OVERTHINKERS ANONYMOUS
This podcast is for any and everyone who struggles with overthinking or “getting out of their own head” . It is a no judgement, anonymous, and open platform that we can collectively discuss what is causing us inner turmoil. It will also be a space of encouragement and positive affirmation that you can use to propel your life forward.
OVERTHINKERS ANONYMOUS
Navigating the Maze of Thoughts: Celebrate Worth and Set Boundaries
Have you ever felt ensnared by your own thoughts, wandering through a maze of 'what ifs' and 'should haves'? That's the labyrinth we're navigating together on the Overthinkers Anonymous podcast. As your host, Pam Gonsolin, I'm here to share the raw truths about the mental tug-of-war we battle daily. This episode marks not only a celebration of surpassing 100 downloads—a heartfelt thanks to all of you—but also a reiteration of your inherent worth. You'll learn why it's essential to armor ourselves with prayers and affirmations, and how setting firm boundaries is an act of self-love for those who may not see our value.
Amidst the ebb and flow of human interactions, we often forget the power of communication boundaries. Everyone carries their own set of struggles, and I guide you through the understanding that people's actions are just as transient as their moods—often more about them than us. We talk about the responsibility of self-care and the non-negotiable right to be treated with kindness and respect. It's a compassionate reminder that your feelings are valid and that you deserve to be put first in your own life. So, let's embrace the journey toward inner peace and mutual understanding, one thoughtful step at a time.
Thanks for listening! Become a subscriber of the Overthinkers Anonymous Podcast so that you will never miss an episode. Hit the link below to subscribe now!
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2311985/support
If you need a Life Coach or Mentor to support you on your journey to freedom reach out to me @pamelagonsoulin@att.net
I've been up and down for so long. Crazy how right can become so wrong. The thoughts in my head Keep me on a constant rollercoaster and I just want some peace. Tonight Feels like my heart done, left me stranded, just floating away on a melody, leaving me to all my tears. I just hope somebody here Slendercise to come and rescue me, cause I've been through some pain and the only way to get past the pain are the prayers that pray to keep my sanity. Tell me, have you ever been caught up in your mind, so unaware of time, cause you can't stop thinking, oh, and it feels like You're breaking down inside. You wanna let it ride, ride, but you can't, cause you're overthinking it all. Am I really as good as I think I am, or am I stunting in my mind like it's stunting on the ground? Father, please tell me again. Tell me again, cause your voice is so comforting on the days when I'm thinking with it, even after you said that I win. Told me walk bold, cause you're queen and I'm loving how you dream in your representation. No, you ain't perfect, but baby, you gon' make it. Yeah, yeah, baby girl, you gon' make it. So stop overthinking.
Speaker 1:Hi, welcome to the Overthinkers Anonymous podcast and I am your host. Pam Gonsolin, thank you for joining me today. I'm so excited to have you here with me for the journey. If you wouldn't mind doing me a favor, but please go and subscribe and download this podcast. Download the podcast. You can find a link to subscribe to the podcast in the description box if you just scroll down.
Speaker 1:I also want to send a special shout out to all of you who have subscribed and downloaded, tuned in, listened to this podcast so far. Last week, we hit a new milestone of over 100 downloads. Yay, I want you guys to celebrate with me, because that means listen. We began this podcast on February, the 4th, and so in two months time, I've been able to achieve over 100 downloads. Listen, I'm going to celebrate every milestone, whether it's big or whether it's small, but guess why? Because I'm truly thankful. I'm thankful that a hundred of you out there thought enough to listen to this podcast and join in, and so I'm extremely, extremely grateful for that, and so I'm going to give you guys a hand clap. Thank you so much. So last week, I talked to you about being enough, and I want to just reaffirm to you that you are indeed enough. You are valuable, your voice has value, your thoughts, your ideas have value and you mean something. You mean something, you're valuable, you have worth. I want you to always remember that. I want you to always know that, each and every day. I want you to know that you are enough.
Speaker 1:And if you're dealing with people who don't see your worth or who refuse to acknowledge your value, then guess what? Maybe you should change the people that you got around you. Maybe you should change the company that you keep. Or, guess what, there may be somebody who you can't just get rid of like that, you can't just cut off like that you know. Perhaps they might be your family or something you know. They're not just a friend or what. Have you an acquaintance. They may be somebody that's closer to you, a family member. Maybe you can't just cut them off or just get rid of them just like that, but in those cases, because they don't value your voice, because they don't think that you have value and what you say has value, what you think has value, maybe you should think about setting up boundaries in regards to who's able to speak into and over your life. Maybe you should start thinking about setting up boundaries on whose value you, whose opinion you value, maybe you should put some boundaries in place. Maybe you should put some mechanisms in place about who is able to speak to you, who's able to speak into you and who's able to speak over your life. See, because sometimes we have negative people that are speaking things over our lives, and those negative people aren't just friends that you can just say I'm done, this friendship is over and move on. They might be your family, they might be loved ones, and so you can't just I'm done, sometimes with family, sometimes with family, sometimes you know you still have to deal with family, you still have to deal with loved ones. So maybe you should set some boundaries in place with those loved ones. Maybe you should think about that, setting some boundaries in place on what you're willing to receive from them, what you're willing to hear from them. And if you let them know the boundaries, that's fine. If you don't let them know that you have boundaries in place for that, it's still fine.
