Your Thoughts Your Reality
Welcome to "Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole," the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael Cole, a Certified Elite Neuroencoding Specialist, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of Neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles: procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
Your Thoughts Your Reality
Empowering Inner Peace: Annette Ramrattan's Journey from Corporate Masks to Transforming Mental Health through Vulnerability and Self-Awareness
Imagine feeling alone in a room full of people, every smile a facade covering anxiety and panic lurking beneath the surface. Join me, Michael Cole, as I sit down with Annette Ramrattan, a renowned neuro-encoding specialist, who shares her deeply moving journey from corporate composure to internal chaos. Together, we unravel the universal struggle of wearing masks to conceal self-doubt and fear, and Annette's personal story serves as a powerful reminder that these internal battles are more common than we realize. Through heartfelt conversations, we aim to shed light on how feelings of isolation can permeate even the busiest environments, and how courageously facing these challenges can lead to personal breakthroughs.
You’ll gain insights into strategies for escaping the grip of anxiety and panic through personal development and self-awareness. We discuss transformative encounters with influential figures and the importance of vulnerability in understanding one's fears and past traumas. Annette offers practical tips—like practicing gratitude and setting attainable goals—that can be pivotal in your journey toward mental well-being. As we gear up for our milestone 100th episode celebration, we invite you to embrace community support and help shift the societal view of mental health, recognizing it with the compassion it deserves, much like physical health.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello everybody. So I have one of my dear friends, annette. I'm ranting on again today. You know, Annette, I had tech issues before because I didn't do something right. We pivoted. We're back here today. I'm super happy to have you on, so thank you for coming back on. Annette is a certified elite neuro-encoding specialist and brain health trainer based in New York area. She is the founder of Passionately Living LLC, offering transformative coaching programs for personal and professional growth, which is actually fantastic. With focus on corporate professionals, individuals struggling with identity loss. Annette helps clients rediscover their true potential, and identity loss is a real thing. We'll dive into that a little bit today. Annette specializes in guiding people to break free from isolation, fostering a path toward illumination and personal fulfillment Amen. So, annette, if you can just tell us just a little bit more about yourself for people that don't know you yet, Well, thank you for having me on today, michael, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3:And I am, as you said, annette Remratten, identity Illuminator Actually I go by that little title there and working as a corporate professional and you know, being from a big city, many of us have that image of you know having it all together Wall Street, the suits, the, you know, even the posture, and you think, like they have, you know those people have, there's nothing wrong with them, they're fine, they have a great career. And it's something where I did that on the surface, I dressed apart, spoke the part, took those actions in my career, but I had the internal turmoil, internal enemy of anxiety, depression and panic attacks, and that's what brought me to the path of personal development. And here we are today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's fantastic. Thank you for being vulnerable and telling your story. Obviously and you know, the funny thing in that I think you'll agree with this is, from my experience veterans, civilians, whatever the case may be most of us deal with these things right. The masks that we wear, that everybody's like, oh they're great, they're fine. But inside, masks that we wear, that everybody's like, oh, they're great, they're fine. But inside, there's always, you know, battles as human beings until you learn to the tricks, tools and so on to deal with those things. So I'm excited about, you know, today's conversation. I really go, would you say from your experience, most people I'd even go with 99% of people feel some of that.
Speaker 3:Yes, I would Many. Look, I think, dr Eamon, dr Daniel Eamon, which is my mentor in this. He says what is it? There's normal. Illinois, right? So that's just a name of a town. Illinois, right, so that's just a name of a town. But most people who are dealing with different issues challenges mental health. It's more normal than we think, more normal than we know. So, having these challenges people we come across and hearing those conversations and being vulnerable, you actually understand that it's more normal than we're aware of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and you know, take that in everybody, because it's more normal than you think. So you're not alone. Let's, let's start there. We're talking about isolation, right, let's just start there. So, annette, can you kind of share, first of all, what do you call isolation or what do you consider isolation? And then, number two, can you give us a moment in your life, for instance, where you felt isolated, and maybe how you broke through?
Speaker 3:Well, for isolation it could be anything. You can be in a room full of people and just feel like, again, you're alone in the challenges that you're having. You're alone in feeling lost. You're alone in in, uh, feeling like an imposter. You're alone with that internal turmoil. You're alone with not wanting to share that you just had a panic attack. You're alone with not wanting to share that you're having a panic attack in that moment. You're alone in knowing that inside I was screaming like I'm not okay, I'm not okay. So that's isolation to me, being experiencing isolation.
