The C.H.O.D.E.S. Podcast
Two cousins, Maria and Leslie, discussing wild personal experiences in relationships, current events, and just life. We are sharing our experiences for relatability and entertainment. There will be laughs with a lot of gasps and we will also get down to the very intimate and raw details of the dating world and life lessons at every turning point.
Email us to thechodes3@gmail.com
The C.H.O.D.E.S. Podcast
Mariah's Toxic Love Story
Imagine reconnecting with a childhood flame under the firework-lit sky of Guatemala, only to find that not all is as it seems. We're sharing stories that pluck at the heartstrings, from youthful romances rekindled to the raw realities of navigating love amidst addiction and the collapse of shared dreams. Mariah opens up about the peaks and pitfalls of a past relationship, shedding light on the strength it takes to support a partner through thick and thin and the heavy decisions faced within the throes of dysfunction and betrayal.
Strap in for an emotional rollercoaster as we walk the tightrope of heartbreak, with tales of breakup aftermaths that are as real as they come. From harrowing dreams that foreshadow an ex's infidelity to the daunting task of confronting painful truths, our conversation is a deep dive into the resilience required to leave toxicity in the rearview. There's solace in solidarity, and as we bear witness to the support that comes from friends and strangers alike, this episode is a testament to the unshakeable human spirit that persists through life's trials and tribulations.
DM us your questions or tell us your story!
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Hello everyone, welcome to Cousins, honestly, Openly Discussing Everything Spicy.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the show. I wanted to laugh because you got confused. I know what did I say. Well, it's like I could tell you were like Cousins, honestly, openly Discussing Everything Spicy. Yeah, like I was trying to spit it out in my head and then I forgot what I was supposed to do. I was like oh wait, hold on.
Speaker 1:I thought we perfected this last week, but no oh my god, we'll get it after. We'll probably get it after a year, maybe hopefully if not, it'll be like the first laugh all over again. Oh wow, happy late birthday, babe. How was your birthday?
Speaker 2:It was nice. This one was different because you know usually me and you escape out of the country, out of the state to do something. But this one was more chill. I just took some time off work, stayed home, kind of decluttered some of my stuff, you know and nice family dinner and our lovely cousin the baker made me this cute little Hello Kitty cake and it was Funfetti, my favorite. So it was nice, that's nice, that's cool.
Speaker 1:I love Funfetti.
Speaker 2:It was different from not being with you, because I think I spent all my birthdays with you for the past what?
Speaker 1:Yeah, 10 years, Pretty much. Yes, we stopped spending your birthdays together after you turned 30.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I like how you paused. You're like I didn't want to give out your age. Everyone knows my age now, at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it was because I was, you know, traveling back and forth, usually around this time. I don't know why, but I know we only didn't spend two years together. And then everything before that and everything after that we spent it together, except for this year. But we'll do something.
Speaker 2:We'll get it. We'll get to that. The funny part is, we're going to talk about why those two years weren't spent with me, but anyways, yeah, how was your?
Speaker 1:weekend, oh girl, disastrous. No, just kidding. Well, it was mother's day on a friday. For me it's latino mother's day, right, and?
Speaker 2:for me, it's Latino Mother's Day, right For me. Dice que what am I?
Speaker 1:white. Well, she has, you know, white traditions, white tendencies, I don't know, oh my God.
Speaker 2:I'll remember this, Mariah.
Speaker 1:Did you celebrate it on Friday?
Speaker 2:No, you guys did it on Sunday. Girl, I didn't even celebrate it on Sunday, let's just put it down. Well, anyway, my mom was with me on both. No, not Friday. She wasn't with me. My intention was to say something to her on Friday, and then I forgot, and then she was working, and then I forgot and I was driving, and then I forgot again, and then, when I remembered, I'm like ya se paso el dia.
Speaker 1:So I was like, I'll just wait till Sunday.
Speaker 2:And then Sunday me and her are cleaning, cleaning up after our mess and stuff, and she was like yo valiendo madre. And I was like, oh, it's kind of too late.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know what to say about that, but I made my mom like a strawberry and cream cake or something like that on Friday and Saturday, like I started on Friday night and I finished Saturday morning, and then a Saturday girl, I broke one of my molars, so I know I spent the whole weekend in that pain and I went. I went to a dentist on Monday night, so that that's kind of how I spent my weekend dang, did you get them fixed?
Speaker 1:yeah, I did. You know it's money. Anytime you go to the dentist or anything related to the doctor. It's like the mechanics girl I went to and I went to wash. You know, washing is always a fucking nightmare, especially the people that they grab all the machines. Like there's this lady that I don't know why. It's like just my luck that every time I go she goes and she has like 10 machines going at the same time and then she wants to get all the dryers. So she literally put like a sock here, a shirt, there, a shirt somewhere else and I'm like I'm going to fucking start doing that because I'm a decent person. You know we like to be decent, but these people don't give a fuck. So I'm like I'm going to start not giving a fuck too, because damn.
Speaker 2:They're savages. That's why I get in such a mood like I mentally have to prep myself to go do laundry. For those of you that have a washer and dryer at home, count your blessings.
Speaker 1:I can't wait for the day I know. Remember I told you on monday I'm like I just want to have enough money to have a washer and dryer in my house, because it's it's hard dealing with people. I hate dealing with people, but it is what it is, babe yeah, no, I no.
Speaker 2:No, I'm here this weekend. Well, I was at my brother's ranch and he has a washer and dryer, so I was. I think that was the highlight of my night. Like that, I was able to wash my clothes before I left. I was like it's so nice to not have to worry about do I have enough quarters and do I have to fight some lady with her five kids for a dryer when all I have is one load.
Speaker 1:I know I don't understand. Like the parents that go together to do the laundry, like look, I understand some people are like okay, well, men can wash too, you know? Like whatever, whatever Women and men can do everything together or separate if they choose to. But when the mom and the dad both go to the laundromat with like the four children and none of these little fuckers are helping, I'm like why the fuck are you here? Go home, exactly. Go home. Like one of you can stay here and one of you can go take care of the kids at home. Like nobody's doing anybody a favor. Like because nobody's helping anybody, because the man or the woman is usually either on their phone or like not paying attention to the kids. The kids are doing whatever the hell. Oh, mm-mm, no girl, that's just not for me.
