Escaping the Hamster Wheel: A Guide to Graceful Living: Ep 55

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Hosted by Eddie Isin with special guest Arlene Cohen Miller, a renowned life coach and transformational mentor.

[00:00] - Introduction: Eddie introduces Arlene Cohen Miller and sets the stage for today's topic on escaping the relentless pace of the 'hamster wheel' and embracing a more serene and balanced life.

[00:55] - Arlene's Journey: Arlene shares her transformative personal story from practicing law to becoming a life coach. She discusses the pressures of balancing career and personal life and what led her to seek a more fulfilling path.

[02:21] - Recognizing the Hamster Wheel: Discussion on how societal and personal pressures create a 'hamster wheel' effect, making us feel stuck and constantly running.

[03:38] - Techniques for Stress Management: Arlene explains practical techniques for managing stress, including breathwork and grounding exercises. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing when you are caught in a stressful cycle and taking active steps to break free.

[05:12] - The Power of Breathwork: Delving deeper into the technique of breathwork, Arlene teaches listeners how to effectively use breathing to reduce stress levels and improve overall mental health.

[08:15] - Internal Dialogues and Self-awareness: Exploring how internal dialogues influence our feelings and behaviors. Arlene provides insights into changing negative self-talk into supportive, constructive internal conversations.

[10:14] - Living in the Present: Arlene discusses the importance of focusing on the present moment to escape the anxieties tied to past experiences and future uncertainties.

[14:57] - Setting and Achieving Goals Gracefully: How to set realistic goals and progress towards them without getting overwhelmed by the outcomes. Arlene discusses how to appreciate small successes along the journey.

[19:01] - Love Over Fear: Choosing energies of love over fear in everyday situations to enhance personal well-being and foster healthier relationships.

[21:06] - Creating Energetic Boundaries: Arlene talks about the importance of creating and maintaining energetic boundaries to protect one's mental and emotional health.

[26:50] - Work-Life Balance Coaching: Arlene highlights her coaching methods that focus on achieving balance between personal life and professional responsibilities, especially targeted at women.

[34:41] - Closing Thoughts and Call to Action: Arlene encourages listeners to take what they've learned and apply it to step off their own hamster wheels. She offers a free discovery call available through her website for personalized guidance.

[38:12] - Conclusion: Eddie wraps up the episode, thanks Arlene for her transformative insights, and reminds listeners where they can find more resources and connect with Arlene for coaching.

Resources: Arlene Cohen Millers’ website link at https://jewelconsultancy.com/discovery-session. 

Subscribe to Transform Your Future Newsletter Where Eddie writes about personal development, reinvent & identity: http://transformyourfuture.com

