64: Chip Sebastian Reminds Us "You Only Do What You Train To Do"

Most “self-defense” advice sounds confident until you picture a real moment of fear and realize you might freeze. That’s why we sat down with Chip Sebastian, a Lexington-based Arthur Murray dance instructor, martial arts teacher, and longtime mobile massage therapist, to get specific about what actually holds up under stress and what falls apart when adrenaline hits. If you’re a woman entrepreneur, a busy parent, or anyone who wants to feel safer in your body and your community, this conversation cuts through the noise without the chest-beating vibe that turns so many people away from training. 

We talk about the difference between sport training and real-world self-defense, and why that distinction matters more than most people realize. Chip explains muscle memory in plain language: you respond the way you train, so “just do an eye gouge” is not a plan if your training builds conflicting habits. He also shares why self-defense is uniquely confusing, it doesn’t come with the same feedback loop you get in dance or competition, so people can believe they’re prepared without ever pressure-testing the method. 

Then we bring it back to Lexington community life, including Dancing With The Stars fundraising, how the event has evolved, and why voting and donations support causes like Baby Health Services and the legacy of Surgery on Sunday. Along the way, Chip’s creative side comes through too: his writing background, his love of local arts coverage through Under Main, and what it looks like to keep learning without ego. 

If this helps you rethink your training, your confidence, or the way you show up locally, subscribe to Small Business Bestie, share the episode with a friend, and leave a quick rating or review so more listeners can find the support.

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Transcript

Meet Chip Sebastian

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Small Business Bestie. I am Michelle Smuck, your host, and today I'm so incredibly excited to be chatting with one of my new favorite people in Lexington, Chip Sebastian, has come into my life like a whirlwind, and I'm so excited for you guys to all get to know a little bit about what he does and how he inspires people here in Lexington and beyond. So, Chip, take it away. Tell us about yourself.

SPEAKER_04 0:33

Yeah, I'm here in Lexington, born and raised, um, lived here pretty much all my life and uh went to UK. Um, you know, I've been teaching at Arthur Murray Dance Studio for probably 25 years. I do a lot of theater and film.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

I uh I do a lot of writing, uh, published a book poetry uh some time back. And so I just, yeah, I do a lot.

unknown 0:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Wow. So yeah, Chip and I met uh, I guess back in December at Arthur Murray, the first time I went to a dance social. Um and I knew instantly that we were gonna be friends because we had connected on uh that the two of us are both massage therapists. So I knew we were kindred spirits.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

Yeah, as a matter of fact, uh I just got finished with an a massage. I've had that for 30 plus years and um still largely targeting mobile. Um I I have worked in places, you know, uh people coming to me, but uh it's been largely mobile.

Massage Work And A Creative Life

SPEAKER_00 1:35

The reason I brought that up, Chip, is because I I was gonna segue into like how incredible it is. I've now known you for three and a half months. We've spent some time together, we've had some conversations at this point, and I did not know that you're an author. So that just proves like what a renaissance man you are, how many different things you've got in the fire at all times, because I had no idea.

SPEAKER_04 1:57

No, you know, I I um yeah, I I published a book about 10 years ago called Seasons of the Centaur. Along with that, uh I for many years I wrote for Health and Wellness magazine, 60 Plus uh magazine, um Business Lexington, um just a bunch of different magazines, totaling probably 120 or 30 articles uh over the course of 30 years. So it wasn't just creative writing and poetry that I was doing. Uh you know, I used to cover a lot of arts things, uh, wrote for Under Main, which uh plug to Under Main. A lot of people don't know about Under Main. Under Main is um a uh a Lexington-based arts um magazine, essentially. They're all online, uh, but it's run by Tom Martin, who's a great guide.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

I know you've mentioned it to me before, and you know, you get busy and forget, but it sounds like such a great way to kind of keep a pulse on what's happening both with visual arts, performing arts. Do they do music coverage as well?

