EP 86: From Overlooked to Overbooked: Why 'Extra' Is My Superpower!

This week’s episode is for anyone who’s ever been called too much. Too loud, too colourful, too confident, too EXTRA.

Well, guess what? That’s your power.

I’m breaking down how a shady comment (“your little NUFF friend”) lit a fire under me, and how I’ve used being EXTRA as the key to everything — confidence, opportunities, carnival vibes, speaking gigs, and getting overbooked AF.

I’m sharing the behind-the-scenes of my journey from being overlooked to commanding stages, dancing in the girls’ toilets, and fully living in my joy, all while raising kids who STEAL MY WATER. 😤

This is the first episode in my new Find Your Extra series — a reminder that your magic is usually the thing people tried to dim.

So, what’s your EXTRA? Let’s find it.

Chapters

• 0:00 Grateful for the Hate
• 3:29 From Overlooked to Overbooked
• 7:29 Finding Your Extra
• 11:00 Kids Getting on My Nerves
• 14:37 Hosting the Inspiration Stage
• 17:49 Being Authentic Matters Most

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I am so grateful for the hate. Okay, let me explain. So last week, do you guys remember that I told you the story of your little enough friend? I saw your little enough friend, which was a statement that someone sent to one of my friends when they saw me out working. They saw me out working, which involved me dancing and performing, and that was the common and I was. I didn't take offense to it, but I used it and I took, with pictures that were taken this week or during the week of me doing events, me out in my carnival costumes, me just being extra, since extra is a whole superpower for me. I quoted on it your little enough friend. So if anyone was wondering why, that is why I took it and I ran with it. The same way, I took extra as a negative and I ran with it and it was really great because I actually got the opportunity to talk about it on a live that I was on this week with the Home Life and you and I'm going to talk a bit more about that, but you know what it done for me.

Speaker 1: 1:11

That comment put a rocket up my ass because it reminded me why I do what I do. It reminded me how important my journey of extra has been and where it's got me to, because I feel like I've gone from being overlooked to being overbooked and I'm going to say that and manifest more I want to be even more overbooked. I haven't stopped a week. I'm going to give you a rundown of my week. I have not stopped. I've been here my week. I have not stopped. I've been here. I've been here, I've been traveling and it's been amazing. It's been lovely because I've enjoyed it. I've been in the studio, I've been making, I've been doing services for people, helping them feel good and look good in their clothes. I have gone from overlooked to overbooked and my journey on extra and being extra is one of the reasons, it's one of the main things that have just lifted me. It is one of the things that has made me be seen, because I've put myself out there. I've purposely put myself out there to be seen and I'm not making myself be something I'm not. I'm not saying, oh, I'm going to be extra so I can be seen. I've just done what is in my heart of hearts to do. I have done what my spirit has told me to do. If my spirit said, baby girl, be be you dance like nobody's watching. I done what my spirit was like it is in you to do this, and by not doing it, it feels like you're stifling yourself, like you're just dimming your light, and this is what has brought me to where I am today to speak on stages and just have confidence, to be out there and stop people in the street and get them talking about themselves. And put my phone up in the girls' toilets and get everyone dancing and actually not give a fuck, whether you like it or not.

Speaker 1: 3:21

Hi guys, welcome to another episode of the so Flippin' Extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flippin' extra. Why are here, you whacks? Well, babes, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's continue with this episode of the so Flippin' Extra show.

