#90 - From Cuffs To Calling: A Cop's Viral Fall Into Grace & Redemption w/Drew Romo

A single night in Scottsdale detonated a young cop’s career and exposed the cracks he’d been papering over with bravado and alcohol. The handcuffs were real, the firing swift, and the shame deep. What followed wasn’t a PR spin—it was a surrender. Drew walked away from the badge, got sober, took a massive pay cut to clean bathrooms and stack chairs at a church, and learned humility one unglamorous task at a time. He didn’t find shortcuts; he found a spine built on obedience.

To watch this episode, click here to watch: https://youtu.be/CCB9GT7jFdI

Years later, a curveball: the bodycam from that arrest resurfaced and went viral, reawakening trolls and reopening wounds. Instead of lashing out, he chose grace, context, and community. Then came a call he didn’t want: go back. Back to policing. Back to the place where his story broke. He requalified, sat through backgrounds, and watched his video circulate inside the very department considering him. Admin backed him. An FTO judged him by who he is, not who he was. Training flew by. Today, he serves as a school resource officer, meeting kids where they are—locker-lined hallways, cafeterias, and the fragile space between crisis and hope.

We get into the hard parts: college party culture and its long tail, father wounds and why accountability matters, why “submit” might be the bravest word a man can live, and how faith reframes everything from homelessness and addiction to anger and authority. Drew argues that justice and compassion aren’t enemies; they’re twin rails that keep a community on track. He’s candid about trolls, the cost of visibility, and the quiet strength it takes to be steady when everyone else is spiraling.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a public failure can become a calling, or how a cop can carry both a badge and a broken heart for his city, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a second-chance story, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway—what part of this journey challenged you to change?

Chapters

• 0:00 Gifts, Introductions, And Set-Up
• 3:28 Childhood, Sports, And Family Roots
• 7:35 College Rebellion And Alcohol Culture
• 14:20 Fatherhood, Biblical Manhood, And Accountability
• 23:12 Faith, Masculinity, And Finding Community
• 31:08 Submission, Obedience, And Calling
• 34:05 Why Policing And A Dark Academy Season
• 39:44 First Year On The Job And Strain
• 44:50 The Scottsdale Arrest: Night Unravels
• 52:20 Fallout, Firing, And Hitting Bottom
• 57:28 “Submit”: Turning To Christ And Sobriety
• 1:02:20 Working At Church And Learning Humility
• 1:06:40 Viral Bodycam Three Years Later
• 1:13:15 Trolls, Shame, And Choosing Grace
• 1:18:35 Called Back To Law Enforcement
• 1:26:40 Beach Confirmations And Saying Yes
• 1:33:12 Requalification, Backgrounds, And Open Doors
• 1:38:36 Video Circulates Internally; Admin Stands Firm
• 1:44:02 FTO, Favor, And Fast-Tracking
• 1:49:24 School Resource Officer And Youth Impact
• 1:54:00 Viewing Crime, Addiction, And Homelessness Through Faith
• 2:01:12 What Civilians Miss About The Job
• 2:05:20 Redemption Message And Closing Prayer

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:14

I'm constantly yelling in their face, telling them I'm gonna come up. I would agree with you, but unfortunately, I can see you know I'm on the curve in the handcuff, dude. Oh my gosh, I just did that. Is that a dream? Is it a nightmare? Nope. Can I get at the county jail as an off-duty cop?

