Hustle & Flow
Join us for the wisdom, humor and insight from a married couple of 33 years on the hustle and flow of life.
We have worked so many types of jobs over 33 years. We have worked in the service industry, retail, corporate and blue collar work. We have been Realtors for 18 years, managing property, flipping houses and owning short term rentals. We have worked staff work which includes everything from Pastoring to Youth Pastoring to Children’s ministry.
We have been involved in CrossFit for over 11 years, owning a gym, coaching and actively working out. We are involved in Spartan races and travel the nation competing.
We own a Dessert Cafe called Crave in Downtown Tupelo that has been open since 2014. We currently have three locations.
We have raised four children and currently have two grandchildren. Family is of utmost importance to us.
We have a life full of stories that we can’t wait to share with you.
Hustle & Flow
Keeping the Spark Alive in Marriage
This episode focuses on five essential rules that can enhance marital relationships and promote joy. We share insights on the importance of having fun, speaking positively about your spouse, being slow to speak and quick to forgive, communicating goals and dreams, and the continual journey of getting to know each other.
• Emphasizing the necessity for fun to foster connection
• Encouraging individuals to speak well about their spouse
• Discussing the importance of being slow to speak and quick to forgive
• Highlighting the value of communicating goals and objectives
• Acknowledging the ongoing process of getting to know one another
Hey, good morning. Good morning, this is Brad and I'm with my wife Tiffany. What's happening? Tiff, just a day. A day in the world right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we just went through all the snow and ice and 12 degrees and now today, I think the high is 63. A week later, mississippi, where you can have four seasons in the span of a week?
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Somebody told me you ran in 11 degree weather.
Speaker 2:Yeah, was it 11?
Speaker 1:11, yeah, I don't know it was cold, it was cold, it was cold, hey, but you know, you just get out there and have fun, right?
Speaker 2:well, running is fun to you. I'm still not, and I took it down off of my post the other day when I was talking about running that running is um. The only two things that are fun about running to me is the community and the finish line. So fun I don't. I think, though, I had such a bad um what I can't think of the word a bad idea about running for so long and I said I hate it. I hate it, I hate it. I don't know yet that I've, I've, I may even like it, but I don't know, because I've told myself I hated it, and you know, you tell yourself you don't like a certain food, I don't like that, and you don't want to try it. And then you eat it and you've already got your mind framed that way to where it's bad, and you haven't even tasted it yet. So I think I've got my mind still framed all this time that I hate running and running is stupid, that I haven't flipped the switch to say oh, running is fun, yeah.
Speaker 1:But sometimes running is stupid. So sometimes it's stupid. But hey, good morning. Thank you for listening to us and hearing us ramble about silly stuff sometimes. But I want to talk this morning about five rules for a great year in marriage. And we just want to have fun this morning, have a little light conversation and just talk about marriage and what can make your marriage better this year.
Speaker 1:And you know, for me I don't know about you, but for me last year was a good year in marriage. I actually had a really good year. It was a—I don't know that there was anything specific that stood out. You know we celebrated 33 years and that's not necessarily 30 or 35 or whatever, but it was just a good year. We had a grandbaby last year, we started a podcast last year, we did a lot of fun things and just had a good time together last year. So that's going to be what we're talking about this morning, but before we do, I want you to tell me about your new endeavor that you started and what you're doing the march 21st, 2nd, 23rd. Tell me about what you've got yourself into yes.
Speaker 2:So you and other people kept tagging me in the auditions for um, the tryouts for steel magnolias, and I kept saying absolutely not, I do not want to do that, I don't have. I, very fortunate. I do not mind being in front of people. That I don't. I don't get stage fright, I don't have a problem speaking in front of people. However, I like to do things perfectly. So my fear is not standing in front of you, it's standing in front of you and doing something perfectly. And so I thought there's just no way I can stand in front of people and do that perfectly. But I thought you know just no way I can stand in front of people and do that perfectly. But I thought you know what I'm going to try out. And I tried out, hoping I wouldn't get it. I just wanted to say I had tried out, I've tried out. I've never tried out for theater, but I tried out and I was brave.
