Trudge Report
Four friends, all in recovery and living in South Florida, come together to discuss a variety of topics aimed at enriching their lives and those of their listeners. With a focus on sports, recovery, trending cultural phenomena, and daily life tips, they hope to inspire their audience to live better lives. Drawing on their own experiences and camaraderie, they aim to be informative, inspiring, vulnerable, genuine, and humorous. They encourage listeners to join them in exploring new interests and perspectives, while also fostering stronger connections with their friends, families, and communities. Their shared journey through recovery bonds them together and forms the foundation of their friendship and the podcast's message of growth and improvement.
Trudge Report
Ep. 111 - Peace In The Pause: Plus Ohio's Big Bang
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Welcome back to this week's episode of Trudge Report. Thank you for supporting the show. We kick things off going around the horn. Greg shares a harrowing experience feeling the Earth shake due to a 6 ft wide, 45 ton meteor that broke up 30 miles above land and scattered bits and pieces all around Ohio and other parts of the Midwest and Northeast. We have some airplane travel talk as Corey is gearing up for a quick trip to Jersey, flying up and driving back. We have a few more housekeeping and current life updates before we dive into the recovery topic.
This week is all about prayer. Types of prayer, wrote prayers from our childhood, and the everyday functionality of prayer. We talk about the principle and practice of “pause when agitated or doubtful.” We discuss the difference between spiritual and religious prayer. We talk about how easy it is to let up on this spiritual way of life and what to do to get back on the beam.
"The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays."
— Søren Kierkegaard
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Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to another episode of Trudge Report. We are a recovery-based podcast. My name is Sean, and I am your host. I'm joined by my good friends and fellow Trudgers. Please remember to listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Videos will be posted each week so you can watch episodes on YouTube and Facebook. But as always, please be sure to download on your listening platforms. Remember to like and subscribe on all social media outlets with the handle at Trudge Report Pod. We are brought to you by Stella Mix Podcast Management and our producer and editor, Miss Janine Stella. Gentlemen, good evening. Happy recording day. Um, Danny P, I'll kick it over right over to you. I know you're uh you're in the throes of it right now. Has the game started? I don't know if the game has started. Uh I know at least two of us will be watching games live as we are recording this podcast. I have one up right now. Uh Danny P, what's going on in Husky Nation?
SPEAKER_02Just found out their big man's out, and Silas Demory's playing. So that's that's a big, that's huge, that's a huge win right there. But uh um on a personal note, we had a good week. Uh today was nuts, man. I had basketball semifinals for my league, and uh, we made the championship. And then we had our first uh softball practice get together with uh Maya and the girls, and it was like 78, it was almost 80 degrees today up here, and uh it was nice being on the field again and stuff. And um, yeah, I mean the week was pretty normal, man. Just March madness, man. I mean, all all there's been so many good games, and I'm so pumped and so into it. And UConn looked awful against Furman, but I just march March is the best time of year, man. And I'm just super grateful for like all this stuff, man. It's really just amazing to watch. But yeah, I mean, it's pretty docile week. We had a busy day today, and uh just ready for spring, man. I'm ready for spring to come in and you know, spring sports and all the all the weather, man. I'm ready for it.
SPEAKER_04Good stuff, man. Good stuff. Yeah, we'll have some we will have some extra NCAA Mars Madness content coming on the YouTube channel in the next day or two. So stay tuned because I know all you listeners are clamoring for that. Mr.
SPEAKER_01GS delete it after you put it up, unless Corey deletes it.
SPEAKER_04Uh Corey refuses to admit that um there's any other sport in existence besides New Jersey hockey or Philadelphia Flyers. Who's your team? Flyers. Oh, I thought you were from New I I thought you were from New actually from New Jersey, not Philadelphia. I think we've discussed that before.
SPEAKER_00Penns Grove, he's repping it right now.
SPEAKER_04Um, yeah, it's true. No, but Corey refuses to admit that there's anything besides hockey and NFL football. And he tries to talk to us during March Madness about whatever the Eagles may or may not be doing, and we've put a sanction on him that he's not allowed to talk football until at least. What do you guys think? I was gonna say July 1st. July might be too much. Whoa, July.
SPEAKER_01No, dude. We got the draft next month.
SPEAKER_02No, no, all right. I think we give him we give him a week at the draft and then until July.
SPEAKER_04I like that. I a weekend to draft. You get the no, you get the the draft weekend and the fur and the like to the Wednesday after, and then nothing until July 1st.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Cool. All right. I'm gonna I'm gonna try again to get into baseball this year. It's fun again. I do love it. Yeah, but dude, Sean, and I've tried it a couple years in a row. It's a long season cast. It's not it's a long season, but also like, okay, so I tune in as soon as the season starts, and like the first game I watch, there's like no home runs for the first fucking six innings, and it's like, oh my god, like this must be the worst game to watch.
SPEAKER_04I'll save you. I'll save you. You don't need to watch until after the all-star break. You can track the Phillies and just see how they're doing. You don't really need to start watching until honestly, like August, if I'm being honest.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm I I'm one of those people that I only really pay attention to my team, and that's it.
SPEAKER_04Like, because there's way too much going on in baseball to try and so I I will pay attention to scores, and I will definitely watch games or at least pieces of games from beginning to end. I listen to Buster O'Ne's podcast like a couple times a week. I get my so I get up to date on everything, you know, on ESPN, Major League Baseball podcast, baseball tonight, and I can stay up to date with everything. But once the all-star break hits and comes and goes, and you start having like like divisional races and all that stuff and everything, then it starts, then it starts heating up. And they're truly guys, we don't have to revisit. We do not need the listeners do not want us to revisit last year's World Series, but it was epic. And I'm not being facetious, like Dan, you remember like there were things that occurred in that World Series that have never occurred before, which kind of stinks because they it probably this year probably won't be the same, but still, it's baseball playoffs are unbelievable.
SPEAKER_02This year could live up to the hype if the the team that everyone doesn't want to make it doesn't make it. That's true. That would be true. That would be may I think that would make it all live. But I mean, that world series was uh one of the greatest things. It was crazy.
SPEAKER_01Who's that?
SPEAKER_02The Dodgers.
SPEAKER_00Uh yeah, the team that bought baseball.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And they just keep doing it. That's the weird thing about baseball. They just keep doing it. Yeah. They signed Kyle Tucker over the offseason. Yeah. Anyways, this is not a baseball podcast. Yeah, we're just gonna rant in. What's going on, Mr. Phillips?
