QUALITY vs QUANTITY

Have you ever lived by the philosophy "more is better"?  Yeah, me too...

More is not better. Better is better.

Somewhere along the way, we got sold on the idea that more time, more stuff, more reps, more options equals a better life. But if you’ve lived more than five minutes, you already know that’s not true.

Join Dave for some QUALITY discussion on:

• Real-World Examples That Hit Home
• 10 Times Quality Beats Quantity
• Why We Chase Quantity Anyway
• How Quantity Quietly Kills Quality
• How to Increase Quality in Every Interaction
• The Rewards of Choosing Quality
• 5 Ways to Start Today

You don’t need more time.  You need better time.

You don’t need more moments. You need more moments that matter.

Because at the end of it all, nobody says:
 “I wish I had more average days.”

They say:
 “I wish I had more moments like that.”

So don’t stretch your life thin trying to have more of everything.

Condense it. Sharpen it. Elevate it.

Make it count.

Giddyup!!!

Email David@Otalks.com or OWD@Otalks.com for comments, questions, or ideas for content on an upcoming O'talkin' with Dave podcast.  Otalks.com

Check out OtalksOfficial on Instagram and TikTok

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to O'Talkin' with Dave. Coming to you from his palatial fortress in Sin City, where what happens in Vegas is talked about everywhere. Put your hands together for the pastor of positivity whose glass is always at least half full. Here's Dave. Hey, how you doing out there?

