Hustle & Flow
Join us for the wisdom, humor and insight from a married couple of 33 years on the hustle and flow of life.
We have worked so many types of jobs over 33 years. We have worked in the service industry, retail, corporate and blue collar work. We have been Realtors for 18 years, managing property, flipping houses and owning short term rentals. We have worked staff work which includes everything from Pastoring to Youth Pastoring to Children’s ministry.
We have been involved in CrossFit for over 11 years, owning a gym, coaching and actively working out. We are involved in Spartan races and travel the nation competing.
We own a Dessert Cafe called Crave in Downtown Tupelo that has been open since 2014. We currently have three locations.
We have raised four children and currently have two grandchildren. Family is of utmost importance to us.
We have a life full of stories that we can’t wait to share with you.
Hustle & Flow
Embracing Honesty: Transforming Relationships Through Truth
Have you ever wondered how much honesty plays a role in your relationships? This week, we dive into the transformative power of truth. From personal stories to the psychological motivations behind lying, we explore all angles of honesty. Discover the delicate balance of being truthful while also being kind and considerate, especially in moments that matter.
We discuss why transparency is vital in relationships, highlighting how honest communication can clear misunderstandings and deepen connections. Get ready to challenge yourself as we address the implications of being too honest and the often uncomfortable truths behind our social lives. We want to encourage you to reflect on your honesty journey—are you truthful with yourself and those around you? Your thoughts and experiences matter! Tune in to explore these crucial questions, and leave us your comments or reviews. Help us spread the importance of honesty in our lives!
Hey, good morning. Good morning. Hope you're having a great morning on this Tuesday morning with my wife, tiffany. This is Brad. We're the host of the Hustle Flow podcast, season two, here we're just breaking in. This is our fourth episode this season. Hope you guys have been listening to it and enjoying it. We'd appreciate reviews, five-star reviews, if you think we've earned them. And good morning, tiffany.
Speaker 2:Good morning.
Speaker 1:How's things going with you?
Speaker 2:Things are going good. You know I am still in the middle of play practice for steel magnolias. That's been interesting. You know, in the beginning when I started I thought there's absolutely no way I can learn my lines. And now I'm actually doing pretty well learning my lines. But now I want to make sure that I'm not just a monotone fish standing there reading my lines. So that's been work too, but it's. It's fun to do something I've never done before. I'm trying to think what is my next thing that I've never done before? Going to be it's not going to be anything like learning to skateboard, like that's it's it doesn't need to be anything.
Speaker 2:I can tell you that now no, it doesn't need to be anything that could cause danger or peril. So I don't know what is my next thing, that I'm going to learn to do, or that I'm going to just attempt to do that I've never done before I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's a good question, right, I think. But but I like the aspect of you thinking I'm going to do something now. You know something new, something different, and that's pretty cool to know that there may be something else out there. I mean, who knows?
Speaker 2:Maybe I should learn to dance. Okay, I would love for it to be like hip-hop breakdance, but I don't know that that's going to be attainable, so maybe I need to learn country western line dancing. I don't know that that's going to be attainable, so maybe I need to learn country western line dancing. I don't know. Just something useful, please do.
Speaker 1:Please do.
Speaker 2:I don't know that we'll ever forget the Olympics and the breakdance lady and just how crazy and off the wall that was.
Speaker 1:Horrible. Well, this morning, our subject is going to be the power of honesty. Well, this morning our subject is going to be the power of honesty, and we're going to talk about just the power in being honest as a person.
Speaker 2:the power of being honest to each other and to other people. I just started thinking about that in context with even me running lines, sometimes me asking you, how'd that sound? And you've got to say, well, it's okay, but not just saying, saying that was terrible, that was just you re-say that or redo that, or even in in things we do sometimes and try just being honest.
Speaker 1:That immediately just came up yeah, because I think that's important. But we do think the power of honesty is important and we're going to talk about that. We're excited too. We're actually this season we're going to bring some guests on, and so we're working with a couple people right now actually two or three other people but I'm trying to nail down some schedules.
