Relationship Stress : The Study Of A Glow Down

Ever noticed how some people just dim over time The sparkle in their eyes fades their energy feels off and they start shrinking into versions of themselves that barely resemble who they were That’s not coincidence that’s relational burnout In this episode we’re diving deep into how being in the wrong relationship can literally make you ugly not in a superficial way but biologically psychologically and emotionally

Science backs this up Studies show that toxic or unbalanced relationships elevate cortisol the stress hormone that breaks down collagen disrupts sleep and dulls your skin and mood Chronic relational stress can even rewire your brain’s reward system making you crave validation from the very person who’s draining you And it doesn’t stop at romantic relationships it could be a family dynamic a friendship or any environment where someone constantly feeds off your energy for their own spark

When your relationship feels more like survival than support your body and spirit respond your glow disappears your confidence wanes and your life force feels hijacked You stop recognizing yourself

In this episode I’ll be talking about how to spot those patterns how to reclaim your energy and why protecting your peace isn’t vanity it’s self preservation Because sometimes the biggest glow up isn’t a skincare routine it’s walking away from what’s dulling your shine

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Transcript

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One of the biggest fears I have someone and they're not the realize it at the moment. And then years down, I look at past, and I realize that I used person has totally made me ugly lost my spark. And if you feel the same or know anyone who looks like that, this episode is going to be an eye opener. Hello everyone! Welcome back to another episode of irreplaceable and I am your host, IRA. And recently one of my videos about the look of love. So, you know, when someone is in love, they're glowing, they're growing. You know, like this shine, this It just has its own address. You know, when it walks into the room, you're like, okay, who's that? I know who you are, but what is Who's that? That is the look of love. Like sometimes you see people in they're glowing from within. That's how you know this girl is That's how you know it's drama It's problem free. It's the right one. So if being in the right relationship makes you glow so differently, similarly, you look as uglier when you're in the wrong one. And don't get offended. It's the truth. Because I know people hate the means that you in your best And ugly is not just looks, it's It's your energy. It's the way you're talking. It's the way you're, you know, know, like you're not taking You don't care. You just you've given up to the point that you can't see it yourself. So let me tell you, when look of The look of abuse is also And the look of lack of love is That's why people, even if you have love through your children, through your family, even self love. All of these things have a look the score is whatever you're environment is, it is reflected It's in reflected in the way you And take it. Take it on a bigger scale, okay. Geographically, the whole world, the environment they live in. They have different features, different colors, different hair colors, which is suitable for that environment. And that is done by nature so So when you're in a survival like you're struggling. You look like every day is a And I'll tell you a story of two And I didn't want to bring this This story bothers me so much name and I'm going to tell you, Emma, both of both of them were But what happened is Emma looks good in herself, like she's naturally pretty. She's amazing. And Oliver is a handsome guy. Okay, like, both of them are great in their own aspects, but I feel just because two people are awesome and amazing by themselves, there is no guarantee that they're going to be in the best relationship together. And the only way you know is through compatibility, through testing it out through your friendship. But a lot of people confuse It's not the same thing. Attraction is you're your That person appeals to you. That person looks good to you. But true chemistry is built from knowing that person. What's within, how compatible thought process, your views. And those are the places where most people and most relationships fail. And that's what happened with Oliver and Emma, because them both as an individual were amazing. But the minute they got even like six months into the of them fading away. Like in that relationship. There was no Oliver, there was It was just these two people who And it's just that energy was That aura was all gone. Physically. Mentally, Immensely like in They had downgraded and they That you did this to me. You did this to me. Yeah. Y'all both did this to each And if you really want to go back to the way things were, it's best you leave because you too could be the greatest people. But it's not written that you're And that's fine. You can be good friends, but only because you're attracted to each other. That doesn't mean you have to You know what? Like this is why hookup culture Listen, sometimes you're to hook up with them. Leave it at that. Some things are just meant to be Some things are just meant to be Not everything has to