Nurse Maureen‘s Health Show
Welcome to Nurse Maureen's Health Show Podcast where we dive deep into all things health, sex, menopause, relationships, parenting, communication and more! Hosted by a passionate nurse with years of frontline experience, we bring you expert interviews, real-life stories, and the latest insights on staying healthy aging. Nothing is off limits as we delve into overall health, sexual health, mental health, and sexual health. Whether we’re breaking down medical myths, discussing cutting-edge treatments, or chatting with top health professionals, this show is your go-to for practical advice and inspiring conversations.
Nurse Maureen‘s Health Show
Why Perimenopause Makes ADHD Even Worse
Unlock a new understanding of the intersection between adult ADHD and perimenopause with Dr. Anita Parhar, a leading expert in women's health. With her insights, we explore the emotional rollercoaster women face when their ADHD suspicions are validated. Relief, anger, and everything in between are unpacked as we shine a light on the all-too-common dismissals in healthcare settings. Dr. Parhar shares touching stories of resilience, demonstrating how navigating these conditions can profoundly impact women's lives, especially during the tumultuous years of perimenopause. Join us as we emphasize the urgent need for healthcare professionals to affirm and support women's experiences. In our discussions, celebrity influence comes under the spotlight as we reflect on Paris Hilton's role in dismantling ADHD stigma, fostering a climate of awareness and self-compassion.
Good evening and welcome to Nurse Maureen's Health Show podcast. I'm Maureen McGrath, registered nurse, nurse, continence advisor, sexual health educator. As you know, this is the podcast that educates everyone about sexual health, overall health, making your relationships the best they can be. Thank you so much for tuning in, for your downloads, for your follows and for sharing the program. We've been talking a lot about women this month.
Speaker 1:This month of October it's October 18th is National Menopause Awareness Day and many women, when they hit perimenopause, the years leading up to the menopause or menopause or after, they realize that things are worsening and their perimenopausal symptoms may seem pretty significant. Their brain fog is worse, their disorganization, their level of frustration, anxiety and depression just seems to be out of control, and it may have something to do with adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Joining me on the line to talk about this is Dr Anita Parhar, phd. She's the director of women's health at the Adult Center for Women. In her educational endeavors, anita's focus has been on working with communities who have been under-recognized. Initially as an elementary school teacher and later working as a university professor, who trained teachers, school teacher, and later working as a university professor, who trained teachers, she recognized the need for greater awareness of ADHD and the importance of diagnosis and treatment for adults living with ADHD. Dr Parhar has extensive experience in understanding the many ways ADHD presents in adults and the challenges many living with ADHD work through on the daily basis.
Speaker 1:Good evening, dr Parhar. How are you? I'm great. Thank you, maureen. Thanks so much for joining the program again. It's been fabulous information that you have been sharing about adult ADHD, especially in women, and we've talked about when ADHD strikes simultaneously with perimenopause menopause and how things can worsen, and we've talked a lot about it. There's a lot of awareness raising going on. Paris Hilton has come out that she has been diagnosed with adult ADHD and many women have come to your center suspecting that they have ADHD. How do women initially respond when their suspicion of ADHD is confirmed? So when they're diagnosed, what is it like for a woman who has been struggling all these years?
Speaker 2:Wow, well, that's a great question, maureen. It varies. We have people who cry, so tears, relief, disappointment, anger Many women will cry. They feel a sense of relief and validation for their struggles. One woman I remember. She said to me you believe me. And the first time I heard that I responded you know, naturally, yes, but I was thinking well, shouldn't I? Of course I believe you. So that said a lot to me that she's been struggling all these years and probably been saying things to people, the struggles she's been going through, but nobody has believed her.
