Love in Real Life – 1 Corinthians 13

What does love in real life actually look like? In this heartfelt episode, Ashley unpacks 1 Corinthians 13 and reminds us that love isn’t just a verse — it’s how we live. From patience in the everyday to kindness when no one’s watching, this episode will leave you encouraged to show love that lasts.

Transcript

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Y'all ever notice how people talk about love like it's easy? Like we can just wake up one morning and sprinkle a little kindness around and boom, hearts and harmony everywhere. But love's not like that. Not the kind Paul was talking about. It's not the soft music in the candlelight. It's patience when you've already run out of it. It's grace when other people haven't earned it. It's forgiveness when nobody even said, I'm sorry. We like to quote 1 Corinthians 13 like it's a wedding verse, but Paul wasn't writing this to a bride holding flowers. He was writing it to a bunch of church folks who couldn't even get along. They were arguing, complaining, comparing, showing off, basically acting like modern day Facebook comment section. Whoop, don't go there. And Paul was like, y'all, you are missing the point. You can speak in tongues, preach, serve, post, and sing. But if love's not behind it, it's just noise. Now that hits differently, doesn't it? Because we've all been noisy before. I know I have. I've said the right thing with the wrong tone. I've done the right thing with the wrong heart and expected people to see love when what I was really showing was pride, just dressed up pretty. Love isn't about looking nice, it's about letting God shape you into someone who stays kind even when life is not kind back. And sometimes, y'all, love just plain hurts. It stretches you, it humbles you, it makes you see parts of yourself that are not as patient and gentle or as forgiving as you thought. And that's when it gets real. That's the kind of love that changes families, it softens hearts, and it keeps marriages standing and together when life is heavy. That's the kind of love that looks a lot like Jesus. So that's where we're heading out to today. Not into fluffy love or fairy tale love, but the kind that shows up in real life. Love that doesn't give up. Love that's not about feelings, but about faithfulness. Love that still chooses people when they're hard to choose. Y'all ready? Now let's talk about that kind of love. Hey y'all, welcome back to Unscripted Conversations. I'm Ashley from Virginia. And if you're new here, this is where we talk about real life. The kind that doesn't always go according to plan, but somehow works out under God's grace. And if you've been here for a while, y'all know we don't do perfect around here. We talk about the parts of life that stretch us, teach us, and sometimes flat out wear us out. And how faith fits right into the middle of it. This season we've been digging into what it really means to live out the word, not just reading it, but actually walking it out day by day. And today we're getting into one of the hardest things to live: love. Not the easy kind, not the hallmark movie kind, but the kind that requires something from you. The kind that takes humility, patience, and a whole lot of grace sometimes. So settle in, get comfy, breathe for a minute, and let's just talk. No walls, no fancy words, just honest conversation about what it looks like to love in real life. Lord, I just thank you for this time together. Quiet my thoughts and my words and let yours come through instead. If there's something that needs to be said today, let it be yours, not mine. Help me to speak with honesty, grace, and truth, and let whoever's listening hear exactly what you want them to. In Jesus' mighty name, amen. All right, y'all. You know, I've read 1 Corinthians 13 more times than I can count. I've even got it hanging on my wall in the living room. But these first few verses always stop me right in my tracks. Paul says, if I could speak all the languages of the earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or clinging symbol. Every time I read that, I think, how many times have I sounded like that? How many times have I been doing the right thing on the outside, saying the right words, being polite, checking off all the boxes, but my heart was just not in it. We've all been there. And I know, I know you are literally nodding and smiling right now. You know, you've been there. But on the inside, you're thinking, Lord help me not roll my eyes right now. You're serving, but secretly wishing someone would notice. You're praying for someone, but you're also still mad at them. And Paul is saying that kind of love, where air quotes, love, doesn't ring true. It's just noise. Pretty noise at that, but it's still noise. I think about it like this: you can do all the right Christian things. Go to church, sing in the choir, quote scripture, share devotionals, even on social media, Facebook. But if love isn't the reason behind it, it's just a performance. And God's not impressed by performances. He is after your heart. Now, I'll be the first to admit, I've had seasons where I was busy doing good things. Y'all know that was air quotes right there, but missing the God things. It looked like love, but it wasn't coming from love. It was coming from guilt or habit or people pleasing, keeping up with the Jones, right? And that's what Paul was warning about. He's basically saying, you can do all the right stuff and still miss the point if love isn't what's behind it, if love isn't what is driving it. Love's not talent, it's not a platform or a spotlight moment. It's the quiet, everyday decision to show mercy when you'd rather stay mad, like big mad. When Paul said, love is patient, love is kind. I don't think he meant like a cute wall sign from Hobby Lobby. Literally, literally on my wall. It's so cute. It's so pretty. But I try to live it. And he meant it like this is going to take work. It's going to take intention. It's going to take you depending on God instead of your mood. I mean, let's start with love is patient. Patience isn't just waiting without complaining, it's about how you act while you're waiting. And that one gets me every single time. Because Lord knows I can get impatient, real impatient, like real, real, real fast. If I'm in a hurry and someone's moving slow, especially driving, oh my gosh, going to work, whether it's in the morning or