Embracing the Moment Beyond Second Guesses

Have you ever packed your bags for a vacation, only to unpack them before even stepping out the door? That's a story I, Pamela Gonsolin, know all too well, and it's just a taste of what we unpack on the premiere of Overthinkers Anonymous. Join me as we navigate the twists and turns of our own minds, weaving through the stories and strategies that can lead us from the entrapment of over-analysis to the liberation of decisive action. I bring my personal insights as a pastor, counselor, life coach, and motivational speaker, along with the unwavering support of my family, to guide you toward a life less riddled with the 'what ifs' and more abundant in the 'what is'.

This episode isn't just about baring our overthinking souls; it's about transforming them. From the tale of a missed adventure in Cabo San Lucas to the everyday decisions we second-guess, we'll confront the power our thoughts hold over our lives. With each other's reassurance and a commitment to actionable change, we fortify our resolve to not let overthinking dictate our paths. So, tune in and become part of a community that's striving for a healthier thought life, and let's collectively step into the next meeting ready to embrace the beauty of living in the moment.

Chapters

• 0:02 Overthinkers Anonymous Podcast Episode 1
• 16:25 Overcoming Overthinking
• 26:25 Promoting a Healthy Thought Life

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

I've been up and down for so long. Crazy how right can become so wrong. The thoughts in my head Keep me on a constant rollercoaster and I just want some peace. Tonight Feels like my heart done, left me stranded, just floating away on a melody, leaving me to all my tears. I just hope somebody here's landed Sides to come and rescue me, cause I've been through so many and the only way to get past the pain Are the prayers that pray to keep my sanity. Tell me, have you ever been caught up in your mind, so unaware of time, cause you can't stop thinking, oh, and it feels like You're breaking down inside. You wanna let it ride, but you can't, cause you're overthinking it all. Am I really as good as I think I am, or am I starting in my mind like I'm starting on the ground? Father, please tell me again, cause your voice is so felfed, but in Only days when I'm thinking with you, even after you said that I went. Tell me walk bold, cause you're queen and I'm loving how you dream and your representation. No, you ain't perfect, but, baby, you gon' make it. Yeah, yeah, baby girl, you gon' make it. Still, stop overthinking.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Welcome to Overthinkers Anonymous, and I am your host, pam Gonsolin. I'm so excited that you guys are joining me for the very first episode of Overthinkers Anonymous Podcast, and if you know anything about an overthinker, that is a great feat in and of itself. Listen, I have been thinking of starting this podcast for at least a year, maybe even a year and a half now, and so, as overthinkers, we will think and think and think and never get anything done, and so I'm very excited that I'm beginning the very first episode of Overthinkers Anonymous. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a worthy of a celebration. Woo-hoo, come on, give it up right now for that, for the very first episode of Overthinkers Anonymous.

Speaker 1: 3:03

And so, as I said earlier, my name is Pamela Gonsolin and I hail from the great state of Louisiana. I am a pastor, a counselor, a life coach, a motivational and inspirational speaker. I have a wonderful husband who is my partner in life. A lot of who I am is because of him, and I owe him a debt of gratitude, because if anybody has my back, I know that he does. This man really, really takes care of his wife. If I would tell you the lint that he goes to to make sure that I'm taking care of, some of you would be quite surprised. I also have four beautiful children who are all grown now. They're grown. They've all graduated high school. They've all gone through college and graduated college. One of them has even gone through and completed medical school and is now a practicing physician. I have another who is also an engineer. Right now I have four exceptionally great grandchildren, and guess what? I am blessed. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful and beautiful family and such a wonderful support system.

Speaker 1: 4:30

And so why did I start this podcast? I started this podcast Because I realized that I had an issue with overthinking, and I also noticed that there were a lot of other people who struggled with the same thing. So I wanted to create a platform that we could come together collectively and not only discuss our issues but work through our issues, because it does us no good to simply discuss it If we're not going to take steps to try and correct it and solve the issue. This podcast is designed to be an anonymous, no-judgment, open platform that we can discuss what is causing us in a turmoil. There's a lot of us that are experiencing inner turmoil and we have no place to go and discuss it. We have nowhere to go. That will be a listening ear, that will be a soundboard for us, and that's what I want this platform to be.

