For Steppers Only: Raw, Uncut, and Unedited
Welcome to the For Steppers Only podcast—the spot where real ones from all walks of life link up to chop it up about everything under the sun. We’re talking relationships, careers, education, sports, the supernatural, sexuality, personal growth, entrepreneurship, family vibes—you name it. With a mix of laughs, raw conversations, and deep dives, this podcast is all about learning, leveling up, and hearing voices you might not come across every day. Pull up and vibe with us as we break it all down and celebrate the journey of life from every angle. Let’s step into something real together.
For Steppers Only: Raw, Uncut, and Unedited
Man Get me out this Toxic Bullshit …. Special Guest SmallWood45
Why do nice people consistently find themselves at a disadvantage in modern relationships? Our raw, unfiltered conversation tackles this age-old question with fresh perspectives on how kindness can become a liability when dealing with toxic partners.
We dive deep into the power dynamics of contemporary relationships, exploring how manipulation through intimacy has become a normalized control tactic. "The nicer I treat you, the nastier you're going to be," one host observes, highlighting the paradoxical punishment good people often face for their generosity and consideration.
The discussion takes an illuminating turn when examining what true partnership looks like beyond financial contributions. "The whole concept of 50-50 does not derive straight to money," we emphasize. "If I take 50% of your stress away and make 50% of your life easier, you can be 50% more happy and productive in life." This redefinition of relationship equity challenges listeners to evaluate their connections based on emotional support and quality of life enhancement rather than just monetary contribution.
Our special guest joins to provide additional perspective on how traditional relationship roles have evolved while the fundamental need for partnership remains unchanged. Together, we explore how increasing financial pressures in society make supportive relationships more crucial than ever, yet increasingly difficult to maintain. "When you get married, you have kids with somebody, what you're doing is saying 'no matter what happens, it's me and you versus the world.'"
Whether you're currently navigating relationship challenges, recovering from toxic patterns, or seeking to build healthier connections, this episode offers valuable insights on finding genuine partnership in a world that often rewards toxic behavior. Listen now to gain perspective on creating balanced, mutually supportive relationships instead of falling into the "nice person" trap.
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Speaker 3:It ain't no pressure out there, my nigga, everybody fuck with you. Cause what you do, my nigga, what you say, what you speak on, these motherfuckin' beats nigga. Only thing that I can motherfuckin' tell you on some real what you do, my, what you say, what you speak on these, we back, we back, we back, hey, we back, like we never back. You know who that motherfucking is? Without introductions, exactly Shit, shit, oh shit. I introduced him. Introduce him as motherfucking Smiley. Yes, sir, yes, indeed, I mean shit. You know, we took a little hiatus. You know, sometimes you got to get folks to tell you to stay focused because a lot of people lose focus on shit, lose focus on the journey, and we, you know, we got to get swayed back in, right right, that's why you got to stay focused.
Speaker 2:Yep, that's one of the key things with not even just this industry in life. You got to stay focused, even when because we seeing the progress that's not what we saying at all, but you know, sometimes getting your own head about certain stuff and, you know, just got a lot back in.
Speaker 3:That's all I mean. Like you said, like we were talking about earlier, man, before we even started rolling Shit, this whole nice guys finish last. Or nice females start finish last. I say because a lot of people in this damn aging world think, just because they got you locked in with them, that you always going to be there, no matter what. Ain't got to do nothing extra, Ain't got to do nothing Right, they ain't got to cook no meal. They ain't got to look out for you, they ain't got to send no. Hey, I just want to check on you text and no shit like that. Or you know what shit. Even go even further. Be kind and cordial and show the motherfucker that you fuck with him the extra strong way.
Speaker 3:I said because some folks I mean shit like hey, we were talking about it earlier that toxic ass pussy. Yeah, yes, lord, hey, let me go ahead and keep this shit going. I don't give a fuck what the fuck they say. You argue with me all motherfucking day I mean all motherfucking day you just throwing little shots here and here. We ain't talking. All motherfucking day, my blood pressure get to boiling like the motherfucker.
