Trudge Report
Four friends, all in recovery and living in South Florida, come together to discuss a variety of topics aimed at enriching their lives and those of their listeners. With a focus on sports, recovery, trending cultural phenomena, and daily life tips, they hope to inspire their audience to live better lives. Drawing on their own experiences and camaraderie, they aim to be informative, inspiring, vulnerable, genuine, and humorous. They encourage listeners to join them in exploring new interests and perspectives, while also fostering stronger connections with their friends, families, and communities. Their shared journey through recovery bonds them together and forms the foundation of their friendship and the podcast's message of growth and improvement.
Trudge Report
Ep. 114 - Don’t Be THAT Guy: Navigating Humility And Happiness In Sobriety
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Hello and welcome to another episode of Trudge Report. We go around the horn starting with Greg who is turning into the red-headed John wick and also knee deep in 37 different colors of off-white paint swatches. Danny trying to get through the post NCAA March Madness lull before NBA playoffs start. Corey getting ragged on by the group for ordering a Caesar salad as his entree.
Danny brings the recovery topic idea for this episode. We talk about what our newfound sobriety is like to friends and family and people close around us when we go from being scumbags and active addicts to fully sober and filled with the spirit. How we have to tow the line and not let our newfound spirituality come off as egotistical or holier than thou. How it sometimes takes longer to truly repair the Damage done in the past and how our feet and our actions must exceed our mouths. We don't try and fix others now that we have found a different way of life, we lead by example, and try to be the change we want to see.
“Change is the essence of betterment.” -Emmet Fox-
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Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to another episode of Trudge Report. We are a recovery-based podcast. My name is Sean, and I am your host. Joined as always by my good friends and fellow Trudgers. Please remember to listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Videos will be posted each week so you can watch episodes on YouTube and Facebook. But as always, please be sure to download on your listening platforms. Remember to like and subscribe on all social media outlets with the handle at Trudge Report Pod. This podcast is brought to you by Stella Mix Podcast Management. Gentlemen, good evening. Happy recording day. What's going on? Historic, historic day in the golf world. Uh, we'll get to that. I know that's what all the listeners are clamoring for. Mr. GA Phillips, also known as aka Big Ginger. What's going on? How are you? I like that.
SPEAKER_03Nothing living the dream coming off a busy week. Uh nothing, nothing crazy of note. Uh, got got my John Wick on yesterday at the uh shooting range. Sounds provocative. Oh, okay. Shooting provocative. It was real nice.
SPEAKER_02Shooting range is always provocative. Isn't there like seven of those movies now?
SPEAKER_03I I'll do for another seven more. Are they that good? Oh, they're great. You never seen a single one?
SPEAKER_02I know that's not true. The one I think I have seen like the first or the second one, maybe both, but I think at least one of them. Yeah, they're they're great.
SPEAKER_03They're great. It's it's excellent, mindless action. I do love Keanu. Oh, who doesn't? Always, always, always love it. He's the man. So yeah, and then uh yeah, uh knee deep in paint swatches over here getting ready to repaint the house. So you know, just just typical uh typical uh easy living, I guess.
SPEAKER_04Sounds like who makes the final decision on that?
SPEAKER_03Oh, she does. She, you know, but I get the you know the input. We're we're doing uh white mocha for the bathroom, so that's that's been decided. White mocha.
SPEAKER_02I like it. White mocha. Sounds racist. So a little a little off-white essentially. There's yeah, pretty much. At least they're all off-white.
SPEAKER_04There's at least 4,000 different whites in the paper.
SPEAKER_02I want to know, like, is there like uh you know how like the Academy Awards is like the Academy Awards, they vote like is there like an a a specific like board of people that make up names for paints? You know what I mean? It's like there's like a uh a conglomerate of the case.
SPEAKER_03Somebody making making upper six figures, just oh pranking out paint cranking out crazy ass names for for paints, you know.
SPEAKER_02Oh, we need 37 different names for the shade aqua blue, you know, like yeah.
SPEAKER_04The the the best space you should get is when you go to the paint store and you just tell them you want I just want white, and they look at you so because they're so many. We don't have that. We don't have that, man.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03But in a typical uh bro mode, I I definitely saw a swatch that said shark fin, and I'm like, oh hell yeah.
SPEAKER_02Was that like a grayish blue?
SPEAKER_03Sure was. Yeah, I see I don't I don't have anything I can even paint this color, but I'm looking for something in the house to paint just so I can be like, see that? That's shark fin right there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. That would be kind of dope.
SPEAKER_03And uh, I guess uh I guess not as uh noteworthy as to some, but I am very excited the NBA playoffs will be starting here uh tomorrow or Tuesday.
SPEAKER_02No, Tuesday, Tuesday, yep, Tuesday, playing starts Tuesday.
SPEAKER_03Yep, calves are locked up for the uh Toronto first round matchup. Love to see it.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Yep, I'm excited for it too. Good stuff, Danny P.
SPEAKER_04Yes, sir, yes, sir. Oh man, we're knee deep in work, man. Seven days a week, last two weeks. I mean, just nonstop work and then uh softball, softballs grinding. Um, really nothing new to report. Trying to think uh Greg had me uh, you know, thinking about laugh. You know, when I talk to customers and stuff and they're trying to like pick things out and they're both standing there, I don't even make eye contact with the husband because there's no there's no, I'm not if you make the decision, bro. I'm gonna get yelled at, we're not doing that, man. You know, she's gotta make the final decision on this right here. Oh, yeah. Uh but um, yeah, no, no, nothing really new to report, man. I mean, we just keep uh plugging away, working, softball, trying to get it going, and Maya's on pitching and hitting lessons, which have been going really good. And um, yeah, March Madness came to an end, you know. So it's got that was a little lull in the mind.
SPEAKER_02Total come down, isn't it?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's a lull in the mind, man. And that's all I really like. Honestly, I think every year, like I start like seven days a week for like two or three weeks just to keep me rolling, you know, so I don't get in that mind funk. And then um the Yankees started out hot, and now they look like the hot trash that Aaron Moon is. So uh we're back to you know, can't watch that anymore.
SPEAKER_02Long season, long season. Hang tight, hang tight.
SPEAKER_04Booney boy be doing boony boy things, so you know I can't, it's hard, man. It's hard for them.
SPEAKER_02I always feel that way too after March Madness, but typically the Masters, which obviously just ended falls that following weekend, so I have a come up and then and then NBA playoffs, but I do understand it. Is like just nonstop basketball for weeks at a time, and then all of a sudden it's just gone, you know. And it doesn't help that the NBA, you know, 80% of the games this these last few weeks don't mean anything because everybody's tanking, you know, or everybody's already locked up into their seed. But I get it.
