Your Thoughts Your Reality
Welcome to "Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole," the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael Cole, a Certified Elite Neuroencoding Specialist, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of Neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles: procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
Your Thoughts Your Reality
When Everything Isn't Enough: Discovering True Fulfillment
What happens when you achieve everything you've ever wanted, yet find yourself driving past the same cliff everyday, contemplating suicide? Yolanda Ayala, a 25-year veteran nurse at UCLA, takes us on her raw, transformative journey from the depths of depression to discovering authentic purpose and joy.
Despite having the perfect life on paper—loving family, successful career, financial stability—Yolanda spent three years planning her suicide. The turning point came unexpectedly at a business conference where she encountered personal development concepts that planted seeds of hope. "That little glimpse of light in the darkest time," as she calls it, gradually expanded through intentional growth practices and a commitment to rediscovering her authentic self.
Yolanda's story illuminates a paradox many face: the emptiness that can follow achieving our goals when those goals don't align with our deeper purpose. After realizing nursing had become her identity rather than her passion, she courageously stepped into public speaking and coaching—discovering work that doesn't feel like work: "I come to life, no matter how hard it is."
This conversation delivers practical wisdom for anyone feeling unfulfilled or stuck. Yolanda shares her daily practices—morning routines, gratitude journaling, goal-setting—that create sustainable transformation. Most powerfully, she suggests asking yourself: "When you're on your last breath, are you proud of yourself?" This perspective helps separate genuine purpose from societal expectations.
For veterans navigating difficult transitions, Yolanda offers three transformative insights: meet people where they are, commit to personal growth, and never give up hope. As host Michael Cole emphasizes, "You cannot be depressed if you're grateful"—highlighting how mindset practices can literally rewire our neural pathways toward positivity and purpose.
Ready to transform your own darkness into purpose? Visit empowerperformancestrategies.com for resources to begin your journey.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges. Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life. Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuro-encoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles, procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more. Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello everybody. So I am super excited I have a fantastic guest on today. My good friend, michael Pope, said, hey, this lady you want on your podcast, so I reached out and we're making it happen. So super excited, we have Yolanda Ayo on today. She's a 25-year career nurse at UCLA. She's known for her compassion and resilience. She's a survivor of deep personal struggle, including depression and suicidal thoughts, transformed her life through personal development and healing, become a powerful example of inner strength. And she is a rock star. I'll tell you what she now runs three businesses and integrating her experiences to serve others in holistic ways, and emerging public speaker and coach committed to helping others turn their pain into the most amazing thing for all of us is purpose and fulfillment. Yolanda, thank you for being on the show. So tell us just a little bit more about yourself, if you will.
Speaker 3:Thank you, michael. Thank you so much for having me on your show. Yes, I'm a nurse. I'm a mom of two boys, 18 and 25. Time goes by so fast. I have a husband and I do continue to work at UCLA and pursue my dream to become a public speaker.
Speaker 2:That's absolutely fantastic dream to become a public speaker. Well, that's absolutely fantastic. So just before we get started, I just want to remind everybody. On the top right-hand corner of your screen, there's a blue QR code that takes you to Empower Performance Strategies Again empowerperformancestrategiescom. For people listening on the podcast forums later on. Please check it out. There are free eBooks that I've written, there are resources, trainings and there are Facebook groups for both veterans and their families, separate, so you guys can join our mission, join our community, you know be, part of people, be part of the mission, if you will.
Speaker 2:So, with that said, Yolanda, you ready to get started.
Speaker 3:I am ready.
Speaker 2:I'm super excited. So you've had, you know, really honestly, you've had such a remarkable journey. You know and here's the thing I want to point out is amazing, things come out of leverage enough and I can't deal with things anymore. That's when some of the most beautiful things are birthed in our lives. I totally, absolutely believe that, and so that's what's going to be so great about Yolanda's story right now that we're going to get into, so you know, from surviving personal darkness to stepping into leadership and, of course, entrepreneurship. Now, right, what was the moment that sparked your transformation? What? What said? Enough is enough. You know what was that moment, and please share some of the backstory as well, because I know that's a very important part of your story.
