Episode 78 - Nothing but Performance Reviews

Mike is joined by Olivia and together they run their mouths about Valentine’s Day pressure, men performing for approval, steak knives at dinner tables, and why Bad Bunny might’ve delivered the most honest moment of the week.

If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.

Chapters

• 0:00 Sick, Single, And Still Salty
• 0:41 Olivia Joins The Conversation
• 0:49 Performative Romance Vs Real Care
• 2:06 Capitalism, Candy Hearts, And Costs
• 3:54 Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, And Worth
• 8:29 Relationship Scripts And Gendered Pressure
• 12:22 Super Bowl Halftime And Backlash
• 16:36 Ads, AI, And Authenticity Theater
• 21:06 Unity Message Vs Selfish Holiday
• 24:16 Closing Thoughts And Self Love

Transcript

Mike: 0:09

So last year on Valentine's Day, I was sick, single, and pissed off. This year, I'm not single. I am still sick, just more in the head, and annoyed is just kind of my default setting at this point. And I still stand by the fact that Valentine's Day is a dumb holiday. But now I've got someone here who can tell me if I'm wrong in real time. Hey Liv!

Olivia: 0:34

What?

Mike: 0:36

I'm doing the pod. Do you want to jump on real quick?

Olivia: 0:39

Yeah, sure, why not?

Mike: 0:41

So everybody, this is my girlfriend Olivia. Welcome to the LMVE podcast.

Olivia: 0:46

Hi.

Mike: 0:49

So, Liv, I don't know about you, but to me, Valentine's Day is kind of like taking Viagra before hooking up with somebody for the first time. Like nobody told you to do it, but you're so worried about performance that you overreacted just for that one night. And I can't tell if that's because people are lazy the rest of the year or because we genuinely don't know how to show appreciation consistently.

Olivia: 1:15

Yeah. So I I definitely think that most of the time people don't constantly show appreciation to their partner. Like I I just literally had one of my coworkers just talk to me about it where they're making Valentine's Day, they're getting anxious that they're working it and that they're trying to get someone to cover them on Friday and be off on Saturday because they're like, oh, I I have to plan this great, amazing dinner when it's like, if you actually really liked this girl or loved whoever you're with, wouldn't you be doing this all the time? Like, wouldn't you be planning date nights maybe once a week or weekend getaway or like weekend treat for each other? Like, why is it that we spend so much time and money, let just money alone, on a single day when there's 364 other days you should appreciate the person?

Mike: 2:07

Yeah, I agree with that. I mean, I don't know. I just think it's just the essence of the capitalistic ideals of these stupid Hallmark holidays.

Olivia: 2:16

Oh, yeah. I mean, like, let's really break down like I don't like wearing red for my nail polish. And what did I do like two weeks ago? I put red on my nail polish to match like the pink and red glitter, so my nails look like candy hearts. And it really is like red roses are now like a huge commodity for this literally just week alone. The candy. I can only imagine what CVS looks like. At work, we have those brownies, you know, and they're shaped like hearts, and they're selling like crazy because people are like, oh my God, it's Valentine's Day. Like Withering Heights is being released the day before Valentine's Day, which is not, by the way, fun fact, not a romance uh movie or a novel. Uh, it is quite literally trauma wrapped up in a lustful ribbon. So, like, they're now making a whole movie. Like, there's so much consumerism capitalistic ideas around Valentine's Day just to get poor suckers to spend hundreds and you know, honestly, some people probably spend thousands of dollars for flowers, chocolates. When truthfully, I think most girls, or at least me, love to not leave the house, give me my comfy pajamas, give me my hamster bottle of water, and like give me my chocolates and walk away and put honey on my lap. Like, that's all I want for Valentine's Day is to not be overstimulated for one day.

Mike: 3:54

But I think this is where Valentine's Day kind of feels different to me than Mother's Day or Father's Day, right? Because those are also appreciate the person holidays. But with those, it's earned. Like if you're a good mother or if you're a good father, then yes, obviously when kids are older, they should do something to appreciate their parents. But usually it's when kids are, I don't know, two or three, it's the spouse or the partner who's doing something for their significant other. So it's kind of the same thing as Valentine's Day. Like, oh good God, what the hell is a kid gonna get with their two dollar allowances? Oh, dad, I got you this $10 pet rock. The fuck kind of a gift is that?