Transcript

0:00

Okay, Arlene, welcome to Transform Your Future Podcast. How are you today? I'm great. Really happy to be here, Eddie. Me too. I'm so glad you're here. I was looking forward to this. I want to kind of dive in. You've got a lot to offer and your experience and working with other people. I'm rather fascinated by in many different ways, but this topic about getting off the hamster wheel and basically gracefully moving forward in life, this is something that really is speaking to me right now because I feel like this morning I was stuck in the hamster wheel and I'm just running around, running around, and I don't really like that feeling, right. And I want to change that. I want to change that, not the life that's worth living for me. So let's jump right in. I give you the floor. You maybe tell me a little bit about the history, your background, and how you ended up here, and then let's talk about the topic. Sure. So when I was 15, I decided to become an attorney, and I did that. I practiced for a long time. My first office, I went out solo after three years in this little office in the suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. Immediately found out I was pregnant, so I was like a working mother wife for quite a while. Then I've been divorced and remarried. So I've been a working mom my whole life. My son has now grown and just, it's challenging. It's very challenging in this world, and I'm not saying that other people, men don't have challenges as well, but that was mine. And so while I was an attorney, I sold my practice when my son was nine in Cleveland. I moved to a suburb of Denver, became a partner in a small boutique law firm. And while I was doing all that, I got a diploma in coaching and mentoring, and I got a diploma in transformational holistic counseling. I just felt at the time I wasn't going to go out and be a coach, that if I could be a better communicator, I could negotiate better, I could be a better mom, a better boss, and all those kind of things to be able to interact with people and learn how to really listen to people, because I noticed that I was always thinking about they were talking to me and you're not listening then and they can feel it. So a few years ago, we just sold the practice and I just decided I had enough. Being an attorney, it was great, but I was ready for a change and I just jumped into being a mentor. Excellent, excellent. So what can you say to help me and to help my audience? Because I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels like all this societal pressure and client pressure and everybody wants something and I just sometimes feel like I'm just caught in this maze and I don't feel like I'm moving gracefully. I don't feel that maybe I'm really living my purpose when I get into this stress and. Yeah, I hear you. I think we all have times when we're like a chicken with our head cut off running around. I know that if I'm running into things and bruising my body, it's like, Arlene, you need to breathe and slow down. Nothing is going to go any quicker. Nothing is going to get done any sooner if I'm running around like that. If I feel like that, and I know you want to talk about the hamster wheel, but in those moments my go-to is always breath work because if we're running around like that, if we feel really agitated and stressed and people and ourselves, were pulling ourselves in different directions, we need to take a moment and stop. Because usually that's when we're doing that shallow breath work and we're even holding our breath. We're not even aware of it. So if we stop and ground and breathe, we're going to feel very different. So the way we can ground is I can pretend like I'm a tree and I have these roots of light coming out of my feet into the heart of the planet, and I sort of visualize and feel myself connecting heart to heart with the planet. She's the planet's embodied by being called Gaia. She's our mother. She helped us to have these bodies here, and so we can get unconditional love from her and we can send her gratitude, and that's going to be very calming. And also when we breathe, if we just stop and breathe slowly in through the nose, out through the nose, the outbreath is longer than the end breath. It's physiologically tells our body, we're not being chased by a bear. No one's going to get us right now. We can rest and relax and slow down, and you might have to do it for 10 minutes or so. But hey, you don't have to go in a quiet corner. You have to breathe anywhere. No one's going to be able to tell that you're breathing in and out of your nose with your out breath longer than your in breath. So the first step to get ourselves off that hamster wheel is to calm ourselves down and get grounded and be fully present in our bodies. So when we are focusing, when we're worried about the future or we're depressed or upset or remorseful about the past, and that is our focus, we are not fully present here. Now, if we can find a way to come back to the present, that's where the peace is, the distraction, the anxiety, the frustration, the depression, all that stuff is where when we're focusing on the future or the past. So I guess that's where I would stop start. I'll take a breath and see what you want to share or say. Yes. And I did that this morning. I stopped. I centered myself. I focused on my breathing, I connected with all living things in the universe, my personal spiritual practice. And I immediately started feeling that what I really needed to do was not engage, that it was time for me to disengage and just let everything be the way it is the way it's supposed to be, and I don't need to do anything. And then I get these ideas, well, but I need to take care of this. I need to take care of that, and I'm back into this, but maybe I need to do more. But no, I need time for me. I have to take care of me. If I don't take care of me, I'm no good to anybody else. And I had this argument in my head about it. Let's talk a little bit about how we beat ourselves up and try to do more than what any human being would