Speaker 1: 5:43

I also wanted to be a space of encouragement, where you can come and receive encouragement. You can come and receive positive affirmation. You'll hear affirming words, you'll hear encouraging words that you can use to propel your life forward, mind forward, because we always want to continuously be moving and progressing forward, and so I want to provide a platform that gives you the positive affirmation that you need, that gives you the encouragement that you need to be able now to continue to grow, to continue to flourish, to continue now to expand your knowledge, expand your insight, expand your understanding. You know, because we have to continue to learn. We have to continue to learn. It said that the greatest space that we have in life is the greatest room we have in life is the room for improvement, and so we should always be looking to improve improve on who we are, improve on how we are and how we function and how we go about our daily lives. We should always be seeking to grow, and so that's my desire for this platform, and as I look back over my life, I realize that I've had an issue with overthinking.

Speaker 1: 7:26

Since my teens, and maybe even before that, I can remember being in my room and just sitting and just thinking and I would just think and think for hours and I would just sit alone, sometimes in the dark, and I would just be sitting and I would be thinking and just thinking and I would have all kinds of thoughts that would be going through my mind. Now, it's perfectly okay to sit and to think. It's perfectly okay to think and to ponder on things. To think on things, ponder on your life, ponder and think on the direction that your life is going in. It's perfectly okay to sit and think. You should sit and think some things through. We shouldn't be acting and responding hastily, but we should be responding after that. We have carefully thought through some things.

Speaker 1: 8:26

But the problem comes in when we begin to think and we begin to ponder too long. We begin to think too much, we begin to think too long. There's a saying that says if you think long, you think wrong. How many of you have ever heard of that? If you think long, you think wrong.

Speaker 1: 8:53

In school, the teacher used to say when you were taking a test, they would advise you that if you get stumped by a question on the test, they would say go with your first answer, go with your first mind. Whatever the answer, the first answer that came into your mind, go with that answer. Why? Because usually your first answer, your first mind, is the right answer. But if you sit there and you keep on thinking and you keep on thinking about it, you're gonna talk yourself out of the right answer and end up getting the question wrong. How many times has that happened to you? That's happened to me quite a few times. I knew the answer as soon as I got to the question, but then, because I sat there and began to question, I began to doubt, I began to think and kept thinking it over, thought myself into putting the wrong answer and ended up getting the question wrong.

Speaker 1: 9:58

So I would often find myself thinking, I would often find myself overthinking. I would think so much that I would often find myself depressed. I would find myself sometimes, a lot of times, angry because I was thinking so much. I had so many thoughts in my head, so many thoughts replaying over and over and over in my head, and every time I thought about them I got angrier and angrier. Every time I thought about them, I got sadder and sadder. Every time I thought about them, I got more depressed and more depressed. It was just like a tape recorder going off over and over, just replaying over and over in my mind. Anybody ever had that issue, anybody struggling with that, even today, with that same issue, where you're sitting and you, just you think, and it's like a tape recorder going off over and over in your mind, replaying itself over and over.

Speaker 1: 11:05

And so I would be depressed and I would be angry, because I didn't have a language now to express what it was that I was thinking and I didn't have the courage to speak about it. See, all of this was happening in my head. Nobody can see what's happening in your head. Nobody knows what's taking place in your head. See, that's why I call it overthinkers anonymous, because you can be walking around and you can be overthinking every issue that you're going through, that you're facing, and nobody will even know. And nobody will even know because they can't see what's going on in your head. Nobody knew what I was, what was going on in my head, nobody knew the issues in the battle that I was facing in my mind with overthinking. And so that would leave me now feeling some type of way I would be. You know it's like you're thinking and you're thinking you know I would be in.

