The C.H.O.D.E.S. Podcast
Two cousins, Maria and Leslie, discussing wild personal experiences in relationships, current events, and just life. We are sharing our experiences for relatability and entertainment. There will be laughs with a lot of gasps and we will also get down to the very intimate and raw details of the dating world and life lessons at every turning point.
Email us to thechodes3@gmail.com
The C.H.O.D.E.S. Podcast
Dating apps, chancers and cheaters... the market is not great
Can you pronounce "Worcestershire" without tripping over your tongue? Join us for a surprisingl insightful episode where we discuss cheating, being a step parent, and what you'll find on the dating apps at the moment.
We also give you the lowdown on making the most of your early 20s, including building great friendships, setting financial goals, and prioritizing self-care. Not rushing into serious relationships and starting to save for retirement early? Yes, please! And who knows, maybe a cousins’ trip to Guatemala is exactly what’s needed to manifest some travel dreams. Tune in for a mix of humor, heartfelt advice, and future travel plans!
DM us your questions or tell us your story!
https://linktr.ee/thech0despodcast
Hi, welcome to Cousins honestly, openly discussing everything spicy.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the chodes.
Speaker 1:There goes the chirp.
Speaker 2:This time it came out On point no practice. That's a brag.
Speaker 1:Literally, I didn't have to go through five consecutive minutes of.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, you gotta warm up the Her vocals yes, la mierda For real, dude. Every time I'm editing I've told you this before, but every time I'm editing I'm just like we're fucking stupid. I can't with us.
Speaker 1:Our vocabulary Por la gran puta.
Speaker 2:Dude, I don't even know we should do a read. No, no, that's just gonna prove. I was gonna say we should read something on like to test our reading level.
Speaker 1:but no, let's not no, no, no. I like that idea. We should post it on the page and have people set a dm something to read. Oh yeah, that they think that we probably can't read we'll entertain them.
Speaker 2:Them Words that you can't say properly, like Worcestershire. How do you say that, worcestershire? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Girl, you're talking to someone that used to call human coming. Yeah, I was like wait, what was that shit? Human coming, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, it's not that far off. You were reading it in the spanish way. That that's the reason why we need it in spanish thank you. Thank you for finding a reasonable excuse for me it happens to me all the time, like people who like you know how, people who say ask, but they don't say ask, they say x. I'm like where, how? Where's the C? Where did that C come from?
Speaker 1:I know, I just don't get it.
Speaker 2:But then again you know like I'm stupid as fuck, so I can't even be judging people on how they speak did you ever watch the movie stepbrothers?
Speaker 1:yeah, I have. Okay, do you know what they're trying to say? Pam, pam, is there two N's? Are they in silence? I'm more like what the fuck?
Speaker 2:that's us every episode that's yeah literally yes, oh my god. Anyway, babe, how we doing today.
Speaker 1:It's hot, I know I know we're doing great surviving um. I went to the beach last weekend so that was festive um, still stressing out about what to do for my mom's 60th. But who knows, by the time this episode's out it would already happen, so hopefully I figured it out you will.
Speaker 2:It'll come to you in a dream, like the dreams you've been having jesus um, you know, I have not been to the beach this summer, which is crazy, because last year, I think because after the breakup I was just trying to be out and do everything I had done, like all the summer activities at this point this year, I haven't done anything, girl.
Speaker 1:I mean you've gone to universal, but I mean not the beach. But I don't invite you to the beach because we have a history of that.
Speaker 2:So yeah, no, that's one of the places that I don't think we're gonna go. Maybe in guatemala no, porque probablemente vamos a estar borrachas. And us drinking at the beach is not a good idea.
Speaker 1:First of all, you have to analyze the time and place that I was in my life back then and what was going on. So that's why, hence the drinking. So I'm not in that space anymore.
Speaker 2:And taking drinks from strangers, because I still believe that drink had something girl right, so you see, there you go.
Speaker 1:Don't put all the blame maybe, maybe in guatemala.
Speaker 2:We'll go to the beach in guatemala, because the beaches in guatemala are not as crazy, I think, at least not where I rent the house okay, I was like here I don't say I don't stay here at night, like like that.
Speaker 2:You know, don't do that, but we'll see, because I'm still getting over my my anxiety when going to the beach like it still causes me a little bit of like oh it doesn't matter the time of day, it's just like the sign of waves, like remember when we went to vegas and fucking what's her name put the sound of the ocean for us to go to sleep and that thing had just happened. I was like you, stupid who did that. Um the chirping one, your bestie.
Speaker 1:My bestie.
Speaker 2:Your bestie, Um, and I'll text it to you because I don't know.
Speaker 1:When did we go?
Speaker 2:Uh, we went when, we went with the whole group when, when Angela Aguilar was like oh, no, but that bitch did it deliberately to piss you.
Speaker 1:yes, okay, yeah, I was like, oh you could have just said that you could have just said the extra one, but I was I. That makes sense. I was like, what group? Yeah, oh, that's funny.
Speaker 2:Thankfully, I always have my headphones on me, so I just put my headphones on, but I was like oh you, stupid, dumb bitch, how dare you? And then the next day he was like Mariah, was she able to sleep last night? And I was like oh, it's stupid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I see it Deliberately.
