#89 - A Mothers Worst Nightmare: Grooming, AI Images, and a Life Sentence: The Case You Need to Hear w/Lindsey Hendricks

***WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTENT CONTAINS ELEMENTS THAT ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR SOME AUDIENCES. References to sexual assault, abuse, and potential trauma INCLUDING DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE.

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

The story starts with chaos—kids in the doorway, a violent assault, sirens in the street—and becomes a masterclass in survival, strategy, and justice. We sit with Lindsay Hendricks as she walks us through the realities most people never see: the cycle of abuse, the excuses that keep you trapped, the way gaslighting isolates you from family, and the hard choices you make when children are watching everything.

We get candid about the legal fork in the road: take it to trial and risk retraumatizing testimony, or accept a plea that guarantees decades behind bars. The team chooses to protect the children—and two judges go further. Ada County hands down 65 years fixed. Canyon County follows with life without parole, after playing a recorded jail call where the abuser and his mother mock the victims’ pain. It’s the rare moment when the system does what it should.

This conversation is raw and emotional. We outline red flags worth memorizing, how to build a quiet exit plan, why hidden savings matter, and how to document everything without jeopardizing an investigation. We talk therapy, survivor mindset, and the guilt that can swallow a parent whole—and how to keep it from consuming your life. We also push for change: clearer minimums for child sexual abuse, tech-savvy investigations, and judges who match sentences to the harm done.

If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to get from sirens to sentencing—and how to support someone living in fear—this is your blueprint. Listen, share it with someone who might need it, and if this resonates, subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what chaos you want to hear next.

 If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, it’s important to know you’re not alone. Confidential help is available at the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org. 

Chapters

• 0:00 The Night Everything Broke
• 0:57 Content Warning And Guest Introduction
• 3:13 Alcohol, PTSD Claims, And First Assault
• 8:45 Police Limits And A Systemic Failure
• 14:30 Public Violence, Escalation, And Control
• 22:10 Why Survivors Stay And The Plan To Leave
• 30:05 Abroad Incidents And Classic Narcissism
• 38:20 Divorce While Co-Living And Isolation Tactics
• 46:15 The Breaking Point And Protecting The Kids
• 54:05 The Disclosure: “Guess The Food” Game
• 1:02:10 CARES Interviews And Evidence Building
• 1:10:25 AI-Generated Abuse Images Discovered
• 1:18:05 Guilt, Therapy, And Coping With Trauma
• 1:26:15 Plea Deal Versus Trial: Protecting Daughters
• 1:32:55 Sentencing In Ada: 65 Years Fixed
• 1:37:10 Sentencing In Canyon: Life Without Parole
• 1:42:45 Reform, Registries, And Prison Reality
• 1:49:20 What Survivors Need: Strategy And Support
• 1:52:40 Lighter Farewell And Sign-Off

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

He had me pinned to the floor. He was on top of me. I'm just yelling. My little ones, about five at the time, in the doorway, just screaming and crying. And I'm telling my daughter, I'm like, take your sister and go. No, mommy, no. And like still trying to pry him off of me. And I was scared. It got really serious.

SPEAKER_04: 0:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 0:15

Sirens are everywhere. As we're leaving like the driveway, I hear a gunshot.

SPEAKER_06: 0:39

Oh, this is going to be a deep one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We're going to see how we can get through this. Lindsay, right? Yep. Welcome. Thank you. Welcome to the show. We have um, I guess before we get started, I'm just gonna say this for all the listeners and watchers. This is gonna be a very graphic episode as far as the nature of it, and I'll explain why. But before it starts, this is going to be a deep conversation. I feel we need to have these types of conversations because it brings light to the sick demonic individuals that are roaming this earth and living with us. So I'll give a quick intro and we're gonna roll right into this because it's a lot. You were previously married, went through a divorce, got remarried during this time you met this man. Things became very violent with him, which your two daughters watched as this relationship evolved. You eventually found yourself in a very domestic, violent relationship. He is putting hands on, he's doing everything you can, and it took you a while to get out of that situation, which I really want to get into that because I feel a lot of women feel trapped, and then a lot of people on the outside like to judge on that, like, dude, just leave. I know easier said than done. So I would like to get a woman's point of view that is stuck in a very violent, domestic, violent relationship, especially with kids involved. And after that relationship, you found out that that man during that time was sexually molesting one of your daughters. And it came out afterward, and then all hell breaks loose, and he is now put away. Thank God, because of the system, our judicial system finally worked for once in the right way. And which doesn't always happen, especially with these individuals. It's disgusting how many of them are getting off and what they're actually getting sentenced with. All right, Lindsay, let's jump into this shit. I'm sure this is gonna be a wild chaos roller coaster of an episode. So who are you? Where where are you from? Let's just dive into it.

SPEAKER_00: 2:53

Um, my name is Lindsay Hendricks. Um, I was born and raised in Boise.

SPEAKER_06: 2:56

You're a boy, damn. I'm a native. You're a native native. We don't get many of those here.

SPEAKER_00: 3:02

Everybody's from California. So born and raised here.

SPEAKER_06: 3:04

Okay, congratulations on being a local. So where did this all start? Let's just let's just start right from the beginning.

SPEAKER_00: 3:13

So um his name's Kenny, and so Kenny and I um had gotten married, and he had always said that he suffers from PTSD because he was in the Navy and had a purple heart and everything. He had a severe drinking problem, which he would blame on PTSD. And when he first got out, he didn't have a job. I mean, I would come home from work and he'd be passed out face first on the floor.

SPEAKER_07: 3:43

At what time?

SPEAKER_00: 3:44

Like five.

SPEAKER_07: 3:46

Oh shit. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04: 3:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 3:49

And especially when he drinks, like he gets very, very violent. And really the first thing that ever happened is I came home and he was passed out on the floor, and I told my kids, I'm like, Don't wake him up. Like, don't wake him up. And of course, he woke up and he was just mad. And I don't even I can't even tell you what he was mad about. And then things started to get violent, and he had me pinned to the floor. He was on top of me. My oldest daughter, who at the time, I want to say she was about seven, okay, was trying to like pry him off of me. And I'm just yelling, my little ones, you know, about five at the time in the doorway, just screaming, crying. And I'm telling my daughter, I'm like, I need you to leave the house and go. I need you to take your sister and go. And like yelling this, and she's like, No, mommy, no, and like still trying to pry him off of me. And she's little. And I pretty much said at one point because she wasn't listening, and I needed her to take her sister and get help. I'm like, get the fuck out of the house. Yeah. Because I I was scared and I didn't want them to witness anything else.

SPEAKER_06: 4:58

Is this your first violent incident with him?

SPEAKER_00: 5:03

Yeah. I mean, I've I'd been pushed a few times, but this is the first where it got really serious.

SPEAKER_04: 5:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 5:10

And so the girls left and they went to the neighbor's house. The neighbor called the police. And then finally, when I was able to get out from underneath them and leave, I, you know, I see the neighbor. I'm I'm already on the phone with the police. I'm taking my daughters down the street. And the cops, we could already hear the sirens. Sirens are everywhere. And as we're leaving, like the driveway, I hear a gunshot. And I don't know. I just I just booked it with my kids.

SPEAKER_06: 5:40

Did you think he killed himself?

SPEAKER_00: 5:41

There was a part of me that thought he did.

SPEAKER_06: 5:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 5:44

Um, and then a cop car had approached us. We got into the back of the cop car and stayed there until we were able to go back, and they arrested him that night.

SPEAKER_05: 5:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 5:53

But then that got bumped down to a disturbing of the peace.

SPEAKER_06: 5:58

So he puts hands on you, shoot and he shot a round off? Where did he shoot this round off?

SPEAKER_00: 6:05

Um, I believe it was in the backyard.

SPEAKER_06: 6:07

Really? So he only got a disturbing the piece for shooting a gun off and putting hands on a woman? That in where was this at? Where where were you guys stationed? Oh, so you're here. So this is Cuna police that just let the Okay. Yeah. Good to know.

SPEAKER_00: 6:21

And so, I mean, Cuna, obviously they put the report out. It's once it got to court, is where he got the disturbing peace. Yeah. Um, so the abuse I mean, it was our entire marriage. Um and it was about two, I I mean, I always knew like this is not going to last forever. Like, I gotta get out of this. And um I finally filed for divorce in uh 2019. And um but the the abuse didn't get any better throughout the entire marriage. I mean, I would call the police because the law had changed, and I don't even know which date it was because I was shocked when I called the police for like a domestic violence um situation, and that's when I was told they cannot arrest unless it's done in the presence of a cop.

SPEAKER_06: 7:15

That blows my mind because I've always I've uh I'm a hundred I would have died on the hill that if a domestic call is placed and someone's going to jail like every night, and it's usually it's usually the dude. Like it's very rare that it does somebody's not getting taken to jail that night or separated from a domestic violence call. So Idaho changed the law at some point that a cop has to witness it in order for somebody to be arrested. How many times did you call the cops on this guy?

SPEAKER_00: 7:44

A lot. Um I would say 20.

SPEAKER_06: 7:51

20?

SPEAKER_00: 7:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 7:53

And every time, nothing.

SPEAKER_00: 7:55

No.

SPEAKER_06: 7:55

Um what's he doing during these times? Because I just want to I want to be able to obviously paint a picture. So the first time he pins you down, you guys are going at it. Was he striking you at this point? Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 8:07

Yeah, there was one time we were in downtown him and I were out to eat or whatever in downtown Boise, and he just became a complete asshole. Like just out of nowhere. And I knew where this was going, especially he he doesn't have any issue with doing anything to to me in public. And um, so I decide to up and I left. Like I hurried, I called an Uber, um, because he had the keys to the car and stuff. I called an Uber. I got home as quickly as possible because he was just on one. And I get home, I lock the garage door, lock, you know, everything, which of course he's gonna get into the house. So I get into bed and I hear that he got home. And I he then donkey kicked the garage door, took it off the frame, busted the garage door down, and then came into the room, and that's when he like ripped me out of my bed, slammed me to the ground, and just started hitting me in the face. Really? Busted my lip open. Yeah, I had um and had his hands around my neck and um bruises over my arms. Um, I did not call that night because uh I was terrified because that I mean, I had my kids and I'm bleeding. Um but then um I made him leave the house. I'd like not like that that moment, but the other day, the um like the next day and everything. And I'm like, here's your clothes, and just threw him in the driveway.

SPEAKER_06: 9:38

How did he react to that?

SPEAKER_00: 9:40

You know, he is very good at um after he's like sobered up in the next day and stuff, and then he wants to apologize, and you know, that's what abusers do is for sure they try to say, I'll never do that again, and they always do it again.

SPEAKER_06: 9:57

So is he spinning this every time now he now you're reading the playbook before obviously as this incident is are starting to escalate and you know he's about to get violent or being violent. Is it almost textbook? Are you reading him at this point?

SPEAKER_00: 10:12

Yeah, I can tell when something's about to go down.

SPEAKER_06: 10:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 10:15

And I learned because if I don't engage, if I don't engage in like the yelling and stuff, then um maybe it'll only last him screaming and carrying on for maybe 45 minutes. But if I engage, now we're going into like two hours, like all night, trying to just try to go to bed. So I just try to like tune him out. And there's a lot of times when he would sit there and just be going off, and I just kind of quit caring, like, if you're gonna do something, just do it already, you know? Got to that point. Yeah, and like I would respond to him like, Yep, you're right. Sure, you're right, you know, just it didn't matter what I what I said. And then um if I was if him and I were in an argument or he was pissed off or whatever it was, he would tell my kids like the only reason she's being nice to you is because she's mad at me. Like, would use my kids and make them feel like um I'm only doing this. I'm like, why would I be mad at my kids right now? I mean, right, I'm gonna be nice to my kids, but he would say that using them as a pawn.

