Nurse Maureen‘s Health Show
Welcome to Nurse Maureen's Health Show Podcast where we dive deep into all things health, sex, menopause, relationships, finances, parenting, communication and more! Hosted by a passionate nurse with years of frontline experience, we bring you expert interviews, real-life stories, and the latest insights on staying healthy. Nothing is off limits as we delve into overall health, sexual health, mental health, and sexual health. Whether we’re breaking down medical myths, discussing cutting-edge treatments, or chatting with CEOs, top health professionals, or industry experts this show is your go-to for practical advice and inspiring conversations.
Nurse Maureen‘s Health Show
Why Traditional Matchmaking is Making a Comeback in the Era of Dating Apps
Good evening and welcome to another episode of Nurse Maureen's Health Show Podcast. I'm Maureen McGrath, a registered nurse, nurse, continence advisor and sexual health educator. Thank you so much for tuning in finding the one with someone who doesn't leave romance up to algorithms. Annie Garmendia is a modern day matchmaker with an old school touch, blending intuition, insight in a deep understanding of human connection to create love stories that last from the history of matchmaking to the pitfalls of online dating, and he's pulling back the curtain on what it really takes to make a match. So, whether you're single, searching, searching or just curious, get ready because your perspective on love is about to change. Good evening, annie. Thanks so much for joining the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me, marie, and it's very nice to be back on with you.
Speaker 1:Oh, awesome, I'm delighted to have you as well. This is such an important subject, especially in the world of dating as it kind of exists today, with everything online and sort of this smorgasbord of lack of intimacy and connection. But I want to step it back a little bit because I want to talk about matchmaking. It's an old art. Can you give us a brief history of matchmaking? How did it start and how has it evolved over the years? That's a great question.
Speaker 2:Well, I have been in the industry for the past 15 years. I was actually the youngest matchmaker in Canada, but I mean it's one of the oldest professions in time and so I've kind of seen the progression from 15 years ago, when there was no online dating available, till today, seeing people go through the fatigue of online dating. So I'm very excited to talk to you about all of the things to do with matchmaking 15 years ago and looking at it today.
Speaker 1:Wonderful. What inspired you to become a matchmaker and how do you approach finding the right match for somebody?
Speaker 2:That is such a great question. So, as most matchmakers that I have spoken to in the industry, we just kind of found a very organic path to it. I've just always been a natural connector. I came from divorced parents and I was an extremely extroverted child, but an only child at that. So whenever I was with my parents I would have to find friends, and I would always see my parents kind of hanging back alone. So I would think in my head, well, they need friends too. So whatever friend I made at the beach or the park, I would go up to their parents and ask them if they wanted to be friends with my parents and bring over, you know, all these random people. And my parents were like you need to stop this. Like I actually like some alone time, which I found it really hard to comprehend.
Speaker 2:But then that transition into later in my 20s when my girlfriend started dating one particular girlfriend was dating a guy that I did not approve of. It was very hard to pass the test with me, especially my girlfriend. So I set up a profile on on online dating. It was plenty of fish I think we had eHarmony and plenty of fish back then so I created a profile for her and other girlfriends got wind of it, so they asked me to manage their online dating presence and eventually, you know they were like hey, you are essentially a matchmaker, you should be charging for this. So that's how I got started into matchmaking. I started my own company a month prior to Tinder being announced and kind of exploding. So that was interesting and fast forward to 2025, being a matchmaker through the pandemic. That's been a roller coaster as well, but that's essentially how. That's the long story of how I got into matchmaking.
Speaker 1:As well, but that's essentially how. That's the long story of how I got into matchmaking. Well, that is amazing, and your website is synccom. C, I, n, q, e. No U in that, so if you want to have a quick little look. But but stay with us, of course, because we have lots to learn. I have another question for you, annie how does traditional matchmaking differ from online dating apps like Tinder or Bumble?
Speaker 2:That's a great question, and so that's another thing. You know, when it comes to online dating, people are always like, oh, it's unlimited opportunity. But, as you said, is it? A lot of people kind of fall off of the apps very quickly, especially women. And this is something that I talk about on the daily, every day, all day is the challenges that both men and women face on online dating. It's kind of the same, but on the opposite spectrum, women get bombarded online with propositions from men.