expect of another human being. Look, I'm going to step back just for a second because when you first started talking about I'm going to ground and center and breathe, I could just feel your whole self relaxing. And then you're talking about with that inner critic in our ear, started talking and just you got all wound up again. You could feel it in your face. And so the inner critic is just patterns and programs that we've taken on from childhood. It could be from our parents, it could be from our peer groups, it could be from our teachers where we had that negative voice in our heads and we did it for safety and security for whatever reason when we were younger. And so I view this little voice as the kids and the teenagers inside of me, and I'm like the mama bear. You're the papa bear and we're the adult and we're the ones that have the love and that tough love to say, no, we're not doing that. I know that I told you that I wanted you to do that to distract me and to rev me up or whatever it was to get myself safe. But we're not doing that anymore. You need to be in the backseat of the car. We're not doing that. I love you. I'm sorry that I abandoned and neglected you. And sometimes I even visualize myself hugging them because lots of times they feel neglected and abandoned. Now some of them are a little spoiled brass in there and can be really selfish and manipulative. There was a one leg, that one, I was in my twenties. I would go down. I worked in this place and they had this underground place to eat and they had all this healthy food. And my little inner critic was like, I want a chocolate candy bar. I want a big chocolate candy bar, but make myself sick. And I finally stopped doing that. So I'll take a breath here. And I just wanted to sort of point that out to you and to the audience because I was doing that to myself. And our love is the best solved and love for these kids inside of ourselves that we didn't like their behavior, the tip on stuff and patterns and programs that we don't want to be like anymore, but still they have a voice. And so I feel like love is the way usually. Maybe it's tough love, but love is the way to deal with this. Most of this product. Yes, yes, love myself, know that I was created perfect in this world, that I actually don't need anything, that everything that I need I already have and possess. And those noises, I'm sorry, not the noises, the committee in your head, you talked about the teenagers having a party. You would think after many, many years of working on myself and going through these things, that those noises would be gone, but they're not gone. They're still there. And I can fall into that trap pretty easily to start having a conversation with the insanity in my mind and be insane, which I chose to do today. I decided to just take care of myself and not worry about it and went and hung out with a friend instead of worried about everything, just let it all go. Everything's the way it's supposed to be. What's going to happen? And I don't need to do anything to free myself. I would just say that evolution is kind of like a spiral moving up. So as we're evolving and growing, it takes time and it's not a perfect, so we might evolve and grow and let go of some stuff, but we came in this lifetime maybe to let a whole bunch of stuff go or learn stuff that we hadn't did other lives. And so things are going to come up again and again and again, it's not that we haven't done stuff. It's not that we haven't let things go. It's not that we haven't evolved and grown, but it's kind of like it's ever evolving spiral. And you could be in a higher realm of that spiral, but there's still things that are there that you couldn't deal with before that you have the ability to deal with now. And so it's really important to be patient and kind with ourself with that stuff and beat ourselves up or wonder why it's not gone. It just could be another aspect that was deeper and we hadn't gotten to it yet. Yeah, something else for me to look at. Yeah. The message is clear that I need to let go again. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like we're not making progress. It's like I dealt with that and back in 1965 or whatever, but it's not like that. It's an ever evolving process and not a good idea to beat ourselves up for that kind of stuff. It's better to enhance our progress and be grateful for it and celebrate it. And even what you were talking about today, you didn't buy into it even though they were going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're like, no. And you talked about that wonderful day that you decided to do instead, which was nurturing and supportive for your soul and for whoever you interacted with. Yes. And I look forward to meeting Arlene and. Here I'm. Doing the podcast. Yes. Yeah. This is the highlight of my day. Wow. Thank you. That's really cool. So gracefully moving forward, explain how we. Do it gracefully. The healing always comes from the inside out. The world is kind of a very kind of crazy place. The energy's all over the place. You can't even have a peaceful sanctuary in your home or within yourself, and you go outside and you go, holy cow. So the gray season flow, it's not like you ever sort of gets here. It's always we have to be flexible and adaptable and we're always moving into that space, but it is a choice. So if we look at our life and there's people and negativity that's pouring into us, sometimes we have to adjust who are letting into our inner circle, and we can always create a safe space for ourselves, our homes. For me, I do a lot of what I call energetic protection and clearing. And what really helps me in addition to the grounding of course, going out in nature is so healing. The energy of nature is just beautiful. But we can also put this big golden bubble of protection around ourselves and visualize and feel it as our personal sanctuary, our sacred space, and we can flood it with a light and love a source, and we can just share and affirm that only energies that are unconditional love and above can come in. That's