Speaker 2:I hate it. Like you said, I get that they're both there to supposedly help each other, but what gets me mad is when I see whoever if it's the husband, the wife, whoever just standing on the sidelines. They're not even taking care of the damn kids that are running around jumping everywhere and they're not even like helping fold or like wash the clothes. They're literally just there in the car chilling. I'm like why are you here? You could have stayed at home watching the damn kids.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, and then come pick up your person. I don't know, girl, I don't understand the logic of those families Like I don't know. Look, listen here. Let me tell you something. When we have kids, we'll see how we act and react. For now we can only talk shit because we're not in it. But I just I know the way we grew up and if we would have behaved the way that these kids behave, we would have gotten it, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there was no way we could be running around.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, mariah, about the last episode, what'd you think? Oh well, I think people found out a lot about me and or expected more.
Speaker 1:I think they expected more, but also you gave us a lot. I got a comment saying that you were very reserved and that you hold back, and I'm like, well, yeah, I have no one it's not that I'm in a relationship to your boyfriend.
Speaker 2:We're good or cannot. Anything I say can be held against him. Why do you guys always think I'm saying this is incriminating? This is incriminating.
Speaker 1:Right. Like that's what I said. I was like I have no one to answer to, or like respect right, it's out of respect. But you do have a relationship so, and we and we understand that you had a life before this, but there are things that you know don't need to be out there.
Speaker 2:So I think I mean they can be out there. But, like, for the purposes of the podcast, like we try to keep our episodes to a minimum of 30 minutes and that episode was an hour, guys. If I would have gone into details as to like, oh, and then, like, he asked me to send pictures to these guys. You know we're're gonna be talking for forever, so if we want to know more. If we're gonna go into those kind of details, that's for another podcast that we're gonna talk about it.
Speaker 1:We're gonna talk about it for another episode?
Speaker 1:yeah, like we always say there's a story for another day. We should make a shirt with that already. Yeah, no, but I think so what you know? Just put our faces on it. No, but I think for me that I know the story and, like you know, I've been in the trenches with you or whatever. I think you did really good because I obviously I listened to the episode multiple times when I'm editing, when I posted like I listened to it after and I'm like there was no way that we could have done this in less time, because it was a lot to go into and I was thinking of how I was gonna do mine and I was like fuck, leslie was really like she summarized that shit because it's like what 10 years yeah, it was like 10 years of chaos, yeah and for an hour.
Speaker 1:No, like that. I'm over here like it's gonna take me three hours to talk about three years no, like, like even you asked me like what are you going to talk about?
Speaker 2:What are you going to say? And I was like, well, I don't want to give some things away, because I knew there were some things that you didn't know and I thought it was going to be cool because you're going to find out new things that you didn't know. But also I can't share every detail. I basically just highlighted the main parts, but as for the you know, x-rated content like that, I mean I can share. It's my past, it happened. I can't turn back time, I can't change it. It already happened and I'm sure pictures are out there somewhere online, right videos and everything. But we'll talk about that another time. So, mariah, good luck summarizing your story with the homeboys, because I'm ready to listen. I'm sure I'm going to find out some things too.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know, maybe. Okay, so we're finally going to talk about homeboy.
Speaker 2:And let the people know who homeboy is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So for those of you who know, Homeboy is my ex-boyfriend, the one that I talk about the long distance relationship. He was the love of my life, the man of my dreams, the guy I was going to marry. I'm going to start from the beginning. We met when we were in kindergarten and he was a grade older than me I don't even know how to say that he was like kinder I was pre-kinder. I don't even know how to say that he was like kinder I was pre-kinder, I don't know and he would run around the school chasing me to pull on my braids because when I was little my grandma used to braid my hair, and so he would chase me around the school to like, pull my braids. And so, like you know, when you're little, everybody's like oh, if they're mean to you, they like you. Oh, such a stupid mentality out of school.
Speaker 1:I stayed in school and then the years went by and obviously you know we were kids, we were like what? Four or five at this time, and then when we were in high school, you could say I was like 16, 17 and we kind of started to have something. And he would go to my house and he would have been, like, I think, like my second guy ever, no, like third maybe, I think third. But we kind of chickened out at the last minute because I was innocent back then and I was like, oh no, let's just kiss, you know, in the back room of my grandma's house, because my grandma at that time she was here and so he wouldn't go to school to come to the house with me. And it was innocent, we really wouldn't do anything but kids and I watch movies or like cook or whatever.
Speaker 1:And it was cute, right, it was like a, like a teenage romance, yeah, and but at that time I'm gonna be honest with you I didn't really like him like that, because he had like a big nose and he had pimples and he didn't have a beard and he was kind of dorky, like he was super skinny and dorky, and so I was like, uh, you know, like I like you, but like just to keep you around, but not really like that. So, yeah, and then when I was 17, I moved here and I didn't tell anyone that I was gonna move here and we kept in contact through the chat on MSN. Do you remember the chat on MSN? Like the hot meal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my god, MySpace, fucking MSN girl. We're going back back.
Speaker 1:So, little by little, we kind of lost contact and we stopped talking to each other. I didn't know what happened to him and he obviously didn't know what happened to me. And so for my grandma's 80th birthday, remember, we all traveled to Guatemala. We went to her birthday party and I told my grandma look, I love you, I came for your party and the party because by my house for New Year's there's this party where my dad started it like way, way back in the days where he, like, blocked the street with his trailer and that was my dad, the founding father, yeah, and so.
