Trudge Report

Ep. 119 - Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes: The Dry Drunk & Emotional Sobriety

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Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Trudge Report. We go around the horn with some quick life updates. A 9-year-old’s birthday party at what sounds like the most amazing indoor playground ever. Greg sweats it out over game 7 for his Cavs. Corey shares a truly heartfelt and proud father moment of his daughter's dance recital and Dan on the road traveling home from a visit with his son Connecticut. 

The recovery segment is all about what it means to be a dry drunk, what one looks like and how we can become one in our own recovery. Just putting down the drink is not even remotely enough. What we are after is emotional sobriety. If we harness that, then physical sobriety will have to follow. We break down what emotional sobriety looks like and how we attain it. 

The great difference between love and fear is that love is always creative and fear is always destructive. -Emmet Fox- 

Don't forget to like, share, rate, and download the podcast on all of your listening platforms. Check out and subscribe to our YouTube channel, @trudgrereportpod, for other content surrounding sports and trending topics. Trudge on good people. 

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SPEAKER_01

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to another episode of Trudge Report. This is a recovery-based podcast. My name is Sean, and I am your host, joined by my good friends and fellow Trudgers. Please remember to listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. Videos will be posted each week so you can watch episodes on YouTube and Facebook. But as always, please be sure to download on your listening platforms. Remember to like and subscribe on all social media outlets with the handle at Trudge Report Pod. This podcast is brought to you by Stella Mix Podcast Management. Gentlemen, good evening. Good to be back from my uh undercover CIA operation. Everything was successful. Just wanted everybody to know that. And uh it's good to be here. Greg, how you doing, bud? Cavs looking good, man.

SPEAKER_00

Doing all right. The good lord has seen fit now. Three uh recording nights in a row uh to to hit me with uh calves games. Two of them are uh have been game sevens. So um that's all I'm gonna say about it. Go calves. I don't I'm again, I don't want to tread the the the line of superstition. So we're um looking pretty good, right?

SPEAKER_01

We're keeping this to a hot 55 minutes tonight so so that we can all all of us, but Greg especially, uh can watch the most of the fourth quarter, if not all of us. Yes, indeed.

SPEAKER_00

So yes, indeed. Um, other than that, man, had a had a busy week. Our our our good buddy Peyton turned uh a whopping nine years old yesterday. So uh oh yeah we were uh busy this week preparing for that. Um he did happen to score um an authentic Donovan Mitchell jersey from the team shop. So I can assure you that was uh not cheap, not cheap, they ain't cheap anymore. I guess they never really have been, but um he loves it, so that's that's all that matters. Uh so yeah, we did the whole like friend birthday party thing. Um sleepover or just no, no, so we no, we we had it, they got this really cool place that Lauren found, and we've been there a couple times from um you know a couple uh of his friends and stuff like that. But basically, it's just it's a giant room that's all turfed out, and they got like blow-up houses in there, they've got every like ball imaginable, um, and they got like you know, wiffle ball, all everything in there, and basically a nine-year-old paradise is what you're telling.

SPEAKER_01

Possibly a 37-year-old paradise, too.

SPEAKER_00

Well I will say the the night ended with uh with them asking if uh we could do a parents versus kids Nerf gun battle royale. Oh yeah, and I was all for it, and then I ended up being the only parent out there, so it ended with me just getting desimated only parent or largest child? Largest kid for sure, for sure. I was dipping and diving and all kinds of fun stuff.

SPEAKER_01

So it's like the trampoline park, dude, when we do the birthday, they're so much fun.

SPEAKER_00

I get see, dude. We don't have a good one close by, like we've got one that's we've got a really good one, it's probably like 40 minutes away, but it nobody's gonna come to it, you know, if if you have it like the other one we got near us is kind of ghetto. So um, but those those are sweet, so much fun. But the thing is, dude, and and again, you know, because you never know like if the parents are gonna show up and stay or show up and just watch my kids for a couple hours. So, you know, we went out and got some adult beverages for the parents, and we got uh, you know, I ordered three sheet pizzas and like three dozen donuts because he didn't want cake, he wanted just donuts this year or whatever. And man, it was just way too much food, yeah, way too much food. But all in all, a success. Uh went out to uh the favorite Texas day Brazil at his request last night. So at his request, wow, at his request, yes, teaching him early. Yeah, yeah, we don't play around. So um, yeah, and uh I start a uh uh a new new job tomorrow. So I'm back back at it.

SPEAKER_01

So new chapter in the life, yes, indeed. So yep. Well, good luck to you, best of luck with that. Happy birthday, Peyton. Yes, absolutely. Um, I got a couple birthdays coming up here soon, but I know everyone's been waiting and clamoring. Corey Mitchner, good evening, sir. How are you? What's going on? Good to see you, buddy.

SPEAKER_04

Sean, did you get the invite to Noah's party?

SPEAKER_01

When was it? It's this Saturday. I personally did not get it, but that does not mean that my wife didn't get it on Facebook and just forgot to tell me.

SPEAKER_04

I that's okay, because I normally also send you one and I didn't, and I just wrote it. Will you send it to me? What time is it? I will. Noon.

SPEAKER_01

Ooh, noon. No problem. We can be there. That's that actually works out. That actually works out good. All right.

SPEAKER_00

At the house? At the house. You you didn't hire uh um a guy in Golden Gate who said he can dress up as Batman, did you?

SPEAKER_04

I did. Is that not good?

SPEAKER_00

Well, it'll it'll be interesting. It'll be interesting, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01

All right, Greg, you're referring to uh one old Constantine, right? That party, yeah. I remember that.

SPEAKER_00

I have the the I got about 12 videos from that party.

SPEAKER_01

That was yeah, that was uh I remember that.

SPEAKER_04

That was rough. What's up, Corey? Nothing. Also, you know what about birthday parties, what you just said? I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but just know for anybody out there that is ever invited to a birthday party at my house or a birthday party that I'm hosting in some way, shape, or form, that you are not permitted to leave your kids and just leave for a while. Just so just so we're clear. I'm not sure. Unless it's pre-arranged. It won't be, because I'll decline, probably. I mean, I'd probably do it for you guys, but like that's it, dude. Not for everybody. That circle is very small.

SPEAKER_01

There there are very specific kids that I would do it for, like my friend, like the that are the good kids, you know, not the crazy rowdy rambunctions.

SPEAKER_00

I I do I do think it's a little bit different, like at a house versus uh and and I will say one thing about this place that we went to. It's like when you reserve it, like you you get the whole place, like it's a and they stick a thing outside, private event, place is closed, so it's not like you have a bunch of random people wandering in there, but yeah, like if if you're just uh I'm not a babysitter, I'm throwing a party, you know.

