Your Thoughts Your Reality
Welcome to "Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole," the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael Cole, a Certified Elite Neuroencoding Specialist, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of Neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles: procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
Your Thoughts Your Reality
Empowering Veteran Support: Robert Casteel's Journey Through PTSD, NLP, and Post-Military Renewal
Looking for inspiration to help face the transition from military to civilian life? Tune in to hear the incredible story of Robert Casteel, a devoted Army veteran with nearly 24 years of service who has transformed his own struggles with PTSD into a mission of support for fellow veterans. Robert shares his compelling journey through trauma and recovery, highlighting how coaching and neuro-linguistic programming became pivotal in his healing. Together, we explore the profound refinement of human instinct developed in military training and its relevance to navigating life's complexities after service.
In this episode, we also delve into meaningful ways veterans can rejuvenate their spirits, from reading the Bible and enjoying uplifting music to embracing physical fitness and the solace of nature. Robert and I discuss the vital importance of addressing past traumas, the invaluable skill sets veterans bring to civilian roles, and the fulfillment found in serving others. Wrapping up, we reflect on the transformative power of thoughts in shaping reality, urging listeners to stay inspired and proactive in creating the life they desire. Join us for an insightful conversation filled with gratitude, motivation, and practical advice for veterans and their families.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello everybody. So today we have my friend back on, robert Castile. Super excited to have you here, Robert. Robert is a dedicated veteran with a passion for helping other veterans and their families navigate the complex transition from military to civilian life, especially in relationships. Navigate complex transition from military to civilian life, especially relationships. He has experience in understanding the unique challenges faced by veterans during the transition period. Again, he's a vet, he's just an amazing, amazing friend man. So, robert, why don't you just tell us a little bit more about yourself, people that have not seen you on the show yet?
Speaker 3:All right, so I served almost 24 years in the Army. You almost show, yeah, all right, so I served almost 24 years in the army and that when I got out from the army the systems were not in place to have a smooth transition into civilian life. Right, and the life is completely different in the military and it is in civilian, so that transition was very hard, so it took me time here. A lot of personal development that is not available, that you don't even think about when you're Army, so it's for myself. I'm also a life coach and a relationship coach.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a life coach and a relationship coach. Yeah, so, and that's why I focus on the transition period too, because it is and the research shows that you know that is the hard part for that transition If you don't do it right, don't get that jumpstart. So I really appreciate you know, of course, the work you do and please tell that amazing wife of yours I said hi, I will Absolutely so. Tell us a little bit more about what and again for people who haven't seen us yet, what started you down the road for coaching, if you will.
Speaker 3:So I was having some challenges with PTSD and some past traumas that I had and I did not know how to deal with them and psychiatrists at the VA just wanted to throw drugs at me. So a good friend of ours named Sarah Thompson, she got me introduced to Tony Robbins' realm and I learned how to deal with my traumas then, but not in the great detail, and started using a coach and I learned how to deal with those traumas and fast forward. I ended up with a guy named sean smith who I got my certification through and that's how I got a lot of the traumas healed was through him and through neurological programming, linguistic programming.
Speaker 2:Excellent, excellent. So what do you think brought you and again, I'm just for people that don't know, I know you, we've talked a lot, but what was the draw to really coaching specifically and helping people?
Speaker 3:The draw was I could give back, helping people draw was I could give back and I felt I did a lot of things in the military that wasn't always helpful to people and that I could give back and help people now in the way I wanted to help and to give them what they needed because I don't have the solution. Everybody has a solution inside them and I just ask questions and bring that out of them so they can start down a path.
Speaker 2:And that's the best coaching you know, not to get sidetracked here. And hi, kathy, I saw you pop up there, so you know, when someone else has that realization, it is so much different than when someone's telling them something. You know that's. That's when those results really stick. So Bravo, man. Um, kathy's back again. I love it. I love it, hey. So, um, as far as um, I know, we're talking about human instinct and and, uh, veterans and so on. So, um, if you're ready, we can go ahead and dive on in. Okay, sure, Human instinct.