SPEAKER_04We're just in we're in a sports survival mode till the NBA playoffs start. You know, the Masters was a nice little, you know, the Rory story and all that was historic, man. Really historic, truly historic.
SPEAKER_02And like very entertaining Sunday. You know, if you if you if you like golf at all, it was just a very entertaining Sunday.
SPEAKER_04Yep. No, and it wasn't, you know what I mean. It was good the way it played out, you know, because Rory was running away with it, and then the combat, you know what I mean? Like it really it played out where it was very watchable and very intriguing. So that was good. That was good. It was really good. Everything's everything's good though, man. We're happy, we're free, we're joyous.
SPEAKER_02Good. Corey. Corey, what are you knee deep in over there? These two have been knee deep in something. What are you knee deep in? Huh? I don't want to know. It's not for the show, Sean. It's not for the show.
SPEAKER_00Corey did you set everybody straight at that assembly this weekend? Uh yeah. I spent the weekend at a uh a a cult event and um in Boca. They elected me one of their leaders. Oh yeah. No, it was a good weekend. Um the the coolest thing is that Gabby and I got a night away, you know, by ourselves and you know, got to have dinner and lunch, and did a little double date type thing with Kyle and his girlfriend and all that stuff, so that was a good time. Um But yeah, it was fun to get away without the kids for a night. We that is the second time we've done that in seven years. No, you know what? Here's the deal. No. It it was way worse than the other. Oh, anyway, I got the engine started. Yes, no, like it was fine, but we went to this restaurant right behind the hotel, and it was called 60 Vines. You ever been there, Sean? Nope. Nope. Alright. It's it it's basically a place that's trying to be upscale, but it's really not. You know what I mean? It's like it has to like look upscale due to the the location. Anyway, I I really only so I'm not gonna get a steak there because I know it's gonna suck. I just had a feeling that the filet was gonna suck. I can't pronounce any of the pastas, so I'm like, I'm not getting any of this. Um so I went for my go-to. I like a good ass, expensive Caesar salad. I expect the best Caesar salad.
SPEAKER_02That is that might be so lame. That might be the lamest thing I've ever heard you say. And Greg feels the same way. I can tell by the look of it. It's kind of a vanilla.
SPEAKER_03I was dating on his face, okay, uh, you know, a porter house or something like that. No.
SPEAKER_00I thought you were gonna go burger.
SPEAKER_02I've got their burger, you know.
SPEAKER_00They're 20%. I don't know if they even had one. I don't know if they had one. I don't know if they had a burger.
SPEAKER_03All right, so Caesar, I mean it's not the worst salad. Okay, it's not the worst salad.
SPEAKER_00As far as salads go, it's fine. I just that's not the difference. If you guys want to talk Caesar salads, I I will fly to New Jersey for the best Caesar salad I've ever had.
SPEAKER_03In a cave, in a erotic cave that he took me to.
SPEAKER_00I just don't like how I yes, correct. And I don't like how you're coming for me over a Caesar salad. It is a delicacy, dude. It is a luxury to have a good Caesar salad. They're great. But as your main option, yes. Dude, I did it again today for lunch at a different time. I can't do it, bro. I I'm still so hungry if I have a salad as my main option. Well, I get chicken. I get chicken. Yeah, throw a little chicken on there. Yeah, I I I'm so content with that.
SPEAKER_02Okay. All right, you know what? Hey, who are we to judge? Who are we to judge? You live your life, Corey. You're Sean McDonald to judge. That's who.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02Well, so we also have to say my last name. Jeez.
SPEAKER_00It's on the Zoom call, Sean.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. All right, my nobody actually watches these things though. No, they might listen, but nobody's actually watching. I think we got like three views on our last video on YouTube.
SPEAKER_00Dude, we were doing numbers. We were doing big numbers. Um we also got an appetizer, though. We got like some sort of shrimp deal, and it was really good. That was really good. Uh, too expensive, but really good. Anyway, but yeah, the Caesar salad absolutely blew. It absolutely blew, and that's just so disappointing. It's got to be the easiest.
SPEAKER_02Oh, disappointing. All right, I didn't know if blue was like current slang for like it rocked. You mean it sucked?
SPEAKER_00Yes, and not only that, Sean, but everybody else got their food first. And then I'm sitting there waiting for my salad that you don't even have to cook, so I don't know what's taking so long. And they and this girl walks it over and she goes, Here you go, rock star, here's your salad. And I was like, I said my my response was, How did you know I was a rock star?
SPEAKER_02And Gabby and number two, you're like, Thank you, finally, someone recognizing me.
SPEAKER_00Right. I absolutely finally. I mean, I I've signed autographs before Sean, so I don't I don't know what you're talking about, but but yeah, that was parking tickets. I I felt I was like, How'd you know I was a rock star? And Gabby gave me like a side-eye look, and I was like, look not but um and then Kyle was like, you know, the only more demeaning thing she could have said to you just then is champ. I was like, Yeah, that's now Kyle.
SPEAKER_02Don't he doesn't know what he's talking about.
SPEAKER_00Well, he's kind of right, Sean. Rockstar, I'm what am I, five? You know?
SPEAKER_02At least she didn't call you tiger.
SPEAKER_00Hey, there you go, tiger. Oh, dude, that would have been awesome. Like Spider-Man, like go get him, Tiger.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and then and and then Gabby would have been not spoken to you for the rest of the night.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Another woman calling you tiger.
SPEAKER_00Well, that happened eventually, Greg, but I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say, you didn't manage to piss her off that weekend. That's a I saw you guys yesterday. You guys seemed very happy and content.
SPEAKER_00Oh, thanks for yeah, it was a good weekend.
SPEAKER_03Here's the thing here's the deal, though. You uh you mentioned something when we were talking about it the other day. Uh Laura and I were is you guys you guys notice how many restaurants nowadays, and it and it kind of translates into a lot of other stuff in our society as well. But it just seems like you go to these newer restaurants and everybody, it's it's almost like it's all about the how many Instagram likes are you gonna get? Like how like the decors all it's all about not the food, it's about everything some kind of kitschy thing where they oh they're gonna bring it out and they're gonna sprinkle salt, or you know, whatever the case may be. It's like focus on the food, focus on the the service, and everything will be successful, you know. But like, but instead it's you know how many likes and clicks and all that other BS are we gonna get.
SPEAKER_02It's about everything but the actual quality of food nowadays. Yeah, so that's that being said, that mirrors life, though. That mirrors life right that being said, you'll be happy to know that my wife and I, I was at the same assembly that Corey was at yesterday for a few hours. Uh huh.
SPEAKER_00The cult. You're part of the cult, yes.