Speaker 1:So there's this like block party, right, that all the people from all over come and it's like a street party. So I told my grandma like I'm not to go with you for New Year's, I'm going to go to this party. So me and my brother go, and my brother's like dude, like you haven't been here for like 10 years, the people are not the same Like you're not going to see your friends, like, or I don't know if you're going to see your friends, you know. So I was like well, I don't know. I was like let's just circle around for 30 minutes and if we don't see anybody, we'll just go. And what do we say, leslie, when in doubt, go right.
Speaker 1:So we went towards the right side and we just kind of started circling around. And so when we were about to like finish the circle, you could say my brother taps my shoulder and he just like he points. And I look up and it's this guy Right, and he's like so fucking happy to see me. And he's like oh, my God, I can't believe you're here. And I'm like oh, how are you? And it was like the biggest hug and like kissing me all over the face and everything and needless to say we spent it and it feels so good.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so it was like a. It was like a fucking hallmark moment. You know like, if you like those hallmark movies, the know like, if you like those hallmark movies, they're like christmas movies, where the girl goes back to her town or whatever. That's how I felt, girl, I'm a big sucker for christmas movies, and that's just how I felt. So we ended up spending then, like not, we didn't spend the night together, but we just spent the whole night at the party together, because this party goes on all night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's new year's and it's all like people don't start leaving back to their houses till like 6, 7 am, maybe 8.
Speaker 1:Literally we started walking out of there at 7 and we still went to my friend's house to carry on the party there. And then we got to my house like at 10 in the morning, yeah. So I remember we went to the restroom and we kind of like looked at each other but I knew that he was married. I knew that he was married because he told me and I was like wait, no, like I can't kiss you, you're married. And he's like no, I'm not. And I'm like no, yeah, you are. Like I saw it on your facebook, because we had just like saw each other on facebook or whatever. And so he's like no, I'm not married, he's like we're separated. Starting with fucking lies For somebody who talks so much about fucking red flags. Girl, she didn't see none that day. She was like what?
Speaker 2:Oh, we'll get to that. Miss New Years, We'll get to that.
Speaker 1:So anyway. So I kind of backed away from the kiss, but he went in and he kissed me and, girl, I like kissing. Ok, I don't know what to tell you. So that's kind of how it started, and I had to come back, obviously. So we started texting every day, we started seeing each other every day and then when I came back, I was seeing some guy before leaving, the fat chef that we mentioned in the first episode.
Speaker 1:The very first episode, I asked God for a sign and I was like, look, if I'm not supposed to be with this like fat dude or whatever, like just send me a sign. And literally his fiance contacted me on Instagram and told me everything and I was like, girl, you can have them. Thank you so much. Bye, blocked him, and so I was like, okay, I'm cleared to be with homeboy. Right, stupid of me. And so we became boyfriend and girlfriend, like on Januaryuary 7th of 2020. Okay, so as soon as I got back, I literally booked the flight to go back to guatemala on my birthday to be with him so for clarification, seven days after you guys reunited.
Speaker 2:Just for clarification.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so remember how we said I get obsessed.
Speaker 2:This is how you know I'm in the reader seat, I'm just listening. I'm gonna give you my report. I know, I know I know.
Speaker 1:So okay, so I go back to atamala in february, right, and mind you this whole time like we haven't done anything. So I went because I say bajo de agua, like I went hiding because my mom was the only one who knew that I was there a day before I was supposed to be there.
Speaker 1:So I got there, he went to pick me up from the airport and my brother, my grandma nobody knew that I was there, and so I spent the whole day with him. I spent that night with him and the next day, supposedly, he went to pick me up from the airport and dropped me off at my grandma's right. So the very first day that we spent together was great. We took so many pictures and you know, like I was in La La Land and like oh my God, this is the love of my life and I'm so in love. And again we spent that. Like, basically what happened is that the first night that he dropped me off at my grandma's, I stayed at my grandma's and then after that I was like I don't want to stay here, so anyway, so I didn't want to, like. I was like I don't want to stay at my grandma's, I want to sleep with my boyfriend and I want to stay at my boyfriend's. And I just told my grandma like I'm going to go spend the night at his house, and so basically, from that moment on, I never left his house. Every time I would go to Guatemala, I wouldn't go, stay at my grandma's, I would stay at his house.
Speaker 1:So then the pandemic happened. Like I think 10 days after I got back, the pandemic happened, everything shut down and I call it like I say that we had a pandemic relationship because he didn't get to know me how I really was Like in terms of going out and like doing the most you know, because you know I like to go out, like I think we both have different ways of going out, but I still like to go dancing, I like to go like to events or whatever. So he didn't get to see that part of me and he obviously liked to party too. He liked going out. He didn't like going dancing, clubbing or anything like that. Like in Guatemala it's more normal to just drink outside your buddy's house or whatever and like just get drunk and pass out in the street.
Speaker 2:I don't know it's normalized, yeah, like it's normalized over there.
Speaker 1:Alcoholism, yay, but yeah. So, because Guatemala did have a curfew. He couldn't leave his house after 6 pm and at his work he was the manager of the warehouse, so he would just show up like for like 30 minutes in the morning and then go back home. So basically we spent the whole day talking on the phone, like the whole day, even when I was at the office. We were texting each other, we were sending each other voice notes. Like every break I would get I would call him. On my way home I would call him, and so we had that pandemic relationship where it was just like me and him.
Speaker 1:I was in my own little bubble and nothing could break it Right. And in the beginning it was good because we both had like a good job. He had a good salary, I had a good salary. Then other stuff happened, hold up.
Speaker 1:So the first year I go back when they opened the airports again in October and we take our first trip together. And I should have known then, girl, I should have known then that it was going to be messy, because the first day that I get to Guatemala, like yeah, I was like humping each other and like we couldn't get our hands off each other and we were really happy to be together. But, like after like the first time that we like that, we fucked right. Um, he went and he got drunk with us, like we all got drunk together. But he got drunk, drunk like drunk, and he like broke a beer bottle, like he stepped on the glass, he cut his foot and I was fucking pissed and I was like you're acting like a fucking idiot. What is your problem? Like I was like this is why I get mad at you when you're drinking guatemala, like like when you drink when I'm not here. I mean, and he was just, you know, acting like a little stupid and my brother was just looking at me like fuck, you know, like he's fucking up a trip. Mind you, my nephew's there Like my nephew at the time is still like underage. His kid is like really small because he had a kid. His kid was like eight years old at the time, so it was just like a whole ordeal.