SPEAKER_01 0:21

I hope you're fantastic. I am top shelf, ready to go. Hope you are too. The thing about my time with you, my desire is to give you quality rather than just quantity. Now I know some of you think, well, you're putting out a lot of stuff, Dave. There's a lot of quantity there. And some of it's not uh the the upper crust of quality. Well, pardon. Sorry about that. However, I think that is a good motto. Good um, I don't know, a good endeavor to go for quality. Because let's just say it out loud. More is not better. Better is better. Better is better. We're taught a good deal. Buying quantity. My goodness, how many people have a Costco card or a Sam's card where you get a pallet of socks? I've got, I think I've got maple syrup in my will because I got a 55-gallon drum one time because it was cheap. More is not better. Better is better. Somewhere along the way, we got sold on that idea that you know, more time, more stuff, more reps, ma uh, more options equals a better life. And we can talk to some of that, but if if you've lived more than five minutes, you know that that's not true. You don't remember the long average nights. No, they just kind of all meld together. You remember the short electric ones when that happened. That moment you met somebody, that moment everything just clicked. Ah, that moment you had white chocolate bread pudding at the Palace Cafe in New Orleans. Oh, so good. I'm gonna have some of that here in a couple of months. But anyway, that's what you remember. You don't remember all of these just average, multiple, accumulated things. And there's so many more average things than special things. It's just the way it is. 14 mediocre meals. But you remember that one where you had to close your eyes after that first bite and do everything you can to keep from birching right there at the table. Oh, I love it. Golden Steer. I went there recently with my daughter and her husband and Kyle and Aaron, and it was fantastic. Uh, you know what stands out to me? The cream corn. They got the best steak in Vegas, but I remember that different kind of side that I got. So good. So good. I mean, you probably don't remember the two-hour conversation that just went nowhere. I hang out with my friends a lot of times, and I love the time with my friends, but I can remember we would just hang out for hours and do nothing. We laughed a lot, but it was just a stream of thought, life as it was going on, but not maybe nothing in particular. And you tell somebody, what'd y'all do? Oh, we just hung out. Which is fun, don't get me wrong, but that that 10-minute talk with someone that just hits you right in the chest, or they said that one sentence. I mean, we're in a world of sound bites now, and we get so many of them. Uh that's quantity over quality. But what about that one that sticks with you? I remember the first time I heard that definition of love. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and then trusting that they want. Wow. Wow. And I had someone comment on uh an earlier O talk where I said things, you know, just around you're the beneficiary. You're not the victim. You know, things, some things don't happen to you, they happen for you. That soundbite's all they heard in that hour-long podcast. That's quality, not quantity. So the truth is, a short stretch of something great will beat a long stretch of something forgettable every single time. And that's what I want to talk about. It's going for the quality over quantity. And there's ways to fill your day with it. Fill your life with it. It's fantastic. So a life filled with high quality moments will always feel richer than mediocre ones. And by mediocre, I mean just routine. Yeah, we do it this way. We've always done it this way. Yeah. Yeah, that's what we do on these days. And that can be fantastic, but when you get caught in a mediocre extended situation to where you just find yourself going through the motions, quality goes out the window. Good things are still going to happen, and those are the things you're going to remember. Those are the things you're going to remember. We go to we go to karaoke a lot, and we'll stay there three or four hours sometimes, but we'll remember two or three people that sing. Because that's the quality. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of quantity to get to the quality. But I believe there are ways to concentrate it a little bit more. So it's it's not about how long something lasts, it's about how much it lands. You know what I mean? Just, oh, that was good. Oh, I had I had a friend that used to, we'd have a big meal, and and every once in a while he'd go, ooh, that was a good bite. A bite with a plate full of food. It's fantastic. But there's a lot of real-world examples, I think, to drive this home. You know, as far as time goes. You know, 30 minutes fully present with your kid beats three hours either scrolling on your phone or riding in the car, listening to music where they're around. You're around them, but not focused with them. There's nothing like it. Or, you know, you get a we used to do this a lot, and I still do it now with different people, but just a quick two-day getaway. Sometimes a weekend is better than a full week. Because you have so much time, you feel like you'll put things off because you got time. But a weekend, very intentional, you get away and it's gonna be chuck full of quality. Yeah, you're you're in a weekend you're gonna argue less. You're gonna be, if you do it right, you'll be less rushed because you'll have to plan it a little better. Put your phone down, don't check your email. That is quality time. And you know everything I talk about. I have to have a food example. I've already given you a couple. But one, just think about that one incredible steak that's cooked right, that's enjoyed slowly, compared to an all-you-can-eat golden corral feast. Don't get me wrong. I like my I like my buffets. However, that one small portion steak that is perfect. I think of a sushi bar you go to, and they're take your time, enjoy it. Quality. Oh, that and then I have to think about desserts. I don't know. My sweet tooth has come back with a vengeance. But just think about a very small portion of a dessert versus that it is fantastic, versus a bunch of snacks. We I'm in conferences a lot, and they've got tables of food back there. Oh, and it's tough to resist a lot of time, but the quality is up and down, but most of the time it's not that exquisite quality. And you think of really nice restaurants, the portion size is small. You know why? Because they focus on quality, not quantity. So let's talk about another example, something I know a lot about, and that's exercise. Sorry about that. But think about it. And I know I know what to do, I just don't do it as much as I should, or you know, I guess at all. But anyway, stop judging me. Think about 25 minutes of focused intentional training on something. Maybe it's 25 minutes of cardio or catalysts or fast walking, whatever you do. If it's focused and you're dead, I've got friends that are swimmers, and that focused time, it doesn't have to be long. Figure 90 minutes of just wandering around or half-assing it. That's one word, by the way. 90 minutes of doing that, it's not going to get you as much as is a third of the time where you're focused on it. It's it's true. Quality, not quantity. Then travel. Think about it. One really meaningful experience in a city rather than trying to cram eleven attractions into an exhausting blur. People make that mistake all the time in Vegas. They come in and