Spiritual Awakening: The Ground of Love

New Years Resolutions You'll Actually Stick To (EP25)

• OLIVIA FRAZAO

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Set New Year’s resolutions that actually stick. This episode helps you create a meaningful and sustainable new years' resolution (or support your existing one). We'll cover effective goal setting, choosing the right priorities for the new year, and building simple habits and systems for long-term success. This is a very actionable episode: get ready for reflection prompts and to follow through on action steps.

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This podcast show is for people dedicated to spiritual awakening, spiritual practice, psychology, healing work, collective healing and awakening, and global positive social change. 

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4:18 - New Years Question 1

7:29 - New Years Question 2

 8:51 - New Years Question 3

14:37 - Your New Years Resolution is:

16:52 - Why Most New Years Resolutions Don’t Stick and How Yours Can

18:59 - Accountability and Structure List for Success

19:25 - #1 - Witnesses

20:13 - #2 - Accountability

21:10 - #3 - Professionals

21:37 - #4 - Structure

23:20 - #5 - Deeper Meaning

27:29 - New Years’ Blessing


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This podcast show explores meditation, mindfulness, consciousness, spiritual awakening, and spiritual growth, with a strong focus on personal healing, trauma healing, emotional healing, and somatic healing. We dive into nonduality, embodied spirituality, the true self, life purpose, and spiritual practice, while also addressing shadow and integration themes like spiritual bypass, ego-death, root causes, and holistic healing. Episodes draw from psychology and attachment theory, as well as ancient wisdom traditions, esoteric wisdom, energy healing, and indigenous wisdom, offering grounded insights for seekers on a path of inner healing, wholeness, and deeper realization.

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Keywords for the show: meditation, mindfulness, consciousness, spiritual awakening, spiritual growth, personal healing, trauma healing, emotional healing, somatic healing, inner healing, nonduality, embodied spirituality, wholeness, grounded spirituality, life purpose, spiritual practice, enlightenment, realization, the true self, ego-death, spiritual bypass, attachment theory, psychology, root causes, holistic healing, energy healing, ancient wisdom traditions, esoteric wisdom, esotericism, indigenous wisdom, bhakti, Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, sangha, Divine Will, spiritual ascension, collective awakening, collective healing, global ascension, connecting with angels, and connecting with spiritual guides.