SPEAKER_02: 0:57

Drew, before we get started, I'll dive in into this. The girls, I know you're you're a bread fanatic. I love bread. So we're gonna send you home with a fresh baked sourdough loaf from the sour bee. The girls whipped that up and then you saw the process going on downstairs with a giant container full. And um, Chris, we actually met him at church this morning. He should like he swung by really quick and said, What's up? But he owns Linear, which is an awesome apparel brand. I want to send you home with that. It's a tank top and then a wild chaos tee. But Linear is a veteran owner and operated company, badass guys. They're making really high quality gear, and they just give us this to hand out to guests and good dudes along the way. So thank you, dude. Thank you, Chris. I try to try to send everybody home with a uh with a little bit of a gift. So you get some bread and some apparel with the going home from. So all right, let's dive into it. I'm excited for this conversation for many reasons. One, you were a law enforcement officer. I was. Was you ended up getting arrested off duty, which led to you losing your job and losing a lot, going through a pretty dark time. During that time off and period in your life, you ended up finding Christ and giving yourself to the Lord and turned your whole life around. Somehow, through the graces of him, you ended up about three years later, ended up getting hired back on through a new department. Five years. Five years. Five years later, ended up getting hired back on as a law enforcement officer, which you are now. I don't usually have conversations with active duty guys for many reasons because they obviously have open cases and there's just a lot that goes on with departments, but I feel this is going to be a different style of an interview or a conversation than I have with most retired law enforcement officers. You had your department actually stand up and fight for you. Your admin actually had your back, which is great. I want to touch on that because a lot that we share here, it's usually the negative side of the departments and how they got burned and everything else that goes along with it. You've had a much different experience during your journey through losing a lot. Your viral your video went viral and probably showed you a lot about yourself that you probably didn't want to see and have to be reminded about constantly during some low points of your life. 100%. And so here we are. Here we are, dude. You ready, bro? Yeah, let's do it. Hey, Drew, who are you? Where are you from?

SPEAKER_00: 3:31

I'm Drew Romo. Um, first of all, I'm a follower of Christ Jesus, like you said. I'm a husband to my beautiful wife, and I have two kids. Awesome. Four-year-old boy and a uh 16-month-old daughter, and uh born and raised in Merced, California, which is like Central Valley. Okay. So nothing but like, you know, we have a city, it's a pretty big city, but lots of homeless, um, real agriculture, kind of Central Valley farmers, um, grew up in that. And then I transferred to high school in Sacramento or the region of Sacramento, uh, my junior high school. So the way I kind of like to paint my picture just for context is football, baseball, basketball was like your classic quote unquote alpha male, or what I thought was to be played quarterback, pitcher, um, like did everything right in high school, so to speak, got a 4.0 divorced parents, so that played a role in a lot of things in my life. Okay. I actually grew up Catholic. Um, so preschool to eighth grade, I went to a Catholic school. Grandma was my safe haven due to the divorce at such an early age. So she was like my queen. Like she practically raised us. Really? Oh, okay. Yeah, like my grandma, everyone that knows me, my grandma is like my queen.

SPEAKER_03: 4:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 4:44

So I love her so much. She's an angel, a saint. She will still works at the same Catholic school that she's been at for to see all you know, three of my sisters go through that school, and my oldest sister's mid-30s. So, like, my grandma's been there for over 30 years, like grinding. Good for her. So, yeah, that's that's kind of my childhood, and then uh went to Monterey Peninsula College to play college baseball. Um prior to that I got a shoulder surgery, so went to Stanislaw State out of high school on a scholarship to play baseball, tore my labrum, uh recovered, got the surgery recovered, and then played two more years, which I was grateful for. Um, and then in college was when I really started like leading a rebellion. That's when I started to actually dive into darkness and drink. So that's kind of like where that came about.

SPEAKER_03: 5:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 5:35

So we could either touch college or if you anything else on childhood, but like that's kind of the brief rundown of who I was leading up to college, and then everything kind of changed during college.

SPEAKER_02: 5:47

You mentioned your grandma pretty much raised you, obviously, coming from a broken home. What was what was that about? Was your was one parent involved more than the other?

SPEAKER_00: 5:57

Nope. Both were super involved, okay, very present. Um, but it was a lot of switching back and forth. So when I say my grandma helped raise me, it's like her house was our safe haven. Uh so due to just you know, divorces are messy, man. Like, especially with kids.

SPEAKER_02: 6:11

How old were you?