Speaker 3:My head get to hurting Boy. I see red. I don't think they understand that shit. Let me tell you something and then at the end of the night I lay down you gonna try to toot your little booty up on me man, I don't want that shit. I don't want that shit. Man, I might be the ignorant motherfucker because I know I ain't shit. I might lay right beside you and beat my motherfucking knee Just to show you I can still catch a nut. I can still do it without you.
Speaker 2:What did I do, Lenny?
Speaker 3:I mean shit, hey, that's the same way. Y'all got down. Y'all get to get on scribbling like a DJ over there. Exactly, I mean paying with a little motherfucking kitty in the box. I mean, with or without that individual, I can still get to where I need to go. Maybe it might be enjoyable with you, but at this current state and time I don't want it. That shit goes both ways, true, I don't know what the fuck y'all be watching If my mindset ain't there. I'll give you a couple bullet points. If my bank account fucked up, mm-hmm, nigga. If my life's about to get cut off, mm-hmm. I wouldn't have got cut off. Mm-hmm. If some shit going on at work I done got rolled up at work, that last thing on my motherfucking mind is a motherfucking pussy and some motherfucking head.
Speaker 2:True, but I will be the person that's going to keep it all the way. Jack, keep it funky. He know I'll be right with this. We still go for it at the end of the day. We still going to let you do it Because, listen, the thing is Nah, never mind, that's going to get too much game. Kb said hey y'all know.
Speaker 3:Hey, let me tell y'all something he give y'all perfect nigga, I don't want it. Hey, listen, I will take my punk ass to the couch. I go sleep in the car. I go sleep when the kids float. I go sleep somewhere else. I go sleep in the bathtub. Get me a pillow, get me a blanket. I'm going to the motherfucking bathtub. I ain't going to sleep in the bathtub because this motherfucker might be mad enough at me to turn on the motherfucking goddamn shit. And I ain't got time to drown. My little ass been drowning in two feet of water. I ain't got time for that shit.
Speaker 2:Because if I wake up, think I'm waterboard, I might have a flashback than when I was in the service. We ain't triggering that ptsd, we ain't having them escapes, but go ahead, smile see, that's what I said.
Speaker 3:We different when it comes down. He don't damn near kill the motherfucker, he don't take all that anger out he might choke your ass.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna think about everything you just said. I'm bringing up while I'm while I'm doing it, while I'm doing your head, while I'm doing your grease what you was saying. That motherfucker's gonna be hitting that back wall.
Speaker 3:Hey but, like you said, you're gonna be hitting that back wall, but the thing is, you also gonna be up there talking about something. Oh, you dirty bitch, you gonna take this dick. All that goddamn yapping, I ain't going to be Goddamn it, I'm going to be good, I ain't going to be normal. That's what you'll be hearing back and I don't want no talk for us of that shit. Because I'm sorry, because I'm in a different state of mind, because I ain't going to give a fuck what you got to say. I just block all this shit out. I just want my peace, I just want my silence, because my philosophy is the nicer I treat you, the nastier you're going to be Right. The nicer I treat you, the more you're going to fuck with me.
Speaker 2:That ain't everybody, though, you're right, but that's the toxic shit, see. And there you go, bruh, that's what I'm talking about today Toxic, Toxic, and the toxic me, you feel me.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's like you said, it's more than one toxic, that's just one. You trying to use the box and you trying to use your shit to manipulate a situation. That's also toxic, motherfucker. You right, I ain't know. You right, that should be toxic as hell.
Speaker 3:Hey look, look, I'm bad about this man. I ain't gonna hold you. My whole thing is oh, you gonna act stupid Shit. Alright, you on punishment. Don't even ask for nothing. Don't even try to put your little boot up on me. Don't try to cut down on something. Don't you want to come lay down with me?
Speaker 3:No the answer is no motherfucker, but I mean shit. Different folks for different folks. Because a lot of people don't fail to realize how things move in the way of life, Because if I look out for you more, you're going to look out for me more. And to be honest about this way and this world that we live in, it's more than just a little. It's more than just dicking pussy out of here.