SPEAKER_04

I don't want to be responsible for all that. That's no way. No way.

SPEAKER_00

Question is though, when you do that, you're gonna let all the parents poop in your house? Because they can poop anywhere they want.

SPEAKER_04

They can poop anywhere they want.

SPEAKER_01

All right. Well, they're using the they're not using my bedroom and bathroom in my bedroom, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_04

That's also closed for close friends.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_04

Close friends can use my my bathroom, but yeah. But no, outside of that, no.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, your mom's your mom's friend uh I know, I know. That's cool. Your mom's friend works with Catherine now. That's cool. What else is going on, Corey? Anything? Hey, how was Lucy's thing last night?

SPEAKER_04

It was great. I dude every time I cry. Every time. We had a uh a recital last night, right? A dance recital. Yeah. And they did they did a bluey theme thing this year and it was really cute and whatever, and actually she's she's behind me. Hey, the guy say hi. Uncle Sean, Uncle Greg, I'm sure Uncle Dan says hi too. Um there he is. Um, she waved. But uh yeah, dude, it was it was just phenomenal. Her dance school was so good, and and like the cool thing was like some of the senior girls that have been dancing since they were Lucy's age, like are graduating this year and they had like their senior solo, and and and even that brought tears to my eyes because I'm thinking like their parents have to be somewhere in this theater just sobbing right now because I know that I get really emotional when I see Lucy up there and stuff. And she does so it's just crazy, you know. You know how it is, like I do. It's like I can't believe that my child has the courage and uh all kinds of stuff to go do that. And yeah, it's just I don't know, it's crazy. But very cool. It was really good. She did good, and um whatever. There was something I was gonna tell you guys. I can't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_01

What's uh we'll swing we'll swing back around. Uh Danny P has joined us. Uh we were.

SPEAKER_04

What if I was like, no, Sean? No, we won't swing back around. I'm gonna talk for as long as I need to talk and then we'll let Dan go. What if I said that?

SPEAKER_01

Uh I guess I can't stop you, Corey. How are you doing, Dan? I would just have Janine mute you. Um Danny is not no video for Dan because he's traveling. Uh so we're keeping it, he's keeping it hands-free, I assume, Daniel.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, indeed. It's on my lap right now.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

What's going on, Ben? The only thing that's on their laptop.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah. Craig picked it up. There we go. Oh, man. We're just driving, driving through PA right now, man. But uh, Corey, I totally get it, man. I mean, watching Maya play softball, like pitching and in front of everybody and stuff, watching them conquer their their fears, man. I mean, it brings me to tears, dude. It does like the performance I can care less about. To be able to stand up there and to do that is like it's just so courageous, man. Right? Yeah, it's yeah, it's next level. Like, I had I can care less what actually happened. Just standing up there and doing it is awesome. But yeah, we're good, man. We're coming back from Connecticut. Had a great weekend with my son, had a little cookout, barbecue, my sister's friend's house, played some basketball. My son beat me three times in horse and on and in one-on-one because he's getting he's like a little man now. The tides have turned. Bro, I'm not even going easy. I like there's not even that up to ten points going easy. Like, we're playing basketball and he's hitting shots all over the place. And I'm like, all right, man, now I feel real old. Real old man.

SPEAKER_01

I'll I'll never forget the day I beat my dad in basketball. I uh that's great.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, my dad used to work me all the time. Yeah. That is it, it's a great day, man. But um, yeah, everything's good, man. We had uh we had a good week. You know, last week wasn't on because of softball, and softball's been cooking, and uh the weather seems to be turning around. We got 90 degrees coming tomorrow, so I'm uh I'm pretty pumped, man. I'm excited to see you. Yeah, I'm excited to be with you guys again.

SPEAKER_01

Very good. Yeah, good to be back. I was traveling most of last week. Corey and Greg, thanks for holding down the ship. Uh good episode last week. Um, so uh, you know, I got a story to tell. I had promised I would tell a story. Um, but um we're gonna get into our recovery segment tonight. And uh just before I get into the story, you know, uh being at a recovery group, it happened, being at a recovery group last night, and and as much as as much as I don't don't want that to happen because it's not the time or place, um, somebody was sharing in our recovery group and gave us gave us our podcast a shout out right in the middle of a share. It was it caught me really off guard. Um, but it was uh very nice, but it was like, hey, it's kind of like man, you don't need to do that.

SPEAKER_04

It's not the time or the place as a recovery group, but well, rest assured he probably won't do it again after listening to this.

