Your Thoughts Your Reality
Welcome to "Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole," the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael Cole, a Certified Elite Neuroencoding Specialist, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of Neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles: procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
Your Thoughts Your Reality
Empowering Resilient Growth: Evely Raudmet's Journey from Engineering to Neuroencoding and Transforming Veteran Lives through Self-Mastery and Identity Shift
Unlock the secrets of self-mastery with Michael Cole and our esteemed guest, Evely Raudmets, a peak performance specialist and elite Neuroencoding coach. Evely's journey from engineering to transforming lives is not just fascinating but a testament to her relentless pursuit of understanding the "human machine." Discover how her personal battles with trauma and suppressed emotions have propelled her to empower others, especially veterans and their families, to achieve significant personal growth. Evely's story is a compelling exploration of how practical strategies can spark meaningful change, offering listeners a unique perspective on overcoming life's challenges through applied principles and trust in the transformative process.
Explore the fascinating concept of identity shift in this conversation, a key to building resilience and mastering one's mindset. Evely guides us through the art of adopting a growth mindset, which is crucial for navigating life's unpredictable hurdles, from everyday annoyances to profound personal transformations. Learn how observing and regulating your thoughts can help reshape your identity, allowing you to move beyond limiting beliefs. With compelling examples, including the journey of a veteran redefining his conditioned identity, Evely demonstrates the power of conscious choice and the importance of embracing discomfort in personal growth. Join us for an insightful discussion that promises inspiration and practical advice for anyone on a journey of transformation.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello everybody. So today we have a good, dear friend of my wife and I, emily Rademitz. She's a peak performance specialist, elite neuroencoding coach, empowering individuals to master their mindset and achieve personal excellence. She's an experienced speaker. I've seen her speak. She's fantastic. She works with tech leaders and professionals, guiding them through transformative journeys of self-mastery. She comes from a family of military veterans If anybody can go back and see our first episode together. She shares some absolutely amazing stories and it was absolutely beautiful and with expertise in creating meaningful change, eveli combines neuroscience and actionable strategies to help people overcome challenges and achieve their goals. So, eveli, we're pivoting today, but we're making it happen and I'm so happy that we're doing that. So, eveli, the people that don't know you yet, please tell a little bit more about yourself.
Speaker 3:Thank you, michael. First of all, thank you, I love the pivoting and I thank you for your patience. I just ran out of a client meeting and I miscalculated by an hour, so thank you, thank you, and yes, everyone listening, I'm here the third time, second time and losing track. Everyone listening, I'm here. Is it the third time? Second time I'm losing track. Third, I think right, yeah, and I should put it so well.
Speaker 3:My family has a background in service and military, my dad and my grandfather being a veteran himself, and that I shared in the first episode. But today I've been able to coach now a few clients of mine who have a service background. One is in like secret forces, special ops in the military, and one is, like we could call it, swat, with a little background in secret service as well. Seen a lot done a lot, has quite a lot to move forward and away from, and I've been working with them for over a year now. So today my goal is to share what I've gathered, what I've seen work with them, for them to create that lasting change and to step up to the next level. So my aim is to bring practical value as much as I can.
Speaker 2:Oh, you'll bring it, I know Fantastic. So before we get started everybody, I just want to remind you. On the top right corner of the screen there's a blue QR code. Scan that QR code. It takes you to empowerperformancestrategiescom Again for people listening later on on the podcast forums, empowerperformancestrategiescom, there are free e-books for resources for you guys, for both veterans and their families. There's also Facebook groups, again for veterans, another one for their families. Become part of our group. You know, let's move the mission forward and just be involved in this, so please check that out. With that said, emily, you ready to get started?
Speaker 3:Oh yes.
Speaker 2:All right, fantastic. So you know. Your journey into coaching and transformation began somewhere. I want to you know people that don't know you yet. Let's just touch base on that Kind of what brought you into this world of helping others and bringing fulfillment.
Speaker 3:Well, it started with my curiosity to understand things, how things work. So machines firstly. So I became an engineer. Not only that, well, you kind of become a problem solver and you want to know how things work because you have a lot to work through, and that was my childhood. We were born on this planet earth. We all go through some trauma one way or the other. So when I was a bit older, maybe in my 20s, I started to realize maybe it wasn't quite okay what I went through and there had been emotions suppressed and my body started showing illness and like sleep issues and a lot of things, and awareness became the first step. So from there I got curious. As I mastered machines and programming robots, I become curious about the next machine and I call the human machine.