Speaker 2:So I did a monologue out of Erin Brockovich. Is that right? Yeah, and then they emailed me that night and offered me a part. And I never saw the email. And so the next day, the owner of the studios, the theater, she said hey, you did good last night. I said, oh thanks, and she kept talking. She said so, do you want to maybe respond to your email and let us know if you're taking the part? I said, oh my gosh, I didn't even know, and I checked my email several times so I did get offered the part of Malin.
Speaker 2:That is going to be new. I mean, everybody wants Weezer and Steel Magnolias because that's just so fun. But after hearing her lines and some of her stuff, I think I am probably best suited for Malia and I like the fact that that is a role that can resonate with me. I was telling you yesterday that I'm noticing that she likes to control her children a little bit. It sounds like her daughter and I can identify with that, having three girls, because sometimes I want them to do what I tell them to do and they should do it the way I said. But I can, and she's Southern and she's a lot of things that I can resonate with and so I think that honestly, that that's gonna be the right role for me. It is gonna be scary to do it and to memorize everything, but yes, it's gonna run for two weekends.
Speaker 1:But that's something new. It's very new. You're stepping out of your comfort zone, I am out of my comfort zone, but it's awesome, and so what's funny is, on the converse of that, is that I've started a new venture. I've started writing a fiction book and, if you know me, I'm a pragmatic guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you hate fiction books. I always try to get you to read something.
Speaker 1:No, absolutely not. I call them fake books. Yeah, and I started writing a fiction book, a fiction book about a megachurch pastor and I can give it away, but not too much A megachurch pastor who dies and they find his diary and the name of the book is the Pastor Diary D-I-E-R-Y and it's a play on diary. And they find his diary, they give it all away and it comes out that he is doing some things that nobody would know. So it's been fun. It's based in Houston, texas, and it's going to be interesting.
Speaker 1:It may really suck and it may fall flat, but you know, I could see it as a Netflix man. That would be awesome. So, anyway, that'd be cool. Yeah, it's going to be fun, but we're just doing different stuff because, you never know, we're the type of people you throw something against the wall and if it sticks, man, that's awesome. If it don't, then you think, well, that was bad, let's throw something else against the wall. So, anyway, but we're going to talk this morning about five rules for a great marriage. Now, are these hard and fast rules? Are these the only rules for a great marriage? Well, are these the only rules for a great marriage? Well, of course not.
Speaker 2:No, because you know we've done a lot of marriage podcasts and so this one is not really as heavy. It's just maybe beginning. You know this is the beginning of the year we're still in January right now and just some things to think of going forward. They're not the five only rules, or the five serious rules even, but they're just five, you know. Just some things to think about.
Speaker 1:Generalization. So let's hop in Number one have fun In your marriage. A great marriage has fun. What does that look like for you? That's a good question. I mean, I know what it looks like for me, but what is having fun in a marriage or having fun with your spouse? What does it look like for you? Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to completely contradict myself here, because I was just saying that running is not fun. But we kind of have fun when we run together, because I make you talk to me. Yeah, you do, and the first time you'll take your headphones out for a second, you'll go what did you say? And then you'll do it a second time.
Speaker 1:And like out for a second, you go what, what did you say? And then you'll do it a second time and then a third time. I think you just give up. I do just take them off and cut them off because I like we're gonna talk, yeah, the whole time.
Speaker 2:Of course you're always telling me if you're talking you're not running fast enough. But I'm running. I would rather talk and run than run fast and run. So, yeah, so we try to make that fun sometimes. That's's, you know, one of the things we do, and you know I like to have fun and I am fun, but I have to get creative of how to have like fun in marriage sometimes Right.
Speaker 1:What do you mean by that? So give me an example.
Speaker 2:We don't always think the same things are fun. No, we do not. No, like you want to sit and watch a baseball game and that's fun for you. Well, that's not fun to me, unless I'm. You know the food, the what, what are we eating there? That's the fun, you know, for me, right?
Speaker 2:but we don't always like and it's, it's um, I had a grieving process and it really hurt, but dirt cheap closed and that was fun for me and I would dirty bird yeah, like every time we were out of town anywhere, even on my birthday, if we were in birmingham for the day, like we would make sure we went to dirt dirt cheap and I would make you go in with me, not sit in the car, because that's fun for me. So that's why I like everything that's fun for me is not fun for you. So we have to get creative sometimes to have fun together.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think that's it. So we have to find ways that we can have fun together, that it's not just one-sided fun, right? Because on my story the other day, or in my memories or whatever, I had taken a picture of you in Dirt Cheap and I said, careful boys, it's a woman in her natural habitat or something like that. And it was Dirt Cheap.