Speaker 3:Think about primitive. When the cavemans first started, they survived strictly by human instinct. They wanted to live. When you're in human instinct, you're in survival, you're in reaction mode and you have threats, you have fears, you have scarcity and competition all in human instinct. So let's relate it to the military. The Army teaches us, and the Marine Corps and all of branches teach us to take that human instinct and pull it in and use it to our advantage, but not allow the anger and frustration to set in so we can use our brains still, because once the anger and frustration comes in, because once the anger and frustration comes in, your thought process gets skewed, so we pull that human instinct. Let's think about hand-to-hand combat. You're fighting somebody hand-to-hand, you want to survive, so that human instinct kicks in, but we're still using our brain to make the right moves and to defend ourselves.
Speaker 2:Right, so would you say that in my experience as well? But would you say that? A lot of that, like you said, it's just instinct, right, it's muscle memory, it's all those things that we talk about, but when we're in this realm, things just are because of training and conditioning are pretty automatic.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so a lot of it's automatic. You train so much on so many different things that when an incident happens, automatically you go to your training. The more you train when something happens, you default to that training. So if you train at a very low level, you're going to function at a low level. But if you train at a very high, efficient level, like the special forces and SEALs and them do they operate, they fall back to their training and operate in a very high, efficient manner.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so, and this is part of bringing this up and I just want to mention this is really one of the core things in neuro encoding is we do these exercises to default back to our best selves and it's literally just conditioning and reframing, if you will, neural pathways and things in the brain. So I'm glad, really glad, you bring this up. Are there some things that you teach and let's get into relationships just a little bit, and then we're going to get into spirit. When you're coaching, are you with relationships and that kind of thing? How do you work with your clients?
Speaker 2:And, of course, we can spend this to veterans and their families, if we can to kind of do that automatically. To kind of do that automatically. You know, I mean you come home and I know you know our friend Davey Loa will talk about the transition period when you get home or whatever the case may be. But what are some skills that you know you get home, you've had a shitty day, man, I just don't want to deal with anything. What are some instinctual things that we can maybe share that will bring that veteran, that first responder, human being in general, kind of back to themselves?
Speaker 3:Yes. So one of the things we focus on is what fuels your tank. If you're an energy poor, you're going to be, in human instinct, love that, yeah. So if you find something that brings you energy, ie go work out at the gym before you come home, or do listen to some upbeat music or whatever type music you like to bring that energy back up so you're not bringing the work home with you. The transition time is vital and using something to bring your energy level up is the best way to do it, and there's so many different techniques out there. You can meditate, reading, you could do acts of service.
Speaker 2:Love it, yeah, and are there some other thoughts there?
Speaker 3:yeah, you can watch inspiring videos. Uh, sometimes for to get motivation, you can watch an inspiring video yeah, like this podcast yeah, like this podcast exactly couldn't help myself, man couldn't help myself.
Speaker 2:Um, so, uh, thank you for that, and I think that's really vital information because you know how often and again, you know we're talking about veterans and their families, of course, but it's first responders who are dealing with stuff on a daily basis I mean horrible, crazy things, amazing things at the same time that deal with that. So these tips and tricks, I think, will be very valuable for them. So thank you for discussing that. As far as spirit, this was another thing that you brought up you wanted to talk about. So the concept of spirit is often associated with, you know, resilience, inner strength. How do you see spirit as a veteran evolving post-service? If you will Give me some thoughts there, so post-service is it's.
Speaker 3:That's a hard transition sometimes because we're so much in human instinct and even in society today. Look how many people are driving around and walking around in human instinct, you say something that they don't like and all of a sudden they're going off on you like that drop of a hat or road rage yeah is a prime example.
Speaker 3:Human spirit is acts of the heart. Oh so, draw yourself what, what is your heart telling you and what is it going to be for the good? Um, so, human spirit is basically an act of of of the heart. It's choice, it's enhancing life, it's little effort, it's happiness and it's partnership in the marriage or relationship that you're in.