Speaker 2:But anyway, that's cool. We'll go to the beach together one day. This is the month of manifestation. Like I said last week, we still need to do the Primas en Guatemala trip.
Speaker 1:Like me and you. Yeah, what other cousins Well?
Speaker 2:you know the answer to that question.
Speaker 1:I was like wait, I was like wait.
Speaker 2:No, because we call each.
Speaker 1:I know but now you, now you met, my mom said, and they like you.
Speaker 2:So oh yeah, I know they're cool, I'm sure they'll be down now but now, if that's the case, we have to invite the one on our side, not the one that shall not be named, the other one, the cool one. Okay, you're like. Okay, oh my god, oh my gosh, so I have a question for you. Okay, you might, you might. I saw this thing on instagram today that said women who are over 30 give one piece of advice to women who are in their 20s?
Speaker 2:no, because you'll see why, but just answer okay. So just give one piece of advice to women who are in their 20s. What would be yours?
Speaker 1:one piece of advice like just well, I I wrote a whole ass paragraph girl, but you can do whatever.
Speaker 2:You would advise the children damn okay.
Speaker 1:Well, if you're like in your early 20s, I say enjoy it, and by enjoy it meaning do all the fun stuff, take all the the trips, meet new people, build those friendships, starting at that point, and don't get invested fully in a relationship unless you know it's going really well and you know that it's going to last, because in your 20s you're so young and I mean you still don't know what you fully want or understand what you fully want.
Speaker 1:So don't invest your time and energy on someone else's dreams. Um, yeah. And then for I guess for guys in their early 20s same figure out what you want to do, figure out, get your whole life out, out, in, out there and just get out of your system. Meet all the girlies, have fun and then, once you meet that one and when you're ready like once you have your career established and what you want in life and you've already done all the fun stuff settle down. Find someone. Settle down that could be in your late 20s, but early 20s, and enjoy just meeting people and building relationships like friendships and stuff that's a good one.
Speaker 2:I didn't think about giving advice to the guys, but that's a good one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, build your empire first. Um, so I I commented on the post and I put start taking biotin. Don't go to sleep with your makeup on if you don't feel like going out. Don't have clear boundaries. Don't try to change men at the first red flag. Walk away. Self self-care. Sund Sundays are much better than branching every weekend. Save money and don't seek validation from anyone but yourself. That's what I put. And then I have like 831 likes on that comment and a bunch of little comments under it. But, girl, how we were talking about how people don't know how to read and stuff. Some girl commented on it and she's like why should we stop taking biotin? Is it bad? I'm like girl. I said start taking my. I didn't. I didn't correct her, someone else did. And then another one said oh my God, what the fuck did she say? But hold on, hold on. Where the fuck is the comment?
Speaker 1:I think she deleted it because a lot of people were making fun of her.
Speaker 2:But she said something uh like, how do we start taking bitcoin? And people were like bitcoin, right. And then someone else said all of this 100 and start saving for retirement. I know you're barely surviving as it is, but put something in a savings for later. I promise you won't regret it. But I think this comment section is pretty cool because, like a lot of people are saying good stuff, don't be afraid to set boundaries. No, it's a full sentence. Do not stay if you're not happy. Don't stress too much over anything. All of this is temporary. Yeah, which girl? If we know anything, is that the 20s?
Speaker 2:go by like that, like that meme of the raccoon that has the little cube of sugar and puts it in the water.
Speaker 1:Oh, and he's like where'd they go?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Really that's how you're going to be like where did my 20s go?
Speaker 1:That's where they went, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:That's how time flies, I mean. I have no complaints about my 20s Me neither I like my 20s, but if I can go back.
Speaker 1:I think I would focus on taking care of myself more, like you said, taking the biotin, just going to the doctor, making sure what I can do to improve my health, you know and I don't know, like get into a sport or something just to keep myself physically active. And I would also not just for the guys, but the girls also figure out what you want to do, like the sooner you figure it out, the better. Telling you from someone that, like it took me to get into my 30s to figure out what, like, what I want and how I'm going to go about it. But in my 20s I wasn't focused on that and I think you should focus on that.
Speaker 1:I admire the girlies that are in college. Like they go to college straight out of high school and they already know what career they want. Um, sometimes that's not. Your mind changes and you decide that you want to do something else. Go for it. Like mariah has said before, yeah, education, anything that involves you learning something new, is always going to be for the best. The more traits you know, the more things you have under your belt and you can whip them out whenever you need it.
Speaker 2:So also, if you're, if you're a handsy person like, like, if you work better with your hands, don't go for like, don't take the path that all the adults say like, oh fucking, be a lawyer, be a doctor, be a this because, yes, we need those people. But figure out what you're good at, not only what you're good at, but what you like and like. Do that. So I I firmly believe, like we talked in the work episode, that if money wasn't an issue, a lot more people would be artists. But I think you know it also comes from the mindset of, like, the old school people that they're like, oh, you have to go to college and you have to have a degree. But having a degree nowadays really doesn't mean anything, because there's people in higher positions that have no education and yet they're your fucking manager, they're your boss, they're like the owner of a company. You know like, yes, school is important If that's what you want to do, but also look for something that is going to make you happy, because these airplanes man.