Speaker 2:Another lady said oh, so that's the reason why things have gone so wrong. So ADHD was an explanation. Another lady said I knew something was wrong, so I'm not stupid. I knew I was crazy, but I really aren't. There was one that was the most heartbreaking that brought actually tears to my eyes was at the end of this conversation. It was a good conversation. But she said but I'm a loser, so I don't have ADHD. And after more conversation of her telling her feelings of guilt and shame, she said no, wait a minute, so I'm not a loser. And just the light in her voice and this acceptance of wait a minute here, just after telling me stories of struggle, this, this turning light bulb in her brain oh my gosh, I'm not a loser. That really that tears in my eyes. That was hard to hear.
Speaker 1:Oh, it certainly can be difficult to hear, and I think some of the most powerful words that healthcare practitioners can use are I believe you and you mentioned that that this woman was surprised that you believed her, and I think that's so critical. Especially in the diagnosis of ADHD or other diagnoses, Women are often dismissed way more often than women should be, or oftentimes it's chalked up to just being in a woman's head. So I can imagine also that a woman who's been struggling with organization and frustration and losing things and being late for everything would be relieved once they had a diagnosis of ADHD. When you hear about a woman's experience living with ADHD, is there anything in the journey or journeys that stand out for you?
Speaker 2:Well, stories one of struggle are endless. But then there are also stories of resilience, and I'm just going to share with you a recent conversation I had with a woman, and this is what I mean about. The stories are endless. So she started explaining about her realization. So she had done a lot of work on herself, and so it was a good conversation in the sense that she has thought a lot about it and was very articulate. She said I've always struggled staying on task.
Speaker 2:My brain just doesn't stop. There's so many things that I could be doing. I would procrastinate my homework, my studying, because really I didn't know where to start. I didn't know how to do things, but I was expected to. When I did do things, I felt slow. I tried twice as hard as others.
Speaker 2:I was always frustrated, annoyed, angry. I just felt that nothing I did was good enough. My parents would tell me just do it. I was confused as to why I could do some things and not do others. I was confused as to why I could do some things and not do others.
Speaker 2:I remember being obsessed for hours with things. I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom holding clothes for hours. Don't know why. I was sensitive to feedback. I would get easily offended. I had low self-esteem. I didn't have any friends. I began drinking and smoking, one to cope, but two to make friends. I stopped eating and I became so thin Boys started paying attention to me, but I ended up in a physically abusive relationship. Now, in dealing with all of that, I saw a psychiatrist who then diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. I couldn't keep a job. I couldn't do things that other people kind of just did and it was so easy for them. I couldn't even keep my house clean. I didn't have a roommate, a partner, kids, like other people. There was no reason for me to be a disaster. So the story went on about more of her life and how things for her. You know, explaining it, she was saying it as a bit of a matter of fact because she had spent three, four years in therapy and had so much time to think about it.
Speaker 1:It just sounds like things just spiraled out of control for her. And things can spiral out of control for women, especially as they you know women with ADHD get married and are not diagnosed. You know, get married, have children, buy a house, you know, are working inside and outside of the home. You can see that things would be chaotic, and life would not only be chaotic of the home. You can see that things would be chaotic and life would not only be chaotic for the woman, but life would be chaotic for the people in her life, like her children or partner, whomever. So you know, I hear when you're talking about that story.
Speaker 1:I hear in my head so many patients that I have known through the years who have experienced just that. I also had a patient who recently went to the ADHD Center for Women and was diagnosed. She said she had so many wonderful things to say about you, she couldn't say enough great things and she said she couldn't get into her doctor and so she went off to your center and got a proper diagnosis and her life is now back on track. She happens to be in university at this time, so I mean it's just amazing how people have suffered, and especially women, and the sense of relief that they must get once they get a diagnosis. So it's just incredible work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just to add to that, the one thing I we found that women I don't know if men do it as much, but I don't hear the stories of men in this way, and you've kind of touched upon it that when their life changes and they they realize that their life can be so much different and they take advantage of the opportunity and turn that around and start doing the much different. And they take advantage of the opportunity and turn that around and start doing the things they probably thought they always could do, have always wanted to do. They in a sense compare their life to other people and that's I think I don't know if that's something that we grew up with that somehow we judge ourselves compared to others, especially if things are not going well. And so we've heard women say that, like you have said, after they have been diagnosed, they put a lot of strategies in place. They're doing well.