SPEAKER_06: 11:21

So as the abuse continues, as these things, is it did it escalate like slowly than you just you realize one day you woke up and you're in this shitty relationship, or was it just immediate, like it snapped? Because I like to know or understand just from like a guy's point of view, because obviously I'm a girl dad and I want my daughters to be able to recognize red flags, major red flags. And obviously, I mean, like you were married previously, now you're in a new relationship. Like, are you just trying to hang on because you like what's the reason? And I and I ask questions here because I I just it's more it's just out of curiosity, and I like to just know, you know. So it's like, what kept you in this abusive relationship?

SPEAKER_00: 12:09

You know, I've I mean it was I was in a situation that I had never in my life thought I would ever be in. And it's it can happen to anybody.

SPEAKER_05: 12:20

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 12:21

And one, you know, I had to come up with a game plan. Everything was in my name the house, the vehicles, everything. Um and I knew he was not gonna make it easy. So I just had to figure out, okay, what am I gonna do? How am I gonna do this? I have my kids, you know, and um and there's always that hope that you think somebody could change. They're not going to, but you there is that hope that people that are in an abusive relationship are hope that's what they think. There's also a lot of shame that now I'm gonna be about to get divorced for the second time.

SPEAKER_06: 12:58

And you think a lot of that kept you trapped?

SPEAKER_00: 13:01

A lot of that, so I knew it would not be an easy divorce. I knew his reaction. Um my I never told my family about the abuse during it.

SPEAKER_06: 13:12

They didn't think you should have looking back on it now.

SPEAKER_00: 13:15

Um, probably not my dad.

SPEAKER_06: 13:17

Why?

SPEAKER_00: 13:18

Because he's a dad. And probably he would have reacted in a for sure dad way.

SPEAKER_06: 13:24

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 13:25

Um I've always been pretty quiet about like my relationships. You know, growing up, it was, you know, anything that's going on, and this isn't an excuse. I mean, I should have because it's a totally different situation. Is if you are having an issue in your marriage, you don't want to bring in outside resources because they're going to maybe influence you in different ways. There were some people of my friends that didn't know about it. Um, like I'd stayed at friends, me and my kids went and stayed at like a couple friends' houses before because when the cops get called and they can't do anything, I'm like, well, can you have them leave? They can't make him leave. So I'm on I'm always the one that has to go get a hotel. I'm the one that has to leave the house.

SPEAKER_06: 14:05

Which weighs on your kids. I mean, your kids are seeing this and living it.

SPEAKER_00: 14:09

As long as the hotel had a pool, they were fine.

SPEAKER_06: 14:11

Okay. Yeah, it was a big ask.

SPEAKER_00: 14:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 14:13

Yeah, it kind of keeps them distracted while you're trying to rethink and get your life back, like figuring out what's the next step. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 14:21

Yep. And he also, I mean, he's he had a lot of guns too. You know, I there's a lot of things I had to c take into consideration. But um finally, I was just like, I'm done. Like, I'm just, I don't even care. I don't even care if I l had to live in my car. I'm like, I'm just done.

SPEAKER_06: 14:40

What was that moment? Do you remember the aha where like I can't take this anymore?

SPEAKER_00: 14:45

Um I wasn't I can't keep doing this to my kids. They're girls. And I don't want them to ever think that this is okay.

SPEAKER_06: 14:56

For sure. And they're learning that it's okay.

SPEAKER_00: 14:59

Yeah. And thankfully, I mean they're older now, but that they I mean, to them everything at this point's a red flag. So um and it going through it, I mean, it didn't necessarily like just like gradually get worse, worse and worse. It's he got more confident, you know, doing it.

SPEAKER_04: 15:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 15:23

Because we went to Thailand for a trip, him and I, and he was drunk, whatever. And it was we were just sitting on the beach, and I just wasn't really chatty. It had nothing to do with anything. I just wasn't really chatty. Well, that set him off. And I'm just trying to just walk away from him. So I walk into like a mall and stuff, just trying to get away from him. He's following me, yelling, and there's people, but when you go into these other countries, nobody wants to get involved. Like he threw me up the escalator and I hit like went flying into like the trash can. And people were just looking and they aren't looking.

SPEAKER_06: 15:57

Yeah, they don't want And you're just trapped.

SPEAKER_00: 16:00

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm like, great. And then um we had taken our kid we had taken my kids um to Thailand again, so the kids got to come. And we were in the airport leaving Thailand, and it was the Hong Kong airport, and he was just pissed off because he had I had already tried to file for divorce, I already had filed for divorce, and he invited himself to come to Thailand with us, so he came, and so I wanted nothing to do with him, and he knew that. And um, so we got to the Hong Kong airport um once we arrived there, and he was off. We had an 11-hour layover, he was off drinking the entire time. He comes back, and I'm just sitting there at the terminal with my kids, and um there's an an another American sitting there, and um he said hello, and nothing had happened. I'm like, Oh, where are you from? He's like, I'm actually from Colorado. Like, oh, cool, yeah, we're from Idaho. Um, and then he walks up as I'm we're talking about where we're from and caused the biggest scene. Like, oh god. Just bless this kid's heart because I think he was probably maybe like 23. And he's like, Like, who the fuck is this? Is this your new boyfriend? You know, I'm like, oh my gosh. Like I was mortified. I was like in the Hong Kong airport. And so um, I just I'm ignoring him. Me and the girls went and just sat on the floor because it was my little one wanted to sleep and stuff. We had our blankets, and then he gets mad and he rips the blanket off of me and my oldest daughter because she's awake. My little one slept through this and started calling me like a bitch, calling her a bitch, um, just going off. And that kid went and found another American because nobody else was doing anything. Found another American, and a guy came up and said, You're not gonna speak to these girls like that. He's like, I can smell alcohol on you. And um, and then of course Kenny tries to act all tough and and everything. And yeah, this American just stood up. He's like, I'm watching you yell at these poor girls. Like, you cannot abuse them this way. And um, I I wasn't positive if a fight was about to break out. I have no idea. And then the security came and everything. You know, I was hoping they weren't gonna let him on the flight, but they did, but they moved us away from him.

SPEAKER_04: 18:32

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_00: 18:33

Yeah. So it never really like he just got more confident. So it wasn't like it escalated. I mean, when you think about the red flags drinking yourself to passing out, uh, getting angry when you're drunk, for sure. Um I mean when you learn those narcissistic behaviors huge red flag. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 19:01

Gaslighting and gas and deflecting and everything else that comes with it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 19:06

Making you look like you're the crazy one.

SPEAKER_06: 19:08

Absolutely. Which is hard for a lot of people because I don't know, how old are you? 38. So you're close. You we grew up with a certain generation of parent where I think a lot of them have those tendencies, and so it's easy for us to not immediately call out, oh, this person has all narcissistic tendencies, because a lot of our generation, I think, were grown up, I don't want to say with narcissistic parents, but just that style of parenting, like deflect, and it's your fault, and everything else that comes with it. So you're trying to learn all of this at the same time, and you're keeping it hush from your family.

SPEAKER_00: 19:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 19:45

That's gotta be your own living nightmare.

SPEAKER_00: 19:48

Yeah, and it was I was always so worried, like my mom's very passive. Like she's just If she ever said something to him. um about it. I was worried also what he would have maybe said to her, like hurt her feelings or yell at her. I mean, she's just not good with that. And I didn't know what he would say or do.

SPEAKER_04: 20:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 20:14

Um, but once you know I'd filed for divorce, you know, uh how do you take that?

SPEAKER_06: 20:20

So when you he got served, obviously if this dude's a violent ass. Is he a big guy?

SPEAKER_00: 20:25

He's like a skinny six foot one.

SPEAKER_06: 20:28

Okay. So when he finally gets served, how did all of if he's got this much anger issues, he's a drunk, obviously he's a huge piece of shit human being that we're gonna find out later. How did this go down? I mean were are you just shitting right now like stressed out to the max or are you like, oh this has to happen. Like well how do you feel serving this guy and how did he take it?

SPEAKER_00: 20:48

So I had um somebody come and serve him. Okay. And so we have a dorbell camera and so I'm watching this on the Dorbow camera because he likes to act like he's so tough. Yeah. And he's not um and so he gets served and as the server guy or whatever starts to leave um he like walks up like I never saw you and threw the uh like the envelope out into the lawn and you see him like five seconds later go and pick up the envelope. Like what were we doing? Yeah you look like an idiot um so no I I mean I told him it's coming too I said yeah I'm filing for divorce you're gonna you're gonna be getting served.

SPEAKER_06: 21:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 21:32

At that point I just didn't care. Didn't care.

SPEAKER_06: 21:36

Are you scared at this point? Are you out of the house or were you guys still living together?

SPEAKER_00: 21:40

We left we lived together through the entire divorce how is that he was obviously a lot more angry um there was I mean there was still abuse going on and he's still abusing you through the divorce you have nowhere to go I mean they'll tell you like you can go to the women's shelter and stuff but I'm not taking my kids to the woman's shelter that's gonna traumatize them.

SPEAKER_06: 22:10

Are you still hiding this from your parents?

SPEAKER_00: 22:12

No as soon as I filed my parents you couldn't go there so when I would finally snap and he's like yelling and everything he would start recording me. And I tell him I don't take back anything I just said to you and I'm not sorry. I meant it. So once he started recording me that's what he started sending to like my mom my brother to paint you as the bad guy okay and I'm like well no he's abusive and since this is the first time that you know my mom's hearing this and I didn't tell my dad until my my stepmom was dying from glioblastoma so I wanted him to focus on that. So I didn't tell my dad right away. But then now you know my mom's looking at and my brother and everybody just like wow she is crazy you know and um so I didn't speak to them I didn't speak to my mom for six months.

SPEAKER_06: 23:06

So he did a good enough job convincing your whole family that you're the crazy abusive one which I feel this is a tactic in some of these guys like oh yeah that they they pay to isolate you absolutely because then if you have no family you have nobody to turn to or run to so he's doing a good job of turning your whole family against you. Are you do you have any footage of him? Are you getting any like evidence of all of this to be able to like counter any of this or were you just not in that thought process?

SPEAKER_00: 23:35

I did. I mean so I have a lot of like a lot of video recordings and stuff because I always wanted in case something did happen like I have something that they know who did it like you can't lie about it. But once you know I I had heard their opinions on the whole situation I was like why send anything?

SPEAKER_06: 23:52

Oh okay you felt pretty hurt at this point?

SPEAKER_00: 23:54

Yeah but you know I'm your daughter yeah you know and um why didn't you ask me more questions? They immediately sided with him like that was crazy. Because I was a little bit of a helian as a little child yeah but so no um I wasn't gonna give them give them that you know if you're not gonna sit there and maybe question me you know maybe have some questions for me see what's actually going on no immediately sided with him that has the cut pretty deep it did like it it it did and I don't I I've forgiven you know my mom I've totally forgiven her and she's apologized because things started clicking for her so um and I've moved on past past that you know um but yeah no I had nowhere else to go so you're stuck in this divorce with this abusive fuck of a human being we'll get there God you're stuck in your own prison how long did this last the divorce the divorce took a year you had to live with this dude for a year while he's still putting hands on you I left a lot though like I would um I traveled a lot for work too so I was able to go I could take my kids in the summertime with me and um I tried to not be around him as much as possible. For sure um I think one of the you know him hitting me or whatever I just remember one of the times I'm standing I think I was getting ready in the bathroom and I'm looking at the mirror and he just comes in yelling and everything and I'm just like okay and he spits in my face that probably pissed me off more than anything else that you spit my face and I just sat there I'm like don't do anything don't do anything that type of person huh?