Speaker 2:Because for me, for example, I went to school for medical billing and coding right and yes, it's good money and yes, I'm good at it and I've been doing it for a long time. But I am miserable at my job and I wish I would have had the luxury when I was younger to discover my interest. You know, or like, like you said, like if I could go back on time, I would, instead of taking all the electives in college for I don't know an actual degree, I would go for ceramics, for example. You know, like, just just things that piqued my interest but I never really pursued because I was in the mindset of like, oh, oh, no, that's not going to make me money.
Speaker 1:Yeah exactly Find your passions, because sometimes your passions might serve the community or others. You know, maybe you are a good lawyer and you can help people out of some really tough situations. But if that's not your calling and say you have you're really good at fixing computers or building things out of scratch, you don't know you can build an empire, so it's just looking into things that you're good at. I know the physical girlies that you know have done soccer all their life and then later on they're just like no, I have to do a career and they lose their physical talent with soccer and they're like they don't have time for it. But that was what brought them joy and what brought them peace and, who knows, you can play in a major league do more of what makes you happy all the time, and I would most definitely stop pleasing people like just right, it's giving pick me vibes I
Speaker 2:think I know I was listening to the that book that I sent you and our other cousin the other day it's called um loud. Except nothing less than the life you deserve by drew a follow, and it's a really good book, I think like it's. It's a good listen or read if you're into reading more than listening. I like audiobooks, but it does give you pretty good life lessons. So see, we're being intellectual today. Mm-hmm, I know who would have thought.
Speaker 1:And this is supposed to be like the shit-talking episode, Something like that. Well, we're going to get there, we're going to get there Speaking of shit talking.
Speaker 2:I opened facebook dating again for the third time for the third time I know because I was bored girl, I, I get bored, I start swiping, you know.
Speaker 2:But again, I make it abundantly clear to these guys I'm not looking to fuck around because literally that's not what I'm into. If that's what I wanted, I thought to myself is this really what I want? Right now I'm like no, because if that's what I wanted, you know that opportunities are endless. I put there that I'm looking more for people to go out with, like gym buddies, and made it clear I'm not looking to fuck around. What do guys do? Hey, what's up? You want to add me on Snap? And then I'm like I don't know you like that. So a couple of messages back and forth and then I'm like all right, let's add each other on Snapchat.
Speaker 2:First thing, they fucking do dick pic, bro. I told a guy the other day, I was like I. Other day I was like I will literally screenshot this, find your instagram and send it to your mother. Because, what? What reaction do they expect? Like, honest to god, okay, if it's a guy that you've been talking to already and you like him and you know like the flirting is there and you know like the vibe is there, I think we don't mind it as much, right? But like from the, from the get go sending a dick picture. What's their intent? Like how do they want?
Speaker 1:us to react Like what do you want me to do with this? Admire it. Like, look, stare at this. Like I don't know what to do with this.
Speaker 2:I know. So I was talking to some guy today, precisely, and I just sent like a picture, because I'll take a picture and I'll send it to like five people at the same time Because I'm like let me, let you think that you're special. And he was like damn, you're so beautiful. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. And then I literally told him. I was like tell me something I don't know. Because, these guys, they fucking hate confidence. Okay, they say like oh, I want a confident woman.
Speaker 1:But as soon as they find one they're like oh, never mind.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because like oh, then you're conceited, you know. So then he's like I have a big wee-wee this fool called it a wee-wee, okay. And so I was like congratulations, question mark. And then he sends me a picture of him laying down with his gray sweatpants and you can see the outline of his dick and I'm not gonna lie, it was big.
Speaker 2:But I was like, literally like that meme that I like sending you the guy blinking, like okay, like what am I, what am I to do with this? And he's like you like what you see, babe? And I was like how am I supposed to react? I was like, literally, this is the biggest turnoff, for Like how do you want me to react? I asked him and he's like well, it's not even like a fully naked dick pic. And I was like no, but like what do you want me to say? Like, oh, my God, it's so big, I can't wait to sit on it. Like how do you want me to react? And then he's like I want your honest opinion is that you're for the streets acting like this. And he just like sent me a bunch of like uh, faces laughing. You know, it's just like I can't take you seriously honestly. And then he's like mi amor, relax, I'm like, I'm not your amorpho like blocked blocked already damn, this is the dating game, yeah and then like what were you telling me about the?
Speaker 1:if we had the confidence that these men have?
Speaker 2:right, we would fucking rule the world, dude this year, because they're not thinking this year audacity yeah, like, okay, so like for women, right, like we take a picture and we're like oh no, our belly looks, you know, a little puffed. These fools be posting shirtless pictures looking like Peter Griffin and I'm just like, how, looking like.
Speaker 1:Homer Simpson yes.
Speaker 2:With the three hairs too.
Speaker 1:Literally, because then they take off their hat.
Speaker 2:They take off their hat and you're like what the Hatfishing is the worst thing, Because you think they're hot and then they take off their hat and they're bald and you're like ew.
Speaker 1:Slightly remotely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, no, no, no. What about our infield reporter? Do you have anything to report?
Speaker 1:Our infield reporter, do you have anything to report? Our infield reporter is taken. She's off the streets. She found her mans on tinder and it's been going great, so we lost. She says it's been great, so we lost our infield reporter. We lost our infield reporter to the streets and to the dating app, I guess I know.
