For Steppers Only: Raw, Uncut, and Unedited
Welcome to For Steppers Only—the podcast where real ones from all walks of life pull up to chop it up about everything under the sun.
We dive into relationships, careers, education, sports, the supernatural, sexuality, personal growth, entrepreneurship, family vibes—you name it. This is the space for raw conversations, honest laughs, and deep reflections. It’s all about learning, leveling up, and spotlighting voices you don’t always hear.
Whether you're on the rise, finding your path, or just looking to connect, this podcast is your corner of the world to vibe, grow, and step into something real.
Let’s get into it. For Steppers Only.
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For Steppers Only: Raw, Uncut, and Unedited
Spin Bout U Baby Girl
Navigating the complex journey of being an "outside father" requires extraordinary commitment, unconditional love, and raw honesty. This deeply personal episode pulls back the curtain on fatherhood from a distance, revealing both its heartbreaking challenges and profound rewards.
When my daughter called me upset because a boy at school called her unattractive, I responded with straightforward wisdom rather than empty comfort. "Is he attractive?" I asked. When she said no, the lesson was clear: "Then what does his opinion matter?" These moments of unfiltered guidance create the bedrock of trust our children need, especially daughters growing up in a world constantly testing their self-worth.
The distinction between being a biological father and being a true "daddy" forms the emotional core of this conversation. As I learned from my own godfather who told me at my lowest moment, "I'm your daddy, I love you, and I'll love you until the day I die," real fatherhood transcends blood. This powerful truth—that blood doesn't make family, bonds do—shapes how I parent my own children despite the physical distance between us.
Perhaps most gut-wrenching is the reality of temporary time together. When your child looks up with tears saying, "I don't want to go back, daddy, I want to stay with you," there are no perfect words. But through consistent calls, unwavering support, and showing up however possible, we demonstrate that love isn't diminished by distance. For anyone navigating co-parenting, separation from their children, or wondering how to maintain meaningful connections despite physical absence, this raw conversation offers both comfort and practical wisdom.
Ice, motherfuckin' cold. That boy here, pengu he a little cold. Oh my gosh, I'm tired of you playin' your music. I need you to play my music, cause I'm so sick and tired of you playin' your music. This one for you, tink. So please, I'm begging you, play my music. A little linen, a little linen. Hey, welcome to Fo' Stompers. Only where we tell you to sit down and watch a motherfucking step-by-step. Hey, I'm that little nigga that's kind of getting slim-niggled now. Hey, check me out. I'm motherfucking Jack. Hey, I had to do that for my daughter Because I mean, I got some daughters, I got some special daughters. I ain't even going to hold you. I got some special daughters. Those individuals are so fucking special.
Speaker 1:So it's Tink and Dallas, but Tink is 12. Well, she's 11 by the go 12. So I make sure I call my baby everyday. We have conversations. The way you talk to your daughter Is different from the way I talk to my daughter, because I'd rather me come straight out to my daughter Versus On some Huggy love, love type shit, because, like, I go ahead and I peep you on some shit.
Speaker 1:So my daughter called me one day. No, I called her on my way to work one day and we talking on the phone, my daughter sounds sad. So I was like hey, baby, what's wrong. What's wrong? Tink? No, that is not her real name, but Tink is what I call her. She's like daddy. I'm sad. Baby, why you sad? Because some little boy told me at school that I wasn't attractive Before I knew it. I said baby, is he attractive? He attractive, daddy, no, he's not attractive. I said then, what the fuck does his opinion matter? She bust out laughing. I said baby, let me go ahead and tell you some shit. There's some real shit.
Speaker 1:The way I had to learn when I was older, the folks I thought that was so attractive in high school, what aers looking like bums and crackheads now and I mean a lot of y'all can relate, because I mean the all-star players, the jocks that were like the epitome of everybody, the top-tier niggas. Like we already know, we had top-tier niggas in school and everybody was sought out for them and sought out for the females and shit like that. Like I'm going to go ahead and tell you I wasn't no top tier nigga, but I had to tell my baby, I had to let my baby know that a lot of people's opinions ain't gonna fucking matter because I mean shit like I. I mean like I know one dude I went to school with we ain't gonna say no names, but I caught the nigga one day. I he went on Backstreet Boy. The nigga looked like his jaws all sunk in face, all sunk in eyes, all sunk in Boy. That boy was over there trying to get a double eye.