Speaker 2:It's more than just a wet spot. They don't make it try to. They don't try to make it seem like it is, though they try to use that as the bargaining chip, as the end-all be-all. If you as the end all be all, but I mean, if you don't get this, you can't have this. You don't do this for me, you can't. No, no more, nah.
Speaker 3:I'll tell you what it is. The boys down today Well, they put a dollar sign on that. Motherfucker had to. Good morning that too.
Speaker 3:Most definitely because they try to oh, give me a thousand dollars, you ain't even got a thousand dollars come on, give me a thousand dollars no, they were saying, oh, buy me this, buy me that, buy me this, buy me that. And it's like I bust myself at work. I do this at work, I do that at work. And it derives from what? Because the scales can't be uneven. I can't do more for you than you do for me. I can't look out for you more than you look out for me, because, at the end of the day, you work the same way I do, and I mean, I understand we might not make the same, I might make less than you Exactly, but in those trying times I might be down to my last 20.
Speaker 3:And I still gave it. Shoot, I might give it, I might be trying to get on, you know, scrounge some pennies up. I might not even let you know, that's all I got. I just figured out like, okay, I got this many days to payday, or I got this over here about to work. I got this person got now almost money. Let me try to wag someone. Well, I got this to do. Well, let me go run this. Those are the people that truly fall with you. Yeah, because sometimes you can't get somebody always on the front end. You got to get them on the back end and a lot of times people don't understand that because they so self-minded and so self-conscious to where they don't know their head from their asshole, but back to what you were talking
Speaker 2:about the nice guys finish. Last man. I feel like in this society, with everything going on you see everything. I'm not even going to use the news, because to me the news has been obsolete for a minute. They only show you what they want you to see, what they want you to know. It's stuff like that anyway. So I feel like you got to go out and search for your information, whatever and that's what I mean by the nice guy. The nice guy might just oh, okay, that's what you tell me, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, bro, I just got a question for you. Now we in a day and era where everybody's selling content, right yeah, it's like you got to pay to play.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:But these motherfuckers thinking that our bank account is deep as fuck. But don't understand, we're working nine to five, right, or we grinding, or we trying to dig our way out of holes, right, or we trying to put ourselves in a better position to make lives easier for both of us. But before we even got with them, right, or we started pursuing them. Yo, I ain't gonna lie, shit we might have, you know, took the other route and, you know, bought a little content, spent a little folding, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I don't ask for shit. You know, just see, something we can't see on the regular basis.
Speaker 3:I feel you. Why is it that they get so offended when they find that out? But you still ask me for money. But you think another female can't. But there's a limit, because I used to work with this guy Shit. That motherfucker was spending like $1,300 a month on just looking at pussy. That's overboard. That boy throw it off. But then every time y'all get the argument you say something like that's why you're a nasty nigga. You up here buying content from bitches, but you on a trip when I take you to the strip club with me and you throwing my money on these motherfuckers what's?
Speaker 1:the difference.
Speaker 3:What's the difference between you me buying content from somebody just to see them shake some ass, suck some dick or fuck Right Somebody else other than myself, then me taking you to an establishment where I'm throwing money, or I just go by myself or with my partners, but you don't make a big deal about that.
Speaker 2:The only thing I can really say, the only thing that's really. You put it down like that, you lay it out like that. The only thing that's coming to my head is really three things, to be honest Jealousy, envy and just like borderline I won't say crazy, but damn near Like. It's like why would you think, just because we're not even together, like I'm single, yeah, yeah, we're doing stuff, but I'm single at the same time as you're single. I don't know what the fuck you're doing on these days. I'm pretty sure you're getting money from other niggas. So what is the issue for me giving her some money when she asked for it? Matter of fact, she didn't even ask for it. I just did it out of the kindness of my heart, because she don't ask. You're the one who asks, so not who looks like an asshole the one who asks or the one who don't ask.
Speaker 3:I mean, you're absolutely right because they be in that goofy shit sometimes, because a lot of times them motherfuckers be asking and asking and asking with their hand out and you never know what they always got their hand out for some shit. I've heard plenty of females say this off the dribble Shit, I got a nigga for this. I got a nigga for this. I got a mechanic man. I got a motherfucker to take me out to eat. I got a motherfucker. I fuck, I got a motherfucker for this.