SPEAKER_06: 25:50

Yeah you didn't have any like big ass dudes on the side that you could just call and be like yo can you come whoop this guy's ass you know like no girlfriend's hut but boyfriend that'll come and just tune this dude dude up. I didn't want to get people involved you know like what happens if yeah there's like a whole there's a whole demographic of guys like me that just we pray for these moments.

SPEAKER_00: 26:14

Yeah like I wish you would so it's so his husband's beating him you need to get to that like I like tag me in like I am gonna lay a just I know damn this is the perfect dude for it too yeah I mean there's a lot of things you know I look back on and I'm you know you you always look back at things and I should have done that differently you know I for sure how old were you at this point?

SPEAKER_06: 26:41

How many years ago is this?

SPEAKER_00: 26:43

Um so that would be what six years ago?

SPEAKER_06: 26:51

Okay so you've done a lot of growing and maturing I mean you look back I mean I my wife and I talk about all the time when we look back on shit like just parenting stuff we're like oh my God you know because it's we're like oh we never would have like now if you had a kid it's just completely different. So I I mean I get it. And this is why I like to ask certain questions because there's a lot of women in this situation that are stuck or trapped and then obviously a lot of people judge like oh just get out of there but there's and it's hard for I would like to say men to like hear this and just be like well fuck woman just get out just go. You know because we we're not in those scenarios. We're not the ones that are trapped and our finances are tied up or whatever it may be. So that's why like it's tough and it's such a sensitive area because if you don't do it right there's a lot of women that are killed that try to leave. Yeah. And that's where I think a huge fear of it comes from is that moment. I mean he shot a round off in your backyard that's a huge like bar setter of like okay this dude has a tenant he he could possibly do something.

SPEAKER_00: 27:54

Yeah. Yeah and that's the thing you know is I have had I had tons of people telling me all the time like why don't you just leave why don't you leave well the thing is and that's easy to say and before I was in this situation I probably would have said the same thing. Yeah but what are the number one factors and why it takes people so long to leave is money you know if whether you're you know single mom and you're not single mom like you're a stay-at-home mom or you know the fear of what is going to happen and there's also that there's always that hope that they're going to change. And it when somebody's ready to leave they'll leave.

SPEAKER_06: 28:40

Do you think a lot that's what traps a lot of women I mean keeps is the hope that they're they love this man so much that he's gonna change. I swear he's he says he's gonna change he promised me he's gonna change and then a year later I mean they're just still beat to shit or they end up dead or I mean yeah because I I hate to say this but like I at one point loved this man.

SPEAKER_00: 29:02

You know and it's kind of like a death when you go through like a divorce, you know and by the time I was actually ready to go I was like no I'm I I feel nothing for this person. But yeah during that time I mean you fall in love with you fall in love with them at some point and leaving is a lot more difficult and I think it's important for people to know that they'll leave when they're ready but they also need to have a support system. Even though you're probably sick and tired of telling them the same thing, you know, and they're still going back and you know they need to have a support system.

SPEAKER_06: 29:42

Yeah. Which I feel that's probably a huge portion don't and that's why they don't have any support in in leaving and they're just stuck and that's it's crazy to think about like I'll go on the record I don't never put my hands on my wife I may have like snatched her up a couple times and she needed it but she does it to me. I say that in a joking way probably not the best episode for that but I just it's hard for me to fathom like a man doing that to in living in in a woman living in that life and I always hear her you know she's always watching like every other woman these murder mystery shows and all the shit and that's how it starts of just like oh I came home one night drunk or grabbing me one night and then it just escalated and it just and then before they know it they're in these wild relationships where these guys that they meet are these prints in shining armor and they give them the world and they take them all over the place and they just come off as the most greatest individual ever but then there's a switch and I feel that's where a lot of women hang on to that early honeymoon stage of a relationship where it was oh my god it was great we were in love we were traveling it was the best ever and then fast forward a year or two or however long it takes for them to settle in and then you really get to find out who these people are was this a fast marriage did you meet this guy was it a pretty quick or did you really get to know this guy um we it was fast like a year okay you think you should have waited a little longer I mean knowing I'm not necessarily me questioning I'm just saying learning the the the through what you've been through do you feel like now okay we're gonna build a really long relationship to get to know these and I I only ask because I heard that's one of my biggest rules is hey build a foundation build get to know who when you're dating get to know who these people are because eventually the the shell wears off and you get to really truly see who people are.

SPEAKER_00: 31:48

Well yeah I mean I like I told my daughters too my I this is the age I mean at least be this age before you get married but and a lot of people aren't going to agree with this and I I would never marry somebody if I haven't lived with you.

SPEAKER_07: 32:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 32:07

Because you don't know the quirks you don't know all the other things and and that's not everybody's you know uh viewpoint but but after being what I've been through like I don't know if I wouldn't be surprised you marry 'em and now now you're moving in with them and maybe you hate the way they chew. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05: 32:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 32:31

Yeah. It's the it's the sour roommate effect where you you know and it I'm big on it because you know it's you you have you meet this you get a new roommate and you guys are like oh just move in together and you're best friends and then before you know it just them breathing in the next room and you're like oh my fa I can't I gotta get at it. Then you're trapped and that happens with relationships I feel especially this younger generation like you gotta you know she's what's about to be 18 or you just turn 18. Okay I got one right behind those heels so it's you know and you I watch her friends and I watch this generation of these kids and they just they glue and they get so attached so quick and it's like oh my god please just get to know who these people are that was one of my big asks when we were going into the dating world like just build the friendship for as long as possible because they will sniff themselves out they will always always show their ass eventually you'll see who these these people are yeah and it's it goes like that obviously in the adult world because he put on a pretty good facade for a while.

SPEAKER_00: 33:36

Yeah he's good at lying he's a good liar that sucks storyteller so the divorce finally goes through you are able to finally breathe in a way for how long until things started coming up so this I found out the rest of it last year June of last year.

SPEAKER_06: 34:00

How long were you divorced for?

SPEAKER_00: 34:03

Um five five years? Okay so there were some some periods so you've started a whole new life you've moved on from this god awful relationship with this with this dude then how does everything come to fruition where he's now put away for life so um I was at work one day and this was in June of 2024 and my daughter Melissa calls me and she said um hey I want to come talk to you about something I said but I want to talk to you about it in person I'm like about what I just want to talk to you about it in person and no parent wants to hear that what are you talking about? I'm like well what does that have to do with she said Kenny and so I'm just sitting there like like it crossed my mind and I was like no there's no way like there's no way like how would I have not known but you did have a gut feeling it did it it wasn't necessarily like I was for sure but it did it did pop into my mind. So um she gets to my office and um I'm like hey what's going on and she just starts telling me that um Kenny has touched her the entire time that we were together and it started off with a game called Guess the food on my finger. And so he blindfolded her and I'm at work mind you blindfolded her and first started off with you know um like peanut butter it was some like chocolate um just different things and then the last thing that um he did he he put his dick in her mouth how old is she at this point this is when it first about seven so this and you met him when she was around that age so it happened pretty quick yep and since she had seen the abuse um so as she's telling me this and you know I really didn't speak a lot um when she was saying it and I'm like did he like did he have sex with you? Did he try to have sex with you? She said yes and and I'm I'm just like staring I don't even know what I was staring at in my office and she said that he also tried to put it in her butt and um and I don't even know some parts of that I kind of started to like kind of black out a little bit as she's speaking and um I said to her I said the first thing I asked her was how often do you think about this? And she said you know now this has been years. She's sat with us for years. And um she said sometimes I do but you know I try not to how old is she at this point when she came to you?

SPEAKER_06: 37:15

Uh 16 Oh boy so this young girl has carried this for a long time and um then I asked her I'm like where was I?

SPEAKER_00: 37:28

She's like um like at the gym or at work um like I traveled for work too um sometimes you may have been in your bedroom and he would just go up into her bedroom or take her on a drive like let's go to the gas station get candy but we're gonna go down to Lake Lowell first and then he would make her perform oral sex.

SPEAKER_06: 37:50

And this is all going on and you have no idea.

SPEAKER_00: 37:54

No idea not even an inkling like he's the type you know loves his guns country like if anybody ever touched our kids I'd fucking kill him um and you don't marry somebody think that they're ever gonna touch your your child ever. No and um and I'm just sitting there listening to her and she's like you're not saying anything I and I was just I don't have I don't really have anything to say at this very moment but I will because I am just I didn't I don't even know if I was processing.

SPEAKER_06: 38:33

This is your worst nightmare coming true.

SPEAKER_00: 38:35

It is like this never in my life did I ever think this and I told her we're I'm I'm going to be reporting this to the police. So you know and um she had left and I I eventually just left work. Um and first thing I did was I actually called my husband and um told him what I just found out. And um of course you know in the beginning he's like I'll take care of it. I'm like no we're gonna call the police like we're gonna call the police like I'm you should have let him take care of it. Oh well later that night after a bottle of wine I was about to take care of it myself but um no so I get off the phone with him and I just start calling pretty much every police department. So we live you know over in the star area so I call star. It's not our jurisdiction so then I'm like okay I'm just I don't know how many police departments I called but then one of her best friends her parents um were both police officers.

SPEAKER_06: 39:36

Why was it not star's juris jurisdiction if you live there?

SPEAKER_00: 39:40

Um well we we live there currently yeah but it was done in Cuna Oh so that's why they couldn't touch it in county okay okay that makes okay I can see that so I called you know um her friend's mom and it's like it told her what was going on and so she got me in touch um with the Cuna police department And um they took a statement from me on the phone. And I'm in panic mode. Like I am just like, I need somebody at my house right now. Like I need I need something. I need you guys to do something. I'm freaking out. And it wasn't until a couple days or so later um we got a phone call. We're getting us scheduled, getting the girls scheduled for what they call the cares interview. Where they go down to like the uh like faces of hope in downtown Boise.

SPEAKER_04: 40:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 40:25

And they meet with like social workers, nurses, um, and they ask the questions and it's recorded. And then detectives are on the other side listening. So when we get down there to the um to the cares interviews, we're first met with, you know, social workers, um, nurses, a doctor, because Lydia had to get an exam done. And then um several detectives, police officers. So um the girls start their cares interview. Well, before that, when I first found out about this, um, I'm a complete mess. And me and my husband were talking about um, we need to talk to my youngest daughter, just to see. And um I wasn't in any con any position to be able to go ask her. Like I I couldn't hold it together.

SPEAKER_05: 41:18

Oh, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00: 41:19

So he's like, okay, I'm I'm gonna go talk to her. And she had, when he asked, you know, did did can you ever do anything like touch you or anything? And she immediately just like started crying, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. And the only thing that happened to her was the guest of food game. And never nothing ever happened after that.

SPEAKER_05: 41:42

But that's enough.

SPEAKER_00: 41:44

And when I had asked, you know, like like when I asked my daughter when she came and told me all this stuff, I'm like, why didn't you tell me? Well, because he had said um that I would either be taken away and she would never see me again, or something would happen to me. And since she's seen the abuse, she held on to this all those years to protect me. But I hold a lot of guilt.