SPEAKER_00Well, as uh I think maybe Corey might so eloquently put it, I'm still fucking alive. Um so for those for those of you who um aren't aren't familiar or don't stay up to date on the news. Um so uh St. Paddy's Day morning, Tuesday morning, I'm at work, and what uh sounds like a massive explosion goes on, it shook the whole building, right? And so like that we have like a an excavating company next door um that is like you know, they're they're constantly like loud, loud bangs, those big shoring boxes. I don't know if you guys are familiar with a shore shoring box is, but like those things will fall over, topple over, make huge booms. But this like this like reverberated for a good like six to seven seconds, and it was like it felt like a massive explosion. We were all just like looking at it, like, what is that? Something hit the building, uh you know, whatever. So then I start getting phone calls from my other branches, one of which is 45 miles to the west, the other one is 20 miles to the east. Did you guys just hear a huge explosion? And then I'm like, oh shit, like 9-11 is happening on all over again on St. Paddy's Day, and like with all this talk McDonald had last week about Iran and everything like that, I thought he might have spurred one on. Um, who knows? But uh yeah, and then I text I I well I the first thing when when the other branches called, so I called my fiance, she's like a good like 60 miles east of me where I'm at at work. I'm like, yo, uh are you guys do you guys hear that? And she's like, Yeah, I thought something hit the house. And I'm like, all right, so this is crazy. I texted Dan, who is what 170 miles south of me. Yeah, he's like, Yeah, we heard it down here. Yeah, I'm like, what the hell is going on, dude? So a six-foot-wide meteor came through the Earth's atmosphere, broke up right over, like is about uh 10 miles south of where my work is at. It broke up into pieces over the and when it was coming in, it like it created a sonic boom. This is what NASA said. They said uh the asteroid unleashed an energy of 250 tons of TNT when it fragmented over Valley City, which is in Medina County, Ohio. It's about 25 miles south of Cleveland, uh, resulting in a pressure wave which propagated to the ground, causing the sonic boom and explosive noises heard by many of the public. Um they there were reports of not only seeing this, and you can see video of this, it's pretty, pretty crazy. It's literally legit like a fireball across the sky. But um obviously all over northeast and central Ohio, uh as far south as Cincinnati, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, Delaware, Washington, DC, and Ontario, Canada all reported either hearing this boom or seeing the the meteor. But it was it was pretty wild, man.
SPEAKER_04It was like So did anybody get hurt or die?
SPEAKER_00No, no, no, nobody got hurt. Um it it fragmented so it was six feet wide, right? Probably broke off of an another asteroid six feet wide, and it fragmented into pieces. Uh, they're saying like um 12 to 14 miles uh above uh ground level. So thankfully, yeah, nobody was injured. But pretty wild, dude. And like you know, not to go all conspiracy theorist on it or whatever, but like NASA can tell us four days in advance. Oh, if you look up tonight, you'll see a meteor ship. Yeah, how do they not see this coming big dipper? And it's like, dude, this thing like made it into our atmosphere and it was 12 miles, which is nothing because how fast they they said this thing was going 40,000 miles an hour. So if it wouldn't have fragmented and that would have hit a six foot wide uh asteroid or meteor, whatever whatever you want to call it, like that's that's like catastrophic damage, depending on where it is.
SPEAKER_02You know, the asteroid the asteroid watcher at NASA is fired 100%.
SPEAKER_04He's getting he's been he's been getting high on the job, that's for sure. Yeah, yeah, he's getting high. That's for sure. Um wow, so well, glad everything's all right. Eventful weekend for you then, huh? Indeed. Indeed. So Corey. Are you upset because an asteroid didn't hit your area? Do you feel left out?
SPEAKER_01No. No, I don't, I don't I don't feel that way. Um I do think it was probably Iran. That was my first Iran.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that was my first thought.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Dude. I knew what did you guys talk about? I didn't listen to the episode a couple weeks ago.
SPEAKER_04What did you guys say about Iran? We didn't go too much into detail about it. I I did say that like I don't know how do I I want to articulate this quickly. I did pretty much say that no matter what current administration we have, whether it's the Trump administration, the Biden, Obama, Clinton, whoever, Bush, like after a certain point for all of us mere just like everyday humans over here, we have to just trust that there are no matter if like there's memes of President Biden falling all over himself, walking to the bathroom, we have to trust that there are very smart people in all of these administrations that literally spend 24 hours a day on intelligence and like safety and military stuff. That I trust I we have to at a certain point just like let go and just trust like the process as how cheesy that sounds, I get it, but like that we're gonna be okay, that that that whatever is going on and whatever action you know our president and administration is taking is for the safety of us. That's essentially what we said.
SPEAKER_01Alright. Well, let me just say that um you know I paid four dollars a gallon today. And uh, you know, that's we we're we all feel that. Um what what makes it hurt a little worse is reading every day that Iran has been totally obliterated, but we're not here.
SPEAKER_00Send them back to the stone age.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. It's like they're totally obliterated, they have nothing, we've taken away everything, uh they can't do anything more. And it's like, oh, that sounds great. So we're done in Iran? No, not yet. Yeah, we we can't get in.
SPEAKER_02We can't get into the most important body of water that that carries gas out, but we obliterated them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like dude, I I wasn't, you know, when this started a few weeks, and I'm not I obviously we're not a political podcast, but when this started a few weeks ago, I I kind of thought, well, all right, well, here we go. We'll take care of this pretty quickly, and life will get, you know, my my my gas bill will come back down. But now it's like, okay, are they obliterated or are they not obliterated, sir? So that's annoying.
SPEAKER_00I don't see us ever leaving the Middle East entirely. Oh, never mind. It's been going on my entire life since it's been a good one.
SPEAKER_01I don't even think we can. I really don't think we can. Hot hot take here. I don't even think we should necessarily. I think we probably should have stayed in in a large capacity than what we have been, honestly. But that's uh that's I'm probably not smart enough to actually make that call. But anyway.
SPEAKER_04How are you doing, Corey?
SPEAKER_01I just told you, I paid four dollars a gallon. I'm doing pretty shitty.
SPEAKER_04How's everything else in the rest of your life? We're gonna we're gonna veer away from from going down that that topic of discussion. Uh well. How's everything else in your life, Corey? Obliterated. Sorry. There you go, good. Well done. Well played.