SPEAKER_04 3:07

Like they do everything. Um as a matter of fact, when I was writing for them, I would um cover uh the symphony, uh, I would cover um other yeah, just arts related things, but uh and and my my stuff is still on Undermain's website. Uh you can go um I I I've for almost fifty years I've had a bit of a love affair with Philip Glass. I just love Philip Glass music, you know. I'm an odd duck. And um so yeah, I just I've kind of been all over the place with writing.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Uh yeah, sounds like it.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

Yeah. So yeah.

Writing Credits And Local Arts

SPEAKER_00 3:51

That's awesome. Yeah. I wanted to definitely talk more about the self-defense classes that you do because I think that that's gonna be very uh helpful for a lot of our audience. You know, obviously with small business bestie, my my audience is a lot of women entrepreneurs in Kentucky. And as women, uh something that's very important for us is to feel safe in our bodies and our communities, etc. And so when you were telling me about your self-defense classes, I knew that that was something that I wanted more of my besties to know about. So tell us a little bit about what you do with that and how it all works.

SPEAKER_04 4:28

Yeah, uh so I'm of the opinion that everyone should learn some self-defense, um and especially ladies. And um, but I I've been teaching a long time and I understand uh women's concerns when they start seeking out self-defense, because I think most women would like to do that, they'd love to learn self-defense, but then how do I approach it? Oh, I don't want to go into someplace and it's all a bunch of dudes, you know, beating their chest. Oh, I don't want to go in some place, I get hurt. You know, the you know, concerns like that, which are very legitimate. And uh so you have to understand that self-defense training is not sport training. And people today honestly don't understand the difference between the two. Here's the conversation that happened. Yes, yes, Michelle, we know that you came in for self-defense, and that's great. We're gonna teach you about eye gouges and all that. And you don't want to do that in the ring at all because we have rules. But you know, if a guy ever does that, just go ahead and do the eye gouge, do the hair pull, break the fingers, you're gonna be fine. Now, the fallacy in that type of thinking, and anyone who's ever taught, you know, half a day in their life will understand this, is muscle memory. You respond the way you train. Just like going and and learning how to do a backhand antenna. You know, you respond the way you train. You train the way you want to respond. In in the moment that a guy grabs you and pulls you into an alley or uh is trying to do something you don't want him to do to you, you don't have the time to sit there and think, well, let's see, uh, I guess I could put a finger in his eye. Maybe I'll swing my purse at him. No, you don't have time for all that. You don't have time to cognate. Just like in dance, you have to respond in the moment. In other words, you have to train your muscle memory to respond that way. And if you have conflicting muscle memory, like if every time somebody attacks you or looks at you sideways or whatever, you say, Well, uh, here's the list of stuff I can't do. Uh, let me think about that. And then you say, No, no, I'm gonna go ahead and do that. Those are at cross-purpose. That does not happen that way. Um, now, you might have some of your uh listeners who have trained in something, you know, karate, jujutsu, muay thai, uh, whatever, wrestling, you know. Um, and it's all great. Uh, I love all that stuff, you know. The sport is fine. I I've got no beef with it. It's just that the sport should not claim to be teaching self-defense.

unknown 7:21

Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:22

In the same way that if you went and joined the military, you know, they wouldn't say, you know, Michelle, uh, probably in about eight months, we're gonna drop you behind enemy lines because we have to secure this place or this group of people or something like that. And uh, you know, to prepare you, we're all gonna go out and play paintball. We're gonna go shoot paintball, and then you'll be prepared. You see what I mean?

unknown 7:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:49

There is nothing about paintball that sets you up to be able to deal with a real situation behind enemy lines or do you see what I mean? So that's the issue that you run into with people. Now, people who have done sport for many years will argue that to a T. And uh, and it's fine. Um, I have no dog in that fight. Uh, I really don't. But I do encourage people who are sitting there listening to it going, huh, I wonder what's really true. Go do research. It's that simple. Now, why is that the way it is? Like, why is there a misunderstanding of it? I'll tell you why. Because self-defense does not have a feedback loop. It doesn't have a feedback loop. What do I mean? Well, if you come into the dance studio and you say, Chip, I I want to dance, I've got to be good, you gotta help me. And I say, Great, let's start working on cha-cha. Yeah, right. And then uh, you know, we work on some stuff, you put in the effort. A week later, you're at a dance somewhere and you say, My God, they put on Brick House and I started doing cha-cha. I knew what I was doing. What Chip was doing works. So I'm gonna keep doing more of that. And then we do that and we do that, and you get better and better until one day you're like a premiere dancer and it's great. There's a feedback loop. You have the feedback, you have, you know, like the the numbers are in. We have the memo.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Right.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