Speaker 3:Oh, yes, the darkest moments. It just seems like it was yesterday. It was September of 2018. At this point I had been in the darkest time of my life. The darkest times I just couldn't get myself up. For three years I had been planning to commit suicide. So embarrassed to even share that and it was the darkest time of my life is when I walked into my first business conference in September of 2018. I walked in and here I was feeling like I don't want to live anymore at all. I don't To walking into this blue stadium and that little light inside of me, that little gut feeling of there's more In darkness, that glimpse of light there's more. I didn't know at the time what that meant, but I believed it and I can feel it in the core of my heart. There's more yeah I sell.
Speaker 3:I saw mel robbins. She was a first keynote speaker. Everything she said, from the beginning to the end, that was my turnaround of you are alive, and everything she talked about I was like what is this? And that's when I learned about personal growth and personal development. So this is 2018.
Speaker 3:2023, in Austin, after the pandemic, I went to my first personal growth conference because I was in that pursuit of. I want this desire, I want this feeling and I don't want it to go away. I don't Because I was at the bottom of the bottom and just holding on to that glimpse of light, to walking into this conference, and I was just there to have a good time. This is post pandemic, three years to walking in the doors open, and I just saw a stage in that feeling. What is this? I saw Jamie Karlima and she gives us a keynote and, just out of nowhere, this feeling in my gut of like was I born to do more? Was I just unfulfilled of what I was doing? Did I reach the highest mountain, but not my full potential?
Speaker 3:Fast forward to last year November. I went to my first speaking institute to learn about pursuing to become a speaker. I was nervous, I was scared, but that feeling I could not turn it off. I was scared, but that feeling I could not turn it off. A three-day boot camp of pushing myself. Now I'm putting all the personal growth and development that I've been working on into the test. I stood on stage, I was nervous, it was hard for three days. When I finished, the magic happened. I'm like what is this? What is this? And then just diving into what is the best version of myself, Love it.
Speaker 2:I absolutely love it, and so there's some really key things in there that you talked about. It's not just instant, I know. It's different doors open along the way and, by the way, you did go to some amazing people to see, first of all, absolutely fantastic, huge fans and mentors of mine as well. So, you know, I really want to dive in a little bit to the past and share as much as you're willing to share. I know you're pretty open about it, but if there's something that you in fact, my wife just popped up big fans as well Um, uh, so if we can go back, you know, uh, what it'd be five years or something like that, actually more when you were on the verge.
Speaker 2:You know, I, I, I know a little bit about your story. I believe you, you actually had a road that you were planning to take your life and you had it planned out and you drove it all the time, and so you lived that self-imposed I'll say trauma, because of whatever reasons. You know you were like I'm not fulfilled. We've talked, so I know the story, but talk to us about what kept you going. So tell us a little bit about that you know about when you were in your dark place and I don't want to stay there too long, because this is about hey showing the darkness. But hey, there's a light at the other side. That's what the show's all about and moving forward in life. So talk to me a little bit more about that, if you will. Of hey man, I was on the brink. This is what I was not necessarily planning to do, but whatever you want to share vulnerable-wise, as far as that goes, let's start there, if we can, with your story.
Speaker 3:Yes, the darkest time is just driving, driving to work. At the time I worked in two hospitals one community hospital and a teaching hospital. But every time I would drive to the community hospital, I would just have all these emotions come out of, just tears, out of nowhere and the guilt, and I would think to myself why am I feeling like this? Why am I sad when I have everything? At this point I had everything a husband, a house, the perfect, two jobs, the money, everything that I dreamt as a little girl. I had and I was living it. And I remember driving down Topanga Canyon to go on a hike, to feel a little more alive and to feel the air and and just feel the moment. Driving back, these thoughts out of nowhere would come, just go over the cliff, and I've learned that they're called ants, automatic negative thoughts. At the time I didn't know and I would be driving and I'm like, well, if I just go over the cliff it's going to look like an accident and if I turn this way, then nobody will know, it'll be my secret, because living in that depressed, not wanting to live, that's all you think about. And the only two things that I can hold on to were my two kids. Who is going to take care of them? Nobody's going to love them as much as I love them.
Speaker 3:And even though that was my light of holding on to that little glimpse of light it's not just your two kids, but it's that little glimpse of light that there's hope. Because I go back to what if I didn't have my two kids? Will I literally pull the trigger and be like just go over the cliff? What if I didn't have my two kids? Will I literally pull the trigger and be like just go over the cliff? What if I didn't have my two kids? How can I work myself through this hope? And what I realized is, with hope, we hope, we pray, we reach out to our biggest power. But hope is taking action one day at a time. Take action plan what is your perspective? And go forward to where do you see yourself?