SPEAKER_02The cult, uh, the the cult meet and greet, uh as we like to call it. Um, and then I actually had a nice lovely dinner with my wife last night, too. The kids were at my mom's house. So we went to downtown Lake Worth, which is on the come up. I'll say downtown Lake Worth is on the come up. It it it's had its moments through the years where it might not have been the most desirable spot, but it's got a lot of really cool restaurants. It's it's it's like any other little downtown artsy area. They we went to this old school, to your point, Greg, this old school Italian joint called Mario's on Lake Ave, yeah, where it's it's kind of like open air dining. Like there is an inside and a cover, but it it's pretty open. And we sat right on the on the outside, like on the on this on the boardwalk, on the sidewalk, nice breeze, beautiful weather, watched all the people come and go. Phenomenal food, phenomenal food. The place was jam-packed with like all the old old Lake Worth people, like half Italian, all from New York and the Northeast. They had live music, they had like a duet, like a Sinatra type singer. It was really fantastic. Got some great, some great food, man. It was it was a lovely experience.
SPEAKER_03If I go to a place and they've got a red checkered tablecloth, and maybe they bring me my water in a plastic cup that's either red or amber, and you're not sure if if the water probably just came right out of the tap somewhere, odds are my taste buds are in for a treat.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's dope. Literally tap or sparkling, they said. And we're like, yo, tap, fine. But yeah, it wasn't it wasn't red checker, but it was the it was the the white on black tablecloths like legit, like just you know, it was very good. Um, solid food. Um and um yeah, it was a lovely, lovely evening. Oh, so that's why it didn't come back to me. Totally, yeah, total uh total sidetrack on this one. What I was gonna say, first and foremost, is earlier that day, a young Grace McDonald, not only did she field a ground ball cleanly, she stepped, she stepped on second and got an out. There was a runner on first, she got a force play and she fielded it and like stood there for a second, and the coach was like, Step on the back, step on the back. She ran right over, she stepped on it and got got him out. Threw it to first. She tried to turn the double play. The runner, runner going to first beat it out, but but she tried, and uh, it was a historic day. I was very, very proud of her. Very same thing.
SPEAKER_04Were you uh were you containable? Like, what was your reaction?
SPEAKER_02I was just I was so I was on uh snack duty. I had each parent has to do snacks after and I had some I was like by the dugout getting the snacks ready and watching it, and just you know, I was uh did you golf clap it, Sean McDonald? Come on, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was I was like, all right, great, you know, I I got it. I got it. All right.
SPEAKER_00I got it loud. It was good. Um Hey, last thing from me though. Yeah. Uh if the Flyers win tomorrow, they clinched the playoffs for the first time in six seasons. And I'm so effing stoked about it, dude. Tomorrow? Yep. And it's like, dude, like they gained like 31 points in the lar in the last two months or something. It's been crazy. Like they just heated up.
SPEAKER_03It's just what happens if they lose. Nada.
SPEAKER_00No play else. They they have another shot Tuesday, I think. They gotta get they gotta get a win in the next two games, I think. How many wins are a point? Or how many points for a win? Two, I believe. Two and then yes, two for a two for a win. And then if you go into overtime the the losing team will still get a point. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Who will they play?
SPEAKER_02Uh I think Pittsburgh, if they get in. If you win in overtime, is it three points or still two? No, it's still two. So you can't get any more than two per game. Right. Yeah, a win is one for an overtime loss.
SPEAKER_00Correct. Very cool. Um, but yeah, I think we play Pittsburgh if we get in, I think. Shut out. That'll be that'll be very interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Pittsburgh's closed for it. Take his ass down.
SPEAKER_02Very good. Alright, boys. Um, what else? Anything else around the horn? Anyone got anything? Any rants, any raves? No? Good. All right. Okay. So, Danny, we had uh we have your topic tonight. Danny came up with a cool topic. I kind of like it, man. I was I was doing some some research on it, on the questions, and I actually I really kind of got into it. Um, so the whole idea for tonight is gonna be like I guess, and and Dan, you can kind of elaborate on this a little more, but do other people, once we get sober and get kind of healthy and well again, do other people view us as maybe better than, or is there like uh an air of arrogance? Is there a um, you know, just a way about us that we have that maybe rubs people the wrong way? Um the short answer to that is is yes, maybe not the four of us, but like we definitely know people that come off like that. So um, Dan, I want to give you a quick minute to kind of elaborate on that, and then we'll we'll get into some of the questions we got.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, my my main thing of it is like you know, the double-edged sword of it, you know, also in the recovery groups and and the recovery meetings and the recovery circles, and also in real life circles, you know, because by no fault of our own, by who we are and what we have done, we are classified as better than, you know, by our appearance and what we do. It just is. You know what I mean? I've experienced it in life. I'm sure you guys have experienced it in life, you know, whether you're around people drinking or something like that, you get those certain looks or people say certain things, you know what I mean, or whether it's your family members, or you know, you go into a meeting and you have 10 years and somebody has one month and the way you talk to them is talking down to them. You're not meaning to talk down to them, but what you're saying and how you're saying it and your mannerisms towards it gives them that feeling, you know what I mean? So I I, you know, like like I said, I I've had things said to me or you know what I mean, or brought to my attention to where I have had to like try and change the way I approach certain things, whether it's in life or meetings or anything like that. Because like I said, to no fault of our own, you know, it still is a little bit of a fault, but like to know like we're not trying to be harmful with that, you know, but I think it's very you can turn somebody away, man. You know what I mean? That's the biggest thing that I learned from it is that you can turn somebody away, you know, by talking and saying the things you do and becoming better than, you know, through that through that um um the words that you're using, you know what I mean, or the examples that you're using. But that was my biggest like it just hit it is like super like came in my head, man, it just hit home. Like I'm sure that we have all experienced it in every different fashion, you know, in inside and outside.
SPEAKER_02So I think I think maybe the good place to start is uh you know, we were all not the most stand-up gentleman, you know, honest or or in of integrity prior to getting sober. Um Corey still isn't, but um, none of us were getting sober. So now once we get sober, the family, especially, right? Like we're now trying to live this way of life. How does the family view us? Um, so I'll start with you, Greg. Did did your family and anyone close to you were they very skeptical of your newfound freedom and spiritual way of life and sobriety? Like the you know, were of you you were trying to be honest, you were trying to live this life. Were were people skeptical of it that were close to you, or did they welcome this? And if they were skeptical, what were some of the snags you may have encountered early on in recovery?