SPEAKER_00: 6:14

Dude, it's it's as long as I could remember. It wasn't when I was a baby, at least I don't think so. But it was like for as long as I can remember, it was two homes. Did your parents ever remarry? Nope. Uh so my mom remarried. I thought you meant like together. Yeah, yeah. No, so my mom remarried, I have a stepdad, and then my dad also got remarried to uh my stepmom. How was that? It was fine. So my mom got married to my stepdad later in life. I was an adult, so I was like in college at this point, so it was fine. Yeah, my blessing, good dude. Um, and then my dad, he was with my stepmom when I was a kid, and she played a huge role in my life. Like helped raise me, yeah, helped raise me too. Like all through middle school, like we were best friends, had good relationships, would joke, would go on car rides, like talk about trips, ice cream, all the things. So, like, she was huge um in my life as far as like my upbringing. And then I actually have a little sister from them too. So my dad and her had a baby later in life, which uh beautiful. Uh Sienna, she's 18 now, she's in high school.

SPEAKER_02: 7:24

Nice. Yeah. Okay, so then college, we talk about the dark side of things.

SPEAKER_00: 7:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 7:29

There's a a chapter, and I feel a lot of young men's life, and it doesn't have to necessarily be the college route, it could be the military route. It's more of the spreading your wings and discovering who you are phase. Exactly. I went through it. I have a whole generation of friends, and we've all gone went through it together. Is that what you're talking about? That that is that the sp the beginning of the spiral is getting into college and getting into the party life? 100%. So you get sucked into that.

SPEAKER_00: 7:57

Dude, I think it was just the lifestyle of a college baseball player. Like growing up kind of sheltered in Catholic school, um, you know, I didn't get to see a lot, I didn't get to experience a lot. And while I didn't turn crazy in high school, like a lot of people I do, like a lot of friends that I had, right when you get your freedom in high school, you're just going crazy. You're going bonkers and like doing everything. Some of the worst kids I know went to Catholic school, unfortunately. Every one of them. Because they're sheltered. Yeah. That wasn't the case for me. So like I was a good high school student, didn't do anything wrong, didn't party, didn't drink, didn't do drugs, nothing. Get to college, and like something came over me to where I just wanted to rebel. Like I just had a rebellious spirit to where I am leading all my teammates into rebellion. We're drinking after every game. We're going out to the bars. Like, no matter what. Win, lose, we booze. And we're going as hard as we can, and then we're waking up and we're either having a game the next day or we're having practice or whatever. Like, I went to school, dude. I took like and like I used to flex about this, and it's kind of funny looking back, but like we would drink every night, and I still got I was an academic all-American in college. Barely went to class. It's a talent, like it's a gift. Like I didn't study, barely went to class, but like I got all my work done. I was still on top of things, and that's when that's where I think the deception set in is like I can do this. It's not hard, which is normal for me. I can go get drunk and still do all these things and like be successful, quote unquote. But in reality, it was actually you know, it was setting me up for a failure later, you know, that I had in in life, and we'll touch on that, but it really there was so much darkness in what I was doing, and I I wasn't perceiving it as darkness, I was perceiving it as fun, like everyone does. We're never gonna see each other again. Like I had buddies from Germany, I had buddies from Florida, like all over the country, yeah, were playing with me and like, I'm never gonna see you again, dude. Let's let's go hard and let's do this. And I was leading them to hell.

SPEAKER_02: 9:56

Oh, okay. You're doing the dark side, feel like you're leading guys down the wrong path. But it's so hard, you're not processing that at this age.

SPEAKER_00: 10:04

Not at all.

SPEAKER_02: 10:05

Because it's the same for me in the military, man. Like, I wasn't even a partier, I didn't party at all in high school. I was I was so set on playing college ball, left my prom early, like I was dedicated. Then as soon as I hit the military, it was like balls to the wall. Everything was evolved around drinking and partying and going as hard as you can, and that just becomes life. Like it's part of the culture, it's part of that chapter of being a young 21-year-old idiot. Yeah, and then you have freedom for the first time and a paycheck, and you're just like, oh yeah, we can do whatever we want. But that is building the foundation for disaster down the road, which I feel a lot of guys have a hard time pulling themselves out of because it gets one, it becomes routine, it becomes the norm. Oh, yeah. And then when you maybe start trying to pull away, you start losing friends. And then your circle starts shrinking. Then you want to go back into it, so you get pulled back into it because now it's like, oh, dude, my boys aren't around as much anymore. I I don't get to see them as much, so I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go to this party with them. So it's almost like this magnet that pulls you back into the party scene, yeah, and it's just it's a it's a recipe for disaster for long-term wise.