be relationship, marriage, girlfriend, boyfriend. Nah, like some people could be they're just not good as parents There are so many dynamics, but or see it coming and you just gonna do it regardless, and both It's going to end up very badly. And those are the lessons we are them, and that's fine. So the theory that I'm talking And it's not the kind that comes It's genuinely the kind of quietly, cell by cell. And you keep telling everyone, See? Happy relationship weight is two people get into a weight, and then they look like Because ultimately, the more you stay with a partner, you end up looking like each other, and that's fine. You see that? Okay? You're plump and love, you know, Okay, that's the word. But with them, it's like you're And I'll continue the story. What happened with them? Now? A lot of guys are insecure if their girlfriend is better than them. And that's the truth. It's sad. But if they don't do the inner going to be that dynamic. And the best thing these guys who's not better than you. If you're so competitive in a relationship and anywhere you go, which was Oliver's case, then don't go for a girl like that. But at the same time, you know, want to show off. I want to have the best girl. I want to win. I want to have the most popular Everything. And then you go back her, which And you just want to show her want to take care of her. You want the credit. And then when he saw that, oh, When I'm with Emma, I'm getting called to more social gatherings. When I'm with Emma. People ask me, consider me, I Okay? Now suddenly girls are hitting me up, which was clearly he had a case of like the girlfriend effect, but he just thought that, oh my God, I'm so much desirable and I'm missing out on life. He turned toxic Sick, and he Emma because now that he stepped that she's getting all this like that and not like him. He started getting jealous. Like, I want this, I want all And then not only was he forcing this version of him that, oh, I'm better than you, I'm better than you. I can do this. I can do that. You know, belittling Emma in front of everyone, you know, controlling her. Emma, too, on the other hand, was completely okay with getting controlled. You know, he told her, don't go out for so many social gatherings. Don't. Don't wear this clothes. Don't wear that clothes don't go Don't go out with your friends, And you know, he literally took her more and more conservative Like like, you know, literally exotic bird and then you cage getting mad that. Oh my God, you've become such a Emma, you don't do anything. You're just in the house. Well, you didn't let her. And because of that, she doesn't So what do you want her to do? And then he's going out and doing and meeting and everything. And still, you know, people at show up, would genuinely just Oh, where's Emma and this and And they wouldn't give him room, because why would Emma's she is not there? When you literally locked her at home and came to this party by yourself like that is so fucking selfish. And you're so delusional for Like, we are Emma's friends. We are your friends. Next. So you are not like this. Chief guest of this party. So obviously he started getting Oh, you're gonna just talk to me And then they just started Emma had this resentment towards Oliver that you just want to control me, and still you're never happy. Anything I do, you're never And then Oliver was just like up to her. This and that. So who's right? Who's right in this story? Tell me. And you could argue that not Well, she wanted to be the She wanted to do what her And we we all make very weird sense to us and no one else. And within months, she stopped broke out her hair. Oh my God, it was thinning. Um. She just. Oh my God. I felt as if she had aged ten I'm not even kidding. I said that to her once. I looked at her. I'm like, Emma, babe, I don't know what's happening, but your shine is gone and I don't know what you need to do to get that back. but I'm just a call away. And I didn't want to insinuate the hell am I? What do I know? The internal working of their Trust me, everyone knows when you're in a bad, terrible relationship. Everyone knows. Everyone can tell. But no one is going to come and because you act so defensive. It's just human nature. Like when you go and tell someone that, okay, you know, something's off in your relationship and I think you should leave. Their first question would be, Why the fuck are you commenting And they will cut you off rather So people are so scared. So they they, you know, it's not That's what they think. It's not my business. Why should I tell you? Figure that out by yourself. It's like that. Unless you're super, super close and you know this person is not going to face any consequence if they're going to say it as it is. But you see it in the looks, you feel it in the judgment that people are worried about you and none of us could tell them on their face. But I eventually did. And guess who got cut out? Me. And this is. This is my story. Because one thing about me, I For the love of God. And my face speaks before my So I'll just say it that. Listen to much of your crying. This is. It is what it is. This is it. Fix this. That's it. And then they're like, you're so How can you say that? You don't know what's going on. Well, then prove me wrong, huh? And then they cut me off. And then they go through that And then years