SPEAKER_01

Nah, I mean maybe, yeah, but that's fine. I don't really want to, I don't you know, it's not really the place, but it was very nice. Somebody, but no thanks. Yeah, it was literally like, hey, I'm a subscriber and I see your face on my computer and love it, or something like that. It was Did I know this person? Uh yeah, you know. You you'll know 'em. But uh, it was it was very cool. I don't, but that hasn't that hasn't happened yet, you know. So I've had a few people randomly here and there, just like in the recovery community when we're outside of a meeting or after out to dinner or something, talking about, oh, like I love the show. And I I don't dudes sometimes I still feel like like we're just doing this the four of us, and that's it. Like nobody's actually besides my mom, because she always talks about it, we're like nobody's actually listening, even though I know we're getting followers and stuff, but it's it's very strange when somebody out in the real world in the community like says something. So that was pretty cool. But um, so I was in uh old Target. Um that's uh French for Target, uh Corey, in case you didn't know. Um I was in Target yesterday with the girls. They had these gift cards that my mother-in-law gave them, and they've been begging me to take them so they could buy whatever. So I took them yesterday. And uh I man, I'm coming around the corner, we're about to check out, and I see this woman starting to raise hell, right in like coming up to the aisle where you check out. She is raising hell. She's got the phone out, hang full phone high in the air. She's yelling, people are starting to crowd around. And I'm like, at first, I'm like, all right, girls, go this way, go wide. We don't need to see this. Like, let's go. But like we're standing there in the check, the the checkout line all the way to the the far end, but there were so many people, and the line was so long that like we were we were just there in it. It you know, not in it, but they were witnessing it. I was trying to keep their attention. She's yelling, and I notice it's another woman, and then right behind the other woman is a man, and the man is someone that I personally know from our recovery community. Um, I don't I'm not sure if you guys know him. He was uh he was an early early morning meeting kind of guy, but not so much when all of you were going to that early morning meeting that we used to go to. It was kind of like a little after that. Um, he definitely wasn't one of the OGs. He came, he like came to this area later, but I I know him well. I knew exactly who he was, I know his name, and he's yelling back at her, and at one point he gets in this woman's face and like slaps her hand that had her phone in it. And and I swear, this woman, I think she could have beat his ass, like no questions. Yeah, she was a big girl, and um yelling, and then she starts saying, I'm trying to listen. She's like, You're a pervert, you're a pervert old man, and I and I couldn't get the whole story, but something happened in the dressing room. Oh it was a dressing room fiasco, yeah. Yeah, it was something, and the the guys, I don't know if it's his wife or his girlfriend, but the woman he was with was trying to stick up for him and trying, but then when she started yelling that stuff about the dressing room, that woman she just kind of slinked away to the side and like was kind of like up, yeah. I guess like oh, this again. I don't know, something man. And and and let me say this at first, first judgment, I thought the the the the woman was just being nuts and being overreactive and you know, just causing a scene, you know, for the hell of it, trying to get some viral, viral likes and vibe go viral, whatever. And then once I kind of heard what happened and I know this guy, I was like, that he it he might be in the wrong here. He might be the pervert that she's claiming him to be. He's a bit of a strange dude. What what was being said, like like anything specific about what specifically when the woman goes, when those girls came out of the dressing room, you were too close and you were making them feel uncomfortable, or something like that, something along those lines. So I'm not saying he like ran in there with his pants down and was flinging it all around, but but something happened for a woman to go nuts. But it was it was wild, and I thought, man, I thought they were about to fight. I I thought he was gonna hit her, honestly. I really did, and that was not gonna go over well. He would have gotten probably his his butt kicked, you know. Uh but it was wild.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, how can you like as the man, if there's even the chance if you did wrong, man, why would you raise any kind of hell with that at all? I would just you gotta disappear into the background, brother.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Even even if you really didn't do anything wrong, like fucking god in that kind of situation when they're starting to yell out pervert in a store, it's probably time to go anyway, dude. Because you don't know, excuse me, excuse me.

SPEAKER_01

She was yelling predator. Oh, but I do think I do think she probably meant pervert. Like predator is maybe even a strong I don't know, but it was could be it was wild, man. It was it was uh oh man, that's even wild.

SPEAKER_00

Who's our boy Chris Hansen when we need him? Seriously, tell that guy, hey, why don't you sit down?

SPEAKER_04

He actually was just in Martin County. He was just in Martin County. Did you guys see that? No, maybe he was though. Anyway, the biggest problem, the biggest problem here, Sean, is like that's some serious Walmart energy in Target. Like, don't fuck around with our target vibes, dude. No, you're absolutely right. Target's where you go for like great things that aren't too expensive, peaceful, but also like all like I don't it's just class, yeah. Class. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You you expect that from a Walmart.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Oh, dude, Walmart's fucking yeah. How did it did it? Was there like a culmination?

SPEAKER_01

Was there like did it it it just it honestly just they left the the man and the woman he was with ended up just just like leaving the manager finally stepped in, and that was the other thing. There were staff members that were just watching this go on. For I was there for at least five minutes watching this go on, and I and it had already started when I walked up. The the the target staff, they were just watching, honestly. And then finally, like somebody stepped in and kind of broke them up, and then the man and the woman just left.

SPEAKER_00

I was gonna say, I mean, I don't think uh a lot of places, man, I don't think they like the employees aren't gonna get involved because they don't want to get fired because nowadays it's like they get they get fired for for stepping up in charge.

SPEAKER_01

Which is crazy that you just like just if you even if you're just trying to break it up, like that's just nuts to me. But the world we're living in.

SPEAKER_04

So well, I'm gonna need the name in the chat, Sean.

SPEAKER_01

Just in case we don't I don't know. I don't know. And if you saw this, dude, you'd be like, oh yep, I believe it. I believe it. And listen, that doesn't bode well for like our recovery community, but let's be honest. No, there's some scumbags out there in the recovery community. Let's be honest.

SPEAKER_04

I I already got a list in my head of people it could be.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we're not uh we're not uh pretending that we're all like these wonderful people and saints. There are a lot of us are good people, but you know what I tell people, Sean?

SPEAKER_04

I don't I don't shy away from the fact that like our recovery groups are full of some of the sickest people in the world. Absolutely, it just is like you hopefully you hopefully people are there to like stay and get better, but not everybody is. And they're free to come there, yeah. And we've seen people go to jail for some heavy. Which is the beautiful thing about it, too. Yeah, which is I'm sorry, say that again. You've seen what I I said we've we've seen some people go to jail for some heinous shit over the years. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_00

And and people that were real good at at parading around like they were great people as well.

SPEAKER_04

Which is why we should talk about one day. I already mentioned it, like meeting etiquette or recovery group etiquette or whatever. But we we should also talk about what not freaking say in in groups and meetings, because you're in a room full of str not full of strangers, but in every meeting I'm at, there's somebody that I don't know well. You know what I mean? And like we share too much sometimes. Not we not we, but people do.

SPEAKER_01

It's a valid point. It's a valid point. But so well, on that, it's probably that's probably a good segue then. On that note, what we are talking about tonight is kind of this idea of Well, you never came back to me anyway, Sean. Oh, I I apologize, Corey. Do you have any more you'd like to share with the group? No, carry on. Okay, thank you. I I my apology, sir. Um so let's let's go right to like what it means the term dry drunk, right? We we all know what that term means, but um, I don't know, Corey. Can you describe that term to our listeners? Because maybe they don't all know what it means to be a dry drunk.

SPEAKER_04

Um yeah, a dry drunk may look like uh uh being a predator at a target. I was thinking the same thing.

SPEAKER_02

Dude, I was thinking the same thing. I was like the dry drunk is definitely in the in the dressing rooms at Target.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I guess on a serious note, if I must. Uh well we talk about untreated alcoholism or untreated drug addiction, whatever labor is, I guess, as being um well, I guess restless, irritable, and discontented. To sum it up. Um it's a state that you seep into when you have a lack of spiritual life, um lack of spiritual activity, lack of prayer life and meditation. The list is kind of ongoing with all the things that that you don't do that lead you to being a dry drunk. Um essentially a person that that just put the drink down and didn't change a thing.