SPEAKER_00: 11:14

Yeah, like this. I'm always reminded of this first. Scripture says bad company corrupts good character. I like that. And I was the bad company, right? So you have to live with that, you have to be held accountable for that, and you have to understand like what are you doing to help people or what are you doing to hinder people? And I was actually hindering people's growth, but I was being praised for it. Yep. So the deception is you're drinking, you're partying, like you're the guy for all these people. You're naming the bar, you're you're getting the Uber. Like, I was always that guy. I was the life of the party, right? I'm getting us into bars, I'm getting us into clubs, like we're going hard, and I'm being praised for it. So, not for one second am I thinking of the damage that it's doing to my own life and the damage that it's doing to my friends, with me the leader of everything, encouraging it and causing it.

SPEAKER_03: 12:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 12:02

Right. So that's like something that we don't, as men, especially young men, right? We don't take a look or we don't take a step back and actually see like the decisions that we're making today are gonna affect our own and somebody else's tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02: 12:15

What consequences am I lining myself up with with this with these habits? Yes, is what it comes down to. Which it it's it's tough for 20 young twenty a young man to sit there and be like, all right, well, this where's where's this gonna lead me down my future? But then obviously with maturity becomes you start thinking things differently, like, oh yeah, like these guys, I'm actually the ringleader of this group of guys that are now a bunch of borderline alcoholics.

SPEAKER_00: 12:41

Exactly. Yeah. And that's you know, I I just my mind goes to I'm thankful for the the road that it took to get me here and the mistakes that I made because it it makes me that much more passionate about community and being a man of God to actually help people walk through stuff like that. 100%. I didn't have a man of God or a count, you know, wise counsel or a man that was gonna help hold me accountable because I never searched for one. So, yeah, of course I'm gonna make these bad decisions on my own, right? That's why I'm so passionate about fatherhood. I want to set the foundation very early. The standard is Christ. This is how we follow him by me modeling it. And if I'm not modeling that in my own house, in my own life, then like no wonder my kids are gonna go off the deep end and do a bunch of crazy stuff.

SPEAKER_02: 13:26

I think we talked about the stats downstairs that if you're as a follower of Christ, as the husband, you have like a ninety seven percent chance of your children following in your footsteps versus if just the woman of the home is the leader of Christ, it's 13%. It shows you such a massive difference of how important the role of a father is in the home, of just that alone. Yeah. Not in talking masculinity, true when I say masculine, true masculinity, showing your vulnerability, showing your strength, being able to be humbled as a father. That's those are the roles that are uh as a true quote unquote man, which uh we all go through phases of what we think a man is, and so you know it's it you get to that point though where you're like, okay, you see that, and as a father, I mean, dude, it it changes you. It might not be right away, but you start looking and seeking, you start getting these little signs, and little seeds start getting planted, and things start changing for the positive.

SPEAKER_00: 14:35

Exactly. And that's why I'm thankful I came to Christ before I had kids. Okay, because right away I'm ten toes down on Christ. I'm standing on the father's business, and people know, my kids know, my wife knows, everybody knows that my kids are going to be followers of Christ, God willing, but I'm gonna do everything in my power. Like the scripture says, dude, raise them up the way they should go, and when they grow old, they won't depart from it. And I believe the Bible is true. I believe that's the promise of God. If we're gonna raise our kids up in Him, He's gonna keep His promise. We have to do our part though. So I'm I'm so passionate about fatherhood. I'm so passionate about biblical manhood, and like I've spent the past five years being able to help grow and develop men in biblical manhood, fatherhood, marriage. Like, dude, I suck at marriage sometimes. And we all I suck at fatherhood sometimes. I lose my patience. Like I'm reading this book right now. It's called uh The Man the Moment Demands by Jason Wilson. He's a famous like uh jujitsu instructor. Okay, he went viral for like teaching young kids how to control their emotions. He had a documentary on either ESPN or like 30 for 30 or something, but yeah, big beard, yes phenomenal man of God.