Speaker 2:But you're right, I mean things that are fun for me may not be vice versa, but you have to find things that you can enjoy together, like and we're still exploring that We've said we're going to get. We've talked to Carrie Simmons. We said we're going to get golf lessons. We tried pickleball, but you were going to make it competitive and not fun, so that was not going to work for us. Which?
Speaker 1:is fun for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're still. We're still trying to find some, some things to make sure that we don't get stagnant and that we keep trying to find things to have fun together.
Speaker 1:But you know, like we like experiences and we'll go just, and we've said before, it's not about spending a bunch of money, right, ok, maybe you do. You know that's cool, but it's not always about spending a bunch of money. It's about for us finding unique experiences that we can just go do. That memory is there.
Speaker 2:You said that We've talked about it before. One of the most fun things that we did is we went to an abandoned town down in South Mississippi. We walked all over that. We've actually done two different ones. I can't remember the other one where it was at.
Speaker 1:Catawba over in Alabama.
Speaker 2:That was at Catawba over in Alabama. That was it. But you know, just walking around that abandoned town and those outbuildings, that didn't cost a dime. If we'd have went somewhere we weren't supposed to on that property, it would have cost us a fine if we got in trouble, because I like a little trespass here and there. But I think that started being a realtor because you would have to get into houses that were vacant when they would send you out or like whatever, and so I don't know, maybe that's where my love of trespass come from. But yeah, just finding those fun things and they don't always have to be expensive, so have fun.
Speaker 1:Have fun. Fun is an important thing. And listen, laugh together. You know we have inside jokes and we have inside text and even at church last night she was texting me stuff and I'm like, oh my God, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. It's funny, but I got to pretend that I'm like not paying attention to it so I can read it because it pops up on my watch first and I'm like, oh my God, what is that? And I'm having to look at it. But but you need to have fun and laugh together. You need to find some commonality and just have fun.
Speaker 1:When is the last time and you ask yourself this with your spouse and I'm not talking about when you went on a date and you went to eat? That's fine, I mean, that may be good, that may be fun and that's cool but when is the last time you really had fun together, Like real fun, and no matter what that looks like, it don't have to be anything crazy Serious Just when is the last time you had fun? Great marriages have fun and they really really are able to gel together in those moments and not just the moments where there's tears or where there's hurt or there's pain but they also can laugh together and grow, and I think fun is important. So what else?
Speaker 2:Speak well about your spouse. I think the older I get, this really bothers me and gets on my nerves. And I'm looking to get to the age nerves and and say I'm looking to get to the age I was telling my girls, like at what age can you address people in walmart that are acting crazy and get by with it? Or you can just say things to people that you think they need to hear and get by with it. I'm 51, I don't know if I'm quite there yet, but this is off.
Speaker 2:This is like off a little bit, but I heard this woman speaking terrible to her children in walmart and I stood there and I stared and I thought am I old enough to go over there and say do we need to stop and pray for a minute? Are you having a bad day? What's going on here to cause you to act like this? Because I don't know that I'm quite at that age yet to get by with it. But going back to speaking well about your spouse, like this bothers me sometimes and the older I get and like the more we grow in marriage and the more in love we are, this bothers me. It's fine to do a little funny, like, as long as they're not hurtful or mean. But the serious stuff you know, um, hey, like I hadn't seen your wife at the gym lately, no, she's just sitting at home getting fat and all she does is eat. Like that just bothers me so bad. Like things, little little things like that. You know, I know you had an encounter with someone and we won't we can't go into detail about that, but it just blew your mind.
Speaker 2:No, we can't, we can't. We have listeners that listen, but you know it blew your mind, the things that the husband was saying about his wife, and you told me and we both were just in shock. And so speak, speak well about your spouse. You know, and you speak well about your spouse in front of people. They'll live up to that. Sometimes too, it may not be 100 percent, but like he is a great man, he is so, like he has so much wisdom and he's so. Whatever, you know some of the things you say they'll hear and they'll hear how you speak about them. And I think you know some of the things you say they'll hear and they'll hear how you speak about them. And I think you know I need I didn't know I was doing great at that, but I want to, I want to be that, I want to rise up to that. So speak, speak well. I mean, I'm sure you have something to say about that.