back from lunch or leaving work, whether it's in the evening or lunchtime. Oh my goodness, that is when my true colors show. I'm like, push that long rectangular thing, make it go. You're going 10 or 15 miles under the speed limit. Okay, stop. I digress. Okay, so like I said, it's patience is how you act while you're waiting. If I'm in a hurry and someone's moving slow, I literally start sighing, tapping my foot, doing that little fake smile that hides the fact that I am so aggravated. And then I hear that little voice in my spirit saying, Ashley, that's not love. I know, I know, I know. Love waits with grace. It gives people room to grow and it doesn't keep a stopwatch on their progress. Have you ever noticed how God is so patient with us? I mean, we mess up all the time. We forget, we fall short. And what? Does he leave us? No, he keeps showing up. And if he can do that with me, surely I can do a little bit better with others. And then Paul says, love is kind. Kindness is one of those things that looks small, but it carries big weight. It's not just being polite, it's noticing. It's saying, Hey, I see you when somebody feels invisible. It's holding back a harsh word when you could say it and you want to say it, but you know it wouldn't help. Kindness doesn't have to make a scene. Sometimes it's a simple text that says, I'm thinking of you. Or sometimes it's biting your tongue and choosing quiet over chaos, or doing something you won't get credit for and being totally okay with that. Then Paul flips the script and starts listing all the things love isn't. He says, it doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it's not proud. And if we're being honest, that's the part we skip over. Because love gets tested most when our pride gets to truth. When we see someone else getting what we prayed for, when someone doesn't even say thank you, when we prove a point instead of protecting peace. And that's when love asks us the hardest question Do you want to be right or do you want to be like Jesus? And that one always stings a little. Like I am literally stomping my feet, throwing my fist down, and I'm like, suck it up, buttercup. I want to be like Jesus. I'm gonna turn the other cheek. It's hard. It is hard. Love doesn't mean that you're a doormat, it means you lay down your ego. You choose grace over getting even. It means you see people through the eyes of the one who made them, not the way they act in the moment. And y'all, let's be real honest, real quick. That's hard sometimes. There are people who make love in your neighbor feel like a full-time job with no benefits. But, but, but, but, but the more you practice it, the more peace and the more free your heart gets. Because love doesn't change the other person, it changes you. And then it says, love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. That right there is love with roots. Not the kind that comes and goes with feelings, it's the kind that stays even when it's uncomfortable. You know, you know, we talked about this last week. Love that protects isn't about hovering or fixing everything for someone. It's about standing beside them so they don't have to walk through the storm alone. It's quiet, steady strength. When Sam and I went through that hard season, doctor's visits, long nights, the kind of days where you just run on prayer and stubborn faith. I really learned what love meant. There weren't big speeches or huge romantic gestures. It was small, simple things, picking up the slack for each other, taking turns being strong. It was me saying, You rest, I'll handle it. And him saying, We got this. We'll be all right. That's love that protects. Not because it's loud, but because it shows up. And somewhere in that kind of steady love, trust starts to grow. The real kind of trust. Not the blind kind that ignores problems, but the kind that keeps choosing to believe the best even when fear wants to take over. It's looking at the person God gave you, whether it's your spouse, your child, your friend, a relative, and saying, I still believe God's working in you, even if I can't see it yet. When you really want to wring their neck. No, I'm just joking. Yes, I'm I'm not really joking. I'm not. People just aggravate you. They aggravate you, they pluck your nerves, they drive you crazy, they push your button. It's like they learn how to push your buttons. But we keep it together. We choose real love. And we have to keep telling ourselves, I still believe God is working in you. Even though I clearly cannot see it yet. It's happening. God's trying. God's doing it. And that's not easy. Trust is fragile sometimes. When you give grace instead of suspicion, or you choose faith instead of doubt, something changes. Love grows deeper roots within you. And those roots, that's where hope lives. Hope is the thing that makes you keep getting up every morning when life hasn't changed yet. It's the part of love that whispers, keep going. This isn't the end. Hope is what keeps a mama praying for her prodigal son. It's what keeps a couple rebuilding after the world said it was over. It's what keeps you believing that healing and peace are still possible. And when love has hope like that, it learns how to persevere. And perseverance is not dramatic. It is faithful. It's the kind of love that doesn't quit just because it's tired. It's not about pretending everything's fine. It's about knowing God's still in it, even when you cannot see the progress. We've talked about this. The waiting, the waiting room, outside, walking in the hallway. We know God has us. He has a plan. We just have to trust it, even though we can't see it. That kind of love, the kind that protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres, that's not natural. It's actually super natural. It's the love that comes from knowing how deeply you've been loved. Because God's been doing it for us all along. He protects us when we don't even realize it. He keeps trusting us with new beginnings, even when we messed up the last five he's given us. He keeps hoping for our hearts to come home. He never, ever, ever gives up on us. That's the kind of love Paul was talking about. Not a fluffy, sentimental love, but a gritty, endearing, God-shaped love that holds when everything else falls apart. And then as this chapter closes, it says, and these three remain faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. I've read that verse my whole