Speaker 1:As long as you know what the boundaries are, you might decide to just let them talk, let them talk, let them talk. And all the while they're talking it's going in one ear and out the other, because you know, there are some people's opinions that you should let go in one ear and immediately out the other, because they don't, or they refuse to see the value in you. They are unable to see you as who you really are. So their view of you, their opinion of you, is slanted. So they might be talking, but you don't have to be listening. You don't have to be listening. And if you can think of a tactful way of expressing your boundary, all power to you then you should do that. But if not, if you know that, you know well, if I say this to them, it's not going to go well, it's not going to go over. Well, in order to keep confusion down, you may just want to be silent, but all the while, you still got that boundary, you still got that personal boundary. It's personal to you. You still got that personal boundary, it's personal to you.
Speaker 1:See, because if they refuse to see the value in you, they are unable to see who you are, then guess what? Their view and their opinion of you is most times slanted. They have a perception of who you are, but their perception is incorrect or their perception is limited. It's limited. It's limited to their vantage point, it's limited to their viewpoint. They may not see the whole picture of who you are. They may not be able to grasp all of who you are, all of your wonderfulness, all of your greatness. They may be only able to see you, your faults. They may be only able to see your faults. They may be only able to see where you messed up, but they're unable to see your potential. They're unable to see where there were times you did a wonderful job. There were times when you weren't wrong, but you were exactly right. They may be unwilling to, unable to or unwilling to see that, because people often see others. Listen at this. This is the key People often see others based upon the way that they view themselves.
Speaker 1:Did you know that? Upon the way that they view themselves? Did you know that People often see others based upon the way that they view themselves? So how I see myself is going to have an effect on how I see you. It's just like people say if you don't love yourself first, then how can you love anybody else? You can't. You can't really love somebody else if you don't really love yourself first. How could you love somebody else more than you love yourself? It just doesn't. It doesn't work like that. So people have a tendency to see others based upon how they see themselves.
Speaker 1:Sometimes what they will do is they will project onto you how they feel about themselves. They will project onto you what they are going through, what they are facing, what they are into Projection. Projection is a real thing. It's a real thing. They will project onto you and I don't think they even realize what they're doing at the time. In fact, I'm more sure that they are not realizing what they're doing at the time. In fact, I'm most sure that they are not realizing what they are doing at the time, but it's still happening and it's still on them whether they realize it or not.
Speaker 1:You'll find this a lot of times in relationships where somebody is cheating and then they will project on the spouse who they're cheating on that they'll make out like they're doing the cheating, like they're doing something that they're not supposed to Like they're talking to people that they're not supposed to be talking to, or having relationships with other people that are incorrect. They'll project that onto others and make you feel like you're wrong and you're in the wrong and you're being inappropriate, when all the while they're the ones that were being inappropriate with other people. All the while they're the ones in relationships with other people that are inappropriate because they're married. They'll project onto you that you must be having an affair or what have you, and all the while they're the ones that's having the affair. They'll project onto you that you must be doing X, y and Z, when all the while they're the ones doing X, y and Z Projection, Projection. They're shifting their thoughts, their ideas, their actions onto you, projection, projection. And so you've got to be careful with that. You've got to be careful with that. You've got to be careful With that.
Speaker 1:Projection is Unconsciously taking unwanted emotions or traits that you don't like about yourself and attributing them to somebody else. That's what projection is. I told you. A common example is a cheating spouse who suspects that their partner is being unfaithful. Why? Because they're having unwanted emotions and they have unwanted traits that they don't like about themselves, and so they take that and attribute it to you as a way of bringing relief to themselves for the guilt that they feel, as a way of, you know, getting the light off of themselves. They place a spotlight on you, projection, mm-hmm, they place a spotlight on you, projection.
Speaker 1:So you have to know what is taking place. You have to know what is taking place. You have to have your wits about you when you're dealing with people. Did you know that? You got to have your wits about you when you're dealing with people, you have to know what's taking place. You have to be able to evaluate the situation and know what's taking place, because a lot of times, what's taking place is not being spoken about openly, but it's happening overtly, it's happening covertly, meaning under the scenes. It's happening under the scenes, behind the scenes, it's not out in front. So you got to have your wits about you. You got to know what's actually taking place.