Speaker 1:Well, no, I think I think you, your spouse, listens to what you say. They hear what you say and they hear what you say to other people about them, whether you think they're listening or not, those little subtle jabs that you know, you say, are those things. Like you know it's, it's just one of those things. It gets personal sometimes and you have to speak well to your spouse. You know, and again, I'm emotional guy, like I'm a romantic guy. I say more nice, romantic things to you probably than you do, just because that's my nature and you know, even on Facebook I may post something sweet about you or post a picture of you because I genuinely love you and I genuinely feel those things in that moment. You know, I've seen people say you know, sign of a good relationship is not seen anywhere on Facebook, and that's just not true. Sometimes, you know, I want to people say you know, sign of a good relationship is not seen anywhere on Facebook, and that's just not true. Sometimes, you know, I want to speak well of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because some people you don't even know they're married, they don't ever say you never know they have a spouse.
Speaker 1:You're like. You don't say they're married. What is this? You know, and so you know I'm not talking about you. Got to go on and on and on. On Facebook post about your spouse is actually nice. It lets people know hey, this is, this is what I think about this person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I gotta do better at that sometimes.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's okay, I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I don't need it. I'm just telling you that that's that's for people who deal with that. But I think, speaking well of your spouse, even when I'm talking to people who may not know you, I want to make sure that I that, that I don't and here's the thing I don't embellish, I don't make you better than you are. That's, I know that sounds like that's terrible, that's awful. No, I just tell them the truth. She's a wonderful person, she's beautiful, she's intelligent, she's smart, she's a go-getter, she's caring. I just want to be funny.
Speaker 1:I don't care about any of that, and inadvertently sometimes, you, you're funny, but I, I, I think for the most part, the thing I tell people about you is that you're probably one of the most caring people that I know. That's probably your most endearing trait, that and I'm just going to say it because people assume that because you're tough and you're you, you're you, you, you are outspoken that you're not caring or you're not kind but probably for me, as your husband, your most endearing trait is what you, how much you care for somebody and and they may not, people may not even be able to see that particular thing sometimes, but I know it and I see it and it is, it is. It is a really really good trait. But I know it and I see it and it is, it is. It is a really really good trait. So thank you for being that person. Well, thank you yeah.
Speaker 1:Thank you. So talk well about your spouse. You know, if they're fat and lazy, don't call them fat and lazy. Tell them you're a man of God. You know you're going to be able to do this. I'm telling you you'll get off. You speak well about them and also speak well to them. I think that's important too. So you know, the other thing I think to have a great marriage is not only speak well about your spouse, but you need to be slow to speak and quick to forgive, and what does that look like for you?
Speaker 2:Well, we talk so much, we know each other so well. Sometimes we can talk very casually and sometimes you can say some crazy stuff, but, yes, and so I have to say, okay, what, what do you mean? Like how, what did you, what are you talking about, or whatever. And it's not that. And then I listen and it's not exactly like what I thought you were trying to say or something like that. And so I think just slow, to slow to speak, sometimes, even even if you're angry, if you've been doing something that's just been driving me up the wall and I'm angry.
Speaker 2:Be slow to speak, instead of just getting mad and, you know, slamming something down and flying off the handle about it. Be slow to speak and say, ok, we got it. Can we take a second to talk about this? This is how I've been feeling about this. I don't want it to get out of hand. I don't want resentment to build. I don't like staying angry Like let's, let's talk about this and then talk through it and whatever it is. Be quick to forgive and even sometimes, if you don't have the conversation, if something was, if something is just going on with your spouse and maybe they're not having a great day not, you know, don't take that personal. Just be quick to forgive and move on. Um, you know, because let's you know, we're together a lot and I know I don't, I can't imagine, I don't know what those things are, but I'm sure there's things I do every once in a while that get on your nerves.