Keywords for this episode: Spiritual teacher, spiritual guru, false guru

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is there anything that could be a good bang for your buck here? Which means it is low hanging fruit. It's not that difficult to implement. And at the same time, it could actually have a pretty noticeable impact. Welcome to the Ground of Love. I'm your host, Olivia Frazao. This is a podcast for people who are deeply dedicated to the spiritual journey. You are here for self-growth care, for others, and being of service to the world. This podcast is in service to you to help you remember who you are and why you are here, you will receive inspiration, clarity, and no BS Love. We are walking each other home. Let's begin. Happy New Year everybody. Here we are at the start of a new beginning. It is so important and helpful for us to use particular events, particular thresholds in time to mark the end of a phase and the beginning of a new phase. There was a study done. Where people interviewed people at the end of life, people who are elderly, and found out that there was a particular thing that certain people did who were much happier than the people who were not as happy. Can you guess what? It might have been a certain way of experiencing or viewing their lives. I'll tell you, it was seeing their life in particular phases. Cutting time into buckets, let's say where, oh, this was the period when I was experiencing this, or this was the period when this happened. And it allows us to have to chunk our lives into little worlds where maybe we experience life in a certain way. We go through maybe a particular job or a particular relationship, or we can consider it on a deeper level. Where do we have these turning points within ourselves where we choose healing or we choose a change that will benefit us? Or when we choose to finally move on from something that no longer serves, or when we choose to finally focus on our goals and we actually follow through with them, life has these moments where we allow ourselves to say. Yesterday was the past. Tomorrow is the choice that I'm stepping into. Let me think consciously about that choice and actually choose and actually follow through with what it is that I'm choosing. This is what New Year's actually offers us. So let's take that invitation and consider together today what are our New Year's resolutions. And most importantly, we are going to tackle the issue that most people who set New Year's resolutions don't stick with them. Why is that? And what do we need to make sure that we will actually follow through on what we tell ourselves is important and is worth it and what we actually want. So let's figure out together two main things in this episode. One. What is your New Year's resolution? And two, how can you actually stick to it? Some people here will already have a New Year's resolution. Totally cool. Stay with me. This is also for you. Some people here haven't gotten around to it yet. Now is your chance. What I'm gonna do here with you guys, for those who have a resolution and those who don't, is to ask you three main questions. And I highly recommend for everyone to answer these whether you have a resolution or not, because I fully trust that it will support you regardless. One more thing, before we start these three questions. It doesn't matter if you're multitasking, driving, cooking, whatever. For those of you who are gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna pause this and then save it, and I'll get back to it later when I'm ready. Guess what? You can still do that later again, but right now. Let yourself participate and let's just see what happens. Wherever you're at, it'll get the ball rolling. It'll get you to start thinking, okay, doesn't have to be perfect. You can always redo it later. Here we go. Here's the first question. What is most important to you? So we actually have an entire podcast episode related to this question. It's episode 21. If you haven't listened, go ahead and look for that. It's called How You Sabotage Your Spiritual Growth. What do you really want? So that theme is what we're answering right now. So right now, just humor me, humor yourself. Let yourself simply answer that question. I know it's a huge question. Oh, but I wanna sit and contemplate for three hours. Oh. But I wanna have a, a walk in the woods and then I'll be calm, and then I'll ask myself. No, we're just gonna answer it right now. Let yourself answer it out loud and let's just see what shows up. The question is, what is most important to you? What is most meaningful to you? What most matters to you? Three ways of asking the same question. Maybe some examples might be my family, my kids feeling at peace, healing, being of service, or maybe it's a little more intangible like truth. Love. So if it's a little intangible, that's great. That is your umbrella topic, and then we can physicalize it a little bit or make it a little bit more tangible so that we can actually see how that shows up in daily life. So if you haven't done that yet, go ahead and consider what does it mean to engage with, to be in relationship with whatever it is that you just chose, that's most important to you. What is your relationship with that thing, person, place, or thing? How can you engage in what is most important to you in a way that is most fulfilling and most important. For example, oh, my kids are most important. Then this is about spending time with my kids or protecting my kids or making sure that my kids feel loved. Let yourself get a little bit specific. Maybe feeling at peace if that's your general thing. Okay? What does that actually mean? When do you feel at peace? What does peace actually feel like to you in day-to-day life? So I'm gonna ask again, and I'm gonna pause a little bit so that you can answer. Ready? What is most important to you? What is most meaningful to you? What most matters to you? Okay, so do you have something? Last chance? If you don't have something, find it now. Doesn't have to be perfect. Just feel it in your heart. Okay. Next question. What distracts you from this? What takes you away from what you're saying is most important and most meaningful to you? it could be something in the outer world or it could be something in your inner world. How do you end up prioritizing other things? How do you end up delaying, engaging in that way? What's the mechanism? What do you actually do? That sabotages