It must be true. It's getting better. I'll keep doing what I'm doing, right? Uh, but with self-defense, it's not that way. You know, now if you were doing sport and you said, well, I want to win this tournament in a year, and then you go and train in that sport, and then you say, Okay, well, I trained and I won the tournament. What I did with my training must have been had something to do with that. I must have gotten better because of the training and I won the tournament. I have a feedback loop. But it's not that way with true self-defense.

Real Self-Defense Versus Sport

SPEAKER_00 9:48

I kind of want to bring it full circle to how you and I met um and and the Dancing with the Stars adventure. And I don't want to spend a whole lot of time with it, but could you just tell us a little bit about um your experiences so far with Dancing with the Stars? Uh, like, is there a most memorable experience or thing that you've learned or been able to achieve because of Dancing with the Stars? And what are you excited about going forward with your adventure with Dancing with the Stars specifically?

SPEAKER_04 10:18

Well, uh, to your first question about how you and I met with it, of course, um, you were at the one of our our regular Friday night parties over at Arthur Murray Dance Studio here in Lexington. And uh, and I saw you from across the room, and I thought, my God, look at that woman. I'm gonna go dance with her right now. Yeah, and then yeah. I think I went over and dance. I love dancing. I've got to do it. My God. You know, and so that's what originally happened. And then as uh stars started ramping up, and uh, I didn't even know at that time that you were involved in stars in any way. Uh you may not have been, I don't know, but but then uh uh found out you were, we connected and uh and then we started um really rather early with the process, which is great. I'd always rather have it early than you know, 11th hour stuff.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:09

Um, and um, and then you of course I asked you to choose a song that you like. We narrowed that down, we got the song, and and at this point, thank the heaven, uh, we're fully choreographed. Um, you know, we pretty much, you know, so that's that's for us. Uh regarding stars uh as a whole, of course, dancing with the stars got super popular 2003-ish, something like that, 2003, four. And uh and a lot of cities uh were doing um, you know, charities based on that. Uh and there were some that, of course, predated Lexington doing it. But um Hunter, uh, who runs Lexington Arthur Murray, um, you know, we kind of started talking about it, and then all of a sudden we were like, well, we ought to do a charity. And so we started arranging one, and then not long after that, Rotary came on board with it. Um, and then um, you know, we had our first uh time of it, and that was uh out at the Marriott for a for many years it was out at the Marriott. Um and the first one I had, I think, was uh Lee Cruz uh and his then wife Elizabeth. And you know, of course I I've known Lee a long time, and so it was great. We had a good time. Um and then you know, I've had uh probably too many people a name here because I've been in every year uh with there was one year during COVID. You know, when it and I think it was a very small, like maybe five or six couple year anyway, you know. Uh we were just really trying to keep it going to raise the money, even though COVID was raging.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Right.

SPEAKER_04 13:01

And uh so yeah, we we had it at the Marriott, and then it uh we had it one year at the castle, which the castle's wonderful and it's princessy and we all love it, but logistically it's not the best place for dance of its and stars. You know, I mean we're having to kind of be outside a lot, and um, but uh but yeah, I did we won that year. Um Christy Eckerline, who you may know, who um manages the castle, who's a wonderful guy. Uh yeah, so we won that year uh doing swing. She was in her poodle skirt and everything. Um and uh then here for the last I guess three years or something, it's been down at Carrick House. And um also uh back then one one of the uh original people that was spearheading it was a man named Gerald Marble, uh, who was doing it for a long time and then he unfortunately passed away. Uh, but he he was very uh instrumental in stars being successful in those early years. Um and so yeah, and and originally we were really doing surgery on Sundays.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Right.