Speaker 2:No never, and the only reason I say that is because there's things that you do sometimes that get on my nerves, and so I'm trying to learn how to talk and go. This is a good man. This is a man who's very loyal to you, he's very loyal to his family, he always has your best interest at heart, and so so what if this small thing happened? Move on. What does it matter? What is it going to matter tomorrow? What is this big enough to to keep going over in your head or have an issue about?
Speaker 1:no, okay, then then move on yeah, and it's hard, man, being slow to speak is one of those things. It is so hard because every time you get on my nerves, there's so many things I just want to say and I'm like that ain't true, that's a lot, that oh, oh, oh. And you know how it is, because in your mind you're like oh, oh, oh, oh, come on, come on, finish, finish. And then, like you'll say something I think you're finished. I'll say something You're going to let me finish, I think you're finished. I'll say something You're going to let me finish. And I'm like hurry up, because I want to say but, but being slow to speak, I think what I'm learning is that if I will slowly process the information and just say you know what, even though I think that she's full of it, and that is not true If I say what I'm thinking right now, this thing is going to turn from a one or two to a 12, on a scale from one to 10.
Speaker 1:And then we're going to be talking about each other's mama, and then we're going to be talking about you said and you didn't and you never, and that is your right being slow to speak and it's hard. So I'm not here to tell you that we've fixed all that, because it is hard to do that and a lot of men. This is how you know if a man wants to see if you've forgiven him or not, he'll wake up the next morning like nothing ever happened. You ever had that happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You go to bed and you know she's mad, she's pulled the covers over there, don't touch me, don't look at me, don't even let your foot come over here. And then you're like the next morning you just wake up. Hey, darling, how are you? Everything good, can I get you something? And you pretend nothing happened. And so if she has forgiven you and she moves on, then you're like, thank Jesus. But it comes back up at some point too.
Speaker 2:But I think but no, not really. If you're quick to forgive, then you. Then you need to forgive and it don't need to come back up, but it will because you want to talk about it.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about that. But I do think you're right. It's being slow to speak and quick to forgive, and being quick to forgive is a godly trait, you know. Not holding on to bitterness, not holding on to bitterness, not holding on to resentment, just saying you know what you're right, unless it's a major situation like that that you really have to process and work through. If somebody just makes you mad, or they don't go your way and they're having a bad day, or you're having a bad day, look, just wake up.
Speaker 2:Tomorrow let's go get it again yeah, I think holding on to small grievances is. You know, I wonder if if's just you just want to be miserable or you want to be not happy, because holding on to small grievances and not moving on is just harmful to you too and it blocks you being happy and having joy. So it's, I mean it's pointless to hold on to small grievances, it's harmful.
Speaker 1:It is One of my favorite reels. Man is hilarious is. The wife is fuming mad and I'm not going to talk to him today. And then, on the other end of it, the husband's like man, what a peaceful day this, this has been awesome. And not knowing that, hell hath no fury until he gets home, man, and you know, because I've been there before, I'm thinking this has been a good day. And then I get home and I go no, it ain't so. Again, I do like slow to speak and quick to forgive.
Speaker 1:And you know you are way more forgiving than I am. You're easier to forgive or not keeping score?
Speaker 1:I don't know yeah you are, because I'm a little meaner, so anyway. So again, another great rule for marriage is communicating about your goals, your objectives or your dreams, and we were talking about that this morning is communicating about goals and about what you hope to accomplish, or objectives or dreams, and getting on the same page, getting the same book and heading in the right direction with each other. I mean that makes for a great marriage, because if you will tell me what's expected, then I have a hundred percent more of a chance to actually accomplish that and us have a great marriage than I do. If I don't know what you expect. You know, and so I mean you were talking about that this morning if we have an objective let's say our objective this year is we're going to pay off.
Speaker 1:If you have a credit card, that we've got a ten thousand dollar credit card, our objective is to pay that off this year. Well then, that then that. Then we know together that we have to cut this out or we have to do this different or we have to whatever, because our objective is the same and we've communicated about it and it's not that you decided you want to pay the credit card off and I'm like I don't? I'm not doing that I'm I'm fixing to go eat, so, uh, we're not cooking at home cause I'd rather go, or something of that nature. So communication about those things is important.