Speaker 1:I said, oh my God, that boy over here smoking on a glass dick, that boy, goddamn, doing that choo-choo magoo, that boy over here, goddamn, I think he'll do it for $20, for some goddamn, for some goddamn bass. I mean shit. If y'all don't know what the hell lingo, I'm talking about shit. The nigga was over there smoking crack. A double out is a 20 to 20 grand. I'm sorry, a two gram rock that you sell for 20. I mean shit, but that's what he was on. And a glass dick is the pipe that they used to soak Smoke out of, because they suck it so hard that they got down. Shit. Look like they suckin dick. I'm just saying I mean shit. That's what I get the analogy for sucking on a glass dick.
Speaker 1:You give them a saying, but I had to let my baby know hey, baby, fuck that nigga. Shit, you got it. You got a walk in that motherfucker like Carlton on Fresh Prince when he was in the peacock suit Peacocks, we're watching down the street, peacocks, like I mean some real shit, because if I don't tell my baby to look at this shit, it's, it's, it's some, it's some bullshit. In my eyes that's like she was telling me about some other little boy talking about some daddy. Um, little boy, he, he be, he be like, he be trying to talk to every girl at the school and and he just to be like, as soon as he see a new girl, he's at him. I said baby, let me go and tell you some shit. They're gonna be the first person in your grade level to have an std.
Speaker 1:I had to explain to my baby. I said let me tell you something, baby, I'm going to give you an analogy about some things we talk about. We talk about cars, sometimes we talk about clothes, we try to hip them on and shit. You know. And when I was sitting up there talking to my daughter, I used the analogy. I said hey, baby, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something about that little boy. I said that, baby, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something about that little boy.
Speaker 1:I said that boy on the hunt, that boy, just he has an idea in his mind that he has to get his dick wet. He has to go hunt this shit out, he has to go search this shit out. And in real actuality it's not that fucking important. The sustenance in a person is more important than you just got damn, getting your pita snitch, your little wet Noodle, the shit that you still Not dog water. You know what I'm saying, but this is what I had to tell her. I said let me tell you.
Speaker 1:I said how many charges you see on the road? She said, daddy, I see a lot. I said, baby, it don't matter If it's Hellcat or GT or whatever. How many do you see? I said I see a lot, dad. Every time I turn around it's another charge. Okay, cool. I said. So how many Ferraris and Lamborghinis do you see? She said I don't see too many of that baby. I said let me, I'm going to go ahead and tell you, babe, the Ferrari and Lamborghinis is what you need to be, because when you look at it you don't want to be like them girls that everybody say, oh, I've been with him. I've been with her, I've been with him, I've been with her.
Speaker 1:I said ain't nobody know what it is like to kick it with autumn, ain't nobody knows what it likes to have a conversation with autumn? I mean shit, it's just like that's the way I had to kick it to her, because to me I ain't had them type of talks, I ain't had that type of vibe with my mama, because my mama was pretty much the only one there. I mean, my godfather was there and my daddy was there, my uncles were there, but I didn't get to have those heart-to-heart conversations. So I had to learn a lot of shit on my own and like my daughter, like me and my daughter were riding and she told me some daddy play, play whammy. I said, all right, shit, whatever.