SPEAKER_02: 15:44

The way he talks to these young men and like it's so cool, brings them back down, grounds them, and then makes them walk and talk through their emotions, which is huge.

SPEAKER_00: 15:55

He's big on this the the term he kind of coined it, uh comprehensive manhood. Okay, or being the a comprehensive man, and he touches on all aspects of that being nurturing. We don't want to talk about that as men. What do you mean I have to be nurturing? I have to be transparent, I have to be gentle sometimes, I have to be a lion sometimes. It's it's all the aspects that we don't really seek to find because we're taught from an early age, dude, especially military first responder like the alpha male, tap your bootstraps, don't talk about your pain.

SPEAKER_02: 16:24

Don't cry, suffer in silence, yeah, which is the worst.

SPEAKER_00: 16:27

It's why the suicide rates of first responders and military are so high because we think that we don't have an outlet. 100%. And so that's my mission now of coming to Christ and going through my stuff, which we'll get into eventually. Like, I want to give men an outlet. Now, my main mission, dude, is your past does not define your present. No matter what you've been through, you've been through, no matter what mistake you've made, guess what, dude? God can redeem it and He can bring you back ten times better in Him if you allow Him to. And it's like I'm yeah, manhood, fatherhood, being a husband, those are more important to me than any career or any comeback will ever be to me. Like I think of my son, he's three-year-old, he's three years old. Um my proudest accomplishment is that he worships Jesus. And I'm talking, dude, like he has a guitar. It's my guitar. I gave it to him, I got a strap for him. He strums it, he watches Brandon Lake on the TV, and he knows every word of almost every Brandon Lake song, and he worships every day for a collective probably two hours total. And I'm talking like it sometimes it brings me to tears of just like that's that's the proudest thing I've ever accomplished in my life. And when I say I accomplish that, that's obviously the Spirit of God and his work in me and our family. But like, if I didn't say yes to Christ, that doesn't happen. So like men saying yes to Christ and going all in with Jesus Christ changes generations to come, and we don't think about it that way.

SPEAKER_02: 18:01

Never, we're not nobody explains it. Nobody explains it, or it's hidden, or it's not masculine, it's not it's not the tough dude route.

SPEAKER_00: 18:09

You're soft. You follow Jesus, you're soft. You must be one of those softies, right?

SPEAKER_02: 18:13

And it's like But at the same time, like it's such a hard, there's such an image with let's say the the basic Christian man, you know, and like coming from my me, it's like I'm going from military from deployments to training and instructors and fighting and everything else. And then I step into this church and I'm watching these dudes in skinny jeans and they got their hair all gelled back and they got their little three button-up sweater on them. Look at these guys like, bro, these dudes are dorks. Like, I can I'm not hanging out with these guys. Just give it a chance. I'm like, absolutely not. No, I don't know. No. Like, where are the big tatted bearded dudes with the two-way shirt on, and like that's that was me for such a long time, and I still didn't want to deal with those dudes.

SPEAKER_00: 18:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 18:54

And then it's like, man, that dude's happy as hell.

SPEAKER_00: 18:57

Mm-hmm. That dude's he's got something I don't that dude's full of joy.

SPEAKER_02: 19:01

Like, look how he looks at his wife. Look how his kids love him. Like, why what as if you take that step back as a man, claim to be, you can't look at others and see what they have and want their fruit.

SPEAKER_00: 19:13

It's so good. Because we think we have it all figured out.

