Navigating the Storm of Thoughts Through the Harbor of Connection

Have you ever found yourself spiraling down a rabbit hole of relentless thoughts, grasping for the tranquility that seems just out of reach? I've been there, wading through the mental fog and yearning for a lifeline. In our latest episode of Overthinkers Anonymous, I take you on an intimate voyage into the heart of overthinking and reveal why the warmth of human connection is an indispensable beacon in the storm. Together, we'll uncover the profound influence a support system has in steering us toward mental equilibrium and how, in the undulating tides of life and the complexities of our relationships, we're reminded that our shared human experiences are threads that bind us.

Venturing beyond the allure of solitude, today's conversation beckons you to embrace the strength found in community. Each of us has danced with the shadow of isolation, a partner that only tightens the grips of overanalysis. But in reaching out, we fan the flames of fellowship, igniting a path to balance and well-being. As your guide and fellow journeyer through these tangled thoughts, I offer not only my story but also a space for us to gather—virtual hands to hold in the dark, and voices to echo our own. We are all wayfarers in this expedition, and it's through our collective wisdom that we can find peace amid the whirlwind of our minds.

Chapters

• 0:02 Support System for Overthinkers
• 21:30 Overcoming Isolation to Find Support

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

I've been up and down for so long. Crazy how right can become so wrong. The thoughts in my head Keep me on a constant rollercoaster and I just want some peace. Tonight Feels like my heart done, left me stranded, just floating away on a melody, leaving me to all my tears. I just hope somebody hears and decides to come and rescue me, cause I've been through some pain and the only way to get past the pain are the prayers that pray to keep my sanity. Tell me, have you ever been caught up in your mind, been caught up in your mind so unaware of time Cause you can't stop thinking, oh, and it feels like You're breaking down inside. You wanna let it ride, but you can't because you're overthinking it all.

Speaker 1: 1:38

Welcome to the Overthinkers Anonymous podcast, and I am your host, pam Gonsolin. Thank you so much for joining me today. It is certainly a pleasure to have you tuned into this podcast and it is my hope that I can give you some hope and provide you with the necessary help and tools to conquer your overthinking. Do me a favor and subscribe to this podcast in the description box that you can click on to subscribe, and you will never miss an episode and always be in the know concerning Overthinkers Anonymous. So today I want to talk to you about a support system. A support system A support system is a network of people who can provide you with practical or emotional support. Today, I want to talk about the importance of having a support system in place, because, while you are the only person who can change you, you can't do it alone. There needs to be somebody or some bodies who can help you to walk through this process, because you're the only person that can change you. You're the only one that can make the decision and then follow through with making the changes, but then there are others that will come along to assist you in your decision and in your process of changing. That's where a support system comes into play, because having a support system is very important and crucial to your process.

Speaker 1: 3:22

We aren't meant to walk through life alone. That's why we have spouses, we have loved ones, we have family, we have friends, because a part of their reason for being in our lives is to walk through life with us. We weren't meant to journey through life alone and to be alone. We were meant to be in communion and in fellowship with others. We're meant to have others walk alongside of us, and when you have others that walk alongside of you and walk with you, that you fellowship with, that makes life much more enjoyable. It can make life much more easier, it can make life much more tolerable and bearable, because you've got somebody walking with you. You've got somebody that's helping you through this process, helping you through this journey called life. That's what a spouse is supposed to do, that's what a friend is supposed to do, that's what family is supposed to do. They're supposed to walk through life with us and help us to enjoy life along the way.

Speaker 1: 4:38

And so, at various times, the people in your life that you're walking with, they may change up, so it may not be the same people all the time. You may not have the same people in your life at all seasons, all the different seasons in your life, because life is about seasons. We go through different things at different times. No two people are alike, so all of us are not going through the same seasons at the same times, but yet we're all passing through different seasons, different challenges in life. And so then, if you're walking through a challenge right now that I've already walked through, then I could come along and assist you. I can be of help to you to let you know how I was able to make it through that season. And so, at various times, the people that are walking with you may change up. They may change up, they may change up. I might be able to walk with you through the process, through this season, but then the next season, maybe our friendship might shift and somebody else may be able to come into the picture and walk with you through the next season.