Speaker 2:So how could you bring spirit more in instead of instinct? How can you stop yourself and really kind of switch that realm? Because I mean, if you're living in spirit more so than instinct, you're going to be more emotionally available, You're going to have better communication and all those things, which is super important, especially during that transition period as a veteran in their families. Any thoughts there?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so one of the methods we do teach is called BOP. It's breathe, open your heart and pause. If you think about when we as kids, before we got angry, or when we got angry, our parents would tell us count to 10. Yeah, and I never understood why. But if you take in a deep breath, open your heart up and see what your heart's saying to you instead of reacting from your brain, and then just pause for a second, let it sit, cause someone might say something, someone might do something and not realize that the effects it's having on you is because of the mask you're wearing, and whatever mask, whatever they just did, just tugged at that mask and by tugging that mask, it automatically pulls you almost into human instinct.
Speaker 2:Love that man. So for people that don't understand masks, can you touch base on what that means?
Speaker 3:So we call masks like a past trauma. Let's say, driving down the road you had a car and it almost hit you and all of a sudden that's a trauma to you that you were trying to cross the road and crosswalk and someone hit, almost hit you. So some people that would be traumatizing and I get that. So now every time you go to crosswalk a car comes up real quick you're jumping back and that's not, that's a mask telling you hey, react. So when someone touches a mask like that, sometimes you go on a human instinct and you get angry, you get frustrated or you you go into fear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely so. So, and there's a, there's a. I want to share something really quick and then we'll get back on track. There's an exercise that I do and I do it myself, and this is how I've learned. It is when you go around and you're putting intent as in love with people and you literally are looking at somebody like Robert, I love you, robert, I love you, and I think that to myself and I do. By the way, it's not just for the exercise, but when you walk around and you do that for people within 50 feet of you, it changes everything inside of you and it opens up your heart more and you literally feel it. So this is the thing that I learned, and I teach myself, as well as clients and so on, and we're going to teach you now.
Speaker 2:So, really quick, so road rage, and my wife I know she's rolling her eyes right now because I do this all the time Someone cuts you off or does something right, and automatically, obviously, instinct, instinct kicks in, right, you asshole, whatever the case may be, sorry, I'll keep it cleaner, but all of a sudden you're pissed off, right. And then I do this simple thing I take that deep breath, right, your pause, right, your breathe. Sorry, and it's literally. This is what reminded me of it. I literally do that no-transcript, exactly what you just talked about. That's fantastic, robert. Yeah, thanks for bringing that up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so also with spirit, that it's hard to be in human spirit If you are energy poor. Human spirit, if you are energy poor, you can be, but it's very challenging. Because you're energy poor, you don't feel like talking to nobody, you don't feel like doing something, and all of a sudden someone comes up and says something that hey, you got to redo this chart. You're at work and someone says, hey, you got to redo this chart, and you're just not it and just all of a sudden you're going off on them for no reason.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And it's like, oh, where'd that come from? So the BOP really helps a lot in that. It helps you get back into spirit or get you to spirit, and just paying attention to what fills your tank, what makes, gives you joy in the in the world yeah.
Speaker 2:So how are some ways? I bring that up and I think it's super powerful, I truly do um, what are some ways that you use to fill you, to fill your tank, um, or you suggest to your clients obviously the veterans families can use it. Because I think honestly and we'll go back to Tony Robbins, cause we're both, tony Robbins, you know people, so I, you know, I'm stacking right, the stacking exercise. You know you stack positive and negative right and then you blow up when the Jenga piece gets pulled out, the small one right At people. So how do you some thoughts on filling your tank?
Speaker 3:um, to the positive, obviously so for me, um, reading the bible, um, also for myself, is listening to music. I got a very wide range of music and it's like, okay, I don't want. I don't want to listen that song right now. It's not bringing me good, good energy. I'll fast forward through it and so listen to music Working out, that's a fantastic one, and being out in nature is definitely a way for me to refill my cup, and also serving others helps me a lot. Sometimes it's physically draining for me because with Team Rubicon, it's either cutting trees or tarping roofs or mucking out a house. Whatever the case may be, it's physically draining. However, I know the person on the other side of that will be in a better place to strive in life once we're done.