Speaker 1:Did I ever mention to you all that, by profession, I am a pastor? That's right, I'm a pastor. So I have a vast amount of experience in dealing with people. I've been a pastor for over 17 years, so I've had 17 years of dealing with people, of counseling people, of interacting with people, and so I've been able to gain a whole lot of knowledge and understanding about people, because, after all, that's who I minister to people, people.
Speaker 1:And one thing that I can tell you is that people will be people. Yes, they will. People will be people. People are fickle. They will mess up, they will make mistakes. They're going to make wrong decisions. One day they're going to be up. Next day they're going to be down. People are just going to be people.
Speaker 1:As people, we all go through things. We all face things. That's one thing that I learned that everybody goes through something. Everybody has an issue. My issue may not be what your issue is. Your issue may not be what my issue is, but we all have our own individual issues. We all have our things that we go through, things that we face, and people are fickle. People are fickle. They'll be with you one minute and next minute, ready to drop you. They're fickle, but guess what? They're only people. They're only people and no one person is better than the next. We're all just people and nobody on the face of this earth is perfect. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is perfect.
Speaker 1:We have to realize that You're not perfect. The person or people that you're dealing with. They aren't perfect. We have to realize that You're not perfect. The person or people that you're dealing with. They aren't perfect. They're not perfect. You're not perfect.
Speaker 1:You're going to mess up sometime, you're going to blow it sometime. But just because you mess up sometime, blow it sometime, does that make you a bad person Just because you might mess up sometime, you might stumble sometime. Does that make you less valuable? No, it just makes you a person. It just makes you human. You're human, that's all You're human, because nobody on the face of the earth is perfect, and so sometimes what they do is their view of you is not always personal, but it's just that they have their own stuff going on.
Speaker 1:They have their own stuff that they're going through. They have their own stuff going on. They have their own stuff that they're going through. I'm going to say it again Sometimes what they do, and sometimes their view of you, what they do and how they handle you, sometimes their view of you is not always personal. It's just that they're human, they're people, and they have their own stuff, own issues that they're going through and they're working through, and so they're operating from that premise. They're operating from what they're going through. They're operating from what they're going through. They're operating from what their experiences have been. That's where they're coming from.
Speaker 1:It's not personal for you. Sometimes it's personal. Sometimes they just don't like you. Sometimes they're just not for you. Sometimes it's personal, and you've got to know. When it's personal, sometimes they just don't like you. Sometimes they're just not for you, sometimes it's personal, and you've got to know when it's personal. And when it's personal, those types of people you can't really be in relationship with, not close relationship with. I don't care who they are. If it's personal, you've got to know when it's personal, when they just don't like you, when they don't care for you, when they don't care about you, when they don't love you. Sometimes it's personal, they're holding grudges, holding things against you, and because they're holding grudges against you, then it shapes and forms the way that they interact with you. And because they're holding grudges against you, then it shapes and forms the way that they Interact with you. Sometimes it's personal, but sometimes it's not.
Speaker 1:Most times People are unaware Of how they're treating someone else, or that they're treating. The way that they're treating someone else Is is actually wrong, because that's how they were treated, so they think that's normal. That's what they went through, so they figured that's normal. So sometimes it's not personal. Most times, I would venture to say it's not personal. And if you sat down to really express to them how it made you feel what you've been going through and what you've been experiencing with them, they would probably be unaware that they have made you feel that way. They would probably be unaware that their words, that they've spoken to you, made you feel such and such a way. Now, remember I said, sometimes they know exactly what they're doing and they do it on purpose, to push your buttons and to make you feel a certain kind of way. And that means it's personal personal, but most of the time, granted, it's not. And so guess what?
Speaker 1:Even though they have their own stuff that they're going through, even though they have their own experiences at the same time, that does not give them the right to hurt you. That does not give them the right to down you. That does not give them the right to devalue you at all. That does not give them the right to do that, to treat you like that. I want you to remember that. Remember that it does not give them the right to hurt you, put you down, treat you a certain kind of way. It doesn't give them the right to do that simply because they went through some things, because they're going through some things, they've experienced some things. It doesn't give them the right to treat you like that. You're not a part of what they went through. You're not a part of what they went through. You're not a part of what their issue is, so why should you have to suffer the consequence for that? That's on them. That's on them, and you can leave it right there with them, with them, with them, with them, with them, and so on.
Speaker 1:This endeavor of you actually knowing, actually believing and actually feeling like you are enough. On this endeavor, I want you to start looking out for you. Start looking out for you, start putting you first for a change. You're always considering others' feelings, but you never consider your feelings, or they never consider your thoughts. They never consider how you feel, but you're always considering how they feel. You're always considering their thoughts at the detriment of your own, at the detriment of your own.