Speaker 3:How do we work, how our thoughts create our reality, and from there are emotions and the actions and everything. So the more I learned, the more I started applying. That's where the change came, because first, like you many have heard of think, just think positively, just think positively. I was like yeah, yeah, yeah. But as you go along, that stuff really works. Our thoughts do create our reality. And, uh, it became better.
Speaker 3:Then it dropped into worse again, the more I learned and you know it's a bumpy ride, it's a messy that that getting back to back to maybe yourself, back to who you really are, who you want to be. And, uh, I've just seen so much suffering in my life, so much violence as well from a little girl. I've seen many people die as well, some accidentally, some from their poor choices over time, and one thing I thought, like I would well, I felt this calling to help end the suffering, and I'm a product of what I've learned and I'm interested in practical things that work, that actually get you the result. And it's really tough at first. You, you, you have to kind of trust when maybe your whole life you've been taught not to trust, like by other people. Right, you have to trust the process and you don't really see the results, and then you start hesitating will they really last? And so my message maybe is, uh, to share all that, yeah yeah, absolutely so.
Speaker 2:You know a lot of people, don't, you know? Think that you know you go to a tony robbins seminar. I'm not throwing shade on tony robbins, I love him, you know. Just, everything changes, you know, when you're coaching with somebody. You're going through the work, you're learning the skills, but you have to do the work. That's the courageous part, because it's not easy. You know it's not easy and, like you, you know I've done work, I'll continue to work the rest of my life on things you know. And it's really courageous when you take that minute and or that, when you find that minute that you say enough and create that leverage and actually move forward. So I love you.
Speaker 3:I want to bounce from that for a moment, can I Just like you said? Yeah, like, the human machine is so wise that whatever got you here, you stayed alive and if like, distrusting, keeping you safe by pushing people away, whatever that kept you alive. So now you get to like you. You choose the heart to prove your brain wrong. That's the only way you prove that your thoughts so far may be deceiving you kind of. But yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely and I agree 100%. You know a lot of veterans in their family space. You make challenges, especially during the reintegration period to civilian life. You know how can self-mastery and let's talk about that first. You know what is self-mastery, so people kind of understand from you know point of view, um, and you're encoding help them navigate these periods. So what is self-mastery?
Speaker 3:let's start there self-mastery is like let's start at a high level. If you want to change the world, start with yourself, right? But no one teaches us exactly that. It's our thinking that creates the emotions which then create the actions, which create your reality. So when someone's navigating back to my, for me self-mastery is to put it in layman's terms. To try to simplify, it is to come to the present moment first you. You check in with yourself. How am I feeling? If I'm feeling anxious, worried, angry, to acknowledge that it's my thoughts creating that emotions. And sometimes the thoughts can go so fast you don't catch them. But the first I don't have to sit with that emotion for too long, because emotions last for 90 seconds. Then you can move past it. But what gets us stuck first is awareness. Let me explain this okay.
Speaker 3:We have a thought in our mind. It's the brain. Then, if someone has heard about the vagus nerve, it's this big ass nerve going basically back down to our ass. That kind of is connected to our gut. That's our second brain. So whenever I a thought let's say I see a blue car my eyes take it in. That triggers a thought process. Blue car Maybe have some association with the car, but the blue car, information. That thought goes down to my stomach. If I love blue cars, my gut will start producing happy hormones, good childhood memories, blah, blah, blah. If it's a trigger with trauma the blue car, something happened, someone got hit, I saw something the signal, the thought in my brain goes down the gut, down the vagus nerve, to my gut, says cortisol, stress, hormones, threat. We could end it there.
Speaker 3:But it's the body that creates the emotion from that gut feeling. Now the gut sends a signal back through the vagus nerve to the brain saying yeah, the emotion's ready, the cocktail is ready in the body, that shit's real right now. You are going to panic, now this is going to happen. And the brain takes it in. Oh no, the body's saying this is true and start generating more thoughts, right, and then we get stuck. Then it's the two way feedback and we're stuck, that's, we're stuck in an emotion and we believe it because the cocktail is real, the biochemistry is real, the feeling is never wrong. What we, as self masters, could and should know is we can change that feeling. As self-masters could and should know is we can change that feeling. We don't have to accept because this is a machine we get to run. We're in charge of this vehicle we use on this earth. But to change it, when the emotion starts in the body, you change it through the body the most easily, changing your body's position and such that's self-mastery.
Speaker 2:Then you get better thoughts and, but it's incremental, so let's let's talk about how to, how to catch yourself and change it. Give us some thoughts on okay, you know, I call it, you know you're in the spin cycle, you're, you know you're, you're just spinning right. How do you stop, how do you get yourself out of it? Give me some. Give me some thoughts on what you do.
