Transforming Pain: Growth Beyond Overthinking

Are you ready to transform your pain into personal growth? Join me, Pam Gonsolin, on this week's enlightening episode of Overthinkers Anonymous, where we uncover the vital steps to heal through grieving our various losses. Discover how overthinking can be a roadblock to your emotional recovery and how allowing yourself to truly feel the pain can be the key to unlocking a new phase of healing. We'll delve into a broad spectrum of loss, from broken relationships to diminished self-confidence, and explore the importance of grieving these losses to reclaim your sense of self and start your journey toward emotional recovery.

As we continue, we shift our focus to self-improvement and the pursuit of becoming a better version of yourself. Learn the importance of setting clear intentions and staying focused on your goals as you work through your unresolved emotional wounds. We'll address the pitfalls of overthinking and how it can make you lose track of precious time, and emphasize the need for mindfulness and presence in your journey. Join us for an engaging conversation on stopping the cycle of overthinking, setting your sights on personal growth, and achieving a new and improved you. Thank you for being part of this transformative journey.

Chapters

• 0:02 Healing Through Grieving Losses
• 18:25 Achieving a New and Better You

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

I've been up and down for so long. Crazy how right can become so wrong. The thoughts in my head Keep me on a constant rollercoaster and I just want some peace. Tonight Feels like my heart done, left me stranded, just floating away on a melody, leaving me to all my tears. I just hope somebody hears and decides to come and rescue me, cause I've been through some pain and the only way to get past the pain are the prayers that pray to keep my sanity. Tell me, have you ever been caught up in your mind, so unaware of time, cause you can't stop thinking, oh, and it feels like You're breaking down inside. You wanna let it ride, ride, but you can't, cause you're overthinking it all. Am I really as good as I think I am, or am I stunting in my mind like they stunting on the ground? Father, please tell me again. Tell me again, cause your voice is so comforting on the days when I'm thinking with it, even after you said that I win. Told me walk bold, cause you're queen and I'm loving how you dream in your representation. No, you ain't perfect, but baby, you gon' make it. Yeah, yeah, baby girl, you gon' make it. So stop overthinking.

Speaker 1: 2:08

Hi, welcome to the Overthinkers Anonymous podcast, and I'm your host, pam Gonsolin. Thank you for joining me today. Go subscribe now to the broadcast by clicking on the subscribe button that is located in the description box. Also, you can help us grow by sharing the podcast with family and friends. Well, the healing journey continues. In order now to silence that conversation that is taking place in the basement of your mind that is fueling your overthinking your healing is an important step. You're overthinking your healing is an important step, and so our healing journey continues. On last week, I encouraged you to go ahead and rip the band-aid off and allow yourself to feel the pain. How many of you were able to do that on last week? I know it probably was painful, but if you are able to do it, it's really, really going to benefit you in the long run. Right now, it may feel like it's stirring up old wounds, bringing up, dredging up old memories, bringing up old things, but it will pass. It will pass and you will get past it and you will begin, if you're not already. You're going to begin to feel a whole lot better Once the healing has taken place in your life, and so ripping off the band-aid was an important step in addressing your healing. So what's the next step? The next step is called grieving Grieving Think about that for a while Grieving.

Speaker 1: 4:03

A lot of times we refer to grieving as when we have lost a loved one or we've lost someone that we cared about, deeply Grieving. We think about grieving in that relation. But grieving is simply this step is simply where we acknowledge the losses that we've suffered. We acknowledge the losses that we've suffered due to the trauma that we have experienced and we allow ourselves to grieve them. It involves you recognizing the things that you have lost as well as getting past them. So I said that most of the time, we think about grieving in relation to having lost a loved one, having lost someone that we were very close to. But there are other kinds of loss.

Speaker 1: 5:17

You may suffer the loss of trust. Because of the trauma that you've gone through. Maybe you don't trust anybody anymore. It's hard for you to trust someone. Loss of trust, loss of safety Maybe because of the things that you've gone through, you don't feel safe anymore. You don't feel safe where you are. Loss of self-confidence Maybe, you know, because the trauma you've experienced, you don't feel confident in yourself anymore. You've lost your sense of self. You don't know who you are anymore. You know at one time you might have been this vibrant person, but because of the trauma that you've endured now you've lost your self-confidence. You've lost your self-assurance. You've even lost yourself. You don't even recognize or know who you are anymore because the trauma that you've experienced has damaged you. So have you ever been in that place where you look in the mirror and you don't recognize the person looking back at you? It's like you're a whole different person. Before you went through whatever you went through, you were a different kind of person. You were a fun, loving person, self-assured, confident person, happy. But now, all of a sudden, when you look into the mirror, you see this sad and withdrawn person. You see this person that lacks confidence, that lacks assurance. You see this person that lacks trust, that's scared now. So it takes a process to be able to grieve now the person that you once were. You should allow yourself the time to grieve that, because that's a loss. You've lost the person that you once were. You've lost the confidence that you once were. You've lost the confidence that you once had. You've lost the trust that you once had in people. You've lost that.

