Cringe, Desperate & Fully Liberated: Thought Patterns I’m Leaving Behind in 2025

This one’s for the people who are tired of being polite, small, and quietly suffering in the name of being “appropriate.” In this episode, I’m dragging some of the most toxic, outdated, socially acceptable thought processes straight to the curb—because in 2025, we’re not taking the bait anymore.

Let’s talk about purity culture—not the Instagram-aesthetic version with beige dresses and modest captions. I’m talking about the real, insidious kind that uses morality to shame women, keep girls quiet, and strip people of their autonomy. It’s not about being “virtuous”—it’s about being controlled.

And can we finally bury the fantasy that your life starts after a husband shows up? Sorry, no one is coming to save you. Your soulmate isn’t a retirement plan. Financial independence, emotional safety, and your own damn agency are what we’re after now.

We’re also pulling the plug on the “what if they find me cringe” inner monologue. Let them cringe. Let them flinch. Cringe is how confidence is born. If you’re not willing to be embarrassing, you’re not willing to be seen.

Then there’s the epidemic of people holding themselves back because they’re afraid of looking desperate. As if wanting something disqualifies you from deserving it. No. Desperation is not a flaw—it’s just clarity with urgency. Say what you want. Ask for what you need. Let them deal with it.

And finally, we’re shedding the suffocating armor of hyper-independence. You’re not stronger because you struggle alone. You’re just lonely. Asking for help doesn’t weaken your power—it amplifies it.

So if you’re ready to start living louder, asking boldly, and taking up space unapologetically—this episode is your permission slip. Or actually, screw permission. This is your reminder that you never needed it in the first place.

In 2025, it’s time to show up with boldness, honesty, and no shame. We’re letting go of outdated thinking and stepping into a version of ourselves that doesn’t shrink to fit others’ comfort. From dismantling #StopPurityCulture to reclaiming power through #DesperateIsPower and #UnashamedDesire, the narrative is changing. We’re done waiting—#SelfMadeWoman and #NoMoreSidekick are the new normal. We’re embracing visibility without fear through #CringeNoMore and owning every unapologetic move with #BoldAndUnapologetic. Let’s build community, ask for support with #AskForHelp, and lean fully into a #2025MindsetShift that puts us at the center of the story. #LeaveYourLimits is the call. Answer it.