SPEAKER_03I I mean, I I think that they were all pretty accepting, if I'm being honest. Um I think they all just wanted to see me do better and and get better and get well. However, I think I had to check that a little bit coming into it, um, especially early on where yeah, I was I was very enthusiastic about living the way of life. I was kind of on fire for um, you know, recovery in general, and I had to kind of check that um slightly coming in, or at least my approach on it because um you know I I still maybe I had I'd begun the process of making amends to them and everything like that, but but I hadn't fully um to some people and certainly not like the the financial part was was you know slow to start for me anyways, um as far as making that kind of stuff. So I had to keep that in check. Uh I think that skepticism was met with uh my first couple trips back home where it was like we have to shield Greg from from all of these places and things and people and and all that. And so it was kind of I don't want I don't even know if the word difficult really, but I had to prove that, right? I had to prove that I had become a changed uh person um because they've only known me my whole life before that, which is like yeah, I I would oh yeah, I'm different now. I've I've done this, or I went to detox, or I went and you know, got right, and and then you know, I'd wind up high and drunk all over again, you know. So I think that for that, um that was where their skepticism uh lie. But you know, I it was just a matter of me proving it absolutely but surely to them.
SPEAKER_02Danny, you know, specifically like your ex wife, the the mother of your son, uh, and maybe her family or people on her side, were they skeptical of your your newfound recovery and and Did it take long for them to come around and like, oh wow, Danny really is kind of living this way of life?
SPEAKER_04It's still coming, boys. It still haven't come around, man. Uh no, but uh the the guys in the family, the the father and uh the brother, you know, that had uh very meaningful moments because uh, you know, her dad, my dad, you know, when I was growing up and stuff wasn't really around. And we were together for like 15 years, man, and her dad was basically my dad, and he means a lot to me no matter what happened between us. Like, I you know what I mean. I would that dude needed me, I'd be there in a second. And um, he pulled me aside one day. This was six years in, maybe, or something like that, or five years, and just said, Hey Dan, I'm freaking proud of you, man. Yeah, nobody made you do what you had to do, and you did it, man, and I'm freaking proud of you.
SPEAKER_02And that was like there's not much more. That means so much. Like, there's not much more that means more than that.
SPEAKER_03Uh dude, I'm especially because he doesn't owe you anything, anything.
SPEAKER_04If anything, he should hate me because I I deserve it because I've ruined his daughter's life. You know what I mean? Like a hundred percent. And I I understand that just like I understand it from her and her mom that still won't, you know what I mean? Like, they have all the right, man. You know, it's not on me to say that they should come around, they have to come around because I'm doing so good. You know what I mean? There's never I I've never felt that way once. And her brother, the same thing, man. He pulled he pulled me aside one day and he's just like, he's like, dude, he's like, you're showing up, man. He's like, what you do for Danny. He's like, and everything you've done, he's like, I'm just I'm proud of you, man. I'm glad you're still alive, you're still here, and you did the things you did. And that's yeah, I mean, immense, man. I mean, that's like he's like, that's they don't owe me anything, and to say that and stuff like that. But yeah, the women, eh, not so much.
SPEAKER_02Hell half no fury, like a woman's scorn.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, yeah, and rightfully so though. You know what I mean? I always gotta check that, man, because I'll get mad something in the beginning. I got mad a lot, you know, like you know, oh no, I changed every you know, one year, I changed everything around. Why are you still being mean?
SPEAKER_00You know, I used to honestly have that in my head, you know, because I was like it's only been a year compared to years of dishonesty.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. But you get that what we're talking about, right?
SPEAKER_02And the weight the weight of the damage, the depth and weight of the damage we did far exceeds one year of being sober, you know what I mean? Or like time, like it it it's almost like a two for one. Like all the damage we've done is takes twice as long as as rel in relative relation to how long we're sober, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yep. And just so you know, fully just checking the fact that you know, I mean uh Greg was talking about like you gotta check yourself a little bit to be like, you know, no matter how long, or if it never happens, that's not because of anything of me. That's not because that's their right to feel that way, and that's what they can do.
SPEAKER_02And it's not for me to feel any type of way because of that and their actions, you know, and the other side of that, and and this almost this almost bodes not so well for these qu like the topic we're on, because those people uh and not all of them, but a lot of the friends and family that we've harmed, they don't have the tools that we develop in recovery, they don't have this way of life, which again, all that does is fuel the fire for like are we, you know, us coming off as better than them, but it's even though we're not trying to, they just don't have they can't cope and they don't have the tools that we have built that we have learned, you know. Yep, 100%. Oh Corey, your in-laws hate you, right? They might now. I don't know. How'd the rest of that week go? No, I'm just kidding. No, in all in all seriousness though, Corey, this idea that now that we're sober, we have to fix everyone else, not just people in recovery, but people in our families and in our friend groups. What about give me some I know you got some ideas and some thoughts on that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, dude, I yeah. I don't know, that that just all stems from like my incessant need to uh arrange everything around me, you know what I mean? Like and and it's even worse when you have like the the backup data that says that this works or whatever. Like like if you do it my way, you'll be happy, joyous, and free, and you'll do you know what I mean? Um and I mean I that's like a very vague way of saying that, but um I mean god, I even I don't know, even when my mom moving down here, like I I like I get frustrated when she asks me too many questions about whatever. This could be like the simplest stuff about like needing needing help with A, B, and C, which sounds very like what were you telling me the other day that she asked you to do?
SPEAKER_01Go get a cell phone or something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I took her to go get a new cell phone plan. And then that and then that had to be a debacle. It was I'm just like, oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02Which fair point to your mom, uh, most of the time those cell phone stores are, regardless of who's going there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. It all worked out. It was fine. But it it was just a bunch of bullshit from point A to point B. But um But yeah, I get frustrated when she involves me too much, but then when like she doesn't involve me, and things like collapse, I'm like, why the fuck didn't you call? Like what you know what I mean? And whatever. I don't even know what your question was, Sean.
SPEAKER_02No, that it's just about like do we feel the need to fix other people? Whether we're doing it consciously or unconsciously, like you said, most likely if you do it this way, the way I think you should do it, you'll it'll probably work out better. And we we do it to people in recovery all the time, the guys we mentor and and the ones who kind of help.
SPEAKER_00It's so easy to be like, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was talking to you. Like, uh oh, do you have two do you have 10 years sober? I do you no no, you don't pop your colour real quick. Ten months, you know what I mean? Like, oh, maybe you should shut the hell up then. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02How could we how could we ever come off as better then? You know, I can't imagine how that could happen.
SPEAKER_00Now, do I say that in reality? Like, no, but it's on this year podcast. Well, on the podcast, but if it's hard, yes, it's hard not to feel it sometimes, like yeah, and and but you know what, dude? The hardest part about all this stuff is sometimes there's truth in that. Like, yeah, the guy with 10 weeks sober or whatever should probably listen to the guy with 10 years sober. Yes, in many fundamentally that is a good thing to do, right?
SPEAKER_02Doesn't mean it's doesn't mean it's always the right thing, or are they always right, but like more often than not, people with that amount of time compared to little time, it's it's right. And that being said, go ahead.