Speaker 2:Is it unrealistic to think that you can find something real on tinder? I wonder I don't think so.
Speaker 1:I mean, there have been some good, good candidates that I've I've had on there, but than that it's like meh.
Speaker 2:It's like the void from the Deadpool movie.
Speaker 1:It literally is that's where. That's where you end up. When you end up, uh, single again, oh damn literally, that doesn't give me hope.
Speaker 2:But girl, okay. So I'm gonna talk about someone I know. Okay, I'm gonna tell you her situation and you're gonna tell me what you would do. Okay. So this person I've known for a while and she has a man's. Okay, in usual fashion, maria fashion. You know how I'm the biggest fucking hater of all my friends boyfriends. I have never liked her man I don't know him but I know of him and I know what he's done and I just do not like him.
Speaker 2:So they met on one, like shit, you know, because she was like like I found my boyfriend had been texting other girls. Basically he had the apps, like being in a fully committed relationship, already living with each other. Um, they, um, they they're a couple, you know, like the next step is to get married, right. And so she found that he had the apps and so she was like what the fuck? Like, what the fuck is this? And I remember at the time she told me that basically they were sharing location and she's like, no, he's not gonna go and do anything because I have his location. And I was just like girl. But you know, she stayed and this is years ago, okay, and now they're eight years in.
Speaker 2:And the other day she came to my house because I knew, I knew something was up with her, because you know how, like, I'm a little witchy, but she didn't tell me nothing until like a couple of like maybe it had been two hours that she had been here and she was like Marielle and I was like what?
Speaker 2:And she started telling me that basically the same shit happened again, and the first time I remember the excuse that the guy gave was that that he was, he wanted to see other girls titties, like he was asking for nudes from other girls. And I was like what the fuck? You know and I get it because you know, when you're in a relationship and you're seeing the same dick over and over and over again, like you know, you can get a little tiring. So like I get that, but also there's free porn all over, right and also like why are you going behind your partners, back and I don't know, having having the apps again? You know, I don't know, I don't know. So the thing is he did it again and she's over here like but he hasn't seen anyone, like he hasn't really done anything with anyone.
Speaker 2:Like he told me the only thing he did was smoke, weed and like with some girl in his car. And I told her, like girl, like do you not know about car sex? Or I'm like what are we doing here? You know, and just to full disclosure, I have her permission to talk about this. And so I just I told her, I was like, are you going to wait? Are you going to wait another eight years? Like, you know, like, is he ever planning on asking you to marry him? Like what's the deal?
Speaker 2:And she's like but you know, like I just want to go out and I want to see if, um, like, if I get hit on. And I was like okay, what if you don't get hit on? Because you know that guys get intimidated by by girls, right? So, like, you and I have gone out multiple times together and we don't always get approached. And when we get approached it's usually with some stupid shit Like, oh, you guys look like bitches or some stupid shit, right? So I asked her, I was like what are you going to do If you don't get approached by a man when you go out? She's like well, I just want to see, because I know that I can pull bitches too and I'm like okay. But again my question is like what happens if you don't? Are you gonna stay as of right now? The answer is yes, right. So I'm, I'm like I don't know, like I wish I could. Just what do you think? What do?
Speaker 1:you think? Tell me what you think. Well, I feel like this fool has shown his true colors time and time right now and he's just gonna keep doing that. And, like you said, there's free porn. So if you wanted to look at someone else's titties quote-unquote yeah, there's a website for it. But the fact that you're going out of your way to entertain real life people that are on these apps, that are looking for an actual hookup or an actual like, meet and greet, and this fool's entertaining that idea Whether he goes through with it or not, I think it's still foul play and I think, as a girl, I understand her.
Speaker 1:She's invested eight years already and that's investing time and emotions. Now you can't get back. And if she goes out there and she doesn't get that confidence boost no one hits on her or whatever she's gonna stay because she's gonna be like well, at least he's there, whether he's looking at someone else, but at least he comes back to me and that just shows that you know she's not willing to let go of that Like. No, maybe it's just this one time and she's just gonna excuse everything for him. I don't know. I feel like she's still gonna stay and that's sad, but if I were her I would leave, and whether I don't get that confidence boost, I'll just figure out what I'm gonna do with my life, but I'm not gonna stay with someone who doesn't want to be with me right, and then like, and she's like he does so much for me and I was like, okay, what does he do?
Speaker 2:And she works from home right now, right, so I'm like what does he do? And she's like, well, you know, when I'm working, like, I ask him to get me a cup of water. He does. And I told her I was like, so like literally the bare minimum, like it's not like he's taking her on expensive trips, literally things that he, I'm like come on, and what I was gonna say is like I wish I could like open my girlfriend's eyes and be like, do you deserve better? Like look at, look at yourself, the way I look at you, type of thing, you know, because, like I know, we love our girlfriends and everything but and but sometimes, like people just don't know how to see themselves in a different light and we put ourselves down right, because I know that I used to do that with my ex. Like I would tell you, right, like, who am I gonna talk to if, like, I'm not talking to him because I work from home and I'm?