SPEAKER_01

Someone who's not active in a recovery program, and and and you can even probably be we could probably even be more specific and say someone who has not gone through uh the recovery process, right? The spiritual exercises that we've outlined numerous times on on this on this here show. I would say that's probably a good a good way to describe Greg. What is what do you think? What is what are like what comes to mind when you talk about dry drunk?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, to be clear, it it'd be somebody who is um separated from their drink or drug of choice, and and that's it. Um and that's it. Yeah, right. And and that's my biggest. Problem, I think, um, with some of the recovery sayings and lingo that you hear um floating around. And and while some of it is very good information for somebody that's brand new in in recovery, and and and again, it's like uh best laid plans and and well-meaning intentions and all that. But you know, um it when when I think of a dry drunk, I think of those sayings that I hear of, you know, just just don't drink and go to meetings, um, or just don't pick up the first one. I'm oh thank you, genius. You know, because if I the if is that all I needed, you know. I I or no, it isn't because I I wouldn't have needed all this if I could just stop on my own. That's the whole crux of all this, is that I don't have uh a self-control or an off off switch for myself. So yeah, I mean it it it's it's just that, and you know, just like Corey said, it's it's you know in those situations, all we're doing is is we're not uh we're not um feeding the beast, if you will, but uh but we're still just as beastly, like all the all those negative qualities about ourselves and character defects and and everything like that, they're still they still come bubbling to the surface, they're on full display. Sometimes we're we're running running riot in those things, we're just not picking up. And you know, to me, thinking about that, and thinking about the couple of times that I have kind of like there's been times that I've swung that way, certainly, you know, where I wasn't doubling down on on my my my prayer, my daily meditation, you know. Uh I maybe wasn't as concerned with helping other people and stuff like that, and when you know start to lead into that kind of stuff, and um, yeah, I'm I'm I'm prickly like a cactus to be around, man, you know, and and uh I do it bi-monthly, Greg, just to keep shit interesting, just to spice things up a little bit, baby.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, that's that's it in a nutshell.

SPEAKER_01

I think too, I think you hit on a good point, like not helping others, and and you could take that a step further, not even seeking to help others. Because I do think if uh if you if you're trying to help others and you're like seeking that, then that kind of takes care of itself. But it's those who are are purposely not putting themselves out there to help others. But at the same time, if said person hasn't gone through the spiritual exercises and doesn't have a daily, you know, diet of prayer meditation and isn't trying to practice spiritual principles, then it makes sense that they're not, that they wouldn't be trying to to endeavor to help others, right?

SPEAKER_00

Well, and I would I would also say too, I would think that that's kind of one of those first things that pop up. It doesn't mean that I go right back to lying and and cheating and stealing and and robbing people and doing all that kind of stuff, but it it it's it's the you know, well, my my selfless selfishness, selfishness starts bubbling up to the surface where it's like eh, you know what my in the in the the victim and the blame game of oh my life sucks or this this sucks or this didn't go my way or whatever the case may be. And you know, um, so yeah, I push that to the wayside probably first and foremost.

SPEAKER_04

Right. Danny P. Dan, before you go in, can you just make a let us know if you uh have checked the rental car thoroughly? Yeah, I was just gonna say, you making a deal, dude, on the corner?

SPEAKER_02

I have, and I just wanted to tell you, Coreia, I just stopped at a Wawa.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, middle of Pennsylvania.

SPEAKER_00

Do you still have the cornrows that you had earlier this weekend?

SPEAKER_02

No, I had to I know I had to take them out, man.

SPEAKER_00

If it this morning it looked like I mean, it looked like I was on three days of if you if you pull into a uh certain PA Wawas rocking those cornrows, they might just throw the drugs right in your car for you. You don't even have to say anything.

SPEAKER_01

You don't have to pay or nothing. Yeah, there's the kingpin, there's the kingpin.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'll return return the car and be like, hey guys, you can't charge me the money's in the car. You're all set. Oh man.

SPEAKER_01

What does this term mean to you, or what what's your experience with this?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, dude, uh, I don't know about you guys, but like when I uh when I started doing this stuff and I found out that uh alcohol wasn't the problem, you know, alcohol and drugs wasn't the problem, and I was the problem, I was I was a little miffed about that, you know what I mean? Because I I always thought that all I had to do was stop what I was doing, which was drinking or drugging, you know, and that and that's to realize that I did that, and it's weird that nothing changes, you know, and as we've been around long enough to like see it, you know, to transform. To me, it's like just layman's terms, man, is that anybody that's a dry drunk just put down the drink or put down the drug, it didn't change anything about themselves. So if nothing changes, nothing changes, right? You know, like it's a and and we've all felt that, we've all seen that, and you know, it's manifest in in in in our lives, you know what I mean, to realize that like how many times do we try to stop where we just stopped the thing, you know what I mean? Where we thought we were good if we went by just stopping when we had to stop. But um, yeah, I mean, all the stuff that's involved in going to recovery meetings and helping people and all those steps are what keep you, you know what I mean, recovered from that hopeless state of mind and body. You know, that you don't just you know, like we say, cured, you're cured, and then you're good and you're off and on your way, you know. And uh, I know we've all been into uh dark places of where and why we got there, and then why we got there is because we were basically being dry drunks, a portion of that, you know?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I uh I think a really good way to look at it too is like someone who has quit drinking or doing drugs, but like still acts the same, right? So there's still the emotional instability, there's still resentment and blame and grandiosity and kind of a certain rigidity about the person, usually like a very cynical person. Because let's face it, not that we're always have the most rosyest outlook in the world. I mean, just look at Corey, but um, when a person gets sober and has the awakening, goes through the spiritual exercises and has an awakening, like a lot of that cynicism and rigidity and instability, it may not go away right away, but like it starts to get better, and you're you kind of build towards something. And the the dry drunk would be someone who has quit drinking but kind of is still lying, cheating, stealing on their taxes and from work and all that. Maybe they replace one addiction for another and they start gambling or overeating or whatever the case may be. Um, so in that vein, we kind of touched on it a little bit, but like Corey, what are what are the things that we need to do to stay away from being a dry drunk?

SPEAKER_04

You know, I might be cynical, but I don't blame anybody but myself, Sean. I'm just saying. Good man, good man. I blame myself too much. I should really actually give you more of the fault.

SPEAKER_01

That's fine.

SPEAKER_04

What was your question?

SPEAKER_01

What do we do to not What do we do so to not be a dry drunk? What do we do to combat that or or never get to that point, hopefully?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I mean we've touched on it a bazillion times on this podcast, but um every other month when I decide to uh come out of it, I I pay more attention in my my spiritual life, my my prayer life specifically.

SPEAKER_01

The morning routine is many, many times.