Speaker 1:And then the next day I wake up and I'm like what the fuck is wrong with you, dude? Like this trip is like I'm only here for five days and you choose to get stupidly drunk where you don't want to do anything the next day and I'm like, what the fuck? Like why the fuck did I come for, you know? So that trip was, it was one of our better ones, but it was a little disastrous, okay. And then I come back and as soon as I come back, he like he crashed his car because he swore that I would what do you call it? That? I would always be against him having fun. What I said in one of the episodes, right, that I was a fucking bitch and that I was toxic, and that I was this and I was that and I was like dude, no, like it's just, you're an idiot. So, jumping back to Christmas, I go and I spend Christmas and New Year's with them. The first Christmas we spend at my grandma's house.
Speaker 1:You know how grandma is and religious, not only that, but like she's very strict, you know. And so, past midnight, the thing to do before was like spend midnight with them, eat at the mall or something, and then go to the party. But because it was the pandemic, the parties just stopped, the street parties just stopped. So we stayed drinking at my grandma's. And what we were doing, girl, we were playing monopoly, we were playing uno, and this guy was getting rowdy and grandma went to sleep and this guy was like, like words, bad words in Spanish you know everywhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I'm like we're fucking leaving.
Speaker 1:Yeah, messy. So I told him. But I was like we're fucking leaving, like we can't stay here. So that's Christmas, then for New Year's, one of your uncles decides to message me at midnight, like talking shit about how I'm putting my grandma in danger by being there because it's the pandemic and I'm gonna kill her. Exactly at midnight, girl, and I was like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:So I got really really mad and he came and he tried to like console me is that is that the word? Like yeah, like yeah, yeah, babe, like it's fine. And I was like don't fucking touch me, because you know, when I, when I get mad, I just, I just snap at people, whoever the fuck is in front of me, do not look at me, do not talk to me, do not touch me, because I'm just going to go off on you. So I was like do not fucking touch me, like I'm just fucking pissed, let me just get you know, resolved it by myself. And oh, oh, my god, that hurt his feelings and so he decided to go outside and drink by himself basically all the beer that we had, because everything for him the solution was drinking, girl, drinking, drinking, drinking. And that was our biggest problem in the relationship that we would always fight, because he really was an addict, he was an alcoholic and I just I knew it and I want to see it. So that's Christmas and New Year's, 2020, 2021.
Speaker 1:As soon as I got back, oh no, he didn't. Yeah, as soon as I got back, they did, like changes in his workplace and he had to now go to an office and he's like, oh, I'm just not the type of person to go into the office because, like, I don't like to have a boss, I'm my own boss. You know narcissistic mentality. So, like three months in, I started applying for another job and he gets fired. So I got technically a promotion because I was making more money and he didn't have a job.
Speaker 1:And so me being me thinking that we're gonna build together, that we're gonna do everything together, I'm like well, babe, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna get another job? Like that, we're going to do everything together. I'm like, well, babe, what are you going to do? Are you going to get another job? Like, what do you want to do? And he was like no, with the money that I get, like his severance package. He was like I'm going to open up my own business and I was like, okay, we can do that, we can totally do that, I'll help you, like whatever you need me to do. So, girl, I I basically basically did all the advertising. I created the logo, I created all the advertising for his little shop. It was like a mini market and I think all I gifted him was, um, like a display case, like a. It's like a. What do you call a mueble como un trinchante?
Speaker 1:like a shelf like yeah, yeah, like a shelf, but like with glass, where you can like put the products and people can see it when they go into oh, like a display case, yeah, display case, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's the only thing I gifted him. And, girl, when I tell you that was a failure because he had this crazy idea like, oh, I'm going to sell alcohol. But again, he was a fucking alcoholic. So the first thing everybody told him was do not treat your business like your house. Respect your business right, don't do anything stupid. No, he would have his friends come over and supposedly they would come and drink at his shop just so he could sell them the liquor and they didn't have to go spend somewhere else. But what would happen is he would get drunk with them on his own supply. They would steal from him and he wouldn't see any fucking money. And later on in life I found out that he never actually paid for the rent of the place yeah, the spot that he had this shop yeah, yeah, like the local, I don't know the shop yeah, it's just I winning a spot
Speaker 1:yeah, I found out that his mom would just give him the money every month and I'm like I, when I talked, when she told me and I talked to her, I was like why did you do that? Like that's on you, like because you're enabling him. You know, you're just enabling him to continue with his like, his addiction, basically. So he spent like a whole year doing that.
Speaker 1:At this time, I got this job that I'm telling you about that would allow me to work from over there and I would go, girl, and I would go sit at that shop working on my laptop day and night with him. For like three weeks that I was there and I didn't mind it because we were together and I think, like those those three weeks are like probably our best three weeks in the entire relationship, because we were alone, without his mom, without his kid, without my family, without my mom. Like it was just me and him in that little shop. It was like the happiest time that we had. We would fuck in the restroom. Sometimes there was customers looking for him and we were like, you know, in the best moment or whatever like it was good, you know like when we had a good time.
Speaker 1:We had a good time. I'm not gonna just talk shit about the bad times, because, you know, I think we were really in love. I think we, for a moment there we really did care about each other like to the max. And I'm not gonna lie and say that I don't miss those moments sometimes, because I do, but, like I know, I'm better off without him. But when I think about like those three weeks specifically, like it always brings a smile to my face because only I know how we felt. You know so.
Speaker 1:But again, those were three weeks where he couldn't act like his real self, which was drinking every fucking day, acting like a fucking idiot every day. So when I came back again, he went to jail, girl, because he was drinking at a store, like in the corner of his house, and the cops got there and he started getting rowdy, as he would get when he was drinking. And, yeah, he went to jail. And so that was. I was like see, this is what I mean. Like why can you act like a normal fucking human being when I'm not there? Like why does it take me to be there for you to fucking behave like an adult? You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean.