SPEAKER_01I don't I don't know. I I gotta take a trip. Well, uh that that's what brought me to that whole thing is I gotta take a trip this week up to Philly for a brief um brief day or two. You can always get an EV.
SPEAKER_02Don't do it. Electric vehicle. Yeah, you get a Prius. Always get an electric vehicle. Corey looks Cory looks like a Prius guy, right? He's he could definitely be a Prius guy.
SPEAKER_04That's that was quite the insult. I was thinking the the Nis the Nissan Leaf.
SPEAKER_02Oh man, that's even worse, dude.
SPEAKER_00The Nissan Leaf don't put up with that, Corey. Corey, are you flying or are you driving? Don't fly. Don't fly for the love of God.
SPEAKER_01I am flying. That's the thing. That's what's pissing me off, dude. Don't do that. Yeah, don't do it, dude. And then and then so now we have ice that's gonna go do TSA's job. I'm like, you gotta be fucking kidding me right now.
SPEAKER_04Why why this is it might be streamlined, man. They might be I dude. Yeah. They show dude. They showed pictures of the airports the other day, like Denver airport specifically. Oh my god, how packable or what? Oh my I'm I might never fly again. No, I won't fly until they figure it out.
SPEAKER_00You guys are worrying.
SPEAKER_04I'm I'm not I drive, man. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But I got a uh I got a free at the almost perfect timing. I got a free two-month uh or three-month trial membership to clear. I do that expedite.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that that's fine, Greg. You'll get into your flight really easily. You'll just be stuck on the tarmac for 17 hours each way. That's one of those things. But hey, congratulations. You got there really quickly.
SPEAKER_02One of my biggest fears, man. That's such a fear of mine. No, don't put you on me, dude. Oh, dude.
SPEAKER_00When when you're on the plane and they won't let you get off, freaking stab everybody, dude.
SPEAKER_02That's the worst. The worst. When I even I hear those stories of those people like in New York, oh, we sat on the tarmac for nine hours. I was like, dude, I would buck out. I'll flip out, yeah. I would flip out, man.
SPEAKER_01There's no how do they not how do they not be plane at that point?
SPEAKER_02Because there's no gate. There's no gate they can get to because all the gates are eating up, like every five minutes they're switching out planes and stuff. Knock me the F out. Yeah, dude, put out the floating thing, I'll slide down. We'll be all right.
SPEAKER_04I've always I've always wanted to do that anyways. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's what gets John drinking again right there. I'm telling you, bro, after hour five.
SPEAKER_04Not even kidding. You're not kidding. Yeah, I do not do no. It smells on there, and then people start, then the heat, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_02No, then the yeah, the air cuts off. Oh yeah, forget it. Even de-icing, when they cut the air on de-icing, and I'm like, it's I start, I start like he started smelling the de-icer, and I'm like, oh, this is it.
SPEAKER_01Didn't Bill didn't we talk about on this podcast once?
SPEAKER_04I think it was Bill that said he'll just take his shoes off, right? Yeah, he's on he's pretty uncouth when it comes to that. Yeah, he tried to say, but don't worry, like they're new socks. I'm like, yeah, but your feet they ain't new feet boy. They ain't new socks. Well, you've been wearing those shoes for at least two hours, right?
SPEAKER_01At least, just from time you left the house to getting oh yeah, at least. Yes, I'll let you guys know the straight debacle I have on Thursday. I got my buddy Carmine taking me to the airport, so at least that'll be fun.
SPEAKER_04Oh boy. That'll be an adventure in and of itself. Good day. Alright, good stuff. Well, um I hope you have a safe trip, Corey. What are you going up there for?
SPEAKER_01I am my mother is moving down here. Bar mitzvah?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sweet, that's right. That's right. You're driving one way and driving back.
SPEAKER_04Driving back with with Gabby's sister, right? Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I love that.
SPEAKER_04And just to be clear, this is the sister that actually likes you.
SPEAKER_01They both like me.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay, good. Just wanted to make sure. Didn't know if one of them was still harboring a resentment from a few years ago, you know?
SPEAKER_01No, they they didn't both like me at one point, but we're I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_04I know they do. Well, safe travels, my friend. When are you leaving? Thursday? First off. What? Leaving Thursday? Thursday morning. Okay. Good stuff. Um, guys, I got a big announcement. I shared it with you guys pre-pod, but I'll share it on the pod. Uh little baby Sean got his helmet off. Big deal. Big deal around here. Yeah. Big deal. Um we didn't think he would. He had an appointment. They said six to ten weeks. Well, this past Wednesday was either six or seven weeks, and we had an appointment. And I was sure for sure prepared for them to be like, oh, okay, well, like two more weeks, come back, and we'll see how it is then. It looks good, but because we kept getting updates, like, oh, it looks good, it looks better. And and sure enough, Catherine took him and they said, No more helmet, take it off. Don't ever, she literally said, Don't ever put it back on him again because it could overcorrect the problem. He it's perfect, it looks good. He's in the clear. So that was a huge day. I like it, it's it's an emotion, it's emotional. Like it's and I'm not trying to be cheesy, but it it really is. And he was fine with it. He was banging his head around, loving life. He didn't care, but it was uh uh it was a huge thing. So big deal. Not quite as big as as Greg's uh, you know, the aliens landing in Ohio announcement, but uh pretty big deal around here. Other than that, life is good.
SPEAKER_00So did he have to wear it like constantly like 23 hours a day, 23 hours a day.
SPEAKER_04We were able to take it off like very quickly during the day for like diaper changes or like if he woke up from a nap and maybe a little sweaty, we could take it off, wipe it out, you know, give him like five seconds without it, but legitimately like 23 hours a day. But he got used to it. He was a trippy man, he got used to it. But now he like it's funny because like now he's just I gotta like watch him because he doesn't have a helmet before he was just banging around in the crib and rolling around on the floor and uh you know all that stuff. And um, like he's got this this chair he sits in, it's like in it inside of a bassinet, and I can like roll him around in it, and he got all his toys, he loves it. He can sit up straight, it supports his back from like the waist up. He loves it. But if he leans back, there's like a wooden railing. Oh, so he smashed it. Oh man, I noticed like the other day, like if I'm messing with him, he'll be like, ah, and he'll be playing with me and banging his head. So I had to put like a blanket back there to cushion it. But yeah, good stuff. We're happy around here.