Speaker 1:I've got my boy, katie hill, and if you're an person, you know who katie is. Katie's a phenomenal guy and excited to be able to have katie on. So hoping that that'll manifest real soon, working with his schedule. And then I'm just going to be able to have KD on. So we're hoping that'll manifest real soon, working with his schedule. And then I'm just going to be honest with you. I'm not sure.
Speaker 1:I don't know the lady's name because she's only known as Leratom Fitness L-E-R-A-T-O-M. Leratom Fitness on Instagram and I've contacted her. She's from the UK and she's agreed to come on the podcast. She to her she's from the uk and she's agreed to come on the podcast. Um, she is. She describes herself as a plus size fitness enthusiast and, uh, she's got an incredible story and we've talked about her a little bit. But I'm excited to be able to get her on and and talk about that. So her and katie will be a couple great guests coming up soon, uh, and then tiffany working on a couple of things as well, and we're excited about that. So, uh, we, so we're looking forward to this season, because this season, I think, is going to bring some clarity to what Hustle Flow looks like, and I'm pretty excited about that. So let's hop in and talk about the power of honesty. Let's just hop right in.
Speaker 2:You know this one, like for me, you know my whole life people have said well she's, they've described me as real blunt, and or she says whatever she's thinking, or all those things. Sometimes those things are used to. Sometimes I feel like that's an unfair rap. I don't know that I'm necessarily getting ahead of myself anywhere, Cause I was just thinking about this just now, like just because I've never been afraid to tell the truth. You sometimes get a bad rap. They'll just, you know they say whatever, or they're just, they're real blunt.
Speaker 2:Now, being blunt also can sometimes I had to really work to reel that in, because in learning, when I don't need to speak at all, just because it may be the truth or I think it needs to be said or whatever, but those tie into being, I guess, a person who is not afraid of honesty. Sometimes because you're blunt, You're not afraid to say what it is you're thinking. If you're in a meeting and everything you're hearing in that meeting just sounds like nonsense, you're not afraid to say can we stop for a second and really think about that, Because I don't think that's going to work like you think that's going to work Instead of the person that just sits there and is afraid to speak up and say they've not thought any of that through. That's not going to work, whatever the situation is. Does that make sense? Absolutely Okay.
Speaker 1:So here's my question then All right, so if you're known as that person who for your whole life has been blunt or outspoken or whatever, where did that come from for you? How did that originate? So I mean, you're nine years old, you're 10 years old, and I have always been that person.
Speaker 1:Have you really? Yes, that's interesting to me because when I look at your pictures sometime when you were younger because I only started we started dating when you were 16. So that's when I got to know Tiffany. I don't know 13-year-old Tiffany. I don't know 13-year-old Tiffany. I don't know 9-year-old Tiffany. The Tiffany that I see in a picture is just a sweet-looking little girl holding a cat, petting a cat, and so if I look at that picture, I probably wouldn't assume that that little girl was an outspoken person.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe not necessarily that, but by fifth or sixth grade? Yes, definitely. I think this is the first thing that comes to mind and this may be so off the wall. I guess I didn't have a healthy dose of self-preservation and enough, maybe, sense to think well, they're not going to think of you, You're going to be thought of as different or whatever. If you say something that may need to be said or that you're going to be thought of as different or whatever. If you say something that may need to be said or that you think needs to be said, like I said, I've had to learn everything I said before the age of whatever. A lot of it probably did not need to be said and we'll talk about that, but I think I just wasn't as concerned with what anybody thought about me to not speak what was on my mind yeah because sometimes that that goes in with that.
Speaker 2:You know, being truthful and honest can be also speaking what's on your mind and not being afraid to speak what's on your mind that's interesting to to think of it that way, that that maybe you didn't think about self-preservation, um, you know, and that's well, I was the. This is obnoxious and I do not recommend it, but I was the kid that, like if my english teacher was misspelling words on the board, I would say, hey, you miss, you misspelled that. That's not that way, or?
Speaker 1:sheldon cooper yeah, something I don't know yeah, that's hilarious, that little young children or whatever. He's telling his teacher the math is wrong. She's like no, no, it's not. And he said, no, no, it is. And she goes back and checks it and it's wrong. That's interesting, though.