SPEAKER_02: 19:16

Yeah, you don't have anything figured out when it's you know, that that's and I love what my wife says it, and it's it hits so hard. She's like, the most masculine thing a man will ever do is follow God. So good. Get on your knees and pray. It's the most masculine thing a man can do. And it's, dude, you can't deny it. Yeah. You cannot like once you do, you're like, changes your life.

SPEAKER_00: 19:37

Because you think, right, even the old school quote unquote alpha male, right? It's to protect your family and set them up for success. Mm-hmm. But there's nothing greater that you can do as far as giving your family an inheritance into the kingdom of God. And we were just talking about this, right? Yes, bro. Like the the most alpha biblical manhood thing that you can do is. Is set the examples that are gonna lead your family into joy, into peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, love, self-control. All the fruit of the spirit based on your yes.

SPEAKER_02: 20:12

And you know what it comes down to? Our flesh.

SPEAKER_00: 20:15

Oh yeah. Waging war every day.

SPEAKER_02: 20:17

Not wanting it. It's uncomfortable. But I'll I'll die for my kids. I'll die for more killing for my kid.

SPEAKER_00: 20:23

Will you live for them?

SPEAKER_02: 20:24

Will you bring will you do everything you can to take your kids to heaven with you?

SPEAKER_00: 20:27

Yeah. Will you humble yourself enough to actually submit to Christ? To follow what he says, to believe in his promises, even when it's uncomfortable and it seems like there's no way that God can do this or redeem this or save me from this or bring me back from this. Will you do it? And that's my story, dude.

SPEAKER_02: 20:47

This is gonna be a great episode. People are probably already listening, like, what is this dude's deal? What is going on? Yeah, that ain't that it ain't yours. You go somewhere else. But I love this, man, because like this is the chapter that I'm in. And I I don't have regret. I wish I was doing this earlier. I wish I was doing this in my 30s. I wish I felt this when she was 10 years old instead of 17. Think by the grace of God and lit her ass on fire. Just she loves and just consumes it all. So I'm very blessed there. But it's taken me years, and it's like, and but that there's no time, you can't put a time on it. Exactly. And that's that's my biggest battle when these people are like, you need to, you need to find Christ, you need now. I guess I think for the longest time, that's what drove me away was Christians telling me, you making me come to their level. I need a meeting, but I always would ask them, Well, how long did it take for you to get to this level? Great question. You did you were just born a born-again saved Christian, and you're high and mighty now, and you're better. Like, I need to be on your level. How do okay, how do I get on your level? Where do I like I and so that was my biggest thing for the longest time until I realized, like, okay, they just started, they just started hiking on that trail fat quicker than I did. They started maybe three years ago. So that's where I had to kind of like take my step back and be like, okay, those are just the different style of Christian. There's different levels, yeah, dude. All different sorts of faith and where they're at in their journey. And so I really had to check myself there, like, you know, because I would take it personal. Like, I'm trying, I believe, I see it, I feel it. It's I there's no denying it, but like I'm not as on fire as them. So that was my big battle for a long time. Like, man, these people are just you should be this, you should feel this way. It's like, yeah, I should, but like, I don't.

unknown: 22:39

Nothing.

SPEAKER_02: 22:39

And so I felt it was almost like a shame thing in a way that I'd look at these on fire Christians and be like, ah, they're they're telling me I need to do this, this, and this. It's like they're right, but it was not the right approach, I feel. And I think that's what turns a lot of people off, especially the alpha male dudes and the guys that are God conscience, but maybe just not dove all the way in yet. They got a couple toes in the deep end. And so it's for me, it was that was a big push away for me. It was like this the I don't want to say judgment of it, but them expecting me to be at their level immediately when it's a journey, man, and it's there's it is a path and a walk. That's what you know, you gotta take your walk with God, and where that takes you and how fast you get there is is each individual's person's own journey.

SPEAKER_00: 23:27

Yeah, I think you make a good point. I think one of the har most harmful things that Christians probably unintentionally do is like tell you what you need to do, but they don't explain how to do it. Hey, pray more. What what does that look like? Hey, grow closer to Christ. How? Exactly. And then they don't follow up with like practical application or discipleship. Yeah. There is a discipleship crisis in America.