life. But the older I get, the more I understand what Paul meant. I also want to say every time I hear that verse, read that verse, anything. I think about Alan Jackson. If you know, you know, love y'all. Faith gets us through the valleys. Hope keeps us moving towards something better. But love, love is what makes it all worth it. Faith and hope are powerful, but they're temporary. When we finally get to see Jesus' face to face, we won't need faith anymore. We'll see what we believed for. We won't need hope anymore. We'll have what we were hoping for. But love, that's forever. Love is the thread that runs through everything God's ever done. It's the reason he created us, the reason he forgives us a bazillion times. He sent Jesus to walk among us to show us what love with skin on looks like. Wow, let that sink in. And when we live from that place, when our words, our choices, our relationships all start flowing from love, we stop performing faith and start living it. And that's what this whole chapter is about. It's not a list of rules, it's not a personality checklist for good Christians. It's a reminder that no matter how gifted, how wise, how accomplished we become, it means nothing if love is not behind it. I think of it like this. Okay, so faith builds the house, hope decorates it, but love is what makes it feel like a home. Love is the warmth in the room. It's the light left on for somebody coming home late. It's what makes all other pieces matter. So if you take anything from this conversation today, let it be this. Love isn't just something we say, it's something we live. It's the way we speak to people, it's how we forgive. It's what we choose to remember and what we choose to let go of. And the more we let God teach us how to love like that, the more peaceful life gets. Not easier now, no, but peaceful. Because love clears the noise, it brings the focus, and it helps you see what's really worth holding on to. And I think that's what Paul was trying to get across. That love is a thing that never runs out, it never expires, it never stops working. It is literally the heartbeat of heaven. And the more we live it, the more we reflect him. And you know, no matter what you've heard me say in the past, love your enemies, but sometimes do it from a distance. You don't have to let everybody back in to prove your heart's right. Forgiveness doesn't always mean access, but it does mean keeping your heart soft enough for God to keep working through it. We've got to strive to let people see God shining through us. Not just when we've got our Sunday best on, but in the quiet, ordinary moments that nobody claps for. They should see him in the words we say, in the way we treat people, and most all in what we do when nobody's around to notice. That's where our faith truly shows its roots. Do we turn our head to gossip because it's easier than speaking up, or do we jump in? Do we walk right past someone struggling because we're in a hurry? Do we notice that mama at the grocery store telling her child no to a snack because she's counting dollars to make sure there's enough left for bread? Those are the moments where love gets real, where we decide if it's something we say or something we live. Because loving in real life is way more than a quote or a verse on a wall. It is cute, though. It's the quiet, humble yes to letting God's love work through you, even when it costs something. And y'all, that's the kind of love that changes the world one scene, act at a time. I really tell you, everybody in the world would get along if you just love each other. Just love each other. Everybody. It doesn't matter what your thoughts and opinions are, what you believe, what you think, what you back, where you come from. It does not matter. God put us all on this earth to love each other. It doesn't matter what country you're from, it doesn't matter if you look different, it doesn't matter who you think should be running the government. It does not matter. You love each other. Love each other, and there would be no more violence in this world. I'm getting off my soapbox now. Father, thank you for reminding us tonight what real love looks like. Not the polished version, not the kind that's easy when everything's going right, but the kind that bends and breaks and still chooses to believe. Lord, teach us to love when it's inconvenient, when it's hard, when it hurts. Teach us to love when our hearts are tired, when words come sharp, and when forgiveness feels bigger than what we can stand. Help us to see people the way you see them, past the attitude, past the mistakes, past the walls they've built to hide the hurt. And for the ones who've hurt us, give us the peace to release them and the wisdom to love them from a distance that protects the healing you're working in us. Remind us, Lord, that love isn't proven by what we say. It's shown in how we live. It's the quiet choices we make when no one's watching, but you always are. It's how we show up for people who can't give us anything back in return. It's the small mercies, the unseen kindness, the gentle words that echo your heart. Soften us, God. Make us vessels of your love, the steady, the patient, selfless kind. And when this world feels cold or cruel, let your light shine through us, even if it's just a flicker. Let it burn bright enough for someone else to see you. Thank you for loving us first and for never giving up on us. Let our lives be proofs of that love. Real, messy, faithful, and true. In Jesus' precious name, amen. If this message met you right where you are tonight, take it as a reminder. God's still working in you. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to keep showing up and letting him shape your heart one day at a time. And maybe this week, look for one quiet way to love someone a little bit better. Hold the door, send a text, offer a prayer, give grace, let that love flow out of you so somebody else can see him a little bit clearer because it. Thank you for spending part of your day with me here on Unscripted Conversations. I pray you walk away feeling a little bit lighter, a little bit stronger, and a whole lot more reminded that love, real love, still works. And if you like this message, or if you know somebody that needs to hear it or could benefit from it, share it to them, spread it around, leave me a review. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. So until next week, thanks, y'all.