Speaker 1:You know, I was always. I don't know like I am now, I'm an outspoken person now but I don't think growing up that I was outspoken and I don't know why I don't. You know, I don't think there's anything specific, not that I was a liar, because I don't remember and maybe I was, I don't know. Maybe I was a huge liar and I just deceived myself, but I don't recall myself being known as a liar, you know. But I just didn myself. But I don't recall myself being known as a liar, but I just didn't. It wasn't, I think, because I didn't say anything. People didn't know if I was lying or not. Now I did tell some lies, just to be honest. I remember one specific lie and I may have told it on here before, but telling my teacher I went to the Statue of Liberty in third grade over spring break was the biggest lie I'd ever told. But anyway, so I have told some lies in my day. But the power of honesty. But why do people lie? I mean, you know, Lots of different motivations.
Speaker 2:What was it?
Speaker 1:our friend Scott. Remember what was it Scott used to say. He said I love this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd rather. And he said about himself. He said I I'd rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth.
Speaker 1:And that's the truth, and I'm going to tell you, liars are.
Speaker 2:He was something else. He was so colorful and his lies were sometimes fun, but he also had such wild things that happened to him. You really didn't know what was true and what was a lie.
Speaker 1:That's right Colorful.
Speaker 2:He was very colorful A colorful liar?
Speaker 1:Yes, he was. So people lie for different reasons, Right? I mean?
Speaker 2:one of the. You know you lie to get out of a speeding ticket.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know you've got to get to the bathroom or whatever else is going on.
Speaker 1:My favorite was I had no idea how fast I was going and the whole time cruise was set on 85. 85, that's a low number For you. It is, yes, it absolutely is a low number.
Speaker 2:I would probably get creative and say this is a new vehicle for me. I had no idea how fast it goes Just colorful lines, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, colorful, Right. I think people and we've talked about this attaining a reward or maybe something that otherwise is not attainable, and so tell me.
Speaker 2:The first thing that comes to mind for me is a cheater. Like we do CrossFit and it is known in the CrossFit world that sometimes people don't know how to count their reps they're going to put on the board that they did something that they did not do.
Speaker 1:that's a nice way of saying nobody believes it.
Speaker 2:Everybody's laughing behind because nobody believes yeah, I've had friends that text me and say, like you know, good and well, she did not do that in that time or whatever. Um and but. But the thing is is that's it. And cheating is a lie because you are, you're, you're not being truthful about whatever it is, so that, so that you could otherwise like, if you want to beat everybody on the board and you're not qualified in whatever it was that day, to beat everybody on the board, lying, to beat everybody on the board, just other things like on test, on whatever it is, to get something that's not attainable otherwise. It's why we lie sometimes to get in somebody's good graces, even.
Speaker 1:But you know that's interesting you lie to get something that's not attainable. And it could very well be that it's not attainable for you or that you're not willing to put in the work to get it. So you want to lie so you can pretend you've attained something instead of putting in the work.
Speaker 2:Well, even something integrity-wise. Like you know, getting a free meal at Harvey's is not attainable. But if you lie and say there was a hair in it, well, it may be then. But it becomes an integrity issue and I probably digress a little bit and get a little bit off of it no, but you're right.
Speaker 1:So I think you know people lie because of that. They lie to win the admiration of others. You know approval is needed and I would say say I don't know, do you think women lie more?
Speaker 2:or men man? I guess it depends on what it's about. Do men lie about hunting and do men lie about hunting and fishing? So how much they can lift? I know that's a big one. I can bench 325, I can bench 350. No, neither of you can um, I don't know, that's a tough one. I really don't know.
Speaker 1:I guess it depends on what it's about yeah, I guess so too, but but I know men do. Women need the approval of others as much as men do?
Speaker 2:no, I think. I do think women probably need approval more than men do, and we've had long, lengthy conversations sometimes about why all that is. But I think even I think about even just lying about your life. You see all these movies that are really cute and really funny about people going back to their hometown and they rent a date or they lie about a job that they've already lost or all those things. But we get, you know, we can sometimes get around people that we used to know or went to school with and we immediately start padding and, you know, exaggerating how wonderful of a life we have. Or on Facebook, we may look, make our family look like they're all so angelic and so precious and so, whatever, when in you know, when, in essence, essence, you may not be able to stand the middle kid that week, or whatever, like yeah, I know, but um but yeah, no, but you know you said that that I was thinking about, and don't misunderstand me.