Speaker 2:I think those are all actually some of my favorites and I know my aunt popped up here with the Bible and I think that is some of the best ones you know. Obviously, spiritually, nature, get your feet on the ground, just enjoy the birds for a minute, be present, I mean those are. Those are some really great ones, robert Love it.
Speaker 3:One of the things I do is play with our dog. Love that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, play with our dog. Yeah, fill in their cup too. Oh yeah, Because gosh knows they love it. What advice would you give veterans who struggle to reconcile their instinctual behaviors with the need for adaptability in civilian settings?
Speaker 3:So the biggest thing is veterans won't do is talk about their problems. They won't talk about their traumas. In order to move past it. Then you've got to move through it and you've got to go back and look at the trauma and look at it from a different perspective. With Warriors and Queens we call it change your perspective and we can do an exercise and take some through it and they look at it from a different perspective with the knowledge they have now and what happened back then. And another thing is, if you're holding on to a past trauma let's say your buddy got killed in Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever the case may be and you want to honor that person, you're mad constantly because they got killed and you couldn't save them. How are you honoring that individual by constantly being angry?
Speaker 2:Is that how they would want you to live? Yeah, I absolutely love that. A friend of mine who's been on the show a couple of times as well, danny O'Neill he lost 23 total in service and suicide. He wears their dog tags with all their names on it and he's he's phenomenal. Love the guy and he literally um, that's the way he lives. Is how am I going to honor them? You know, um, so that's, that's very cool. You bring that up. I, I think it's super important to to do that. Yeah, yeah, um, so, so, understanding, how am I going to say this? Understanding and um understanding instinct? Uh, in the real world. Okay, so you're like you said, you're at work, someone asked you to do something. Um, you know, people snap right, especially in today's world.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of help that's needed out there with emotions and mindset. So, on a different perspective from the business side of it, for the business owners out there and the leaders on that realm, corporate world, et cetera, what are some tools or tricks that you conditioning, if you will, on those tools, because just telling somebody a tool doesn't work. It has to be practiced right right before it really sets in. What are some thoughts on how they can help the veterans and their families, et cetera?
Speaker 3:first, yes, and listen to what they're saying Don't make it about you as the leader, make it about the employees, because the more you listen to the employees, yeah, you ultimately have to make the final decision on things. Yeah, you ultimately have to make the final decision on things. However, if you make it where the employees have intent or intend to do something, then they have buy-in and they want to build the company up. They're just not there for a paycheck. And the same way with veterans we sometimes we get out of the army. I started out at twenty nine thousand dollars a year when I got out of the army and, fortunate enough, I went to work for a school that had a military military setup for it and they understood that hey look, yeah, you got ideas and we know your background, so they would listen.
Speaker 3:Veterans have a wide range of information. You know it's, let's say, an infantryman. Yeah, that infantryman was taught how to fight a battle, but that's not the only job he did while he was in the Army. He might have been down in the motor pool working on vehicles all day long, or wherever the case may be. So there's a wide range of experiences that veterans have.
Speaker 2:I love that you bring that up, and it's not only what they did physically right and learned and mastered. Even, I'll even say, depending on how long you're in and how serious they were about it. But let's talk and I know we're totally changing subject, but you know it's organic conversation. This is what we do, robert. So the thing I think that's as important as that, or even more so, and a lot of veterans don't really realize this is something I work a lot with. They don't realize that skill sets with leadership, grit, tenacity, all of these things that they really were conditioned and trained that they can use for their own businesses, working for other people. That I mean.