SPEAKER_04

Um you know, like you said, seeking somebody to help, right? Start meeting with new guys and and early seeking to meet with new guys, seeking somebody out, you know. Honestly, I I can't even I'm not gonna lie, the the one thing I hate more than anything is walking up to somebody that I don't know to introduce myself to offer them help. I don't hate the fact that I'm offering them help. I just hate the introduction of meeting a new person. It's not something I feel like doing on a Tuesday night. Um but afterwards it feels great.

SPEAKER_01

He especially loves it when I'm like, hey, come here, Corey, meet so-and-so. He's new, and I turn to the new guy and I'm like, hey, Corey would be a great mentor. He's sober a long time. Why don't you guys get each other's numbers and I walk away?

SPEAKER_04

It's like dog word matchmaker. I love it. I know. I don't I don't think one is stuck yet, though, that way.

SPEAKER_01

What about your boy James?

SPEAKER_04

You didn't do that, you pointed him out and said, go up to him.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, and meanwhile, I mean like recovery tinder. Yeah. Swipe right, swipe right on that guy, Corey.

SPEAKER_04

Sean Sean picks the dude that's fallen asleep.

SPEAKER_02

I know, I'm like I'm like, dude. That's a stereotype.

SPEAKER_04

Sweet kid. Oh no, he's great. He he is, but at the time I was thinking anybody by him, Sean. He's not serious about this. I have all the preconceived notions, but um but yeah, to wrap it up, that that's what we do. We do we do the basic shon, I guess. Or we switch it up, to be honest, too. Like we don't change what we do necessarily, but we might change the components. Like maybe we go to different meetings, maybe we try a different style of meditation, because that we can get stagnant in the shit that we're doing right too. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Like it's I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think if you don't switch it up, it's a problem. Oh, I'm fucking pissed now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Can you see that, Dan? Can you see the chat?

SPEAKER_02

I I something just popped up. I yeah, I can't.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Janine just gave Janine just gave Corey a very nice compliment. We'll leave it at that.

SPEAKER_04

One leprechaun on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01

Me. Dan, what about you? What do you think in terms of just what are the things we need to do to stay away from being a dry drunk?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, no, I like I mean, I really like what Corey just said. Like, honestly, like as farther as you go, I think it's important to switch it up too, and not do the same thing over and over again and not ask the same kind of people or or not go to the same meetings. And I I feel like that is very important. And also, like for me, like moving up here and having to switch things up and doing going through spells of like, all right, this sucks. I'm not, you know what I mean, da-da-da. And then feeling that way, you know, and going back to it and just trying different things and all that stuff. I think I feel like it keeps your drive, you know what I mean, more amped towards it if you're just doing like Corey just said, doing the same thing again, stagnant and all that stuff. But I mean, a number one is helping other people, man. I mean, helping other, you know what I mean, in in the recovery meetings and helping other people to any form that you can, you know what I mean? As long as you're willing to help, you know what I mean, and trying to put yourself out there to help, you know, like that's what it's like, you know, like you guys are just saying, it's you know, you could ask this person for the number and it doesn't stick and it doesn't stick. But my mentor told me a long time ago, as long as you keep trying and keep doing the things that you're doing, go in those meetings and trying to be, you know, helpful to others, then you know that the things are gonna keep going good for you. But um, yeah, I think I think it's just very important to not just do the basics, you know, when you get to kind of like where we are to me, you know what I mean? Like you can go back to that morning routine is very important stuff, but I feel like it has to be more, you know, more and more and more for us to keep us on our plane. But uh, I would say one of my biggest things, man, with uh people that are dry drunks, and like the biggest thing that I, you know, 100% witness is fearless lies. Like fearless lies is like the biggest number one, like cardinal thing that I see, man. When you can lie and not feel bad about it, that's how you know, like that's like my that's like my number one, you know, whether it's whatever kind of actions and selfishness and ego and all that stuff, but fearless lies, I mean that's like super red card right there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I was thinking I was kind of thinking that because when uh like I had a stint of sobriety before the period of sobriety I'm in now, um where I was like, alright, I'm gonna be a better person this time. I'm just gonna be a better person. That's my recovery plan, that's my relapse prevention plan, I'm gonna be a better person. Except like my mirror code of morals like sucked and it was still all about hanging out with somebody else's girlfriend that I was well aware of because she was definitely taking. But like I didn't feel bad about it. I I didn't feel I thought I was like that fucking prick deserves it. Honestly, he deserves his girls. Like, isn't that crazy? You know what I mean? Like, that was my code. Pretty dry. That was pretty dry, dude. I smoked a lot of crack on the after that stem sobriety.