Speaker 1:Like I enjoy going back and visiting old friends from high school, like when we have reunions or like we had a group we've talked about before we went and heard a friend of ours play bluegrass or like blue stuff. It's cool, you know what I'm saying. But it is weird, though, when people go back to high school reunions and those type things that they do have to pad their life. You know that it's got. I've got to make sure I put the girdle on and I've got to lift the girls up to where they're supposed to be and I've got to make sure, you know. And I've got to drive this car and I've got to, you know, or whatever it is.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, because we want to, I guess, show that we made it. I was just laughing because I think, like for me, all I had to do was stay out of prison and not get married six times, and I've already probably beat some people's expectation of where I would end up in life.
Speaker 1:So you did go and write that book. I didn't end up in prison, nor have I been married multiple times.
Speaker 2:Yeah or not?
Speaker 1:six times.
Speaker 2:Yeah, whatever. So I think I've probably already blown a lot of people's expectation just because of different things in my in, in my life and my upbringing of where I would land. So I don't really have to pad much. I can just I can just show up and probably I've already beat the maybe beat the expectation.
Speaker 1:But but you're right. I mean and I've said this before that social media is such a liar, it is such a lie, and People do not put their failures out there, except for the person who just puts all their garbage on Facebook. But people don't. You know, when they take a picture it's and women do this God bless y'all. We have to have 64 pictures to get the right one, the right angle, because that's the running joke is. These are the pictures I posted of my husband and it shows him looking cool over balconies or him behind this cigar. He's looking cool and then the wife is looking like all crazy, the ones that they post. But you have to put your best out there because you don't want your social media friends to think less of you. Yeah, and it does. You have to have the admiration of others, yeah, and, and it does, you have to have the admiration of others.
Speaker 1:I think getting out of another another reason people lies, they get out of maybe awkward social situations or just getting out of stuff. I will give myself away if you text me or call me and said hey, bro, do you want to go, or do you want to go Friday night to watch these people throw horseshoes. I'm going to say I don't know. Man, I need to ask my wife and see if we've got plans to check it out, you know, and because the truth is no, I don't want to go, like I absolutely don't want to go. And I heard the John Chris thing I showed you yesterday. He's talking about guys going on guys trips. He said they're boring yesterday. He's talking about guys going on guys trips.
Speaker 2:He said they're boring he said he's like no, I don't want to go, like so you get out of social situations. I think that's funny, because sometimes we don't. We just say, no, you know, I I don't want to go to that or I don't think that that fits in our schedule right now, or whatever. Instead, we've got you know we lie. We've got something going on or something real important to do. That's the night we give our cat a bath. Yeah, whatever it is, I can't make it.
Speaker 1:I got plans and my plans is. I'm up under that blanket is what it is, but it is the power of honesty. How much better would it be and it's not easy, but how much better would it be if you're my friend and you call me and say, hey, would you like to go Friday night to, and me just say, no, I don't really want to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it would be better, because that's what we'll talk about eventually. Just being honest and just, you know, thinking about just to like stay at home. If you've stayed home, sometimes we lie to not be embarrassed and springboarding off. You know, you just not wanting to go, whatever. I'm sure people make up reasons why their spouse is not at functions instead of saying he really don't like none of y'all Zero, he did not want to come because he don't like none of y'all.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we've had times, I know, at church. We've asked certain people it's funny the reasons people will come up with why their spouse is not there. But then you'll find somebody that just says says they just didn't want to come today. It's too cold, they were in a mood they didn't want to come today, instead of, oh, they're just not feeling well or they're afraid they're coming down with something or all the things.
Speaker 1:It's a case of I don't want to come either.
Speaker 2:Yeah, instead of just afraid of embarrassment, just say I just absolutely did not want to come, but of embarrassment to say I just absolutely did not want to come.
Speaker 1:But I think the power, just power of honesty is so important, even in the small things. And it is hard Listen, you know I can't answer for Mike, I can't answer for you but sometimes it's hard. Just to be honest. It is, and I don't know why the world would be a better place if we could just be honest. But lying is so prevalent and it's easy. Lying is easy and it's really easy just to tell a little fib or a little just untruth or just kind of, just because you know there's a lot of reasons. But why should we be honest? Why should I be honest with you If I come home and something has happened or something is not right or something needs to be said, why should I be honest with you?
