WORRILESS...

Have you ever found yourself WORRYING about something that turned out to be nothing?  Yeah, me too...

Worry is the interest payment on a debt that usually never comes due.

Worry is the imagination hijacking the present and dragging it into a future that may never happen. It is rehearsing tragedy before the curtain even opens. It is borrowing pain from tomorrow and demanding payment today.

Join Dave for what might be the most important O'talk topic of all:

• Worry Has Crippled Great People Throughout History
• Worry Is About Thoughts, Not Reality
• The Top 10 Things People Worry About
• How Worry Becomes Real
• Humanity Has Been Trying To Escape Worry Forever
• Stress vs Worry
• 5 Ways To Embrace Gratitude, Positivity, and Today
• 5 Action Items To Reduce Worry Today

You were not designed to carry tomorrow before it arrives.

Life is heavy enough in real time without dragging imaginary disasters behind you like a broken trailer.

There is a difference between preparation and imprisonment.

Preparation says:  “I’ll be ready.”

Worry says:  “I’ll suffer now just in case.”

One builds strength. The other steals life.

Most of the things we worried about never happened.

But the time we lost worrying? That part was real...

Giddyup!!!

Email David@Otalks.com or OWD@Otalks.com for comments, questions, or ideas for content on an upcoming O'talkin' with Dave podcast.  Otalks.com

