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The Sew Flipping Extra Podcast
Welcome to the The Sew Flipping Extra Podcast
A platform for me to Express, Explore, Connect and over all be Sew Flipping Extra… why because that brings me joy.
I'd like to describe this podcast as a Self-Improvement podcast. I mostly hope to make you laugh but i'm not gonna lie, you might cry too, as well as think and grow through conversations with other experts in their field.
The Sew Flipping Extra Podcast
EP 88: Delusional Confidence Runs in the Family: Real Talk with My 19-Year-Old Son - Kayden-Lee Dawkins-Ellis!
This week, I’m joined by a very special guest — my first-born, my biggest (literally) child, and future basketball legend: Kayden-Lee Dawkins-Ellis.
We’re talking about the mindset it takes to chase big dreams, why 19 is the most awkward age, how he’s landing opportunities through social media, and what it really means to be delusionally confident... even when things aren’t guaranteed.
From self-taught hoop skills to flying across the world for his first U.S. basketball tour, we dive into growth, manifestation, Gen Z motivation, and parenting a young Black boy with big ambition.
Oh, and of course, there’s vibes. Always.
Stay extra, so you ain’t gotta get extra. ✌🏾
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so we're looking at that camera. That wasn't on, hey guys. So let me just start off with my intro so we can really get stuck into this episode because, as you can see, I have an amazing guest with me today, the my favorite guest of ever. So, hi guys, welcome to another episode of the sofa pin extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be Sofapinextra. Why Are you guys asked? Well, babes, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's get into this episode, let's get into season three, being delusionally confident, and let's introduce my son. Man of the hour or half an hour depends how long we go. Mr K, the leader of Kizelis, insert claps. Hey K, what Well, thank you for agreeing so willingly. I didn't even have to force you to come to be on my podcast today. What made you want to come in?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I feel like obviously I like the thought of being seen and being put on youtube. That's one thing, and then I'm on my mind high five.
Speaker 1:You know, we should do one of those. Have you seen those um reels or um tiktoks, where the kid goes my mum's doing a mum's doing a product and you better like it? Go on, mum. We should do that innit. Okay, we're going to do that.
Speaker 2:Do you remember?
Speaker 1:last year, when it was your 18th birthday, we did an episode. I can't remember what we spoke about. Do you remember doing that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was doing my hair, though.
Speaker 1:Was I doing your hair at the time.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1:And we did an. So Kaden has just turned 19 a week ago About a week ago Not cool. And yeah, how does it feel to be a year older? And let's start there. How does it feel? Yeah, just talk, let's just talk.
Speaker 2:It's a good feeling, but I just don't like the age of 19. It's awkward. I really don't like it. You don't like the number I don't like the number, I really don't like it, you don't like the number.
Speaker 1:I don't like the number.
Speaker 2:I really don't. 19 is so like, so random. I'd rather be 18 or 20. 19 is just a year that should just get skipped over.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, you are 19. Yeah, whatever, what are you most looking forward to for this next year?
Speaker 2:I think just the opportunities that I've kind of come in my way. I think that I feel like this year is kind of presenting me with a lot of opportunities, whether it's like this year has already or it's going to has already okay um, I feel like in basketball, just in life in general, I feel like I've been presenting with a lot of things like be given a platform to make a name for myself. Then that's all I can do.
Speaker 1:But where's that platform come from?
Speaker 2:I think a lot of it now is from social media. If you're not kind of up there and out there and promoting yourself, no one's going to see your stuff. You'd be the best player in the world, but if you don't have a platform to present yourself, then who are you?
Speaker 1:Oh my God, a platform to present yourself. And who are you? Oh my god, do you know? I just got um deja vu well from this from what you were saying.
Speaker 1:Do you remember during lockdown? That's all I was grilling onto you about. Yeah, I was like, be on 9k when you go to the park even, because, remember lockdown, they took down all the rims, yeah. So I was like, who cares? Just find the wall and go play ball and and record it, because no one's out there, everyone's online, so this is the best place for them to see it. And it looks like you finally started listening. Yeah, it only took you. What? Five years? No, it's what I said five years. You've been doing it, you've been. Do you know how many people will be that I don't even speak to on a regular basis? And it's just like, oh my god, your boy's so good he, he plays so well. Like what's happening. So you know, I mean what is happening, what's happening with the basketball.