Speaker 1:Like that was my biggest pet peeve with him and like what has always kind of like touched my heart, I guess, or like hurt my heart, is his son, because, like, his son is the one who suffers all the stupid shit that he does. So our three-year relationship sums up in in basically what I'm telling you. Like me going there, I call it the guatemala effect. I've talked to you about this when I was here. We were, but we were fighting because he would disappear on me and he was like it wasn't even until this day, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't think that he was fucking anyone else, because everybody over there knowed him as Maria's boyfriend. So anytime they would see him on the street, anytime they would see him at the park, every time that they would see him at the store, they'll text me and be like hey, I saw your boyfriend in such and such place. Hey, I saw your boyfriend with such and such person. I saw your boyfriend with your brother. I saw him in the car with so and so. So every time somebody would give me the like 411 on where he was, you know. So whenever he would disappear on me, it was because he was getting like out here getting drunk and I could tell that he was doing something else, because his eyes would just go dead like a shark girl, like you know, like the, the shark eyes yeah, they would dilate uh-huh, yeah, and again, I didn't find this out until later he would beat the fuck out of his mom when he was like that and I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I would have known it sooner, like what I would have done, but I know. I know that I was there for one of the times that he did it and I got in between them I lost like three nails. I went to the ER to get them surgically removed, but I still stayed so like for another year and a half. So it was a really, it was a really fucking toxic situation. I don't know where it like made me stay for so long. I think like, when I think about it, I'm like I don't know if it was fear of being alone, because I started working from home and I would tell you this, like I had no one to talk to, like he was my only company day and night, because, regardless of what was happening with us, we would still message each other like constantly, call each other constantly, like he was at home. I was at home. We'd be watching movies, like we'd be like one, two, three play, and we were watching them at the same time, like only in separate places, you know. So I think a lot of that had to do with me like not wanting to feel lonely, but like all the love and the honeymoon started wearing out really quick, really bad.
Speaker 1:And you know, when I would go to Guatemala, like I would pay for the trips, because I tell everybody, like, like I was not gonna be eating shit because he couldn't afford the lifestyle that I like you know what I mean. Like you know, when I travel, I go all out because why the fuck not that's what I'm working for? No, yeah, uh. So obviously he was along for the ride, but yeah, like, the last few trips that we took together was just, they were really bad.
Speaker 1:And I think what did it for me for breaking up with him was the trip that we took for New Year's of 2023. Because we went with my mom. It was the first time that my mom was going to Guatemala after a long, long time that she went actually to Guatemala, and so we took a family trip girl, with my mom, my brother, my grandma, like everybody, everybody and homeboy just got stupid drunk and like we minimize to like the max the alcohol that we took because I told my brother I was like I understand that you and I want to party, that we want to party, that we want to have a good time, but and that you guys can enjoy your liquor, but yeah, but if we have it here he's gonna finish it.
Speaker 1:So what happened? My brother didn't listen. We finished what we had and they wanted to go buy more. So they went to buy more and then they put it in the freezer and all of us were outside playing cards and then, little by little, there was no more beers. There was just no more beers, girl. And the crazy part is that he swears that he didn't drink at all. So I don't know who the fuck did.
Speaker 1:But he started getting again aggressive, rowdy. He was talking on the phone, girl, I, I'm gonna fucking post a video of this house, because this house is 13 fucking beds, five rooms, big old fucking field on one side, big old fucking field on the other side, and this motherfucker was in the cabana with us, talking on the phone with his friend, like oh yeah, motherfucker. I talked to that bitch and he was like you know in spanish, like obviously you know, like, like, and you know that I cuss like a fucking construction worker in front of my mom, in front of my grandma. But the way he was doing it was just to be vulgar and fucking annoying with us. And so I look at him and I'm like can you go talk on the phone somewhere else? And he's like I was here first and I was like we're here, playing cards, go somewhere else.
Speaker 1:And he just didn't like the way that I talked to him in front of my family because he felt emasculated, right. He felt like I was the one that I was bringing the money, I was the one paying for everything, I was the one that I was bringing the money, I was the one paying for everything, I was the one doing them. Like all he would do, girl, was literally drive us there because he had a car. And so he swore that doing that was like the biggest fucking thing that he could do for us. We didn't need to do that. We could have paid for a fucking driver and not take him, but me being stupid that I wanted to be with my boyfriend.
Speaker 2:You know like I did that yeah, you wanted the people that you loved with you and so that's when I like, like in my heart of hearts.
Speaker 1:That's when I decided like I'm fucking done, like I cannot believe that he disrespected my family in that matter, like, and he would say you know, he would say like, oh, my, your family hates me and I'm like, um, I fucking wonder why he'll be like you're, my family loves you and your family hates me. And I'm like, because I have not given your family any fucking reasons to hate me. It's must I've been like really fucking good to them. We celebrated his son's birthday at his aunt's house in like a different city. Girl, I was over here, like you know, like let me help you, what can I buy? Like what do you guys need? Like let's do this.
Speaker 1:And like I got the kid like his.
Speaker 1:His party was like a mario party, so I got him like all his clothes, like we're mario and like you know, like I would do the most, like I would do more than I should have, like when we were together, we would go to like Costco from over there and I would buy the little milks for his kid, the little box juices, his like chips, cookies, like any little snacks that he could take like on a daily basis to school and I would buy it like por mayor, you know, like wholesale, like big packs, so he could have it for like two, three months when I would leave, because I knew that when I would come back no one was going to do that for him and the kid would tell me like, oh, maddie, you're the only one that actually treats me like a kid here, and so, like when I think about it too, I'm like like I probably also stayed with him for for that long because I knew that as soon as I would break up with him, he was gonna like completely cut ties between his kid and I, and it's exactly what happened.