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Transcript

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With every point of growth in your life, you need to make this commitment to yourself that I'm going to change and evolve for the better. That involves reassessing and removing things that no longer serve you and adding things that you want to try. Your life is supposed to be experienced. So the more you add on to your plate, the more you try on to things that interest you. That's how you keep yourself young, Happy and moving forward. And even though some things you really, really enjoyed, there is a time for it. There's an age for it. And once you're past that maturity, it's okay. I am parting ways with you. I am leaving because now I have learned. Thank you for being here with my journey for this. And after that, you need to part ways with it. And I know there's a certain sense of nostalgia in it, but that is a part of growing up. Growing up doesn't mean just having a childhood and then for the rest of your life, you're an adult. No, you're growing up every single day. The way your cells in your body act, keeps changing and renewing, you also need to do that with your belief system, with your mindset and with your lifestyle. Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Irreplaceable and I am your host Ira. Today I'm going to tell you some thought processes that need to take a backseat in 2025. We're already halfway there and we've come through this long journey of finding ourselves self-discovery and self-assessment. Now it's time of understanding what cannot serve in this modern world anymore. The world is so quick and fast-paced and if you don't change your belief system, update it and keep up with the times, you will be left in the dust. And that's what this podcast is all about. It's about understanding evolution and being a part of it and keeping up in your 20s. You are the blueprint of youth right now. So, The faster, quicker you learn, adapt and overcome, the easier it is to go through the hurdles of life. And there are some outdated systems and methods that are just going to bring you detriment because that's not how the world works anymore. So the quicker you jump on it, call it a trend, call it a fad, call it the next evolution, the better your future is going to get. And if you're a woman who's listening to my podcast, especially, you need to catch on, babe, because that is how growth is done. Now, the first thing I'm going to start very easy is you need to stop thinking what will people think about you. And I know I yap about it so much, but you become more and more self-conscious as you grow older. Do you know that? Yeah, the older you get, the more you start giving a fuck what other people think about you, what other people say about you and especially how other people view you. So you need to get on to the mindset that, okay, I need to stop caring about that and I need to care about what I feel, what I think about myself and what I want to do. You are not living your life according to other people's terms. You are an independent, mature person. You do not need to take opinions, advice or understand what other people think about you. Never ask other people what do you think. And I know there are a lot of us who have been conditioned since childhood to always get approval, to always get a confirmation, to get a second opinion and a second thought. You know what that makes you? It makes you question your own judgment. It makes you unsure of your abilities to make the right decision. And also, it makes it easier to blame someone when shit goes down. That is called being a responsible adult. Taking responsibility of your own actions and development now is 100% your responsibility. Gone are the times where you could get away with, oh, but you know, I did what they said and that's it. Because now... At this age, if you say that, oh, I was just doing what they told me, and if you say it to other people as a form of justification for what you did, why you did, people are going to be like, are you dumb? Don't you have a brain of your own? Are you mindless that you are listening to people and are you a sheep? So there are certain decisions you have to take by yourself. How long are you going to play it smart, darling? How long are you going to click the safe option of like other people telling you what to do and deciding on what they say and they do and listening to them and understanding or thinking and putting them on a pedestal that their decision and their opinion is much better than yours? No, babes, no. Another important thing that should have waked before gotten discarded in early 2000s is purity culture. It's not morality, it's control. Babes, you have to understand that you're a woman of the modern 21st century. I'm not saying go act like a hoe. I am saying don't let anyone else make you feel like a hoe. What other people think about you shouldn't matter because that is a shame and control tactic. That's patriarchy. That is people exerting control over your body and making decisions for you, what you should do based on their judgment of you. Do you get it? Like, are you that easily controllable that other people will shame you or say something to you and you will be like, yeah, you're right. Yeah. Or like anyone would pass like a judgment or get to judge you and you're giving them that power. Fuck them. It's a patriarchy scam to police women under the disguise of virtue. You don't have to save yourself from anyone. Because why? Does someone else own you? Are you saving yourself to be eaten up later? Are you a product? Do you have a shelf life? Are you like something consumable and what greatness has that other person done to deserve you like that? Why are we putting so much importance on your future husband or wife that