try to do too much. When we come in, we we relax. Let's focus. Most of the time, they'd rather hang out at my house and go to the strip, or we go downtown for a little while, or we go out and eat and just notice something rather than cramming a ton of stuff in. Yeah. But that a consistent, well-executed plan, and I don't mean plan yourself into a bad time, but if you focus on the quality rather than just a random marathon that just leaves you inconsistent and sore and thinking about what you didn't get to, that makes a lot. That makes a lot of sense to me. Yeah. And then anytime you talk about one-on-one, just a real honest conversation, it's so much better than just hours of noise. I have spent probably in the last six months more time individual talking in. I'm speaking a ton to groups, but I'm spending more individual time and taking time for that one-on-one uninterrupted. The quality is over the top. So let's, you know, I've got to talk about laughing. I laugh talking about laughing, but that just think about it, just that gut wrenching, snot bubble inducing pee in your pants, ten minutes of laughter. Isn't that better than a whole evening of small talk or just reminiscing life? Make your face hurt and your guts wrench, laughter. That's quality. That's quality. And it's not just me talking. The numbers back it up. Numbers back it up. A lot of studies they show that happiness, it shows peak moments and endings rather than experiences. Those peak moments and endings, they shape your memory. And the duration of those things last. Think about it. You can think about specific incidences that happened with a friend, with a ball team. I can remember specific plays, the time on the clock, exactly what happened. It's all in slow motion. Because those are peak moments. It's fantastic. Psychologists call it the peak end rule, meaning you remember the peak and then you remember how it ends. It's fantastic, and it's about quality. Productivity is my game, and research and productivity shows that focused work in short bursts, it's called deep work. But focused work in short bursts outperforms long, distracted hours by five times. You're five times more productive if you do it in bursts, which goes back to my multitasking rule. Bite me. You focus, you get it done, it won't take as long. Then you move on. Then you move on. I don't I can't stand in front of the mirror and brush my teeth. I know that's a random thought, but I just thought of it. And so I walk around the house or I'll do something. The other day I walked to the mailbox and got the mail. And then, of course, some smart alex said, Oh, that's multitasking. No, it's not. I was brushing my teeth. It didn't take me a second to get the mail and it went under the arm. And I didn't brush while I was getting the mail, so don't yell at me. But research backs that up. Focus, short burst, take a break. Take a break, an intentional break, a focused break. Plan to be completely spontaneous. You're going to be five times more productive. And then in relationships, you know, one of the gifts, the love languages is quality time to be fully there, present. That is a stronger predictor of satisfaction than total time together. Meaning you can stay home all weekend, but if there's no quality time, eh. You can be home all week, but if there's no quality time, it's not there. But give 30 minutes of full and present back and forth discussion, listen. Quality over quantity. So all of this research, all of this, I can sum it up. Your brain doesn't reward volume, it rewards impact. Impact. How does it impact you? I've got I just made a list of others, and you gotta do my top ten list. Well, here's here's ten examples of when quality beats quantity. Think of one great friend versus ten surface friends or ten acquaintances, that one you can count on. Quality over quantity. One focused hour of work rather than a full day of distractions. One meaningful compliment. Uh I don't take compliments well, and you know, I I find myself getting more, especially if it's like I just had a birthday and everybody was saying all these nice things, and I appreciate them. But there's a couple, I remember, I remember when I moved from my house in San Diego, I had a going away party, and uh her name's Diane. I call her Dharma because her husband's crack. But she sent me uh, she had a she brought over a picture, and it was me smiling, and it said to the guy that's always happy, that comp that compliment hit home. That is quality. It meant something to me rather than a bunch of we'll just call it empty praise, where I'm I'm not saying people aren't sincere. However, certain ones hit. Or you go on vacation in that one particular moment. I can think back to when uh we went with uh Billy and Tina, and there's a couple of situations where we laughed uncontrollably. One of them was when we went to a cooking class and Bill couldn't get his chef's coat closed. It was hot in there. I got a picture of it. It is hilarious. Out of a week at an all-inclusive, I can think of that and one other moment there that rose above all the other. So many good ones. But the quality moments is what I remember. I remember when I used to play tennis. You remember that one workout that you you took yourself to the limit. Those of you who swim, staring at lane five or not, you you know when you've had a good workout because it's almost took everything out of you. I love that. Or if you run, or if you surf, or if you curl. Well, in the spirit of the Olympics. But you remember that versus you know a longer workout that it wasn't as focused, it wasn't as intense. How about the conversations? I remember uh many deep conversations. And I remember my son would have a conversation with somebody and said, Yeah, we got real deep, meaning something needed to be said, or he got through it, or uh maybe had something on his mind he had to get across. I know that in that that happens in homework or play, but that deep conversation is so much better than hours of small talk. I've talked about the food. One well prepared meal versus constantly snacking. At sales conferences, we're constantly snacking, but that one well-prepared meal, do you trade all those snacks for that? How about one clear decision when it's so clear to you versus overthinking something when it's an aha moment. You remember those? It's quality over quantity, and just a couple more here. What about a date night? An intentional date night. The old school. Let's go out and eat and go see a movie. Let's go see some let's go do something for a couple. Have a date night rather than just being around each other all the time. Just a routine coexistence quality. And then I I don't know. I I've all you know how I feel about laughter. That bonds. It's a bond that cannot be underestimated, and it can't happen enough. But when I'm around some people, we talk back to an instance, we can talk back to a word, we can talk back to goodness, some people even make journals of this stuff so they won't forget it. No, those are wonderful. And then you go back, and what did we mean by this? And then you relive it because oh yeah, I remember. Yeah. Oh, reminds me of my f my fireman friend Laura. But anyway, that's funny things, that's peak moments. Uh so why do we chase quantity? More's better, nah, it's not. Better's better. But why do we chase quantity? You know, when you're trying to get a good deal, okay. However, that doesn't apply to life in general. But I think one reason is it feels more productive. It looks more like progress. More. Yeah, I got more. I got more done.

