Nurse Maureen‘s Health Show
Welcome to Nurse Maureen's Health Show Podcast where we dive deep into all things health, sex, menopause, relationships, parenting, communication and more! Hosted by a passionate nurse with years of frontline experience, we bring you expert interviews, real-life stories, and the latest insights on staying healthy aging. Nothing is off limits as we delve into overall health, sexual health, mental health, and sexual health. Whether we’re breaking down medical myths, discussing cutting-edge treatments, or chatting with top health professionals, this show is your go-to for practical advice and inspiring conversations.
Nurse Maureen‘s Health Show
Transform Your Love Life with Roster Dating
Good evening and welcome to Nurse Maureen's Health Show podcast. Well, season two in 2025 is off to a great start. Thanks so much for tuning in. I really appreciate it. I'm Maureen McGrath, a registered nurse, nurse, continence advisor, sexual health educator. I am all about health what can I say? And sex and relationships too. And that's what we're going to be talking about this evening, because I came upon a type of dating that is really a modern day approach to dating.
Speaker 1:Dating has evolved over the years and decades, but this one it's very common for people in their twenties, but I imagine it, just like online dating, it's going to expand to people in their thirties, forties, fifties and beyond. It's called to expand to people in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond. It's called roster dating and it's a modern day approach to dating where someone dates multiple people simultaneously without committing to exclusivity. Sounds pretty good, huh? It's like keeping a list of potential romantic interests, allowing individuals to explore different connections before settling on a serious relationship. And you know, mostly women are embracing this roster dating, and I love that because it is empowering and it gives women agency and choice and they're reclaiming their dating lives by avoiding the pressure to settle too soon. Why not have a bit of a smorgasbord there of you know different types of people that you're dating that you might enjoy, and you might enjoy different things with different ones.
Speaker 1:Roster dating gives women the opportunity to assess compatibility without feeling tied down early on. And I'm not saying this is limited to women Guys I think they've probably been roster dating for a long time, but guys do it as well. It is also helpful because there's a number of benefits and it helps to avoid those situation ships. And you're wondering what is a situation ship? Well, a situation ship is actually, you know, a relationship that doesn't have a label or is unnamed. Instead of waiting for clarity in ambiguous relationships and who hasn't done that, women can maintain options and avoid getting stuck in one-sided emotional investments. It also provides a little emotional protection by spreading your emotional energy across multiple people. You know, and multiple, that's up to you. How many Three, four, five, six Women reduce the risk of heartbreak from one person ghosting or losing interest?
Speaker 1:And how often does ghosting happen so often? And you know, I've heard of a lot of women dating and they'll say they have plan B. They always have somebody in the background if this one doesn't work out. And you know what. More often than not, they do go to plan B.
Speaker 1:This roster dating gives women a confidence boost. Wouldn't you say? You've got five or six on the line. So you know, when women are engaging with multiple suitors, so to speak, that can be a confidence booster and it reinforces self-worth and prevents attachment to people who don't reciprocate the same level of interest. And it allows you to make a better decision by comparing different partners side by side. It helps you identify what you truly want in a relationship and that can lead to more intentional choices, which I like. It's very beneficial.
Speaker 1:And you know what? Finally, we're flipping the script. Men have traditionally engaged in this roster dating without disclosing it. Women embracing the strategy challenge outdated dating norms and ensure they aren't investing in someone who isn't investing in them. So I think that makes a lot of sense. Actually, we're finally challenging the outdated dating norms, and that was always. You never really knew how many he had on the line, but you were committed to him or them or her, whatever your preference is. And you know it is also avoiding that one mentality. Your mindset shifts the focus from finding the one to enjoying connections as they come, and that leads to a more relaxed and fulfilling dating experience. How many times have you thought, oh my gosh, I was such a jerk on that date or I was so nervous I acted like this. But you know what, when you've got three, four, five different ones, you know you're not so pressured, you're not so nervous and anxious.
Speaker 1:Roster dating isn't for everyone, but it does align with modern dating dynamics where exclusivity isn't assumed from the start. It allows women to navigate dating with more autonomy, more confidence and way more fun. And it should be fun. Really Dating should be fun. I cannot tell you how many people I've said to you know you don't have to marry that person. You know, just enjoy yourself, just have some fun. You know, dating, roster dating can be very successful and you're probably wondering why is that? Why should we shift to this? Well, it helps to avoid settling too soon.
Speaker 1:You know, by having so many different people to compare to, you know you're really enjoying different people and then, when that truly special someone comes along, the decision to commit is more intentional and it's not out of scarcity or desperate. You know a lot of people marry the wrong person. You know they base it strictly on chemistry. They don't which chemistry is important. I'm not saying it's not, but there's so many other things that are important in a marriage or in a long-term relationship or when you decide to become exclusive. Roster dating also encourages emotional balance. When you're spreading your emotional investment across different people, that actually prevents you from getting overly attached to someone who may not reciprocate. I really think roster dating is something for you to try out.