Speaker 1:You know this, so if I'm missing something, remind me. Am I missing something that you think is important, that I should talk about? Because I just feel like I'm just going over?
Speaker 2:no, I mean you went through your timeline, because that's mostly like your story. You work from home we all know that and for that time being it was a long distance relationship and when you would see him, like you said, it was good. And then there were bad times too, and even when you were here you were like constantly worried about him because, you knew his behaviors and the care and love that you had for his son.
Speaker 2:In three years you developed that like I can tell you that now, because at the beginning of my relationship I told you I don't know how I'm gonna be, there's no way I can get attached. And then when you see the kids get attached, you're like there's no way you can't get attached. But okay, so the 2023, right, that was the year that you guys split. Last year we were up.
Speaker 1:Okay, so after that trip, my plan was to basically break up with him at the airport.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, Not after, no, no, no Before that trip.
Speaker 1:Yeah, listen. No, not Europe, the trip with my family. I'm Europe, the trip with my family. I'm talking about the trip with my family. So before I came back, my plan was to break up with him at the airport, but I don't know what happened. We were supposed to go in two cars he was supposed to go and bring me, and then my mom was going to go with someone else I don't know. But then my mom ended up tagging along with us and so sorry, I'm trying to gather my thoughts so because my mom was with us, I couldn't talk to him the way I would have wanted to talk to him, because you know our moms, and so so he took me to the airport and it was really, girl, that day was so fucking weird because they canceled our flight and they put us in another flight, and so my mom and I had to go to the airport in the afternoon before actually flying, and so we ended up meeting with the rest of the family and I don't know he was so fucking mad that we all went or something.
Speaker 1:I don't know what the fuck his deal was, that when he drove back to the house, he drove like a fucking maniac. Leslie, like everybody was like dude, like chill, we don't, like there's no rush to get to the house. And he was like I'm just fucking trying to beat traffic, it's because you guys don't drive and you guys don't understand how it feels to be in traffic. And he was just like acting like a fucking dick. Like in hindsight I think now I know why, but we'll go back to that.
Speaker 1:So, and that night he took us to the airport. He was like, okay, well, I'll see you when I see you, basically. And I was like, yeah, okay. And every time that he would drop me off at the airport, it was this thing of like I don't know, I would cry or he would cry, we would go cry, like we would both cry, like, oh, like I'm gonna miss you, da, da da. The time prior to this one, and this time it was like we were both fucking relieved of like not having to be together, like, oh, fucking, finally, you know. And so I was like, when I came back and the first fight that we got, I was like why are we together in january, january, 2023? I was like why are we together? Like we're just friends who say I love you to each other?
Speaker 2:why do you want me to be with you, and you would even ask me, like, am I wrong for staying? Am I like, should I just leave him? You would ask me, and for me it was like you tell me things but I'm not in your position, so I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were one of the few people that never told me like, oh, fucking, do this, fucking, do that. You know, like you were. You were very, I think, calming, even at times when I was like super doubting myself and like I didn't know what to do, like whenever I would talk to you and you would be like, if you think this is your love, like fight for it, and which I did, you know like, for the time that I could, I did. Oh, one very important step that I missed. So he ended up fucking finishing everything in the shop and he got the deposit back from that shop, which was like 40,000 Q's. I don't know how much that is in dollars. It's like I don't know, probably less than $10,000. I don't know, I don't know how much it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like $5,000. Yeah, less than ten thousand dollars, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know how much it was, yeah, but over there, yeah, it's like about, yeah, five thousand, but over there is a lot of money. Even here, five thousand dollars is a lot of money. You know, and tell me why this is right before his son's birthday, and this motherfucker promised his son that he was gonna take him to el irtra, which is basically like knots right, and the kid was so excited and this motherfucker lastly, he was drunk the entire week. He finished that amount of money in one week. Now I know it was because of alcohol and coke, because he was super into coke, but I was baffled because that whole week he was acting like he was super busy because, remember, he had the business of the tamales.
Speaker 1:So for those of you, of you who don't know, guatemalan tamales are like the tamales in the uh, banana leaves and I don't know they they they take a lot of work to make. So so this guy, when he closed the shop, he decided that he was going to start selling tamales. And your cousin girl, I learned how to not really make the tamales but like envolverlos, like wrap them up, yeah, like really good, like. Grandma was impressed last Christmas because she was like, oh, so you really can do it. I'm like dude, I'm like, tamale it out.
Speaker 1:Like I, I'm not gonna eat more tamales in my life because I I've been through this shit. Like I would go to Guatemala one time I went four months to be over there working from over there not on vacation and I would finish my work and I would go help him with the tamales until like two fucking in the morning. Girl, like who would do that, like who was gonna do that for her man. I know there's a lot of girls that are down for her man, but like I was down with this motherfucker, like things that when, when do I fucking cook girl? When do I get in the kitchen?
Speaker 2:like never but it just shows that you loved him like I mean, that's how I mean, that's how Right, like we, we show our love in doing things that we wouldn't do for ourselves, but we know we were, we're helping or pushing someone to do better.
Speaker 1:Mm, hmm, yeah, basically. So then when I came back last year, that was just that was important to the story. Because when I came back last year, after a year and some change of doing that, he decided that he wasn't going to do that anymore, that he was going to start being an Uber driver, a taxi driver, and I was like, again, me being supportive. I was like, okay, babe, whatever you want to do, whatever you know, whatever's up to you, like I support you. And when he started doing the whole taxing thing, I remember my brother told me you do know that they meet a lot of people. And I was like, yeah, I know. And I was like, but he's always on the phone with me. Because what would I tell you? What would I tell everybody? I genuinely, honestly, don't believe that he would cheat on me Because, again, every time people would see him out and about, they would tell me about it. So, and I really didn't think that he was smart enough to do it which he wasn't, by the way but I remember I told my brother like, yeah, I know, I'm like he's always talking to me on the phone, though like he's not hiding anything from me. I don't know if my brother knew something he didn't tell me, or somebody made a comment, I don't know.