SPEAKER_04 14:18

Uh which um I think most people know is a charity that allows for surgery for people who just can't afford it or don't have insurance, but hey, you know, they need their surgery or they're you know, you might you're probably gonna die, you know. Uh so that was the original charity. We raised a lot of money for that. Um and and that uh surgery on Sundays, incidentally, um one uh my uh doctor of many years, uh Dr. Fox, was one of the people who spearheaded that. Uh Dr. Fox uh very uh famously um almost died from COVID when COVID hit.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 14:58

Uh he was on a respirator for like a month. Uh so he came back and practiced for a while, but then shortly after retired. And then I went to, I've been I'm with his partner, Dr. Applegate, who I've also known a long time, but they both run family practice associates and they were very uh surgery on Sunday was one of their big things. So anyway, you know, all that kind of coalesced. And uh then baby health services is a newer thing that we're you know, the money's going toward. Uh but no less worthy. It's it's terrific. Um and uh so yeah, you know, some years I've had couples, some years I've had single ladies. Um and this year, yeah, and this year it it's actually unprecedented that I have two single ladies.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

I feel like I'm I think we should have planned better and we could have done like a three, a three-person dance. That would have been that'd be pretty cool. Showstopper. Showstopper.

SPEAKER_04 15:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Yeah, and and Debbie, if you're listening, it's not too late.

SPEAKER_04 16:03

Yeah, yeah. And Debbie Cecil, uh, she's just very sweet. Um, and uh no, so it's great. You know, um I I think when we first when Hunter first came to me and said, Yeah, I'd really like for you to have both these ladies, I was like, Well, I don't know, man, you know, because and it's not on my end. I mean, I I'm fine with whatever, but I just don't know because I hadn't really talked or met you both at the time. And so you know, I mean, you can imagine if you had some, you know, cuckoo bird lady who's like, you know, what do you mean? You know, uh she's getting more attention than I am, you know, you know, and all that, uh, you know, which you inevitably have in a dance studio. It's a given.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Well, you know, that to be honest, when you brought it to me, I was I wasn't opposed to it, but I also had that feeling of like, what if this creates unnecessary tension or conflict? But then I met Debbie, and we are both so in alignment of like, we're having fun, we're having the time of our lives, and we're trying to raise as much money as possible, and it does not matter at all. And so I'm so grateful that she's of that same mindset and we're both just very in alignment with that.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

She's sweet, she's not hung up about stuff, you know. Uh and that's really the point.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

And I can't wait to see her dance.

SPEAKER_04 17:23

Yeah, yeah, it's it's yeah, she's doing uh Rumba. Uh, but yeah, it's the type of person you want to teach. I mean, both of you are, because um, you know, you you when you with teaching, and it's not just dan, it's everything, you're really looking for the person who is in earnest about learning, especially if you're like an old teacher like me, you know, because you just kind of seen a lot of stuff and you're like, I don't want to deal with any prima donna crap, you know? And I don't want to deal with, you know, people who think they know it all. We have that at the studio uh and in martial arts, you know, you'll have people that come and pay for lessons so they can tell you how to do cha-cha and how to do waltz and everything. And I'm like, look, this is great that you know this. Uh, of course, when I see you dancing, it doesn't reflect what you're saying. But um, you know, uh, why are you paying me to tell me that you know stuff? I I mean, you know, I I don't have any what what are you doing? So you get that, and then also some of the that same type of person, you can't tell them anything anyway. They already know it all. Yeah, their cups full.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

The theme of today's conversation is bless their hearts.

SPEAKER_04 18:33

Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. That's yeah, that's where the old southern charm comes in with, you know, bless their heart. You know.

Dancing With The Stars In Lexington

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Well, Chip, uh, we we need to wrap it up. I feel like we got a lot of good stuff here. Is there anything else that you want to make sure we touch on before we sign off for the day?