SPEAKER_02Congrats, man.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's awesome. It was good. So uh what else, guys? Anything else? Any other housekeeping tips, news, notes, anything we need to to discuss before we get into it?
unknownNo, good to go.
SPEAKER_04Um, as I said before, we will have some extra NCAA content coming. Been some unbelievable, unbelievable games. If I start talking about any of them now, we probably won't stop, so we just won't. We'll stop, we'll figure it out. Um Corey will just bug out. All right, so tonight, yeah. He'll he'll get there one day, Dan. I'm I'm I'm confident. Oh no, wait, that's yeah, I have faith in us. It's so much fun, bro. Um okay, so tonight we are talking about prayer, specifically prayer. Last week we talked about meditation specifically, and it wasn't um, it didn't start out at just to do that. We were gonna lump both of these in together, but it just kind of happened that way. And at a certain point, I realized like it's perfect. We'll split them up into two podcasts, two different subject matters. Well, I'm gonna talk about prayer tonight, specifically, purposeful prayer, something called scientific prayer, uh, and and just and that the whole, you know, everything that that encompasses. So I do have a note. Like last week we talked in this recovery process, it's both prayer and meditation. It's not one or the other. And and I say that, like we all know that in our recovery work, in our literature, it talks about do it talks about how each prayer and meditation are very powerful tools in and of themselves. But when combined together, I think the book or it quotes it forms an unshakable foundation for life. So, like, I want some of that, right? That's definitely something that I wanted when I got here, even if I couldn't articulate that. So I want to keep that in mind. Um, because there's plenty of people we hear it all the time, people that do one and not the other. Usually it's like, oh, I pray all the time, but I don't meditate. I can't stress enough to people listening and to people that may be just starting out or struggling. Like, like it is it is both prayer and meditation, and that is. Is uh a huge thing. So, Greg, how do we differentiate between spiritual and religious? I want to start there. Talk about the difference between both. Is there a difference? And and is the recovery work we do, is it spiritual or is it religious? How does that work?
SPEAKER_00Um, for me it is. It's not there, isn't a different per se path uh for a lot of people that I have met. A lot of people are those are one and the same. For me, it was we've talked many, many times on here before about how some of us had uh either an aversion to organized religion or um you know accepting God into our lives or whatever coming into this program. Some of us didn't. Um, you know, I think it's uniquely individual kind of thing. Um, but for me, I think that um while I do at times, uh, you know, we just went uh last week to to church, we didn't go this week. Um, and I do enjoy um going. I it it's kind of like the same thing when I leave one of our recovery groups. I don't ever leave feeling worse than I did when I go in. So I I know that that that's working for me. Um, but I I choose to um practice a more spiritual path, I would say. And and certainly that that is one where I'm not necessarily going by a dictation that's set forth to me. I'm not going by a list of rules that's that's set forth to me. It's it really is like a relationship that I'm developing with a God of my understanding. Um, and for me, that's that's what works. I don't try to muddy it up. I I also don't sit here and try to um say, well, oh, I think that that's too religious, so I'm not gonna do it. I think that that's too spiritual, I'm not gonna do it. I mean, maybe I'm not out here shoving crystals up my butt or anything like that, but um you're missing out.
SPEAKER_01Obnocously, I'll try it.
SPEAKER_00But um Janine's veterinarian tried it apparently. Get the veterinarian on the horn. Um, but I I think that the the two things can be one and the same, and they can be completely separate, and you can still work a program um of recovery and and develop a relationship with God and continue to strengthen your own bond with your creator and with the people around you um without muddying it up too much. So that's where I stand on it.
SPEAKER_04Good stuff. Corey, what do you think? Is there a difference? Should there be a difference?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I yeah, I mean our way of life that we all bought into uh is a spiritual way of life. There there's no religious connotation with it. And that was extremely attractive to me being somebody who I wasn't like violently defiant against religion by any means, but I didn't I didn't know if I could sink my teeth into anything organized. Or like especially like I mean the the background you come from, Sean, like with all the traditions and all that stuff that I'm more familiar with now having a um a Catholic in-law family. You know what I mean? Like there's you know, I I just I don't know anything about it and uh well I d I I do to some degree now, but I didn't and um at the time I certainly wasn't gonna buy into that kind of stuff. Um but yeah, same thing. I mean I like my family attends church most Sundays and I st like even today I still don't know where I stand with what they're like really getting at. Meaning like the actual like biblical stories and stuff like that, like but um our literature says uh make use of what religious people have to offer and I have found that most of the same things that we discuss in recovery uh well shares a foundation with with religion, you know what I mean? Um, in a lot of ways. So but yeah, I I d big difference and I I personally think that most newcomers uh in recovery seem to I I think they seem to be more attracted to a spiritual way of life rather than a religious way of life.