your full participation in what you have just determined is most important to you. What is it? What's in the way? Let's say you picked, I wanna feel more peaceful. What's in the way? Oh, my spouse, who I always get into arguments with. Okay, let's go deeper than that. What's in the way inside of you that makes you engage in those arguments in a way that takes you out of your own peace We're looking at what is between you and the thing that you say is most important to you, the thing that ultimately you most want. What is pushing you slightly in a different direction from where you really want to be? So question number three, what gets you back on course? What gets you back home to home base? To this center point of what is most important in your life, to your full participation, or at least your greater participation in what you have determined is most meaningful to you. What counters that distraction? Now, if it's something really vague, like, my goal is peace. That's what's most important to me. My distraction is the fact that I get into fights with my partner so my solution is that I shouldn't fight with my partner so much. That is way too high level still. Okay, so let's get more specific and more tangible. I get into fights with my partner. Okay, this is gonna be no victimization here. This is gonna be full creatorship. Okay. Where is the piece that's mine in that 50 50? Me and my partner. But the whole point is I can only control myself. So we're gonna take a hundred percent of our attention and put it on our 50% of those argument loops. Where am I engaging in these fights? What is that exact moment? When I have three seconds to choose not to engage the way that I usually do, or to fall into the trap once again and just loop around the way that we always tend to follow those typical roles and reactions with each other. That is the little piece that we're honing in on. Okay. When I say How am I distracted from peace? Oh, it's in those three seconds that my partner does this thing. That irritates me right between when I get irritated and when I always react to my partner in this particular way. That's the little area that we're honing in on. Okay. Now, of course, now that we're at number three, we're looking at the solution. Then the solution would be what is a new habit that I can insert in those three seconds that I can practice over time until I actually reroute literally my brain structure to not go through those same loops anymore. Let's take another example. Let's say it's my family is the most important to me. I'm honing that down to my children. I'm honing that down to time with my children is most important to me, and now I'm looking at what's the thing that takes me away from that? My work, my schedule. Let's get more specific. Way more specific. Okay. Most people can't change their work hours. Are you able to even by 15 minutes, if not totally. Okay. Let's look at other times. How much screen time are you using? How can you optimize the time you do have with your kids? Is there a way that something can be delegated to someone else, or is there a way that your child can join you in some type of. Cooking or some type of house cleaning tasks so that you guys can actually have more bonding time during that time. Or maybe rather than trying to multitask while playing with your child, maybe you just get the task done faster while your child is doing something else. And then when you do have that last, let's say 10 minutes, all you do is focus a hundred percent on your child rather than constantly being 50% doing something else'cause you're trying to multitask. This is not about getting stuck in, oh, there's no solutions, or I'm the victim, or everything is too big or complicated. The whole point here is we're wanting to get very specific and we're wanting to hone down on one aspect of this issue. Okay, so we're starting really, really broad, and then we're just getting in on a linchpin. Now, what makes this the biggest bang for our buck is when we think about question number three, which is. What is a solution to rerouting back from that distraction towards what we really want? We wanna look at what's the low hanging fruit and what has the biggest positive impact. Okay? So for those who love lists or writing things down or seeing things visually, you can make two columns and Here's the first column question. consider what are the easy low hanging fruit action steps that I could take. That doesn't take much time or energy or money, and, and write those down and then consider we're on the other column now, consider what are things that I could do that could actually have a pretty noticeable impact. and forget whether or not they're fully possible or actionable right now. Not necessarily low hanging fruit might be farfetched, but it'll get your creative juices flowing. So let yourself be a little. Imaginative here because it gets us thinking outside of the box. Oftentimes when we're stuck in a particular situation, we're in a groove where we're not seeing from other vantage points. Just like when you're a kid and you do those mazes, where you're drawing with the pen within the maze, then you end up in a part that's stuck. You need to turn around. And go back, but better still. If you look from the bird's eye view, vantage point, you can see the whole thing at once. You can notice, oh wow, there's actually all these other potential routes. Okay? That's what we're doing right now. Okay. Maybe it's possibilities. Okay. Everything can change based on what our true prioritization is and with time and with support, or extra resources or courage or creativity. Once you've done those two lists, is there anything that could be a good bang for your buck here? Which means it is low hanging fruit. It's not that difficult to implement. And at the same time, it could actually have a pretty noticeable impact. Even if it takes time, even if it takes repetition, even if it takes trial and error. It's something that you can actually see or feel the impact of in a way that you're excited about, in a way that you could feel hopeful about. That's your answer to question number three, which is what is something that I can do that will help me get out of this whirlpool of distraction that I got caught in and back to my number one priority. So whatever that is, we're gonna get really specific and detailed about it. We're gonna cut it into actionable steps, and we're gonna pick what is the