Speaker 3:And other times were beyond the 101 freeway. There is this curve working at the time in the ER, and I would see myself, or I would see the accidents, and I'm like, well, if I go over this clip, it is going to look like an accident and the only thing that I would hold on to is that little glimpse of light in the darkest time, and I know for a fact during the time it's hard to see Because, no matter the external that you have, what I have learned is the internal inside of me, is the internal inside of me. You know I had conditioned myself to go 100 miles an hour to reach that goal to become a nurse and in that pursuit I was laser focused that even in 2020, I just saw myself like I've been pretty much dealing with myself and putting myself in the situation that I am ready to take or conquer anything.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I love that. So you know when you're going back and you're you know, in those moments. So I want to even go back a little further, just to paint more of a picture. And you know, you as a little girl, want to paint more of a picture and you, as a little girl, wanted to be a nurse. Right, married kids, all these things. And what people don't realize sometimes is what they envision by again outside sources of what the perfect life is, again outside sources of what the perfect life is, isn't necessarily going to fulfill you long term. And the cool thing about your story is it did until it didn't. So talk to me just a minute and then we're going to dive into the good feel, good stuff. When you, man, I accomplished everything, but I'm not, I'm not fulfilled. So talk to me a little bit. The realization of this isn't enough. Everything that I worked so hard for and now I'm just here, why do you think that wasn't enough? Now I'm just here.
Speaker 3:Why do you think that wasn't enough? And it all started when I was eight years old when I was hit by a car and that experience is what drove me into I want to be a nurse. I saw the good and the bad in the hospital and I'm like. I want to be an advocate for my patients. I want to educate them. I had gone through three months of brutal pain, three months of proving myself that I wasn't going to die to nursing school and other labels that the environment, everybody would put on me like you're not good enough, you can't do this, you're not good enough, you can't do this to accomplishing my childhood dream. And I felt that I reached the highest mountain of my life. I arrived and I worked so hard and I'm like I literally felt like this is it, is this what life is about? Why I found it so hard.
Speaker 3:The books and learning inside of me, that little girl that I have learned is what is my identity at the time, even though I knew my identity was to become a nurse and I had accomplished it. But it's through all the books and all the learning and doing the deep work of inside of me, I forgot who that little girl was because now into my three businesses, it's hard. However, the difference is when I became a nurse, I was very proud to write Yolanda Ayala RN, but now, in the pursuit of three businesses, it's something, it's a feeling inside of me that sometimes it's hard to explain. I come to life, no matter how hard it is. I keep getting up and I keep thinking of that one person that I can help, just that one person that I can help, and it doesn't even feel like work. I truly, from the inside out, that even now, I keep my life so simple, super simple.
Speaker 2:And those. It's really interesting and I've, I've done something very similar, right, not not your path. I mean the, the, the stories are different, the patterns are very similar generally. And so what? What happens a lot of times? And it could be your, your dream job, it could be your dream wedding, it could be a car. I mean we, we get so focused on the end result that we don't enjoy the journey, because that's where the beautiful things happen. And so what? We get there and then what happens? Oh, okay, that's it.
Speaker 2:I worked all this time and this is it, and we lose, we lose the whole idea of the fulfillment and that purpose. And so it's really cool that that's why I wanted you to talk about it, because I knew the story and it was, it was you led into it perfectly. It's so amazing that when we find that fulfillment, how everything else in life, we find that fulfillment, how everything else in life, everything else in life is better, like the work I do, just like you said, I can't call it work, I can't call the podcast work, coaching, people, training, speaking, any of those things. It's not work, it's play, because I love it not to diminish, you know, the, the, the integrity of what I'm doing or you're doing, but it is play. Because it's not, I won't call it work, I can't, I refuse to. So I love that you said that. Absolutely fantastic, so let's move into, if we can. Well, I actually have a question, since you found your play, if you will do you notice that you're enjoying nursing more?
Speaker 3:Yes, I do, I, when I go to work, my, I only work two nights a week, I'm very lucky at the hospital and then I do everything else. But when I go to work I'm like I'm here for 12 hours. Let me just, you know, use my skills and it's still very hard, you know, physical, mentally. But when I'm there I still have that little butterfly, that little gut feeling inside of me like I want to be doing more. I want to be doing more and I truly believe that's a chapter that I'm okay with closing, even though it had been my identity.