Speaker 1:So I'm listening to the lyrics and shit, I'm like shit, she over here, she over here jamming to this shit. But I'm thinking back in my prime Shit. I'm listening to trap shit. I'm listening to money making shit and the only thing I can think in my head Is this her new money making shit. But the only thing I can do is Put the ideals and goals and give her the right guidance To make her make the right decisions. But the way I kick it, it can't be like that. Everybody talking about something and give her the right guidance to make her make the right decisions, but the way I kick it, it can't be like that. Everybody talking about something, hey, you can't talk like that man.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you something my daughter tells me, hears me talk different ways in different manners. Like I tell my daughter all the time I don't yell too much, but I'm going to tell you like this hey, I asked you to go do something, go handle that. I asked you to go do something, go handle that. Now, when I raise my voice and I elevate, hey, that's when you know you done fucked up. But 90% of the time I ain't got to yell, I just got to cut my eyes and look at you a certain way, knowing that you done fucked up. Like her mama even tells oh, don't make me call your daddy. Oh, she tells the teachers don't let him call your daddy.
Speaker 1:Because of the relationship that we have with each other, because the one person that you don't want to disappoint is me, because I'm your biggest person in the fan. I'm going to be that motherfucker holding that sign. I'm going to be that motherfucker cheering you on. I'm going to be the motherfucker there when you get your lowest. I'm going to be at the. I'm going to be that motherfucker that's when you at your highest. Because, like I tell people, like I had to have a conversation with my oldest son, I said I said I'm that father that wants to see you win, no matter what it takes. I said, no matter what sacrifice it takes, takes, I'm going to be that person that wants to see you win in life. Yes, we will fall, yes, we will fumble, but yeah, I want to see you motherfucking win. I don't want to see you fail. So I'm never going to try to screw you over. I'm never going to try to goddamn shortcut you because I want to see you win.
Speaker 1:And a lot of people fail to realize that because some people be getting envious and jealous of their sons and daughters and shit like that. Man, I ain't on. None of that shit. Man, I'm trying to be at everything. I'm trying to be there when you happy. I'm trying to be there when you sad, because I know what it's like not to have somebody there in your corner when you need them or you don't need. You have somebody that you go to for guidance that one time out your life and they ain't there.
Speaker 1:Then somebody else tells you fuck that, nigga, I'm your daddy, I love you and I'll never let you down. I had somebody do that for me because from that day forth, I realized everything that he was teaching me all through life was he was teaching me because he didn't have a son of his own and viewed me as his son. But for all them years I called him daddy with no like yeah, he did this, he did that. But that day, when I was 23 years old, when he said that, when I was at my motherfucking lowest and I wanted to crash the fuck out, he told me fuck that, nigga, I'm your daddy, I love you, and I love you to the day I die. And that's what he did. He made sure I knew that shit. So that's what I pass on to my kids and my daughters.
Speaker 1:Because let me tell you something Blood don't make you family, and family don't make you blood. It's the bonds that you make with individuals that make you family, and family don't make you blood. It's the bonds that you make with individuals that make you motherfucking family. You get what I'm saying because a lot of people fail to fucking realize that and they think they're just old. Nigga, blood thicker than water. Nigga, that's a motherfucking lie. Sometimes, blood the first thing, that's fuck you over and screw you over and goddamn and and want to see you fail. Nigga, just because they blood don't mean they want to see you fail. Nigga, just because they blood don't mean they want to see you win. Just because they gave birth to you don't mean they want the best for you. But that's what I show my kids every day.
Speaker 1:Because let me tell you something, because, like I tell people all the time, jack, what's your happy place? I say when I'm having my worst days, I call my kids, I have conversations with my kids and they usually brighten my day, make my day lighter, help me know that everything that I'm doing is worth it, that I know it's worth it, that it's paying off, because they see, oh, dad, I see you grinding. I see you out here hustling. I see you out here shaking and moving. Like I told my daughter, like I just got invited to an Indycon for creators that I'll be on the platform my first ever Indycon since doing this platform and I'm gonna be one of the like one of the featured guests, and I sent that to my daughter. She said, daddy, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. You show me that, no matter what you put your mind to, as long as you're consistent and long as you have, like, the drive behind it and long as you have the support, you can get anything accomplished. As you have the support, you can get anything accomplished. I think I said thank you, baby, because when I do certain things, like man, I try to go against the grain. I mean shit like my.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna tell y'all a funny story. So my daughter called me up the other day talking about something. Daddy, I got my first death note. Bitch, what, uh, what you mean? You got your motherfucking first death note. Well, I had what you mean? You got your motherfucking first death note. Well, I had to go get my sidekick right there. Right there, as y'all can see. That's why he's sitting over there.