Speaker 1: 12:10

For instance, I would want to go somewhere. I can remember we used to have dances. I don't know if you all had dances. We used to have dances or get together that we would go to. As young people, as teenagers, and I would want to go to these things. But then I would think about what would have. Nobody likes me, what would have such and such don't like me. Well, what if you know they don't like me and you know they want to fight with me? And so I would let those things, I would think and think and think and I would let those thoughts dictate my actions. And so what would happen would be I would just stay home, even though I really wanted to go. I really wanted to be a part of the get-togethers and the gatherings, but because I didn't know how people would take me, I didn't know if people would receive me or they would reject me, I would talk myself out of it and stay home. How many of you that have ever happened to you've ever experienced that type of thing where you would, you want to be a part of things but you just talk yourself out of it. Well, maybe I'm not going to enjoy it. Maybe maybe they're not going to like me. Well, maybe they don't even really want me to come. They just said they wanted me to come, but they don't really want me to come. They don't really want me there. Well, maybe they don't really want to be my friend. How do I know that they want to?

Speaker 1: 13:38

It's just thoughts that and thoughts just plague in your mind over and over and you just think it off and your thoughts just run away with you. Anybody, you thoughts just ever ran away with you. Just one thought led, led to another thought and led to another thought, and it just after a while you sometimes you find yourself going down a rabbit hole and you got to reel yourself back in, if you can. Sometimes we can't even realize that back in sometimes. We get out there sometimes, and so you know that'll leave you feeling some type of way. You know about yourself, about your situation. It just you know it puts you in a quandary, it puts you in a difficult, in a uncomfortable place, uncomfortable place.

Speaker 1: 14:28

So all of that was happening in my formative years, my teenage years, young adult years. All of that was happening fast forward now to about maybe five to ten years ago, maybe by five or so years ago, my husband and I were getting ready to celebrate a wedding anniversary. We were getting ready to celebrate a wedding anniversary, so I wanted to plan a trip for just the two of us. I decided that we would take a trip to Cabo San Lucas. Anybody ever heard of Cabo San Lucas? It is beautiful beautiful beaches, beautiful scenery, beautiful people, just an all around wonderful time. I decided that we would take a trip for our anniversary to Cabo San Lucas and we would enjoy the beach and enjoy the sunshine, and enjoy the sights and enjoy one another. And so I picked out a resort, I found flights. I even picked out a beautiful white dress that I was going to wear because I had made plans to renew our vows right there on the beach. I had, I had it all laid out. I had all of those plans laid out. I put all my credit card info in and all I had left to do was click the submit button. That's all I had left to do. I had big plans. Somebody said big, big plans. It was going to be beautiful, renewing our wedding vows. I had a beautiful flowing white dress that I was going to be able to wear on the beach and we were just going to have a wonderful time and just enjoy ourselves, just the two of us.

Speaker 1: 16:25

But before I hit that submit button, guess what I did? I started thinking. I started thinking about Uh well, how is the crime in Cabo San Lucas? Is it safe to go there? What's the crime rate over there? How are the people in Cabo San Lucas? How is the culture over there? You know, this is Mexico and they have cartels and you know they, they kidnap people, especially Americans. And so I start pulling up all the crime stats, and I start pulling up stats, all the stats on the people and the culture, etc. And I just started looking, you know, at some things that I started seeing where there were cartels that were active, you know, around in the area and they were, you know, doing some different things. They were doing some killings and different things like that.

Speaker 1: 17:26

And so, uh, when I began to see all of those things, I did so much thinking that I thought myself right out of that trip. Yes, I did, I thought myself right out of it. Uh, I thought so much I began to overthink the thing, instead of just thinking that it's going to be a wonderful time for my husband and I to enjoy and that we could go there and that you know, while we were there, that God was going to be able to keep us safe, and instead of thinking that I start overthinking it of what's going to happen and you know. And so I overthought it and I decided that it was just too dangerous to go there. I decided that because I didn't know what was going to happen once I got there, that no, I'm not going. We're not going Now. I want you to watch what happened. Watch what happened After I talked myself out of the trip.

Speaker 1: 18:29

About a month or so went by and I was scrolling on Facebook and I saw a local couple listen at this from right here in the same city as me. Number one a local couple from right here in the same city as me. As a matter of fact, they were also pastors, just like us. Number two. So, number one, they're from the same city. Number two there were pastors just like us. And guess what they did? They went to Cabo San Lucas to celebrate their wedding anniversary Number three, which was exactly like what we wanted to do, and their wedding anniversary was either on the exact same date, or it was as I was, or it was very close to it. It was right around in that same time. If I'm not mistaken, it was the same date, number four. And guess what? Not only did they go to Cabo and to celebrate their wedding anniversary, but they also decided to renew their vows on the beach, the same place that I said. I wanted to go and renew my wedding vows, and I kid you not, she, the woman, the wife, had on the exact same dress that I had picked out for myself. Ladies and gentlemen, I was blown away.