Speaker 2:Well, and even goals or dreams. You know we were talking about what I'm doing right now. I auditioned for the play, but we talked, we had two very long conversations about it. Ok, this is how this is going to affect us and our schedule. This is how it could affect you. I'm going to be gone at night, right. Then we're going to affect us and our schedule. This is how it could affect you. I'm going to be gone at night, right. Then we're going to be. You know, I can't. There's weeks I can't go anywhere and do anything.
Speaker 2:Once I do this, and so we had to talk about that as a couple. I didn't just go try out and come home and tell you, hey, you need to, just, yeah, heads up, I'm not going to be here all these nights and days, and you know, sorry about your luck, go find something to do. The same thing when you're running the 50-mile race, you talk to me about what that's going to look like with your training and with everything that goes into that, and what your nutrition is going to need to look like. That's right, and so you know we try to talk about that to make sure we're both on board, and that's something we you know, you, you, you were invited to go to Greece. We've been invited a few times with Spartan. You've qualified to go to Greece in November and we've talked about that and said you know, it's just, it's just not a it's just, it's just not a.
Speaker 1:I would love to go, but it's just not right. Yeah, and, and I think that communication is you're married, ok, you're married. You don't get to make unilateral decisions. If you're doing that, stop, like I'll say, just stop making unilateral decisions and consider your spouse. I don't care if it's the husband going out and making a purchase, I don't care if it's the wife going out and making decisions. Stop because there's another person involved in this marriage.
Speaker 2:You know and I was about to say you know, especially on big things, but even the small things it's often that you hear spouses that say my husband or my wife is going every weekend doing X, y, z. Maybe my wife goes and runs marathons every weekend and she's gone. Maybe my husband is playing golf with somebody every weekend or hunting, and he's gone. I think you know have to communicate about those things, like is this cool with you? Is there anything that you want to do as a family instead? Is this cool with you If I go and I'm gone from sunup till sundown on Saturday? You know, I think you know communicating, I think, makes everybody happier instead of just taking advantage of the other person's. You know.
Speaker 1:Being quick to forgive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, being quick to forgive that you just make selfish decisions on your own over and over and over again.
Speaker 1:That's right and I think that's important. So finally, you know, is getting or keep on getting to know each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you know, we've even discovered some things over the past little bit, past few weeks, and you were like, well, I didn't even know you thought about that or cared about that. And I'm like, well, yeah, you know, just whatever it is Learning how to know each other now and I've said it before, be a raving fan of your spouse. Not just you know, I don't really know. I don't really know, I don't know what she likes, I don't know what he likes. Find out, you know, and and get to know them a little bit and uh, so know what, know what, what they want from the gas station.
Speaker 2:If you're passing one by and you're on your way home, what would their? What would their go-to be? If you got me a three musketeers, I would probably. I would probably go sleep in another bedroom but?
Speaker 1:but if you don't know, get the last three things you've heard her say, and that way you'll at least get it right. You know, I was thinking about you and I wanted to get you something, and I actually got you three things and I just want you to be able to enjoy them.
Speaker 2:And the truth is, sometimes you may not exactly know which one it is, but getting to know them and you just told me your secret, because I wonder sometimes, when you know that I'm even cutting back on sugar and you come home with two or three things. I know now why you do that it changes sometimes.
Speaker 1:I just want to make sure that I can at least get in the ballpark.
Speaker 2:I was stuck on the dark Milky Way night or something for such a long time. And then I moved off of it for a while. You went to Twix.
Speaker 2:I'm not really a Twix girl anymore, so it mine does change a little bit every once in a while I'll just throw a real like monkey, but you're so the same, and then that's where we're so different. You are so that you can get the same. You can get a Reese. You can pretty much clock it. You're going to get a Reese's cup if you went to the gas station every single time.
Speaker 1:Well, I may get something wild like a hundred grand bar, Like yeah like I would eat it if that's the only thing left in the house, but like that's not my go to. You know what I mean. But again, getting to know those little things and spending time with them and listen, you know that's, that's one thing. Listen to your spouse as they're speaking to others or talking about things, or or even to you or whatever, in a group. Make some notes. You know this is what, this is what she likes, this is what he likes, and and just make those little little gifts or whatever little little things and it matters so.