Speaker 2:If you have an employee that will figure things out on their own, let's just start there, right. An employee that will figure things out on their own, let's just start there, right. An employee that will figure things out on their own, how valuable is that? And that is conditioned in the military. I don't care what service you're in, it's one of their core values of you know figure it out, good or bad at the time it's there. So speak about that a little bit, if you will, some of the things that you learned and that you use every day because they're so invaluable. And again, a lot of veterans don't realize they're even in there until they're they're brought out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so with the, basically the American soldiers or service members are taught to think outside the box Absolutely, and in many cases that's why a lot of people don't like fighting us because we don't, you can't put us in a box. It's like as soon as something happens, like, oh well, let's do this. So we have those skill sets of thinking outside the box and we can get laser focused on things. However, we also have a very wide range of thinking outside the box and coming up with solutions. That might seem kind of off the wall at the time, but until you try it, it might work wall at the time, but until you try it it might work Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And, and you know, in civilian life okay, human life, I'm not going to say civilian life but use it as much as you can. The more that you fail, the more you win. Because as long as you learn from it and don't just point fingers and blame somebody else or whatever the case may be, how much further, faster will that really get you when you really take the time and say, man, I screwed that up, what can I learn from it, and how much better will I be the next time I try to do it Right? That's, that's really the, the, the, the game changer, would you say as well.
Speaker 3:Exactly. You know one of the things. I and I told my daughter this when she was probably 12, 13,. I said go out and fail. And I got berated in Starbucks by a lady that heard me. I said go out and fail as many times as you can. I said you don't fail until you stop getting up.
Speaker 2:Amen.
Speaker 3:And I got berated by a lady in Starbucks. Why are you going to tell your daughter girl and fell? I was like because that's the way you learn. The failure is what don't work is not a failure. It's something that didn't work. Let's find something else. Let's just tweak something and move another two millimeters forward.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people hear me say about two millimeters all the time. I'm not going to do it again. That ship can't have to the ship. Guys, when you change two millimeters, you change the boat, the steering wheel, whatever the case may be. Two millimeters, what's that look like? Five days from then, five years from then, you're in a totally different place. Just make those small, small changes. And, rob, I'm going to say something I would love to see that lady in Starbucks daughter compared to your daughter in 20 years.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you.
Speaker 2:By that, by that learning you know she's, she's an amazing young woman already. I know that. But, um, just when people they don't see that big picture and they're they're so closed-minded and I hope, I hope she took that from you and actually learned.
Speaker 2:Um, I hope she learned from that experience, so, um, so we're getting pretty close to the end here, um, so a couple quick things. First, I want to remind everybody, because I didn't do it in the beginning of the show on the top right-hand corner there's a blue QR code. Please scan that. It takes you to empowerperformancestrategiescom. For people that are listening on the podcast forums later, again, that's empowerperformancestrategiescom. There are books I've written. There are Facebook groups for both veterans and their families. Get involved in the community, be involved and join us. With that said, robert, how do people reach out?
Speaker 3:to you. So you can reach me via email at robert at msmcoachingcom. If you're looking more into the relationship realm, you want to figure out how to work on your relationship and make it better, you can go to warriors and queenscom.
Speaker 2:Awesome, um, that's fantastic. So, uh, as you know, cause you've been on here multiple times now, you and your wife, so if you can give us three tips to get veterans further faster, so take a moment and breathe, open your heart and pause.
Speaker 3:Everything that is done by somebody's reaction or actions is not directed to do you harm, and enjoy life. It's meant to be fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, our brains get in the way too often with survival mode. Our brains are designed for survival. We go back to the caveman days that you started off with so fantastic tips, tips, my friend, anything else you have before we go no, it's amazing.
Speaker 3:I thank you for having me on again. We'll have to do this again sometime.
Speaker 2:See in like two weeks we got to get that beautiful wife yours on here as well. So, yeah, absolutely, you guys are amazing when you're on together as well. I, I, I enjoy all the time, but I do enjoy that very much, um, so I just want to close out here, guys, um, and thank you um our listeners, um time, most valuable resource we have as human beings. We do not get it back and, robert, I want to. I want to thank you again for being on the show and spending the time with us, my friend.
Speaker 3:Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, man. We'll see you in two weeks or something. All right, we'll talk.
Speaker 1:All right, everybody we're out of here. Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole. We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you. To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom. Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count. Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire. Catch you on the next episode.