unknown 19:59

Whew!

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Yeah. I did half of it half, half as well, but hey, I got more done. And yeah, I don't know. You feel, I guess it feeds of that productivity lie. It's not progress, it's just more. Also, it's easy to measure. It is. You can how much I got done today, how much I accomplished, how far I went, how much how far I drove, how many phone calls I made. You can measure that in time or repetitions or sometimes dollars. It's easy to count. Quality is not easy to count. If your heart is full, how much is that? So I think it's easy to measure. That's one reason that we chase quantity. Also, FOMO, man. FOMO. I don't get FOMO a lot. I do get it from time to time, but you can't do everything. I fear I fear of missing out on bacon or cheesecake or you know, that kind of stuff. But we try to do everything instead of trying to do something well, many times. Many times. I'm preaching to the choir here too. But fear of missing out. Yeah. Also, avoidance of discomfort. Think about that. Depth requires being present, quality requires being being involved and invested. And that that requires effort. So sometimes we just avoid that to just try to get the masses. You know, at a party where you go around and I don't know if if you're if if you're hosting the party, it's one thing, you need to go around and see everybody. But how many times have you you left an event and there's so many people you didn't talk to because you were enthralled in a situation with a person or two that was quality? I remember my buddy Steve in Chattanooga, he would just stand in the corner and let everybody do whatever they wanted to, and we would Tell jokes and different people would come and go. I was hanging out with Steve, one of the funniest guys I've ever met in my life. That was quality. That was quality. And then I think there's um there's a cultural pressure, for lack of a better word. Busy is praised. I'm covered up. I got all I can do. Man, how are you? How's it going? Oh, I'm busy, man. You busy? Oh, I'm busy. Yeah, what are you busy doing? Yeah. Sometimes intentional is misunderstood in regards to just the quantity of many things at one time. You're not checking it off the list. It's your to-do list yesterday is almost the same today. We don't want that. So we got to focus on the quality. But I think those are some good reasons. It feels productive, it's easy to measure. FOMO. And then, you know, just cultural pressures of being busy. Ah, get a lot done. What all did you do on vacation? Nothing. Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Okay, that's great. That's quality, man. Other people, oh man, you missed out. What's going on? You mean you didn't go here? You didn't you didn't go there? Yeah, I can go to Punta Connor without going over to Haiti. Yes. Yes. So let's talk about how quantity quietly kills quality. You may not even notice it, but it does. You spread yourself too thin, and then you you really don't take the time to care deeply about things. I'm just so busy. I got too much to do. So you really can't dig in on any one particular thing because you're so busy. So quantity is hurting your quality there. Or you rush experiences. Let's hurry up. Let's go. Instead of slowing down and relaxing, because you're focused on quantity. That's why most retired people, not only because they're retired, they enjoy life so much because now they can stop and smell the roses. They can grow the roses. They can bring roses to you because they slow down. They don't rush the experience. Also, one reason quantity hurts quality is you dilute meaning by overexposure. If you go to the same place over and over and over, and you go there so much, it's routine, it quits being special. I know people who have had a hobby and they love it and they get to it every now and then. Then they quit work so they can do that full time and make it a business or something like that. It's no fun anymore. They dilute the meaning and the quality because of overexposure. And it happens before you know it. And two, just the sheer burnout factor. More and more, more, more, and more. Oh, it's just overwhelming. Even they say you can't have too much of a good thing. Eh, well, you can. Yeah. I've heard people say, you know, accuse me of having too much fun. Eh, I'll say there's no way. Eh? It depends on what you're doing. Yeah. But you burn yourself out chasing more, more. Also, you lose that ability to recognize what's really good. I've got friends now, and a couple, I'm thinking of, of one in particular, uh, that was really the inspiration for this O talk. They talked about I don't need to be around you all the time. But when we get together, it's quality. Give me a few days here or here. The quality is what I need, not the quantity. And that that spoke to me because that will allow you to appreciate and recognize what's good versus just doing so much. It is just more. And it loses its cachet. So, how do we increase quality in every interaction? You