Speaker 1: 3:44

I really want to make find your extra a thing. I want to make it a tag, I want to make it a vibe. Maybe I want to put it on a t-shirt, maybe I want to put it on a notebook. I want you guys to find your extra. I want you to think about what is it that makes you stand out and you can't say nothing. You absolutely cannot say nothing. It's not nothing. You just have to think. You have to think about what is that thing that you love? Maybe you're super smart, maybe you can sing, maybe you can't sing, maybe you are so tone deaf that it makes you stand out. I want you to figure it out, because sometimes it's that negative that everyone else makes makes it feel like it's a negative. That is really your positive. It is really the thing that everyone knows and loves you for and you know it's like oh, it might be that little oh, that's cute, and you might be like. And you know it's like oh, it might be that little, oh, that's cute, and you might be like, but they love you for it at the same time. Maybe that's your extra, but the I guess the main thing is actually for finding your extra and it's that thing that makes you feel good. That's it. It's that thing that you just want to do and you don't care. You just don't care whether to anyone else you're doing it good or bad, you just love doing it.

Speaker 1: 5:14

Whether or not someone thinks I'm a good speaker or I'm a good presenter, I'm a good host, that doesn't matter. People think I am not a good singer and I. You know it's debatable. It's debatable, but I love singing and I'm going to sing, and I'm going to sing loud if I want to, and it's not going to sound all that good, depends what I mean. If it's Whitney Houston, it might sound it's usually going to sound quite good I've perfected it but usually it's not going to sound good, but I'm going to do it. I'm a dance, I ain't. Am I going to dance? Well, probably not, if I'm being honest. But I'm a dance because I love dancing, I love moving my body, I love singing, I love feeling the music on my skin. I love it. So I'm going to do it.

Speaker 1: 6:06

That's, that's my extra, and I honestly believe I've got a lot of extra rhythms. I've got a lot of things that make me extra and that I found that make me extra and bring me joy, and that is what makes me extra. That is what makes me feel good. So what's yours? What is it? Let me know, share it. If you're listening through Buzzsprout, then you can send a fan mail and tell me what makes you extra. What is it? What is it? What is your thing? And if you're not sure, how are you going about finding your extra? Let me know and then, if anything, you can send it in, you can hit me up, you can slide into my dms and let me know. I really, really want to know and I just want I'm on a mission to help everyone find their extra. Maybe that's. Yeah, I think we're gonna have a series.

Speaker 1: 6:59

This is episode one of finding your extra. I am not gonna lie, I am so thirsty. I had a bottle of water by my bed. This is why kids get my flipping nerves. I had a bottle of water by my bed. It was a lovely glass bottle. One event that I did last weekend um, they had bottles of water. I don't know if we were supposed. No, we were, because the bottles were for us to drink. So I took one home. So I was like, oh, this is nice, just to keep by my bed, so in the morning I can have a bottle of water and I can refill it. And I woke up.

Speaker 1: 7:29

I woke up yesterday morning looking for my water. I'm like where the fuck is my water? So I've gone in. I've gone in the sitting room because Kay's sleeping in the sitting room. I was like Kay, where's my water? Yeah, I'll replace your water. That's not why I fucking asked Where's my water, bruv? Yeah, oh no, I'll replace it, mum. I said you're actually getting on my nerves because you're not answering. Just tell me. Like you've taken my water. But where is it? I'm thinking at least if the bottle's still here, I can replace it. I'll get you a new bottle of water. I said I don't want no freaking plastic bottle of water, I want my glass bottle of water. I'll buy you a new one, but okay, so you took my water and you took it out the house and you didn't even bring my bottle back. No, do you know what? Okay, this can't be that.

Speaker 1: 8:16

Every week I'm complaining about my kids. But what the hell is that? What the hell is that? Why would you take my stuff and not bring it back? Well, you didn't even ask.

Speaker 1: 8:26

I'm really, yeah, I feel like this week has been me just repeating and regurgitating myself to these children and I'm hoping we've got to the end of the week and they've got it and they've understood it and more. We've got to the end of the week and they've got it and they've understood it and, more than anything, they respect it, because that's what I feel is missing there's a there's a level of respect for what is mine in my room, that these kids aren't understanding, and it's winding me up and I don't know what to do. Any anyone out there that's listening that you can give me your advice on how I can put this level of respect that I need my children to have for me back in? Please let me know, because I mean beatings, is not it? I'm not gonna the kid's bigger than me. I can't hit him. Even if I wanted to, could I. He'd laugh at me. If I tried to hit him, he'd actually just laugh at me, but I don't know what it is. It's winding me up, though, so my mouth, my mouth's hella dry right now. So, yeah, I'm gonna. We're gonna come to the end of this, as, oh my god, see, look, that's how dry my mouth is. I can't even talk properly. We're gonna come to the end of this episode soon so that I can actually go and one eat something and two get some water.