Speaker 1:La mierda es que a couple months late, like two, like a month later, my mom and I because we would video chat all the time we saw him that he got a haircut. Prior to this he looked like marv from home alone. I'll fucking the shoveled girl, like, like, not giving a fuck about his appearance. So one day in march he cut his hair, he shaved his beard, he, um, he cleaned his room and I was like, oh so your girlfriend's coming over because that's what he would do when I would go over. And so I already had, like I already had tried to break up with him, like twice in January, like three times in February, like two times already in March, and again it was that thing that he would always be like, no, I'm sorry, like I'm not going to do it, that we like all this time that we had together that are la misma mierda, you know the same shit. Over and over and again I would always be like, okay, maybe he's right, you know like, maybe I'm not going to find someone else, or maybe I'm going to miss him. And you know, maybe this, maybe this, maybe that.
Speaker 1:So when my mom saw that he shaved, my mom was like, are you ready? And I was like, am I ready for what? And she's like, if homeboy is cheating on you, like are you ready for that? And I was like, what makes you say that? And she's like I just, I just want to know that you're ready. And I was like, well, mom, if, if, if he is, he is, it's on him, you know. Like he's going to be the one to lose me, like not me. And so we go to Europe. When we went to Europe, I was not with him, like I was broken up with him, because I was like you told us that? No, because before I left, I was like, okay, I'm fucking done with you, like I'm done, done, done. That's why I didn't tell him that our friend was going with us, because I was like I don't know you any fucking explanations.
Speaker 2:and then, of course, he found out that was a nightmare, sorry, because we were trying to figure out, like because he's very, I don't know, in a way machista, and he, just if he would have found out another guy was going, regardless of his sexuality, he would have been flipping out and oh yeah you were stressing out about that. Yeah, exactly Because it was my birthday trip and it was my friend who he just, he was just an idiot dude.
Speaker 1:He was just an idiot all around. Because when he did find out and he got, he talked shit to me about it and I was like, okay, so you have gay friends. Are you saying they want to fuck you too? He's like no, but like no, no, gay guy is for 100 gay. I'm like you're so fucking stupid, you're so ignorant like you just sound like an idiot, you know. So I go to the trip in europe. He sees your picture that you posted of us three and he's like oh so, yeah, yeah, so leslie's boyfriend went with you guys and I was like, uh, no, that's actually leslie's friend. I didn't meet him until we got to the airport today, which wasn't that a lie? Yeah, I don't lie, I do not lie. And so he was like oh, so you went with a, with a guy, and I was, well, yeah, he's Leslie's friend, he's gay, you know.
Speaker 2:Like he's with us and that was like I thought that matters, but okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I was like what is it to you, you know? So I just didn't want to hear it and he tried, he tried his fucking best to ruin my trip girl.
Speaker 2:No, me and our friend, we kept telling you like can you stop with the phone, like don't pay him no mind. And, mind you, I was in my relationship in the start of it, where I was still in the freaking honeymoon phase of my relationship and I was barely trying to make time for my like communication with my boyfriend and you were with this guy most of the time like talking and we like you gotta stop, mariah, you gotta stop but no, I wasn't talking to him all the time though, because that was the what.
Speaker 1:That was one of the reasons that he got mad at me, that he was fucking like, oh, so you said you were gonna talk to me, like in the night, and I'm like, yeah, my night is your morning bitch, like fuck. No, he got mad at me for that. Like, despite what you guys believe, I was not talking to him the way I would usually talk to him either way.
Speaker 2:He had no right to get mad because technically you were quote, technically we weren't together, girl.
Speaker 1:But like again we talk about toxicity, like why would fucking the devil get mad at you? And you know like he taps on you? He wasn't anything of yours, you know? Like, why do these guys do anything?
Speaker 1:they're just they know that they manipulate us, and so yeah exactly he was trying to manipulate me and at the end of the day, like I didn't, I didn't let him. I didn't let him because, if you remember, when we were going to disney, or like when we were going to the arctic triumph, I was. I was like you know what? Like you do whatever the fuck you want to do, I'm going to do. Whatever the fuck I want to do. I don't have data to be talking to you Like that's it. Fucking, leave me alone. Y lo mandé a la mierda, you know.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, to wrap it up, when I got back, he fucking I could show you the Bible that he wrote me, girl begging for forgiveness, asking to get back. And I was just like no dude, like we need to end this, like I, I can't deal with it anymore, I just can't. I was fucking crying all the time. I was sad, all the time I was. I was just really, really in a bad place. I was like super fucking, like overweight, like I'm still overweight, but like I was like 20 pounds heavier maybe, and it was super unhealthy, you know. And so I, just I, I ended it precisely around this time, actually, right, like no, around this time. We were still on the trip. Like as soon as we got back on the trip.
Speaker 1:We were in Italy right now last year, I know, and so so I ended it because of reasons, I know, and so so I ended it because of reasons pertaining to myself that I was just I. I cannot deal with you anymore. I fucking hate the way you make me feel. I just don't like you as a person anymore, etc. Etc. Everybody thought that the reason I broke up with him was because of what came after, which is, basically we found out like a month after he posted a picture with his new girlfriend. He blocked me from everywhere. He posted a picture with his new girlfriend, who is I don't know. I don't even know how to describe her, but and he blocked me.
Speaker 2:He blocked all your family members.
Speaker 1:Not all of them, he still has. He only blocked you and me. He literally only blocked you and me and he blocked you and me and he didn't block my brother, he just deleted my brother. The thing is that people started telling my brother like he is your sister, not with so-and-so anymore, because we saw him with a person girl. There was one of my classmates who had never fucking talked to me, even when we went to school together. She called me. She was like hey, are you still with this guy? Like I know I saw pictures of you together. No, I was like no, why? And she told me like oh, I just I'm doing uber. And he got on my car with this girl her name is this and this and that and I was like, okay, well, let thank you for letting me know, but no, we're not together anymore.