Speaker 1: 6:02

Or there may even be a season that you may face where you're walking alone, but guess what? That's only for a season, only for a season. So you will face seasons of walking alone, but you weren't meant to walk alone forever. You weren't meant to walk alone forever. You weren't meant to be alone forever. If we were meant to be alone, then why were there other people created? Why are there other people here? If we were meant to be alone? If you know anything about, if you heard the Bible story of Adam and Eve, if Adam was meant to be alone, why was Eve even created? Because he needed companionship, he needed fellowship with someone else. And so there may be times where you are walking alone. Maybe you may have to walk through some alone seasons, but notice that I said it's for a season, it's not always, it's not permanent. And so, in speaking about walking alone, I want to talk about loneliness.

Speaker 1: 7:17

Loneliness Loneliness is the quality of being unfrequented, meaning you're not having frequent fellowship, you're not having frequent communication with others, you're isolated. Loneliness is being alone and feeling sad about it. Feeling sad about it, so you're not just alone, but then you're sad about it, you're sad about it, you're isolated and you're sad about it. You have infrequent and unfrequent communication with others. Loneliness, being alone, is a major contributing factor to overthinking. If you are unable to regulate you, then you have to have someone that can help you to regulate you. That's where other people come into place, that's where an accountability partner comes into place, that's where others come into place, because if it's just you, if it's just you alone, by yourself, you have no one else that can help to regulate. You See, because the problem of the overthinkers is being able to regulate their thoughts, and so that if you're having an issue with being able to regulate your own thoughts, then you need to bring somebody else into the picture that can help you to regulate you, that can help you to regulate your thoughts, for instance, an accountability partner.

Speaker 1: 9:15

Find you a good friend. It could be your spouse. It could be a co-worker that you trust. Notice I said that you trust. Find you someone that can pull your coattails when they notice that you're overthinking a situation. Find you someone that can you know, be an ear and can also be a voice to you that you are able to hear when you're going off into these overthinking tangents. Find you someone that you can be accountable to and that can be accountable to you. Find you someone like that. As I said, it could be a friend. It could be your spouse. It could be someone, a coworker, that you've created a friendship with, created a bond with that you trust that you know. Now, I wouldn't advise seeking out someone that you don't know to be able to share all of what's going on in your inner heart. I wouldn't advise that. But let it be someone that you know, someone that you trust, someone that you can depend on. Find your friend, and then you may say, well, I don't have anyone, I don't have anybody like that. Well, guess what? Find you some professional help. There are professional counselors, there are professional therapists, there are professional coaches and mentors that can help you that can assist you in being accountable and regulating you, regulating your thought life.

Speaker 1: 11:19

Loneliness is a contributing factor to overthinking, because when you are alone with your thoughts then you get caught up in your own head. And when you get caught up in your own head, sometimes it becomes hard to get out of your own head. The more that you stay caught up in your own head, the harder it gets to get out of your own head, the harder it gets to stop the overthinking, the harder it gets to regulate your thoughts. You get caught up. Any of you ever got caught up. You get caught up In your own head. You just can't get past your thoughts, can't get past the negative thoughts.

Speaker 1: 12:16

But sometimes if you have someone that you can talk to, it will help you to work through the situation. If you've got someone that you could talk to, if you've got someone that you could depend on, if you have someone that you can trust in, relying, that you can share, it can help you to be able to work through the situation. You can talk it out loud then instead of talking it all in your head. See, when you've got someone that you can talk to, then the thoughts that are going on in your mind. You can begin to speak them out loud and let somebody else hear them and then let somebody else judge them. But you've got to be willing to submit to that process. You've got to be willing to submit to that process because sometimes they're going to tell you hey, you're overthinking this thing. It's not that deep, it's not that hard, it's not that difficult.

Speaker 1: 13:36

Sometimes you're going to have to hear that. You have to be able to accept the fact that sometimes you're going to have to hear sometimes you're doing too much. Sometimes they might tell you you're being too extra. You're being too extra. It don't even call for all of that. You've got to be willing to be able to hear that. You've got to have somebody that's going to be willing to be able to hear that. You've got to have somebody that's going to be willing to tell you that A lot of times we have friends that will sit idly by and watch us in destructive behaviors and not say a word, and they say that they do this under the guise of well, I love you so much, I don't really want to hurt you.