Speaker 2:You know, the dating apps are gamified, so that's really fun for women to kind of swipe left or right. We sit with our girlfriends over a glass of wine, we swipe through an entire city in the span of two hours, but women have a great return of investment for their swipes, so they end up with about 200 guys in their DM section asking the same question. So, on online dating, it is very repetitive conversations that you're having and also there is no emotional connection. So we're able to bridge that gap with matchmaking, because we learn a lot about people. We essentially go on the first date for you. So it's through the vetting process where people actually discover the commonalities and we're able to share. So if somebody went on a gap year to Japan maybe my client did as well, and so I'm able to share that and therefore they become even more excited to actually meet in person, which is one of the challenges that people are having online Maybe they're connecting, but the in person date isn't actually happening.
Speaker 1:Right and you know, one of the issues that I hear from friends of mine who are online dating is that you know they will often cycle through the same guys. A couple of friends of mine. They have had experience with one guy and then somebody you know that same guy reaches out to a friend of theirs, probably because that's how the algorithm works. You know, if you're connected, what are the biggest benefits of using a matchmaker and you've touched upon a couple compared to online dating. Are there specific types of people who benefit more from matchmaking services?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, anyone can benefit from hiring a matchmaker, but it is a luxury service and so you have to think of do I want to hire someone? Do I want to outsource this part of my life? Because doing online dating, as most people know, is a full-time job. It requires a lot of attention. You have to be very organized in setting up the dates. One of the biggest things that we see is the scheduling, and so if someone's not available this weekend, online dating moves very, very quickly, and so the online dating setting up the in-person date falls apart very, very quickly.
Speaker 2:So we do have, I would say, 99% success rate with actually getting people to meet in person, which is one of the biggest struggles, and also, as well, doing our due diligence in the vetting process. One of the things that we hear from men and women at the same time is oh, I went on a date with somebody from an online dating app, but they didn't look like their photos or they were totally different in person. So it's through the vetting process. We'll verify if we suspect someone is using a lot of filters or gentlemen. You know they're kind of terrible for this, but I don't blame them. They don't have a lot of photos, not like women. We take photos with our girlfriends all of the time. Men don't take that many photos, so sometimes they're updating photos that are 10 years old and so women will complain about that.
Speaker 2:So we'll do the verification and make sure that they look how they are presenting and, in addition, we do the vetting process, which a lot of stuff comes up during those conversations that I am having, where I can kind of determine oh okay, they're actually, you know, very religious or they sway this way politically and this person sways the other way, and so I'm able to give them information. I always joke and I say I ask all of the questions that you should not ask on a first date. I'll ask them for you and let you know where they stand, and then it's up to you to make an educated decision on whether you still want to go on a first date. I'll ask them for you and let you know where they stand, and then it's up to you to make an educated decision on whether you still want to go on a date with this person.
Speaker 1:Right, and I imagine something else that would pop up is that, oh, maybe they're still married, which is another complaint that I hear from a lot of my female friends as well.
Speaker 1:I certainly hear complaints about men too. I mean from men also, you know, saying that they're not. They thought they'd be exclusive with a woman and they can still see them online. You mentioned that it is a luxury service, but you know, and I know, these times are tough and they might be getting tougher shortly, but there's a lot of people with a lot of money and no time and time is money, and so I think it's. You know your priorities in your life. You know, do you want to just work the rest of your life or are you sitting on? You know a lot of equity in your home, or you know, do you have a lot of cash sitting around? This is a very valuable service because you know people who have spent two, three, four years online and still have not met the one. What's the most surprising thing people don't realize about working with a matchmaker?
Speaker 2:Oh, that is such a great question, and the thing that I hear from most of my clients all the time is wow, I didn't realize that this was also going to be a self development journey.