my boundary. If it's not that it can't come in. And so that we create a sacred space for us to have that goes with us wherever that we go. Of course, if we have judgments and we have a big reaction is mitigate protection, we just have to put it back up again. But that's one thing that we can do to be in more grace, ease, and flow. And another thing that we can do is just to choose to be patient and kind with ourselves. Those are such powerful sacred qualities because when we're kind to ourselves, we're treating ourselves, we would our own best friend. We're not treating ourselves the way that little inner critic goes, Jeff, blah, blah, blah, blah. And our ear, it's like, if I was my own best friend, how would I be with myself? If I was saying what was going on in my life, but it was my best friend talking to me, what would I say? How would I champion them? How would I love and support them? And then we just give it to ourselves. And patience is so much about love, and we're just taught that everything has to be now, now, now, now, now. And that's just not the way it really is. If you really want to have that experience of, it takes practice, a lot of practice to get there. It's like you want to be an Olympic athlete, and grace even flow. Well, we've got to practice it, not expect perfection and be okay with making mistakes and view them as opportunities to learn and grow. So I could go on and on, but I'm going to pause, but I like to have more of a conversation with you and whatever's coming up for you to ask or share in our time together. I'm thinking about, I know working with other people, they'll say things like, but I have goals and I'm working towards these goals and I don't want to just let go of my goals. I want to keep pushing towards that. And so where's the line between where you have to love yourself unconditionally, even though you have goals and maybe your goal was to be at some number or by some day have something, but I'm not responsible for the outcomes. I'm only responsible for the effort I put into it, and I have to leave those results up to the universe and not get so caught up in the result, the result, the result. Oh my God, I'm not getting the result. Where's the result? God, why don't I have the result today? Right. That's a great question. But there's nothing wrong with goals we have to have. How can we know where we're headed towards if we don't know what our goals are, what our aspirations are, the way we can bring more grace, ease, and flow is to break it down. In other words, we acknowledge every small step along the way to that goal. Maybe it was a telephone call we needed to make today or someone we wanted to connect with or a little bit of research we wanted to do. We don't wait until the goal is there. It's about enjoying the journey. And the way we can enjoy the journey and keep ourselves headed in the direction of that goal is to acknowledge and celebrate all those little small successes along the way. And another way is also to set priorities for ourselves. Like a little list of priorities, lady, three things or one thing. This is the one thing I'm going to get done today. I'm going to do a happy dance. Everything else is icing on the cake so that we can enjoy the journey of our goals, and that's our alignment, and hopefully we're filling it with love, and that also helps as well. And one of the, I want to share there is that we set our goals. Spirit is going to get behind us, but we have to take the steps. And the way I visualize it is I've gotten this far. I'm going to top a big cliff. It looks like I'm look down, I'm going to fall into the this. But when I take one small step forward, it's like spirit puts a stone beneath my foot and spirit is supporting me. And I can vary that how I'm moving those steps along the way based upon how it feels each time I take a step forward. So I'm not attached to it looking a certain way. And that way we're more in slow with the process and not wondering why it's not all happening now, which puts us into impatience and. Urgency. Can you break that down a little bit more? That was a lot that you just said actually. I. Know. Let's. Unpack that a little bit because that. Was Sure. Great. How would you like to unpack that, or what would you like me to do? Well, first, let's talk about how spirit gets behind you. Let's talk about that, how that works. Well, the universe is always there. The universe is benevolent. And when we tune into the universe, she's bene and she loves us. And we also have maybe deans on the inner that work with us as well. And we have friends on the ater as well. So spirit can't do it for us. We're the ones that have to take the steps on the ground to make it happen. That's why if you just pray, maybe nothing is going to happen. You actually have to take action on the ground. I mean my. I remember that saying when I was younger, God can move mountains, but you got to bring a shovel. Yeah, great. I like that. That's awesome. Yeah, so it's just partnering with them. It's a co-creation. It's not that they're alone. We're alone. We're actually one and we're together. And so we don't have to be afraid of making a mistake. It's just an opportunity to learn and grow. And if we're flexible and adaptable and we take one step and we have these goals that are about maybe service and love, somewhere in there, spirit's going to get behind us. They're going to hold us in that step. And then we feel into where the next step is going to be, and if we're not really attached and how it has to look on the ground, but we're committed to taking steps forward from our heart, that's where we begin to move forward. And before we know it, we've achieved something that we're really wanting to achieve. Oh, that's great. No, that was really good. No, I think that was really good. So earlier you were also talking about energy. And I would like to unpack the energy idea because this is something I know that I'm very interested in about how to, through understanding the different energies and releasing what needs to be released and tapping into