ready? Yeah, Dave, you've been going on and on saying the same stuff that we already knew. Come on, give us some red meat here. Okay, all right. I'll do it. Because I want you to have more quality in your life. So, how do we increase quality in every interaction? Right now, today. Be all there. Put the phone down. Look people in the eye. Give them nonverbal communication. Yep. I hear you. Put a hand on them. Let them know you're listening. You're here. Now look at your phone. I've turned I've turned my phone off a lot now. I'm doing better. So be there in every interaction. Because if you're not gonna be there, why do it? It's just quantity at that point. Also, slow it down. Rushed moments very rarely become meaningful because you're rushed. It's gotta do this, gotta do that. Okay, let's do this real quick. You don't slow down to understand that it's meaningful. You just rush right through it. Also, let's be picky. How about that? Raise your standards. Now I tell people when they come to my speeches, you know, if you want this to be good, first thing you need to do is lower your standards. I'm kidding, but still, you need to raise your standards. Not everything deserves your time. It's okay to say no. It's okay to deselect because that will give you more time. And it will give you more time to invest yourself and see the quality. And really, that's the same thing as like do fewer things better. Edit your day almost like a highlight reel. It's not a documentary where you go through everything. No, it's a highlight reel. What did you do today? At the end of the day, if you don't have a highlight reel, all right, let's think about tomorrow then. Quality is highlights, peaks, and endings. And then the last thing, finish strong. End of conversation, end a meal, end the day with what is good, what went well, what will you want to do again? Man, that was good. That was a great conversation. I appreciated this time. Man, what a meal that was. Didn't even expect it. I got something different. Whoa, it was great. And at the end of the day, I used to hate to give up the day. I remember coming back to California from Tennessee, nothing against Tennessee, but it's every day when I moved back to Tennessee, I was I missed California so much. And it was like every night I'd go to bed and it's like, ah, I'm not in California. Or every day I wake up and uh I mean we lived half half a mile from the beach. It was just wonderful in the weather, and I'm not talking political, don't read anything into this. Understand my state of mind. So when I moved back, every day I got up, here's California. Oh, here's the beach. It's my wonderful little town, my wonderful neighborhood. And I didn't want to give the day up. I wanted to because I missed it for five years. Now I'm back. So part of that is it it's the it's the appreciation and looking for the quality. So be all there, slow things down, raise your standards, do fewer things better, and finish strong. Because there the rewards are just uncountable, uncalculable, uncalculatable. Six syllables, giddy up. But what you get when you do these things, you get deeper relationships because you're present. Your moment, your quality moment, likely will be shared. They'll remember it as well, and that's a deeper relationship. Last year I had I had people come to me that I have known for years, many years. However, we spent one-on-one time, and those relationships became so deeper because we were sharing our hearts, and it was a shared moment. I'll never forget. I've got some mental images I will take with me for the rest of my life. So deeper relationships, also stronger memories. Stronger memories of the times, of the things, of the words that were said. Um I know that's different than a deeper relationship, but you have stronger memories because you've invested time, you've slowed down, you've deselected other things so you can let it in. It's beautiful. And with that, you'll have a lot higher personal satisfaction because it's quality. I did this, I was a part of this, I contributed to that. Or if nothing else, it was given to me and I took time to accept it. Higher personal satisfaction. And of course, you're doing fewer things and they're more precious to you. They're more important, homework or play. You're gonna have more energy. So there's gonna be less burnout. Just because you took the time to count on quality and not quantity, and you're gonna have a life that actually feels full. It's gonna feel full instead of just looking full. I struggle. I I have to, I'm so busy lately, I've neglected things and I've missed out because I focused, I didn't focus on quality as much as I had honoring commitments in my, I filled my schedule. But there is a lot of quality still there. But when you slow down, invest your time like it's precious, which it is, your return is going to be unbelievable. So I talked a minute about five ways to make every interaction filled with quality. What are five ways to start doing it today? Today. Right now, tonight, whatever time of day