Olivia: 4:40

Yeah, no, like uh here's an example, right? Like my my mom's birthday and Mother's Day are either a week apart from each other or barely two weeks apart from each other because she's the ending of April, and you Mother's Day is always in the beginning week or weekend of May. And so what my dad would do was he would ask me, be like, Oh, is there something you want to get, mom? And he would take me to maybe the jewelry stores or where or even Hallmart and buy a card and I fill out my name, you know, maybe write a cute little message and struggle, you know, spelling spelling out mom. And but he would really like set time and money aside to like go all out for her for Mother's Day and her birthday separately.

Mike: 5:38

Which is really interesting though, because I feel like if most people were in that situation, right, they would choose one or the other, or they would do something where okay, we'll do something in between both. So that way we can celebrate both for the same time because it'll cost less money and you're hitting two birds with one stone.

Olivia: 5:57

Exactly. And like, I I think we we both agree on my mom. She's very, very much like, I don't, I don't want to be a bother, please, please no, like, love that woman. But he still to this day is like, no, what do you want to do for your birthday? Okay, we're gonna do something different for Mother's Day. So it's kind of like if she wants to go get Italian on her birthday, and she also wants to go get Mexican, he'll be like, Well, which one do you want for your birthday? Because the other one is gonna be for Mother's Day. It's like he makes sure is that they're two very separate days. That's how it's always been. Even with my birthday, end of October, his birthday is like a week after mine.

Mike: 6:39

Well, your birthday is a little bit different because your birthday is Halloween. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like Which explains why you're so fucking scary half the time.

Olivia: 6:48

But same thing, my mom did the same thing, unless it was my 21st birthday and my dad turning 50. That was a very different, that was very hard for her to celebrate two big birthdays.

Mike: 6:59

Yeah.

Olivia: 7:00

But she still made my birthday, made it also Halloween, and then a week later, this woman would celebrate also my dad's birthday. Like, and then after that, we went into Christmas. So it's the maybe I lucked out in my family dynamic of just like when it's the holiday, that is the day. It is extra special, but you should be buying each other gifts, appreciating the time you have with each other and the space we all take up in each other's lives. Because like, they don't have to be my parents.

Mike: 7:40

It's funny. I thought this episode was supposed to be about Valentine's Day, but we just derailed it to Mother's Day and Father's Day. But just like how your dad is to your mom, I think in general, we should just be appreciative of our parents when they do so much for us all year round and we're giving them that one day. But then if you're a deadbeat, you just choose not to celebrate them. And how many of these relationships that are on life support on Valentine's Day, and it's still proven, I still gotta get the flowers, I still gotta go out for dinner. Like, I don't understand this whole idea of Valentine's Day, even if you hate the other person, you are ingrained to think to have to do something with them.

Olivia: 8:18

Well, like, and that's the thing, it's like, what was what's the saying? Like, happy wife, happy life.

Mike: 8:23

Like, but even then, why is it always happy wife, happy life? Like, what about happy hubby, happy chubby? Like, why do men get the short end of that stick?

Olivia: 8:34

It's it's almost like you are like, I have to make this other person happy, or else my life that's already like miserable is gonna be even worse, regardless of who it is. Like, oh, this person has to be so happy because if not, they might put a little extra rat poison in my meatloaf today. Or, oh man, I really, I really should get him like that new like toolkit, or else he's not gonna be patching up those holes anymore in the walls that we've caused in our fights.

Mike: 9:04

Like, if he's putting holes in your walls, do you really trust this man with a new hammer?

Olivia: 9:10

It's it's very weird that we it's the one day. It really is the one, even with parents. What you say, like, I hate you, mom, for the rest of the days, and then that one day you may are like, love you, mom. Love you too. Like it's you should like even with parents, you should be appreciating them is a little bit hard, like I would say different throughout the year, but that one day is like all moms, moms that were meant to be, moms that are going to be. It's like an appreciation of moms, and then even father's days, like fathers to be, are, always have been, going, like encapsulates them as like almost like a population of this mom, this dad. But like Valentine's Day is like, oh, it's for the couples. And half of those couples rather be taking the steak knife instead of cutting into the filet mignon, gutting the other person. Because it would be like I can finally have a dinner without bitching and moaning.