Speaker 1:So as soon as we broke up, girl, the fucking Pandora's box opened and everybody started calling me, telling me about basically what he was doing. Now, right, and I was just like, okay, cool, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't hurt like a little bit in the beginning, but it was like whatever you know and I knew. I knew that one of the big reasons that this girl was super into him is because he's a narcissist and he would portray online what he wasn't, which was basically he didn't have money. He would post about all the trips, but nobody obviously knew that he wasn't the one financing them, and so this girl, as far as I know, she thought that she was gonna have the life with him that he had with me. Does that, does that click? Yeah, so like to me.
Speaker 2:That makes me feel good because I'm like huh, you thought bitch but no, but the only reason why he had those things and that, those trips and all that lifestyle is because of you yeah, exactly so it's like yeah, you know you get what you want.
Speaker 1:Like you get what you get, not what you want, is the thing. And then we found out that she was okay. So this is where my witchiness come from. Remember when we broke up, I had a dream that I was walking by his house that.
Speaker 1:I saw him open the door and I saw this bitch that was super pregnant, Like this really fucking dark girl, and I told you, like she's pregnant. And then what happens? A couple of months later, Like I think in October, we found out that she was in fact pregnant. You went off.
Speaker 2:I went off. I went off and if you guys don't know me like that because even my cousin knows me to not be like this I never stood up for myself. I went through someone else's profile and sent him messages, just like telling him a bunch of shit, and my cousin here got mad that I did that because she's like you don't know this guy. And I was like, well, I was just seeing red and I was like, well, I'm not fucking scared of him, and yada, yada, yada. But for me it's like it's one thing that he cheated Okay, let's just go, he's an asshole but then to find out that he knocked some bitch up after he had put my cousin through hell, making her feel like shit, and for her to like basically be his mother by like helping him out any way he can and then mothering his child, who's already, you know, set up for failure because his dad is providing him with this environment, and you know it just sucked, and so I was just mad.
Speaker 1:So I don't know. Yeah, it's a combination of a lot of things. Yeah, because I was like you don't know, because he he has a lot of bad friends like he. Just, you know, you don't know what he's gonna do, because he's super vengeful too. He's just bad all fucking around, dude.
Speaker 2:I just I don't know, I'm fucking stupid but yeah, basically he's with now like what is, like she doesn't do anything right, she hasn't, so with that, he's not gonna do anything he's gonna do, whatever she says this is true, but she's also a low life.
Speaker 1:She's also like the last thing I found out is that they both don't work. Um, he's basically selling all of his mom's belongings to make money, and that's as far as I know. But yeah, so to. To just finish the story, it was kind of a happy relationship for a while and then it just turned into a fucking nightmare. I should have left a year and a half in. I fucking didn't, because I'm an idiot, but it was a lesson learned for sure.
Speaker 1:Like one, I am never, ever going to be the girl who supports a man again, and I don't care what the fuck anybody says Like oh, you have to build together. No, no, no, no. I don't want to be the woman of the process, if that even is a thing Like in Spanish, le dicen la mujer del proceso, which basically means like you're there for their process of growth and then they discard you and then they go and build with someone else. So I never want to be that again. I never want to be with someone as low life as him. I am fucking sorry, but I don't ever want to be with someone with kids again, not because I don't like the kids, because I love his kid. I cry for the kid from time to time, not gonna lie to you, but because of the attachment that comes with being with someone that has kids and the heartbreak that comes after. You know, because, like, I wasn't only mourning my relationship, I was mourning my relationship with the kid, I was mourning my friendship with my ex, because we were friends since we were kids. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like it was, it was a lot of things that happened all at once and I think that's that's why it was so hard to let go. And after that I've gotten messages. I've gotten messages from random ass fucking people saying hey, you don't know who, who I am. I met you one of the times that you came, but I just want to say that you dodged a bullet like hey, just to let you know he's with such and such and you're better off without him.
Speaker 1:His sister, his sister anytime that I go to guatemala, like she invites me to her house to eat, like she's very fucking nice to me, she says hi to me all the time and I do too, like we talk every now and then, and so I think like the fact that I still have a relationship with his. You know, family kind of says a lot about me and like he's just, he's just a big piece of shit. Basically that's how I see it. But yeah, that's my story with him. I I'm sorry if I didn't go into more details. This is already like detailed, as summarized as I could possibly do it.
Speaker 2:It was just, it was just a lot it is I feel like I can't breathe I know, and just to let everyone know, maria is feeling under the weather, because that's why she sounds like that, but she's not getting emotional.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no, Like I'm not sniffling yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel like we have to preface that because you're not as animated right now, but it's because you're not feeling well. But I understand that. But just for the listeners that don't know like. Is she crying, is she getting emotional?
Speaker 1:No, she's, I cried no. Now I only I literally only feel sorry for his newborn baby, for his son. I do not feel sorry for the bitch because she got what she wanted. She wanted my life and she got the life that I would have had had I not left him, which was to eat shit. He would always tell me he wanted to have a baby with me and I'd be like no, no, no, no, no, no, because I knew, I knew that he was never going to get his shit together. So, yes, that's it, boys and girls. That's for the men who traumatized us. If there's anything you guys want to know from Leslie or me, we can do a separate episode on that, but for now, send us your suggestions of what you want to hear in regards to our little traumatizing whatever they are.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, yours was a relationship, mine was a situationship.
Speaker 1:Oh, I said experiences like life lessons, but yeah, that works.
Speaker 2:And for the next episode, for our next episode, we will be talking about our biggest fears or something that well, basically something that scares the living daylights out of us, not that these stories weren't scary enough, right. I know, I know I know Every woman's worst nightmare, and we both lived it.
Speaker 1:This is true, okay, well, babe, I love you. I hope you have a good night and I hope our listeners, you guys, have a good day.
Speaker 2:Love you guys. I want to say thank you to everybody that wished me a happy birthday. I love you guys. Have a good day. Love you guys. Uh, I want to say thank you to everybody that wished me a happy birthday. I love you guys and thanks. See you guys, or we'll talk to you guys next time. Have a good day later all night bye.
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