SPEAKER_01

I uh Greg, before I kick it over to you for the question, I I I met this guy a few weeks ago who just relocated to this area, and he's got like seven, eight years of sobriety. Really cool dude. But for some reason I just was drawn to him and and I thought of Dan, I thought of you and Greg having to relocate because like he just relocated. He's from actually PA originally. He was living like down in like south of us in Florida for a while, but but like brand new area, doesn't know anybody, and um and said he's been kind of pretty stagnant for you know a good few years. You know, he did he does still have a guy he's been working with, so that's like the only and he says like that's like the only saving grace for him. But um, so him and I are doing some stuff, but I don't know. I've been like really making it a point to include him and invite him and get him introduced. Like he's he's speaking, he got asked to speak already at one of our groups on a Friday night next week, and just like but I thought of you two specifically and kind of how difficult it can be when you relocate and you kind of have this foundation and this this knowledge of recovery, but it it's just it's just hard, hard to find, you know, because we naturally I think look for the same click of people or the same type of meeting, and sometimes those don't exist, you know, sometimes those don't exist. So that's been really good. But Greg, what about you? What are what are what are some things you do, some practices you have, or that you would give advice to someone to to not be a dry drunk?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean, kind of like along the lines of what you're just talking about, too, is like let me just say, um, and not sugarcoat it, it sucks. Like it does suck in in the beginning to put yourself back out there and to relocate, you mean relocate relocate? No, no, no, uh to relocate, yes, to put yourself back out there, to walk into meetings you're not familiar with, you don't know a single soul in there, you know, and just stick your hand out and and and you know, tell them who you are and be open and and vulnerable and all that kind of stuff all over again. You feel you feel like a newcomer all over again, and um so it is uh it's it's not a fun experience, but you look back on it after you do it, and you're like, Wow, that was so so freeing to me. And and and and I think that's why that stuff that Corey was talking about is important, like my my morning routine going back and revisiting that is so vitally important, especially as you started to um you know either fall off of it or like me, I'm the kind of guy like I I get into really structured routines, and that's just the way that I am, it's the way that I'm programmed and built as I as I get into this structure, and so and sometimes and in some facets of my life, like working out or dieting properly, or you know, um uh for for Peyton and his sports or whatever, like that stuff works very, very well for those uh aspects of life. But I don't think necessarily it's always the best thing for for the recovery portion of things, because again, if I if I start to get structured that I can also run the risk of of uh being stagnant, like Dan was talking about too, is like you know, and you go into those some of those same meetings and you know, um you see some of those same uh dry drunks in in those meetings, and and oftentimes they're the ones that are raising their hands and sharing every meeting about what what it is that everybody else should be doing. Yeah, yeah, um pointing the finger, yeah. Pointing the finger, and they're they're kind of easy to spot and you because because if if somebody's sharing something, especially if they even if they're coming off looking like they're passionate about it or or whatever the case may be, it's kind of those things that are that are easy to spot where it's like, man, like that that poor guy's got a rough life, you know. Um and and that's the thing is I always I always try to have some kind of empathy for it, but yeah, at the same time, like I'm I'm certainly being judgmental in my own head about it for sure. But um yeah, I think that is vitally important to to change change up that routine and go go get uncomfortable again, you know. Uh what's the the way I look at it now is what's the worst thing that can happen? I'm gonna go into a meeting and I'm not gonna like it. I'm gonna go to a new group and I'm not gonna like it, and then cool, I'll just I'll find another one. That's that's the beauty of uh of uh what it is that we do is it's it's a it's a worldwide thing and it's everywhere, you know. And um, you know, at least for for our specific side of things. But one thing I would say to anybody out there, right? Because there's there's different means and modes of recovery out there for especially nowadays, but um for anybody out there is like just don't don't get stuck in this thing that all you had to do was stop you know and and then that was it, and and you're you're just holding on, like um we talk about like white knuckle sobriety and what that is, man. And and and yeah, if you're if you're just holding on for a dear life, praying to God you don't get hit with a cocaine dart tonight, you know. I mean, it's uh that's that's no way to live, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, exactly, man. It's no way to live at all, dude. That's like it. I I remember like early on, man, just like if you have to avoid people, places, or things, man, you're not sober. You're just not, man. You're not maybe early on, you know, be safe early on. Yeah, I would say early on, there's a good but you're but absolutely I understand what's like yeah, like I didn't go home to Connecticut for a year, but like you know, like but now last night I was a at a party and you know everyone's fall down drunk. That's who braided my hair, Greg was some drunk chick, uh my sister's friend, you know what I mean? But I'm having a blast with these people that are all drinking and stuff, and it's not even on my mind, man. I'm just having a good time. That's because you were drunk. Yeah, no, no, I'd be high, bro.

SPEAKER_00

But no, but no, I I appreciate you saying that, Dan, because like right now, and I'm not gonna get obviously personal or anything, but like I have a family member who has done kind of just that, and like like they won't come back home, you know, they will not like like the you know, other members of the family that are with that, like they'll come back home, they'll come visit and stuff like that, and he will not, he will not come back here. And it's like, man, dude, like that sucks. You might miss my wedding, you know what I'm saying? But like that really come back because he's sober and he doesn't want to be around it, or he because he he just he is scared to death that if he comes back here, it's the old people places and things kind of stuff. And I try to talk to him all the time about like bro, you don't have to live like that.

SPEAKER_04

There is such a better way, but you know, our literature is pretty clear about that kind of thing though, and it says that if we're still like that, then we still have an alcoholic mind. Yeah, and that's just all there is to it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I say it all the time, man. I was like, dude, if I had to live like that, I'd be a back out there. I mean, a hundred percent. You know, there's just no way to live. You gotta be you're living free. That's the whole point of it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I dude, I love going to a treatment center and sharing all about how triggers don't really exist when it comes to this kind of stuff. Yeah I mean like at least long term, like we're saying. Like, I don't you know, I'm not I wouldn't tell anybody with a hot 30 days sober that they should go hang out routinely at their old bar or something like that. Right. I I think there's right like there's a waiting period. There's a yeah, and but it but it has more it has more to do with how quickly you get the work. Yeah, like how how quickly you get better. And like I would agree. Because because then like if you're saying a year sober and you're active spiritually and you're out there helping people and like you have a solid foundation, we all know you and stuff, it's not gonna make the hair on the back of my neck stand up to hear that you often frequent your old watering hole because you like the food. You know what I mean? Like that wouldn't that wouldn't make my ears perk up. But if you're not on a good foundation and it's evident, then I'd be like, oh fuck, well, we're counting down the days then, huh?

SPEAKER_01

You know, well, and I think Corey, you bring up a good point because I think people today are so ingrained in this thought of like, oh, I feel like, oh, woe is me. Listen to my problems. If you had, you know, if you had my problems, you'd drink too, or you'd be this way too. Oh, that's the worst, the worst. Oh, it's the worst, and and but there's such a um, there's such a false sets sense of comfort for those people in those negative feelings, and they just sit in it and they perpetuate it, and they will tell anyone who wants to listen, and they'll try to tell people that don't want to listen all about their problems instead of like what you said, like it really, yes, we should stay away from people, places, and things to a degree early on in sobriety, right? I you know, Lake Worth, Florida was no good for me for a little while when I first got sober, but you bring up a great point, Corey. It's like how quickly are we doing the spiritual exercises to get well? Because when I'm well and I'm free and I don't have the alcoholic mind, the obsession is gone, and I am I have healthy practices in my life, healthy boundaries in my life, I'm I'm daily prayer med, you know, all the stuff we just talked about, helping others, going to recovery groups, having a mentor, maybe being a mentor. Like I can go anywhere and do anything that other free men go and do. And that is the most beautiful thing about our program. But to your point, doesn't mean I always want to either. You know what I mean? Like, like sometimes I just would rather go home and watch the game on my TV in my underwear on my couch rather than going out to a bar and you know all that stuff. And I mentioned it last week, but I I spent a few days in Orlando at a work conference and I saw one of my old friends that I used to drink with. And man, I'll tell you what, um, Dan, you weren't on, but I I was up there and he he lives up there now. And I drank with him for like four or five years. I lived with him for a while, and we drank and partied hard together. And and he did some drugs, but not nothing like I was doing. But he he drank. And I I would have told you back then he was an alcoholic, but he he could just at he could just he could go to work. He could go to work and he was still we were still in high school. He could go to high school and he made money, and he was able to stop or moderate with sufficient reason. And and he lives a good life now. He's married, he's got kids, got a great job. He still, I think, drinks and smokes a little weed, does a few things here and there, but like not an issue for him. And just sitting there though, I I can see I think the difference is I was completely aware of it, and I saw I could like almost see these thoughts in real time, but I can see how an unrecovered person, a person who is not so strong with their spiritual foundation, you start hanging out even years later, you start hanging out with people that you used to hang out with, and you stray away from the routine of recovery and what we do on a daily basis, day in and day out. For someone, how the insanity of alcohol can return. You know what I mean? And I I wasn't obviously there long enough, nor was I even remotely in danger of that. But I it was kind of interesting to see, I could see how that happens for people. You know, you stop going to what you're doing, you stop talking to people, you stop hanging with recovery people, and you just start hanging with other people and they're drinking and they're carrying on, and and I can see how it it it uh can start to look like a good time again. We can start to believe the lie again, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so I I feel like I feel like it's a hard distinction if you're like going to a place with somebody for them to drink and get hammered. You know what I mean? Like I'll go to parties and stuff like that with people and all that jazz, but like if you're like your buddy comes up to you and he's like, he's like, Oh, I'm gonna go to the bar and tie one on and stuff, I'm probably not gonna go, man. Right. That's the sound. Calm around fun, you know. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. You know, like that's like you know, like it'd be around it and stuff like that, but don't be, you know. I mean, that's why you got mentors and stuff, though, man. You know, early we took we just we just like safeguard it for everyone. Like, early on, don't do this, but that's why you have mentors and that's why you go to recovery groups. You don't really need to make that decision if you're really into it and you're really trying to get sober, you're asking people, what should I do here?