SPEAKER_03Very good Dan, what about you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean uh just like Corey was saying, I was like, uh it's more attractive to a newcomer because there's no it's not rule rule based. You know, like in religions, you have this thing that's laid out and you have to do things a certain way, you know. Like I grew up Catholic and all that stuff, and you're doing it towards basically like an organization, you know, where to me, like me personally, like spirituality is like my individual traveling path, you know, with my higher power that I call God, you know. So like if you have all these rules and you have to go to this certain place and stuff like that, that's why like Corey was just like I feel like it's a total turn off to the newcomer that I have to do this thing. It's like you have to come to these meetings, you have to do this, and you have to do that. But it's all based in the same, you know, it's like praying, you know, praying's obviously based in religion and also in a spiritual way of life, you know. But I feel like it's just uh the the path that you're on is not uh condensed into one thing and one organization and one way to do stuff where spirituality encompasses it all, you know, every facet of life and who you are as a person and all these other things that I don't think all religions cover. You know what I mean? That's to me personally, that's what it means.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So leading me into the question of prayer, right? There are many different forms of prayer and different um sectarian religions and different ways of of belief. Uh, theological ways and non-theological ways have different ways to pray. One of the things we are taught is to pause when agitated or doubtful, right? Um, in our daily life. And I would think we could all agree that that is probably one of the biggest tools or one of the greatest tools that we have all received, right? Is learning. Uh, and it's not something you just like, oh, I just flipped this switch and now I can pause whenever I'm agitated and doubtful and go right into prayer. It is definitely something that we banged our head against for a while in earlier on in recovery. Maybe we still do sometimes, but that um kind of starts to intuitively come into our daily practice the longer we stay sober and the more we practice this spiritual way of life. Um, so uh Dan, I'll kick it right back to you. What does that look like for you? Pausing when agitated, maybe give us an example of something recent, or just what does that look like for you in your daily life?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, it's still not as much as when I first got sober, but like now, you know, serenity prayer, man. I would talk about like prayers that we use and stuff like that. But really, I mean, for me, it's just about uh walking and breathing, you know, that really like if I'm on a job site or stuff, you know, like I'm out and about, like that's my biggest go-to is that like before I act, you know, and react, that I have to pause. And that's like it's just you know, like you said, it had to be taught. It was not something that was instinctual that I was just doing, you know, because I always wanted to do what Dan wanted to do, selfish self-seeking in every every uh facet of life, you know. So learning that to be like, all right, let's pause, you know, like it's like reading a text, man. You know what I mean? I could reading a certain way and stuff like that. It's like, you know, I need to pause and see the situation before it is. I don't have to respond to this right now. Oh man, but um, yeah, I mean, it's just it's really because like I'll see something in a way that someone's not even like pissing me off. And I use other people all the time. You know, I'll text my friend, hey, so-and-so said this, I'll call my other friend, hey, you know what I mean. This person said this. I just want to make sure, you know, things what's going on. Phone calls and talking to people is huge, you know. But if it's like something small, I'll just breathe and that's like pausing for the moment. And you know, whether it's the serenity prayer, you know, that'd be my always daytime go-to prayer, you know, to pause and really uh, you know, encapsulate things into what is really happening. But um, yeah, calling people and using people, you know what I mean. We got it takes a village, you know. That's uh a huge in my life.
SPEAKER_04Very good. Corey, what about you? Pausing when agitated or doubtful. Yeah. Yeah, Sean. Yeah. I'm laughing. I'm over here smirking. Just you're pausing right now. He's pausing. He's pausing right now.
SPEAKER_01Why are you laughing?
SPEAKER_04Just because I just knew you were gonna have something smart, Alecky, to say or or do or act.
SPEAKER_01No. Um, you know what though? I do have so I have a speaking of religion, I have a Bible app on my phone that again I sometimes pay attention to and I sometimes don't, as far as their daily readings and stuff. Um, I like to mix it up, but anyway, on the app it has a prayer reminder. So like it'll remind me to pray at a certain time that I set. And I set it for 11 30 a.m. every day because I figured if my day is gonna go to shit, it probably already is by 11 30. So that reminds me to pause um if need be. And it doesn't happen every day. Like, I don't sometimes I look at the reminder and I go, whatever, and I continue my work or whatever. But sometimes if I'm having a shitty day, it does remind me to do a little prayer in the middle of the day and stuff. But um, you know, I don't know. I we talk about things on this podcast so often that I when we're in the middle of talking about it, I think I need to get better at that. Um and I need to pay more attention to to saying a prayer when I'm agitated, doubtful, when I'm pissed off, and whatever. Um I can say that going back to last week when I'm meditating consistently, when I'm actually putting some effort into my prayer life, that I remember to pause and say a prayer when need be. Um typically when I'm not uh into my prayer life, I will not remember to do those things. I will just kind of go through the day with the blinders on and just live in pure hell. So um that's it.
SPEAKER_04What about you, Greg?
SPEAKER_00Um pausing when agitated or doubtful um takes me out of the situation, right? Um because me on my own, uh especially when I'm agitated, or especially when like I know I'm right and I know that you're wrong, right? And then and then I and I'm I'm like relentless with it. That's that is me at at my sometimes most self-centered, my most egotistical, you know. So when I can practice that, where okay, time to pause, time to take a step back, time time to sometimes remove myself from the room or situation entirely and let God back in, you know. Um, and it's funny, like Corey mentioned, like the Bible app, and I'm I'm not like I'm not the a wealth of knowledge on on a lot of uh Bible verses, but I certainly do have my favorites, and I always kind of go back to like in situations like this, and certainly not every time because I'm not perfect, but the beatitudes uh from from um the Sermon on the Mount and the Book of Matthew are like, you know, like blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit uh the the kingdom of uh or they shall inherit the earth, you know. Um what is all blessed are the merciful for thou though receive mercy, blessed are the peacemakers. It's like those are all all that kind of stuff, you know, gentleness, self-control, compassion for other people, reconciliation, those kind of things um are all what we should be striving towards, anyways, right? So yeah, for me, um trying to get centered back into that um is is huge, you know. And and yeah, sometimes will I if I have a situation that's really bothering me, I usually reach out to the one of the three you guys, you know, or or another close friend about it. But but most of the time, not that you find gentlemen aren't um complete pillars of your community and uh fine upstanding men, but most of the time I don't need that, right? Because I have a relationship with God, you know, and and most of the time that course is righted.
SPEAKER_04So that that's a good point. I want to just pause on that for a second, Greg. Pause uh when I'm not agitated or doubtful, but I think that's good because we hear in general recovery talk all the time. We should reach out to your support group and call five alcoholics a day, and you know, call you know, their mentor says, Call me when your ass has fallen off, or do this or do that. And like those are all fine. I really truly mean that. Like getting into good habits early in recovery about like calling another, that's all good and well. But the whole idea, the whole thing we're getting at is to become God sufficient and not human sufficient. And unfortunately, like you just kind of made a joke, like like yeah, we are all three pillars of our communities, and we could probably give you solid advice or give anybody solid advice. Hell, I give I can't give Corey advice all the time, and he never listens to it. But I listen to it, it just doesn't work. Ah okay, that's the world. You know, you just no, you just don't practice it. But the whole idea is getting us off of human power and onto God's power, right? So it's like I can remember when when Papa Ron used to, I'd come to him with something and he'd like tell me, Go pray about it, go meditate for 20 minutes or whatever. He'd send me on like a spiritual exercise, and then he said, And talk to me later, or call me tomorrow, or or talk to me at dinner time because I lived with him for a while, whatever the case may be. And I I can't, not every time, but probably at least 80, 85% of the time when I would do that and listen to him and actually go practice some quiet time and some prayer, I would come to the right answer, or I would come to a solution, or I could at the very least, and this I found out later was his whole idea. I would come back to him for a conversation with a couple of solutions along with it, right? So it wasn't just like me vomiting my problem and him telling me what to do, because I think we we can sometimes very valiantly and with good intentions, we can give people the answers or what we think are the answers rather than pointing them in the direction of where to go find the answers, right? So I think that's a really important thing. Um, what are some of our our Corey? What are some of your favorite prayers? Favorite ones off the top of your head. What do you what do you practice the most? What do you love the most? Give me a couple of them.
