OVERTHINKERS ANONYMOUS
This podcast is for any and everyone who struggles with overthinking or “getting out of their own head” . It is a no judgement, anonymous, and open platform that we can collectively discuss what is causing us inner turmoil. It will also be a space of encouragement and positive affirmation that you can use to propel your life forward.
OVERTHINKERS ANONYMOUS
Navigating the Labyrinth of Self-Worth and Silent Overthoughts
Embark on a transformative exploration of the mind with me, Pam Gonsolin, as we unravel the ties between self-esteem and overthinking. This episode promises to illuminate the hidden connections that influence our daily struggle with an overactive mind, focusing on the profound truth that our sense of self-worth is deeply embedded in who we are, not just what we've achieved. As we journey through an honest self-assessment, we cast aside the damaging labels put upon us by others and forge a path to rediscover our integrity and intrinsic value. Rebuilding a robust self-image is no easy feat, but it's a crucial step toward liberation from the shackles of relentless doubt and second-guessing.
Venturing further into the realm of personal battles, we tackle the daunting phenomenon of spiraling, where negative thoughts feed into our vulnerabilities, threatening to erode our self-esteem. Yet, it's within this darkness that we find the strength to reclaim our joy and confidence. The episode is elevated with the wisdom of Dr. Ashalie Gonsoulin, whose expertise on spiraling prepares us for an enlightening discussion in our next meeting. As we conclude, I extend an invitation to subscribe and share this journey with friends who are also grappling with the grip of overanalysis. Join us in this community of growth and affirmation, as we stand united in the belief of our own worth and the power we possess to navigate the complexities of our thoughts.
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If you need a Life Coach or Mentor to support you on your journey to freedom reach out to me @pamelagonsoulin@att.net
I've been up and down for so long. Crazy how right can become so wrong. The thoughts in my head Keep me on a constant rollercoaster and I just want some peace. Tonight Feels like my heart done, left me stranded, just floating away on a melody, leaving me to all my tears. I just hope somebody here's landed Sides to come and rescue me, cause I've been through so many and the only way to get past the pain Are the prayers that pray to keep my sanity. Tell me, have you ever been caught up in your mind, so unaware of time Cause you can't stop thinking, oh, and it feels like you're breaking down inside. You wanna let it ride, but you can't, cause you're overthinking it all.
Speaker 1:Hello, hello, and I'm Pam Gonsolin, and thanks for listening to Into the Overthinkers Anonymous Podcast. Do me a favor and go download and subscribe to my podcast now. You can do so by clicking the link in the description box. Each week, we will be discussing relevant topics that will help you not only shift your life to another level, but overcome your overthinking as well. So go like and subscribe now.
Speaker 1:So let's do a brief recap of last week. On last week, we left off with a discussion about self-esteem. We asked the question how is your self-esteem, what do you think of yourself, how do you feel about yourself? What you think and believe about yourself will determine what your esteem will be. If you think highly of yourself, if you think that you have value, then your esteem is likely in the right place. It's likely a high esteem. If you think little of yourself, place no value on yourself, feel undeserving, then your esteem is likely low. We also said on last week we talked about how your esteem, the foundation for your esteem, was built in your childhood, while you were a child, in your formative years that served as the foundation for whatever your self-esteem is today, unless you have had some progressive work done, you've had some progressive therapy done to be able to overcome those things. And so the formative years they serve to build and they serve as a foundation of our self-esteem.
Speaker 1:And so if you grew up in a family that did not affirm you, if you grew up in a family that was highly critical, if you grew up in a family that didn't pay much attention to you, you were abused. If you know, all of those things took place and plus many others, if those were some of the things that happened to you during your childhood, during your upbringing, your formative years, then those situations serve as a foundation for low self-esteem. By contrast, if you grew up in a family that listened to your concerns, listened to how you felt, affirmed you were supportive of you, were there and showed love and appreciation to you, then if that was your family schematic, then that foundation was laid for what is known as high self-esteem or a correct self-esteem. And so we have to look at the total picture. So sometimes you're going to have to go back and look at where you began. You're going to have to go back and look at where you began. You're going to have to look at your formative years so that you can now be able to do some renovation on it, have renovation and restoration done so that you can move on in the future to a better day.
Speaker 1:And so we also talked about last week that you are not your mistakes and you are not your failures, and that we should stop yoking our esteem to our failures or our successes. You are not your failures, you are not your successes. You are not what you do. You're not what you do, but you are who you are. The essence of who you are is not determined by what you do, but the essence of who you are is determined by what kind of person you are. Your character, your integrity that's what determines what type of person you are, and so stop yoking your esteem to your failures and your successes. I hope that on last week, I hope that you gave the thought to the assignment that was given at the end of the podcast and that you took time to sit and do an honest self-evaluation and that you have begun to discover just who you really are.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we're functioning and we're operating and we don't really know who we really are, and it's because we haven't really taken the time to sit and discover who we are. We've allowed ourselves to be defined and to be labeled by others. But who do you say you are? Who are you? Who are you really? Are you really the type of person that everybody else says that you are? Are you somebody else different? Are you the type of person that they labeled you to be when you are in school? Are you somebody else totally different?