Speaker 3:Then my personal experience was was exactly that, where I would show up for work and I would get those feelings and I would have to excuse myself and go to the restroom or I would get through the day as best as possible and then cry myself to sleep. It was where it got to the point where the panic attacks were more frequent. So I became afraid to leave my home because I didn't want it to happen again If I was standing in line, if I was taking the train, and it was something where I almost became a hermit, where I took a leap of absence from work and I took a leap of absence from school because I was going for my accounting degree at that time. So it got to that point where I was very isolated Not that I didn't have family and friends that would come and check on me and things like that, but it was like I was very isolated in what I was going through because no one else that I knew close to me was going through the same.
Speaker 2:Or at least they weren't admitting True, at least they weren't saying, hey, I'm going through this, you know, kind of thing. And so let's talk about illumination by the way, I absolutely love that word. So what helped you come out of that? What was the breakthrough, the leverage you got against yourself, if you will, that you're able to use? What kind of broke the pattern? You said, like we do most people, we don't break our patterns until it's I've had enough, that's it. You don't leave that bad relationship, you don't leave that job, you don't, you know, to change your life, and that's when the most amazing, dramatic changes happen in our lives generally. So what was it for you, if you don't mind me asking, For me it was that breaking point where the anxiety.
Speaker 3:For years I was like, okay, this is just a thing. Right, there's anxiety. Sometimes you confuse it with excitement, but either way, it was just a thing. Okay, cool.
Speaker 3:Panic attacks started happening when I was on the train, so I would have to commute into New York City and I would just have these episodes, I call them, and either I would continue going to work or I would go home, but either way, panic attacks, fine, it was something. Again I went to my doctor and said, hey, this again, back then it wasn't as mainstream or you didn't hear about it much before the conversations of mental health, anxiety, panic attacks. So going to my medical doctor, she would, she, she didn't. I didn't know what to call it. So I didn't know to say, hey, I had a panic attack. I just said something happened, my heart wanted to come out, my chest Can't breathe. I would get to the point because now I know what I knowing what I know. Now it was because I wasn't breathing correctly. So the panic attacks would, I would blackout, I would literally lose my sight. Not long, but I would lose my sight. So I remember being on the New York transit holding onto the pole, full panic attacks happening, and I lost my sight. So I just blurted out and I said can someone help me? I don't feel well. So someone grabbed my arm and helped me take a seat and then I decided to get off the next station and you know it was something where, again, it depends on the person. So I'm like this like I can, I can do this on my own. I could fix this, nothing's wrong. And, speaking to my medical doctor, I would tell her about what was happening and she didn't give it a label. She would just say I'm going to check you out and with those with this blood work, whatever it would be, everything came back normal.
Speaker 3:I had no answers In a span of 10 years, and the reason I'm saying this is because it was a decade of my life where I had no answers In a span of 10 years, and the reason I'm saying this is because it was a decade of my life where I had no answers. I had no label. I had nothing to go on other than these things would happen. In dealing with that, it was where depression kicked in, because I lost my mother at 24. So that took me down a very difficult path, but I was again hiding it from the world.
Speaker 3:Right, I didn't, I didn't address, I didn't address her loss. You know I didn't, I didn't mourn, I didn't give myself time to mourn. You know, I just for me, keeping busy. Keeping busy keeps the mind off the subject. So I mean, when I tell you I got into so many projects and that's why I became an accountant, I literally went to the university and said I need something to keep my mind busy. And she said you know, whatever, Long story short, the conversation went from there's finance. I said I'm great with numbers. She said there's finance, there's accounting. Accounting would be very challenging if you're working full time and I was like I'm in, I don't care. So I was working full time.
Speaker 2:This is my medicine, just give it to me.
Speaker 3:This is my medicine. Just give it to me. Yes, so, with that being said, it was something where my breaking point was I have all this stuff, I'm hiding from the world, but your body and your brain, they, when they have enough, they, they had had enough. And that's what happened. My brain, my mindset, my thoughts were so overwhelming, it took over my physical and I had what they consider a breakdown, a nervous breakdown. So that's when I almost became a hermit, because the panic attacks were like mostly every day.
Speaker 2:It's probably easier, annette, to seclude yourself when you're dealing with it instead of doing it out in person or out in public. I commend you first of all for fighting through, because some don't. I want to commend you and I literally want to celebrate you. Ten years is a long time to be there. This isn't just a normal. I'm a little anxious, you know this is, this is severe. So I just want to commend you first for, you know, never quitting. So amen.