you cannot make the decisions because of their needs and what would they have? Are you living for yourself? Are you living for them? It is just a way to control women from expressing their own desires. Anyone who tries to control or even tell you how you should live your sex life or who you should be with, not be with, if you should date, if you should marry, blah, blah, blah. No, cut that noise out. They cannot police you or judge you for it. And if you feel like you're in a situation where these people are judgmental and I'm surrounded by them, do not talk on those topics. It is extremely personal. And if someone tries to talk to you about that, even if it's your date, it doesn't concern them. You are not a report card to be read and judged. No one is going to pass their judgment on you because they cannot unless you give it to them. Don't give them that power. So whoever you kiss, whoever you fuck, whoever you do whatever with is your business and is not up for debate or justification why you did what you did. So neither should you be ashamed for what you did nor should you give a fuck about it. Purity culture needs to leave. It has traumatized way too many people. It has scared off people from intimacy. It has led to anxiety of what the future will hold. It's actually a control tactic. And I'll tell you something, the people who preach about it the most on how to stay pure, how to save yourself, how to protect yourself, what your respect is, what self-respect is, self-worth it. You know, these people who tie these terms to sex and only sex, they are the biggest hypocrites. Do not listen to them. You do you on what your inner compass tells you to do. Your instinct. These are very outdated concepts. Anyone who tries to control a woman or put a label to her worth based on her body count or what she does with her body, who she sleeps with, does not deserve a seat on your table. So, just... Secure your own life. You know, cut that shit out. No one has time for it. Focus on your money. Focus on always getting your money up. And very closely related to it is my next point, which is waiting for a husband to save you. I'll tell you something very honestly. In the back of our heads, a lot of women, because this has been ingrained into us by society, let me tell you, Subconsciously, in the back of your head, you have this thought that even if nothing works out, I'll just marry rich. No, that's not how it works. One, rich people marry rich people. So unless you are rich yourself, you cannot bag a rich husband. Two, a rich man is not an exit plan. If you think you simply marrying rich will, you know, let go of all the troubles you're going through right now. You won't have to work a nine to five. You won't have to pay your bills. When you're not paying in that way, you're paying in some other way. You're paying with your body. You're paying with your mental peace and you have insecurity. What does insecurity mean? I'm not saying self-insecurity. You will have the insecurity that if you get old, if you get sick and And if your husband stops liking you, you can become homeless. That is financial abuse. Your husband can leave you. That's abuse. Staying in that constant anxiety that if I don't keep my husband happy or if I don't shut up and accept his grand, this lifestyle that I've been given, if I'm not grateful enough, I will be kicked out. That is anxiety. you are much better off making your own money having your name printed on every fucking coin you get and getting that paycheck in monthly than living in the uncertainty that today I will get in tomorrow I may not so that exit plan it not always works out and I know some days are hard life is hard for women in general let me tell you that We have been the first women who are given the opportunity to live our life the way we want to and to earn. So I'm telling you, all those years of brainwashing, don't let that get to you. Fight. Be the resistance. Because life gets hard. I know it does. And I know you have these desires. And the best, most idealistic life is to have a happily ever after, right? That we see on Disney, that we see in movies, whatnot. But that's not always the truth. That is a fairy tale. The ideal world and the real world are not the same. And not everyone gets a happy ending. Ask yourself how many women you know who are married in your own periphery around you are happily married. They are... completely settled living that fairytale life, you're much better off working your own money and then finding a capable partner. And even if you find a rich husband, babe, even if you do, make sure you're still working. Make sure that you're not that dependent on him that you give up. Because the only person who should have control over your life is you, no matter how much they love you. No matter, bro. Look at your mom. Look at your mom. You think if that woman would have worked on herself and given all that love and care to herself more than her family, don't you think she would have gone much further? We all know a story of a stay-at-home mom who turned out into having regrets. Please don't become that. And I know it's an inbuilt system in us, but we have to fight it, babes. Please. Do not take being independent as a red flag. You have to protect yourself after a point. Once you're an adult, you're going to fend for yourself because I have seen countless women. I'm a lawyer, let me tell you. I have seen countless women literally break down and shatter when they are in their 50s and 60s, when they get to know that they're getting divorced by their husbands and they get absolutely nothing. And all those years they gave up to service to household chores to growing up you know being a part of the kid's life it doesn't amount to anything tangible so they will not get hired and this lifestyle that they lived of