SPEAKER_04When they're talking dumb, I mean you gotta whip it out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but but also that being said, that being said, we all have known people with 20 years sober that we shouldn't ask for directions to Walmart from, you know what I mean? Like they they're not right, so it qual quality is over quantity for sure, absolutely, I think. But yeah, you know, yeah, that's my answer, Sean.
SPEAKER_02I know I like it. I like it. Um, Greg, do we like the language we use, right? And not just you know, the kind of the language barrier, like our vocab does our vocabulary change? I mean, I know I know I there are certain terms and words that I use now that I you know wouldn't have used, but and I guess it's not so much to people outside of recovery, but I guess like to the newcomer and stuff, especially. And we can address it to the outside, the family too, but you know, often I've I've found myself preaching, right? Not meaning to preach, but trying to talk to a new person in recovery from 14 plus years of sobriety and where I'm at today, rather than remembering how it was to be two and a half weeks sober. How do we approach them? What kind of language do we need to use? How does that look specifically with the newcomer?
SPEAKER_03Well, yeah, I say, um, you know, and I I say this is somebody that's very has been very guilty of it, and I have to keep myself in check of the the preachiness, right? And it's and it like a lot like Dan was saying, it's not coming from that I'm putting myself on this like spiritual pulpit and talking down to people. That's not my goal, anyways, but I know that it can come off like that sometimes, and it's because I have a tendency to get fired up for this kind of stuff, and I am passionate about this, and I think we all four can agree. Like when when we really do feel where it's like we can look at somebody or a situation and be like, yep, this is life or death. I remember what this was like, you know, um, you you tend to get fired up about it a little bit, and I think that's that's all well and good and okay. Um, the newcomer should see us as passionate right about this a hundred percent. Um, if we're if we're just in there all humdrum and and and you know uh you know, oh well just you know just get another 24 under your belt, son, and and and you know, feel free to help yourself some coffee and some Danish on the way out. You know, it's like dude, like that I'll take a Danish. So so we should be fired up about this, but I I think that there is uh an absolute difference between being fired up on it and coming off, like you're trying to tell them what to do, which is uh exactly what we've all talked about, is like why we've had issues with organized religion and why we way you know things that we didn't like about coming in the door of too much. You have to do this, you have to do that type deal. Um, and I do try to I don't I don't want to say dumb it down, but like there's levels to this for lack of a better term. So, you know, you you don't want to try you know um speaking too too advanced into this, like let's let's not jump too far ahead, put the cart before the horse, that kind of deal, and like really get back down to bare bones, you know, remembering like you were just saying, Sean, like can we can we remember at least where we were at coming into the door, you know, um or or at least some of the feelings and the way that we felt. Uh-huh. And if we can kind of whittle it down to let's let's let's do what we gotta do to save you for right now, or or to get you the help you need for right now, you know, and not come off as uh a bleeding deacon, I guess.
SPEAKER_02Remember trying to remember what was impactful to us, what people said and did that were in that impacted us in a positive way when we were newly sober.
SPEAKER_03And to me, that was just like you know, somebody coming up to me and seeing that I was struggling, you know, somebody coming up to me and actually taking the time to hey man, how you doing? Like, welcome. I'm so and so, like, you know, and and taking the time to have a conversation with me where it wasn't like uh that person was just waiting for their turn to speak or constantly cutting me off or something like that. It's just like listening to me talk a little bit and and and just be open. So I think that's what I'm at fault for a lot of the time is like, yeah, I I know what to say, but am I am I you know taking the time to listen as well, you know?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and I I want to say too, is like you know, a big thing like for me as a newcomer, like I remember and stuff like that. You know, most newcomers haven't been through all the literature, you know what I mean? So I I got in a point of you know what I mean, because I I went through the literature, is that I would have a literature lingo conversation, not a literature-based conversation. So the person I'm talking to has no clue what I'm talking about because I'm using words they don't know or they haven't read yet. And because of that, I am sounding better then and more astute, you know, in a conversation rather than just having a literature-based conversation with words that they will, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Like that, I feel like like putting putting the literature into everyday words for the newcomer rather than using some of the words that are in our literature that they may not be.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, because that was a huge turnoff for me as a newcomer, you know, because I didn't know I had no clue what this guy's even talking about. I'm not, you know what I mean. I haven't been through any work, I have no idea, and this guy's just talking this thing that seems impossible because I'm not understanding words that he's saying or why he's saying them. Yeah, but you're saying so mention whoopee parties, is what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03Definitely not.
SPEAKER_02Ask them, ask the newcomer if they want to come to a whoopee party, and you'll get a pretty good sense of how serious they are about their recovery right away.
SPEAKER_03But no, I was gonna say too, is like, you know, even stuff that um you know, try telling a guy that that's struggling to get 12 hours without using, you know, or without drinking, and try sitting there and telling him that you know your problems are all of your own making, yeah. And causes and conditions, right? Like that dude's gonna run. This too shall pass, young man.
SPEAKER_02So yeah. Um handling success. Danny, I want to go to this. I want to go to you first. When we start getting our lives back together, jobs, money, relationships, material things, business in your case that you have a business. How do you carry those blessings without making them the quote metrics of your spiritual worth? Meaning placing the importance on material things rather than the spiritual life. How did you how did you approach that? How did you handle that? And were there pitfalls for you and have there been?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, relying on what I was taught, relying on other people, uh, relying, relying on the spiritual guidance, you know, spiritual guidance was a huge thing. And I've always, no matter where, you know, I mean, because uh financial stuff ebbs and flows, man. Doesn't matter where you are in life, you know, you got money, you don't got money. You got money, you don't got money. You know, I mean, it just goes ups and downs. And I've experienced very peaks and lows, you know what I mean, going with my business and stuff like that. And it's like always, no matter what, and I said it from the beginning, is that no matter what, the money cannot matter. It just can't. You know what I mean? You you have to keep your principles and what you're going to do, and what's like I take jobs all the time that I'm not gonna make money on, and that's okay. Like, you have to stay within, like, I don't know, it's just like a set spiritual guidance of principles, man, of this is what I'm going to do, and I can't go outside those bounds. Because if I go outside those bounds, a person like me, I will end up in X. You know what I mean? Like, and it's like set in those straight lines, you know.
SPEAKER_02That yeah, have you fallen into the the I have to get money and I have to get a lot of it right now trap in recovery?
SPEAKER_04No, yeah, nope, not at all. Because I mean that's what like I I was having this conversation actually with uh two other contractors the other day, and you know, one of them like flips houses and does stuff like that, you know. And dude, I could do that. I mean, I could honestly, if I wanted to be, I could probably be fairly rich right now if I wanted to be a piece of shit. You know what I mean? I really I could easily, you know, because if I wanted to go and do these things and do things just for money and basically get one over on people, it's out there, man. Oh, contractors do it all the time, you know. I mean, it's nonstop, and Greg sees it, you know what I mean? Like it happens everywhere, and it's very easy to do, you know. I mean, so that's like it's there if I wanted to, but I will never do that, man. I just can't do it.