Speaker 2:That's why I said what I just said. You can't be trying to put on goddamn the same shoe and then look down and be mad when it's two different sizes. You need to be goddamn due diligence at the beginning of this motherfucker, because if we already know that we both single, why in the hell? And you done already told me that, like Jack said, I got a nigga for this, I got a nigga for that, I got a nigga for you. Think we forget you?
Speaker 3:think just because we can fuck you, you think we forget all that shit. So this is my question. So there's two sides to the coin. Yeah, I know you out here fucking somebody before me. Right, let's break this shit down, because I see these motherfuckers posting girl, I'm single as ASL.
Speaker 2:They trying to get attention with that shit Like a motherfucker.
Speaker 3:You know what ASL stands for. As fuck, nah, hell, nah. You thinking like a nigga terms. What is ASL? And fucking. Damn, damn I ain't even thinking about that shit. Single and fucking Single AF, single AF damn, damn you can't. I don't give a fuck what nobody say. You got an itch you want to scratch. You going to go reaching that black book. That's a fact.
Speaker 2:That rose ain't going to go, you so far he hit one of her nose with that one ain't going to lie to you. You got an itch you want to scratch. You definitely going to go in that little black book, you going to go in that black book.
Speaker 3:You going to scroll, you going to dig to you we got to hit you with a scratchy book. Definitely going to go in that little black book. You going to go in that black book. You going to scroll, you going to dig in them cobwebs. You going to see the nigga that made a goddamn message. You 30 times on Facebook, 30 times on Snapchat, 30 times on Instagram and you going to goddamn bite.
Speaker 2:You going to bite one of them, damn.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we feel like that Because, I'm sorry, I ain't in your back pocket 24-7. I ain't your probation officer. I'm on your ankle 24-7.
Speaker 2:I can only believe what you tell me, but that comes with trust.
Speaker 3:So should I not trust you from the get-go?
Speaker 2:Trust is earned. You got I just really think that trust is earned. You got to put people through shit and I used to be I just really think that the trust is earned. And you gotta, you gotta put people through shit. I look at and I used to be I'm like when I heard people say that shit, I'm like, what the fuck Like? But now, growing up like I really feel like you do.
Speaker 2:You gotta see what the fuck a person's really going to be capable of putting up with, cause you ain't going cause my thing, be this, my thing, be this. You don't know what the fuck life going to throw at you. So if a motherfucker just going to leave you for some fucking pennies hitting the ground when they weren't supposed to, you could have tested that three at the beginning and seen that she wasn't going to be a ride or die for you. You could have did something like oh baby, I ain't got today Shit. You can pay for this goddamn little outer real quick. And then just, I mean that's just a little small little shit. Damn, baby, I ain't got no gab money Shit, so you mind driving today. Like I mean just a little shit, like it's just you know, bro, I play this shit like Spade.
Speaker 3:bro, play this shit like Spade. You don't know my hand, I don't know yours, right, but I got to trust you to have my back in every situation. Mm nigga, you start fucking up. You were needing missing books when you supposed to get that book. Hey, what the fuck is that? Okay, I let one thing slide. What the fuck is that?
Speaker 2:two, things slide.
Speaker 3:Now she think, everything can slide right, but now, shit, now, where we sit, where we stand, we all fucked up, hey, smiley. Hey, I want to let these folks know we got a special guest right now. Yes, sir, we got a motherfucking. Hey, we got my brother from another mother Motherfucking Big Wood. I mean Big Wood, why this? Hey, he a retired gynecologist, y'all. He is the infamous uterus.