first step that is your New Year's resolution. That's it. And then maybe you have the next step and the step after that, because maybe your first step takes three seconds. Great. Or maybe it takes six months to really practice. So it depends on you. But that is what I would say would be the New Year's resolution. Why? Because it's centered in what's most important to you. You're not taking an off the shelf idea like, oh, my siblings are all saying they wanna lose weight, so I'm gonna lose weight too. No, we're gonna do something that is meaningful to you, that is meaningful to what your greatest priorities are, because then whatever action steps these are, they're gonna take you towards the bullseye of your life. They're not gonna be a random improvement. Like, oh, it'd be nice to play tennis. Maybe I'll take up tennis. But why? Let's go to the core. What is the biggest bang for your buck is gonna be something that's gonna take you to what is most meaningful and important. That's why we started there with question number one, and we're reverse engineering from question number two. Whatever it is that's keeping us away from that, and then we have finally found whatever the solution is in question number three. What is one actionable step that I can take has to be actionable for me to actually get past that distraction or that sabotage and move towards closer to that which I'm saying is most important to me. Okay. It doesn't have to be perfect, but if you are with me still and you've been thinking about this, potentially speaking out loud to yourself, potentially chatting with someone else about this or maybe journaling. You have at least had some food for thought. So let's take this forward. Let's go to the second part of this episode, which is how do we actually stick to this, right? Most people don't. So we are gonna look at why and what we can do instead. Why most New Year's resolutions don't stick. Most people's New Year's resolutions fail because they are choosing goals for the wrong reasons. This is why, as I said, we started with what's most important to us. Most people's New Year's resolutions fail because They're too vague. So first, let's check. If our New Year's resolution is tangible and actionable, can you actually in this moment, close your eyes or in your mind's eye? If you're driving, please don't close your eyes. In your mind's eye, can you actually walk yourself through a scenario where this New Year's resolution is now happening? Visualize it. What are you doing or what are you doing differently? Even if it's something internal like, oh, I wanna change negative thoughts to positive thoughts, that in and of itself is tangible and actionable. It doesn't have to be something that you see with your five senses. It can be an internal, mental, or emotional healing process. But let yourself walk yourself through the imagination of actually experiencing it. We're gonna do that one more time. Humor me. Just go with me here. You can do it. Okay. By the way, the more you visualize what it is that you wanna do, the more you will actually do it and be successful at doing it. They did these tests on basketball players who imagined doing free throw shots over and over and over again simply in their head. And they actually improved much, much better compared to people who did not do that imagining. So imagining yourself doing something is very successful. And often people say that your brain actually doesn't know the difference between what you're imagining and what you're physically doing. So that is one way that you can actually up the odds of whenever you are physically following through with whatever you've chosen for you to actually be more successful at it. Okay. Most people's New Year's resolutions fail because Most people don't have structure and accountability for following through with these goals. So now we're gonna go to that. Okay. Let's consider how to create. A structure that holds us and an accountability that holds us. I'm gonna go through a list. Okay. See how many you've done or how many you could do. Number one, telling a few people who you care about, who care about you. Let's say three people about your New Year's resolution, sharing it with other people simply to be witnessed for you, saying it out loud, and if this might be people who you talk to often, maybe someone at work, maybe someone at home. These are people who you can ask to please ask you how it's going. Hey, family member. This is my New Year's resolution. I really wanna stick to it. I give you full permission to be like, John, you told me that you are gonna eat healthy. Why is it that you're eating cake at midnight? I give you full permission to hold me accountable. To what I'm telling you right now is my goal. So you have more eyes on you, not just yourself. That can help. The second thing is you can actually find someone who can be your accountability buddy. What's an accountability buddy? This is a peer, okay? A friend, family member. Could be someone on the other side of the world. Doesn't matter, but it's someone that you check in with and you don't have to have the same goals. Maybe your goal is you wanna get more fit, which means you wanna run a couple times per week. And the other person's goal is that they want to learn a foreign language, and so they want to read a couple books in that language by the end of the year. You guys can check in with each other, let's say maybe once a week or once a month. At a planned calendar time that you guys both put in your calendar and agree to ahead of time to review how it's been going for each of you, and then you share what you did, what you didn't do, why, and what you're gonna do that next week or that next month. Number three. This is similar to the previous one, but rather than having a peer where you're both being accountable to each other, you are with a professional where they are holding accountability for you. So, for example, a life coach, a therapist, et cetera, someone who you can check in with, who knows what your goal is, who can actually help you hone your goal in the first place, and you schedule it, so you gotta stick to it. And then with them, they're gonna hold you accountable. Number four, find a structure that will support you and sign up for it. For example, you're signing up for a new course. Maybe you want to deepen your mindfulness capacity. It's easy to say that you wanna meditate more. It's much easier to meditate