Mike: 10:14

I don't know. It just feels like Valentine's Day is structured where men perform and women display. Like the success metric just becomes how postable it is. It's not even necessarily malicious, it's just kind of baked into the script. And I think Valentine's Day is more structured around male effort being publicly visible. Like, when was the last time that you saw the marketing push be ladies? What grand gesture are you making for your boyfriend? It's almost like always the reverse. I don't know, it just always seems that it's what does the men do for the woman and not what does the woman do for the male in the relationship? And then it becomes a pissing contest of, oh, my boyfriend did this for me. What did your boyfriend do?

Olivia: 10:56

Yeah, it's a it's isn't it also like it feels like it was very expected, like guys buy the chocolate box tarts, and they have to get the flowers, and they also have to plan the dinner, plan the this. It's like everything's on the other person to do like basically, I feel like you guys wake up and in your head you're like, today's Valentine's Day, and I have 850,000 items I gotta get done today, or else she thinks I don't love her.

Mike: 11:28

But it's never the reverse. It's never the I don't think the girlfriend really thinks about I mean you do because you care. But like But most people I think it's just on what the guy does.

Olivia: 11:40

Yeah, it but here's here here's the other thing about it, it's a team. Like the whole point of being a couple is two people, right? It's like the ride or die, hopefully, ride or die forever team. Like it's just you and the other person navigating life and everything just together, and then on this somehow on this one day, it's like, you know what? What if you do everything and I just sit on the couch and it's almost like we force the other person to like take care of us or like be so just like today's a day on stage and the spotlight's on you. Good luck, kid.

Mike: 12:21

Well, actually, you know what? That actually kind of goes perfectly in hand with the Super Bowl, with the halftime performance, because for something that was actually meant to be performative, it seemed like people didn't even really give a shit about the actual performance. Yeah, people had a problem with it only for the fact that there was just a different native speaker than them.

Olivia: 12:39

Yeah, oh yeah, well, what what was the biggest complaint? Oh, he's speaking Spanish. I don't know what he's saying to me. Like it doesn't oh honey. Oh, well, looks like we got our third member joining us, or my cat honey. Hi, baby.

Mike: 12:57

But also, nobody gave a fuck when it was Shakira on that stage.

Olivia: 13:03

Something up a dazzled bodysuit only can convey to men.

Mike: 13:07

Like, is that where the male issue comes from? Is it's only okay when it's a woman dancing up there?

Olivia: 13:14

But here's the thing: it was uh it was men saying it too about the halftime show, but it was also women saying it. And it's like, do and we all forgot like Shakira, right? And it's so it's like so men and women are okay when it's a Spanish or you know a Latina up there in a bedazzled bodysuit cut so high on her upper thigh, and we're like, oh, that's fine. You tell me my hips don't lie. And then when you get a man version of it, it's like, oh my god, why? Which by the way, Bad Bunny was on the Shakira halftime show. For everyone who's curious, he was there in the silver bedazzled little head ban and white tuxedo. So he's been there since 2000, what, 2003, 2005?

Mike: 14:06

No, it was actually in 2020. It was uh the Chiefs, I think it was the Chiefs' first Super Bowl against the 49ers.

Olivia: 14:13

So we had uh we were absolutely fine with that. We were totally chill with that one, but God forbid this man worked his way. Talk about dedication. Years ago, he was a guest for someone else with a halftime show, and then he became the superstar, and he had other amazing artists be his guest. That like that's an incredible career right there.

Mike: 14:39

Plus, how about the fact that it was a week out from Valentine's Day and he actually had somebody married on that stage?

Olivia: 14:45

Like, imagine I would love to have been either like the fly in the wall when that email was typed out, like, yes, Benito, could you like be our wedding guest? And like imagine having to tell your wedding guest, you can't tell anyone, but this whole wedding is going to the Super Bowl now. Like, change your tickets, change your hotels, like you have to wear white because we're going to the Super Bowl. We're part of the show. Oh my god, the money that that bride saved.

Mike: 15:17

Well, think about it. All they would have to the venue's already paid for because it's you're invited to his show. So I don't think he's gonna pay have you pay to be on that stage with him unless he didn't. That's crazy. So the venue's already paid for. All you have to pay for is flights and the hotel. If and you get the entertainment for free, you're at the fucking Super Bowl.