Speaker 1:I had to go get my sidekick and she said want some, daddy, what you doing? I said, shit, I'm trying to figure out who the fuck I'm finna fuck up. Then I sent my baby a death note. She said no, baby, no daddy, no daddy, no daddy death note is an anime. Oh you talking about that type of death note. Oh, you talking about the one we watched the other day? She said yeah, oh, I didn't put the analogy together.
Speaker 1:I thought I was gonna have to go get and see about somebody, about my baby. I'm just letting you know. But my dad, my baby, knows that that's how I feel about her because, like I, like I sent her a picture one day like spin about you. That's me and my daughter's song, that's our song. Because my daughter knows, hey, I don't play about her, I don't play about none of my kids. Hey, I pop a nigga top for you, baby girl. I spin this nigga's block for you, baby girl, because that's how my daughter knows, that I fuck with her, that I'm always going to be there Until the day I die, like my godfather.
Speaker 1:My father was Not my real father fuck that nigga but my father, my daddy, because you can be a dad. Not my real father Fuck that nigga. But my father my daddy, because you can be a dad. I'm sorry, let me break this shit down for y'all, so y'all niggas will understand. You can be a father, but not everybody can be a daddy. You get what I'm saying, because a father, can you know, can bust a nut and get your mama pregnant, or he can do that little like that turkey base of shit and get a motherfucker pregnant, but a daddy wants to see you win and wants to always see you, never wants to see you struggle and and it's disheartening because a lot of people don't understand that, can't wrap their heads around that, can't grasp that notion, because it's a lot of us didn't have those growing up.
Speaker 1:So, like, like, right shit, I'm trying to learn how to be one based off the things my daddy showed me. Jimmy showed me. Now whom? Who? Now whom Jimmy who showed me, was I the best kid? Fuck no, but I was a demon. A demon, you hear me.
Speaker 1:But he told me if you're going to do certain things and move certain ways, you got to do it the right way, because there's a right way to move and there's a wrong way to move in life, because a lot of times, like I tell people all the time, the loudest one in the room is the weakest, because, man, you can tell when certain niggas walk into rooms and certain energies walk in the room, because they shake everybody to their soul. And that's what I tell my kids all the time. You ain't got to be the loudest, you ain't got to be the one, you ain't got to be the goddamn, that nigga. But you will pop your shit when you walk in that motherfucking room. You will let niggas know nigga, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Nigga. I'm here, you hear me. And that's what I tell my kids. You will never take my light, you will never take my aura, you will never take my glow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, people try to do that to you. People try to make you feel like you're the biggest piece of shit. All this woo, woo, woo, woo. Good try, good try. But I know where my heart is, I know where my intentions were. Just because you were on some fuck shit don't mean I have to entertain that shit. You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:But a lot of motherfuckers fail to realize how shit's really supposed to work. Because I mean shit like, yeah, you can take pictures with your kids, you can show the dad his breakfasts, you can pay a little child support, but what else are you doing? Shit, my kids be having events? Hey, shit. If I can't be there, hey, facetime me so I can watch. But you at work, I don't care, I'm still going to try to goddamn watch my shit. I'm going to let my kids know that daddy is. I'm not there physically but I'm watching. I'm proud of you. I can't be there because a nigga got to work. A nigga got to eat. A nigga got to nigga gotta work. A nigga gotta eat. A nigga gotta pay bills. A nigga gotta pay that child support.
Speaker 1:But Okay, let's go ahead and break this shit down. There's more to being a father than paying a little Motherfucking child support. I'm gonna go ahead and tell y'all that that shit suck. I ain't gonna lie. That shit suck Because the way I look at child support is I can do more for my kids off of child support than on it. But once you put me on that shit to you and you ask me to do anything, that's all I'm doing. But my child, hey, baby, what you need, you need clothes, I got you. You need shoes, I got you, you need shoes, I got you. Daddy can't do a lot, but your mama get child support For you, for that's supposed to subjugate Some of that shit I can't do. I don't never want to hear you say I can't, I ain't got Bitch, you better got it. You better have it, because it's called child support, not spouse support, because this is the catch-22.