Speaker 2:You know it's really interesting how, 10 years, and doctors and okay, I'm not throwing shade on doctors, they're doing the best they can. Some are better than others, some investigate more, some try harder, all these things Right. But 10 years of this amazing woman not having an answer, not having you know it's a syndrome, it's this, it's that, you know, which I never accept syndromes. Give me an answer, which I never accept syndromes. Give me an answer. What's actually happening? So I just again want to commend you for dealing with that. And, of course, I've lost my mother and father and I understand how tough that can be.
Speaker 2:So what I really want to dive into now is what we had talked about before, is the elimination. So you're like it's enough. None of this is working. It's like taking medications. None of this is working. It's like taking medications. None of this is actually working. None of this is actually stopping the problem or making me get better. So where are the illumination? What steps did you take?
Speaker 3:I'm excited for this. So that piece came in from finally hearing someone say, because I was frequent visiting the hospital at one point and finally, I think maybe the third or fourth visit within two months to the emergency room someone said, have you heard of anxiety? And I'm like, no, what is that? And you know she gave me the whole anxiety, panic attack, mental health. That's where the label came in mental health, it's a mental health issue. So that's why I wasn't getting the answers from anyone else at that time. And that led to seeing a professional, finding out you know how this all works, how it's affecting me, and digging deeper into this. So it was for me, if you give me answers.
Speaker 3:Then I became this big bookworm and just did my own research along with a professional, and hearing him say one thing changed the game. I said, okay, I need to know. Will I die from a panic attack If this is? You know, I know it's not a, it's not a heart issue, it's not a health issue If this continues and I'm home and I have one of these, I know I haven't died from it. Here I am, and I'm home and I have one of these, I know I haven't died from it. Here I am. I'm alive. Can someone you know? Is it ever? He said no, I've never heard of someone dying from a panic attack. That resolved so much for me, because it's not that it made it disappear, it was more of like you know what, as continue as you have. If it shows up again, you work through it and you come out on the other end.
Speaker 3:Now the trick was how can I eliminate them, how can I get to the point of I no longer have those? And that led me to personal development. So I had already tapped into Tony Robbins, those who know Tony Robbins work and different people. You know Tony Robbins' work and different people, Oprah at the time and different influencers. So I was always listening and feeding my mind as much as possible, but I didn't put the two together. So he said that.
Speaker 3:Then I knew that it was up to me. At that point something clicked and I knew it was up to me, not saying that other things don't help, but ultimately, what can I do to get to the other side? So that just led to personal development, getting involved, reading books, speaking more about it, speaking to people. Then I was like I spoke to anyone and everyone hey, I'm going through this, do you know, and panic attacks and anxiety, and medication and therapy, and so I was so open to having conversations and that's when I heard more and more hey, I know someone that's dealing with that, my mom deals with that, my aunt deals with that, my co-worker and it was so freeing, so freeing to, like you said, I wasn't alone. So that led to the path of illumination.
Speaker 2:I think that's. I think it's so fantastic, you know, that one doctor changed all of it Because I'm not going to die from it, and probably alleviated so many concerns, because when you're in that spin, all kinds of thoughts go through your head, bit because because I'm not going to die from it, and probably alleviated so many concerns, because when you're in that spin, all kinds of thoughts go through your head, oh my gosh, you know, especially if you're starting to black out, can't, see, I mean I can't, even I. I literally I can imagine it, but obviously I don't know it right, I don't, I've not done it, I've not been there. So I can just imagine, and I literally your brain going, I could die right now. You know, until you knew.
Speaker 2:So that's fantastic, first of all, and kudos to that doctor that helped you with that one sentence, that one sentence that that broke you free from that chain, which is fantastic. That broke you free from that chain, which is fantastic. So, so let's talk more about, like veterans and and moving forward, their families. You know, civilians, we all, again, can use these tips. So what, what tips would you say would you start with to get out of isolation, to get out of that spin cycle. If you will, let's start there, and then, of course, we'll walk through all the way to the illumination, if we can.
Speaker 3:So there's many things that you can learn about yourself. Let's start there, so being your biggest student of yourself. What are those? What is it that's keeping you in isolation? So one of the things for myself was that fear. Fear was a big, big indicator of I don't want this to happen outside. I don't want to go through that episode again. I want to be in the comfort of my home. Then there's so being honest, very honest with what fear comes up for you.
Speaker 3:Second would be why do you think this is happening? Being honest, you know, was it that you have a bout of depression? Is it that you had a trauma that keeps showing up? What is it that is affecting you? What triggers are there? So for me, I would say it was things as growing up, where you know different things that I saw and the way it affected my nervous system, and things that we hold into in our nervous system over time and builds up, and then you know, if it wasn't resolved or even addressed, how can I resolve it? How can I start to address these things?