luxury is going to all go away because they don't have the skill set to sustain it and their husband is not going to support it anymore and I'm telling you no amount of alimony is going to help keep that up Don't think of those exceptional cases as your cases. Always take the rule of thumb. So please get this mindset out that a husband is going to come save you. The only person who's coming to save you is yourself. Please believe in yourself, then believe in God, and then maybe believe anyone else. But trust me, do not give people that power. The next thing that's a super outdated concept is people will find me cringe. The single thought has murdered more dreams than failure ever could. And there is this trend I'm seeing in the current generation of people not experiencing life or wanting to go out or be more adventurous and confident because they feel other people will find me cringe. Just yesterday or something, I was out for lunch with a friend and she didn't want to ask for the bill because she thought that's so cringe, bro. And I was like, what? She's like, can you please ask for the bill? I don't want to ask for the bill. And I said, why? And she said that, dude, like, I don't want to look desperate. And I'm like, it's just a bill. Why are you fucking overthinking this? Of course, I'll ask now. But like, what? Like, you're just paying for what you ate. Like, why are you overthinking this? And this is what social media has done. It has made you think, overthink. The small random acts of life into this big thing. Oh, that waiter looked at me funny. Oh, people are looking at me and judging my outfit. I blinked too hard. I smiled too much. Is my hair all right? The back of my hair is not all right. They're probably talking behind my back or something. We overthink so much shit. because we don't want to be cringe you know what's cringe that is cringe overthinking if you're cringe or not is cringe cringe has become like this new thing of gen z like how millennials used to think that oh am i cool or not i want to be cool and then you end up looking stupid that's what's happening you think that oh i don't want to look cringe so i'm going to act nonchalant you look even more stupid let me tell you that and You, on this quest of not being cringe, are denying yourself the vast human experience has to offer you. Things that you could do. People you could talk to. Fun activities you could have. You can't even dance properly because you're so scared people are going to look at you and judge. Just live your life. No one gives a fuck. No one's going to remember this. And even if they do, what? What the hell? How does it fucking matter? They are still... Imagine, they are thinking about you. And you're not thinking about them. Like you are eating so much footage of their life. You have a fan club, darling. If people are busy discussing what you do, what you not do, everything, that means they're giving you importance. I would rather have importance than give someone else the importance that, oh, I'm not going to live my life because they might think I'm cringe. I'm not going to give up that kind of power to someone else. Hell no. I'm living my life for me. I need to get this off my bucket list. I need to get this checked off. And trust me, people who give the least amount of fucks about anything, they're the coolest. No one finds them cringe. Then they become icons. Then they become this cultural sets, you know, like, oh, they're so cool. They're so unafraid. I love that. Be that. Be so confident that even if you're fucking up, that looks fucking cool. So live your life because that's the best thing you could give to yourself. And also understand that if you're afraid of looking cringe, you want to be invisible. And if you live an invisible life, you'll be forgotten. The more you try to fit in The more you try to follow the norm, the more you try to be less problematic or not, like, you know, you don't want people to look at you, talk about you, judge you, whatever. You're irrelevant then. And if that's the life that you want to choose, sure, go ahead. But if you want to do anything substantial in this life, babe, then you have to be cringe. Cringe is a way people shame other people to keep them in control and in check. So remember that the next time you find yourself wondering if people find you cringe. Another thing, not going after what you want because you're scared of looking desperate. I suffered from it and I wasted two years of my life. Know that wanting things out loud is power. Desperation is honesty. It's also how people get what they want. And closed mouths don't get fed. I was so worried that if I'm going to go ask for help or go ask for a recommendation try to you know enter somewhere or just get my way through people let's say I want a position let's say I want a project let's say I want to be a part of something but I don't want to ask because I would look so desperate and they would be like oh my god what a desk for her I'm definitely not giving it to her and instead I'm going to give it to someone who looks like they don't want it and are so mysterious and are standing in a corner said no one ever if you think that you acting nonchalant is going to attract all these opportunities towards you you are extremely mistaken no one can read your mind and if you think that the less bothered i act or the or you know as far away i am from what i want that is that is going to attract that to me it's not going to work That's not how it works. Instead, think of law of assumption. If you want something, you go out there, demand it, you manifest it. You can't sit in your room and manifest that. Okay, I want this. I want this. I want this project. I want this opportunity. I want to manifest this into my life and then not act on it. Your manifestations will only come