Speaker 2:lonely and you know and like on all the things, and look at me here like a year later I'm fucking thriving, you know, in my life and like I'm not saying my experience has to be everybody's experience, but I just I feel like I'm at such a point right now where, like, if you're gonna come at me with some bullshit like that, I'm just gonna be like fuck you, like I don't, I, I can't, I can't deal with it and I just that's when I stop talking to you, that's when I ghost you, that's when I I cut it off. I could cut off communication. You know, like that's the reason why I also haven't gone on any dates, because no guy has made an effort to like actually plan a date. You know it's always like oh well, what do you feel? Like doing no bitch, you're asking me, I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1:I don't want to plan it, you know.
Speaker 2:But yeah, and I think, like the scary work, the scary stories and of the dating world is what scare them from leaving their current relationships, because she's not the only one yeah, no, that is going through you know, so I recently met this really cute chica and she's telling me her story and you know she shared it with all of us.
Speaker 1:Um, she said that basically she was in a long relationship, about the same as your friends seven to eight years and this was like her first relationship ever OK, so high school sweethearts and whatnot and during those years they have been on and off three times and they have. They used to live together, but they have shared pets, right, she ended up keeping the pets and recently one of the pets had to be taken to the vet and she had communicated that with him but, mind you, prior to this she had been blocked. So she had to reach out to a family member of his, and you know, to get the message to him. But now she's talking to someone and it's been a year and some change that they've been talking and they've been going on trips together, vacations here and there and doing the fun stuff together and she's like so I don't know what to do. I'm like, well, what do you mean? You don't know what to do. Are you with the? Well, what do you mean? You don't know what to do? Are you with the new one? Are you considering going back to your ex, she's like no, I don't even want to talk to the ex like that because I feel like it's going to give him false hopes. And I don't want to give him false hopes, I'm happy in a new, whatever this is. And I was like well, first of all, we need to fix something. You need to establish with the new one. What are you? Because you don't want to invest another seven or eight years not knowing. And here you are, putting all your time and your energy onto something when you can be meeting either someone else, but definitely not going to your ex and definitely not staying with someone who doesn't even have the balls to like consider asking you to be his girlfriend.
Speaker 1:I think guys now or yeah, let's call it what it is Guys right now don't feel the need to ask girls to be their girlfriend. They feel like, just because we've hooked up, just because we've gone to three places together, we're going out, but we don't need to label it. Yeah, if the girl were to do something with another guy, she's a hoe, but if they were to do something else, well, we're not anything. And whose fault is that? Yeah, it's like covering their ass. Yeah, it's to cover their ass. And it's like like a double edged sword for the girls, because we're not gonna ask, because then asking is like, if we have to ask for it, then why am I here? You know, you know what I mean. Like I'm giving you all the clues that I'm in for it. I'm going out with you, I'm sleeping with you, I'm sharing things with you. So clearly I'm invested.
Speaker 1:But I'm not gonna ask you, I'm not gonna ask you to ask me, because that's like begging and we don't want to beg right. So that was my advice to her. Like first figure out where you stand with the new one and make it clear to the other one that no way in hell and also give yourself that respect in that place. And I'm like, and you're so pretty, I'm like you can be fetching like fucking three or four right now, that won't mind asking you to be their girlfriend, right?
Speaker 2:I don't know Dating culture has become. It's always been bad, but it's just gotten worse with time.
Speaker 2:I think like um guys, I feel like they want to be treated like princesses, so there's like their soft men era yeah, like we're over here like trying to be more feminine, because that's like every man podcast out there, right, like we want a girl who's feminine. Like we want a girl, it's like okay, but we cannot be feminine if you don't put us in that feminine energy right if you don't provide your masculine energy, if I have to feel like I'm masculine?
Speaker 2:then, never mind if I have to like plan a date, which is something so simple and like we're not we, we like us. We're not asking for like five-star restaurants. We're not asking you to take us to I don't know the fanciest restaurant in LA, you know. Like, just plan something that's fun. Like you know me, I'm literally happy fucking going to the arcade. Like. Those are the type of dates I like Like dinner and a movie. I don't consider that a date because you don't talk.
Speaker 2:Exactly you don't exactly to know each other, but like that's something that you do when you're already like I don't know three, four dates in right, but um, guys don't want to plan anything. Girl like today. Some guy told me like I want to see you and I was like when and he's like today. So I was like where no and I. I told him I'm recording today but maybe after we can have a drink or something. I even suggested that.
Speaker 2:Okay, I went as far as saying fucking that and he's like, like where though, and I was like I don't know, like, because he told me he lives in LA and I was like LA is pretty fucking big, like I don't know what your area is. I was like I know this place in here and in here and here, and then, when I had already, like, sent him suggestions, I was like what the fuck am?
Speaker 2:I yelp and then I was like but you know what, if I'm being asked out, I don't like planning anything out. I don't like being the one to like choose, because I already do that every day in my regular life. Like I'm a boss ass bitch, you know. Like you know that I have to take care of myself. I like kind of take care of my family. I have to like be at my job. My job is pretty demanding. So, like, when it comes to that, at least take that pressure off me. How do you want me to be my feminine if you're not even doing that? It just doesn't work out and that's why I'm like that's, that's where I tap out, that's what I'm saying, like I, if you can't do that, I I'm not gonna invest time in you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, on that, I mean on that I'm thinking, because I'm like I'm on that end. I'm thinking about my situation. Like in my relationship I don't plan things, thankfully, knock on wood. I was like thinking. I was like wait, do I do that? No, he thankfully does all that and he's busy and stressing the hell out, but he finds a way to plan something, even when I'm the one who's like chilling and I have all the spare time. I don't have to worry about that. He wants to hang out. He'll tell me where, when and you know, or we just do it, you know?