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to O'Talkin' with Dave. Coming to you from his fortress in Sin City. Put your hands together for the pastor of positivity whose glass is always at least half full. Here's Dave. Hey, how are we doing out there? I hope you're doing great. I am top shelf and ready to go. Couple of things. We have uh we're going through some changes. We've still got tons of material, but I'm speaking more publicly, so it's cut into my time. So you may see a few weeks where I come out with one on Monday and not do one on Thursday. So sorry about when that happens. We'll address it and get through it. I am stuck on 97 countries. 97. Gotta get to 100. I don't know. Maybe if you know anybody in Antarctica or someplace in the far reaches of South America, three more. We're gonna have a party when we get to 100. We got almost 700 cities, which is very exciting. Thank you so much. Very excited. I ain't worried about it. And that's what we're gonna talk about today. Worry. Worry. I want you to worry less or be worryless. It is stress, worry, and distraction. Hey, stress and distraction can actually be a good thing if you can get through it and still be productive. But worry, I dare say, never is. Worry is interest payment on a debt that usually never comes due. Oh, the worry. It bothers me. It bothers me when people are crippled by worry. It's just your imagination hijacking today and dragging it into the future that probably not gonna happen. You're rehearsing it. You're rehearsing tragedy that's not gonna happen for the most part. You're borrowing pain from tomorrow and demanding payment today. How many different ways can I say it? I don't know. The word worry, it comes from an old English word called Rygan. And you know what that word means? To strangle. That's what worry does. That is powerful. Worry strangles you. Worry doesn't, it doesn't hit you like a baseball bat. It just slowly constricts. You know how I had got in trouble with HR one time when I was talking to an underperforming sales rep. But I you know how you know how a boa constrictor or an anaconda or a python kills its prey? Anybody? It doesn't squeeze them to death. It does not. That's not how it happens. It encircles, wraps itself around it, and just every time that prey takes a breath, it tightens until the point to where no more breath can come in. That is what worry does. Slowly, methodically, it strangles you. And what it strangles, sorry for the graphic talk so early, but I want you to get past it. But what it strangles away from you is your peace. Maybe your clarity. Clarity and chaos will not exist together. It takes away your clarity, which can take away your confidence. You'll be less grateful, you'll definitely be less productive. Your relationships are going to suffer, and it's hard to have joy in that situation. But the worst part is most people worry about things that never happen. There's been study after study on this, and three things usually occur that we worry about. Number one, it never happens at all. Number two, it may happen but differently than we expected. Or the third is it's very manageable. Once it arrives, these things we're worried about. And that number has stayed at 85% about things that people worry about that never happen. 85% of the time. Yet we're let it we make it, we manufacture it to strangle us. You lose losing sleep. Sleep is important because without that, your health suffers. I know where I know how worry has infected marriages. It definitely makes you miss opportunities. And quite frankly, it shortens your life. All because your because your mind is an incredible storyteller. It is. Oh, the imagination. You gotta keep your mind busy because it's built to go to the negative. The mind will write horror stories faster than gratitude can be noticed or written down. So it's not just it's not a new thing. I don't propose to solve this, but there's some great worriers in history. It doesn't mean you can't be successful. Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Howard Hughes. There's countless people who have been, you can call it melancholy or anxiety or depression, but at least isolation or obsession with something. And so many athletes, they have beaten themselves before they got to the event. Why? Success does not remove worry. That's an important statement. You can't win or spend your way out of worry. And part of this is with success: the more you win, the more you fear losing. The more you have, the more you fear of losing it. What about embarrassment or failure or rejection, all these things? Getting older. Some people are worried about getting older, and that's making them die earlier. Hello. Check, please. Some people just want to be relevant. Yeah. But worry convinces people to protect themselves so aggressively that they stop living. That's a tragedy. That's the worst part. And it's just thoughts. It's just thoughts. It's that thought of what if? Oh, what if? What if I fail? What if they leave? What if I lose my money? What if they don't like me? What if I embarrass myself? Oh, hello. I don't worry about that. Or what if something happens? Ooh, what can happen? I know so many people they can't enjoy what they have for fear or worry of losing it. Meanwhile, reality is just sitting there saying, none of this has happened yet. And if it did, I got through it. But worry's just sitting there waiting in the rocking chair. It's just sitting. And see, worry's a lot like running on a treadmill. You're busy, but you ain't going nowhere. Or even worse, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because if we're worried about something, we may hesitate or second guess ourselves when we've got it. I know you may have people in your life that it will cause them to overreact. Or be defensive. Or it creates tension in a relationship or within their own mind. Or make them not take an opportunity. It absolutely destroys momentum. So eventually the very thing that you fear or worry about shows up and impacts your behavior. It's not reality, it's