Speaker 1:Let today be the last time that you toss your feelings to the side In order to appease someone else's feelings. Let today be the last day. Let today be the last day that you shove your feelings down and pretend like they are not there and that they don't matter, all for somebody else to feel like they are important. You are just as important as they are. You're not more important, but you are just as important as they are and your feelings are just as important as theirs. Let today be the last day that you shove your feelings down and pretend like they're not there to keep confusion down, so there won't be an argument. They always have their say so, but you never have yours. Let today be the last day.
Speaker 1:And I'm not talking about going and starting fusses, starting arguments, but I'm talking about having healthy dialogue, healthy communication. That's what I'm talking about being able to communicate your feelings. Let your feelings be made known Along with theirs, and then we'll have the full picture of the coin and see where we can move from there. We can have a meeting of the minds this week and see where we can move from there. We can have a meeting of the minds this week. I want you to start communicating as best as you can how you feel when these situations arise. Start communicating that.
Speaker 1:Start finding the words, the dialogue to be able to put into words and express how you're feeling. It's a hard process, but you've got to start somewhere. You may not do it perfect at the beginning, you may not do it all right, but at least you start. And the more that you communicate, the better at communicating you become. The more you communicate, the better you are able to find the words to express what you're meaning. If you work on it. If you work on it. If you got to look up some words in the dictionary to express what you're feeling, look up some words. If you got to look up some words in the dictionary to express what you're feeling, look up some words. If you got to Google some stuff to figure out exactly how it is that you're feeling so that you can go back and express it to someone else, do that. All of that is going to help you. All that is going to assist you in broadening your vocabulary so that you can communicate on a more effective manner, in a more effective manner.
Speaker 1:So I want you to start communicating this week, as best as you can, how you feel when these situations arise. Now listen, if you know it may start an argument, you may want to pick your battles. If you know that when I stand up to express how I feel about such and such, it's going to start an automatic argument, maybe you want to pick your battles. Maybe you want to pick opportune times to begin this dialogue. Maybe the best time to start is not right after you just had an argument about something else and then you switch to that topic. No, that's not the best time. Maybe the best time to start is when everybody's calm and everybody's enjoying themselves and you start a pleasant conversation. You don't start off fussing and yelling and cussing or whatever, but you just start off with a pleasant conversation. Well, you know, I was thinking about such and such and this is how I feel about it. Well, you know, when you said such and such the other day, I was thinking and I didn't really like that. It made me feel such and such a way Communication.
Speaker 1:One of the most important things in a relationship I don't care what relationship it is parent, child, friend, husband and wife, whatever Relationship is communication. That's one of the most important things, see, because if you don't communicate it to others, it's going to simply play in the background of your mind. It's going to play over and over in the background of your mind, and that's where the overthinking comes in. I heard somebody say the other day that there is one conversation going on in the penthouse of your mind and a different conversation happening in the basement of your mind. My husband said that and you might be more focused on the penthouse conversation, but the basement conversation is still taking place, even though you're not focusing on it, that basement conversation is still taking place, and it's in the basement that the overthinking conversation takes place, and it erodes everything else in your life. It erodes everything else in your life. It erodes everything else in your life, and so it's time to take back you.
Speaker 1:It's time to take back your feelings. It's time to take back your self-worth. It's time to take back your value. It's time to take back your self-worth. It's time to take back your value and watch this. And it's time for you to stand in who you are, and stand in that who you are is enough. That's what I want you to focus on this week. That's what I want you to focus on this week, along with continuing your affirmations that I shared with you on last week.
Speaker 1:If you didn't get to hear last week's episode, go back and download it and take a listen. I'm sure that it will bless your life. I'm sure that you'll be able to find some excellent nuggets in there that you can take and use in your life. Even if it's just going and copying the affirmations that I gave you, those will help you, assist you, greatly. If you take those affirmations and begin to say them daily, that'll do a world of good for you.
Speaker 1:But this week I want you to focus on taking back you, taking back your feelings, your self-worth, your value, and stand in who you are and stand in the fact that who you are is enough. And we're going to continue this dialogue on that basement conversation, that basement conversation where the overthinking takes place. We're going to continue that dialogue because it's the basement conversation that is seeping up into other levels and messing up your life. It's messing up your life because it's making you overthink, it's making you doubt yourself, it's making you think that you're not enough. All of that kind of thinking goes on in that basement, the basement of your mind. And so I'm Pam Gonsolin and I want to thank you for tuning in to Overthinkers Anonymous today, where we are changing our lives, not just your lives, our lives. We're changing our lives one thought at a time. Thank you so much for joining me and tuning in. I'll see you on next week. Bye-bye, stop overthinking. Have you ever been caught up in your mind so unaware of time? Cause you can't stop thinking.