Speaker 2:Because, yes, of course we are introducing you to the type of people that you want to meet, but in addition, we get the feedback after the date, and everybody has blind spots, and it's not to the responsibility of the person that is sitting across from you to tell you what you're doing wrong during these dates, and so we're able to provide feedback. We also provide coaching, and that comes in very handy with clients that are starting to date somebody. The beginning stages of dating are very precarious, you know, especially when you are texting, and so we're able to. We'll say, send us a screenshot, what is she saying, and we can kind of guide them from that, their first argument or their first disagreement. They can utilize us as their matchmaker slash dating coaches to kind of guide them through that. I have clients that won't even buy a cologne without running it by me first. So I'm sort of like their personal assistant, dating coach, matchmaker all rolled into one.
Speaker 1:Wow, well, that's a great responsibility and a great service that you provide for people.
Speaker 1:You know, men frequently express frustration with online dating, as I mentioned, particularly regarding their experiences with women, and some of the common complaints I've heard from men are low match rates, especially for men who don't perceive themselves as physically attractive, or a lack of reciprocation in conversations and the prevalence of one word responses, or ghosting, is very common, um.
Speaker 1:So it seems to me that this service would be very valuable, you know, not just for women, uh, but for men as well, because, uh, another thing that and I and I find this on, I hear it from both sides, from men and women and matchmaking is not just for, um, for heterosexual relationships, it's also for same-sex relationships as well. But I hear, you know, there are concerns about being used for free dates or having unrealistic expectations based on their online profiles. And I might add that I have a couple of friends who will show me the pictures of guys and they'll say you know he's 48. And I'll say he's not 48. You know he's 60. Yeah, you can tell, but you know, it's nice to hear there's a reason behind that, because you're right, men, don't take all these photographs and may I advise, do not take a photograph, you know shirtless.
Speaker 2:Oh, please, you're automatically going to be swiped.
Speaker 1:Yes, no we hate that Exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, then you're automatically going to be swiped. Yes, no, we hate that. Yeah, but I wanted to sort of touch on what you've just said about the complaints of men having low match rates, and I say to men all the time listen, it's probably not your fault, it's our fault. And again, women swipe through an entire city in two hours with their girlfriends over a glass of wine, because that's the fun part for us. In addition, women are not physically driven as much as men are, and this just goes down to science and I say this to men all the time and women we date wanting to procreate, even if we're not actually wanting to procreate. But men have to be sexually attracted one way or another and women have to feel emotionally connected, and so that is the real disconnect for women on online dating, we're forced to be physically driven. So when we look at a man online and he is physically attractive, we're still swiping on a maybe standpoint. We're going okay, great, he looks great on his photos, but is he going to be a jerk? I don't know. I'll find out in the discussions via DMs. But again, women have a great return of investment. So the conversations are moving very, very quickly from Paul and Jake and Gregory and Peter, and now we're flooded with all of these men and one guy will ruin it for the rest of them. Now he'll be weird. He'll call a woman out of her name and the women fall off of the apps very, very, very quickly, and to the point that I hear women tell me all the time, the minute that I open my app, I get anxiety.
Speaker 2:So we have we're overwhelmed, actually, with women that are joining a matchmakers free network to be considered for male clients.
Speaker 2:Reason being is women are also very safety driven, as I'm sure you can imagine. So the two main concerns that women have online are is he just looking for a hookup or maybe, you know, is he a serial killer? Or do I have to worry about my safety when I meet him on a first date? And so all of those things get taken away when they join a matchmaking service, because they know that the men who are hiring us are proactively looking for a, you know, serious relationship and, in addition, we take their safety very seriously. We have screened these men, you know they we kind of do a very light criminal check on them. We check all of their socials, we dive deep onto the internet and find everything that we can about this guy. So women feel safer dating through us. So I'm seeing now more and more women joining matchmaking services and steering away from the dating apps. Their profiles might still be active, but they're not responding, and so it's not really men's fault.
Speaker 2:It's just sort of, you know it's across the board for women. They all kind of feel the same way about it.
Speaker 1:Very interesting and you know, I hear also from women that they have a list. You know, does he have a job? Number one, how tall is he Number? Two is he still married? Number three, and you know, is he a serial killer? Probably number four. Yeah, how do you assess compatibility between two people beyond basic interests or lifestyles? Do you use psychology, intuition or something else?