Speaker 1: 9:38

So this week I went live with Penny from the Home Life and you show, and the Home Life and you show is actually the old Clean and Tidy, so it was originally Clean and Tidy. So if you guys have been following me for a while, you would have heard me talk about Clean and Tidy. This is going to be my fourth year down there in October, but my third year actually. Is it oh, I can't remember but I think it's going to be my third year actually presenting down there, and last year I had I was the host of the extra stage. No, yeah, last year and the year before I was the host of the extra stage and this year I've moved on up, guys.

Speaker 1: 10:18

So we went live last week, monday and with a video and told everyone that I'm going to be hosting the inspiration stage. So the inspiration stage last year was the main stage, but because all everything has been renamed, it is now the inspiration stage and, yeah, I'm so grateful. It was like obviously I don't want to say obviously, because that sounds really big headed where's the humbleness? But I was chosen to be the host of the inspiration stage because I'm just the inspiration and that makes me feel so good and I felt I really had to hold back the tears because I feel whenever I go live on the, whenever I've been live on the clean and tidy page before, I always get so emotional because I'm just so grateful the of the journey that I've been on, like my journey with Penny Penny is the CEO of the clean and tidy started by her seeing me through a friend's client and she saw my page.

Speaker 1: 11:26

She was like, wow, this girl's interesting, let me hit her up. So she hit me up. This was what this would have been three, four years ago, and that's how I was first introduced to the clean and tidy home show and I was invited to come down so I could do a demo. Um, I done two demos, because there's always over two days. So a demo of upcycling, how people can upcycle, and doing a quick upcycle. I think the first year I done, I cut up a T-shirt to show people how you can just do these quick upcycles and anyone can do it. And so then Penny loved me Obviously I love Penny and I was invited back the next year and the next year she said what is it that I want to do? And I said that I wanted to be a presenter. So there was already two stages there and so what had what happened is they created the stage for me so that I could present on stage.

Speaker 1: 12:28

So the second year of the Clean and Tidy Home Show, I had my own stage and it was called the Extra Stage, and we built this stage up around my brand of being extra and being yourself, and everyone is different. So, although the show was called the Clean and Tidy Home Show, it wasn't just about cleaning and tidying, and so it's really great now that the name has changed, because it really reads that there's so much more. I think what determined people from going before was that they thought it was a cleaning show, like to buy cleaning stuff, and it really isn't, and I said this on the live that anyone can come and you're going to get so much. And what I really want people to do this year is actually look at the speakers that are going to be there and what they're talking about, because it's not what you think at all. People are speaking about real life stuff that is happening. The people that I I've had the amazing opportunities to interview on the extra stage was real life stuff that is happening. The people that I I've had the amazing opportunities to interview on the extra stage was real life stuff and I learned so much in them two years that I hosted that stage.

Speaker 1: 13:29

I learned so much. I learned that I have ADHD. I thought I had ADHD before, but I really understood it and I've just, I felt, seen, and it made so much more sense and just helped me understand myself so much more. I learned about menopause, I learned about perimenopause, I learned about feng shui, I learned about dealing with trauma, dealing with death. I've learned about your menstrual cycle. That one took me out. I was like what I've learned so much I can't even financial, financial stuff so much I've learned by being having the opportunity to present at the Clean and Tidy Home Show.

