The LNBE Podcast
Mike Rispoli presents: The LNBE Podcast—"Literally Nothing, But Everything."
It’s a mix of personal stories, life lessons, and hot takes, all told like you're on the phone with your most unfiltered friend.
No experts. No advice. Just vibes, opinions, and faith-based curiosity.
The LNBE Podcast
Episode 67 - Nothing but Divine Timing
Mike runs his mouth about almost starting an OnlyFans, getting a bartending job at the last second, and why divine timing might just be God’s way of saying “I got you, bro.”
From getting humbled by a POS system to being reassured by a cheesecake-loving grandma, this one's a short but packed update on new beginnings, faith, and learning drinks by pattern (but not Excel formulas).
If you've ever felt stuck or uncertain, this one’s for you.
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.
all right. So I know last week was a shorter episode and I promised a longer one. Look, I don't usually break promises unless it involves the gym lent or texting people back under 48 hours. With that said, this one might also run a little short, but I will say it's packed. We've got divine timing, sweet old ladies, tequila-based revelations and me getting humbled by a computer screen. So let's get into it.
Mike:So before I get into it, actually real talk. I was this close to making an OnlyFans and believe me when I say this, that is not something that anybody wants to see, including myself. Trust me, I look at myself in the mirror every fucking day. That is something that I definitely have on my short list to not expose to the world. But I was out of options. So when I say that this job came just in time, I mean it came just in time. So here's the deal. I almost ran out of money and then I got a job. No joke, literally the last day of my unemployment I get a call. You can call it luck, timing or God just saying you know what. That's enough character development. I got you, bro, but the way that it happened was kind of wild.
Mike:So my family and I go out to dinner for Easter and, as you guys all know, I've been thinking about bartending full time because it's less corporate nonsense and doing something that I thought I would actually enjoy about bartending full time because it's less corporate nonsense and doing something that I thought I would actually enjoy. So we're out at this restaurant and the bar is slammed. So I just think you know what, why not? And I asked the host for an application. I fill it out right there, but I didn't hear back for a couple of days. So I go back in, I speak with the manager and they tell me that they're not hiring. So I'm like, all right, cool in. I speak with the manager and they tell me that they're not hiring. So I'm like, all right, cool, thanks for nothing, right. But then a couple of days later I get a call from a number that I'd usually ignore, but something told me to pick it up. So I pick it up, thinking that it might've been for some marketing job that I'd been applying to or whatever. But it turns out it was that restaurant's sister restaurant. They got my info and they actually were looking for a bartender. So they say can you come in today for an interview. I shoot up there, interview on the spot, and then I get a call back the next morning and boom, I'm in.
Mike:And man, it's a shift because I come from dive bar chaos, you know, slinging two-ingredient drinks, I'm handwriting tabs. I'm used to 60 college kids yelling at me all at once, but now it's a little quieter, cleaner but like weirdly, it's a little more intense because I'm learning new drinks that I've never made. I'm also learning the POS system and it's funny because one of the people training me just goes have you ever used the POS system before? I'm like why the hell would I want to use a piece of shit system? And they're like no payment operating system and I'm like that makes more sense. So definitely a change of pace for me there. But I've also got to learn table layouts, food service and the whole menu.
Mike:And it's not that I'm just new, it's that I also just feel like I'm totally out of my element. It's kind of like I went from sprinting barefoot to being told to tap dance in dress shoes. Like I'll give you a perfect example this couple walks in, they order from the specials and I didn't realize that those come with customizable sides. So the POS system freaks out, and then I go back all awkward like, hey guys, I actually need you to pick sides. But they kind of laugh it off and they ask if I'm new, and of course I own it. I'm like, yep, brand spanking new, but then, as they're giving me their order, I'm also fumbling with this system, and even they're just egging me on just like oh, don't worry, honey, you'll figure it out. I'm just like, oh, geez, almighty.