Speaker 1:So sometimes, each and every one of us, I believe, is going to have to take time to have a self-evaluation, a sit down, and to honestly evaluate who we are. You've got to discover just who you really are. And then, when you can discover just who you really are, then you can begin to build on that. You can begin to build on that because you've got a correct foundation. So let's get into what I want to talk to you about on today, which is how does my self-esteem affect my overthinking, how does my self-esteem affect my overthinking? And then I want to give you some keys to rebuilding and restoring your self-esteem, because it can be restored, it can be rebuilt, so let's get into it. Let's get into it. So the question is today how does my esteem affect my overthinking?
Speaker 1:Your self-esteem is a reflection of your self-worth. It's what you believe about who you are, it's your opinion of yourself, and so if your opinion of yourself is low, it lends itself to feelings of inadequacy, awkwardness, doubt, no confidence. Have you struggled with those types of feelings? Do you feel inadequate? Do you feel awkwardness when you're in social situations, when you're on your job, when you have to talk to your boss or whoever? Do you feel an awkwardness? Do you feel a doubt? Do you doubt yourself? Do you have no confidence?
Speaker 1:When there are feelings of inadequacy, you don't feel competent enough to make decisions. See, when you feel inadequate, you don't feel confident enough to make decisions. You have no confidence in your decision. You doubt your decisions and so decisions about your life, what you should do, who you should be, what you can accomplish, decisions about your family, your children you will always struggle with feeling that somehow your feelings and decisions are wrong. Anybody ever felt like that. You feel like your feelings. You feel like your decisions are wrong. You feel like they're wrong. You doubt your decisions. You have no confidence in your decisions. This is where the overthinking comes in, because what's happening is there's a constant debate going on inside of your head of whether or not your decision is right or wrong. Should I do it or should I not? Should I go or should I stay? So there's a constant battle, a constant debate going on inside of your head about your decisions. Because you don't feel competent enough, you don't feel you don't feel adequate enough to make the decision or the determination. You feel like you have a lot of doubt. You doubt your decision making. You doubt in yourself. You doubt in that you really know what you're talking about. You doubt in that you're smart enough. You doubt in that you really know how to do it and get it done. You doubt in all those things, and so when you're overthinking, it's a constant debate going on inside of your head of whether your decision is right or wrong. So on one hand, you feel like your decision or your thought is right and then on the other hand, you feel like it's wrong.
Speaker 1:You second guess everything. Anybody like that that second guess everything. I'm a second guesser, I will second guess. I second guess a whole lot of things. I've learned now to be able to go with my first thought. I've learned to go with my first mind because when I second guess, it causes me to delay. Anybody else like that. When I second guess, it causes me to miss out on opportunities. It causes me to miss out on things that could have benefited me.
Speaker 1:When I second guess myself Anybody like that. You second guess everything. Everything in your mind has to be a relentless energy draining debate. Anybody like that? Everything has to be a relentless energy draining debate in your mind. It's draining. It's draining to have to debate this debate going on inside of your head over and over and over. Constantly thinking of the same things over and over, constantly debating should I or should I not? Will I or won't I? Constantly debating, second guessing everything. Well, I feel like this is the right thing to do, but maybe I'm wrong. Well, I feel like I should go this way, but maybe I shouldn't. Just like I told you about that trip that I wanted to take. I knew I wanted to take the trip, I knew I wanted to celebrate our anniversary, but I start second guessing Well, should I go? Should I go to this place? Maybe something might happen? Second guessing, second guessing Anybody. Struggle with that second guessing.
Speaker 1:I want to let you know that you're not alone, because there are many of us that are facing this relentless, energy draining debate in our minds. And all of this is being fueled by guess what? Your low self-esteem, by not valuing yourself, because if you truly value yourself, then you would have confidence in your decision-making ability and in your decisions. See, if you truly value yourself, you would feel free to make decisions, you would feel free to feel the way that you feel Free to have whatever it is in your heart to have and to do, and there would be no more second guessing or doubting. Did you know that you have every right to feel the way that you feel? Nobody can tell you how you should feel. Guess why? Because they're your feelings. They're your feelings, so nobody can tell you how you should feel. They're your feelings.
Speaker 1:Remember I said that each of us are individual people. We're all unique. There's no two people alike, so there's no two people that's going to always feel the same. There's no two people that's always going to think the same. So just because I don't feel like you feel, that doesn't mean what I feel is wrong, and just because you don't feel like I feel, that doesn't mean what you feel is wrong. But it just means that we are two individual people and we each have our own feelings. And you know.
Speaker 1:It's time for us now to get to a place where we feel free to feel the way that we feel. We feel free to make the decisions that we make. Listen, it's time for you to free yourself. Free yourself from the bondage that you've placed yourself in in your mind. Feel free to make whatever decision that you would like to make. And however the chips fall, that's how it falls. Wherever the chips may fall, that's how it falls. But it was your decision to make and you had every right to make that decision. You have every right to have whatever is in your heart to have and to do. And when we can begin to feel like that about ourselves, there won't be any more second guessing, there won't be any more doubting, no, there won't be any more of that.