Speaker 1:This will probably be the episode that comes out on Saturday, actually Sunday.
Speaker 2:This week I'm travelling to America with an AAU team.
Speaker 1:No way, oh my God, oh my god, you guys heard it here first.
Speaker 2:I'm going to play a tournament when I'm out there. It's more than just a tournament, it's kind of just the exposure and marketing myself to a group of different people Doing all of that.
Speaker 1:That's amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like two and a half weeks, so what?
Speaker 1:are you mostly looking forward to with that?
Speaker 2:I think I think a new experience. I feel like, as much as I've like go travelling to different countries I've been to different countries but I feel like Alright calm down. I feel like America's just one of those places that, if you don't experience it like yeah yeah, it's like, but I feel like it's more the same concept as like london like, or just england kind of well.
Speaker 1:so I said to him, I said to kate you need to do content over there. Like you know they, you'll have americans that come over to the uk and like do their proper content, vlog, and you're not necessarily like that, like you lot would jump on my videos when I'm doing them, but you need to have your camera out there and being like, yeah, we're just walking down the road and have your friends doing like the pappy show in the background, or you lot are at the park, like you need to find a park. You lot have to travel in fours, so you lot need to find a park and go shoot some hoops at the park and get that on content. Like the weather, I don't think you'll be able to. I don't think you'll cut out for that kind of weather, kate. I don't know what's the weather like.
Speaker 2:Vegas. That's the last stop but, like generally, it's like 40 to 49 yeah and then during the night it's like 28.
Speaker 1:I went, I went on my phone to look at the. Let me check, let me get, I saved, I saved.
Speaker 2:I got my phone.
Speaker 1:Is your phone there? Yeah, alright, check the weathers. It's like all the destinations you're going. I won't tell them all the destinations you're going for safety. They're all like in the 30s. Yeah, ok, so 20. That's currently. Hang on, let me go in. That's it. So for your first stop no, that's not your first stop. For your second stop they're all in the 34. Every day I'll go back your first stop.
Speaker 1:It's about the same as over here in the 20s 28, 27, 26 yeah, vegas, though, that's all well, I don't know how it's going to be the week you're there, but it's like in the 40s, 42. Listen, just make sure you've got some vests with you. Don't be stinking, don't stink. Don't let me send you out these places and you just stink. I don't smell bad. Never, you don't, you, don't, not anymore.
Speaker 2:This is season three, yeah, and the whole vibe of season three is about being delusionally confident, and what does that mean to you? I think like being being overly being, like being very much overly confident, and even if you know that you're not in a position when you have it, or you like you don't have it at the current moment that you're gonna have it yeah kind of talking, not even just talking into existence, but letting it be known to everyone yeah there's a.
Speaker 2:There's a really big difference between arrogance and confidence, and I feel like people getting mixed up nowadays, but yeah, just just being, just having, having pride in what you do I love that.
Speaker 1:I do love that and that's exactly the same like it's about believing believing it's going to happen, putting it out there. You know, since you guys have been young you and Callie I've talked to you a lot about the law of attraction. You believe it and you will receive it and you just really manifest it. You put it out there and it can be yours. And manifesting is part of it, but also working towards it, and you're definitely doing that. So you already believe that you can achieve it. You've been believing you can achieve it. Things are moving in the direction of you achieving it, but you're actually putting in the work, like you're doing the late hours of training, the early mornings, um training, the long days at college that you've been doing. Like I'm I'm so proud of you honestly and I know I tell you this quite often is it's not just for the, for the episode. I am, I'm so proud of you and I'm so proud of just where you've come from. Not where you come from, but how far you've come in the journey.
Speaker 1:And I remember vividly when you decided to start playing basketball from doing track and I was just like just be a track star, like why are you changing now and like he taught himself to play basketball. Because I, in my head, I was like you just want to play basketball. You haven't even been playing basketball. And then, when I first saw him play, I was like you're actually good. And he learned just watching YouTube videos and I just think that's amazing. When you have a goal and a dream, nothing can stop you getting there. Yeah and yeah, you're proof of that.