Mike:It was definitely a rough moment, but I figured it out. I learned what things are in the system, but that was also the moment where I just really thought am I in over my head? Because right now, I feel like I suck more than a dude in prison. It's just all at once, and I'm trying to keep up, while also trying to not totally choke in front of everybody. Trying to keep up while also trying to not totally choke in front of everybody.
Mike:But what I am learning, though, is that, when it comes to drinks, it's just patterns, because, like I said, I'm used to the dive bar scene, where it's just a two ingredient cocktail, but, for example, like a margarita is just tequila, lime juice, triple sec, and at the restaurant I just got hired at they use agave. But then a Palomaoma, which I got asked to make for the very first time a couple days ago, I realized is tequila, lime juice, grapefruit and simple syrup. So it's same roots, kind of like their cousins. A margarita is kind of like boston and a paloma is like new york. It's still tequila, but it just thinks that it's a little bit better than you, probably just because of those 27 championships, even though like 10 of those were before the color barrier. So can we all just relax here. But what's crazy is I was shown the Paloma once and nailed it. But if you ask me to make a spreadsheet formula, I'm more fucked than a porn star on a double shift. So maybe I do have some chops for this gig after all.
Mike:But then, amid the chaos, there was this older woman who sat down at the bar during my training and she was just super sweet and she orders a coffee, a water and a slice of cheesecake. That was it. It. There was no rush, no drama. She even complimented my service and told me I'd do just fine. It was such a small moment but, man, it slowed everything down for me, kind of like God stepped in and was just like I'm going to give him a second to breathe here. It kind of reminded me why I was drawn to bartending in the first place. It's not just for the tips or the drinks although a tip would be friggin' nice but it's for those little moments. It's for those little one-on-one human grounding moments that you don't normally get behind a desk.
Mike:And I know this one ended up a little shorter than last week and I'm sorry for that. But I still wanted to put something out for you guys and let you know what's been going on. It means a lot to me that you're still listening, even though the episodes have been a little bit of more quick updates instead of full rants. But right now my schedule has just been crazy. They've just been putting me on like random days for training and I don't even know what my schedule is at this moment. But once I I kind of get settled, I hope that I can kind of get more into the flow of this. So again, I'm sorry for the shorter episodes and I'm going to apologize in advance in case I miss one, but just kind of letting you guys know what's going on too.
Mike:But also, maybe that's the whole point of this episode, because sometimes life doesn't unfold in perfect timing, but ends up in divine timing. Like my job didn't come when I expected it. The answers didn't show up when I wanted them to, but they came when I needed them, and I kept showing up even when I was frustrated, broken, uncertain, and eventually things aligned. It was like the last day of my unemployment and God sent me this gift of here's a job that I know you're going to want and I know you're going to like. So if you're in that space, waiting, questioning, feeling stuck, I get it. Trust me, if you've been listening to the past couple weeks, you'll know that I understand You're not alone, but you just got to keep moving and keep showing up.
Mike:God's plan doesn't always come with clarity, but sometimes, at least in my case, it showed up disguised as a bar shift, because how many marketing jobs did I apply to and got nowhere with it? But then I applied to a couple bartending jobs and I ended up getting one. So maybe that's God's message to me of, maybe that's the road that I'm supposed to be going down. I have no idea, but I can only imagine where I would be right now if I didn't apply for that job and if I didn't pick up that phone call. So sometimes, even when you expect it to be a spam number, maybe you should pick it up, because God literally sent me a gift when I needed it most, and what would have happened if I didn't answer that call? But for right now my life's a little hectic. I'm kind of figuring it out one tequila-based metaphor at a time. So, more soon, stay tuned and also send prayers for my POS memory.
Mike:But I'm sorry again, this is a shorter episode. If you did like this episode, please share it with a friend. Like comment, subscribe. Make sure you check out my socials on TikTok and Instagram @thelnbe podcast, and if you guys want to write in, send me an email to lnbemedia@ gmail. com. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening and we will catch up next week.