Speaker 3:But so we were talking about this. Now, oh, you ain't got to hold it like that dog, you can just talk. We were having this conversation about how females these day and age always got their hands out or judge you off of things that you do, or toxic, or venomous pussy. It's a true statement. Like they want to argue, then they want to throw it at you. But don't you think? Do you feel like, if they start arguing, arguing, arguing with you, that you should give in to it, or you should be like I'm still going to get something later on tonight, or you're like man, shit, fuck that. I don't want no part of that. Let me put space between me and her. I need to cool off. You need to cool off. Hey, I'll hit you up when I want to hit you up again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for me I mean it would depend on who the person is first off. But I mean I'm not just going to sit here and argue with nobody for no reason, right? So if there's some sort of argument we had and or you're arguing for no reason, like, let's figure that out first. But I'm not going to put any effort into furthering any developments, if that's what it is Right. Sorry to argue. I mean that's just, that's pointless and that's you know.
Speaker 1:I'm a man of peace, all my own peace and quiet. I don't want a woman adding to that, taking away from that and adding to the negativity and toxicity is what I should say.
Speaker 3:I tell people all the time the whole concept of 50-50 does not derive straight to money. It's a backfiller off. If I take 50% of your stress away and make 50% of your life easier, you can be 50% more happy, 50% happier and more productive in life. And, like I was telling somebody the other day, a, a situation, a relationship or anything doesn't need to be toxic. Um, because you got to understand in my house I'm at got to understand in my house I'm at peace. Once I walk outside of those doors, I'm at war. I'm at war with every encounter that I come into contact with. So I rely on you to help me through these battles, instead of by myself. Because, shit, yeah, we're going to have our trials and tribulations, but how can you make my shit more stressful to where I'm going to croak out? I'm going to die. I'm going to be more stressed out. My dick ain't going to work, no more, because I'm always fucking stressed out.
Speaker 1:My dick will work. I don't know. It doesn't matter how much.
Speaker 3:Everything else. Okay, that didn't even work, but it's just like help me be at peace because at the end of the day, I'm going to give you a piece of this dick.
Speaker 1:I agree with that sentiment. In my own personal opinion, I think the traditional roles of the household, the family I don't think that is around or will be around ever again in today's day and age which is understandable because the traditional roles of the wife stays home, take care of the house, take care of the kids, all that it's not needed anymore, it's not necessary. But I will say the roles of hey, you are the wife, I am the husband, the role being you look out for me, I look out for you 50 50. It's not about monetary, it's about I'm going to look after what I have and you're going to look after what you have, and we're going to go through life together and take everything to the chin together.
Speaker 1:Because that's what you're doing when you sign up in a relationship, when you get married, you have kids with somebody. What you're doing is you're saying, hey, no matter what happens, it's me and you versus the world. It's me and you taking care of us, taking care of life, taking care of our kids, taking care of this situation. People turn everything into oh, you know, my partner, my partner, my partner, oh, they did this, oh, they're doing this, oh, and, like you know, sometimes that's all good and dandy, but you still have to realize at the end of the day it's you and that person against the world.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and I'm in full agreeance with you Because when you look at our grandparents and our parents, when they were coming up, shit was cheaper, shit was easier, shit was less expensive. You could work at fucking McDonald's and afford somewhere to stay. Now, motherfuckers that are working six-figure jobs can't even afford somewhere to stay. Sometimes I was talking to somebody the other day she's going through on the ringer because they want four times the income just to move in and it's like do I want to stay where I just saw somebody get shot and the cops the tape outline is still out there or do I want to stay in somewhere nice? Do I want to stay somewhere comfortable, or do I want to stay where the fucking ceiling's falling out? Or do I want to live with a fucking roommate? I don't want a fucking roommate because I don't know this motherfucker. I don't know this weird motherfucker. Next thing, you know we beefing, or people get into a situation or a relationship they can't even afford to leave. And that's sad because I'm stuck in this motherfucking situation I was happy with at one point in time, but now I'm in this motherfucker by myself. I'm trying to get myself out and now I'm stuck Even with, like, we talk about how we're supposed to have each other's backs because I can come like I can't tell you how many times I need somebody to deal with me. Hey, motherfucker, get your ass up. We got bills to pay. If it's just left on me, I'm like. I'm like I don't need to go to work today. I'm going to call out. I can afford to call out without my support system.