Speaker 3:As I said, first is awareness. Take inventory first, let's say you, you take a week First. You decide this is what I want. I want to be in charge of myself. I believe I can. Let me prove myself that I can. You take a week.
Speaker 3:You map out the emotions you feel during that week, let's say the negative ones. Then you choose anxiety, panic attacks, fear, anger. Map those out so you recognize them and then every time you catch yourself becoming angry, let's say, or anxious, you name the emotion. Ah, I'm feeling angry, I am not anger, I'm not angry, I'm feeling angry. You say that when you voice it, you create distance, you become aware, and then you freaking, praise yourself, you anchor that right Because doing this, as we know, ah, that felt good.
Speaker 3:But what was prior to it? You started doing the work on yourself. Okay, I caught myself in anger. I caught it. That's first step. Those are the bunch of emotions. I'm starting to catch them in the moment.
Speaker 3:When you start catching them in the moment, then you can choose Okay, I identified it, and then you're persistent like no, but I want to feel the anger, because this gives me power. I want to stay in it, like you're, maybe stubborn as well, but at one point you will start like no, I don't choose this, I want to feel. What do you want to feel? I want to feel in control. I want to feel good. I want to feel relaxed. What do you do? You jump, jump up suddenly, you change your body position suddenly and, like studies in university show, it's the power poses right, the superman pose, or the hands up, or you enhance testosterone, but it also lowers your cortisol, and that's what you do. And again, once you've done it, you freaking praise yourself and those little things. You prove to yourself you have nothing to lose, only to gain by trying. That is really, really powerful.
Speaker 2:Fantastic and you said some fantastic things. I really want the audience to hear this. It's a choice, you're choosing. You literally are choosing. I literally had a conversation with somebody yesterday about this. You are making the choice, you are in charge. That's where the power is so I love that you brought that up.
Speaker 2:And the second thing, of course, that celebration, smiling, and the more you celebrate and you smile, it releases all those good hormones and your brain is looking for it more. It is such a powerful tool, you know, with neuro encoding there are so many things that are just based on that to rewire your brain, strengthen the neural pathways, all of those things, and it's it's so powerful, it's so damn simple, right, but it's so powerful. So thank you for bringing that stuff up. But great, yeah, tips and tools there. So, um, recognizing, choice, celebrate, I I mean fantastic. So thank you. Thank you again for that. So let's we kind of touched base on neurocoding, then and that question as well so we covered both.
Speaker 2:I want to talk about mindset and overcoming challenges and building a resilient future. So, really, hey, I'm working the tool that you just talked about, right? So how are we building a resilient future? What are some steps and thoughts on doing that?
Speaker 2:And by resilient you mean could you specify Able to just push through things? And you know, life be life, right, let's, just let's. I probably say this 15 times a day to people, but life be lifin'. It always is still happening, it doesn't stop. I don't care if you're positive, negative, where you are in life, you get a flat tire. You know good and bad, right, you get a flat tire. You get a raise, you you know. You know.
Speaker 1:Whatever the case, may be, you got an argument with your spouse or boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever.
Speaker 2:But how do you build some of that resiliency?
Speaker 3:gotcha, gotcha, and that's exactly what I mean self-mastery will come into. That is exactly life will be happening, events will be occurring that you don't expect sad and bad things that will happen, but it's your ability to center back to your core who you've chosen to be. And now your question being how. I just had a call with some neuroscientists from south africa and that man neuroscientist said we can take physiology, everything, like you have traumas, whatever head traumas as well physical, but it's the mindset. The mindset is everything that will help you get back on track and to build a growth mindset, a resilient mindset. I think it all begins again by the from the understanding that it's you making the choice and whoever is in hesitation.
Speaker 3:One key thing that will help is who is the one observing you thinking, because you're not your thoughts. Let's start there. There's someone, something in you that is observing the thoughts. That must mean that it's I'm just going to call it a vehicle that you can take charge of, that you can run, but you've never been taught to operate it, so it only makes sense like okay, now you can take it. This is my new car here. I don't know where the gas pedal is and it's like a gear shift. It's not a, it's a manual like, and there are mirrors, of course, because I'm driving one, of course. So, and it's difficult and you're going to like the road is bumpy and you're like you don't you know at first. But that's the same thing applies here and I'm speaking from experience.
Speaker 3:When I woke up to this and I mean woke up to this that I can be in charge, I started noticing I don't have to be such a bitch, sometimes kind of, or so moody, or I can actually choose how I show up. And as I started practicing, rehearsing this, how I show up, I started noticing I feel better, my events in life start appearing to work out more for me. So, when the question is that, whoever is watching this, wherever they are, what would be the practical things to get about? It is, first, you're not your thoughts, you're the observer. Your thoughts lie to you, right? Your thoughts do create your reality. If you believe them, get them out of you, write them out of you, start taking inventory.