Speaker 2:I think um, the switch was something that was kind of needed, like I was so tired of like doing a sport that like required. So like not even, just like I'm not scared. I'm not scared of the training, I'm not scared of the process but I feel like I was so.
Speaker 2:like, when you play a sport that doesn't require you to communicate with other people, I feel like like you start to become selfish in that sport, and I don't. That's not my persona, that's not what I wanted to be painted as. So I feel like playing basketball it's done more for me than just kind of keep me fit and then keep me going, and all of that I feel like it's made me more confident in myself, just seeing the improvements, and then it's made me communicate better with people, like with you lot as well, like just everyone. In general, I feel like um has a lot more benefits than like meets the eye, and it's kind of just in the open, but yeah that's awesome.
Speaker 1:So, as a, as a basketball star, which you are going to be, um, you can get things like lots of sponsors and stuff. What would your idol sponsorship be? Do you have one, I think, like a brand you'd want to be sponsored by? We've got to be delusionally confident. We've got to put it out there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I get sponsored, first brand, first, first, first brand, I think just like a clothing thing, like clothing line. Maybe the clothing line I wear a lot now is like A6 or like I wear a lot of shorts. So like I say, a6 or even like a Primark sponsor would even be bad, just for the essential kind of things.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Once I make it to the league and I get a shoe, though who knows, man, I think I feel like I haven't gone into the age where I've liked a certain shoe, like obviously with you. Like you got to the age and you got Converse oh my god, I've loved Converse.
Speaker 1:Since I was probably your age yeah, about 19 and I started going college, I've been wearing Converse.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I have that shoe that's like yeah, but if yeah, it's probably Asics right now. But who's to say that?
Speaker 1:Asics, you heard this.
Speaker 2:Who's to say that I'm still going to line up when I'm older?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man.
Speaker 1:I don't really have an ideal brand. Yeah, man, who you calling man?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1:What other questions can I ask you?
Speaker 2:Who are you going? To miss the most when you go away. Oh yeah, my mum.
Speaker 1:Aww, okay, you shouldn't have. You don't have to wash up at all for like.
Speaker 2:I still have to. I'm literally going there to do chores Like not do chores, but I still have to do chores.
Speaker 1:You've got to wash your own clothes.
Speaker 2:I've got to wash my own clothes? Oh no, I've got to clean the room. Obviously that's not an issue.
Speaker 1:You do all of that anyway.
Speaker 2:I'm not Call, it's not there, to be honest.
Speaker 1:Like honestly, Callie is the messy one. Yeah, she's awful. Callie's the messy one You've got to tell her to put everything away. What are you most going to miss about Callie?
Speaker 2:Um, I think the annoyance Like having a burden.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to have that over there.
Speaker 2:Like I feel like, yeah, I'm not going to have the burden over it. It's just more going to be everyone's kind of on the same page. I don't have that at home.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, I look forward to how do I feel? I don't know. I'm excited for you, that you're going and for the opportunities, but I think I'm going to be literally on the edge of my seat every day. Yeah, like a whole freaking america for two and a half weeks. That's crazy. Yeah, that's not a short trip. That's not a short trip.
Speaker 1:That's not a short trip I think by a week and a half I'm gonna be yeah, yeah, I don't know, but he said he's gonna call me every day yeah, so that's all right.
Speaker 2:Oh, I think I don't know what the time difference is. I'm pretty sure it's about eight hours yeah, we'll make it work.
Speaker 1:So I've got a few more questions. If you could give someone, a young person, who wants to get into basketball they're enjoying basketball and they're seeing what you're doing. They're like, wow, okay, you're so cool. Um, what advice could you give them to up their game? Um, be a better team player, anything. What advice would you give a young person?
Speaker 2:as cliche as it sounds, I probably say stay consistent and and come on, mature son have like a player in mind that you want to study and you want to play like yeah, who was yours? Um, I think mine at the time was donovan mitchell. I did say that because he was like around the same height as me yeah and all of that, but you just kind of have to work on idolise someone that has a skill set that you want to do. So, if you want to be a shooter, you watch.