Speaker 1:Low self-esteem, low self-confidence, is one of the most common causes of overthinking. That's one of the most common causes. So, are you overthinking because you have no confidence in yourself? Is that why you're overthinking? Are you thinking because you have low self-esteem? You don't think that you're valuable, you don't think that you deserve anything. Is that why you're overthinking? Because something inside of you tells you that you are worth it, but then something else says no, maybe I'm not. And so that's that battle going on, that's that debate going on inside of your head. See, when low self-esteem and low self-confidence is the cause of your overthinking, it has the ability to further diminish your self-worth. It can further diminish your self-worth. In other words, when you have low self-esteem to begin with, low self-confidence, and it's causing you to overthink, it further diminishes you because it causes you to feel even worse. You feel even worse now because you're not able to make a decision. So you're beating yourself up because you're not able to make a decision. You're beating yourself up because you're unable to move forward with something. You're beating yourself up because you're unable to stop the debate that's going on 24-7 in your mind. So now you're beating yourself up, you're blaming yourself. Now know what that's called. That's called spiraling. That's called spiraling Because it's a. It goes from one extreme to the next and it just continues to go downhill from there. It just continues to go downhill. It's called spiraling.
Speaker 1:Coming up in the next week or two, I'm going to have my daughter join me and her name is Dr Ashley Gonsolin, and I want her to come on and we're going to discuss with you guys spiraling Because I think it's very important to discuss. I don't hear many people talk and elaborate a lot about it, but I want to talk about it because I want to help you to get out of the spiral. I want to help you to stop spiraling. I want to help you to come out of the endless debate that's draining and sucking all of your energy. I want to help you to be free today because there is still hope. There is still hope you can be free. There is still hope for you. All is not lost. You can rebuild and restore your self-esteem. Your confidence in yourself can be reestablished. It may take some time. It may take some work. It'll be a step-by-step process, but rest assured it can be done and you can do it.
Speaker 1:I know that at times it seems dark, but sometimes you have to go into the dark places so that we can define them. Sometimes we got to go into the dark places so that we can define them and then we'll be able to bring light. We'll be able to bring the light which will illuminate our dark places and cause them to be dark no more. Doesn't that sound good? Doesn't that sound great? We're going to put a pin in it right here. I want it to go further, but we're going to put a pin right here because I sense a need to stop right here and encourage you to not be afraid to confront the dark areas of your life.
Speaker 1:Don't be afraid. It's the dark areas, the unknown, the things that we don't want to face, the things that we don't want to deal with that are shaking our self-esteem, that are rattling our self-confidence and causing us to overthink. That's what it is. It's being unwilling to confront the dark places, the unknown areas, and bring light to them. See, once you bring light and illumination to a dark place. It's no longer dark. It's no longer dark, it's no longer a threat to you, it's no longer unknown, because the light has been turned on it.
Speaker 1:And so don't be afraid to confront the dark areas, because at the other end is freedom. At the other end of the dark area, of the unknown area, there is freedom. At the other end is happiness. At the other end is fulfillment. At the other end is everything that you have ever dreamed could be possible at the other end. But you've got to go through it. You've got to confront it and then go through it to get to the other side. So don't be afraid. It might hurt for a moment, but there can be joy on the other end. There is a life free from overthinking on the other side. There's a life free from overthinking on the other side. It may be dark on this side, but if you are able to confront that darkness and move past it, move through it, there's light. There's light at the end of the tunnel, mm-hmm. There's joy at the end of the tunnel. There's happiness, freedom at the end of the tunnel, there's fulfillment at the end of the tunnel. And you can do it. I know that you can. I've said this over and over. I have every confidence that you can do it, that you can have everything that you've ever dreamed of become possible. I know that you can do it.
Speaker 1:So take a moment this week and sit with all of what we have shared in this podcast this week and last week, and then next week we're gonna come in and pick up where we left off, because I wanna get into, I wanna talk about spiraling, I wanna talk about spiraling and Dr Ashley Gonsolin is gonna be here and she's gonna talk with us and share with us about spiraling. And I want you to remember, above all, that you are valuable. You are valuable, you are worth it all. Not only are you worth something, you are worth it all. You are guess what? You're good enough. You're more than good enough. You are great. So I want you to think about that. I want you to believe that. I want you to believe that in your heart. Matter of fact, say it to yourself this week, if you gotta, write yourself a sticky note and put it by your mirror so you can see it when you wake up in the morning. I am valuable. I am worth something. I do deserve it. Write yourself a sticky note and put it up there so you can see it. I am somebody and I am an overcomer. I want you to remember that this week and we're gonna pick up right here where we left off on next week Can't wait for next week. Be sure, and join me then.
Speaker 1:In the meantime, this is Pam Gonsolin and you've been tuned in to the Overthinkers Anonymous podcast. Share this podcast with somebody that you know might need to hear these things. Share it, subscribe. Go ahead and subscribe. Hit the subscribe link in the description box. Hit the subscribe link and share this podcast with someone else that you know is struggling with the same things that you're struggling with. I'll see you again here on next week. I still stop overthinking, and you were Been caught up in your mind, so unaware of time Cause you can't stop thinking of.