Speaker 3:But those skills that I learned brought me into who I am becoming, because now that I see and I recognize, and now I have my little backpack of tools that I've learned throughout the years, I can continue living life gracefully. I can continue living life and feeling that light brighter and letting myself shine brighter, and just because I'm no longer going to continue working at UCLA. But that life UCLA brought me into what's next and not get stuck in that mountain or get stuck in the Valley. But what is the next mountain? What is the next feeling?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I love you say that and I had a feeling you're going to say that you know, because you're still helping, right, because your fulfillment from what I'm gathering, and I'd say, most people in the world, when they find the fulfillment of helping other people and it's not about yourself, that's where they find that purpose and fulfillment and that's where they find that happiness in life. And so when you're able to go back and still helping people and helping UCLA do what they do, it's a beautiful thing. It really is, and I love every time you talk about your future, how you just light up. I don't know if anybody else is seeing that, but every time she starts talking about it, she just lights up, her eyes get a little bigger and just everything. It's fantastic. So let's talk about that.
Speaker 1:Yes, See, that's it.
Speaker 2:That's exactly it. So you know for veterans and you know their families. Of course, that's that's what our main structures, but these things help everybody, you know, to hear how you come from the darkness, and as long as you keep taking those steps and keep taking action, one foot in front of the other, towards a goal, it changes and you get closer and closer, just depending on how much action you take and how, how fast you you want to move towards it and how important it is to you and, most importantly, how passionate about it you are. So, with that said, you know what. Where do I want to go with this?
Speaker 2:So when you start thinking about you know you went through what you went through. Now you're excited about the future of coaching and public speaking and those kinds of things. So what are some of the things that really get you excited and make you grateful for that transition, if you will, and the next transition in your life? Because the nursing is a chapter, an important chapter in your life. It always is part of you, but the next chapter is, you know, your your choosing as well. So talk to me about what's got you most pumped up and excited about moving forward.
Speaker 3:Yes, is number one. Key is growth. I have goals, but I want to grow. I want to grow and I always ask myself what is the best version of me? What is it that the little girl Yolanda loved doing? What did she enjoy doing? That has become the core.
Speaker 3:And to continue seeing all the books that I've been reading, all the podcasts that I'm listening to, the audio books that I'm listening to, and pushing myself forward and improving and competing with myself. Competing with myself, and where do I see myself in a month from now, a year from now, and setting those short-term goals as well and those long-term goals. In that vision, where do you really see yourself? And even though it's hard for me right now, because I went from nurse, wife, mom to business Completely the opposite, and it has been a challenge what I have noticed is with nursing school what skills did I have going into nursing school? Because nursing school was very structured. You go to nursing school, it's very structured, and you become a nurse and I'm like what are the skills Belief? I believe in myself, yeah. Where do I see myself from now? My vision, yeah, and holding on to those skills to now, where am I going?
Speaker 2:So so let's talk about that, because that is so. What is she doing? She's planning, she's chunking it down into goals and then, and then she's excited about the journey. That's, that's what I really got out of that, you know it's. It's not about Ooh, I'm going to go talk to 10 million people, that kind of thing. She's talking about the journey itself, which is super cool, because that's how you don't get burned out. Fyi, everybody, that's what's happening in corporate America and the world is everybody gets burned out. So it's about the journey, it's about that goal, it's about the voyage if you will.
Speaker 2:So what are? Let's go, let's give some skills to the people listening. So what are some of the things that you do when you are figuring out your plan? You know, talk to us a little bit about how you said okay, well, this is where I'm at, this is where I want to go. Okay, well, this is where I'm at, this is where I want to go. And then and then some of the little steps to give some skills to, again, people listening and watching of how Yolanda does it.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I started with one book and focusing on that one book and diving in to what serves me. What can I start doing? So I started with a 5am club. A lot of my friends they make fun of me, but I started with a 5am club waking up early in the morning, having my cup of coffee, going on a walk and journaling. That's something I never did before, and I always write down what are three to five things that I'm grateful for right now, what are three to five things that I'm grateful for right now? And automatically, who do I want to become? I'm constantly asking myself. So wake up early, work on my gratitude, read a book, listen to a book, write down my plans. And what has helped me so much is have my plan, have my board of my goals. Where do I see myself one month, six months, one year from now, and not just like yearly? Oh, this year, what am I going to do? But is your vision when you're on your last breath? Are you proud of yourself? Are you proud of yourself?