Speaker 1:Bless you.
Speaker 2:If you want to be a shooter, you watch Steph Curry. If you want to like Doug Nabil better you watch like LeBron James. There's always a player that is good in the department that you want to be good in. So put someone above you that you know is better than you, and train the people that are better than you, because training the people that are worse than you is only going to bring you down.
Speaker 1:That's true. You used to always say that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Don't be afraid to switch teams.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't If you're not getting much, if you don't feel like you're gaining what you're going to gain, or the level that you're improving at is being stumped at the team that you're at. Don't ever be afraid to kind of switch Because, especially in the starting levels of playing basketball, as much loyalty as you can have to someone coach will do you dirty man.
Speaker 1:Let's say that's happened to me yeah and okay, so obviously my podcast is called the so flipping extra podcast. What is the most extra thing you think you've done this year? Do you think extra?
Speaker 2:yeah, you're way extra, you're so extra, yeah um, I don't know like most extra thing I've done this year for like day to day life. Stay extra ain't got to get extra.
Speaker 1:I like that. We should use that, shouldn't we Stay extra, so you ain't got to get extra Boom. And what is your song at the moment? Um, genre and song.
Speaker 2:I think genre right now, like right right now, is definitely Soka Woo, Definitely Soka Song-wise. I don't know if I have a song, but I don't know what song I've listened to the most this year, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1:I've listened to young brother quite a lot like when that song first come out yeah better bend over. I definitely listen to that a lot I feel like I don't know.
Speaker 2:I feel like one, even maybe in the morning full I rap in the afternoon. I feel like r b rap in the morning, for like R&B Rap in the morning. Start your day off like hi Bella, that's not ridiculous.
Speaker 1:It's not. It's not ridiculous.
Speaker 2:There's been times where you was listening to whoever was like popping like when you was my age. There's no way that you wasn't listening.
Speaker 1:I mean, I was listening to Biggie Exactly. There's no way you didn't.
Speaker 2:And Lil' Kim, there's no. No, he didn't listen to Biggie like fresh in the morning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but Biggie was like mellow though.
Speaker 2:No, but like some of the stuff he talks about, isn't that much better.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's the beats, though the beats aren't as like, yeah, like.
Speaker 2:I can listen to like R&B Like a lot of the beats back then was like R&B mixed with rap Could do that now. It just depends what kind of mood I'm in.
Speaker 1:Okay, I could do that now, it just depends what kind of mood I'm in. Okay, what do you do when life gives you lemons? Make lemonade, boo. But we don't have any lemonade, so yeah, make a margarita For real or a mojito. Oh, that's the one I was talking about Make a mojito.
Speaker 2:I had one when I went on Turkey Are you even allowed. No, I had it, it was non-alcoholic.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, phew, because I wouldn't want to put that on the pod. No underage drinking, no underage drinking at all. Well, okay, I mean, this has been my first guest of season three of the so Flippin' Extra podcast. I am honoured to have my big child on here and I'm so proud of you, like I said, and I'm excited for your journey over the next couple of weeks. Yeah and yeah, say bye.
Speaker 2:Bye.
Speaker 1:Oh, we've got to do our outro. Do you want to do the outro? What Peace out. You've got to do our outro.
Speaker 2:Do you wanna do the outro? What Peace out 8Town.
Speaker 1:Down. You gotta do it properly though, okay. Okay, go on. Do it not how you did it in the video. Do I have to do that hand signal?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, what's the hand signal?
Speaker 1:Peace out 8Town Down West side. It's the best side Straight to the camera.
Speaker 2:Wait Peace out, peace out, peace out.
Speaker 1:Do you believe it.
Speaker 2:Do I believe what?
Speaker 1:That Westside is the best side, of course. Stay right All right Westside is the best side. Do I believe that? Not really, but what I do know is that wherever I'm at the vibe's out, wherever we're at the vibe's out and the vibe's always here on the so Flippin' Extra podcast the vibe is keeping it delusionally confident. Stay confident. Whatever it is that you want to achieve, go for it. And yeah, just talk the talk and stay extra, so you ain't got to get extra boom amazing.