Speaker 2:Well, I think sometimes honesty can explain. Let me explain to you why I behaved the way I behaved the other day. What you didn't know was what I didn't want to say was this, or why I said what I said was is because we've talked before about needing to keep the air clear and communicating well with your spouse. Maybe know was what I didn't want to say was this, or why I said what I said was is because we've talked before about needing to keep the air clear and communicating well with your spouse. Maybe you can say, like the reason I've been a little frosty the last three, three days, just being honest, is because of this or that. But instead of just letting a situation continue the way it is and, in essence, being dishonest by not being truthful about something when clarity could make all the difference in the world, sometimes to certain things, yeah, it brings clarity.
Speaker 2:I mean, a friend of mine was telling me that her daughter cannot stand her boss, and I think they finally had, and she's young, and I think they finally had and she's young, and I think they finally had a situation where she said these are the reasons why I feel like we're rubbing each other the wrong way. Sometimes, when it comes to me and it's being young and having that conversation is hard, but it's brought, it's helped the situation, yeah yeah, and I think it does.
Speaker 1:I think, if, if I can.
Speaker 1:It's hard to be honest, though, because you know, I think the last thing I want to do is hurt you, and whether it is me telling you the truth about something you're doing or the truth about something I'm doing, I don't want to hurt you, and I think sometimes people get in that trap of not wanting to hurt somebody legitimately Right.
Speaker 1:But again, if you're honest, it brings clarity to the situation and sometimes it really diffuses something that could really escalate pretty quick if people don't understand, and it's not making an excuse. Well, this is why I was a butthole. This is the information you weren't privy to, and whereas if, three days ago, if you'd have given that information to me, I might have, could have just pulled back a little bit and not been up in your grill the whole time, and then, all of a sudden, it'd blow up into something else. So I think being honest brings clarity. It also goes back to, maybe in the same situation, that you have all the information. You have all the right information, so that we can actually have conversation about it and not just me holding back private information, because, listen, any untruth is just lying and dishonesty, and so I think too it it allows me to release burdens yeah I was.
Speaker 2:I was thinking about that like I thought about this. There was times in our life that you weren't maybe like I remember when we had flip houses a house in oxford, a house in tupelo something else was going on and I think you were carrying five mortgage notes at one time and you weren't really I think you were carrying that burden alone of how stressful it was to meet at that point in time. It was just. It happens that, especially being like people that do investment stuff and all that, that sometimes you can have a point to where you're carrying a lot all at one time with the, with not as much coming in as needs to come in to cover those certain things or whatever. And you were. You know you carried that alone for a while that it was hard for you, but you you didn't want to put that on me, you didn't want me worrying too, and sometimes that's been an issue.
Speaker 2:I know that happens in marriage a lot.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to bother you too. So you carry the burden alone instead of just being honest, whether it's finances I think finances is probably a big one sometimes Whoever does the finances doesn't want to maybe tell the other person how bad it is, or they don't want to. I, the other person, like how bad it is, or they don't want to. I've, I've, I think we've. We've talked with somebody before that just doesn't want to tell their spouse no, and so they don't tell them how bad it is and how lean it is, and they don't realize their spouse is stressed out and they're trying to pull money from credit cards and from savings to cover because they don't want to tell their spouse no, and so they just carry that stress by themselves and that's not healthy either it's not, and and it you're right for me, even during that time, I remember that I was really, it was really stressful time in our life and, uh, you know, that was the time too, for the first time in 30 years, that we'd ever been apart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and uh, you know, because the way our businesses and our mortgages and our houses and those types of things were structured it caused you to have to to go to Oxford for the week and we were, we were gone from each other. It was so it was a bad, bad time, and but you were stressed out in Oxford by yourself, with employees in a new business, and I didn't want to add any extra stress.
Speaker 2:So, yes, and that's probably the key thing there too sometimes we think we try to save the other person because we think they've got a lot on their plate and we may try to save whoever it is. We may do that, you know, even with friendships or other things, anything we just don't want to add to it. Yeah, so we think we're doing them a favor.