you're listening, just pick one interaction and give it 100% ahead of time. It can, or it may be spontaneous. Somebody may drop in on you. I about some deer for my son and and and Liz and a couple of people dropped in on me the other day on my birthday. I didn't expect it. And oh my goodness. And I was I was scattered, but I took time to one-on-one just look at them and thank them and tell them I loved them. It's fantastic. So pick one interaction, you're gonna give it 100% of your attention. Turn that phone off. And also, here's another one cut one unnecessary commitment. That will create a pocket of time. Pick one interaction, give it 100%, and then cut something out that's unnecessary. Cut it out. Don't do it. All right, the third one, upgrade one experience. What I mean instead of just stacking three mediocre ones, all right, let's do one and upgrade it to the importance of the other three. And nail it. And then pat yourself on the back when you do it and think, okay, what's next? You're gonna have more energy. You're gonna be less busy with busy work. Here's one I challenge everybody to do. Eat one meal slowly. Slowly. How long do you what long does it usually take to eat a meal? Are you a five-minute, ten-minute, thirty-minute, two-hour? What is it? All right, pick one meal and be enjoy it. Eat slowly. Taste it. It's gonna settle better, I'll tell you that. You're gonna enjoy that more. Take your time. Don't look at your phone while you're eating. Enjoy the meal. Treat that like a person. And then I love this. End your day when you're laying in bed, looking at the ceiling right before you doze off. End your day by asking, what actually mattered today? What mattered? And if if you don't come up with several things, you're doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong. Come on, what mattered? What is that highlight reel? I love it at the end. It's March Madness now. So at the end when they show the you know, one shining moment or whatever, and they do the highlights of the whole game, and you look back at, oh, I remember that. Oh yeah, that I was watching that game. I saw that. That high it's wonderful. I love it. It's like two minutes long, three minutes long. What's your highlight reel from today? Oh, that bacon at breakfast. Oh, that was good. Oh, the guy passing me on the way to work, cut me off, and then I get up there and police have him pulled over. Oh, was that great or what? You probably don't need to be that negative. But anyway, what was your highlight reel? Or what did you say? Who did you speak to? What did somebody say that touched you? What did you say that helped somebody else? What actually mattered today? So the whole analogy. Would you rather have? Would you rather have that I did ten of them earlier? A glass of the best whiskey you ever tasted for your whiskey drinkers? Or a gallon of something that you would tolerate. A lot of the wine snobs, ooh, they're swirling and they're doing all their weird sounds and sloshing it in their mouth and talking about the notes and all that. Yeah. Would you rather have a glass of fine wine or a gallon of two buck chuck? Yeah. Think about your life that way. Quality over quantity. You don't need more time. You need better time. You need a better time. You need to have a better time. You don't need more moments. You need more moments that matter. And you know what I'm talking about. Because at the end of the day, nobody says, ah, I wish I had more average days. No. They say, I wish I had more moments like that. I wish I could talk to my mom one more time. I wish I could I wish my dad could have seen that. He would have thought that was hilarious. Yeah, I'm not going to get negative. I'm just saying you have those times now with people and things and occasions that matter. So don't stretch your life thin by trying to have more of everything. Condense it. Sharpen it. Elevate it. Make it count every day. Start thinking. Whatever what time it is today, finish the day strong, but start thinking about tomorrow. What are you going to focus on? What are you going to rule out because it's not worth your time? And then when you go to bed tomorrow night, what did what happened today that really mattered? Quality over quantity. Every time. Even with bacon. I'd rather have two good slices of thick cut smoked bacon than that thin bacon they serve at Denny's that you could read a paper through. Makes me angry. So, quantity over quality. You got it. You know it's true. So let's do something about it. Okay? Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for hanging on. I appreciate so much the support. My goodness, I'm I'm big over in Asia now. What is going on? If they saw me, I should go over there sometime and do some O talks. They wouldn't be able to understand a word I said, probably. But I think they get some of my uh some of my meaning. And I I hope so. I appreciate you so much. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for hanging on. But most of all, thanks for O talking with Dave. Giddy up.