SPEAKER_01

And you're listening, you're for the most part taking those suggestions and stuff, you know. I'll never forget, real quick, I'll never forget. I went uh bowling. I think I might have told a story in the pod, and it's not a crazy story, but I went bowling with a bunch of work friends at like, I don't know, I want to say I was like six or eight months sober, and I was fine. I I wasn't, I didn't want to drink, but I was like super aware of like that cocaine dart coming around the corner. I was watching everything. I'm taking the long route to go to the bathroom so I don't walk past the bar. Like I was and I was unrecovered and I was active in recovery at that point, but I hadn't had the awakening. I I had not recovered at that point. I was still in the process of it, and it was fine, it was fun, but I left that night, and I guess I was maybe a little more aware and recovered than I thought because I did have the understanding and the awareness of like, oh, maybe that's not a good idea quite yet to do that. I was alone, I wasn't with any other recovery people. I didn't have um, I was riding the electric scooter at that time, but I didn't bring it with me. Like one of my coworkers picked me up, so I didn't have my own exit strategy and my own transportation, and it was just it got a little uncomfortable towards the end. Um, one of the guys like got drunk and was like, here, hold this as he bowled and like just handed me his beer, and I just kind of like took it. So but I'll never forget, here's the cool thing. Like, six months later, I did the same thing with almost the same group of people, and it was a totally different experience. I had a blast, I wasn't worried about anything, I was in the moment, I was safe and protected. I could because I had recovered from that seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

SPEAKER_02

It's so fun, dude. It's so funny to watch them. It's so funny to watch them, watch them in act as it goes, man. It really is. When you get to that point, man, and you can just enjoy yourself, it really is fun, man. And then you also know that you're going home and tomorrow morning you're gonna wake up and feel amazing.

SPEAKER_04

I think a certain amount of like fear the first time or two that you do something like that in recovery is almost healthy. Because if if you're not, like I because I've gone into situations with a ton of just cockiness and and egoism, like in in prior sense of abstinence, sobriety, whatever. And uh I was just full of it. You know what I mean? I was just just I was full of shit. And um, dude, I remember at two years sober going back to New Jersey to handle my court stuff, and I remember like being like I don't know, in my head a little bit about what it would be like to be back in Camden, New Jersey, because that whole city was a fucking trigger in dreaming. You know what I mean? And uh and but when I got there, it was um like it you it's not like you don't think about how you used to get high on every fucking corner or whatever. Like you do. It's it's like a reality. You go, oh yeah, like this is this place sucks. I remember this. And but I also like walked past, it was freezing. It was like I think it was March and it was still cold up there. And I think it just snowed, honestly. And I walked past like a homeless dude, like sleep sleeping on cardboard, much like I had several times. And I I was at I was at least recover well, I was two years sober, I was pretty recovered at that point pertaining to the obsession. Um But I remember thinking like how grateful I should be. And I'm walking into a courthouse where I have no idea what's about to happen, but I was still grateful that I wasn't where he was anymore.

SPEAKER_00

And you know but yeah, it's well I mean it's you know, it's like I I I don't wake up every morning with uh myself feeling like there's a high probability that I'm gonna get hit by a car, but I also don't go play in traffic either, you know.

SPEAKER_04

Right. So good point. I mean I I do play in traffic, but well that's for other reasons. Yeah, that's living dangerous, baby.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. That's when the kids are being jerks, yeah, yeah. And the wife, I'm just like, yeah, I'm gonna go play in traffic for a little bit. That's my go-to. I said, hey, I'm uh I'm gonna go lay naked in the road. Thanks, guys. Why you gotta be naked though? Always, always gotta be naked, bro. You gotta make a scene. I'm Dan.

SPEAKER_04

That's right.

SPEAKER_00

This is America.

SPEAKER_04

Hey, there's like uh a white naked dude with cornrows uh hanging out in the street over there.

SPEAKER_00

Running down the street. He's got a diaper on and he's got a bow and arrow. I don't know what's going on, but oh man.

SPEAKER_01

Janine Janine said the the crackheads downtown in her down where her downtown office playing traffic. Yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uh you should come check out Cleveland sometime.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, Columbus is popping, bro.

SPEAKER_01

It's like that thing I showed you guys, the uh tweaker geographic thing on YouTube. Oh yeah. Did you guys watch it though? It's so funny.

SPEAKER_00

I've seen a ton of them.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they're so funny.

SPEAKER_02

I love pulling up to the intersections and you see the sleepers. You see the sleeve, they're just like they're standing up, but they're dead asleep, bro.

SPEAKER_01

I you know what's funny? I still drive around town and I'll see like little cutoffs in certain roads or in the woods, and I'm I always think, oh, that'd be a good place if I was homeless. Like, I don't still 15 years later, and I'm still like scoping out, like that's a good place. I'd sleep there if I was homeless.