Speaker 1:We think we're doing them a favor, but so we think we're doing them a favor. We think we're doing them a favor, but the truth is that we're not giving them all the information. And I've told you before we talked about this not too long ago is that I realized at some point you're an adult, you're going to have to process this information as well, and I think, especially in marriage. You know, your name was on those notes too, but you needed to know those type the stress that we were under. But it releases burden. It does, just being honest, releases the burden and you don't have to carry it by yourself.
Speaker 2:Well and two, you know, give the other person some credit sometimes that maybe they can handle.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:More than you think they can handle and can handle the burden.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's hard, it's very hard. You know, I think too, just being honest, if you're honest, it attracts honesty. Yeah, liars usually run together a good old group of liars. They're a bunch of liars together. You know what I'm saying. But honest people, I'll say this If you have an honest person in your life, if you've got an honest spouse, if you've got an honest friend, if you've got an honest pastor, if you've got an honest uncle, an honest grandfather, grandmother, if you've got somebody who's honest in your life, you better latch on to them, because honesty is rare in the world that we live in today. Yeah, I was thinking about that.
Speaker 2:You know I'm missing that in my life right now. I had a friend for years. That was the kind of friend that would say you're negative talking whether it's funny and you're just kidding, you're negative talking about your husband too much. Or like, what you put on facebook is not a good representation of you. Yes, what? Why would you put that on the facebook today? For I'm, I have some people that might say something if it was. If something they saw me doing or saying or behaving in a way that's not aligning up with my personality is bad enough.
Speaker 2:And I'm not talking about you, but I'm talking about like a girlfriend yeah like I'm, I I've, and I you don't know how bad you really do miss that until you don't have somebody in your life that that does that for you. But I'm, I like a mirror, I like somebody to. I'm weird like that, like I really and we should be talking about my perfectionism lately, but because I do want to strive to you know certain things, like I like mirrors around me to tell me you didn't really need to say that, you shouldn't have said that. Or, you know, put that on Facebook. Don't put that on Facebook, that's passive, aggressive or whatever. And so it really.
Speaker 1:If you've got somebody in your life that does that, you really need to be grateful for sure, absolutely, and I love your description of it is that honesty is mirrors, right, man, because most people don't look in the mirror because they don't want to see. But if you can have a mirror in front of you to give back some honest feedback, give back some honest feedback and listen. Let me be honest with you there's no more honest mirror than when you're standing in a dressing room at target and tj maxx is for women.
Speaker 2:Yes, there's something, they get special lights that make you look as bad as you can possibly, as large as you can possibly look as if, even if had an ab, no abs to be found. I mean seriously Everything. It's crazy.
Speaker 1:I'll try a shirt on or something. And I'm thinking, man, you're like a troll, bro. You look like you just come up from under the bridge. It is bad, because you look at the rack and you think I'm going to look good in this. I'm telling you this is a dope shirt, I'm just going to look good. And you get in there and you're thinking is this what my wife really sees.
Speaker 2:So we were really better off during COVID when they didn't let us use dressing rooms, because you could go home to your natural setting and then just take it back.
Speaker 1:So, yes, honesty attracts honesty and I think you need to be grateful for honest people in your life and quit ducking them. You don't want somebody who pumps you up all the time. I'm just being honest with you. I'm not saying that people need to tear you down. That's not what I'm talking about. You got people who just tear you down all the time. Move away from that crap. Yeah, just move away. But if you got somebody who would just be honest with you and said, hey, if you got a friend that will text love on, that's a friend you need to respect.
Speaker 2:I also hope my kids listen to this one, because I try to be very honest with them and they don't always want me to be At.
Speaker 1:Dixie at Amaris, at Kay, at Brianna.
Speaker 2:I know that, like they pulled me, the sisters pulled me into their argument yesterday and they know by now they may. I don't know if I wish I could be, but I'm not. I'm not the mom that'll just say I know, baby, that was not right, they shouldn't have done that to you. I'm the mom that'll go. No, you brought that on yourself. You shouldn't have said or you shouldn't have done. And so they tried to pull me in yesterday and I said no, do you want me people? Yeah, and I think it's a really good thing.