Olivia: 15:38

But here's the other thing. What if they're all like mostly like let's say at a wedding, like usually it's mostly locals, right? So 80% let's say about 80% of the wedding party, locals just gotta drive in, just gotta get through security. So the only thing they gotta worry about is a makeup artist, as you know, getting the dress and a wedding cake, and maybe a reception hall for like the after after, you know, like they want to go out, have some dinner or something, like have have a little more extra fun. Like that is insane.

Mike: 16:12

But even then, you can kind of correlate the Super Bowl to Valentine's Day because it's this male artist, or for Valentine's Day, it's this male person. Well, I don't know. You could if if you're a gay couple, does that matter? Or like with lesbian couples, does that necessarily matter either?

Olivia: 16:33

Yeah, yeah, the person on a stage.

Mike: 16:37

So the person who's the one doing the bidding.

Olivia: 16:42

The one, you know.

Mike: 16:44

Oh mean it is so good, clucking canceled.

Olivia: 16:46

The one under the windowsill screaming, please, Juliet, let's pay attention to me.

Mike: 16:51

But it's the performer, right? The one doing the thing is the performer measured by reaction. So everybody who I mean, everybody who I have been here and watched the Super Bowl said that they loved it. Like, even the end, and it was mainly because of the ending, because he was pretty much saying it doesn't matter where you're from, we're all United.

Olivia: 17:12

Yes, but like in a way that he wasn't like, oh, we're united because United States of America, you know, and like hear a random bald eagle go, like he was like US. Like it was almost like a calling to attention, like, hey, America, Cuba, you know, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, like listing all pure, he was listing every Latin country, every single one, every island, all of that, right? And then he shows the football like we are like America. It's the symbolism of this one sport is uniting also all of us.

Mike: 17:52

But I don't know. My thing with this whole thing, so f American football is now going in Brazil, it's in Mexico, it's in uh it's gonna be in Australia next year, it's in Germany. It's already becoming a global thing. And now we get pissed off when those countries or those of those artists want to perform on the stage in the sport that they're also watching and enjoying. Yeah, and it doesn't help the fact that this guy is a fucking citizen because he's from Puerto Rico. How about all the non-citizen performers who have who performed at the Super Bowl? You two, the Rolling Stones, the Who.

Olivia: 18:28

Rihanna, the biggest one, Rihanna. Fun fact, y'all, she is not American, and yet you're like, oh my god, it's Rihanna, she's releasing your friends. But she's from that out. She's but she's but Rihanna, here's the thing is like Rihanna, Mega, Queen of Pop, right? Before Lady Gaga. And I was like, oh my god, Rihanna's performing. The tune-in for Rihanna performing was I remember coming home from work, did not watch football at all, didn't even know what who the Bills were at the time.

Mike: 19:04

You were like probably a majority of the people who tune in just to watch the halftime show or the commercials. But speaking of commercial, there wasn't even a single Doritos commercial.

Olivia: 19:15

Yeah. No, what was it? The only chip commercial was Pringles?

Mike: 19:18

I mean, the only other kind of chip I'm thinking of that I saw was AI.

Olivia: 19:22

Don't Duncan's commercial. Bit odd. That was a bit odd.

Mike: 19:27

I actually like that one. That was one of the better ones. The one with um fresh prints and f and uh cheers and hot take, no one liked it. Oh, I actually thought it was pretty funny. No, it's because you could tell it was so. I thought it was more CGI than AI. No, that was movies and companies have been using CGI forever. So what would what makes that? So when you use AI to enhance something, AI is creating an image that never existed.

Olivia: 19:55

The people weren't on set, they were using their likeness. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So they were paid probably royalties of being in the commercial to use their likeness.

Mike: 20:06

Oh, because I thought it was like when um the Irishman came out and they made Robert De Niro look younger than he was.

Olivia: 20:13

That's CGI. No, no, I thought that's what they were saying. People were noticing that the background and like how they were moving just wasn't looking normal.

Mike: 20:21

Oh, interesting.

Olivia: 20:21

That's the whole thing about using.

Mike: 20:23

So was that more of a Duncan commercial or was that more of an AI commercial?

Olivia: 20:26

Why not but porque nos dos? Truthfully, like it is both because it's promoting how far we've gone with AI because all of you submitted stuff into AI generates about art. So anything from this point forward.

Mike: 20:44

Who's you people?

Olivia: 20:45

It's the general public. Because they were just like, make me a hamburger, make me a hamburger and no onion, like make me, you know, a person, paint me a person. Oh, yeah.