Speaker 1: 14:25

You'll find a spouse that may say that Well, I love you so much, I don't really want to hurt you so they won't tell you the truth. To me, if you really loved me, then you would tell me the truth. If you really loved me and you see that I'm overdoing a situation, I'm overthinking a situation, I'm going too far, you would let me know and assist me in reeling it back, in pulling it back, in pulling it back in to a healthy place. That's real love, that's real friendship, that's real fellowship, because you know, sometimes you're going to have to have someone that you can talk to to help you work through it and talk through it. Talk it out loud, say out loud what you're thinking in your head. As I told you, nobody knows what you're saying in your mind, but we can kind of, you know, piece it together by looking at your actions, by watching what you do, watching what you say. But nobody knows for sure what you're thinking in your head unless you tell them, unless you allow them into that space. See, you've got to be willing to allow them in the space and then, once you allow them in the space, you've got to be willing for them to be a voice into your life, to speak to you. So, in those ways, an accountability partner, a friend, a spouse, a family member, they can help you.

Speaker 1: 16:18

But guess what? Even talking out loud to yourself can be helpful. I know we've always said well, if you find someone talking to themselves, something is wrong. Well, no, the saying used to be if you find someone talking to themselves, they're okay, but if you find them answering themselves, then that means something is wrong. That's just a little silly thing that people used to say. But talking to yourself can be good.

Speaker 1: 16:49

Talking aloud to yourself, not in your head, but talking aloud to yourself can be helpful. Because if you can speak out loud the thoughts that are taking place in your head, then sometimes even you can see how wrong they are. Even you can begin to spot it and you won't even need you know so much so that have somebody else to tell you. But if you can begin to speak them out loud, what's going on in your head, then sometimes you can spot the wrong, you can see how wrong they are. You know, you might have been thinking X, y, a, b, c, and then, when you start talking it out loud and you may be like well, that doesn't even make sense. Why would I even think that? Why would I even go there? That doesn't even make sense. Why would I even think that? Why would I even go there? That doesn't even sound right. I'm thinking A, b, c and it's actually X, y, z. So talking out loud can be helpful sometimes, because you're getting it out of your head and you're getting it out in the open, even writing them out on a paper. Writing those thoughts out on paper can also help.

Speaker 1: 18:08

Keeping a journal that you can go back and look at that's a big help also Because if you can keep a journal, you can journal your thoughts. Then you can be able to go back and look at and read what you wrote and then you can see how negative it was. You can begin to look at and see that how what you wrote wasn't based on facts, but it was just based on your feelings. When you can look at it, go back and read over it again, it can be of a great assistance to you to journal. You can even begin to see patterns in your thinking when you journal your thoughts. You can see patterns. You can begin to see triggers when you journal your thoughts, when you're getting your thoughts outside of the confines of your head and bring them out into the open where they can be evaluated either by you or somebody else, but either way, those things are necessary.

Speaker 1: 19:28

It's necessary to have what's going on in your head evaluated and looked at and judged, to see exactly where you are, to know where you're missing it and to know where you're hitting it on the target, because some of your overthinking is actually correct. Not all of it is bad, not all of your over, not not everything that you think is bad. Some of what you're thinking is good. Some of what you're thinking can save you a whole lot of trouble. Some of what you're thinking can save you a whole lot of stress, a whole lot of difficulties. Some of what you're thinking can save your life. So all of what you're thinking is not bad, just some of it, just some of it. And so we just want those parts that are not lining up, that's, the parts that we want to bring into proper alignment, the parts that are not lining up, the negative parts, the parts that won't do us any good, that lead us astray, those are the parts that we want to bring into alignment because they're out of alignment. And so, finding an accountability partner, finding someone that you can talk to, talking out loud to yourself, journaling your thoughts. All of those things can help you and they'll assist you so that you won't get caught up in the trap of isolation, isolation.

Speaker 1: 21:30

See, when you isolate yourself, it causes you to want to isolate yourself even more. Did you know that when you begin to isolate yourself, it causes you to want to isolate yourself even more? I don't know why that is, but that is the way that it is, see, because when you get so accustomed to being by yourself, then being by yourself is all that you want to be. When you isolate yourself and it's just you and your thoughts, then there's no one who can throw you a lifeline. There's no one who can come and pull your coat, there's no one that can see what you're going through. So then, guess what? No one can help you. No one can help you. So when you get stuck in your head, it's hard to get out without some help.