Speaker 3:And in this pursuit of personal growth and becoming a public speaker, what I noticed one night I was at work. It was like two in the morning. I was getting ready to go to work. I was I mean, not getting ready to work, getting ready to go on my break and I was talking to a friend, a colleague, and he goes tell me all this personal growth you're doing, what are you doing? And I went from like I am so tired, I'm exhausted, I'm ready to go on my break, like I just came alive. I felt like somebody just gave me a shot and I'm like, oh, my god, this is going on.
Speaker 3:And that's the difference when you start having your routines, and every day it's not perfect. I'm a night nurse, so it's not always a 5 am, it's not always the perfect day. However, I'm making small steps forward In that moment. I kind of take a picture of that moment, of that feeling. How did I get there? What am I doing? And continue, because we all fall into this. I mean, I'm guilty, we all fall into those patterns that don't serve us. To me, the big one is drinking, like, oh, I needed to press my feelings to recognizing and be accountable, like recognizing that doesn't serve me. And the big one is what is my identity? Yeah, and where do I want to go?
Speaker 2:yeah, I, I love that we're getting close to being at end of time already. I can't believe it's already almost over, so, um, so I love that you know. You say that let's start off with being grateful, right, um, you, you, you can't be depressed if you're grateful people. You cannot be depressed if you're grateful people. You cannot be depressed if you're grateful. So take a minute. Do journaling, like Yolanda said. Phenomenal tips, by the way.
Speaker 2:Take a minute, and I suggest it also at the end of your day, because when you do that at the end of your day, it actually goes into your subconscious and you wake up in the same place. So if you did it at the beginning of the day and you can do it for five minutes, 10 minutes, whatever works for you, but put a smile on your face. Neuron coding sorry, I can't help myself. Put a smile on your face. There's 22 muscles in your face. When you smile, they automatically. Your brain doesn't know the difference whether it's fake or real. Number one. Number two is it releases all of the good hormones into your body, releases all of the good hormones into your body and your brain's going what just happened? I want more of that. And your brain starts looking for it and then creating new neural pathways and or strengthenings the existing ones, so that it starts happening automatic and celebrated Literally, yolanda, like we did before we get on here celebrated, pat yourself on the back, literally get up and dance, change your physiology, because it changes everything.
Speaker 2:You literally will not be able to be depressed if you're grateful. So if you see yourself spinning that way and I call the spin cycle, you see yourself spinning into that right as soon as you catch yourself, do these things because it changes the absolute game. Yolanda, you've been absolutely amazing with your tips. Your brightness just shines, my friend, it really does so. So happy you've been on here. Can you give us a couple of things is how do people reach you? I know you're doing coaching and you're doing some speaking and those kinds of things. How do people reach out to you?
Speaker 3:things. How do people reach out to you? Yes, On Instagram I'm under Yoli72runs and also on Facebook. Facebook, my name, Yolanda Ayala, are my two ways of reaching out to me.
Speaker 2:Fantastic, thank you very much. And then can we get three tips to get veterans and their families further faster.
Speaker 3:Yes, tip number one meet them where they're at, listen to them. Each individual learned as well of becoming their best version, learning about personal growth, personal development, and don't lose hope. Don't give up on yourself, don't give up on your loved ones and go with them in that journey and be the light for them.
Speaker 2:Love it, absolutely love it, thank you. Thank you so much for that, yolanda. You know, time is the most precious resource we have as human beings. We don't get it back. Thank you for spending some time, some of your, some of your life, with us, to to spread joy, to spread tips and thoughts, because, again, you're amazing and I'm so excited. I literally just got I call them God bumps now, um, goosebumps, um about your future. It's going to be fantastic. I am so excited to to be in touch and see you grow and what you're going to do in this world. So, thank you very much.
Speaker 3:Thank you, Michael.
Speaker 2:Absolutely All right, everybody. That is the show. I cannot believe. It went that fast, but we are out of here, everybody.
Speaker 1:I cannot believe it went that fast, but we are out of here, everybody. Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast, with your host, michael Cole. We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality. Visit empowerperformancestrategiescom. Remember your thoughts, shape your reality. Visit empowerperformancestrategiescom. Remember your thoughts, shape your reality, so make them count. Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire. Catch you on the next episode.