the actual energy that's there, that's my flow, that's my essence. And tapping into that. Yeah. Well, I guess there's only really two energies on this planet. There's love and fear. And so the one that I am committed to being a part of is unconditional love and higher unconditional love is not a whole lot on this planet, but we can generate it ourselves and therefore, with a law of attraction, attract more of that to ourselves. So unconditional love is I love you freely and I have no expectation of getting anything back in return from you. So my love with you is not conditional. You don't have to do X, Y, and Z for me to love you. I might not like your behavior in all moments, but I will always love you, and I'm not putting any expectations or conditions on that love. So that's sort of the boundaries that I like to set for myself. I'm not a perfect, I'm a practice. I'm a work in progress like everybody, but that's where I would set up my boundaries. But we're never ever alone. And so there's always going to be people on the ground and on the inner that are like-minded souls that are sort of resonate and have And if we come together in those groups of like-minded souls with a common goal, maybe it's to evolve and grow and be a stronger source of love for the planet, then we can work through that together, our common goal, and we can do things together to make that happen. There's all kinds of groups. So that's the beginning part of it. And what I also like to do is I work with something that's called energetic hygiene and protection. And so what I do is I align to love and center in my heart of hearts, and I ground to the planet and I cleanse and cleared my energy field and put up that big golden bubble of protection every day and work with cutting energetic connections from other place and things that are not about love, because people can energetically connect into us and we start to feel really crappy, but it's not even our stuff, and we can only clear our own stuff. I used to do that. I used to do these visualization techniques that were all about the healing, energy and protection of my being. Yeah, I want to do that again. That's good. Because all the negative kind of energies on this planet say, oh, you don't have to do that anymore. And it just causes us to contract and play small, because we really need to do that kind of energy clearing and healing and protection every day, even multiple times a day because that keeps us cleansed and cleared and being able to serve. Otherwise, we're going to just get weighed down by other people's stuff. And there's a lot of stuff out there by all kinds of people in groups. It's not that they're bad, it's just that that's the way the planet is right now. So I would greatly encourage you to do that for yourself. You'll probably feel a lot better pretty quickly. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I got to get back to those roots of mine that was very successful, me to change and move in new directions in the unknown areas where I had no idea what was going to happen, but I knew I was protected and I was going to be okay, and that I had everything that I needed, and I just need to keep living and making room in my life, just keep making room in my life for these other cool things to come in, these better things to happen and come into my life making space for it. And it's important to cut energy because anytime someone thinks of you, you think of them. Anytime you get triggered by anything that's happening in the world or with anyone we love energetic connections are established, and so we need to cut them. And one simple way to cut them is just visualize, its gold and cylinder coming down around our bodies and just cutting any energetic connections that are not about love, knowing that the loved ones will stay in sort of flooding and wherever those places we're just flooding them with love and light and flooding our bodies with love and light, because when we do that, we're letting go of fear. And so there'll be vacant spaces in our bodies, and we want to fill them up with light and love a source, just calling it in so that fear doesn't just go right back into that space again. I love it. I love it. So how does the idea of a balanced life come into play with all of this? Where is the idea of balance in all of. Well, I guess the more that we, I mean, from what I'm hearing from you, it's really important to be grounded and centered and fully present and from your heart and following your heart and making yourself clear space for spirit or for whatever's going to move through you. So when we have that desire, we're aligning to being have a more balanced and harmonized life. And I find that it's a process. It's not like we ever get there because different things are always coming up in our life that could throw us off balance or feel the harmony. So we really have just to commit to stepping forward in ways that bring us that balance and harmony every day of our lives. It can be the breath work, it can be exercise, it can be getting out in nature. It's really different things that make your heart sing. I mean, for me, one thing that I do, if I start feeling really off and I don't have time to sip out in nature, which is around me a lot in Colorado, I might just take a quick three minute shower and I'll call in the universal violet flame, and I just see my whole shower flooded with violet light and this violet light of source transmutes and transforms fear into love. So I'll ask this energy to help transmute and transform fear into love in my bodies and fields. And it sort of cleanses and clears our aura. So we can just let go of whatever has accumulated, maybe put on some fresh clothes, breathe and start a new part of your day. And sometimes I'll do that in the mid-afternoon or later afternoon so that I have clean, fresh energy to do what needs to be done maybe in an evening. So there's all kinds of ways we can bring harmony and balance. I'm sure that you have ways that you're already doing for yourself, or you wouldn't be hosting a podcast like