SPEAKER_04

That's a beautiful thing, though, Sean. That's a beautiful thing because then you know, hey, I'm still an alcoholic. Yeah, oh yeah, no good thing to know.

SPEAKER_01

I still scope out like areas that would be good, like, oh, that's got good cover, it's it's not, you know, it's well, it's not well populated, so that's good. I could be left alone, you know. So it it it all brings me to kind of my last point of for this night is this term, and we've all heard it, but like emotional sobriety, right? Because I do believe that uh to take uh a quote from uh a great man in recovery um who wrote a piece on this a long, long time ago. You can look it up. Um, it's called Emotional Sobriety, The Next Frontier. I won't tell you the author or anything like that, but you can look it up if you want. It's a it's a it's a pretty decent read. It'll take you a little bit, take you five, ten minutes to read it, but it's really, really good and it's in depth. And it's just this idea, you know, the idea of how to like manage, regulate, and accept our feelings without relying on the substance or destructiveness or whatever the case may be. And we all sum that up in like as spiritual fitness, right? To the the quote, you know, secular world and the clinical world, it would be, you know, like I just said, you know, regulating emotions and managing emotions and being accepting of our past and you know, not you know, getting down to root causes, but we would call it spiritual fitness. But I do think it's huge, man, because you we we put the drink and the drug down, we get good jobs or jobs in general, we get healthy physically, we get a place to live, whether it's halfway or somewhere else, maybe a vehicle. And like, yeah, like life does start to get better from that. But as we've all pointed out many, many times, and we've talked about tonight, it doesn't stop there. It actually, that that's just the beginning of it, really, right? Because we have this spiritual journey we have to go on, and these spiritual exercises and this process we go through to continue to deflate our ego, to clear away the wreckage of our past, to give freely of what we have found, to join others on that road, that happy road, that that high road to a new freedom, you know. So let's real quick we'll end the show with just a couple words on what emotional sobriety is to you or or anything about that. Corey, I'll kick it to you first.

SPEAKER_04

I just think that emotional sobriety is the actual journey that we're taking. You know what I mean? Um the obsession the drink or use gets solved pretty quickly when you do the right things, honestly. Like within a few months. I I can't remember the last time I I obsessed over a drink or a drug. Um I remember the last time I thought about one, it was actually the other day. It was funny. But I can't remember the last time I actually like felt the urge, compulsion, anything like that. It was it was within my first couple months of being sober, I think. And you know, that's by the grace of God. Um emotional sobriety is a totally different story, and it it's been up and down for me, and I used to think that meant it I mean, well, it usually does mean I'm doing something wrong, but uh but I really was down on myself about not being as good as at it as I thought other people were, um but in comparison to Thief of Joy for sure, and um a wise man said indeed. So um Yeah, I don't know. That's uh that's the journey for me. That's really all I can say about it. Danny P emotional sobriety.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean emotional sobriety to me, man, is uh really like catastrophic. You know what I mean? Like uh ups and downs, you know, whether like I always know no matter what that I'm going to be okay. Yeah, and emotion emotionally that regulates me to handle situations that I wouldn't have been able to handle after the obsessions removed and stuff, you know what I mean? Like beforehand, I would never be able to handle these things, and you know, when things go bad or you know, whatever things in my life go bad, things for my child go bad, things at work go bad, and stuff like that. That emotional sobriety for me is for me to take that step back and act the things that were taught and that I read and that I learned, you know what I mean, to basically stabilize, you know. For me, it's really just catastrophics, man. It stabilizes everything, up, down, mad, happy, glad, all that stuff to where it's like I'm on stable footing, just like we talked about having that foundation, it's like an emotional foundation to be able to handle things in life and always be okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Greg, before you go, do you remember? Do you remember what I had you write down in your book a long, long time ago about the definition of being recovered?

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_01

Or one of them.

SPEAKER_00

When my internal oh god, I'm gonna butcher when when my internal condition is not dictated by external circumstances.

SPEAKER_01

Amen. And that's that's pretty much a button.

SPEAKER_00

That's the closest thing uh you get to being a Jedi, I think. Um so yeah, I think um, you know, definitely what you guys have said, and I think just to piggyback it on is how to do life 101, you know. Um, because just because we get sober, just because we become uh recovered and and and you know, Corey, I'm right there with you. Like I cannot remember the last time that I actually obsessed uh about you know um drinking or drugging, and like that's that was removed. It was removed a long time ago, but it doesn't mean that I know how to do life right, it doesn't mean that I'm going to react in certain situations um as well as I should. And I I like what you said too, Dan, about like it could go either way, dude. Like, you know, um you know, thankfully I have learned certain disciplines and I've I've grown up a little bit, but like you know, this new job I'm starting. I mean, um I'm making a significant more uh a larger amount of money than I was making in my previous position. And it's like you know, old me would have relaxed relied completely off of impulse. I'm gonna go buy this and I'm gonna go buy that, I'm gonna go do something dumb, and I'm gonna treat myself to a vacation because I deserve it, you know, and all this, that, and the other. And it's like, yeah, uh those are not things that you know I that are at the forefront of my mind right now. Right now, I'm saving and putting away and making sure like my family's taken care of and stuff like that, so it can it can work on both sides of it, uh, but how to uh be a grown-up and react to certain situations and you know, uh the catastrophes for sure, you know, and it doesn't just mean um me running and burning my life down all over again because something bad happened, but how do I react as a man to those situations? How do I react as as a fiance, as a leader, as a as a father figure, a role model, a coworker, a brother, you know, a son. How do I react to those situations, hopefully with a little bit of dignity and grace, you know, and not and not uh come off as as the guy that's uh spontaneous and and all over the place and and doesn't know how to hold his own or hold his cool.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. So great great discussion tonight, guys, all the way around. I want to I wanna leave, I'll seed my time and I want to read a quick quote from that that piece of literature I was just talking about, uh emotional sobriety, the next frontier, and uh I think this kind of sums it up. If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find that the root of it is the root of it is some unhealthy dependency and it's consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God's help, continually surrender these hobbling demands, then we can be set free to live and to love. So love it. So thank you, boys. Great show tonight. Shout out to our listeners. Please like, follow, and share on all socials at TrudgeReport Pod. Email us, TrudgeReportPod at yahoo.com. Send in your mailbag request for topics, questions, and comments to any of these handles. Remember, we are all here if anyone wants to talk about recovery and our experiences, or if you are struggling with some form of addiction. Thank you as always to Janine and Stella Mix Podcast Management. Good night, God bless, and may you trudge the road of happy destiny. We'll see you next week. Cheers.