SPEAKER_01My God, dude. I I don't know if like just in general, just whatever, yeah.
SPEAKER_04What do you use? Like let's better question, what prayers do you use most often, or are you just one of those you're just having a conversation with God?
SPEAKER_01I l I like those the best, but I can't say that that happens too often. I think most of the time my prayers are kind of similar. And it goes back to a couple prayers that we all learned in our journey through this way of life. Um But dude, it's praying for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry it out. That's that's been a consistent prayer. Like just that has been literally a prayer for me many times. Um take away these difficulties, that kind of stuff, you know? Um But I always I tend to say often, even in the same prayer, that I will be done. Um because it's probably just because it's easy to remember and it's and it's ultimately what every prayer should amount to anyway, right? Like I can pray my ass off and I can make it a five minute long prayer, but what it comes down to is I need to get right with what God's will is, right? That's the only thing that's gonna really matter, I think. Um and I will say that something that's really important to me is um you know, in recovery we we get the privilege to either take meetings in the treatment centers or um or be or maybe we're asked to speak at a treatment center or maybe a meeting or something like that. Whenever whenever given the opportunity to share um you know the message of recovery, I like to say a prayer before those engagements and I often say something like uh God replace my words with your words, use me as a channel, speak through me, that kind of stuff, you know. Um because I really, really I I'm sure a fair amount of my personality shows in in those moments anyway. And I think it's usually a good thing to some degree, but um maybe it I there have been times that it was a bad thing. But ultimately what I'm hoping for in those in those moments and those opportunities is that um quite literally what I pray for is that God is going to have me say something that somebody in the room needs to hear. Or and you know, I don't because I mean I don't know if you guys would feel the same way, but like I I at times remember things that somebody said that I didn't think was very significant at the time. But like years later, I'm like, oh yeah, you know, and it it you know takes me back. And so you never know like the seeds you plant, and I think that's all God, that's all attributed to God. So yeah, um I hope that those things are happening, and that's what I pray for.
SPEAKER_04Danny, what about you? Do you have some favorite prayers or or certain ways you pray that are important to you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, I always uh every time I pray, it's uh it was during the day, it's usually serenity prayer, and then when I pray morning and night is always our father and Hail Mary. That's always a you know, an end or a start, you know, whatever way it is. The Hail Mary is a kick-ass prayer. Uh dude, I it's kick-ass prayer. Yeah, man, it is. And it's just like routine, you know what I mean? Like we're the same, you know, routine stuff. And then I always just pray for guidance, man, and guidance and patience. You know, those are my like two biggest things is uh is guidance to be uh a selfless person, you know, guidance, you know, if there's something that's going on in life, you know, guidance to uh be a be a servant of God, you know, and just guidance for these things, you know. It's never uh asking for tangible things because as we know, it's just like you know, uh I'm being put in a position to be helpful to other people, you know what I mean. I can't ask for things and be selfish with these things, you know. But uh yeah, I mean I I it's always routine, I'm very routine with our Father and the Hail Mary, and then it's always just for guidance, you know, direct me on this day, you know, allow me to be helpful to other people.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Greg, what about you? Do you have some go-tos?
SPEAKER_00Um, well, I I will say like the Serenity Prayer, the Lord's Prayer, uh, the prayer found on page 63 of our literature. Um, that's quite often used, those prayers sick man prayer. Um, you know, were were big for me on it early on, you know, when I needed to just I needed something that I could recite to kind of get into the whole motion of of praying and and understanding what it was. Now, I mean those prayers are still very helpful. Um, you know, I I do love um you know the Saint Francis prayer, yeah. Uh Christ be with me, which is like the the prayer of Saint Patrick, is is a a good one. The 23rd Psalm um is is pretty good as well, and one that I really like, um, although I don't know it by heart by any means. Um, but I I'll I'll sit there and I'll read it during a quiet uh moment. Is uh I and I don't even know if it's so much a prayer. To me, it is. It's it's it's a a poem, a prose, whatever you want to call it, but it's uh called I Stand by the Door, I Stand At the Door by uh Sam Schumacher, who was part of the Oxford group. Yeah, yeah. I I love that. It's yeah, it's perfect for, you know, kind of like Dan said, is like, you know, let me remove selfless uh or self selfishness uh and let it um be replaced with selflessness and um you know prayers for patience and things like that, you know. Um that that reading encompasses all that for me.