Speaker 2:Intuition has always played a big part on it. Of course, you know, women have a list, and this is another reason why I see men sort of lying about their age is because women will use those filters on an online dating platform very aggressively, and so because we default to this list. So it's like oh you know, our, our ideal preference is going to meet, is going to be to meet somebody who's over six five, right, but if I call them and I'm talking to them about this wonderful person that I've gotten to know some well, but hey, he's 5'10". Nine times out of 10, they're like oh, that's totally fine, but on the dating apps they will put over six five, and so real men, great men, are not being seen at all on the online dating apps because of the way that women use filters. So I just wanted to say about that and then how I look for a great match. It's honestly to do with lifestyle. They have to have similar lifestyle, they have to have a similar outlook on life, shared experiences and timing is also very important. Where are they in their journey of? Do they want to have children? Do they have older children, that they have older children? Do they have younger children. So it's about that type of compatibility.
Speaker 2:But, that being said, sometimes some of the greatest matches that I've done are complete opposites, and so I remember I had this female client. She, of course, gave me this list. It was a very strict list. I met this gentleman he, I mean, I just fall in love every day, and that's one of the things that I love about my job. I think I have a very good radar when it comes to people and I called her and I said look, he is nothing of the things that you had mentioned on your list, but he is so incredible, will you please just take a phone call? And she she was like all right, I trust you, because it is a very trusting relationship, that of a client and a matchmaker. It has to go both ways. So she took the call and they ended up dating and off they went. I believe they're still together. I'm not sure this was about six years ago, but this happens to me on the daily.
Speaker 2:So that is another reason, with our matchmaking agency, why we do unlimited matchmaking. It is not a set number, because I don't want people to project their ideas onto someone and pass on them because they have this, you know. Oh, I only have six dates, so I'm gonna be really picky. That's not how love works. So I provide my clients with as much opportunity based on what they're looking for, through the vetting process that I have done. But I will be very transparent and say hey, I know you wanted to meet somebody. You know that is a perfect, amazing skier. Well, this person hates skiing, but here are all the other things that they make makes up for them skiing, but here are all the other things that they make makes up for them. And so at that point they'll make an educated decision and go. You know what? The skiing is not even that important. I don't know why I said that, yes, I'll meet them.
Speaker 1:Right, and it's never too late to start something new. What advice would? You give to someone who feels disillusioned with modern dating and is considering using a matchmaker for the first time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, listen, everyone is disillusioned at one point or another, especially if you've had bad luck on online dating. That's kind of where I hear it's the dating fatigue. You know people are going on endless, endless dates all the time. Matchmaking is a more customized approach. You know we always say if you want unlimited dates, just go on Tinder, just go on the dating apps. That's not what we do. We focus on quality. So I can't ever guarantee chemistry that is something that happens between two people. But I can guarantee that most dates that you go on that are presented by me are going to be an enjoyable experience. You might make a friend, you know, maybe a business partner. Everyone is like minded the people that I am introducing to one another. So they're going to be enjoyable dates and that is how chemistry develops when you're enjoying somebody's company.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Well. Annie, thank you so much. I've learned so much about matchmaking and I thought I knew a little bit about it before, but I've learned so much more. I really appreciate you coming onto the broadcast and educating my listeners. Where can people find you? I know you're all over social media on Instagram at the Matchmaker Club. Your website is synccom C-I-N-Q-Ecom. That's synccom Nice little play on words two people syncing up together. Anywhere else can people email?
Speaker 2:you? Oh, absolutely Annie, at synccom.
Speaker 1:Perfect. Well, Annie, thank you so much. Really appreciate all of the information.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me on Maureen, Always a pleasure.
Speaker 1:Always my pleasure. That was Annie Garmendia, and she is the matchmaker extraordinaire. You can find her all over social media at the matchmaker club. Her website is cinquecom. If you have someone in your life who's complaining that they don't have someone in their life, you might want to turn them on to this episode of Nurse Maureen's Health Show Podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in.