true if you act on it. Manifesting is the next part. Being lucky is the part after it. The first step is going and demanding and asking for what you want. Hey, I want to be a part of it. Even if you're underqualified, don't feel shame. If you desire it, you have to go for it. Human beings get the feeling of desire because we're born with it. It's a very natural, instinctual feeling. That means your body wants it. It's a shift. You desire it. So you need to act on your feelings. This is something you need to work on. If you think suppressing that desire is is going to make you a more elevated or a bigger person you are just denying yourself the right to live according to your authentic self i'm going to repeat that if you suppress your desire you are denying yourself you're denying yourself from what you want and then years later you go like oh my god i don't know who i am i don't know what i want i don't know what i'm looking for what i should do yeah because you spent so many years of your life denying and suppressing it because you wanted to act cool you wanted to act nonchalant you didn't want to look desperate and look where we are now now you don't even know what you want because you have trained your body in not desiring it And these are the consequences you're suffering from. So please be honest. And I understand if you feel that if I act too desperate, then people will understand that this thing has power over me and they can take it away from me. First, let's reach to that position. Let's reach to that position. Let's be that confident to know that no one has the power to take things away from you, especially if they're meant for you. And the second thing is, the more you desire, work on it, talk about it, work towards it, the higher is the likelihood of you getting that. So try to incorporate that mindset first. And if you are in so much fear that someone is going to know about it or give you the nazar that you don't get it or make sure to sabotage you or go out of your way and do it, no, no. that at right timing, it will happen. When you're an unstoppable force and you're putting so much energy in getting what you want, no matter how much energy the other person puts for you to not have it, your desire, which is true and real, will always overpower their desire to sabotage. You remember that. You are more powerful in wanting something honestly than anyone else trying to block you from getting that dishonestly. Nine out of ten times, it's always going to work out. And the exceptional time, it's not going to work out. It's going to be a redirection. Always understand, you are the rule of thumb. You're not the exception. I'm very, you know, active when I say this. I always say this. Stop thinking that you're the exception. Let's put statistics to it. And let me tell you statistically, anyone who's been anyone, everyone who's been anyone, literally, even a nobody, every time they've wanted something really bad, they've always gotten it 9 out of 10 times. So start being honest to yourself that I really want it, even though it sounds delusional to other people. And you don't have to tell this to everyone. No, no, no, no. Let's say you want to be an influencer. You can't go around telling everyone, I want to be an influencer. I want to be an influencer. And then be scared that they laugh at you. No, you go to another influencer. You tell them, I want to be an influencer. You go tell a business, I want to be an influencer. You go tell an agency, I want to be an influencer. You tell your desires only to those people who have the power to fulfill it. You don't tell it to the people who can criticize, stop, sabotage, or wish bad on what you want. You won't go and tell your boss that oh i want to lose five kgs by summer you would go that and tell that to your gym trainer and you won't tell your gym trainer that oh i want an increment by you know the next cycle of appraisal you go tell that to your boss so you need to understand what conversations to have where your boss cannot help you on your weight loss journey and your gym trainer cannot help you with your appraisal they're just going to be like what the fuck what is she yapping about If you go instead and tell your boss, I want an appraisal. And if you go and you tell your gym trainer that I want to lose five kgs, maybe they can help you. Maybe they can guide you. Maybe they can understand what you actually want and push you towards that direction. So speak into existence in front of people who can make that happen and don't look desperate while at it. Because if you go and say this to your gym trainer, I want an appraisal, I want an appraisal. He'll be like, what the fuck are you yapping about? So what, bitch? I can't help it. And they're going to call you obsessive and they're going to call you crazy. But if you say that to your boss, maybe he can do something about it. So you need to understand what to speak where. Similarly, like I said, that example, you want to be an influencer, you go tell it in rooms of people who can help you on that journey or who are in that journey. They won't criticize you. Anyone who's in the same industry as you won't criticize you for taking up that thing. They would encourage it. Maybe they can even help you out. So speak into existence in the right rooms. I think... This list was enough. I made like a longer list because I want to say so many things. But for now, I think this is enough because these are the thought processes you need to take and put it in the backseat. They need to leave. They need to go actually. Put them out of the door and move forward. Start practicing on this. Start giving this a thought and see how incredibly life-changing it's going to get. By the end of this year, you would thank me. So that's all for today's episode. I'll see you next time. Bye.