Speaker 1:I always say that you know what you don't have to commit. You don't have to marry if you will, you know you don't have. This doesn't have to be long-term. This is something you can try. I often say that in my clinical practice to patients. You know, try this for three months, see how you feel, try it out and if it works, it's great. If it doesn't, you can go back to the old, the old fashioned ways of dating. I don't know if we'll ever come back to that.
Speaker 1:You know, women gain so much more self-confidence and self-worth because having many different people on the line reinforces a woman's value and makes her less likely to chase emotionally unavailable partners. And how many of those are out there? That's a big problem and a big red flag as well, when men in particular, or even women, can be just emotionally unavailable, not ready for a relationship. They just want to have friends with benefits. Okay, well, you can make that decision yourself as well and decide to participate in that or not. And roster dating also promotes better standards, with more options. Women are less likely to tolerate red flags or invest in a one-sided relationship, and women tend to be a bit more nurturing, tend to be a little bit more emotional, tend to be a little bit more emotional in a way that they've been taught to express their emotions.
Speaker 1:Whereas I did a podcast interview and I'd love you to go back and listen to it with Alistair Moose of Moose Anger Management, and we talked about how men are taught about how to express their anger and women are taught how to express their emotions, and so there's this emotional robe that women are wearing, and so this can kind of evade some of that. And when you have multiple people on the line, there's a reduction in heartbreak and disappointment, because if one connection fades, there's somebody else there. There's someone else or two or three more people in play, and that softens that impact of ghosting or rejecting you. But you know what Roster dating can fail. Like everything in life, it can fail as well, because it can become emotionally draining. You know multitasking it's a big issue and you may not be paying attention to the right things at the right time. So juggling multiple people could be Exhausting. Especially if deep emotional connections start forming with more than one person, then you're probably also gonna think I'd like to put Him with him and him and him together and then make one perfect person.
Speaker 1:It can also feel extremely superficial if there's no real connection with any of the people on the roster. It might start feeling like an endless cycle of casual dating, and that can also be tiring as well. And you know, when you're not emotionally committed to anybody and that can lead to decision paralysis. Having too many choices can make it harder to commit, leading to that grass is greener mentality that you know that Tinder thing where it's a smorgasbord, there's somebody, always somebody better. Let's swipe right, let's swipe left, again and again and again. And there's also a risk of lack of transparency. If all parties are not on the same page about non-exclusivity, it can lead to misunderstandings or hurt feelings from either side, and nobody wants to hurt anybody and nobody wants to be hurt either.
Speaker 1:Roster dating works best for those people who are emotionally secure. Do you know anybody? No, just kidding that are clear on their intentions and able to manage multiple connections without stress. You know, I would imagine people and we've done a lot of in season one, have done a lot of interviews on ADHD and women and perimenopause and you know, for people who struggle with executive function or organization, I imagine roster dating would be a challenge. You know, I think you do have to be somebody who's pretty organized, pretty efficient on top of it. Good executive function, pretty organized, pretty efficient On top of it good executive function. And if it's done with honesty and balance, this roster dating, it can lead to better dating experiences and ultimately a more fulfilling relationship when the right person comes along.
Speaker 1:You also don't feel like you settled or you don't feel like you didn't really try out the landscape as much as your friends did, or your family or sisters or whatever. This way you feel like you've taken a good run at it. You know you've dated quite a bit. How many times have you heard people say you know, I dated my high school sweetheart, that was it. I dated my college sweetheart, I never dated anybody else.
Speaker 1:And then they kind of think that they might be missing out on something. And you know, women can become vulnerable, you know, around the age of 30 and around the age of 50, because those are times when women are having babies and then women are kind of perimenopausal it's sort of the end of the reproductive life and you know they can feel like, oh, I missed out. And you know this is a risk factor for extramarital affairs because you know the relationship can become humdrum and tired and boring and the same old and you can feel unappreciated. And then somebody comes along and lights your spark. And so you know, if you feel like, hey, I've been out there, I've dated many, I know different personalities, I know different types, I know what I've got here at home, you're less likely to risk an extramarital affair. So you know, for my money, I think roster dating is a great idea.
Speaker 1:I would love to hear from you what do you think about this approach and how do you think it aligns with modern dating trends or do you think exclusivity is still the ultimate goal? Feel free to text the show. You can email me nursetalk at hotmailcom. Thanks so much for tuning in. I really appreciate it and my name is Maureen McGrath and you are listening to Nurse Maureen's Health Show Podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in. I'm Maureen McGrath and you have been listening to the Sunday Night Health Show Podcast. If you want to hear this podcast or any other segment again, feel free to go to iTunes, spotify or Google Play or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. You can always email me nursetalk at hotmailcom or text the show 604-765-9287. That's 604-765-9287. Or head on over to my website for more information. Maureenmcgrathcom. It's been my pleasure to spend this time with you.