SPEAKER_04So I uh I love the Saint Francis prayer, prayer prayer for peace. We've we've talked about it on this podcast uh before. Um Hail Mary, same thing, Dan. Like like the you know, I was like similar to you, raised Catholic and have no qualms about how I was raised, but a lot of those prayers, the glory be, glory be to the Father, you know, to the Son, to the Holy Spirit. Some of those are are very those are I find here's the thing. I don't practice Catholicism anymore, and that's a choice, and I'm totally at peace with that choice. Sorry, mom. Um, but I am I find so much comfort in those childhood prayers that I learned, like true comfort. And I think that isn't that like, isn't that kind of the idea? Like, we're finding comfort and peace in these prayers, and I say them with conviction and I know. That God's listening and I know that God hears them and they mean something to me. There's there's substance that they have there. And you know, Emmett Fox talks about it, like talking about he's using the analogy, like the cage bird sings, and like let us not in our prayer life become like the cage bird who just repeats repetition and repetition and repetition, and and we what we have to do is it's okay to, but but he says it's okay to say the same rote prayers as long as we stuff them with fresh feeling and new resolve on a daily basis. And I think that's the most important thing. So like when I pray, even if I'm saying a rote prayer, a prayer from my childhood, a prayer from our literature, which Greg, you referenced a page. There's a a handful of other ones in our in our wonderful literature that we have that I still say today, but like it's it's about that, like taking that deep breath for me, getting on my knees, being in that in that form of submission, and like really just taking a moment and saying the prayer with meaning and conviction and purpose. And I think, and it's really easy to do, it's not hard to do that. Um, but I think that's so important rather than just like all right, quick, you know, going off. And then, yes, I like I absolutely have my time where um I have conversations with God. Honestly, like my morning prayer or my pause when agitated prayer or whenever I'm doing that, or my nighttime prayer, those usually are rote prayers, those usually are prayers that I I've learned or formulated or whatever. My conversations with God are usually throughout the day, right? Those are the times when I a rough situation, I'll take a moment, I alright, God, I need you just need your guidance, need your love here, or like Corey, like you talked about before speaking engagement, or really before any important event, whether I'm by myself, with my wife, the kids, whatever, you know, we'll we'll sit and say a prayer, you know, mealtime prayers, all that stuff. So um do you guys remember the Desodorada? Do you guys remember? We've talked about that. It's it's more of a uh a prose poem. Um, but I just want to read it real quick. It's by a guy named Max uh Erman, I think I'm gonna say it right. Um, I remember learning about this at that early morning meeting that we've all uh attended uh many times. But it says, go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant. They too have their story. Corey, that means I gotta listen to you. Um I'm sorry, that was mean. I love you. Avoid loud and aggressive persons. Sorry, Corey, we can't be friends anymore. No, I'm just kidding. Uh avoid loud and aggressive persons. They are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for there will for always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble. It is the it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not bind let this not blind you to what virtue there is. Many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism, not heroin. Uh be yourself, especially do not feign affection, neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment is it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, but do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. Like that dude knew what he was talking about. You know, you guys don't remember that? You guys never heard that? No, and I'm not loud. I know. I'm just aggressive. I I remember being introduced to that long, long time ago, and I haven't thought about it in probably well over a decade, and this conversation just spawned that. So that leads me to my next thing two-way prayer, right? This idea of writing down our thoughts during quiet time. Have any of you ever tried it? I know I I say that in jest because I know we probably all have on some level. I don't think I have. You don't you never done it?
SPEAKER_01Wrote that no, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's I don't I don't do it regularly. My wife does it a lot. That's her thing. She likes to like, and it's a form of journaling, I guess, but she likes to write down her her thoughts and when she's meditating and praying. And um, it was introduced to me in the back to basic stuff we used to do early on and stuff like that, the Wally P stuff. But um, Greg, have you ever tried it? Anything too two-way prayer, writing down your thoughts during quiet time or whatever.
SPEAKER_00Only when I'm trying to channel the dead.
SPEAKER_04Ah. So how does that work?
SPEAKER_00That's that spirit writing, boy. Um, but no, I uh I have not. I uh you know, I've journaled a little bit afterwards, like you know, certainly because there I was going through a time um two where I was doing it with some guys that I'm uh mentored, where we would just kind of um instead of full-on journaling, uh they would have like a dry erase board and we would do like a nightly inventory. And so I would participate and practice that with them. And you know, after periods of meditation and stuff like that, certainly um, you know, jotting some stuff down for sure, something that that came to me or whatever. Um I have done that, but I I don't uh have like a daily practice or even a remotely daily practice with it, um, for sure.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I don't I don't either. I I I have tried it. It is it is it is a cool thing to do. Um, but I I I don't know. I've always been okay at organizing my thoughts when it comes to prayer meditation, you know. I I feel like I'm okay with that.
SPEAKER_01Um last time I journaled, it was used against me in the court of law. So I'm not doing that shit.
SPEAKER_02Is that a factual statement?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we can get into that offline.
SPEAKER_04Tell us real quick about that, Corey.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, a little yeah, I went a little previously. It's just alright. Um the vague story is a lawyer approached me trying to convince me to go to rehab because I had admitted in my journal that I had relapsed. And I mean any fucking idiot would know I said, okay, I haven't journaled in like three months. So guess what? I've been clean for three months. That was a lie. But he didn't know that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like your evidence.
SPEAKER_01Why does your lawyer have your journal? Not my lawyer, somebody else's lawyer. Why why do they have your That's why I said I'm keeping it vague. Uh um But yeah, it got it got passed on to a lawyer, and they tried to convince me to go to rehab because they had like evidence that I was using or whatever, and I'm like, well, first off, I'm a grown fucking 18-year-old. I'll use whatever the hell I'm a grown 18-year-old.
SPEAKER_04That's a funny statement.
SPEAKER_01So that didn't work. I felt smarter than a lawyer that day.
SPEAKER_04So the one and only time.
SPEAKER_01That was the only time.
SPEAKER_04Um Corey, what happens when you stop practicing this part of your recovery program? What happens when your morning routine is non-existent?
SPEAKER_01I feel like you're singling me out here.
SPEAKER_04I'm just going around the horn, baby. People die.
SPEAKER_01People die. I die. I died.
SPEAKER_04Iced tea jugs get chucked across the room.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that was a good time. Um yeah, the noise, dude. We've talked I mean right, we we made the whole uh we talked a few weeks ago about breathing fresh air or whatever, right? I I I called it when when the noise dies down in your head because I I mean I think I said all this in the past few weeks, but it's relevant. I can get so negative I can get so negative on my on myself about everything, I can s I can quite literally tell myself lies. And uh and then and and I can get so negative about that, I I'll even think like, hey, you have ten years sober, you shouldn't be thinking like this. This is terrible. You must suck. Like it kind of gets that bad sometimes, and uh yeah, I think I think that's probably not unlike any person, I I think, you know what I mean? Um but especially with the alcoholic or the drug addict who's like plagued by misery and depression, you know what I mean? Um outside of this way of life, I think. I I think it comes back tenfold for us, you know what I mean? And um yeah, I can start to buy into that stuff. I can buy into like you're not that good of a guitarist, Corey. Like I I dude, I got pissed off the other night. I was trying to record something here in my in my room and I just couldn't get a sound that I wanted, and I fucking put my guitar down and said, I suck at this, I should stop trying. You know what I mean? Like that's those kind of thoughts can become very prevalent in my life. Intrusive. Yeah, intrusive, yeah. And uh you know, it's not perfect when I have a good prayer life and meditation life, but it's so much better. And I actually feel useful, I feel like I have a purpose, you know, that stuff. Like that's what's important to me is having that purpose and you want to be useful, you want to be helpful to be you want to ha you want to think you have value in people's lives, and I know I do, but like um but when when the prayer life slips away, it's easier to tell myself that that I that I not as much, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, Dan, how do you start again after a period of neglecting prayer and meditation? But like, so so on toppling on Corey's correction, you know, question when we stop practicing this part, he depicted kind of what happens in our life. How do we start again? Because that sometimes can be the hardest thing. Um, actually, you know what? Uh we'll go to Greg with that question because I think Danny froze. Um, how do you start again? No, he nodded out. Yeah, he might have nodded out too.
unknownThat might be it.