more when you actually join a meditation group. Now some people do sign up for, let's say, to go to a gym, but then they don't end up going to the gym. So even if you sign up for something, how do you know you're actually going to attend? Here are two ways. Number one, very obvious, but make sure you actually do it. Change your calendar schedule. To accommodate the fact that you are now prioritizing this new activity in your life in a real way, and you are blocking out that time and nothing else is allowed to be scheduled during that time. The like, oh, when I have time, I'll go to the gym. Version of going to the gym means that you're going to be scrolling on Instagram or on the phone with a friend who needs your help or getting a couple extra work hours in. The other way that actually helps you attend whatever it is that you said you were going to do is to sign up or go with a friend. If you're gonna meet your friend at the gym every Tuesday and Thursday, you're more likely going to actually go, if you're going to go to this Vipassana retreat with a friend, you are more likely to actually go. And the last thing is reminding yourself why this small, actionable, tangible step is important to you? It has to be small because when we make too big of a goal, it gets overwhelming and we don't even know where to start, or we become perfectionistic and we wait until we're perfect to start. And of course we're never gonna be perfect, so we wait forever. This is why it's a small step, but we also need to keep the bigger picture. Why is this small step important? Because we have the greater context of understanding that this is the biggest bang for our buck in actually going towards what we have determined is most important to us. How can we keep ourselves focused on that good feeling or that good outcome? So let's do the examples that I already did before. We can have a photo of our kids. On our work desk to remind ourselves that staying an extra half hour just to finish a couple documents if no one's actually forcing us to stay at the office simply because, oh, it's just easier to do it right now, or, oh, someone's gonna be happy with me if I do it, to remind us to actually leave work on time when we're able to, because our kids are waiting for us and that's our priority. Or the peace one, remember the example where we're fighting with our spouse. So let's say we put a photo of a happy time between us and our spouse. Let's say we're hugging or something, and we put it in each room of the house. So then we're fighting and then our eyes dart to the photo and we're like, oh yeah, oops, this is actually what I really want. This can also be maybe something on the lock screen of your phone that gives you a special phrase or has a special photo about the thing that you most care about. Where you remember, this is my home base. This is my goal, this is what I'm really going for. This is what makes everything worth it. Because we need to practice, we need repetition. So those are the two main topics that I had said I wanted to cover with you guys during this episode. I wanna add a quick third topic here before we close, which is this podcast show is about the spiritual path. It's for people who within their own heart feel that this stuff is really important to them. So here's a quick plug for actionable spirituality. Ultimately, it doesn't matter how many marvelous, esoteric experiences you've had, it doesn't matter what your beliefs are or what you have faith in or how you see the cosmology of reality in the whole universe, what truly matters is are you living out that spirituality in daily life in a way where you are more compassionate, generous, caring, understanding, forgiving, and peaceful with yourself and with others? So if you said in number one that spirituality is most important to you. What I wish for is to see how are we seeing tangible improvements in the way that you are caring towards yourself and in the way that you are caring towards other people. Because ultimately, that's what spirituality truly is. You know, when people say everything I need to know. I learned in kindergarten. I think there's a book called that. That's where we're getting really honest about what spirituality is. It's about sharing and caring what we're taught in kindergarten. The problem is that nobody actually does it, even through adulthood. So if you happen to have a goal that is around, oh, I'm gonna go to the temple more, or I'm gonna read the Bhagavad Gita this year, finally, or I'm gonna meditate more. That's great. Fantastic. And I am curious, and you can find out for yourself, I'm curious. How all of those things will reveal within yourself, a more loving relationship with yourself and a more loving relationship between you and others. That's what I hope for myself. That's what I hope for you. That's what I hope for everyone. Thank you for listening. Feel free to share in the comments. What New Year's resolution you chose or any questions or comments you might have about the topics in this episode, and that is always an invitation for all episodes. Of course. Blessings to you. May this new year bring a fresh start. May this new year be an opportunity to turn the page. May this new year be the opportunity to let go of the past because it is now the past. May this new year, be the year where you step into the future, that for a long time you have been waiting for blessings. Blessings, blessings. thank you for being with me in The Ground of Love. You can follow this podcast to receive the next episodes, and who is it that comes to mind to share this episode with? Who Could Benefit? Is it a family member? A friend, a client, who would be inspired, reminded of what matters to them by being in our energy that we've shared here today. So please go ahead and pass this along to them and go ahead and leave a review or a rating if you wish. I thank you for that. For other offerings that I provide, you can go to the ground of love.com I also provide one-on-one healing sessions and I will also be offering a group membership. All of that is on the website, the ground of love.com. Blessings to you. May you be protected, held, regenerated centered. And taken forward with all light, love, truth and highest and best health and wellbeing on all levels and taken forward to make the greatest, most beautiful impact doing exactly what you're here to do. God bless you. Protection, grace, protection, grace. So it is.