SPEAKER_06: 42:11

For sure. What would you have done different? Now, obviously, I know you've racked through this scenario a million times in your head, but what would have been a huge lesson that you would have showed your girls or taught your girls knowing everything you know now, not predicting that was gonna happen, but what would you have done different?

SPEAKER_00: 42:31

If you can't tell me, tell someone else. And even though even though I would say this to them, it doesn't mean they're gonna do it. Would don't worry about me. Um but tell somebody.

SPEAKER_06: 42:51

That's terrifying. So now that you've found out that both of your girls have been molested by your ex, you're in full rage mode, I can imagine.

SPEAKER_00: 43:04

Yeah, I I I don't even know if I could put I could give a word of what I was feeling. And so we're doing the cares interviews, and um my youngest, her interview was about 30 minutes or so, wasn't very long.

SPEAKER_06: 43:19

Are you able to sit in on these interviews or they pull your children from you? Is that a horrible feeling? Um there for them.

SPEAKER_00: 43:29

Yes, but then I also know I had that thought too, would they have held back if I was sitting there?

SPEAKER_04: 43:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 43:38

Um and my oldest daughter, she was in her cares interview for over two hours. So at this point, I don't know exactly every single detail. I just know the things that she has told me so far. And so after the cares interviews, the detectives met with me and my husband. And um they had they had told us that, you know, three minutes three months prior to when we reported it, an investigation was already started on him with some other children.

SPEAKER_07: 44:09

House.

SPEAKER_00: 44:10

Um, that some kids had lived in his neighborhood. That his house became the hangout house. I'm like, what a weird thing when you don't have any kids in your home. And these kids are around like 12, 13 years old.

SPEAKER_06: 44:26

Obviously, your scenario is a little bit different. You're living with this dude.

SPEAKER_01: 44:30

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06: 44:32

But the fact that a parent would allow a child to go to a straight best friends of the fucking family or not, I don't care. The fact that you're allowing a child of any age to go into a home with a grown man unsupervised, that like you're just asking for it at that point. My dude, our youngest won't even she babysits for people, and they're no. Like if there's just the dad, shey, I didn't feel comfortable with dad's home. I'm just gonna stay out front. Cool.

SPEAKER_00: 45:03

And I don't know if some of these parents, I know, like I don't know if all of them knew that they were hanging out there because he was supplying them with alcohol and weed.

unknown: 45:15

My god.

SPEAKER_05: 45:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 45:17

So we found that out, and that was shocking because I had no idea. Which I never I never doubted my daughter telling me. It was just more of like a disbelief of There's more. How was this happening?

SPEAKER_06: 45:30

So are these kids turning him in for the weed and alcohol or for being a pervert?

SPEAKER_00: 45:36

He tried to seduce him. Tried to get him to do things to him.

SPEAKER_06: 45:41

And these are girls in the neighborhood or were there boys too?

SPEAKER_00: 45:44

It was girls.

SPEAKER_06: 45:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 45:46

Yep. And they're like, You're finding all this out. I'm finding out all this stuff. And um then they had to go into a little bit more details of what she had said during her carers' interviews, so some things I wasn't aware of. So um he would get extremely mad at her if he if she didn't let him ejaculate in her mouth. Um obviously for her, um, when she would cry or you know, that her hurt for sex or whatever it was, he's like, well let's just put it in your butt. So I'm I mean sick to my stomach. And I that was about the time when I was starting to just lose my mind. And so like even like when she gave her um victim witness statement, she put some of that stuff in there for the judge to hear.

SPEAKER_04: 46:59

Good.

SPEAKER_00: 47:00

Um so the whole process of this, after we're finding out, you know, all these details and you know, I guess some things had happened when we were um at a soccer tournament in Vegas. So we could have gone after him in in Vegas too, and then Montana went on a camping trip. But after all this was done, I was like, no, I'm not even gonna touch those. I went this over with.

SPEAKER_06: 47:24

Oh, so they could open up cases in other states because he was molesting your daughter in those states so that filed so they other states could have gone after him. Okay. Okay, I'm tracking that. So this has happened irregularly. How often did you ever find out? I mean, was it a weekly thing, monthly thing, daily thing?

SPEAKER_00: 47:43

Um like just different things.

SPEAKER_06: 47:46

Like how often is he molesting your daughter?

SPEAKER_00: 47:48

Um she tried to remember some of the time frames, but it was pretty often.

SPEAKER_06: 47:54

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00: 47:55

And yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 47:56

Um how long did it go on for? Since she was seven till you guys got divorced, or did it phase out? Was he continuous through it?

SPEAKER_00: 48:04

About a year after our divorce.

SPEAKER_06: 48:06

A year after the divorce? How did he still have contact with her?

SPEAKER_00: 48:10

So because the girls had did have a relationship with him. I mean, the abuse I got out of the marriage, you know, I don't have to live with him, you know. But um He as in some aspects was a father figure. Obviously, not a good one, but um, so they would go and see him and stuff, but I eventually I'd cut that off. Like I it wasn't when I would see that he would get really, really angry, and then I had seen that he was driving drunk with my kids in the car. I was like, no.

SPEAKER_06: 48:47

Was there ever any sign that they didn't want to go see him? Did they ever put up a fight? They were always so they were I don't know the term for I mean, obviously they were groomed. I guess my question is, when did your oldest realize that what he was doing was wrong? Because if you're if you're divorced, and technically she could have been like, I don't want to go see this dude anymore, and I'm sure you'd have been like, okay, that's fine with me. But instead, they're still going to his house, she's still being molested by this guy year after your divorce. When did it click in your daughter's mind, like, okay, good touch, bad touch, this isn't this isn't right? Did she learn something in school? Did somebody have a conversation with her and get brought up? I mean, what made her what clicked in her to come to you with this?

SPEAKER_00: 49:35

So she was working with a girl um at her job, and the girl had disclosed to her something that her dad had done to her. And her only regret regret was that she did not come to her mom sooner. So then she, my daughter told her boyfriend, and he's like, It was either like, you need to tell your mom, or if you don't, I'm going to type. So that's when she came to me the next day.

SPEAKER_07: 50:00

No shit.

SPEAKER_00: 50:01

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06: 50:01

So if that never happened, who even knows how long she would have waited, or if ever.

SPEAKER_00: 50:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 50:08

That's terrifying.

SPEAKER_00: 50:10

Yeah. And it was always a worry, it's up still to this day. I mean, it's not like there's closure at all. But we've been able to process some of it, but you know, this is gonna live with them for the rest of their lives. Like this is but it's definitely shaped them into this is what I want and this is what I don't want.

SPEAKER_04: 50:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 50:36

And so they're very, very aware um of people's behaviors. Anything that just kind of throws them off, like like that's weird. Like, and they know now that if anything ever happened, like you that you tell me right away.

SPEAKER_05: 50:53

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: 50:54

So the whole court, I mean, this lasted a year, all of this. And um, when they finally were getting ready to arrest him, um, they had him meet him at the Boise Airport because he was getting back from Georgia, visiting his family in Georgia.

SPEAKER_06: 51:06

It took him a year to build a case on this guy?

SPEAKER_00: 51:08

Uh, for before sentencing.

SPEAKER_06: 51:10

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 51:11

So once he got arrested, um they met him at the terminal in the Boise Airport, arrested him. Um, they confiscated his phone, and at the same time while he was being arrested, there was a a search warrant for his house. So there's already cops in his house taking out all of his devices.

SPEAKER_04: 51:27

Good.

SPEAKER_00: 51:28

And so they took his phone, um, and then um it took them a really long time to be able to get into his phone. Um, they went, they had Ada had it, and then they sent it over to Canyon, and Canyon got in. Then that's when we really saw what he had been hiding in his phone. Um, he was AI generating photos of naked women with my kids' faces on.

SPEAKER_07: 52:00

And this is your ex-husband.

SPEAKER_00: 52:02

Uh-huh. So he would take pictures like off my social media or their social media, and then AI generate their faces over a woman's naked body, maybe a video. Unfortunately, he still had a video from when him and I were married. And he AI generated my oldest daughter's face over mine.

SPEAKER_06: 52:28

During a video of you two. Of an intimate video.

SPEAKER_00: 52:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_06: 52:33

Did you ever get to see any of this? How did that hit you?

SPEAKER_00: 52:37

So um I had to go into the prosecuting office and I had to look at it. They just did a still photo of it, so not the video. Okay. But it was the one of me and then the one of her. And they they were making this, this is gonna be hard. And I'm like, okay. And they flip them over, and I maybe like a second, I looked, that one's Lydia. And that image has not left my mind since.

SPEAKER_06: 53:09

Body and face, or her face on somebody else's body?

SPEAKER_00: 53:12

Her face on my body.

SPEAKER_06: 53:14

Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 53:20

And they found I think about thousands of videos and photos on his phone.

SPEAKER_07: 53:28

Thousands?

SPEAKER_00: 53:31

Yeah. And um some kids that they couldn't identify. Um, like where he's getting maybe just off social media or something.

SPEAKER_06: 53:40

Thousands of AI generated pictures. So he's just grabbing But a ten of my kids.

SPEAKER_00: 53:49

And you know, this is a horrible say, but I'm glad that they did find something on his phone because the worry, and this was my daughter's worry too, is at this point, before the they found anything, it was her word against his. Well now this solidifies the behavior. And now we're not as worried going into court. So um yeah, they found tons of photos and videos and tons of video or pictures? Mm-hmm. Um I mean, some of these photos without they're like they just showed me like like one of the photos that was taken off my Instagram. I mean, I think my daughter was in her unicorn shirt. Like that's they're they were little. And um It it I lost I lost my mind for about a good year. Like to the point I was like, somebody better take me to a mental institute. I was losing my mind.

SPEAKER_06: 54:59

What what over just how it happened? Or was it just a combination of everything? Was it seeing those photos?

SPEAKER_00: 55:07

It was what he did to my daughters, the guilt of not being able to protect him, uh not knowing that I brought this man into my kids' lives. Um how did I not know? Like there was no signs, like there was zero signs.

SPEAKER_06: 55:32

People are so easy, especially the social media world. Everyone's so quick to she should have, he should have, and all this stuff. And that's why I like to ask them these questions because everybody's scenario is different. And it's like here you're sitting here saying, like, yeah, okay, this guy was a huge piece of shit that put his hands on you and was a drunk asshole, but you had zero signs that he was molesting your children.

SPEAKER_01: 55:56

Yeah, nothing.

SPEAKER_06: 55:57

And nothing from them. Was there ever a point in your daughter's life where did you see a change? Did they start to become secluded, or was everything just happily bubbly going on with life? Or was there so much violence in that home that it was just kind of everything was suppressed? I mean, so I'm I'm just trying to build the picture because for other for people listening, I mean, if you're looking for signs and things, you there was nothing that you picked up on.

SPEAKER_01: 56:24

Nothing. Nothing like that. No, nothing.

SPEAKER_06: 56:27

That's scary.

SPEAKER_00: 56:28

Mm-hmm. And these people that they're good. Like they're people get away with it for years.

SPEAKER_06: 56:37

Yeah, it's a demon that legit I feel like just controls how they can get away with it. I mean, we just had a woman on that's dealing with the CPS, and I mean, what she was saying, how this dude was groomed her whole entire family. She they had no idea he was a pedophile. And they let him into his home, into their home.

SPEAKER_00: 56:55

Yep. Yep. And I mean, this man has two kids from his previous marriage.

SPEAKER_06: 57:03

Did that get investigated?