Speaker 1: 22:52

When you begin to isolate yourself, then you have a tendency to want to stay by yourself. How many of you ever heard of people? They've gotten older and they haven't gotten married yet, so they've become accustomed to being single. So now being single is all they know, and so after a while they're not really interested in being married, because being single is all they know, so they would rather stay single. That's the same thing with isolation when isolation becomes all you know, then you'd rather stay isolated, you'd rather stay isolated.

Speaker 1: 23:37

And isolation is a very, very, very contributing factor to overthinking Loneliness, is a major contributing factor to overthinking Loneliness, because it's just you and your thoughts. It's just you and your thoughts, and so when you find yourself getting stuck in your head and it seems like it's hard to get out of your head, out of your own thinking, that's the time that you need to seek out help. That's the time where you need to begin to develop healthy relationships, healthy relationships, Even though you may not feel like it, even though you may feel like, well, I just don't want to be bothered with people, I'd rather be by myself. But you're not meant to be by yourself, you're not meant to be by yourself. And so I would challenge you to push back past those feelings. Push past those feelings of well, I just don't want to and I'd just rather be by myself. Push past that and begin to develop healthy relationships, begin to connect with other people. Begin to connect with other people, begin to develop healthy relationships where it's mutually beneficial to you, mutually beneficial to you, and then get out of relationships that don't benefit you in some way. They don't benefit you in some way. They don't benefit you, where they can always come and dump on you, but you can't do the same. You got to keep on holding on to your weights because they are of no help to you and all of that does is just adds to your stress and affects your well-being, which can then trigger your overthinking.

Speaker 1: 25:57

So push past the feelings of loneliness, push past the feelings of feeling like you want to isolate yourself and begin to stretch. Begin to stretch yourself, begin to incorporate others into your life, begin to incorporate other relationships, begin to communicate with others. Speak to others, talk with, conversate with others. Sometimes you can have a conversation with someone and you not share a thing about what you're going through on the inside. You don't even have to share a thing about what you've been thinking, but somehow in the conversation, something comes up and something is said that can help you, that assists you from getting over and getting past the hump and the stump that you're in. Things have a way of working out like that. So find you, develop some relationships, find you some people that you can talk with, conversate with. Get out and develop relationships. Develop a support system. Get involved in life so that you can discover, along the way, those that can assist you on your journey. Get out there, get involved in life. Stop letting life just pass you by, stop sitting back and watching life pass you by, but get out there and get involved in life so that you can discover, along the way, those that can assist you on your journey.

Speaker 1: 28:14

This podcast is meant to be a support system. That was one of my purposes for creating it, so that we like-minded people could walk together to wholeness. There are many others out there. There's many other avenues that can assist you with support, so that you don't have to walk this thing out alone. You don't have to walk through life alone, but there are people out there that will help you, that will walk with you.

Speaker 1: 28:53

Find someone who understands you and can understand what you are going through, who is willing to stand with you. That's what I want you to do. Find you someone, make sure it's somebody that understands you. Make sure it's somebody that understands what you're going through, that can empathize with you and understand what you're going through, and who's willing to stand with you, because sometimes people can understand you, they understand what you're going through, but they're not willing to stand with you to help you through. Find somebody that's willing to stand with you while you walk through it. I promise you it'll make life a whole lot better. It'll make it a whole lot better and you won't have to keep the thoughts trapped in your mind but you can begin to express them and bring them out into the open.

Speaker 1: 30:06

If you're interested in personal coaching, I can assist you as a life coach. That's what I do. I haven't before mentioned it, but if you're interested, I can definitely assist you. Reach out to me through my email, which is PamelaGonsolin at attnet. I'll put it in the description box also for you, so that you can reach out to me and let me know that you're interested. I would be happy to work with you on a one-on-one basis as a mentor and a life coach to get you To the place called there. The place called there Wherever there is for you, because there for me and there for you may be two different places, everybody's not the same but I can help you to get there. I can help to mentor you to get you to that place called there. Mm-hmm, I'm Pam Gonsolin and you've been tuned into the Overthinkers Anonymous podcast. Thank you for joining me. Bye-bye, so stop overthinking. Have you ever Been caught up in your mind so unaware of time? Cause you can't stop thinking.