Speaker 1:I think the other thing is that honesty gives you trust, right? Because if you can be honest with me even though I don't want to hear it, that means I can trust you. If you're going to tell me oh yeah, that's great, I think that's a great idea. I think you should start go training monkeys training monkeys, you know, I think that's a really good idea. Go take our last $40,000 and buy a couple monkeys, and I think that that would be perfect. I think you'd be a great monkey trainer.
Speaker 1:I can't trust you. I can't trust you, but if you can say hey, listen, have you really thought about that? Like number one, you don't really like animals. They kind of stink to you and you don't really care for them. And I don't really want you taking our last $40,000 of mine to monkeys and I just don't really think that that's kind of your personality. I can trust you because that means that you'll tell me the truth about if you and that's the. I think that's it If you'll tell me the truth about small things, then I can trust you to tell me the truth about big things as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and this one. This one is pretty deep, but we've talked about this and we've talked about this in our marriage talks. You need to be truthful with your spouse to gain trust, even when it's something that you know they're not going to react well. When it maybe comes to the opposite sex it's. We developed a habit of being absolutely transparent with each other. When somebody makes us feel weird or uncomfortable, we feel like somebody from the opposite sex was getting a little too flirty, a a little too in our space for too long. If they message us or whatever, we do not hide those things. But you know that you can trust me. We also have 100% like. We don't lie about social media. Our phones are laying around with each other's password all the time. You can pick mine up at any time. All those kinds of things We't, we don't, we don't get caught. You know, erasing that, forgot to erase something and all those, all those things. But we've been. We're very transparent, even when we, with situations like that yep, and it's not easy.
Speaker 2:Now and listen, I'm never gonna find out that somebody at the gym went, come over to where you're at and stayed way too long throughout the whole time you were walking on the air runner. I'm going to find out from you first before.
Speaker 1:I find out from anybody else, that's it. You're not going to find out from Citizen A over here. I just want you to know that Sister Soso, she was up in his grill, right, I'm going to come home and tell you, hey, she was up in my grill and, like you know so, but it's not easy, right? Because I mean honestly, like when you tell me that and let's just say it when you, you know you're a beautiful woman, but when you say that somebody made you feel uncomfortable, I don't think. Well, thank you for telling me that. I just I want you to know that. That just makes me trust you and feel, and it does, but it makes me.
Speaker 1:I have an anger problem that I've had to work on. It makes me want to go down to wherever this person is and give them a sandwich, a knuckle sandwich, and that's not the right thing, probably, but it's so. I have to work on that because then, if I always overreact, it causes you not to want to tell me, not because you want to be dishonest, but because you know that I may overreact to the honesty.
Speaker 2:That's the main reason sometimes women will withhold that information is because sometimes guys do give a whole.
Speaker 2:It can go both ways, yeah women, yeah, because I, I know somebody, we, yeah, we have somebody closely connected to us that she is a huge overreactor to every, everything, like when it comes to the opposite sex with her, with her husband. It can go both ways, but that's I think that's what happens. Sometimes a spouse will withhold something or lie oh no, I didn't even see them, I didn't know were they even there. Well, those things because they're afraid of the overreaction and even what it may cost them, like, are you going to be mad at me because somebody at the gas station said hey, have you got a man? You know, I loved the thing I saw the other day at the gas station and I'm kind of aging out of being hit on at the gas station, I think. But I saw the thing the other day. Like, when he asked you at the gas station hey, you got a man, you just look around and go.
Speaker 1:I am a man. Yeah, you don't have to worry about it anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that cuts that off there.
Speaker 1:But that's it. If a person is honest with you, whether it's your spouse, your friend, family, whatever it is, you have to learn how to react and not overreact to the information and not become a murderous rage that you want to go down and just cut somebody's stuff off and fight, and if they put a hand on you, that's a different story.
Speaker 1:But we're just talking about uncomfortableness and the power of honesty, when it comes to even marriage or friendship. And you know, I think too, can you tell too much truth? Yes, okay, you can be too honest. Yeah, now, because you know those old people too honest. Yeah, now, because you know those old people. You've heard it said I'm just telling the truth. I'm just telling the truth that you hear those people. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just telling the truth, yeah.