Speaker 2:yeah, like just get here and go do such and such thing, which you know. That's that's cute, that's that's how it should like. I'm not saying all the time, you know, because también like pamper your man, yeah, but I get what you mean, though.
Speaker 1:I get what you mean about that whole like feeling like you're fucking google or something like why am I giving you all the answers Like, put your effort, put your time, yeah. At that point it's like never mind, I don't want to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because with this guy we've talked enough for him to know, kind of like, what we're both into, you know.
Speaker 1:So I'm like yeah, and even like that as a guy, I'm trying to think as a guy Well, this girl's already mentioned, let's go get a drink. Let's go get a drink, okay. So obviously she wants a drink. Let me find a place that has good drinks and take her there. There you go, not hard, and I already told him where I live.
Speaker 2:Right, he knows my situation, he knows that I don't drive. I would have been willing to Uber halfway had he been like you know what, like at this time, or like whenever you're done recording da you know, like whatever. But not even that. And he messaged me and I haven't opened the message because I'm like I I already feel like it's gonna be something so disappointing yeah no, can you just open it for us, mariah, can you do this live?
Speaker 2:thank you okay, he messaged me three hours ago but see, I'm not even done recording, but it could have been 11, girl. I you know that when it, when it comes to getting ready Because he's not ugly, he has tattoos he's pretty cool. You know, I could tell you that I was already not liking him to the obsession point, but I was willing to stay up late, which that's saying a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because we don't give you that time if we're not interested.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. So I mean like around your area, that's not interested. Yeah, uh, okay. So I mean like around your area, that's what you said. Yeah, okay, hold on. So you see that I'm not lying. I'm gonna show you guys, this is what I said. I don't really like to plan anything like. I don't know how to explain it. I would much rather the guy have a plan than me planning anything, and then that was his response, I mean like around your area. I mean like okay, barbie, what the fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's stressful. Oh my God, I'd be like fuck this.
Speaker 2:So I'm like this is why.
Speaker 1:No, okay. And then what happens is now you're pissed, you don't go, you don't go, you don't go, you don't respond, you don't go. And then in a couple weeks the same shit's going to happen, right? And then you're going to be like your blunt self and you're going to tell them well, like every time we try to plan something, you really don't fall through or you don't have a set plan, so. And then they're going to be like oh well, you're the one who's always backing out. They try to like pin it on you and it's like no dude, like do you want to or not?
Speaker 2:Right, right and yeah, I just, I don't even know what to tell you about these men. And then I was talking to one of the one of the past one, my Christian great today, and I posted something on my Instagram story. I don't know if you saw it. I posted like it's a. What did he say? It's always how was work? Never deja el trabajo, yo te mantengo. Like never stop working and I'll take care of you. And so I put a meme that says when I have to go, when I have to get up to go to work and be an irresponsible adult, it says like ma, I don't want to go anymore. It's like a little cat crying, right. So he responded to my story and he's like stop, you're not willing to do it. And I was like not with anyone that has kids. And he's like everybody has kids, babe. And I was like not me okay, so that's another thing.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's start. Let's touch that subject. I'm glad you brought that subject up because a lot of my younger girls that listen, I've been saying like I'm talking to this guy, it's going great, but he has kids and I'm like, okay, so that's you right, that's you. For me it was like, well, let's start with one. I'm already in the mentality that I'm at. I'm not gonna find someone at my age that has the same things as me, like no kids, no baggage, no divorce, no exes, no, nothing, not going to find that If I put that expectation, like, let's say, I put that filter on my shit, my choices are very fucking limited.
Speaker 1:So I tell the girlies you know you're young, have fun with it and see where it goes. Now, if it gets serious, that's where you have have to ask yourself are you down to be a step mommy? Are you down for that shit? Are you down to meet like that kid, or are you down to be number two because you're not going to be number one? So when that time comes, then worry about it. Right now, no, and some of them have this like moral complexion, like no, I don't want to be that person and so I'm like I don't know, because for me it's like if you put that filter that you don't want some of the kids, I mean your choices are very limited because now these people will be having their kids at 18.
Speaker 2:So this is true, but like I think, like you're coming from a place where you're in it right now, like you're a stepmom now but even before your relationship.
Speaker 1:Even before, because, like, if I would have had that filter, I would have told my significant other right now no for the single fact that he has a kid. You see what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like if I had that mentality because for me, for me, okay, so, because of my last relationship, which I I have to keep talking about it because it's my last one okay, um, because of what happened, uh, like I told this guy today, because he's like, well, why not? You know, it's like, well, I'm sorry, but it may sound selfish, but I don't want to cancel plans because of your kid. I don't want to have to make plans because of the kid. I don't want to love another woman's child and then just for the kid to be taken away from me Because that's exactly what happened to me. So, me personally, I'm not willing to go through that again, because you know how much I love that kid and, yes, now I have a little more communication with him, thank God.