behavior. And the things people worry about. And let's take this to homework and play because I don't know where you are in your life. Maybe it's all three. But things, think about things you worry about at home. Okay, money, health. If you've got children, oh my goodness. Absolutely. Relationships with family or friends, that's home. Maybe your parents are getting older. Oh, you think about what could possibly happen all the time. And sometimes it happens. But you worry about a lot of things that don't. Maybe you're worried about a divorce or being abandoned or betrayed. Maybe you're worried about safety. Watch the news. That'll scare you to death. You worry about things for sure. Maybe you're worried about being alone or the future. Or am I enough? Am I enough? A lot of things at home. At work, though, job security. I think people worry about that. I know people who were so worried about getting fired, their production got to the point they got fired. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Failure can be a motivator, but if you're worried about failure, we'll talk about how to get past the worry. Do something about it. People are worried about being embarrassed or having their performance made known at work. Or maybe they're worried about they're older and now the young buck's coming in, or there's another talented person at work. Oh, I got competition now. Or financial pressure, the PL. Yeah, worry. Worry really solves a lot with the numbers. Or you're worried about somebody seeing how good I'm doing. Or are they, did they notice when I missed a step? Or change is one of the biggest things people worry about. I think a lot of times downsizing, AI. You worried about AI? What's that gonna do for you? And then it's not just home and work. Play is so important. Me time, all of that. And so we in that we worry about, okay, I like doing this. What are people gonna think about it? I'm not a fan of pickleball. I say that because I don't care what you think about me not liking pickleball. Some people worry about that. Some people will play pickleball because they're worried that somebody's gonna think they're not good enough or they're not trendy. FOMO. FOMO happens in the play world constantly. Absolutely. Some people will plan a trip. It's a wonderful distraction. Then they start worrying about it. They ruin their trip. There's so many things with play. With conflict, the time it takes, all of these things. The worst thing you want, though, is to regret the things you miss in play while you're worrying. Yeah. Worry is basically playing mental movies for you. It's not reality. But it does become real in certain situations. I had uh I had a book. It's the third book. Let's see if I've got it right here. It's over there, yeah. Weeds. It all talks about you gotta get the weeds out early because if you don't, they'll destroy the plant. You get the weeds out, then you water the plant. Because if you water the weeds and the plant, weeds are gonna grow. Alright, I just summed a whole book up in 30 seconds. Whatever you water grows. I'm in the desert. I still like the old sprinkler. I like to get a hose and a cup of coffee and just yeah. Whatever I water grows. Whatever I don't goes away. So when we talk about weeds and worry, you feed worry, you water worry when you give it attention, when you give it repetition. I've been worried about this for so long. Okay, stop. Worry is not getting it done. You're watering it. And then your imagination, oh, it waters worry. And then you're more isolated. You overanalyze something, it makes you negative. You know these kind of people? Oh, they're just so negative walking through the battlefield when they already won the war. And eventually your mind accepts what is watered and repeated and ruminated on as truth. That is the scary part of worry. Yeah. And a worried person walks right past their blessings in life, their friendships, their opportunities, things to be grateful for, victories, laughter. That is so important. It's hard to do when you're all tied up in knots. And also, you either lose a love or you totally miss it all together. And still, you focus on that one possible bad outcome. That's how worry destroys people, destroys their positivity. Not because the positivity disappeared, it's because they watered the worry. And it blinds you. So humanity has been trying to escape worry forever. Ever since that snake came along in the Garden of Eden, there's something to be afraid of or to worry about. You can try. You can try to make enough money to where you're not worried. Great, successful people have tried it. Others turn to substances. Maybe it's alcohol or drugs. Something to ease the pain of worry. I'm in Vegas. A lot of gamblers out here thinking, oh, that's the answer. It's tied to money, it's tied to victory, it's tied to all of those things. Maybe if I just control, I'm a control freak. Grab that and just own every step of it. I won't have to worry. Some people turn to religion. Religion's not a bad thing. However, if you're sitting there in your worry rocker, that's no faith. You don't have faith. No one's coming to save you. Gotta meet them halfway. You got to step toward them. Then isolation. We talk about that. You think, okay, I just get away from all of that. I won't worry about it anymore. No, it's still there. It's still there. I know people have been, some of the most worried people I have known are the most successful in any given company. I know people who, Presidents Club, whatever you want to call it, every year, and they still worry about that next sale or that next year. And then that leads to workaholics or perfectionism. That doesn't get rid of worry. You can't take enough pharmaceuticals to cleanse your body. You can't have enough stuff, enough trophies, enough cars. Still gonna worry. Why? Why are we this way? Because worry is not on the outside. It's not in the world. It's right here. It's in our heads. You move to another city, you're taking it with you because it's in here. You make more money, all