SPEAKER_04 18:53

Um, I would just say, you know, for people who are interested in stars and attending or voting, just go to the website, you know, find out about it. I have no idea if it's sold out. Um, last time I talked to uh Hunter, it was getting close. So I don't know. It's it's a limited number of tables, of course. Um and um uh yeah, you know, just uh you know, uh give a few bucks, you know. I mean, go and vote. I think it's like five bucks to vote or something, you know. But throw in a 20. You know, it's going toward a good cause, and a lot of people get help. Um, you know, of course, at the studio, we donate uh about 12 lessons per person, per contestant, you know. So uh that's a lot of skin, man. That's a lot, you know, that Hunter puts in each year. Um so you know, it's uh it's it's great because you know, the you with with uh people who come, you know, even though they're star, you know, you never know if they're stars with money, you know, uh, and they can, hey, yeah, sure, I'll do the thing. Yeah, I'll just 100 lessons, sure. I'll just be, you know, it's like you just don't know. And so it kind of levels the playing field a little bit for a lot of the contestants where they they get that training that they need for that night. Uh so we've always tried to be very fair with that, but you know, 100 that's a big donation. You know, yeah, any of the students that have been there for many years, they'll tell you that's a big donation. Uh, and sometimes we've had 12 or uh more contestants. So you're talking about 150 lessons or whatever, you know. That's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:33

Um, but yeah, I would encourage people to look into it. Uh just you know, uh circling back to the martial arts thing, for people who want to train, please just contact me. Um, you know, uh you can do it any way you like, you know, email, phone, you know, once again, 859-421-1469. That's my number. Uh, you can uh go online, you can go to keyojuterookempo.com. Kyojuterukempo.com. I know it's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

We'll put that in the show notes.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

Yeah, but if you go there and just type that in, you'll get our the website, it'll tell you everything. Um, or if you're closer to Frankfurt, I highly recommend you just go to my teacher. Uh my teacher, it's 60 bucks a month to go to my teacher. It's unheard of. And you can go to as many classes as you want. Because he's always felt that he's unheard of. And he doesn't want to keep people out due to money.

unknown 21:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:31

So you know, so really um yeah. So and there are a lot of people out there who's like, man, I would really love to have that training, but you know, I I have five kids, you know.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:41

And I just had hip surgery, you know, and I just had, you know, dental work done, you know, uh and it's you know, so it's really about uh helping people and um carrying on tradition in terms of the martial arts aspect of it. Um but I I would just Encourage people to do both of those things. They're both really worthy things that are going on here locally. You know, support local if you can. That's nice. And uh absolutely you know, and um you know, and and come in and dance too. You know, come in. You know, anyone who's listening to this, if you call our dance studio, 859-278-7711, or you can call me if you want. Just say, I heard Michelle's podcast with Chip. And Chip has been there a hell of a long time, and he said I can have a free lesson. And then you can come in by yourself or with a partner, whatever you like, and do your free lesson, and then say, you know, you know, maybe I'll stick around, maybe not, but uh maybe I will.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, a two first.

SPEAKER_04 22:53

Well, thank you so much for uh, you know, having me on and for being you and being awesome.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Well, thanks. Yeah, appreciate you.

SPEAKER_04 23:01

Taking care of business and everything.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Absolutely. Well, I'll make sure to link out to all the websites that you mentioned. I'll put the phone number in the show notes as well. And then of course I'll tag you on social media when this drops so you can share it to all of your connections. And I'm really excited about everything that you've got going on and especially about what you and I are working on together right now. So thank you for taking time out of your day.

SPEAKER_04 23:23

Oh, you too. Thanks for having me on. And I hope everyone who's listening is like, wow, that was a good, you know, hour well spent listening to that. I'm really happy I did, you know.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Well, we'll talk with you all later.

SPEAKER_04 23:36

All right, Michelle. Be safe. Thank you so much.

How To Vote Donate And Connect

SPEAKER_00 23:39

All right, besties, that does it for today. If you're interested in becoming a part of the Small Business Besti community, join us in the Facebook group or find out more information on the website at smallbusinessbesti.org. Please share the podcast with your friends who could use a friend in business. And it would really mean so much to me if you follow the show and take just a few seconds to rate or review. A five star rating really helps the show become visible to other besties who may just need the support and friendship that we offer.