later, I'll get You were right. Yeah, bitch. I'm always so. Listen to me when I tell you the But that's what happened. And you know what's funny? After they broke up. So they got into a relationship six months, they started looking horrible. And then they stretched it out again for another eight to nine months. And it's just kept kept on getting worse and worse and worse. And that was also when they cut And then they broke up. And six months after that, they But those traces are always there of the abuse you've had in a relationship. It shows in your mental, it And that six months later was like, well, welcome back. I think you owe me an apology, Just take me out for a drink or And you see this in family too, There's this new thing that I've noticed that people go like, oh, my God, you've had such a glow up. You used to be such an ugly kid And now you look so good. What happened? Girl, is it puberty or what? No. Kids who grow up in toxic Not even abusive ones. The homes that are just full of Cold silences or chaos. Constant tension. There is this air of, you know, Don't piss your parents off. Don't piss your dad off. No affection, no touching, no They look different. But when they finally move out, They literally glow up. And it's not makeup. It's their nervous system It's their body saying they're And it's not always about big Sometimes it's the absence of warmth that kills you faster than hate. Oh my God, what a line. I should quote that, right? See the way someone talks about Okay, if your mom kept on Oh my God, you're such an ugly I used to be so pretty. You destroyed my body. Your nose looks like your dad. I wish you had my nose. Your hair looks like this. I wish you had my hair. Or like. Oh, I can't believe you have the That doesn't look good on you. Or even when relatives just pass comments that you've gained weight. You look so short. You look like this. Your your hips are bigger than your thighs and like, nonsense like that. Literally policing a child. First of all, it should be a rule to never comment on a child's body. You have no idea the level of That child is going to carry that throughout their adult life. Try to fix it. So please, let's stop it at the Okay, so when someone talks at your face, the tone, the emotional neglect, it adds up. It's like slow poison. And when constantly someone you know keeps on drilling and drilling and drilling and telling you this, this, this, this, this, this you eventually become that. You eventually start believing mind the smart part of your body and emotions your muscles, your every fiber of your body is And they change their composition to fit that narrative. Because if you've always been or dumb, you're dumb, you're believing that, that you're ugly part to fit the part. But once you leave those toxic you know, kids who have grown up suddenly they go to hostel or a job, and now they're a In just four months, five months, a year, this person's changed. Who is this person? It's like a new rebirth. And that's when you know the ugly and the dumb was in this person. It was their environment. And that's why if you want to environment or relationship or you look like. Look at yourself. Look at yourself. If you keep a desert plant in a going to happen? It's going to die. If you keep a tropical what's going to happen? It's going to die. When you don't keep the right its nature, it cannot thrive. You need to create an feel fully themselves and use it Otherwise, everything else is And when you're in a situation like in your twenties now you're an adult, you have knowledge of this. You've gained awareness. Okay, I've got this new is making me ugly. What are you going to do with Are you going to change your Are you going to change your Are you going to change your Are you going to change your Because without change, there's going to be no difference. You have to make a change. But for that, the first thing you need to do is observation and acknowledgement. So if you want to know whether you're in the right relationship, don't overthink it. Just look in the mirror. Do you feel alive? Do you really feel spark or do down your light? Can you recognize yourself? Are you the same person? If both of you are glowing, But if one of you is drained That's not partnership. That's that's a parasite. And that person is draining your And it happens. You know, some people latch on know they have a lot to gain, so And I've said this in so many episodes about the energy vampires. So yeah, maybe you're in those You have to identify that. Is this person bettering And am I giving up myself just relationship while getting Is it unequal? And next time when you say, oh, it's just stress, it's just life. That's just how it is. This is just how we age. Ask who stressed it? Because sometimes the scary part It's losing yourself in that So that's all for today's I hope this is like the sign or helps you understand why so many whether it's your family, whether it's your friendship, understanding this is why it is. And the thing about stress is it It adds up over time. And then one day you get a heart It adds up over time, and then You'll never know it while it's Just one day you wake up and boom, it's too late to reverse it. So live an unbothered, stress everything you come across. That's true. Real growth and happiness. That's all for today's episode. I'll see you next time. Bye.