right. You're gonna imagine more worries. You can retire and you've got enough money, but now you're worried about your health. The battlefield changes. The worry's still there because your mind stays the same unless you train it otherwise. So I've spent what, 30 minutes, 25 minutes talking about something I think you already knew. I just tried to hit it from a different angle. So let's talk about ways to address this worry. Now, the title of this is Worryless or Worry Less. I'll tell you this, I defeated it. I don't worry. Sometimes I'm concerned, but I don't worry. Let's talk about stress versus worry. Because many times we worry or say we're worried when we're really just stressed. They're cousins. They're cousins, but they're not twins. Okay? So worry, let's think about it. Worry imagines things, it freezes situations, it can spiral out of control, it predicts disaster, huh? It catastrophizing. And it creates a helpless feeling. That's worry. Stress signals pressure. Well, here we go. Here's my goals for this year. New numbers are coming out. So it signals pressure, but it also demands a response. If I'm gonna do this, I've got to do this. It demands a response. It creates a sense of urgency, it creates action. If you have stress and you're crippled, you'll start worrying. And then that prohibits action. Stress says, do something. Do something. I'm uncomfortable. I'll do something to take care of that. Where worry says, much like my ex-wife, it's never too soon to panic. Panic about everything. Huh. 85% of the time it never happens. So action reduces worry. Number one thing. Movement destroys a mental paralysis. That's why people feel better after you clean up the garage. After you call that person you haven't talked to in so long, you've been meaning to, and you finally did, and oh, it was great. You pay the bills. First of the month, you pay all the bills, and it's ah, I'm good for another month. Feels good. Nobody likes to pay a bill, but when you do, it's a sense of relief. How many times have you been on a fitness program, or maybe you want to lose weight, and you start on a Monday, because you always start on a Monday. You get up, you look at yourself, and today is the day. You eat a healthy breakfast, you go for a walk, by 10 o'clock, you feel better. You feel great. You're on a fitness journey. You haven't, you've made it two or three hours. You haven't lost anything, you haven't gained anything other than a better attitude. Because you took action. How many times have you had needed to have a hard conversation with somebody and you've dreaded it? Uh, homework or play. You've dreaded it. Then you had it, and not only was it not that hard, it might have brought you closer together. You said something that needed to be said, and it's a cleansing for yourself. Action. Action. And action, what it does too, it interrupts this negative fantasy cycle. It takes it, it interrupts they may not take it away, but it interrupts it. Oh, I can't do that. I can't have clarity during chaos, so if I have a little bit of clarity or some action, oh, it interrupted chaos. The keys to this, to defeating worry and knowing what to do when it raises its ugly head like a whack a mole. You've got to, you've got to learn to embrace gratitude, find some positivity, and do it today. Today. So you may be a warrior. Don't tell me you're a warrior because your mama's a warrior and you inherited it. No. No. Stop it. Quit. You can do this. You can embrace gratitude and positivity right now. Today. Whatever time of day you're listening to this. Let's talk about how to do it. Number one, you've got to shrink the timeline. Don't get up thinking about the next 10 years. I'm 61. I can't think about, okay, what do I have to accomplish? When do I sign up for Social Security? At what age do I need to do this? No. Let me handle today. And if today's too much, let me handle this morning. The future is built on a bunch of today's. So shrink that timeline. I know people in their 30s that are worried about retirement. Okay, yeah, you should plan for retirement. But plan. Plan for it. Have a plan, and you shouldn't have to worry about it. You should just look at how big that number's going to be. Oh, but what about this? What about war? What about the economy? Oh, what about calming down? Let's get through today and prepare. Because things are working. And so that's the second thing. Look at what's working. Most people will take inventory of their problems and look right past the blessings. Reverse that. What's going well? That's why my gratitude posts, which I am way overdue on those. Three things right now. Right now. It's 108 degrees outside. My thermostat is set on 73, and I am so comfortable. I'm so grateful for HVAC. I'm so grateful that I've got solar panels on my roof. So now I can run that HVAC as much as I want, and my bill is going to be 20 bucks a month. That's two things to be grateful for. I'm also grateful that if I'm hungry, I got food right in there. I'm thinking when I get through with this, I already know what I'm going to make. I'm going to make a quesadilla, and it's going to be delicious. I'm grateful for those things. Move right past the oppressive heat and all the junk food in there. All the negative things I could focus on. And what's working. What's working? Count that first. That'll give you some gratitude. Okay? This sounds corny, but my third one is you've it's very helpful if you remove the question, what if, from your vocabulary, mindset, psyche. Don't ask what if. Because most of the time, it's what if I fail? What if bad things happen? What if I win? Don't do what if, what now? What now leads to action? It's what I'm gonna do next. What's next? What now? That creates movement. What if creates fear? So get rid of that. Get rid of that. And stop watering or feeding negativity. I am doing, I'm very proud of myself. Cutting down on the news, on the scrolling, on the gossip, toxic people, constant comparisons. That is fertilizer for worry. I am off Facebook. They put me in jail again for