Speaker 3:There it's hard. It's me battling me. If I'm battling myself, guess who's going to win? Fuck this. I'm laying in this bed. I'm making my shit easy. I'm taking less stress because that's the less stressful route. If I had a partner, a supportive partner, not no toxic motherfucker, not no motherfucker that just caught trying to hit my pocket. Always payday Buy me something. I ain't trying to have it. I'm trying to have a partner to where we can build something together, we can make something together, we can go through this journey together and we can go up against these motherfuckers Together. Because eventually, where are we at? Together?
Speaker 1:Yeah, someone has to hold you accountable. Absolutely In a correct and beneficial Meaningful way.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, because a lot of these individuals Nowadays don't understand, like I need somebody to tell me, john, what Did you pay that bill? Shit, my bad. Let me get on that. And that's holding me accountable, because I tell you like this straight up Came home the other day, tried to get in the damn shower, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo. Oh my, what off? Oh shit, let me. Let me make the payment I forgot.
Speaker 3:Because you got to understand, no person in this world, in this life, is meant to be alone. Because if that was the case, shit, we could procreate by ourselves. We shoot babies out our dicks. That'd be painful as fuck. That's crazy, bro, what you just had. I'm in pain right now. I got a call out of work why? I just had an eight pound baby out the tip of my penis. You'll be in that situation. You get what I'm saying. I get what you're saying. If we could procreate by ourselves, then we know. Because if we could procreate by ourselves, there would no what. That sounds like a hot shit, ain't it? But I'm sorry to say that, but but it's challenging to the mind to think that when I hear people say, oh, I don't need nobody for shit, that's a lie. You need somebody for everything.
Speaker 2:I just feel like those people who say that they've been broken, they've been hurt, they've been shattered. I just feel like the person who they did really want, the person they did really need, let them down and now they're just like you know what? Fuck everybody, I'm going to destroy this bitch. If I can't have her, I don't need nobody. That's how you come up with the motherfuckers in here, the bitter motherfuckers who are just bitter for no reason. You have to see somebody like damn, why is this so bad?
Speaker 3:For no reason. What's going on, boss?
Speaker 1:I mean, that's the other end of the toxic spectrum. There it's like oh, I've been hurt, I've been broken, but I don't want anything from anybody around me. Oh, I can stand alone, oh, I can do this by myself. Oh, I don't need anybody. I mean, it's from both sides, both male, female, it doesn't matter, it's on both sides. Oh, I don't need anybody, I'm an independent Blah that you want to be able to take care of yourself and you want to be there for yourself. That's all fine and dandy, but what a lot of.
Speaker 3:The point of life and even just friendships is connection, right, but so I feel like social media and in olf the hub, all these things have ruined things, because now, shit, I ain't got to make that connection with you. You know what I got to do. Straight on line hey, I just got to pay that $250. I pay that $250. I'm pulling up at your house busting you down and I'm going to go out the back of the door.
Speaker 2:Hey, yeah, that too.
Speaker 3:Because I mean you don't pay a whole estate, you pay a whole league. I'm just saying Because I mean that. But it's sad that he's gotten to that point to where I'd rather pay and eliminate the headache and the stress of dealing with you and just get my my pleasures off and be gone then then build a connection with your relationship with I agree.
Speaker 1:I mean, I have a simple statement for that. I have a life motto no cash for ass. So I ain't doing that.
Speaker 3:You said no cash for ass. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, no.
Speaker 1:I know you're going to pay some type of way. I'm just going to pay some type of way. That's what I'm saying, but I ain't straight up paying cash for ass.
Speaker 2:It's always going to be some type of so type of way you gonna pay for the hotel.
Speaker 1:You gonna pay for something to eat. You gonna pay for something to drink hell, you even gonna pay in time.
Speaker 3:I'm always paying in fucking time hey, you might not even get it, sorry you might not even get it, but welcome to the world we live in now, but it is what it is. Hey, we want to end the day off with hey. Y'all sit down and watch Step by Step. Thank you, big Wood, for sitting down with me and smiling. Appreciate it. Smallwood45. Hey, we out Peace.