Speaker 1:So to to finish this up, because we were talking about getting to know each other, I got some questions and this will be interesting so we can get to know. And if you tune out to Q&A, god bless you, but this is just some fun stuff that I want to ask you. So, first question if you could pick a different city to live in without having to worry about proximity to family and friends, what city would it be? Let's see if I can get it in my head. Okay, I got it.
Speaker 1:I've got two but there's only one New York. Really, I was thinking about Miami. Yeah, and that was my guess is Miami.
Speaker 2:It's just that it would be hot all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I love Miami, but there's so much more like to do in New York so I don't know. I would split my time.
Speaker 1:No, you have to have one. See, for me it would be New York.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I would choose New York time.
Speaker 2:Well, I would come see you six months out of the year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we could split time, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool. So if you could plan a vacation with us, for us, no money, it didn't matter what it cost, just where would you plan a vacation for me and you?
Speaker 2:Probably a 10-day tour. You know, I'm finding that I'm indecisive about what I like or what I would want to do.
Speaker 1:if we're just this is actually good. We're going to continue to see.
Speaker 2:Would I go for Australia or would I go for, I don't know, my continents is Australia and Europe? No, it is not so Europe, maybe somewhere there. Yeah, okay, yeah, that's what I would do. Okay, I can't be. 10 days is about as long as I want to. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think for me would you go. I would probably go to uh ireland yes, yeah, that would be good too that state of castle, somewhere like that, something, something unique.
Speaker 2:I just think that'd be a two or three day though, because, like it's all it looks in on instagram, it all looks the same well, it probably is the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know that that would be something that I would. I would do. Um, here's a question what? What are you most sentimental about, like that, what's the thing that gets you sentimental immediately?
Speaker 2:Objects, objects that hold memories or belong to people.
Speaker 1:Really, yes, okay, I think for me it is pictures, pictures. Pictures make me sentimental real quick, whether it is our marriage or whether it's a kid being born or a birthday party or something of that nature, because in that, in that picture holds a value and it brings a memory of where we were in that moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I can see that, because you're definitely a picture guy and you take more pictures than me. But the problem with pictures with me is I never remember anything. So when I look at a picture I have no idea where we were, what we were doing, or so that's. Yeah, I can see that because you have more memories tied to probably pictures when you look at them.
Speaker 1:That's right yeah, I do, I do okay cool um let's see, I got some more questions here. What is, uh? What weird thing stresses you out more than it should? I'll have to think about that one. You can come back to it. You can come back to it.
Speaker 2:What weird thing stresses you out more than it should? Of course, you've seen the questions already.
Speaker 1:You had time to think.
Speaker 2:That's a good question because, I don't know, there's a lot of things that stresses me out. I don't know that this is weird, but I mean it's not having a plan, so I don't know that that's weird, but even going somewhere.
Speaker 1:I can see that.
Speaker 2:We were talking in another podcast about boundaries and I had to say no to going on a youth trip and I kept asking, like, what is the plan? And I kept asking like what's, what is the plan? So, like I, it would make me nervous going somewhere and I'd be really stressed if I went somewhere with a group of people and I did not know what the plan was. So I don't know if everybody else would be stressed about that, but I would probably be the most stressed person in the group. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:OK, when, when do you feel like you're most in your element? You feel like you're most in your element, like I'm talking about comfort zone, baby, just mach 10, mach 5, whatever it is, wide open. You, I mean it's you, you own that space probably in my kitchen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, yeah, absolutely probably in my kitchen.
Speaker 1:I like that answer. I like that answer.
Speaker 2:You got cake but there's usually yes, there's usually going to be. I'm going to be dipping into the big canister of sugar at some point, usually in my time in the kitchen. Yeah, what is yours?
Speaker 1:I think when, um, when I am leading a group of people, that is when I feel like I'm in my element. Yeah, I can see that and, uh, feel the most comfortable. Whether it is coaching, whether it is it is leading a ministry or anything like that, I feel very in my element. I never have to second guess myself with those things because it's just comfort zone, you know, and OK, cool.
Speaker 2:Do one more.
Speaker 1:Let's do one more. Let's see. This one will finish with this one. If you could relive one year of your life Out of 51 years, what is that one year that you would relive?
Speaker 2:That's a hard one because I don't have great memories so I wouldn't be able to line up what year was what year. That's a hard one for me.