SPEAKER_00: 57:06

Um the mom had spoken to them and nothing had happened. They don't really have anything to do with him now. Um which for my oldest, you know, she f she holds guilt because now this affects because she still is close with her ex sip step siblings. She's still close with them. So she felt guilty because now their dad's locked up. I'm like, no, no, no, you can't. And they and they say the same thing to her too. It's no, you made it so that way he can't hurt another child ever again.

SPEAKER_06: 57:45

And that'll be a process of just growing and processing this how serious this is. And I think uh obviously with age she'll realize that what she did was, I mean, damn near a hero because who if he was already grooming other kids in the neighborhood, how long would this go on? I don't I I can't speak for pedophiles, but I feel like once you cross that line, there's you d it just doesn't go away. Like once you get that taste, like there's they don't I don't think pedophiles just like never mind, I'm not into that anymore. Yeah, change my I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna shift I'm gonna switch up now and go out and pursue something else. Like I feel like once you're down that rabbit hole, there's you're never coming out of it. So there only there's only two things for them life in prison or a bullet behind the back of the ear, and that's that's the only thing that pedophiles deserve. So she did the right thing for sure.

SPEAKER_00: 58:39

And I she knows that. Um and she even put that in her victim witness statement was you know, not being able to ever hurt another child again. Yeah. And so yeah, it was a lot of, you know, there's a lot of court hearings, and it was a lot of just setting another date, setting another date. You know, they're doing their investigation, the the detectives did an awesome job. Um, our prosecuting team did a phenomenal job. Um, they had to put up with me for a year. Um, because as I was losing my mind, I'm just like starting typing emails and text and like, okay, where are we at? Why is it taking this so long? Like just losing my mind. I even told like my mom, told my husband, I think somebody needs to take me to a mental institute because I am losing it. It consumed me. It the whole thing consumed me and it was consuming my entire life.

SPEAKER_06: 59:33

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 59:34

And um I I didn't know how to, I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't even know what to do.

SPEAKER_06: 59:40

What was consuming you? The fact that he was it a fear that he might walk one day, or is it wasn't moving fast enough? I mean, or is it just the whole scenario? You're just just that this happened. I mean, you and you allowed not when I say allowed, like it just it happened under your roof. That is it just weighing on you, is it guilt, the stress, thing? Anxiety of the courts. I mean, that's a lot to go through. And this went on for a year.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:04

Mm-hmm. Yep. Um, it was the guilt, but I couldn't I couldn't get out of my mind of what he did to my daughters.

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:14

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:15

Like I have like these vivid images of the things I've heard and have seen.

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:21

Um And then you're looking at your daughter as this precious little girl, and you're yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:27

And I think about like, you know, the age that started and you know, their sweet little voices, and you know, my youngest was wearing like Jojo Siwa bows, you know, and have her sequence unicorn shirts on, and and I'm just like like their innocence was was stolen.

SPEAKER_07: 1:00:42

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:45

And for me, I there was there's a lot of like I failed. I failed as a mom. Um and just uh I mean I can only imagine it happened to them. But mine was it's in my it's in my mind, so like how worse obviously it's for them having to have lived through it. And I've always been that like the mama bear. I I mess with my kids and try to protect them from everything that that you possibly can, and I didn't.

SPEAKER_07: 1:01:27

So that's weighing heavy.

SPEAKER_06: 1:01:31

I could see that for sure. That's not an you that's nothing that you can just flip a switch and move on from.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:40

No. And like the the prosecuting team, like they got me in with a therapist as well. And my one daughter was in therapy. Um my oldest at the time, she's like, no, I I don't want to do that right now. I mean, I think it was a lot for sure at that moment. We're already she's already having to relive this again. Um and I never I never let them go to court with us until sentencing, because he was always there. Saw the court hearings, um, just me and my husband would go. Um, because I didn't want him to see him. I didn't want the I didn't want him to see them either. Because he would look right at me.

SPEAKER_06: 1:02:20

What was it like getting a look from your ex that molested your now they found out molested your children? Like what's going through your veins at this point? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:31

And then it was like nice sandals, buddy. Nice chains.

SPEAKER_06: 1:02:38

That's a nice shade of bitch you're wearing.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:02:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:42

Um But no, I always made sure like when he would walk into the courtroom and everything, I'd look right at him.

SPEAKER_04: 1:02:49

Good.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:49

Nope. Nope. Like you're finally getting what you deserve.

SPEAKER_06: 1:02:55

Now during this time, I feel that our judicial system fails most people. Just my opinion. Especially in these types of scenarios, it seems like one little piece of evidence, a dude that's looking at life or molesting multiple children and now are getting parole or probation, or they get a couple years sentence and they'll be out in half the time for good behavior, whatever it may be. Is that like a major fear at this point? Or are you okay? Actually, let me ask. Are you feeling that the judicial system is working? Are you feeling that okay, this is the next step and everything's rolling how it should be? You're talking about you had a like a good detective. Is everything kind of working? Obviously, as a mom and a father and whoever else is involved in this, you're gonna want it now, you know, and roast this dude, put him away, we want it now. But obviously, things take time during this process of a year. Is it are you seeing our judicial system actually working how it's supposed to be working, or are there times where you're tripping out that he might be not getting as severe of a sentence or anything like that?

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:05

You know, uh, so as I'm starting to learn this process, um nothing the judges couldn't do anything. I mean, they said his bail to six million.

SPEAKER_06: 1:04:16

Oh, okay. That's a good start.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:18

Um, because obviously more charges just coming in and stuff. So yeah, he got up to six six million.

SPEAKER_07: 1:04:24

Damn.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:25

Mm-hmm. And um in a total at the end it was a total of 41 charges. And out of the 41, I think 36 was my daughter. And so I our prosecuting team did great. It wasn't much to the judges, it was just setting dates and everything, so until it came down to sentencing, um, or trial, and that was something we had to consider, is um taking it to trial.

SPEAKER_06: 1:04:54

Which if you took to trial, then now your daughters have to stand on as a witness.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:00

Um, yep, and they have to be questioned by his attorneys.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:03

Okay, so as a parent, you have two options. You're going to allow your daughters to have to get questioned by his attorneys and then also sit on the stand in front of everybody and relive these moments, or take a plead.

unknown: 1:05:20

Yep.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:21

So as a mom, how are you processing that?

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:23

So in the very beginning, when we found out what the plea deal was gonna be, it was gonna be 40 years and um 40 years fixed, and then he fixed meaning he's got he's gonna have to do a hard for okay.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:37

And um he would plead guilty to 17 of the 41 charges, and then with the rape charge was gonna get moved to a loot and lascibius, which loot and lascibius is a bad charge to get. He just didn't want rape on the paperwork, but loot and lascibius could mean the exact same thing. So that was the plea deal that was presented to us. And in the beginning, I was like, to me, I'm like 40 years, but he would have been like 80. But um, it pissed me off. I wanted I wanted at the time, like, no, you're gonna keep that rape charge on there. Like, that's what he did to my daughter. You're gonna keep the rape rape rape charge. Um and so I was ready beginning to say, no, I'm not taking this play-doh, like absolutely not. But thank God for my husband, because he talked all the sense into me throughout this year. Um, he's like, he'll be 80 if he's able to even get out. But think about the girls. And I and I and I had thought about it, but I was just angry. So I was like, it'd be better just to take the plea deal. My kids are not gonna take the stand because if they start getting questioned and I s I don't know what I would do if I'm watching, you know, his attorneys, you know, saying certain things to my daughters, and I'm just yeah. Somebody better step in right now. Um we decided to take the plea deal. Um And he had private, he had uh two private attorneys.

SPEAKER_06: 1:07:11

Who's funding this for him? If if he his mother. It's always the mom's.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:16

Mm-hmm. Cause to her, and the she didn't believe anything, and then she said it was just pictures. It's not like he touched them, and like when it was one of the pictures was of his ex-niece, it was like, your daughter's ruining my son's life.

SPEAKER_06: 1:07:29

So he had pictures of his nieces too?

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:31

Ex-niece. His wife's sister's daughter. His wife's ex-wife's sister's daughter.

SPEAKER_06: 1:07:37

And his mom's defending him, saying it's just pictures the whole time. If you say it's just anything, there's no it's just why do the I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:53

Why are moms always does she live local? She they're from Georgia.

SPEAKER_06: 1:07:57

Oh, okay. That's what you said. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:59

Yeah. So she would be like on the like the Zoom for like the hearings and stuff. Um, some of them, but she was on them for the sentencing. So um we finally get to sentencing, and the first sentencing was gonna be in Ada County. And during all this, you know, I very happy with our prosecuting team, okay. The detectives, um, I, you know, would ask, is this a good judge? And, you know, like she's a pretty tough judge. I'm like, okay, great. Um, because at the end of the day, it's up to the judge, even though 40 years is a plea deal, she can give whatever she wants.

SPEAKER_06: 1:08:44

Yeah. What's this judge's name?

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:46

Cynthia Yee Wallace is Ada County.

SPEAKER_06: 1:08:49

Okay. I like to ask because if people listen and there's a good judge, I feel we need to keep good judges in because there's some she's getting my boat. Okay. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:59

Um, so we get to sentencing, and um my youngest didn't want to do a victim witness statement, which was fine. I did one, and then my daughter did one. And we both could barely even get through them. What is this that you're doing? The victim witness statement. So we go in and um, so I'm speaking a lot on his character and how this has affected, you know, um, my family and um my daughters and all that. And then my daughter, when she did hers, it was about how she felt and why she never told anybody and things that he had d done to her.

SPEAKER_06: 1:09:39

Was it hard hearing this? I mean, I obviously know that question, but is this the did you help her write this or was this all on her own? She wrote it all on her own. So you you're hearing this for the first time?

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_06: 1:09:51

Like crushing or what?

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:53

Yeah. I I mean, I went first, so I was already like crying, but then when she got up there and she did hers right after me, and I'm listening to her and then watching her cry, and I'm, you know, sitting back here, you know, in the row, and she's up at the um the desk or whatever, and like there was not a dry eye in the entire courtroom. I thought the lady that sits next to next to the judge, I thought she was about to get up and walk because her face, like she could barely even she could barely even listen to it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:10:29

I couldn't sit through that shit. There's no way.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:31

Yeah. And um, so our prosecuting teams, like they did not hold back. When they got up there and said their statements and stuff, they did phenomenal. And then the judge, you know, listens to everybody's and then she speaks and she didn't hold back.

SPEAKER_06: 1:10:47

What was she saying?

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:49

Um, I don't because they always try to play like um your family, you know, um, like I can go back home and get help and have my family as support and blah, blah, blah. And um, she's like, Well, since your own family doesn't think that you did anything wrong, what kind of support are you gonna be having? That doesn't seem like a good idea. And they even like the psychiatrist or whoever does their psycho psychosocial evaluation right before sentencing, yeah. Even the doctor's like, he's not real rehabilitatable.

SPEAKER_06: 1:11:22

That's that's the the scary part, and then even because I just I didn't know what that test was, the psychosexual eval. I just learned that actually in a recent episode. But these guys, these judges are seeing that these pedophiles are scoring non-rehabilitatable, if that's a word, and they're still cutting these dudes loose. That they're like the the the chances of them reoccurring as a sex offender are maxed on these tests, and they're like, and they present it to these judges or the DAs and whatever, and they're like, Yeah, we'll cut a deal, we'll cut a deal with this guy, he he'll be fine, let's cut him back to society again. And I'm sitting here like, what in the f like what are we paying for? Like, what are our taxes going for? Who who what are we funding our judicial system and everything that's going on? If you have doctors that are telling you this dude is a habitual child predator, we shouldn't let him back back into society, and then the judge is like, yeah, we'll plead him out, he'll be out in five years. I know. We're gonna drop it down from 41 charges to 17 or 5. And we talked to a woman sitting in your seat. They had enough to put away a dude for life, and they knocked him down the five downloaded images, our DA here in Boise.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:42

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06: 1:12:43

Why?

