Durand on Demand

The Truth About Extraversion, Agreeableness, and the Big Five

Dave Durand

In this episode of Durand on Demand, recorded live with a group of collegiate leaders, Dave takes a deeper dive into personality optimization—focusing on extraversion, agreeableness, and how the Big Five test really works.

Forget the clichés like “listen twice as much as you speak.” Dave explains why communication depends on context, why extraversion isn’t an either/or label but a spectrum, and how your natural tendencies can be shaped by experiences.

He also unpacks agreeableness: why being too agreeable leads to people-pleasing and lowered standards, while being too disagreeable creates conflict and isolation. The goal? Learning to optimize these traits at the center—where virtue and effectiveness meet.

What You’ll Learn:

  • The real formula for balancing listening and speaking
  • Why extraversion is a spectrum, not a binary
  • How past experiences can distort personality expression
  • The dangers of excessive agreeableness (a.k.a. “suicidal philanthropy”)
  • Why lowering standards always drags leadership down

This short but practical episode will help you see personality optimization in action—and why finding the right balance makes all the difference in leadership and life.