Speaker 1:When your kids come to spend time with you, like my kids, I don't get no fucking monetary compensation. I still got to have a roof over their head. I still got to be able to feed them. I still got to have a roof over their head. I still got to be able to feed them. I still got to make sure the water's on clothes, lights and all that shit, and my kids might be here two months. My kids might be here for the summer. My kids might be here for Thanksgiving. My kids might be here for the holidays. My kids might be out for goddamn Martin Luther King Day. My kids might be out for any fucking day School, fucking, resource day, whatever the fuck you want to call it. They're still here.
Speaker 1:I don't get no kickbacks, but you still getting that. So when you going to that school break and you got whatever, whatever shit, that's what you got. Oh and, by the way, y'all I'm drinking beet juice and apples shit. You got to be a man out there that know what beet juice and apples, apple juice does, and I'm about to go eat my ruby red grapefruits in a second, if you know, you know, if you know, you know. But anyway, but that's what people fail to realize, regardless of how much child support I pay.
Speaker 1:When that baby, when that daughter or son comes to you and they look at you and say, daddy, I want, I need my birthday's coming up, you better bust your ass and make sure you get them something. Something, because you gotta understand that you don't wanna be like no bum ass nigga. Because, let me tell you something, I had to go through that shit At one point in time. They painted me out to be like no bum ass nigga. Because, let me tell you something, I had to go through that shit At one point in time. They painted me out to be the worst motherfucking person in the world and they tried to say that I wasn't doing shit, I wasn't paying shit. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:Even though you were getting a chunk a month, and this didn't come from the mother's mouth, it came from my kid's mouth. Oh, you ain't never did shit for me, blah, blah. But what are you talking about? I'm paying every month, faithfully. I'm going broke some months, I'm having to work overtime just to make sure you get that and my lights don't get turned off you get before I even get. So what are you talking about?
Speaker 1:It's the fucked up notion that kids don't know it because parents don't tell it, because a lot of parents thinking that's their money, they're entitled to that. Whatever, I got to salute my mama when I was growing up Because when I did get, when my daddy would pay in child support or whatever Boy, she threw me a chunk every month. What you need some more shoes, you need some more clothes? There you go. What this for mama, that's your money. Daddy sent you. She let me know. This nigga sent me money. I'm sorry, not my daddy, my father, but that's all he was doing.
Speaker 1:But sometimes to these kids, we don't tell them behind the scenes. Do I think we should At a certain behind the scenes? Do I think we should at a certain age? Yes, I think we should, because a lot of times they're gonna think that you don't do shit and a lot of these parents ain't gonna let them know you do shit because and and I and I don't know whether that's right or wrong my opinion, that opinion that's wrong. But at a certain age you do need to inform that child that, hey, your daddy has been there for you. Your daddy made sure this happened. This happened. This happened Even though he wasn't physically in the household. He still made sure you had.
Speaker 1:And just don't try to picture the daddy out to be a bum-ass nigga, because hey, the nigga might actually be trying. Be a bum ass nigga because, hey, the nigga might actually be trying, he might not be able to see his kids as much as you want to. Because you got to understand that child support kick you in the dick. Because, like I was explaining to somebody the other day that, um, one of my partners he was talking about leaving his old lady and they got a child I said, bro, let me tell you something the hardest thing you will ever do in life is be an outside father. Because now you got to play double duty.
Speaker 1:Now the only time you're going to be able to see your kids is through facetime phone calls on weekends. Are you ready to see that? Because I said it hurts sending them back on that last day and they tell you I don't want to be with my, I don't want to go back, dad, I want to stay with you. I mean, what do you say? What do you say to your kids when they say I don't want to go back, daddy, but I want to thank with you. I mean, what do you say? What do you say to your kids when they say I don't want to go back there? But I want to thank you all for listening to four step was only we out Peace, Thank you.