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:44

I don't know. And this is the part where like I've met with some of the legislators too, and that's you know, when I was there when they passed a bill for the death penalty for egregious loot and lascivious. Yeah. Um, now we need to work on there, needs to be kind of a standard, you know. And thankfully, my we had really good judges. And the first in the Ada County, she gave him 65 years, fixed 65 years in Ada County.

SPEAKER_06: 1:13:14

And they were recommending 40 40 years? Yeah, it was 40. Okay. Oh wow, you never hear that. I mean, maybe you do, but I that a judge is just gonna attack on more. Okay, good for her.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:23

And then um So now he's gonna be 90.

SPEAKER_06: 1:13:26

I mean, that's pretty much a life sentence for him at this age.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:13:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:28

And so, I mean, we were happy with the I didn't think that was gonna happen. I mean, never been in this situation, never never been to court. And um I was I was scared maybe we weren't gonna get the 40. I I I didn't know.

SPEAKER_06: 1:13:42

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:43

And then so we finished with that one, and then the next um was Canyon County. And so about a month later, we went and did Canyon Counties, and um, they started off that uh that sentencing with a jail call that he had with his mom after the 80 county sentencing. And it was her saying, um, this is ridiculous, over just some images. He's like, Yeah, but they just want me to like die in prison. And then they started making fun of like me and my daughter for crying when we did our victim witness statements and just all that. So that was the first scene that played.

SPEAKER_06: 1:14:19

They had all that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:14:20

Yeah, you could just see I could you could see their faces and everything. I was like, oh, this is amazing. And I was I wasn't worrying about that one, but I was happy to see that that had happened.

SPEAKER_06: 1:14:28

So you're sitting there and you're watching your ex-mult child predator, ex-husband, and his mother laugh at your guys' statements that they gave because you were crying about him ruining yours and your child's life.

SPEAKER_00: 1:14:42

Like it was that we were just faking it and it wasn't it wasn't real.

SPEAKER_06: 1:14:46

See, like right then and there, like I as a judge, like firing squad.

SPEAKER_00: 1:14:50

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06: 1:14:51

Like you're not gonna change. Like you just got sentenced for 60 something years and you're laughing that and talking shit that the little girl's life that he just ruined, that she's just crying about it, making it up.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:01

That the tears weren't real. So that's that was the opening of that sentencing, and um some of the other children had spoken um as well for the victim witness statements, because we had to read those again. And then um the judge then finally speaks to him, and he had said, There is not a toughness sentence that I could give you for the harm that you have caused. And he said, and that's why I'm gonna make an example out of you, and you're getting life without parole.

SPEAKER_06: 1:15:40

No shit. What's going through your mind at this point?

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:43

I was in shock. I mean, that's what I had asked for in my victim witness statement. Was like, but they can't take your recommendations.

SPEAKER_06: 1:15:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:51

But I'm just like, oh we got this motherfucker. Like, you're never gonna be put, you're never gonna be able to hurt.

SPEAKER_06: 1:15:56

I mean, did you cheer or like I thought did you want to say something like, yeah, motherfucker, like this is what you get? Like, is it hard to sit there?

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:04

Yeah, it was. I mean, and keeping it together because you know you have to judge there and everything. And I'm just like, I think I just like looked like at my daughter, I looked at my husband, and I was just did I hear that correctly?

SPEAKER_06: 1:16:21

Good for you guys. And your daughter, was that both your daughters or just your oldest?

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:25

Just my youngest at this Canyon County, because my oldest was out of college.

SPEAKER_06: 1:16:29

Okay. And so Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:16:33

So he ends up getting life.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:34

Life without parole.

SPEAKER_06: 1:16:36

What was that judge's name?

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:39

Uh Judge Grove.

SPEAKER_06: 1:16:40

Judge Grove. Oh shit. Yep. Good for both of them.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:46

Yeah. And that's the thing, is you know I I've seen so many videos and things of people not coming forward because they're scared. They don't think anybody's gonna believe them.

SPEAKER_07: 1:16:59

Yep.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17:01

And my daughter felt the same way. Like, are is she gonna believe am I gonna believe her? Um, you know, it's her word against his. It doesn't matter. Like, tell somebody, you know, um and let have some faith that the detectives will do a good enough job and because what we didn't know what we what we were gonna find in the phones. We didn't know if there was any gonna be anything in the phones. And thankfully there was because that solidified everything happening. But the hard part though is the sentencing and it depends on the judge. Yeah, it depends on obviously evidence and everything, or um how well of a um investigation's done. But, you know, I I've seen quite a few have just recently come out, and you know, it's it'll say the news article, like this person's getting 30 years. Well, it's not 30 years, it's maybe 15 fix. That does not mean it's 30 years. He could get out at 15.

SPEAKER_06: 1:18:11

Um just nothing for ruining a child's life.

SPEAKER_00: 1:18:14

Well, yeah, and then what you give, you know, the kid has to grow up, wait 15 years to then go stand in a parole court and relive this con all the time.

SPEAKER_06: 1:18:24

This is where I have such a problem with our court systems. It's like I know every case is different. There's different motives, there's different evidence angles, there's a million different things that go into like a case. But I feel if we took this case and it was presented to me as a judge and it hit X, Y, and Z on children. We have X amount of evidence, photos, videos, AI generated. Like, there shouldn't even there should just be, okay, once you crush this threshold, here's your it. This is the sentencing, not like, well, we're gonna have give him a plea deal, we're gonna give him 15 figs or 15, he'll be out in seven. I don't understand. You hear about this all the time, and I think that's a big reason people don't speak up, is because look how often these guys are getting away with it. You know, I mean, and it's terrifying. So it's like, okay, we're gonna put everything out there, and then it's almost not it's almost, it's just huge, just spit in the face when you watch these court cases and these guys walk.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:19:25

And you're just like, that's this poor family, and the children and the women that are going through this, and they're just hung out the dry.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:32

Yeah, it's not justice. And you know, I think about the case in Eastern Idaho, where the guy, you know, had been touching a girl what since she was like seven or something, and he got probation and doesn't have to register as a sex offender. Like, what does that say for that child?

SPEAKER_06: 1:19:50

Like how She's nothing.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:19:53

She's just a she's just property of something. She doesn't nobody cares about her.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:19:57

Like how else do you take that as a kid?

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:59

Yeah. But even if you got, you know, you get touched by somebody and they only get ten years, it's like that's that's not giving them any any type of closure. And two, they're gonna get out.

SPEAKER_06: 1:20:15

In half. Unless it's fixed at a certain amount of time, they're gonna they're gonna get on them and do it again. This is the biggest this is one of my biggest complaints about our our system. And then it's like then they do get sentenced and they go to prison and they're getting segregated.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:20:33

Oh, these pedophiles get their own wing.

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:35

Why? Why? I asked that question actually, because I was like, is he gonna be in gen pop? And in Idaho, you're not. Texas, you you go to gen pop. But in Idaho, no. And part of the reason why they protect certain people is to keep like to make it a safer environment so the for the officers too.

SPEAKER_06: 1:20:57

So see, I think that's bullshit. I think they keep them segregated because if every every other week some pedos getting put in gen pop and getting bone checked and drugged through the fucking tears, and then that stuff's getting out, it makes the prison look bad, which helps defund the prison. They're not gonna be getting. But I I would have no problem with this. As as a taxpaying moron, that we're there's raping us on our taxes, and then now now this pedophile gets put away for life, and he gets to sit in a fucking prison with an iPad that I'm paying for.

SPEAKER_00: 1:21:27

Yeah. And the victims are paying for it. So my daughter's taxpaying dollars is now having to pay for him to sit, have you know, his all of his meals, have his iPad. You know, you can text on the iPads now.

SPEAKER_06: 1:21:40

Oh my god, this is this is the shit that blows my mind. And us as Americans, we just sit here like twiddling our thumbs. Your daughter was molested, and at some point she's gonna get a job and pay taxes here, which are gonna help to go fund the dude that molested her in prison to pay for his food and his fucking iPad. Like, how does that make sense? And we keep voting for this stuff. I know. Like, that's the stuff that drives me mad. That's what keeps me up at night.

SPEAKER_05: 1:22:07

Like, I'm paying taxes on this. Oh, I know. Fucking Israel and like everything else.

SPEAKER_06: 1:22:12

I know. Like it's just, and then people just don't think about it because it doesn't directly affect them, I guess. But it's like, if you truly think about it, your daughter's going to be paying state taxes that are gonna go to help fund this piece of shit that molested her to have an iPad and get his three hots in a cot. Put him his ass and gen pop and let him let him check his papers.

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:22:32

I just I would have no problem with it. If our prisons were like, yeah, if I get four deaths this week at Ada County prison, all chomos, I'd be like, Awesome. Voted for that, voted for it. Like, yeah, you want to touch children, you're going to get dealt with. Like, there that should be part of the fear of getting caught is that you know you're directly going to prison with everybody else. You're not getting segregated because you ruined some child's life. Like, if we're gonna protect anybody, like I yeah, we want to get in the prison. I have I have so many things. I am so anti our prisons. I think they're so broken in so many different ways. The money, the everything's money and power in there and funding.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:15

It is, and that's you know, funding that. Um, and then what was it?

SPEAKER_03: 1:23:26

I lost my training of thought on that one. It'll come back.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:29

Um what was it?

SPEAKER_07: 1:23:34

Prisons training or tenure.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:39

It left me. It left me.

SPEAKER_06: 1:23:41

It happens. It'll come back like when you're on your drive way home and you'll be like, oh fuck. Yeah, it's insane. Well, at least he got what was coming to him. So what's next for you now that you've done this? Uh what's I mean, you just don't go back to your life.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:56

No, I mean, what I would like to do is be like an advocate, like people that have gone through this. And I can definitely tell you what not to do when you're going through this, because I probably did a lot of things that I said or acted in certain ways.

SPEAKER_06: 1:24:15

I would like to touch on some of those uh the learning lessons we'll continue.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:20

Um and help people through the process, but also changing the laws. You know, there needs to be, it doesn't matter if it's one photo a guy has or if it's ten photos. It's a photo.

SPEAKER_06: 1:24:35

You don't just happen to have a photo on your phone. You you had an urge, you downloaded it, and it's on your phone for a reason.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:24:41

I'm with you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:42

And that's not that's not 10-year sentence than that, five-year sentence. That's you know, we have people in Idaho that smoke weed and get caught with weed and whatnot, probably getting a lot longer prison sentence than these people.

SPEAKER_05: 1:24:55

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:56

So then there needs to be some changes when it comes to sentencing.

SPEAKER_06: 1:25:03

I don't think it'll ever happen because our state reps, our congressmen, our politicians are all sucked into the pedophilia child shit. I'm since starting this podcast, especially. Like people always ask me, like, what have you learned? I'm like, uh, fucking buckle up. But I I I mean, the United States is the number one consumer and producer of child pornography and trafficking. Like we don't you don't just have that title unless everybody that is running it is part of it. And I hate to like lump people into this. It's happening. Yeah. All these conspiracies, they're not conspiracies anymore. And you're catching all these politicians, you're catching congressmen, you're catching high-ranking officials that are all getting caught. Child pornography, kid shit. Happens all the time. I mean, these TikTok kids that are catching predators now are catching high-value people all the time. And it's like, this dude was the pastor of a mega church, this dude was the judge of this, this dude was the mayor of this. I mean, you you this guy was a 30-year cop. Yeah, you see this shit constantly, like it's woven so deep into our society. I don't know like where the fuck it comes from, but it yeah, there needs to be some major changes because it is terrifying.