Speaker 2:Cause that goes back to what I said I used to could be one of those people. I'm just telling, I'm just telling the truth.
Speaker 1:You know I'm just saying what everybody's thinking and there's nothing wrong sometimes with saying what everybody's thinking, because there are people who are afraid to say something and it's fine to speak up. You know what I'm saying. But you know, if you're just a butt and you just got to tell the truth about everything all the time, like you can tell too much truth, you can be too much true, you can have too much. And I think you know the Bible says it talks about you know being careful and having some wisdom and you have to have wisdom when you talk to people. You know you got to be careful what you say, and I'm not talking about you lie or you're not, you're dishonest, but you just got to be careful in how you say things the Bible talks about.
Speaker 1:You know saying things in love and you have to speak your mind and tell everything that's on your plate to a person. You know you're pretty ugly. I just want you to know that. You know. I know the TJ Max smears make you think you're ugly, but in person you're really ugly and you know the water on your nose really doesn't do justice and you've got a lot of gray hair and you've really got like hair on your chest as a woman, or you know your knuckles Sometimes that stuff's not necessary.
Speaker 2:It's just not necessary and I think you have to ask yourself weigh out the results when you're, when you're talking, you got to weigh out the results or maybe what could happen by by telling this person this information in this way yeah, and because, well, and I think if you are a person that tends to tell the truth, you do have to have some restraint and discipline and think through all the things of what the consequences can be if you're too honest, like what's your motivation for?
Speaker 1:saying what you're going to say, what's your motivation? You know, is it mean, is it hurtful? You know, does this really need to be said?
Speaker 2:Yeah, somebody, and I'm almost positive they're not listening. And if they are, know, does this really need to be said? Yeah, somebody, and I I'm almost positive they're not listening. If they are, then maybe they need to hear it. But you know, somebody a few weeks ago said to me that I'm I'm getting, that they're so glad that I'm keeping the weight off because I'm getting pretty again. Wow, and I know that I am one in two million women who have heard comments like that or you've got a pretty face, or yeah, just a little thick down in the bottom there you know, grandparents can be the worst to tell you, like those kind of things, like you, you, my, my, uh, papa judd, he used to.
Speaker 2:That's what he would say. So you're fleshing up a little bit Fleshing up Things like that. But what is the motivation of saying what we're saying? Because you could just simply say you look great. I know you put in a lot of hard work and lost that weight. You look great. Pretty then pretty now yeah.
Speaker 1:You don't even have to use the word pretty, you can just say say you look great, and let's just say that went around our family group text for a while. It was, uh, our kids went to fight, so uh. But you know, I think that's it to. To finish up here, and I'm gonna let you have the last word, you have to have wisdom whenever you're talking. But there's no substitute for honesty, none. Integrity and honesty, those Integrity and honesty, those things go hand in hand, and I want to be able to, as a husband, I want to be able to trust you, I want to be able to trust Mike. I won't be able to trust my buddy Keith, and the only way that happens is when you're honest and you can just but that's it. I have to be receptive to your honesty and have to be able to hear you.
Speaker 2:So, final word, Final word is I think we have to love people in our life enough to be honest with them, and then I think we need to make sure we're letting them know that what we're saying is because we love them that much and we don't want them to fall into danger or something bad to happen. You know, we've had some situations we've heard of recently of people that have had to tell some, some people, some married folks hey, you need to know this about what's going on. It's not easy, it's not hard. You've had to give some feedback to somebody recently because you knew they really needed to know it and we're still kind of fun no, and we're still kind of in the throes of that, still being a little uncomfortable and icky.
Speaker 2:but in all those situations I think people that's it. They've loved people enough to speak the truth to them and if that's your motivation, then you need to have the courage and the boldness if you've thought it out to say what you've got to say because you loved them. I don't want to be the person for sure that said I could have told them that and spared them from hurt or danger or something else in their life if I would have spoken the truth, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1:The power of honesty. It's a real thing and we just want to encourage you to love each other and be honest with each other. Hey, thank you so much for listening thing and we just want to encourage you to love each other and be honest with each other. Hey, thank you so much for listening today and we do appreciate your time and if you find people going the way you want to go, hop in the flow and go with them and find the hustle together. Thank you for listening. No-transcript.