Mike: 20:55

Have you seen that current trend where it's just like, given everything that you know about me and my job, make a character caricature about me?

Olivia: 21:01

Yeah, I've seen that. I'm just like, you know, it'd be amazing, you know? Why don't you go to art school? You know, why why don't you take the time and the abuse and cry over your drawing that you made of like, you know, a butterfly and be told it's worthless, you know, go through a little bit of the torment and you two could do that. Yeah, I'm still not healing from my college education.

Mike: 21:23

I went to school to study my art.

Olivia: 21:25

I went to school to study for my art and got out with a business degree. Explain that one to me.

Mike: 21:31

But even now, it feels like even the commercials are just performative. Like even with the AI. Before there was like two big ones, now there's like a thousand of them, it seems. But even then, it's really weird. Like, even the typical products that we used to see on Super Bowl ads weren't there. I saw only one Pepsi commercial, I only saw maybe a couple Budweiser commercials. As I mentioned before, there wasn't a single Doritos commercial. It seems like AI is now this new thing that. We all need to buy into.

Olivia: 22:02

It's just people on a stage being like, buy my product, buy this, buy that. It's like you're trying to you they want you to buy in on a dream.

Mike: 22:11

But I feel like it's also just a way of utilizing it as some form of social currency of hey, look at me, I'm important.

Olivia: 22:19

Yeah. It's like, mom, pay attention to me. Hey, mom, look at this. Mom, pay attention. It's like a kid, it's like a kid like in the kitchen, like, look, look, look at me, look at me, look at me. Over and over again.

Mike: 22:29

That's also low-key how I feel like it is with Valentine's Day too, though, because I think a lot of people who only care about what's going on with Valentine's Day, it's only a matter of, hey, look at me, look what this person did for me. Like it's all about me. It's not about necessarily the other person, it's about me.

Olivia: 22:50

How it's Valentine's Day, the one holiday where it's supposed to be about the couple. And it's the most selfish holiday. Where it's like, hey, pay attention to me. Look what I did for you. That's so selfish.

Mike: 23:06

Which is really funny because at the Super Bowl, it was very much not that. Where you're on one of the biggest stages. Mm-hmm. Because think about it. How many people tune into the Super Bowl? I think I saw a stat that this show was like 127 million. Last year was 133 million. And here this guy is on this stage saying that we should all be united. Mm-hmm. It wasn't about him just being on that stage and performing and trying to get more exposure for himself. This motherfucker just won a Grammy last week. You think he cares about more exposure?

Olivia: 23:36

Not even one. He won, I think like two or three. That that man walked away with a couple of Grammys. And then I what was it in the show? Like I was watching, I was like seeing on like TikTok like the the debrief of like the art on the stage, right? Of everything that happened. He in that one, remember in the halftime, he hands this Grammy to this kid that's supposed to be him receiving the Grammy, like that kid dream of like looking at the American dream of becoming something. Oh he hands his kid like talk about self-healing on stage. Handing like the physical kid, quote unquote, kid version of himself a Grammy. Like, you did it. You did it. You made it. Oh, that's actually really sweet. And all these people, like, oh my god, he's Spanish.

Mike: 24:28

That man Meanwhile, they have no problem listening to Feliz Navidad every Christmas.

Olivia: 24:33

Yeah, I see you, Deborah.

Mike: 24:35

Yeah, especially when you have absolutely no problem drinking margaritas and eating on Taco Tuesday, but you have every problem in the world with this one guy fucking singing Spanish in the Super Bowl. An event that you probably don't even give a fuck about 90% of the year until the day happens. Like, how many football games you watch during the year before the Super Bowl? I guarantee like 60% of you people don't even give a fuck about the the sport itself.

Olivia: 25:02

I didn't even really start watching the games until we started living together. Couldn't have told you anything about these teams, but I'll tell you one thing. I wasn't really paying attention, was I?

Mike: 25:14

I was mostly reading my books, wasn't I? Alright, well, speaking of book, I think this chapter's just about wrapped up. So I think we saw Valentine's. Did we? No. But we talked about it. Alright, nobody stab anybody on Valentine's Day. I hope whatever you guys do is fun. Enjoy it. Do whatever it is that you want to do. Even if you don't have a Valentine, fucking jerk off alone in your bed. Because if nobody's gonna love you, at least you can love yourself. Alright, we'll catch up next week.