SPEAKER_00I'll take those blueprints if you want to just send them.
SPEAKER_02You got my email. Well, Corey, I was gonna ask you how how have you handled the success of being a rock star, Corey?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the fame. I mean, it's just I carry a stick around to just beat all the women off of me, you know, and that's about it. Three Caesar salad for life, yeah, dude.
SPEAKER_02What do you want from me, Sean? Well, listen, you've you've had your own success in your own right, you know. You were you have, you know, maybe not to the same extent as as Danny owning his way from the Stuart Bowl, baby.
SPEAKER_03That's what I mean.
SPEAKER_00Well, but that was my most successful time in my life.
SPEAKER_02The car wash is the car wash, but I was gonna say, weren't you like the youngest manager in Stuart Bowl history? I don't know. Maybe I think you told me that one time.
SPEAKER_00I may I was definitely the youngest manager then, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_02So I guess more more pointed to you, Corey, is like you are a felon, right? What you're a felon. I am yes, no, I'm just kidding, I am, I am two times. So, how did you handle that? Because that's a big listen, a lot of people in recovery, especially newer people, they're coming into recovery with felonies. How how did you navigate um, you know, because there's there's this whole idea that like felons can't get jobs and it's so much harder. How did you navigate that and your own success? How did you navigate that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm a firm believer in um that if we're if our motive internally is to do the right thing and we actually want to make if we want change, if if we're willing to change to do the right thing, and everything that that encompasses, that um the felony will not hold you back from making something of yourself. I I would have liked to I would have liked to have joined the Navy at 18 years old and if that didn't work out, I was in the grip of my addiction. Didn't work out for a couple reasons. Like I can't do that today. But I can still be like what I'm doing now. Like I'm I'm in some type of business, you know what I mean? Management. I've I've been promoted to management in just about everything I've done. Um sometimes it was uh more of a title than a role, but nonetheless, somebody has thought I was responsible enough to take charge of certain things in just about every job compelled. And uh and I am a felon, and I I think I said here on this podcast before, like you know, being a felon, I don't have a college degree. I have some college under my belt, but I don't have a college degree. Um and I found myself in management overseeing people who are way more qualified than me in my industry, and I don't really know what that's about. You know, I just but I'm always looking for more and uh not like uh insatiable hunger or anything, but like I I want more typically and I want to advance and I want to be responsible and relied upon. So it's that's gotten me far and I I mean I I'd contribute all back to God anyway because I just don't think that somebody like I mean I know that somebody like me doesn't end up where I'm at today and factor in everything else, factor in the family, the wife, all that, you know. Like the fact that you know, those three people and my house want to be around me most of the time is a miracle in itself, right? Um you know, uh success is uh obviously defined. And if anything, I as far as any like egoism or anything, I kind of have a reverse type of ego where like everything I just mentioned, I'll sit here and be like, I'm such a fucking imposter, I should not be you have a tendency to shit on yourself. Yeah, yeah. And I dude, I did it Friday. I just a certain set of circumstances at work and I thought, damn man, I don't know if this is gonna work out. I was kind of blowing it out of proportion per usual. But yeah, I doubt myself constantly, but um to a fault, but sometimes it's healthy, you know. Yeah, yeah. I'd rather I'd rather be that guy, honestly, than the guy that's like, fuck, I'm running this shit. You know what I mean? Like I'm gonna go I'm gonna go buy the fucking beamer and you know what I like and not that like I've had a ton of like uh financial success necessarily. You know, but it's just uh I'm not on a quest for like prestige.
SPEAKER_04Right. One thing I just like learned like recently, man, because I was like I was talking about like try to do the right thing, you know what I mean? Always try to do the right thing and like by customers and stuff like that. You know, but it's like it's a bad business concept at times because you're doing the right thing and I'm fucking myself. You know what I mean? That I I've learned and and it took other people as it always does. It took other people telling me, and other contracts, you know, I have a contractor that's like a brother to me, he's a great dude, and I had the excuse all the time that I didn't have the certain license to do things and stuff like that. And he took my excuse and he put it on the floor and he stepped on it and he curled his leg on it. He said, I have a license, you can use my license. You got no excuse, charge what you need to charge right now. Stop stop making excuses for yourself. You deserve X, you know what I mean? And that's like it's hard because, like, uh, you know, who we are, you know, like I was like, I'll do this for free, it's no big deal. I'll do this for free. It's like it's it's a paid service, man. You know, but it's always hard for me to intertwine that in my head because I'm always like, you know, I wish I could just win the lotto and do all my work for free, you know, like it's like it's it's a hard yeah, it's hard balance.
SPEAKER_00Sometimes I tell Dan that I'm gonna get into his books and start sending receivable letters to all of his customers. Yeah, get that get that money back. But um you know what else, dude? You know what else? I think I this is a weird thing that I'm gonna say, but you know. When I went to court all those years ago and um I walked away with those two felonies like we've already mentioned tonight. And dude, I I just want to say this for anybody out there that has like legal things stacked against them because in that moment when I was going to court and I was scared shitless, I was sitting there thinking, like, well, whatever happens, you know, I made my bed kind of thing. Like, this is what you do, you pay your debt to society, and I'm just grateful and blessed that I get the chance to go right these wrongs, and blah blah blah. And that's a great attitude. It is. But when they said, Hey, we're gonna give you two felonies, but we're gonna transfer your probation to Florida, I said, Oh my god, I'm so grateful, thank you, thank you so much. I do wish today that I went back and said, Listen, I really appreciate that. Can we talk more about the felonies? You know what I mean? Right. I didn't leave I didn't go back once to them, dude. I didn't try to negotiate once. I said, Oh, thank you. I'm grateful and blessed to be here. I'm sober today, and God's got my back, and that's all great. But advocate for yourself a little bit if you can, you know what I mean? I do wish I did that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's a good point. Um, Greg, service work. Does service work, right? Does it help keep our feet on the ground and our our good base in sobriety, or can it sometimes uh feed the perception of being elite or like the ego driver, you know, all this stuff?