Speaker 1: 14:13

And now I'm this year I'm going to be on the inspiration stage and I just want, I want to get everyone down there. I want all of you lot to get down there and buy. If you haven't bought your ticket, buy your ticket. It's on the 18th and 19th, I believe, of October and it's just, it's just such a beautiful event. We have built an amazing community down there of just amazing people. There are people that come every year. They might come for both days. There are people that come from out of London and stay down and it's just such an amazing place.

Speaker 1: 14:49

I don't even feel like I've given it credit. I don't even feel like I'm talking it up enough, because I absolutely love this place, literally as soon as the last show has happened this place, literally as soon as the last show has happened the last speak or whatever it is I'm like, right, can't wait till next year. Every year, I can't wait till next year. And it just feels. I just feel so grateful that I I feel seen at the Clean and Tidy Home Show and that's what Penny done for me. She saw me when, as soon as I said I want to be a presenter, she was like saw me. When, as soon as I said I want to be a presenter, she was like absolutely, we can do this. And she never overlooked me. She saw potential in me from the beginning. And when you're out here really just trying to be seen and trying to show people who you are and what you've got, and someone just sees it just like that. It's amazing, it really feels amazing and that was also one of my lessons just to be who you are.

Speaker 1: 15:49

You can't fake who you are because people are. You want people to love you for who you really are. You don't want them to like the person that you've created or the person who you think you want to be, because when it gets tired or you get tired of being that person that you're like. She's an idiot, she sounds like a dummy, she speaks like a fool, but I've created that person because that's who I think the world wants me to be. When you get tired of being her now, you've got to reinvent yourself as this person who just wants to I don't know do the most and be extra Be her. If you're her, be her. Show up as her all the time, because they're either going to love you or they're going to hate you. But let them love you or hate you for who you really are, so that no one has to be like. You've changed, change. Change because you've changed up on your journey, but not because you've created a facade. Be you, baby. Just be who you are and love who you are, and people will love you for who you are. And those that don't love you, they're not supposed to be on your journey with you, and that's fine. Remember, if people don't like you, that's fine. Not everyone is going to like you. You look the same way. You don't like everyone, because some people are just idiots and we could be the idiots and that's fine.

Speaker 1: 17:20

Is basically what I'm saying, but you know what I feel like. I've reached the end of it. I'm laying down. Who do I think I am? I'm actually I've started sitting up, so if you sat, if I sound like I've changed over the duration of this episode, I've gotten really comfortable. I'm holding my mic and I'm just like laying here in my towel. It's getting getting a bit sexy.

Speaker 1: 17:38

Sorry, I don't want you guys to have a mental picture of me just laying here just in my towel on my bed. Keep your mind out of the car. But yeah and I'm just. I just feel so chilled and relaxed and I guess that's the great thing of having my just the audio only podcast, although I kick myself for not recording Recording. Video recording just means I'm giving myself extra work. But I just get to lay here In my towel with my mic like I'm frigging rev run at it. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 18:13

But yeah, anyway, if he's at a town down west side is the best side, do I believe that? I'm not really sure, but what I do believe is that wherever I'm saying, but yeah, anyway, if he's at A-Town Down west side is the best side, do I believe that? I'm not really sure, but what I do believe is that wherever I'm at the vibes at you guys know wherever I'm at the vibes at and, yeah, the vibe is here all week, all week, every week. The vibes just here, man. So make sure you come back next week and check out what I've been up to.

Speaker 1: 18:34

If you want to see what I'm up to during the week, because, babes, I'm busy make sure you follow me on Instagram, because the action happens in the stories. That's what I like to tell everyone. The action is on the stories and, yeah, I like to keep you updated with my comings and goings. And if you see me post something, definitely just hit a like, just heart it, because I don't know everyone's acting like they gotta pay for these hearts out here. It's definitely giving that episode of Black Mirror. If you know the one I'm talking about, you know it is definitely giving Black Mirror out here. I love you guys. Bye.