Speaker 1: 20:17

It was at that moment that I realized that I had a problem with overthinking. That's when I realized so. I had been going through and struggling and dealing with this for most of my life, but it wasn't until a few years ago, after that particular event took place, that I realized that I had a problem with overthinking, because I sat there and I allowed myself to talk myself out of a wonderful trip and sat back and watched another couple go and take the exact trip, do the exact same thing, wear the exact same thing that I was planning to do, and guess what? They came right back home safe and sound. Nothing happened. I overthought it. I overthought it, and that is why we have today the Overthinkers Anonymous Podcast. That's why.

Speaker 1: 21:32

So my name is Pam and I am an overthinker. How many of you can say the same thing? You're not afraid to admit that you're an overthinker. Raise your hand and say it out loud to yourself. Come on, say it. My name is whatever Insert your name and I am an overthinker. Come on, the first step is admitting it. Your first step is realizing it and admitting it. It's no shame in it. There's no shame in it. The reason that we're all listening, it's because we all have the same issue. Right, the reason that you're listening to me now is probably because you have the same issue. You're having an issue with overthinking. So you're not alone. You're not by yourself in this thing. There are others who are struggling just like you. There's multiple, a multiplicity of people that are struggling just like you.

Speaker 1: 22:44

I would venture to say that each of us, at some point in time, has an issue with overthinking. Each of us have overthought some things at some point in time in our lives. So you know what I want you to do. I want you to go ahead and exhale, exhale, just let it go, because you've been stressing and you've been worrying and you've been fretting and doubting yourself. So exhale and just let it all go. Let it all go. You've been waiting to exhale, exhale and let it all go, and together we will do the work so that we can overcome. I want you to speak to yourself and I want you to say it.

Speaker 1: 23:44

Say I will do the work to overcome. I will do the work to overcome, because it's going to take some work, but guess what it can be done. It can be done when there is a will. Guess what, there is a way. And so if you've got a will to do, then guess what there is a way to get it done. If you want to overcome, then there is a way that it can be done and we are going to do the work so that we can overcome.

Speaker 1: 24:28

Are you with me? Are you ready to do the work to overcome, to overcome this overthinking that goes on in our heads? Are you ready to do the work? It's going to take some work, but you can do it. I have every confidence in you that you can do it, that you can make it through and you can get out of your own head, you can stop letting your thoughts run away with you and control your thinking, control your thoughts. I have every confidence that, instead of your thoughts controlling you, that you can control your thoughts. We're going to get to that point. We can get to that place that we can have healthy thoughts, that we can have a healthy dialogue that's taking place within ourselves, a healthy dialogue that's taking place within us. And so that's all I have for today.

Speaker 1: 25:40

I simply wanted to introduce you to who I am and what this podcast is all about. So, after this, guess what it's up from here. It's up from here. After this, it's up from here. We're going to get into some stuff. You hear me, but it's going to be some good stuff. It's going to be some necessary stuff that's going to get us going in the right direction, to seeing our dreams and our visions come to pass. It's going to get us moving in the right direction to having a healthy thought life.

Speaker 1: 26:25

A healthy thought life Because a healthy thought life leads to healthy and correct actions. See, some of us have had wrong reactions and wrong actions because we've had wrong thoughts before. Actions are preceded by thoughts. Your thoughts dictate your actions. Your thoughts dictate your actions, your thoughts dictate what you do, and so, because you haven't had a healthy thought life, you've not been moving correctly, you've not had the correct actions, corresponding actions. But I believe that if you continue to follow this podcast, that you're going to be able to work through those issues and you're going to be able to work towards a healthy thought life and overcoming your overthinking. That's all I have for today. I'm Pamela Gonsolin. Thank you for tuning in today to Overthinkers Anonymous Podcast. See you next Monday at 7 pm when a brand new episode is going to drop. See you then.