Speaker 1:Is it?
Speaker 2:Yes, I would really really have to think about that. That's not an easy one, that's a hard one for me. Is it? Yes, I would really really have to think about that. That's not an easy one, that's a really hard one. Give me something else. Give me something easy you want something easy?
Speaker 1:Yeah, easy, easy. Let's give you something easy. What about? What small pleasures give you the most joy?
Speaker 2:Finding something on sale, especially if it's really really cheap, and then I have to tell everybody Like a good find to me is like so exciting. Yeah, because I feel like Christopher Columbus out there Is that who it was who explored.
Speaker 1:A lot of people explored.
Speaker 2:No, I'm thinking of somebody else. Who's the explorer?
Speaker 1:Lewis and.
Speaker 2:Clark. Maybe I feel like Lewis and Clark out there If I found something that was like a fantastic deal or just something.
Speaker 1:History buff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, yeah Me yeah Is that a joke?
Speaker 1:It is a joke.
Speaker 2:I thought you were serious for a second no.
Speaker 1:No, I think for me. What small pleasure gives me the most joy and this is just a recent thing with me, because it changes is when I bring you your coffee in the morning, I kiss you on the forehead, and that small gesture probably brings me more joy than standing before any congregation or running any race or having any accolade, because that means that I have one more day to love you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow, that's really good. Yeah, I get excited about finding shoes on clearance and now you're like going deep on me. I'm going deep, I feel terrible.
Speaker 1:I'm going deep, deep, yeah. Yeah, don't know, don't know what life you want to live, what year you want to live, but anyway, no, that's just a little bit about us and I thought that would be a fun way, yeah so we are definitely still getting to know each other, yeah hey, I'm brad, nice to meet you. Yeah, you want to go out?
Speaker 2:yeah, we talk about that all the time, of what, how, how, if we had to do it right now, how we'd be able to snag each other. Yeah, it's so funny because remember some of the stuff you said to me.
Speaker 1:I said I would shut you down so quick but you know, I've really thought about it and I have been since. We've said yeah, because I told her I would tell her how beautiful she is because she is beautiful. And she said I don't bother, I don't care about none of that. And I'm thinking, you know, but I thought about it the other day, I wouldn't be chasing you, it'd be the other way around. You'd be trying to come to me and say, hey, you're beautiful, okay big boy.
Speaker 1:So anyway, I'm just messing, but hey, listen, we just want to encourage you. Listen, life is hard sometimes and marriage is not easy. Sometimes you have to deal with kids, you have to deal with family. You have to deal with with kids, you have to deal with family. You have to deal with work, you have to deal with loss, you have to deal with grief, you have to deal with joy. There's all kind of things that you deal with with your marriage. But you can have a great marriage. You absolutely can have a great marriage and I think, learning how to have fun together, you know, being able to speak well about your spouse, I think being slow to speak and quick to forgive, that's really, really important.
Speaker 1:Communicating about where you're at in your life and some things that you want, and it's okay to have dreams and goals and visions, but communicate those and, I think, finally, just keep getting to know each other. Just like that we have an idea what we think our spouse is. But I learned some things today. You know, I learned some things about you today and those are the questions you got to have, I think, just riding down the road, just asking the question what do you think about how? Tell me about and you'll learn a whole bunch, and not take for granted that you know what your spouse wants anymore.
Speaker 1:And it changes, it does, it does and it's okay to change. That's what we talked about in our first podcast is growth and maturity. It's okay to change, and so we want to encourage you. Hey, listen, great marriages are out there. We've gotten one, but it's been work. They don't come free and they're not cheap, right? So don't think that you're going to rock 40 years and just be the same as you were when that I do, right? So, anyway, any final thoughts? Any final words?
Speaker 2:Just keep getting to know each other what to pick up at the gas station, that's so important, and now my secret has been exposed.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, keep on keeping on. Hey, listen, we want to encourage you to hop in the flow with somebody who is going the way you want to go, and I promise you the other side will be fantastic, fantastic. Thank you so much for listening this morning. We'll see you soon. Brush it all, pick myself up, moving on to the better. Okay, hey, yeah, ain't no errors, baby, it's a new era. I wake up early feeling rich, like I'm cash. I get to the paper