SPEAKER_00: 1:26:24

It is. I mean, and you know, if they knew that they're going to gym pop, maybe that put a little bit of fear, but also too of well, I did this, I'm only gonna get like 10 years. Okay, I could do 10 years in prison. No, you do this, you're gonna have life in prison. Yeah, that's where you're going. Yeah. And now, I mean, in Idaho, if it's egregious enough, you could get the death penalty.

SPEAKER_06: 1:26:45

Yeah, how long are that? Like it takes forever. You know, what is he gonna sit there for 30 years and then they finally decide to do it? Like, that's where it's like, okay, found guilty. Here's all the hard evidence laid out. Check, check, check, check. Cool, death penalty. Here you go. Like, why why why wait? And then why are our taxpaying dollars paying for this dude to wait on death row?

SPEAKER_00: 1:27:07

I know.

SPEAKER_06: 1:27:08

Kill these people.

SPEAKER_00: 1:27:09

I mean, you already know that they're getting the death penalty, so just take care of it now.

SPEAKER_06: 1:27:13

Well, some evidence is gonna pop up, and those videos just happen to get dropped on his phone and airdropped on the plane on the way home. Like, get the fuck out of here. You give thousands of images. Where do the thousands of images come from?

SPEAKER_03: 1:27:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_06: 1:27:25

If you're that deep into it, there's nowhere in society, not even in prison. The prisoners don't even gang beggars don't want to deal with chomos. That's why they're killing these dudes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:27:33

Oh, yeah. Yeah, they went.

SPEAKER_06: 1:27:35

Nobody wants these people around.

SPEAKER_01: 1:27:37

No.

SPEAKER_06: 1:27:41

What's one of the okay, so let's things that you learned during this court case or during this trial, I should say. What were some of the don'ts that you did? Because I know women, no offense, y'all get a little heated and mama bears come out and y'all start just sending you guys start mashing buttons and hitting send on shit.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:06

So I I did that.

SPEAKER_06: 1:28:08

I've seen the wife do it a few times. A lot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:11

A lot. Um, trying to do my own re like do my own investigation.

SPEAKER_07: 1:28:16

Oh, so you went straight mama mode.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:18

Yeah. I mean, went to social media. Um and you have to be very careful in an active investigation of what not to say and what you can actually say. Why? So you don't interfere with the investigation.

SPEAKER_06: 1:28:36

Because if you're giving shit up, they can use that against you, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. Did you do any of this?

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:41

Uh no. Um, I didn't do that part. It was more of like, hey, anybody else a victim of this man? And post his mugshot. And um uh I was I was careful. I've no even like my husband said, You need to stop, you're gonna interfere with this investigation. Just let them do their job. Let them do their job. But in my mind, it was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna find out anything I possibly can.

SPEAKER_03: 1:29:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:14

You can always call and talk to them, like the prosecutor, the detective, you know, ask questions. But for me, it was like, I want I want answers right now. Why is it taking you guys so long to do this? Why is it taking you so long to get into the phone and find pictures? Um I mean, they even the Canyon County prosecutors even brought me into their office one time and said that they were told that I was kind of just doing my own investigation on social media and pretty much stop it. And I was like, do you know what this is like as a mom? Like, I'm I'm losing my mind. I I want to know. I want to I want to find out as much as I possibly can. So I can't.

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:00

And you can't get any. I can see that driving you mad. I'd drive me mad. I would 100%. Yeah. But at the same time, you start you start putting shit out there, then his attorneys will see things and they can use that against you, or they can use that to steer a direction or a motive or whatever it may be.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:22

Which is that can fuck a whole qu a whole case. One one thing can crumble a whole house.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:30

And you were you were teetering on that, huh? I sure was. Which at this I I can't I can I don't think anybody can fault a mother or a father for that because that's that's just that drive. Like now you know that your cubs are hurt. Yeah, but what's been the biggest lesson that you've learned from this?

SPEAKER_03: 1:31:03

I don't even know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:31:04

I trust the process. I mean, I w I was told too, I think my husband told me this too, like it's good that there it's taking long because then there's more to find. And I couldn't I couldn't process that.

SPEAKER_04: 1:31:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:31:25

But he was like, Yeah, if it's taking a while, then there's more opportunity for them to find more and charge him with more stuff. And they did.

SPEAKER_07: 1:31:35

What a horrible situation.

SPEAKER_00: 1:31:38

And no matter how hard it is to remain calm, it is to remain calm as much as you possibly can. And I wasn't. And I think my daughter saw me for the first time in their entire lives at my lowest point that I've ever been in. When I should have been really more there for them. And I was, but I was just dying inside.

SPEAKER_06: 1:32:07

Well, you're getting eaten alive by your own thoughts, knowing what happened, not being able to be there. I I a hundred percent, I I mean, I've rightfully so. Rightfully, I mean, I couldn't even imagine putting myself in your shoes or watching my wife have to go through this because we've already had that conversation. Like, she gives me the look, I'm murdering anybody. Like and well, we'll see, we'll see how this one rides out.

SPEAKER_00: 1:32:35

But you maybe get five years.

SPEAKER_06: 1:32:37

Yeah. Act of passion or whatever. I'll play the PTSD card. We'll edit that out because they'll use that against me in future court cases if anybody ever touches you, and then I murder them, so then I won't be premeditated. So, but seriously, I'm fucking killing anybody. Like, there's no questions asked. Uh we've already had this conversation. Like, I am 100% in prison going to jail, smile on my face, knowing that I killed somebody.

SPEAKER_01: 1:33:07

Same.

SPEAKER_06: 1:33:07

Can I ask you a kind of a personal question? What did your baby daddy how did he react to all of this?

SPEAKER_00: 1:33:16

So I'm I'm good at picking. I love my husband, my current husband, but um, he's not really a part of their lives. He's um it was about in 2016, 15 or 16. He had asked to sign his rights away.

SPEAKER_06: 1:33:34

Oh well, I mean, in a lot of times that could be best case scenario.

SPEAKER_00: 1:33:38

Um, that was after he took me back to court, and we talked about sending the kids to North Carolina to visit, and then he just didn't want to pay child support. And I said, No, I'm not signing any papers, he still didn't speak to him. Then he came back into their lives. And so um when I had first told him about it, later on it was used against me of um I brought this person into the kids' lives and blame me. There's some blame on me. Um there's a couple, maybe a couple more times that he had asked a question or something, but other than that, um, he said that he'll find out his information from eye courts.

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:34:29

That was it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:31

How have you processed all of this, process all of this? I mean, you've obviously gone through some therapy, but as a as a mom, how are you able to like regroup and look? When I ask these questions, I don't mean any offense in any way. I just I always try to put myself like as a husband and listening to my wife tell a story or listen, you know, somebody that I care about. And when I mean this, I don't mean this in like it's your fault type of way, but this all happening under your own roof, how were you able to process like, okay, like I'm Mama Bear, I was here to protect them because this has to weigh a lot on you. How has that been trying to process that this whole scenario?

SPEAKER_00: 1:35:22

I've had to really come to terms with, you know, I wasn't there. Like I I what could have been, but not when it was happening, I didn't know. And now it's and like my husband always reminded me, you know, how was this affecting your kids? You know, with me just crashing and just, you know, a mess, you know, how is this affecting your kids? You need to think about them. And he was right. He was right on a lot of things.

SPEAKER_06: 1:35:58

We can edit that one out because you won't admit that we won't give him that much credit.

SPEAKER_00: 1:36:03

No. Um I've never taught my kids to ever be a victim. Like things shitty things happen to you. Yeah you know, I never made myself a victim during the abuse, and they're very strong, and they have not used this as that they're a victim. Good. You know, it's more like you're a survivor, and um they look at things differently as far as, you know, what they want and don't want. Um anything that makes them uncomfortable, they will say it. Um but I had to just dig deep and I had to do it for my family. It's not like I don't think about it because I do, like I'll have some nightmares and stuff, like I do think about it, but I'm not letting it consume me because I already gave Kenny a year of that.

SPEAKER_06: 1:37:02

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 1:37:03

And now I'm taking that back. I'm not I'm not going to let him consume any more of my life.

SPEAKER_06: 1:37:09

Good. For women listening, I I even hate saying this, that there's probably a lot of women that have gone that are in your scenario right now as far as the domestic violence side of things. And then what would be your advice to women that are living in a domestic violent relationship to them?

SPEAKER_00: 1:37:33

Have an ex exit strategy. At least even if you're not using it, just have a game plan in case you need to leave quickly and start putting money away in an account that he doesn't know about. Whether it has to be put into like a family member's account or something else. Put money away.

SPEAKER_07: 1:37:56

Man, you have been through some adventures with that, dude.

SPEAKER_06: 1:38:03

Mm-hmm. Is it weird looking back now, knowing that you're married to somebody that's got life that has a life sentence now?

SPEAKER_00: 1:38:10

Yeah. Um It's kind of embarrassing.

SPEAKER_07: 1:38:15

Like it's I wouldn't take it as embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00: 1:38:19

It's yeah, it's just crazy. Like, yeah, I'm my ex-husband's in prison for the rest of his life.

SPEAKER_07: 1:38:26

What a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_00: 1:38:28

Mm-hmm. He sure is.

SPEAKER_07: 1:38:32

Was no, he's rotten away, which is No yeah. God mighty. This guy he is a special one.

SPEAKER_00: 1:38:48

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:38:49

I I don't know what happened to him as a child, but so if there was something obviously everything said and done, if you can go back in time to when your kids were little, what is a lesson that you would teach them to help try to prevent any of this?

SPEAKER_00: 1:39:14

If anything makes you feel uncomfortable or and or um you get a scary feeling. Because sometimes they don't know that maybe it's right or wrong, but maybe they're scared about it. Tell someone. Whether it's a teacher, a counselor, your parents. Tell anybody.

SPEAKER_06: 1:39:42

Even if they tell you not to. That's a huge lesson that we have raised our kids with is if anybody ever tells you to not tell your mom and dad, tell your mom and dad immediately. Trying to hide something bad. And we've we've like that from a very, very early age. And I think another really important lesson, which a lot of parents don't I don't think they see the the end the end point of raising children that don't lie and making that a very, very trusting part of a family dynamic. Because with us, if if if any of my children came to me right now and told me something like this, there's no doubt in my mind that it happened because our kids have never lied. And that's been the importance of that. Like, hey, if you become a liar and you lie about things, people will question you. And we've made it very like we have instilled it in them from day one. I will believe anything you ever tell me, as long as you don't ever lie. Because then when the and you know, and you can go into your little stories, but like with us, that's been a couple of that was my wife from very from day one. If anybody ever tells you to not tell me you're your dad, that's a huge problem. And if you we can't trust who you are, people won't trust your word. And so that's when our that's how we've raised our kids that you never lie to us, we'll never have any reason to ever question anything. And so that's where it's and that day comes. So like fucking god, it never does, but you gotta be able to trust your kids.