Speaker 2:That one woman said to me I thought being good was not being bad. I questioned her about that. I didn't know what that meant. She said well, I thought being good was not being bad at something. I didn't realize that now I could actually enjoy doing things.
Speaker 2:I enjoy processes as opposed to avoiding them, and another lady said I've been doing work on myself and you know what I now tell myself well done.
Speaker 1:And it's just amazing. You can just imagine how their lives turn around after you know 35, 45, 55 years of living the same way. And yes, I do think as women, we compare ourselves to other women. It's human nature and you almost can't help it. Why can they do it and I can't do that? Why am I constantly working, you know, and I never get anything done? You know, and other people are enjoying their lives. Why are? Why is their house clean and mine's a mess? You know, I think those are common questions. Or, you know, why can't I get it together? You can imagine how frustrating it would be for women not to be able to get it together, whether it be their personal life or their professional life. You know, I was interested to see Dr Parhar, that Paris Hilton has come out and is sharing that she is ADHD as well, and I just wanted to play this little clip.
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Speaker 2:Absolutely, and that is key. When we hear stories of women being compassionate to themselves and others, we hear about women having support, and particularly in the case of Paris Hilton, she has a voice that's quite broad. People listen to her, her followers, her fans and I hope that they take messages like hers to heart and share with other people that message, as opposed to saying I heard Paris Hilton and this is what's going on with her. And the hope for me with that type of message is that more women see themselves differently and not in a negative way, although it's easy to share stories of people who are struggling and then stories of how well they're doing when things change. But for women not to have that shame and guilt and internalization of so many things that they see that their situation is changeable and that there are resources available to do so Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And what about healthcare practitioners and general practitioners, gps, family docs? What's your hope for them, because I think this is a struggle for them in their offices?
Speaker 2:It is, and there's so much new information, new information being a relative kind of term in the sense new to you, new to them. What may be new to one practitioner may not be new to another. We know that practitioners, researchers, have been talking about women and women's health, and even ADHD in women for over 25 years, but now it's being talked of more after so many years. We know science is not static, you know and we know that things change. That's the way life goes. Information changes for practitioners, education, education generally for everybody. The more we know, the more knowledgeable we are, the greater chance that that will inform our practice, leading to positive outcomes.
Speaker 2:And so to choose to believe women when they have for so many years been saying these are the things I'm going with and then take that information and if you don't know what to do with it at the time, seek out explanations or possibilities.
Speaker 1:talk to other people about that to help women move forward Absolutely and of course, I think, as with anything, we need more research, especially for women suffering with ADHD. Dr Parhar, thank you so much for joining the program. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Thank you very much, maureen, it's been a pleasure.
Speaker 1:That was great information and that was Dr Anita Parhar, phd, director of Women's Health at the ADHD Center for Women. In her educational endeavors, anita's focus has been on working with communities who've been under-recognized. She's been an elementary school teacher, a university prof, she's trained teachers and she recognized the need for greater awareness of ADHD, and I hope you do as well. And if you think somebody can benefit from this episode, please share it. If you're disorganized, struggling in any way, feeling like your mind is going constantly, if you're forgetful, late for everything, just getting frustrated, angry, anxious, you know, maybe it's ADHD. I'm Maureen McGrath. Thanks so much for tuning in. Thanks so much for tuning in. I'm Maureen McGrath and you have been listening to the Sunday Night Health Show podcast. If you want to hear this podcast or any other segment again, feel free to go to iTunes, spotify or Google Play or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. You can always email me nursetalkathotmailcom or text the show 604-765-9287. That's 604-765-9287. Or head on over to my website for more information. Maureenmcgrathcom, it's been my pleasure to spend this time with you.
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