SPEAKER_03It can be both. It it can be both. I mean, it's certainly uh service work is and doing for others, uh giving freely of oneself will always keep our feet on the ground, will always help us stay on the right path. It's not it's as we've gone through umpteen times, it's not the only thing that keeps us sober and happy, but it's certainly a great place to start, whether it be uh at your local group or or further up the chain. Um, you know, it it's it it will help keep your feet on the ground. However, um and I think this was mentioned uh, you know, Corey, Corey was uh alluding to it um earlier uh and and a couple other guys um we were talking in a separate chat, but like there there's rooms full of people out there that do have uh pretty big heads about uh that kind of stuff and their positions in uh uh in service and what they're doing, and um it can get out of control, yeah. It can get any anything where uh uh you know positions of power, prestige um are involved and and the ego runs a little wild, yeah, absolutely, you know. So I think uh that um and and speaking my for myself and even just on a on a regular group level, um, Sean, I think you've talked about it before, is like, but when you kind of start getting chosen and nominated every single time the vote comes around and and um people are are constantly looking to you like you're the wise man. I mean, it's it's uh it's it's all well and good in the moment sometimes, and it feels good, you know. It does you also have to check that ego and remember, like, hey man, like I'm I'm just a junkie that got sober, you know, I'm just a junkie that got uh in touch with God, and this is all for God anyway, you know. Um and and because of God, you know, so it's like I I really have to check that ego as much as humanly possible every time I come through the door so that it doesn't um doesn't w run wild because certainly um elite uh is doesn't begin to describe a lot of uh things about me, certainly not when I'm in positions of power, I don't think.
SPEAKER_02So well, it's that that classic thing, you know, we talk about it. We're the only organization that you come in as a big shot and you hopefully work your way, you know, up to being a servant at some point. And that whole idea, service, right? Like, and we know people, I I've been guilty of it. I think we all probably have on some level, but I I I we all know people that they wear their service commitments and their um positions in recovery uh on their sleeve as a badge of honor uh to a fault, right? And and they you touched on it the bleeding deacon as opposed to the elder statesman. And it goes back to that concept of you know, we're not putting people in, oh, let's let let's let Danny do this job because it'll be good for his sobriety. No, we are trying to put people in now take away, you know, your normal, you know, if you're taking out the trash at your new group or you're making coffee, that's that's a little different, right? We can the new guy, the new person, the new woman get them involved doing the chips, doing the coffee, taking out the trash, being the door greeter, right? All that stuff right away. Um, and and those people here's the juxtaposition is those people, they're not running to do those positions, like, oh yay, I can't wait to be a door greeter. I'm 13 days sober. That's coming from the people that are hey, you know, to the to our men, to our the people we're we're mentoring, or the new person, hey, I think you should sign up for this, or hey, you should go do this, or hey, do that. But um, that idea that we forget that the service we are doing, the positions we hold, it is literally in service to the rest of the fellowship, to the rest of the people, to the the those who will come after us, not just those who have come before us. Um, and it it does. It it does feel nice to be recognized for these things, but we have to remember, you know, why we're doing it and that right we're doing it to benefit the newer person, right?
SPEAKER_00Sean, it and it's not not to mention, dude, it's a weird ass flex to want to be the head drunk. Like when you put things in perspective, it's like, what are you yeah, like who what what power do you have over a bunch of just drunks and drug like somebody a friend said it to me the other day, it might be a little offensive. I don't know. I didn't take offense to it. But but we were talking about this exact topic, and she was like, Yeah, it's like wanting to be in the front of the short bus, really. Like, what the fuck? Isn't it weird? So we're part of the thing.
SPEAKER_03At least that the Boy Scouts get badges for this shit. Yeah, you know, like I don't even have any way to like show it off in uh uh visually, you know.
SPEAKER_00How many how many years did all of us how many years did all of us go without even knowing that anything that we are involved in today existed? Like, while it's important stuff, yeah, nobody knows about it.
SPEAKER_02I I remember putting no lie. I remember putting some of my service commitments and the positions I've held on a resume. Oh no.
SPEAKER_04And like okay, president.
SPEAKER_02Dude, I'm telling you, you know, and um and it got me nowhere, it did not get me a Lego. Yeah, yeah, and I remember that's good. I remember Papa Ron was like, what are you doing, son?
SPEAKER_04What are you doing? Swindler.
SPEAKER_02Take that shit off there, you know. I've got you know, district committee member, you know, and I can make it sound good. District, you know, district committee member for uh Okeechobee and the Treasure Coast from 2016, you know, like you know, all that kind of BS. Bridging the gap coordinator, you know, stuff, stuff like that. And then and Papa Ron told me. They're like, what is this nonprofit bridging the gap? Yeah, Paparon told me. Now, what I will uh, you know, that's actually a kind of a decent segue because what I will put on a resume is like under you know, the part where there's like not hobbies, but interests, and like I will put like volunteer work uh in the recovery field because that's that's true. Like we do that, you know, like helping, you know, and I'll I would I'll say I would say something like you know, facilitate meetings in in you know treatment centers and institutions of different kinds. But yeah, I was very um Pop Ron was very quick to tell me to get uh the majority of that stuff off of my resume. I like the Okeechobee fish fry president comment.
SPEAKER_00Like Sean, that's the worst event. Don't put that on there.
SPEAKER_02I was the the the I was a judge on the the chili cook-off for the founders day luncheon and ice cream social a very important position within the recovery field.
SPEAKER_03That was a great event. Great event.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, very good. Um so all right, so that kind of leads me into this. How do we maintain uh and this we can kind of wrap on this? How do we maintain a healthy pride in our sobriety milestones without letting it turn into like a pedestal or something? Corey, I'll kick that to you first and we'll we'll go around the horn and and we'll end on that. Corey, you know, sobriety milestones, man, is it just another day or is it something bigger?
SPEAKER_00That's such that's such a good question to ask yourself, I think. Um I'm somewhere in between, man. It's not just another day. Like somebody told me one day, I forget when I've ever heard it, but somebody was like, you know, you're married to your sobriety date. It's an important day. Yeah, hell yeah. You know, it's um it it was like the worst day of my life, and it was like the best day of my life, you know. Um without that day. I I just actually I I tried to be cute this year with with Gabby's 10 year anniversary, and I left her a little love letter about her 10-year anniversary because her and I both tried to, you know, not even try, typically do treat it like it's basically just another day. Like, of course it's congratulations, love you, like whatever. But um I wanted to, you know, not that 10 years is necessarily a magic number, but um I wanted to leave her a little letter and and it was basically my concept was you know, that that just another day also gave us everything that followed. You know what I mean? So that is something to know. Now I think the difference is if I try to take any type of credit for it, you know what I mean? Like I was blessed to have that day. I know for me I didn't choose I didn't choose it that day. I didn't I didn't choose to for any of that to happen when I got sober. So um as much as I chose to use and get high, you know what I mean? Um I lost all those choices. But um it happened and it's a gift that it happened. So when you take the credit out of it, I think I think it's something to be grateful for more than um like I'm not proud of the achievement necessarily, I'm grateful for it. I guess that's the best way I can put it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Danny, what about you? The the healthy pride in our sobriety milestones.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean I I learned over time from messages from people and stuff like that that me doing what I do is a symbolism. You know what I mean? It really is. Is that where I was and where I am is that a symbolism? You know, that yeah, it's a big day and it means something so you know, it kinda is just another day, but it's a super important date in my life, like Hory was saying, that I'm super grateful for. But I also just like people that die that we know it can be used for good. And it can be used for symbolism and it can be used for things. And I know people lots of people that know me and they see, you know what I mean? If I post that or anything like that, it means something. Because it means this guy that was homeless on the streets that lost everything and came back and he's living a good life and it's impossible. You know, and I think that's the hugest strength, man, that uh that when I when I was a newcomer, I just needed to know it was possible. I just needed to know that I had a chance. You know, and and I feel like I had people reach out to me and stuff like that. And that's my biggest thing is that it just has a symbolism to you know what I mean, to to to mean so much. You know, when it also is just like at this point now, you know what I mean? It's another day, it's a very important day, but it's not like anything crazy happens on that day, you know.