Speaker 2:But for almost a year I couldn't talk to him, I couldn't say hi to him, and it was fucking killing me. And so not only was I mourning a relationship, I was mourning what I learned, what it is to be a mom with him. Because, kid, I can know, you know, like I did act like his mom, I took care of him like he was my child and I love him like if he was mine. And that's not to say that I'm not gonna find someone else that has kids and I'm not gonna be able to provide that love them. But it's just like now.
Speaker 2:I'm tainted, you know, like now that relationship left me tainted and so I just I don't want to have to go through that again, and not only that. I, like I said, I don't want to, I don't want to come second to no one. Because if to me it's like the way I see it is like I'm loving, I'm caring, I take care of people, I'm all these things right, like I know that if I exist, someone like me exists and I understand that in the society that we're in, like a lot of people do have kids. But just because of that filter that you're talking about, I'm not going to. How do I say this without sounding fucked up? Like I'm not saying it?
Speaker 1:because of you, no, no, no, no say. Do I say this without sounding like like I'm not?
Speaker 2:saying it because, no, no, no, no say it because then I have something to say after that, but go for it. Yeah, but to me, like to me, if I go and like I think, like that, I'm like okay, so I'm settling for whatever is left over, and so I just I don't want that. You know, like I don't know it, it has to take like a really fucking amazing man for me to want that again. And it's like, as of right now, I know that I don't yeah, no.
Speaker 1:So now to agree with you, if my relationship knock on wood were not to work out, I would not date someone with kids. Me personally, I gave it a shot right now because I've never been in it right and I went in it open-minded. So what I'm trying to say to the girlies is like, give it a shot. You don't know till you try it. Now, if you try it and you don't like it and it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, don't do it again. But if you like it, you're like you know what, I don't mind it, like they'll be fine, like you know, it doesn't get to where you meet the kids and then that relationship fails. But you knew there was a kid and then you go into another one. Fine, but like, like me, I never.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I've been with someone that has kids, but I've never met the kids or I never, like you know, the kids were not the topic of the subject or whatever.
Speaker 1:But, um, right now, like I'm in a relationship and I'm very much in a relationship with a kid and I love the kid very much and I like it, you know.
Speaker 1:So what I mean is like if I would have closed, if I would, my mind would have been closed off to the idea, probably would have not experienced this. But, that being said, if I were in your shoes, I also would not go with someone that has a kid, because, you know, if anything this has taught me, that, like you said, it's not to sound fucked up, but you get the leftovers, and not in a fucked up way. For me it's like if we were to have kids. I'm sure his energy is not going to be the same as it was when you know his kid was born and you know this would be my first child and, as a woman, you know it's like oh, my god, you know, like, and if you're accepting of it, right, if you want it, you're like oh, this is like the highlight, like this is a life point, right, and it's like a kind of event yeah so, and they're this is their number two.
Speaker 1:It's like, yeah, been there, done that, yeah, and it's kind of one of the reasons why, like you know, with older men, I've dated older men and I've always like, well, I want to share experiences, like I want to travel with you, I want to go do this, I want to go do that. But with the older men it's like, well, they already been there, done that, and it's like I don't want to be with someone who's been there, done that. I want someone who wants to experience things with me girl.
Speaker 2:It's like, it's like that episode, well, the whole that movie, the movie of sex in the city, the first movie of sex in the city, when, when carrie's planning her big wedding and it's her wedding, it's her first wedding and then big is over here, like I've done this shit already, like do you think I want to fucking go through it again, like in public?
Speaker 2:and it's like I don't want to, I don't want to do that but see, for me it's like, well, if you love me enough, you're gonna do it, so yeah yeah, but like the way I think about it, and I would tell my ex all the time whenever he would ask me to have a kid with him, I'll be like you already got married, you already had a kid. Like what if we have another boy? Like your boy's always gonna come first, and my mom would tell me, like you need to find a man who doesn't have a past, because you're always gonna come second and mother knows best, I guess. But yeah, it's a. It's a really tricky situation.
Speaker 2:And like with with um, my crush on gray, the guy I was talking to today, like we made each other when we were both single, like if things would have been different, like we could have made a life for each other, you know, but it didn't happen that way. He went and had a kid with someone else. I was with my ex, like it's understandable, it's not like he was gonna sit around waiting for me forever, but now things have changed. Like I just can't see him like that, you know, and I also can't just go fuck around with him. Like I see him different. You know, before it was just, it was that for both of us. But um, yeah, it's, it's a.
Speaker 2:It's a tricky situation situation and then like situation and then for the girls, like I would say, also, look at what kind of dad like, if, okay, if you're gonna go and you're gonna date a guy with kids, look at what type of parent they are now, because if they are a disassociated that like that they're not, um, like a responsible, let's say that the yeah, like not not responsible, but like if the other parent, if the mom, for example right, because we're talking about guys with kids, if the mom is the one that's always like looking after the kid and like they have to be begging this kid to like pay child support or things like that. Because I have a friend also who she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend has like three kids. This guy literally works under the table just to not have to pay child support.
Speaker 2:And so I'm like, do you really want to have kids with this guy? Do you want to marry this guy? Do you want to be that? Because when you have kids with him, who's to say that he's not going to be the same with your kids, you know? So pay attention to those things how they talk about the baby mama, how they act towards the children, because also, if they prefer to cancel plans with their children for you, all the fucking time that tells you that the kids are not a priority. And when and if you guys break up once you have kids together, that's what's gonna happen and you're gonna be stuck being a single parent so food for thought on that end yeah so I don't know it's hard no I don't know I'm, I'm right now.