Speaker 3:But I fall back to the modeling imagine and envision. 50 plus of your brain is focused on vision. That's why visualization works. What do you want when you actually can create the person you want to be, envision that person. Envision like michael wall two, michael wall three, what's? What's the next level of you would look like if you move past all of this. You can move past all of this.
Speaker 3:Your past doesn't define your future, right right and it's it's you're learning to regulate your nervous system again, and I do understand that veterans especially have a tougher starting point. But I do believe, like you've been given as much as you can carry and build for a bigger purpose by pulling the slingshot further than releasing it to fly further. So it's the little things, like Michael said, the little things like the praise, and it seems silly, but the point of it is when we throw big change on you, your brain will resist. You may believe the big scientific stuff, but it's you know you'll be in overwhelm and you won't get there. So you can just casually and that and that's the wow of it is casually praise yourself, casually, catch yourself, casually, choose what do you want and follow that question. That question is a guiding question for me In any moment, when I catch my anger, catch my worry, anxiety. What do I want? Always?
Speaker 2:And I love that you're saying that and you know a lot of people, especially in the beginning of if they've never worked and went to tony robbins or worked on any of these things, you know they have to have faith and the courage to step forward and it's really creating that leverage on. I've had enough of this and I want to move forward with it. Right. So can we talk a little bit about about identity, because I think it really plays into all of this. So a lot of people they they have an identity that they're comfortable with. Right, because you have to get uncomfortable, to get comfortable in the new realm or a new, new thought process, the new you, if you will. People get stuck a lot. I find this, especially veterans. They're conditioned a certain way. Don't ask for help, you know all of these things.
Speaker 2:So give me some thoughts on identity and making that identity shift. You know what? And it's not just veterans, right? I'm allowed to dream about the life I have. Yeah, a lot of people don't know what they want, right, they give you everything they don't want. We know Exactly. Exactly so give us some thoughts on identity, identity and identity shift.
Speaker 3:I have an excellent example. I was just talking to that same client who was in the in Swedish secret ops service in the military. The guy is 57 years old right now and I started working with him last year in September and no, not last year, year before 2023 in September, and he just we had a call a few weeks back and he said Emily, remember that second coaching session? I told you I will never use that word that I've always been using about myself. I will. I promised you with integrity, I will never say that about myself. I said yeah, I made you promise that, he said. And he said you know, and the world was shit magnet. He said anything bad that can happen. He had so many wounds, like gallbladder taken out, like liver damage, he had all kinds of stuff, and he's like I'm a shit magnet and I was like, if you want this coaching to continue, you have to make me a promise. This is the world you will not identify as ever again, yes, being a man of integrity, he promised me. So he called me. Do you know what? In all honesty, I haven't been using it for like now calculate an over a year, year and a half and it's like it seems to me I'm a luck magnet. Now I'm like right and everywhere I go, things just work out. I'm like that's a practical example it works is because what is hypnosis? We hypnotize ourselves with the words and stories we tell ourselves. That is a representation of our thoughts creating our reality. So if I identify as like a shit magnet, you know, I kind of start inviting it in scientific proof. We have the rather reticular activating system in the back of our brain, which is like a flower bouquet of like, connected to all our senses. It it filters out, it's a brain's filter. It filters out noise, images. We see pictures like all the year's eyes are connected and, um, if that didn't exist in our brain we would be dead because too much sensory input would come in. But you program that reticular activating system, yeah, subconsciously, with things and events that happen in your life, but also the stories and meanings you assign. Now this is your power.
Speaker 3:When he stopped saying shit magnet and started like just being neutral for a while, forgot the word and then started I'm a luck magnet, I'm lucky he programmed that filter to notice more of the opportunities that surround him. Let's say he was literally always in conflict with people, had major anger issues. That's the reason for coaching Pushed people away from him, was really lonely. Now he's joined the motorcycle club, goes traveling, interacts, has his guys a bunch of guys he's interacting with. His relationship with his kids is excellent with his wife and he doesn't get pissed because he stopped saying that word and he started letting in.
Speaker 3:But what it that meant? He became kinder towards himself, more accepting that, leaned into trusting people again. So you see everything's intertwined and identity is what we tell us about ourselves. So how do you identify? What are the words and stories you think you are? That's the exercise, right? Take a piece of paper, just start writing who is Michael, michael is, and you write down and then you see which words like shit magnet, for instance, for that guy. That's not really working. For my benefit, maybe I just won't use it for a while and see what happens.