this. You're right. You're right. But I love being reminded about it, and I love talking about it. Yeah, it is great, isn't it? Because we forget and then someone goes, yeah, I know that. Why wasn't I applying it? Yes, yes. You forget things like when you were talking just now talking about the aura that it's surround you and it's protecting you. I forgot that I used to do that, and now you reminded me of that, and I'm like, yes. I need to start incorporating that into my daily life and make that part of my daily routine. Yeah. Yes. I love. It. I love it when people remind me of things that I was doing that I forgot and like, oh my gosh, thank you. Yeah, absolutely. That's why we need others, right? Right. Yeah. We need to be reminded of things we see in each other's eyes ourselves. Yeah, yeah. Because when, like I said, when we come together as like-minded souls, we can do so much more to let go of fear, doubt, disbelief to let go of negativity to step forward and more love than if we're just standing alone, which we're a much more potent force in the universe together. Now, if I remember correctly, you specialize in certain areas, right? Would you like to talk about that? Yes. Well, I am a work-life balance coach for women, and I do transformational mentoring for, I call them beautiful souls. So both men and women. The coaching is, I fell into that because I could fall into it. I chose it because I'm really passionate about it, because I wish that I'd had someone like that to help me. When I was in my early thirties, I started my own business. My then husband was basically a workaholic. He was not around a whole lot. And I was raising a son and starting a business and all the other things that were happening in life. And I would've given anything to have someone that had some wisdom about that, that could have helped me to come to my own knowing inside of me. I think that would've helped me from sort of flailing around like a fish without water for a couple of years or more. And so that's one of my main motivations for doing that. And what we go through, what we learn from, we can bring that to others. And what better way to serve. Exactly. And the more you share it, the more you have it, right. It's an endless cycle. We teach what we most need to learn. I often say to myself, when I'm doing this, are you listening, Arlene? Are you really doing what you have to say? Because I'll be talking to a friend and she's like, she'll remind me of something. You know what? In the class I had this week, I, that's exactly what I was teaching. I wonder why I'm doing that. It must be for me too. That's awesome. So I'm just curious, the transformation of the critic to the coach. What kind of steps could somebody take to start doing that? What kind of specific things can they start incorporating to change the critic to a coach? So the first step is to be aware. So basically we're asking the universe, I want to be aware of how I'm talking to myself. Because when I first started doing this, I was flabbergasted because that voice in my head had been so long. I thought it was me. I didn't realize it's just patterns and programs. So we need to begin to, we choose to be aware of how we're talking to ourselves, and when we notice how we're talking to ourselves, maybe we're calling ourselves stupid or an idiot for a mistake that we've made, and we can just say, that's not like me. That's not who I'm, and I'm going to do better next time. And then we can play that scenario that I was just talking about. If I was my own best friend, what would I be saying to myself now? How would I nurture myself? How would I support myself? How would I champion myself? And maybe how would I kick myself off the bum lovingly if that's what I really needed? And so we can do that, and we can also take a moment either then or maybe before we go to bed at night. So it's something that we can really work with in the sleep state and visualize and feel a same or similar situation that we had. And how could I do that better next time? Would that inner critic starting to get a little bit crazy? What would I be like? What would I be doing? How would I be acting? How would it feel? Really get a good visualization? And that becomes the foundation for the new, and then we just have to really practice it. Where people get hung up is they do it for a few days or something and they get upset because I haven't changed and nothing's different. But if I was saying, well, you've run around the block once, but in six months you have to run a marathon. And you said, well, I ran around the block twice and I can't run a marathon yet. It wouldn't make any sense. And the same thing goes when we're working from the inside out to change ourselves and changing that inner critic to an inner coach. And there's also those bits inside of ourself that need our love that we really have been. We've abandoned them, we've rejected them. We haven't been fully present as a soul. They need our love to heal and let go, and to know that we are in charge and we've given them tasks to do these kids and teenagers. It's not their job as a personality of the ego. It's our job as the soul to come in and hold that space and make it happen. I love it. I love it. I love it, Arlene. It's very refreshing. And it's all about self-care, self-love, unconditional love of self, unconditional surrender, and practicing that every day. What do you think about, because part of this also, I immediately gravitated towards a couple of my friends that I knew would understand what I'm talking about, who had similar beliefs that as soon as I got around them, they asked me the right questions to get me in the right way immediately. So I mean, I think a lot also, for me anyway, it's important to be around the right kind of people because when you're around, if I would've had a conversation with somebody else, the outcome would've been completely different. And maybe I would've got more back into the stress and the worry and the fear about the outcomes instead of being free from all of that and knowing that everything is