Speaker 3:Then there's, you know, something, uh, significant emotional experience that happens for people, right, different things that happen. So for me, it just happened to be. The loss of my mother. You know that just changed my world, turned it upside down, and then it was more of having those tough conversations with myself, like you know, hey, that loss caused this, but how can I switch that around to so that I can move forward? Then there's the being vulnerable and having those uncomfortable conversations with your loved ones, with those closest to you. How can they help you? How can they? You know whether it's you see yourself not getting in the car and driving or you see yourself not heading out the house because of something, say you know what. How can let them know how they can help you? Because many times, when it comes to having our loved ones help us not that they don't want to help us they don't know how to help us.
Speaker 3:Because mental health is a very, very delicate thing, right, and the stigma that that word brings, or that term brings. Sometimes people shy away versus coming in right. So one of the things I heard that I love again from Dr Amen was an article he wrote about. You know, when someone has cancer. We hear about someone having cancer and they're like, oh, how can I help you? And and they're like they go towards you right, versus. When they hear, oh, that person has this mental health, they're like, oh, they might feel sorry for you, they might sympathize, they might want to help, but until you have that conversation as to what it is you need for their help, then you can all come together and make it better, right?
Speaker 3:So for me, it was more of you know, speaking to my dad, speaking to my cousins, my aunts and stuff, and saying, you know what, if someone can show up and you know, just come visit me or just come with me to an errand I need to run in case this happens, I feel more comfortable. So then it was going back. So the fear of going back to work or the fear of going back to school, for me, I just had to go and do it, right. So went back into work and thought to myself you know what, if I have an episode on the train, again I asked for help before I'll ask for help again. I didn't die from it, I just kept saying I didn't die from it. I didn't die from it. And then, when things would show up for me, I would find a quiet place, so meditation, I would go like literally working in Manhattan. I found, and again, I'm not putting my faith on anyone, but I found the closest church. There was a church a block away. I would go and sit in silence. So it's things that.
Speaker 3:What is it that you can do? What actions can you take? And they can be small ones, even in the morning. Now for me to say I never have panic attacks pretty close, I don't remember what was my last one but anxiety does it show up, absolutely. I've learned that I can control the anxiety so it doesn't boil up to the panic attack. So that's where I keep it. And when I have, when that anxiety starts to show up, then I check myself. Right, what am I thinking? What can I do in this moment? Can I go take a gratitude walk? Being grateful, that's my word over there. Can I go take that?
Speaker 2:That's a whole weird. Yeah, that's fantastic. It over there, can I go take it? Yeah, that's fantastic. And let me ask you this Literally, the people that are around you that love you and you love them, your support system, let's call it that. And that could be work, that could be home, of course, your amazing boyfriend, all these things right. How often have you had a real conversation with somebody and there's a reason I'm asking this real conversation about mental health, and I want to say mental health goes both ways, okay, negative and positive. So, um, when you say mental health, the stigma needs to go. It's just mental health, just like brain health, just like heart health. Um, how many times did you have a real conversation to somebody, letting them know this is what I'm dealing with and this is how you can help, because I can use your help here and there and, of course, your job, all those things? How many times did you say, oh, yeah, no, that's ridiculous and I'm not doing that?
Speaker 3:Never.
Speaker 2:Exactly. I was hoping that would be the answer. I was going on a limb, but I'm not. I me, that'd be the answer. I was going out on a limb, but I'm not. I can't say I'm a betting guy, I'm not, but I know the pattern right, so it's a little vulnerable. You have to be courageous. I don't care if you're a veteran family member or a civilian, you have. You want change, you want, you have to be courageous and step up for yourself and just ask for help. Because here's the amazing thing I've found on that and please chime in here People want to help the people they love and care about and they will stand up and be your hero and help you. You know you need to be your own hero, you know, first of all, but they want to be the hero for you. They want to help. It feels good to help somebody. It's a blessing to be able to help somebody that you love or care. Do you agree with that?
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, yes, yes. I feel that me as a giver, and those who have given it's a beautiful exchange, right? So whatever doesn't necessarily mean they're dealing with the same thing, but how can I help them? So, when it comes to that, just take a step back and think you're not taking anything away from anyone. You're giving them the gift of being able to help you, you're giving them the gift of being able to be there for you, and then, in return, you're giving them the gift of how you can serve them.
Speaker 2:I was literally just thinking that in my head. You're awesome Literally, because once you have that relationship it opens up so many more doors and such a fulfilling relationship because it goes both ways and when you love somebody and care about somebody, even if you're don't, it just feels good period, both ways and that relationship can go to a whole different level. Annette, we've got about three minutes left, so I do want to touch base on one other question that I did have before we finish here Success formula. You know you have a success formula you kind of talked about. How does somebody figure out that success formula for themselves, right?