something I reposted in 2022, and you are killing me with all your emails. Sorry. I'm not gonna play. Part of it is petty on my part, but I don't like to be treated that way. However, the byproduct is the time savings. I don't look at my phone. I wear a watch now. I don't look at my phone to see what time it is because that leads me to other time sucks. And I'm doing things with that time because it was feeding negativity. I would see something, something somebody said, something I disagree with, blah, blah, blah. All these things. I stop feeding that negativity. I don't listen to the news because you can't believe most of it. It's not news, it's journalism of some sort. Gossip, drama. Once I see it, I don't play with it. Yeah. And you can think whatever you want. And there are people who are upset with me right now. I'm not gonna play. I'm not gonna play in that silly little sandbox. Saw the cat in there earlier. There's no telling what's in there. So stop feeding negativity. And then lastly, fifthly, be present. That's another thing about not using my phone as much. The mind cannot fully be grateful and panic at the same time. Notice your breath. Notice how you're breathing. A lot of people are breathing urgently. What do you need to notice? In your presence. A good cup of coffee. Enjoy it. I was around some young children recently. Not on a plane, because usually they're crazy. But there was I was a friend, I was over at their house, it's really a friend of my daughter, but they're my friends too. And a sweet little girl comes up and sits in my lap and puts one thumb in her mouth and just reached up and rubbed on my ear and fell asleep. They said that's what she does. If I was busy doing something else or on my phone, I wouldn't have had that moment. What kind of music do you like? Stop and listen to it. Maybe listen to the words. I'm not a word guy usually, but listen to that same song you've heard a hundred times. Now just focus on what are they saying. Maybe even look at the lyrics like we used to. Wow, that song will hit you differently, maybe even better. I love sunrises and sunsets. Be present. Take time. All of these things. Let me hit you with these way to do it today. Shrink the time. Shrink the timeline. Count what's working. Replace what if with what now. Stop feeding the negativity and please practice being present. It's fantastic. Some other things. Write down the actual problem. This is part of the getting to a good place process. Write down. Write it down. Worry's very vague. It's very general. Health, oh, all these things can happen. Let's be very specific. Write it down. When you write it down or get specific, your fear weakens and your worry slips. Do something today. A phone call. Apply for a job. Take a walk. Pray. Oh, my I pray so differently now than I did. Sometimes I go over the line a little bit. I don't pray in a thunderstorm. Take join a gym. Start yoga. I don't know. Do something. Take one action because movement matters. And then some people have catastrophic thinking, catastrophizing, which is that's pretty good. Five syllables. But not every setback is the end. It's not the life sentence. But it's what if this happens? Oh, what if this happens next? No. Sometimes it's just a Tuesday. Yeah, one setback. That'll make you stronger. Have a circle to where you've got somebody you can talk to, somebody that can ground you, somebody that loves you. Because worry grows in isolation. Your mind. Get another mind here. Talk through it. Because that perspective from that other person will kill your exaggeration if they're a true friend. Yep. Exactly. Oh, your mind's going to exaggerate. The thing is, you have to protect your mind. And this is taking care of your health. Get enough sleep. Drink enough water. Get some exercise. Spend time quiet. Spend time laughing. Who's the funniest person you know? Who always makes you smile or laugh? Call them. Maybe it's your faith. Maybe you have a purpose in life bigger than what. Think about that. Don't think about what if. Because a neglected mind becomes fertile ground for worry, and worry waters the weeds. Okay. Have I made my point? I'm worried about how much you people worry. You're not designed to carry tomorrow before it arrives. Got to deal with that tomorrow. Now, we prepare, we plan, we focus. We may look at worst case scenario, but do it in the way, here's how I'll address it. When this negative thing happens, here's how I'm gonna. That's planning. When this happens, it's a trigger, and here's what I'll do, here's what I'll say, here's what I'll be. Life is heavy enough in real time without dragging imaginary disasters from the past or the future. Imaginary disasters. Worry is to torment yourself with disturbing thoughts. And there is a difference between preparation and imprisonment. Worry is imprisonment. Preparation says, I'll be ready. I can handle this. Me and my team can handle this. Worry says, eh, I think I'll suffer now just in case. Isn't that silly? One builds strength, the other steals your life from you. I checked, the sun still came up today. My heart is beating. You're listening, so those two things happen to you. Except for Randy and Corbin is probably raining there, so he can send me an email. It's okay. You need the rain too. But there are still opportunities and people and blessings surrounding everyone. You gotta notice them. Because in the end, most people worry about things that never happen. But the time you lose while you're worrying, that's real. And you can't get that back. Worryless. Worry less. Worry less until you become worryless. And then do these things, and I think you'll be less crippled, less strangled by worry. All right. Thanks so much. I appreciate your support. It's overwhelming. I appreciate it so much. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for hanging on. Hit me up, David OTalks.com, David at OTalks.com, or just go to Otalks.com. There's a bunch of stuff on there. But I appreciate your support. But most of all, I appreciate you O Talking with Dave. Giddy up.