fine, everything's the way it's supposed to be, and I just need to be in this present moment with you now and not worry about the future. Yeah. Well, you're getting a really, really important thing, Eddie, the five or six most important people in your life that you surrounded with yourself with, you have to be really careful. Do I want to be more like this person? Do they have qualities, values and characteristics, ways of being that I want to be more like? And same for them, because otherwise, if we hang around people that are not like that, they're going to drag us down. And it doesn't mean that we can't interact with them, but that we don't want to let them into our inner circle. And so it's really cool that already doing that, and that's a key to having a mastermind group or whatever you want to call it, a group of supporting people where you get each other, you have this natural affinity and shared reality that all of you together help each other move forward. And I think that's really important for that balance and harmony in our lives as well. And sometimes it's hard for people because we grow out of people. People that used to be we resonated with, we've grown and evolved and we don't really resonate with them anymore. And sometimes there's family members that are just drag and post down that we need to spend as little time with as possible. But that you just mentioned is critical. There's some people I know if I talk to them, they're individuals who are very hard on themselves and very judgmental about themselves and the things that they do. I'm very concerned about what other people think. So if I talk to them, they're basically going to tell me things like that. And I know that that's not what I need. I agree. Sometimes there's just these moments where we can hold space for people. I've a daily yoga practice, and I just had a few special moments at my yoga school where someone just needed to share, and I just held a judgment free loving space and let them talk, but they're not in my inner circle. It just felt in that moment, this is how I can best be of service. So I think that can be helpful, but to let a person like that in our inner circle is not. Yeah. Yeah. So I know that you have a lot of helpful information on your website. Do you want to talk a little bit about that and about, I think you have an offer on your website to get some information and have a little bit of a discovery. So if you log in into my website, dual consultancy, and I'm sure you'll have it in the caption or whatever, you can sign up for my newsletter and you'll get these bunch of free things about coaching and mentoring. And I also do soul readings, and then you can have a free discovery conversation with me. You just have to contact me, send me an email or a text, and that's all in the website. And I'm happy to talk with you about what you maybe learned in that process. So yeah, I'm there for people that are looking for work-life balance, who are looking for transformational healing, who are looking to let go of stuff, patterns and programs that don't work for them. That's my area of expertise. That's what makes my heart sing and to work with people that are interested in that kind of thing. Yeah, I'm glad you mentioned the soul readings. I read about that and I thought, well, that's so interesting. I've never had anybody offer to read my soul. Can you expand about that a little bit? Yeah. For me, so I'm not psychic, but basically what I do, if I do a reading, soul reading for someone, I would connect heart to heart with you. It can be over the internet and you pick a certain number of cards from this tarot Oracle card deck, and I pick a certain number and you can focus on something. But generally, it's not going to tell you if you're going to get a man, if this thing or that thing is going to succeed. It'll tell you about opportunities, things you can let go of, things that will help you evolve and grow. And we just lay out the cards and start reading them. And so the purpose is to give people guidance and direction. And I find that it's really helpful for adults. I know as an adult I can be really visual and if there's a card that describes in picture form what we're talking about, it seems to help me in move forward. And I'm getting the audio stuff and then the energies there, just holding this big loving holding space. So it's really a cool way just to get a good feel for what are opportunities are there, how can I move forward, what do I need to let go of? And any other thing that comes through in the moment. But it's really important to know that there's no such thing as cards telling you what your future is, because we always have a myriad of possible futures, including the highest clear spread, but it changes from moment to moment based upon how we are, what we do, and how society is, and how all the people in our lives are. So there's so many variables that I don't focus on that I'm talking to you, soul to soul, and hoping that there's something in there that will help you to continue to evolve and grow and to be a more loving, wholehearted person, I guess. Well, we've talked about a lot of stuff. I've had a great time with you. I'm going to continue talking to you after this. I'll reach out to you. But is there anything that you haven't said or shared about, or I haven't asked you that you want to talk about? It feels like it's a lot for one conversation. I guess I would say to your audience, the way to connect with me, my phone number is there and email is there on the website. Feel free to text me. Just let me know that you saw me on Eddie's podcast and you have some questions. I'm happy to answer them, and maybe that's the best thing that we can do today for the audience. And you know how to find me if you need me. So. Yes, yes, yes. We'll. Have that as well. Fantastic. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. So grateful we spent some time together today. Yeah, me too. Really nice heart to heart connection. I feel great. It doesn't always happen that way, so I, I'm very grateful to Eddie.