Speaker 1:I'm just thankful that I'm not in that situation. I was like because then, you know you, you fall in a loophole, right like you start overthinking and you're like what the hell, what if, what if? You're like no, no, no, no yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So for me, like that was the biggest lesson that I took from my ex, because, like I should have known, you know that like he wasn't even the one to pay for his kid's school, like his, his mom meaning the kid's grandma would be the one to pay for everything, because he would rather go blow up his money on fucking alcohol and drugs and whatnot.
Speaker 2:And so that was a future that I was gonna have with him, had I stayed but you didn't we're out of the void right in a different void in a different universe right different timeline but yeah, girl, going back to facebook dating, um, I posted a picture where I'm with my headphones and some guy's like, oh, like, what do you do? Do you sing? And I was like no, I have a podcast with my cousin. And he's like, oh well, I'm looking to get interviewed to read my poems. And I was like bitch, who the fuck told you that I wanted to interview you?
Speaker 1:Right, I wanted to hear your poems.
Speaker 2:Sorry, bro that I wanted to interview you. Right, I wanted to hear your poems. Sorry bro. Now dating sites are fucking, also networking events apparently.
Speaker 1:I heard a lot about that on Bumble, about Bumble like that a lot of people are there promoting themselves or something.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, I hate Bumble. I don't know. I don't like to make the first move. I will sometimes, but Bumble is like the girl has to talk first and then I feel, like all the people there are, like preppy. I don't know how to explain Bumble, but I don't like Bumble.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like the feedback that. I've gotten is just that it's like full of fake people or fake accounts, like too perfect, like too model-y-ish, and then they're just promoting to be models and stuff and their instagram.
Speaker 2:Like I don't plug my answer, god forbid. I'm gonna plug my instagram. Like my instagram is public, granted, but I am not gonna put my instagram on or like my snapchat or like the podcast on any other dating site, because there's also a lot of people that are promoting their only fans or, you know, like stuff like that. And I see guys like their bios like if you want me to buy pictures of you on snapchat, don't even like swipe, right? It's like okay, and I'm convinced that guys do not read your bio like it. You could literally put I'm a schizophrenic psycho. Or like I I killed my ex boyfriend on your bio and they'll still like you because they don't read it, dang I know, huh, they just swipe, swipe, swipe.
Speaker 1:They just look at, they just look at the visuals man can't live with them, can't live without them.
Speaker 2:Nah, you can't live without me. But that's the team. They're good ones. There's some good ones out there. You just have to fucking go through a lot of frogs, I guess.
Speaker 1:For real A lot of variants.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like Deadpool looking for the Wolverine, Mm-hmm. Any other stories before we go? Bip no.
Speaker 1:I think that was about it. We covered a lot Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:On that note.
Speaker 1:So next week this is gonna be interesting life hacks, so things that mariah and I have noticed online and things that were like oh hey, this is interesting, let's try it and we've tried it. Um, also like personal hygiene things, I guess you can say it's gonna be our beauty episode, but not really self-care there. There you go, that's the one.
Speaker 2:Emojis of stars in your heart, the visuals All right. Well, that's going to be a fun one. I think this one was surprisingly insightful. I think.
Speaker 1:Right yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, all right, babe, as always, a pleasure talking to you.
Speaker 1:Same babe and thank you guys for listening yeah, follow us on instagram please, at the bread the word cuss.
Speaker 2:I don't even know our username. I know, oh, it's at the chodes pod chodes with an o um. And then we do have a TikTok account, but it's literally the same thing as the Instagram. So, whatever you guys want to go and share us on your stories, participate, enter questions.
Speaker 1:Or tell other people to listen to us, even if they're just sleeping. Just play us in the background, motivate us to keep doing this, if you can.
Speaker 2:Oh, also, we have a youtube now like, so we're on youtube amazon music, apple podcast and spotify. So if you can like whoever listens like on a weekly basis, if you can go rate us on any of those platforms or all of them, if you can, uh, give us a five-star review, because we're five-star people, um, just leave feedback yeah, tell us when we can improve.
Speaker 1:Don't be shady. Don't say about our freaking posting our episodes.
Speaker 2:You guys need to motivate us, I know, you guys need to motivate us to post I know no girl, but it's because life has been getting hard lately, like me, with the commuting at work. Like you have roommates, I have a roommate. We're not used to that yeah and it's. It's hard to find the time for like because you have to literally shush everybody in the house like you cannot even breathe.
Speaker 1:Next to right now we can't even have a fan on like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're both literally dying because it's fucking hot, but we can't have the AC on, because then we're trying to make you guys comfortable by not listening to the zzzz of the air, you know.
Speaker 1:If Mariah could, she would hush the airplanes too.
Speaker 2:I would, but these bitches. I'm kind of sort of close to LAX, I guess, but it makes me feel at home, at home, meaning Guatemala. But all right, I love you babe, we love you guys. Thank you for listening, for staying with us for 21 episodes. Yay, thank you, guys all right, love you guys.
Speaker 1:Have a good day, good night, bye.
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