Speaker 2:A lot of people are like, oh, I don't, I've never done that, I can't do that. When they look back on a success formula in their past, they see they've done it before and it's funny how we block that out. But what, how do you find, or how do you suggest for your coaching clients to find, that success formula so that they know with confidence and that they can do it themselves? They can do it. Well, not to move forward and ask for help and do all these other amazing, enlightening things you talked about?
Speaker 3:well, just to reiterate on on the time of the line of when this was happening for me, I was a young adult. So now I'm much old no, I'm older but when all this was happening I was she's 25. Come on, thank you, I was a young adult, you know. I was in my 20s when, when this was all happening. So from then to now, I've really really developed, you know, deep dive into personal development, becoming a neurocognitive specialist and brain health. It has like I wish I would have known what I know now. Then, right, there's many things that we say that about. But, with that being said, it's something where what can you? Sorry, I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 2:You wish. What you knew now, you knew then.
Speaker 3:And doing that, and what are those tools and strategies that you can implement? So, for me, every day, every day, I tap into some kind of tool, some kind of strategy to get me even further and be able to illuminate what I'm trying to do with things. So I just want to say this to your audience, if you don't mind, michael, please. I highly, highly, highly recommend this book Change your Brain Every Day with Dr Daniel Amen. This will not only and it doesn't mean, it doesn't mean that you have a challenge. We all have a brain.
Speaker 2:So let's love on our brain and let's optimize our brain, and that's an extremely, extremely great tool to have at a time, literally, and Annette I remember when we first met Annette was going on doing Daily Lives with that book and it was absolutely fantastic to watch and be involved with that, obviously. So check that book out. There's short reads. Literally, you can read them in five minutes. I don't think there's any takes longer than that, but it is a game changer. So thank you, so, so net. We are at the end of the show, my friend.
Speaker 3:So if you can give us three tips to get veterans and their families further faster, I would say, if you can tap into gratitude, five things every day, five things you're grateful for, I would think that's a great, great tool. Secondly is what do you want, right? So we have this one page miracle we call it and the one page miracle is writing out in detail what do you want for your relationships, for your career, for your spiritual life, and put as much detail as you can for that and look over it every day. Have it as that tool right, as that anchor. What am I doing? Is my behavior getting me closer to these things that I want?
Speaker 3:And then the smile formula, which we didn't get into and I know I kind of went off on a tangent, but that success formula is smile, share your thoughts, master your moments, your identity, tap into that Love yourself, be your biggest raving fan. And your energy what is that energy that you put? It doesn't have to be you have to be a gym buff, but your energy every day, like, are you moving your body, are you going out for those nature walks, are you celebrating, are you smiling, are you making those connections? So, with that being said, that smile formula is a success formula that I love to help my clients with.
Speaker 2:Fantastic, and I think I just got the title for our next podcast. I think that would be a fantastic thing to deep dive on, honestly. So, with that said, how do people reach you, my friend?
Speaker 3:I'm on social media my full name, Annette Remratten Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and you can send me a direct message. I will gladly be in touch with you and also we're going to talk about my. Twice a month I have a group calls. Everyone's invited. If you follow me, the post is there every two weeks. It's called 24 facets of further faster. Weeks it's called 24 Facets of Further Faster. We have 24 hours in every day to be magnificent badasses. We have those facets right. I do the analogy of a diamond, where that precious gem and the facets are within us. So let's illuminate them, let's bring those out to the world and further faster, using neuroscience tools and strategies to get us further faster, what we want sooner rather than later fantastic.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. And people reach out, and that is an amazing soul. She's an amazing light in this world and, um, everybody can learn from this lady. So please, uh, feel free to reach out. Um, with that said, I just want to make the announcement Annette is our 99th episode. 99. Still can't believe that. So tomorrow we're going to for our 100th celebration. We're going to have the amazing Joseph McClendon III on to celebrate with us. He's going to be dropping all kinds of bombs in a good way, golden nuggets, if you will. So please join us for that. And, with that said, you have anything else, annette?
Speaker 3:No, thank you. It was a pleasure and congratulations to you on your show and 99th episode. I'm honored and I can't wait to see your 100th one tomorrow tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Absolutely. Thank you. With that said, Annette, you know time is the most precious resource we have as human beings. We do not get it back. Thank you for spending some more time of your life with us to share and help create that ripple effect for people. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3:Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 2:All right, we are out of here.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole. We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you. To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom. Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count. Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire. Catch you on the next episode.