SPEAKER_03Greg, what about you? Yeah, I always try to like just frame it. Um you know, if I ever am talking about it, that that this is possible for for all, you know, and and for uh the newcomers out there and for people struggling. But certainly the the date holds weight for sure. Um the my sobriety dates last time I looked in the mirror and um saw a guy that I didn't think was worth living another day, you know. Um so there's gotta be some some kind of uh you know um uh pride I think might be the wrong word in it, but there there's gotta be something about that that you can hold near and dear, um, and at the same time recognize that you know that none of none of this is possible without God, none of it um means anything without uh God in our lives. Um the good people I've met along the way, the people that have taught me that esteemable people do esteemable things. Um that's uh you know, I think the the biggest thing in all this is that we're just doing what you know when when we bring this kind of stuff up to normal people, like you know, some people that that know us and love us and are close to us, be like, oh good job, you're you know, and they'll they'll offer the congratulations, but really we're just doing now what a lot of regular normal people have been doing their entire lives, you know, and and um so it's like no I don't think any uh big pats on the back or congratulations are needed. I think that um what it is is that again we we aren't on any kind of pedestal. We're we're out here doing the work, doing the grind, staying humble, and um, you know, knowing that we are on a much better pace and a much better page in our lives than we ever were, you know. And I think that's the extent of that.
SPEAKER_02I think it's it's it's super simple, and I'm not I don't always do this right, but there's an internal gratitude, there is an internal excitement when my sobriety date comes around. I am to core your point, I am in love with my sobriety date. I am extremely proud of it. I never want it to change because obviously, if it changes, we know what that means. Uh at the same time, and I say this slightly in jest, so to any of our listeners that may do this, I'm not picking on anyone, but I'm gonna say it. I'm not planning my own goddamn dinner for my anniversary and like a big celebration.
SPEAKER_03You're not bringing your own cake, dude, or what?
SPEAKER_02Um no, don't buy me a cake. Huh? Balloons? No balloons, no balloons, no cake. The most the eye opener used to do the card. Remember the card that I that's fine, but like oh yeah, yeah, but like I'm not making a big deal out of it because I do think and I understand why people do it. I have I enjoy going to other people's celebrations for that stuff, but I'm not planning my own. Okay. Well, that's the thing. The difference is planning your own, I think. Well, and I'm also gonna ask none of you to ever plan anything for me, but and I mean that seriously, but like that's a big thing, you know. So there's like a quiet internal gratitude because I love your point, Corey. It is just another day, but like I look at you know, my wife and our relationship, and and if her sobriety date isn't what it is, we don't have the life we have either. You know what I mean, most likely. So there is a there is a something really cool and a balance there, but I am uh uh and those who talk about like oh the days don't matter and it's quality over quantity, you're absolutely right. I know we know people with a lot of physical years of sobriety that are absolute scumbags that I want nothing to do with. But let's also say, huh? Name them. Let's also say that my time in sobriety matters a lot. Most people, a lot of people, the majority of people that acquire years and years and years of sobriety, they're doing something right. Not all, but most of them. So it's a good sign. It's a damn good sign. Yeah, that the person who you know seems spiritual and knows the literature and can speak really well, but changes their sobriety date every 37 days, like something's missing. I promise you, something's missing for that person. So 37 37 is real specific.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Sean, I've also been planning dinners on your sobriety date the last several years just for different reasons and not inviting you. So sorry to tell you that now.
SPEAKER_02But I you know it's funny I say all that, and last year, I've said this on the pod before, I think, I don't know, my wife totally forgot my anniversary, and I was I was so offended. Like and I was like quietly offended, like I didn't say anything, I didn't say anything until like three days later, you know what I mean? And like, oh, by the way, Catherine, you know, one of those kind of things.
SPEAKER_04How big was the resentment, dude? Because I had the same thing happen.
SPEAKER_02Same thing. I was offended. I was I was offended.
SPEAKER_04I feel it, bro.
SPEAKER_02I didn't see it, definitely, bro. And uh, and then you know, to her credit, which uh whatever it means afterwards, like that following Tuesday when we have our recovery group, Corey. I brought Papa Ron to give me my medallion, who who definitely wasn't doing the greatest at that point, you know, we're a little less than a year ago. And for some reason, the meeting ended like five minutes earlier than it normally does. And when it ended, Papa Ron, he was ready to go. Like he I he was at the car, he was like, Come on, take me home, I'm ready to go. And I was like, All right. And Catherine showed up with the kids, with the girls. She was she was pregnant at the time to like surprise me at the end of our group with like a card and stuff like that to make up for forgetting about it. You guys were gonna be able to do that. I was already gone. I was already gone, dude. Yeah, so I remember that. Yeah, but hey, I guarantee she's not gonna forget it again. What if she does that? Uh well, uh, we're not, you know what, I'm not even gonna delve into that. I think I sent her a Google Calendar invite or something, like a shared calendar novel.
SPEAKER_04I said, please forget my birthday. This is way more important, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And the truth is, she'll never forget my birthday because it's the day after Sophia's and two days before her mom's. Uh yeah, you got the sandwich. Anyways, I love my wife dearly. Dearly. All right, guys. Good stuff. Danny, thank you for that topic. I thought that was very good. Uh it was good. It it poked a lot of, it scratched a bunch of itches that I think needed to be talked about. So good stuff. Shout out to our listeners. Please like, follow, and share on all socials at TrudReport Pod. Email us, trudgeReportpod at yahoo.com. If you'd like to be a member of Corey's cult, you can send in your uh mailbox for topics, questions, comments to any of those handles. Remember, uh, we are all here if anyone wants to talk about recovery and our experiences, or if you are struggling with some form of addiction. Um, thank you again to Janine and Stella Mix Podcast Management. Good night. God bless. Don't ever forget your spouse's sobriety date and make sure you trudge the road of happy destiny. We'll see everybody next week.