Speaker 1: 8:01

It can also be a loss of a marriage, loss of relationships, a marriage loss of relationships. Maybe you were married at one time and now you're divorced. Did you ever take the time to grieve that divorce, grieve that marriage? Because it's a loss. You're no longer attached, it's a separation that's taken place, and so with every loss comes grief. Maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's a relationship with a friend that you've had for a number of years and all of a sudden some things came up and you guys just parted ways. That's a loss. Maybe it's other types of relationships that have been damaged, that are not the same anymore. Sure, you might still see them, you might still be cordial to them, but it's just not the same anymore. The relationship is not what it used to be. That's a loss. That's a loss. And so, whatever it is that you have lost, allow yourself the opportunity to grieve. Grieving is a normal and natural process. It's normal to grieve. It's natural to grieve.

Speaker 1: 9:37

You know a lot of times when we experience loss. You know, sometimes people tell us, especially when we've experienced the loss, like, of a loved one, they tell you oh, don't cry, don't cry, you don't need to cry, it's okay. Well, at the moment I'm not okay. I know it will be okay, but at the moment I'm not okay and at the moment I feel the need to cry. So there's nothing wrong with crying. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad.

Speaker 1: 10:15

Anytime there is a loss, we naturally feel sad and feel sorrow. That's a natural response. So don't let anybody tell you that you shouldn't feel sad because of a loss or you shouldn't be sorrowful. It was a loss. Sometimes they tell us, you know, they tell you, oh, don't cry, you know, don't feel sad because they don't know how to deal with us when we're in that state. And so what they do is try to push us and keep us in a state where they're able to deal with us, us in a state where they're able to deal with us. Sometimes they're unable to deal with us when we're in a state of sadness and sorrow because it hurts them to see and they don't know how to respond to that. But sadness and sorrow are normal, natural emotions, just like happiness and joy are.

Speaker 1: 11:24

Now, as long as we don't stay planted in sadness, as long as we don't stay bogged down in our sorrows, but we allow ourselves the opportunity to feel them so that we can what move past them, so that we can what Move past them? So sometimes, instead of taking the time to grieve, what we do is we shove our sadness and our sorrow down with the rest of our shove to the side emotions. Do you have those Emotions that you've shoved to the side because you just don't want to deal with them, don't want to feel them, so you just took them and pushed them to the side, and a lot of times, instead of taking the time to grieve when we've lost something, we just shove that to the side. The sadness and the sorrow we shove it to the side too.

Speaker 1: 12:25

So this week, what I want you to do is take the time and acknowledge what you have lost and allow yourself to feel that loss, feel the sadness, take it all in. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, allow yourself the space and the opportunity to grieve. After all, it was a loss. You did lose something, no matter what it was, if it was your faith, if it was your confidence, if it was your marriage, if it was a relationship, if it was your self and self-assurance. It was a loss that happened because of a trauma that you've suffered. So allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to feel the loss, allow yourself to feel the sadness, because soon you're going to feel a whole lot better. Soon you're going to be in a better place, both emotionally and mentally.

Speaker 1: 13:44

That is the goal. That's the goal. The goal is to get you to a better space emotionally, to get you to a better space mentally. That's the goal, that's what we're reaching for, that's what we're striving for. So we've got to make our way through some of the muck and the mire. We've got to make our way through the mud, but once we get through the mud we got some green pastures up ahead. Once we get through the mud we've got some smooth sailing up ahead, but first we got to get through the mud. The whole goal is to get you to a better space emotionally, to get you to a healed place so that we can shut down.

Speaker 1: 14:51

The voice of overthinking that's coming from that unhealed place in your heart. That unhealed place you know the place I'm talking about that place has a voice. That unhealed place in your heart has a voice that's been speaking out to you and causing you to not only overthink but causing you to shut down, causing you to go off on people, causing you to have a bad attitude, causing you to be moody, causing you to be angry. That unhealed place. That's the place that we're trying to shine a light in so that healing can take place. Wholeness can take place in that unhealed place. Wholeness can take place in that unhealed place. So it might hurt you, you might feel sad, but that sadness won't last always. It won't last always.

Speaker 1: 16:23

There's a scripture that I like. It says that weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. So we may be weeping right now, going through and dredging up all of these things and getting into that unhealed place in your heart. We might be weeping right now, but it's only going to endure for a night. It's only going to endure for a while, but then it must give way to joy. Morning has to come. I don't care how long darkness and night wants to hang around, it has to give way to morning. The sun has to rise. If it's set, it has to rise. So I want you to know that today, that your sadness has to give way to joy. Your sadness, your sorrow has to give way to happiness. It has to. It won't last always.

Speaker 1: 17:42

So while you go through, I want you to keep your eyes on the end goal. Keep your eyes on the end goal, because there's daylight at the end of this tunnel. I'm going to say that again for you. There is daylight at the end of this tunnel. I'm going to say that again for you. There is daylight at the end of this tunnel, there's joy at the end of this tunnel, there's a brighter day at the end of this tunnel and guess what? There's a better you waiting for you just up ahead at the end of this tunnel.

Speaker 1: 18:25

So keep all of that in mind, keep the goal in mind, keep the goal in focus as you tackle that unhealed place in your heart, that unhealed place in your heart. And I want you to meet me back here on next week. Meet me right back here on next week as we get closer to a new and a better you. That's what we're heading for A new and a better you. Thanks for joining me today. Stop overthinking. Have you ever Been caught up in your mind, so unaware of time? Cause you can't stop thinking.