SPEAKER_00: 1:41:29

You do. I wish I could sit there and say mine haven't ever lied, but yeah, and this was definitely you know, there's there's those things like I just that's not something she would have made up. Oh and she had very specifics, and so I was just like okay, like here we are.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:51

Well, good for you for sticking up for your kids and fighting and getting out of that situation and burying this piece of shit. I hope you become an advocate for this. I think it's it's women like you that stand up for it and want your voices heard, and that's why I love giving you a platform, and any other woman or man or anybody else has gone through things that horrible people have been screwed on these situations, and it's I I hate to say it like that you got lucky, you know, but there's a lot of people out there that are looking at molesters and pedophiles and this other stuff that have gotten don't get any cases, and so yeah, if you in fact you want to come on and tell a story, obviously that takes a lot, yeah. To be able to just put your story out there because like you said earlier, it's an I don't want to say embarrassing that you should be ashamed of it, but it happens, and I feel a lot of people just don't want people knowing that they're a victim, you know. But that's where I feel if more women spoke up about these types of things, and it was not common. We definitely don't want this a common topic, but other women knew other women that did this without having to get into a group or anything like that, and that women were just vocal about this, it would allow that strength within other women to be able to come out and talk or tell their story or report it and things like that. I think a lot of it's just fear and embarrassment, and yeah, they just keep quiet over it, which is then just gives this piece of shit power, and then they think that they can get just get away with it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:43:21

And then they can do it to somebody else.

SPEAKER_06: 1:43:24

Yeah, if then you leave, then who's next? What child's next? Or woman that he's beating on. Well, I appreciate you. Thank you coming on and telling the story.

SPEAKER_01: 1:43:37

Thank you.

SPEAKER_06: 1:43:38

I'm glad it all worked out for you and your daughters. Unfortunately, I mean, there's some road ahead of them, I'm sure, with some, you know, conversations that they're gonna have as they traverse life and move on to different relationships and things like that. But I'm sure you'll be there for them because yeah. Well, thank you very much for coming on. Thank you. This was a this was wild. Yeah. How all this unfolds, and just I'm glad I'm glad this dude's put away for life. You don't I feel you hear more stories of the got getting off of it than the judge being harder and and giving him that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44:17

Yeah. That's what needs to change.

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:20

Yeah, I hope you do. I think you should start fighting, especially with this passion, and you have that. I mean, what a what an incredible story to be able to go in and the fact that a cop has and you're 100% on that law.

SPEAKER_00: 1:44:33

Unless they re-changed it, but yeah, that's what they because they were the cops are pissed off about it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:40

Like, see, like why don't our legislative, like, how does it that's where a lot of people give shot give shit to cops because like for not doing their job or whatever it may be, but the the the cops aren't setting the laws. They just enforce them. Like, go we're we're we're voting these people in that are making the laws.

SPEAKER_00: 1:44:56

Go talk to your legislators.

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:58

Yeah. There needs to be a major change in this country. We need an overhaul, big time.

SPEAKER_00: 1:45:03

Oh, yeah.

unknown: 1:45:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:45:04

Well, thank you very much for coming on and giving us this time to be able to share your story and your experience. I hope women can hear this and get the f hell out of their situation and make a phone call and I hope so. Just I hate to say that, dude, more than 99% of dudes aren't gonna change.

SPEAKER_00: 1:45:27

They're not.

SPEAKER_01: 1:45:28

They're not going to.

SPEAKER_06: 1:45:29

Especially if they're still drinking, they're still in the same routine. If they're if they're not making a difference to change, they're not gonna change. And you'll know it immediately if they're going to, if you're worth it or not. And I think that's where a lot of women get stuck, is because they hang on to that hope that he is, and before you know it, you're two years in and you're still getting the shit beat out of you every weekend because he goes and gets drunk with the boys and comes home, or whatever the story is, and you just start accepting it at that point. But your kids are always watching, and you're gonna show your kids that that's normal, and then it's just a snowball effect. It is good for you for making the jump and pursuing this dude and burying his ass.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:06

Thank you.

SPEAKER_06: 1:46:07

Thank you for this conversation. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you came over, and now that your little quail are hatched, and you gotta get back to that. You texted me that shit, and I told the wife, I'm like, oh my god, like she came home with a box of quail one time, like eggs, and I was like, pfft new, like you didn't let her hatch them. First off, okay, hold on, hold on, don't even come at me with this. You know what I've done for this woman? I caught a pig, jumped out of a helicopter, chased a pig down, grabbed a baby pig, and smuggled that little motherfucker all the way from Texas to California so she could have a pet pig, and then it got giant, started rolling my yard up, then we moved here, and then it was so bad we had to put it on a farm, got out on the farm, attacked all these dudes' dogs, was running up like the whole entire cornfields. Yeah, this pig was like Godzilla at the end of it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:46:59

The shit I I had a pig too. It went through the doggy door.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:03

Yeah, she had a train, it would sit, stay, it ate marshmallows and gummy worms, and we thought he was gonna be small because that's how big he was. No. 300 pounds later, ours was and they're fast. As fuck.

unknown: 1:47:17

Fast.

SPEAKER_00: 1:47:17

Gonna catch him?

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:18

No, not happening.

SPEAKER_00: 1:47:19

No, we're gonna move trying to move houses, trying to catch them to put them into like a trailer or something.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:23

Yeah, try moving a pig across country.

SPEAKER_00: 1:47:25

Hell no.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:26

Yeah, yeah. It's wild.

SPEAKER_00: 1:47:28

Mine's on a farm living happily.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:30

Oh, we turned ours into dog food, but got mean. We never cut his nuts, and he got really mean and started to attack. He was raised with pitbulls, so he thought he was a dog. He would bark. It was really weird. It was, yeah, it was he would run and bark. It was it was actually kind of fascinating. And he got so big, the farm he was on, they have a bunch of bear hounds. Like they just run, they run turn these dogs on bears. Well, it got out, so they turned all these dogs. They're like, they'll just bathe this pig up. Well, the pig had no fear of dogs, and we never cut his cutter, so we had these giant blades sticking out. So these dogs surround him, and this pig just cut through these dogs like butter. And this farmer's like, Yeah, bro, like these dogs fight bears all summer, and your pig just fucked up half my pack. Like, he's gotta go. So, yeah, you gotta turn into dog food. I don't know where else to put him. He's just a giant pig, he has nuts and everything. We didn't know what to do. He was breeding all these other sows, and they got little baby pigs running around, and then all the baby pigs are running all getting into the river bottom. And I thought we were gonna change the whole ecosystem here in Idaho. It was a shit show. So we're like, yeah. My God. All because my wife wanted a pig. So yeah, quail eggs, absolutely not. Get them out of here.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48:35

They're so cute.

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:36

I they are. We'll we'll do it again sometime, I'm sure. But at the moment, no, I was not entertaining it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48:42

It's like a nature preserve and let them live free.

unknown: 1:48:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:46

Yeah. No, not when you got an 11-year-old that names everything and everything's a pet immediately.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48:51

Oh, I know. I'm sitting here like, I'm gonna let it loose. And I'm like, they think I'm its mom right now. How am I supposed to do this?

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:56

Did they did they imprint to you? Were you there when they hatched?

SPEAKER_00: 1:48:58

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:59

Oh, that's cool at least.

SPEAKER_00: 1:49:00

I gotta watch um the first one I didn't watch hatch. I was I just left for like an hour to go to Costco. I come back. I'm like, there's a bird in my incubator. I didn't think they're gonna hatch like yet. But no, then five hatched yesterday.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:12

That's cool. They're cute little things. So cute. Yeah, little, little chicken nuggets, little fuzzy chicken nuggets. We have them in our neighborhood. There'd be like just a thousand of them running across the road and we gotta stop for them. Yeah, they're all here in this hole there. And there's maybe that's why I'll let them go. Yeah, bring them on over. Well, cool. To your wife. No, no more pets. We are we are done on pets. I lost, I I mean, I kind of gave in to the dog when we we were we were pet free for so long, and we were traveling, we're on the road, we didn't have anything to worry about, and then the little one's like, I want a dog, and we finally gave in. And I'm like, We got a fucking dog.

SPEAKER_00: 1:49:43

So coming from the man has like eight bear and skulls in your office, and she can't even have a baby quail eggs.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:53

She gets listen, listen. Also, she went through this phase where she wanted to breed snakes, these boas. And so I'm building her cages and racks, and then I'm feeding these damn snakes, and or she's breeding them, then she got pregnant with our little one, and then during the pregnancy, she couldn't stand the smell of them, and so it like made her nauseous. And so I'm in there like opening these cages up with snakes, they're like trying to bite my face off. And I was like, This is we're done. We're so we got rid of this thing. You have no idea who my wife is, she is out of control, she wants everything. What a we've had lizards, then these little shitheads, we had bearded dragons, and they'd be like, Oh, we have a male and a female, let's breed them. I'm like, Yeah, they're not gonna breed them. They bred these lizards, then we have eggs, and we can't get rid of these things. I got a little box of baby bearded dragons that nobody wants. It was a shit show. I was like, we're done with pets.

SPEAKER_00: 1:50:44

I wanted a chameleon and we just got rid of the chameleon. Um like they you have to feed them crickets every single day. Like the humidifier, I mean, just too much work.

SPEAKER_07: 1:50:53

That's a lot of work. It's coming.

SPEAKER_00: 1:50:54

I wanted the chameleon. And then DJ's like, okay, this has gotta go. I mean, growing up, I brought home rabbits, ducks, turtle, skinny pigs.

SPEAKER_06: 1:51:03

Oh, yep. All of it, had it all. Snakes, pigs. We had a 17-foot python that lived on our staircase for a while. It was in our old house. What else have we had?

unknown: 1:51:18

Tortoises.

SPEAKER_06: 1:51:18

Oh, we had 150-pound tortoises. This is another thing I've done for my wife. This is so when I say quail, new, dude, these tortoises. How big were these tortoises? They were big. Yep.

unknown: 1:51:30

I could ride on one.

SPEAKER_06: 1:51:31

Sulkeda tortoises. Uh yeah, I had a I had a skateboard that had a little lift kit on it. So you'd have to, they'd get out, they would push against the fence and break the fence, and they'd just be out in the neighborhood. It's not like you could just pick up this tortoise and carry it home. So we had this skateboard that had like lift kit on it with these big tires, and you'd pick them on their side, put the skateboard underneath them, they'd hang on it, and then you'd have to push them back to the house, or she would get on top of them with a carrot and like a string, and they would like and she'd follow them back to the house.

SPEAKER_00: 1:51:59

I mean, I my husband, it was a surprise when the baby quail legs showed up.

SPEAKER_06: 1:52:03

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:52:03

I just quit asking.

SPEAKER_06: 1:52:04

She did too. Yeah, I just come home and I'm like, why is there a cage? What what do we have now? Oh, don't be mad.

SPEAKER_00: 1:52:09

I'm like, I just say, don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:52:12

Yeah, that's where that's the stage we're at. Yeah, that's the stage that we are 100% at. So, yep. Oh, no quail. We're done. Well, thank you very much. Yeah, we got a lot of bears around here, so we'll I'll do bear hides over that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:52:25

Is this your biggest bear?

SPEAKER_06: 1:52:27

That is my biggest bear. Um, the wife's is I think the wife is right here on this one. This is her biggest one. But yeah, we kill a lot of bears.

SPEAKER_03: 1:52:33

Your wife kill this one?

SPEAKER_06: 1:52:34

Yeah, wife, kids. There's a little bit of everybody's up here, so it's just all going away here very soon.

SPEAKER_00: 1:52:40

Why did you cover hers up and put yours up?

SPEAKER_06: 1:52:42

Mine's better looking and bigger.