Speaker 2:Fantastic, Absolutely Fantastic and and you know it's it's absolutely amazing how your, your energy changes when your identity shifts and the people, even more so, the people that start being attracted to you. And it's science, it's not woo-woo unicorns and rainbows, it's science.
Speaker 3:It's the newer hormones.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So thank you for sharing that, and I know we shouldn't say it, but I really love just the term shit magnet. I think there should be like a bumper sticker. I don't know, but fantastic, absolutely fantastic. Thank you for that.
Speaker 2:And I want to add something really quick. You know, when we're dealing with life right and we're stacking negative emotions and if we're not using the positive things in life and focusing on the positive things, guess what happens? These just keep going and explosions happen. But if we can not using the positive things in life and focusing on the positive things, that's what happens these just keep going and explosions happen. But if we can level off and hey, dare I say, even push down so many negative thoughts, the reactions to something negative like the flat tire, you may literally you may giggle about it, fix it and move on with your day instead of it ruining your day, your week, your month and everybody else's around you. So those things that you know Emily's just brought up, stop saying I'm a shit magnet I really do love that. Stop saying I'm a rock star. You know, celebrate yourself, because you know we look at people. I'm going to do this very, very quickly, but we look at people that come from similar backgrounds or the same background, same family, and you see people that go.
Speaker 2:I talk about this a lot in my training. You see people that go from a horrible life. You know horrible childhood, all that stuff abuse, drug abuse in the family, whatever the case may be, domestic violence, it could be anything, poverty, whatever you want to call it, the definitions we give them really changes that outcome and literally you see the person that goes and ends up you know drug addict, committing suicide, whatever the case may be and you see the other person thrive and, absolutely, you know, have an amazing fulfilling life and success for whatever that means to them. So really think about those thoughts, because the belief system is created, like everybody was talking about earlier, on your thoughts and it impacts your entire life and, again, the ripple effect, everybody around you. So would you like to talk just a little bit more about that before we only got a couple minutes left, if that's okay. So would you like to talk?
Speaker 3:just a little bit more about that before. We only got a couple minutes left, if that's okay. Yeah, I want to emphasize where we may get the impression that it's not our thoughts is like the brain can think 50, 60, 100 conscious thoughts per minute, but subconsciously 11 million thoughts may run past you and you don't even catch them. And then the emotions there and you think like but the emotion is real. So what are you even talking about? The thoughts? No, but then it's the subconscious thoughts you don't catch, but the wiring, like.
Speaker 3:We may be different backgrounds, veterans like I'm, a mom, whatever, like someone's, like a kid, but we all have the same nervous system. We function the same as humans. So when everything boils down to your nervous system getting out of whack and interacting, the gut brain axis is acting the way it is. You can change that. You don't have to accept it. It's your choice. As Michael said, it is always your choice and it's fine that I didn't become aware it was my choice in my late 30s either. It was then. But best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. Next best time is now. You can, you're here, you can, and for that, for being here, listening to this, doing this for yourself, pat, pat, pat, praise yourself, yeah.
Speaker 2:Fantastic, absolutely fantastic. So thank you, and you know, I have to tell, tell you I believe you're one of my favorite guests. I mean, you're amazing as a person, period. All right, you have an amazing life, you just are, um, but having an engineer turned coach the scientific part, all of the you know it just makes it so much better. So thank you, thank you for being who you are. You damn rock star. Thank you as well, absolutely.
Speaker 3:With that said, how do people reach out to you, evelyn? Find me on social media or my webpage, evalieroutmatchcom, or just evalieroutmatch, on social, so LinkedIn, everywhere I'm there.
Speaker 2:Fantastic, and you know I'm going to do this to you. Three tips to get veterans and their families further faster.
Speaker 3:Praise yourself whenever you remember to Whatever you're doing, because every doing is leading to the next step. Praise yourself, be kind to yourself, especially men. They're so hard on themselves, like just you know. Say some kind word to yourself, even if it's tough, and don't accept being alone. There are your people out there. Just keep moving and you'll find them.
Speaker 2:Find your tribe. Amen, I love it, absolutely. Love it, absolutely love it. Great tips um evilly. Thank you again for being on. Time was the most precious resource we have and, as human beings, we don't get it back. Thank you for spending some time um pivoting making this happen, but thank you for spending some of your life with us again and giving us some amazing tips and thoughts Absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 3:Thank you. Thank you for inviting me.
Speaker 2:You're always invited, Always. So again, thank you everybody. Thank you, Emily, and we're out of here. Bye everybody.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole. We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you. To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom. Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count. Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire. Catch you on the next episode.