SPEAKER_04He's he's meditating. Um, Danny, we'll come back to you, buddy. How do you start again after a period of neglecting prayer meditation? Like if you haven't been doing it for a while, we've all had those periods in our recovery. What's the key? How do you do it? What's little tips and tricks for that?
SPEAKER_00Well, I think um, you know, kind of like Corey was saying, is is like the negative, the negative stuff that arises that that generally arises um from a couple missed instances, right? Uh, you know, I I miss a day or two here, I miss a little stretch there, and then yeah, the misery and the and the negative self-talk and all the the kind of stuff that comes uh along with that. But when I stop for a good chunk of time, I think the the it does become more difficult to get it. Doesn't become difficult to to necessarily put in the action, like you can sit here and tell yourself, okay, let's put in the action. We're gonna get on our knees and we're gonna pray, and and we're just and we'll start off, we'll we'll go back to basics like we we did when we first started, and we'll recite a couple prayers, and then we'll throw on a guided meditation and we'll call it a day. But uh the we we all know, and and to somebody that doesn't practice this kind of stuff, uh you know, maybe maybe this is a little vague, but we all know like what it feels like when we're faking it and when we're not, and or when we're uh um really uh when we really have that connection or when we don't, right, you know, and I think that um that's that's the big thing, and that's why it is tough to get back into it. Um not saying that I don't think God turns his back on any of us, I don't think he shuts us out from the limelight. I think that the problem is at least I'll speak for myself, I get smart, right? I get smart and I start to think that I got this handled all on my own, all over again. And that was what wasn't that all of our problems to begin with, right? Because let's face it, none of us came here on the short bus. You know, we're all very intelligent people in our own regards. I've met scores of people um, you know, throughout my time in recovery, that's like, dude, what are you doing in this room? Like you should be you should be working for NASA, you should be doing this, you should be doing that. But we've we've all to a certain extent, like we're we our our intelligence got in the way of us of being good, normal, well-adjusted human beings, right? And I think that that was the the thing for us at the beginning. We tried to outsmart our drugs and our drugging and our drinking, that didn't work. Um, and so now when we're we're talking about this far along, and I kind of completely turn away from it and turn my back on it, I'm starting to get smart and thinking that I can just do all this on my own all over again. So, what I need to do really is put that stuff to the side. Uh-huh. Uh maybe I practice the set-aside prayer before every as a mini prayer before every time of praying, just so that I can get right back into this whole thing of I really don't know half or all of as much as I think I do. And I need to get right back down to the beginning of it and start affecting that that conscious contact all over again. You know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Danny, welcome back.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That's a total. Dude, I had to cord the corner.
SPEAKER_04We thought you were in deep meditation. Yeah, I thought I I thought I plugged it in, but I didn't. It's okay. Uh, so this brings us to the last question. I want to kick this to you. Progress, not perfection. Why is it so important? And how do we like like talk about that? You know what I mean? Just talk about that for a minute, Dan.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. I mean, if you're gonna strive for perfection, you're gonna be a failure in your own eyes every single day. You know, I mean, that's the biggest thing to me. You know, progress is uh, you know, it's you know, hitting your hitting your knees in the morning at night, man. Like progress is like, you know, who you are as a person. But I mean, honestly, like progress for us is like one day not using it. You know what I mean? Like progress has so many shapes and forms in your life. You know, it's like uh I haven't had energy drinks in five days right now. That's progress. You know what I mean? Like it takes so many different levels, and that's like it's I struggle with it at work a lot, you know. Not really so much in my life, because like you know, doing the things that we do, you know, and that we've done that um perfection I don't strive for in life. It's uh it's really uh chips fall where they may. You know what I mean? You take things, this is this is the way it's supposed to be in God's world, you know. Like I really don't like as far as but in work, I want things to be perfect all the time. You know, like that's the one place I do struggle with that, you know, where I have to learn that, you know, I mean, nothing's perfect, dude. You know, but uh yeah, I mean I think it I think it's a real i I've seen and talked and you know it helps a lot of people that like strive for perfection and everything, and it's it's just a failure, man. You know, no matter what you do, it's never gonna be good enough. And that's really why we started drinking, drugging, and doing these things. Well, me anyways, my you know, I wasn't good enough. You know, that that was my main thing. I wasn't good enough, you know, and that's why perfection to me is like so dangerous.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah, I think the the key here for all of us and and for anyone listening is it's day by day, and some days we're gonna be better at it than others. Just because we miss a few days or don't, or you know, whatever, have a bad few days. This is a lifelong journey. We've said it on this podcast before, a journey that no one can take for me or spare me of, right? I have to go through this nuts and bolts, every bit, every piece of it. I go through with I go through it with my homies, my family, friends, support group, but most importantly, I go through this with the God of my understanding. And as there's an old saying that says, What actually pleases God is that is not the attainment of spiritual values and spiritual unfoldment, but it is the desire to seek and do his will. As long as I have the desire to seek and do God's will, that's what pleases my God. So, gentlemen, as always, thank you for being here. Thank you for having this uh discussion with me. Um I think sometimes I I think I feel like like we could talk about so many other things amongst ourselves and laugh and have a good time and poke fun and do this and do that, but like really and truly, this is what we all know. This is the stuff we know. Um, doesn't mean we know everything by any stretch of the imagination, but this is what we know. All four of us have literally come from a living hell uh and almost death uh to be able to share these experiences, these strengths, and these hopes. So always appreciate it, guys. Always. Um shout out to our listeners. Please like, follow, and share on all socials at TrudgeReport Pod. Email us, TrudgeReport Pod at yahoo.com. Send in your mailbag request for topics, questions, and comments to any of these handles. Remember, we are all here if anyone wants to talk about recovery and our experiences, or if you are struggling with some form of addiction. Uh, thank you again to Janine and Stella Mix Podcast Management. Good night, God bless, and may you trudge the road of happy destiny. See you next week.