SPEAKER_02: 23:51

You need to be doing this.

SPEAKER_00: 23:51

Well, what is this? What does it look like? How are you gonna walk me through it?

SPEAKER_02: 23:55

Like, how do I just how do I start ripping off scriptures? Yeah. Well, you should be you should be reading this. Where is that?

SPEAKER_00: 24:02

And and what are you doing to disciple? What are you doing about the Great Commission? Yeah, you know, the person calling that person out. Like, yeah, help them be more convicted, help them be more convicted about reading their word, offer your services. What did you go through the past 30 years that made you a Christ follower?

SPEAKER_02: 24:21

What led you to one open your heart to Christ?

SPEAKER_00: 24:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 24:26

What was your journey? Because maybe my journey's taking me a little bit longer, according to my wife. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 24:33

You know, so but maybe they're more relatable than you think, and actually you're hindering the person that you want to grow, you're hindering their growth by actually not just sharing your story.

SPEAKER_02: 24:41

I think a that's another catch, a hang up with me in the beginning days with a lot of Christians is that they just uh all Christians, not all, a lot of Christians want to just speak of where they're at now. I'm on fire, oh my god, I do this and Bible studies and my life's perfect, perfect this marriage, everything. When in reality, it's like, okay, nobody's perfect. I know you're battling demons because everybody's got one. It's like, well, what's it take? You know, you're you're here now, but like, what was your journey to get there? Were you addicted to porn? Were you an alcoholic? Were you a drug addict and you're a pro whatever the everybody's problems and everybody's gone through something? Everybody. Yep. Okay, what was your journey? But I think a lot of people forget that because they look at the end goal and they want to just have this relationship with God, which is incredible. That's sort of that's how it should be. But they forget, hey, I used to be a sinner on this on a daily, I battled this for years. This had a hold of me for half my life, and a lot of that's why I feel the best Christians are the ones that just talk. Like this conversation is probably going to go in a lot of different directions, just because for me at least, I just I need to hear people's stories. Exactly. I want to not that I need to relate, but when I can look at another grown-ass man and be like, oh damn, dude, okay, like we're on the same level. That's exactly it. That's where I think a lot of Christians need to come and realize is you're not obviously you're lifting them up to you, but I feel a lot of people just need to meet, take a step off that pedestal, grab a hand and be like, hey, let's let's go on this journey together. This is what I've been through, and that's where community is so important. That's what I fight. Like, I try like men's groups and stuff, not my thing. I'm getting a little bit more open to it. So I've recently met a couple guys in town and they're my type of dude. Military guys, law enforcement guys, but not the bro vet. They're just chill dads. Yep. And they're like, man, you should try this with. I'm like, okay, if these are my type of guys and they're into it, okay, instead of the fled Flanders or whatever from The Simpsons, like, I don't know, bam, let's go to church. And I'm like, I'm good. You know, like it just like I'm not judging, but that's just who I am. I'm like, I need to relate with guys because I don't know if I'm gonna step in this group and like I'm the only dude that's gonna be opening up and like I'm just embarrassed about it. So it's finding that community that fits you, and they there's a million of them out there, yeah. You know, and they all have their own ways of gathering and where they're doing it and stuff like that. So I'm definitely opening up more to it, but I've just been this like secluded baby Christian, which isn't I feel is not the right way to be able to learn and educate and just feel it.

SPEAKER_00: 27:33

So you you you community is so important, yeah. And there's so many people that are in the same boat as you of like, dude, there's no way I connect with that type of group. Yeah, that's why like we need guys like you in the kingdom, guys like me in the kingdom who have been through some stuff, got tattoos on their arms, maybe rough around the edges, but like you're a dude's dude who nobody's gonna look at you and be like, that dude's a goofball. They're gonna be like, Oh, that dude's a hardened military vet, but he loves Jesus with all his heart. There must be something there, right? And that that's what's powerful is like the kingdom is so diverse to where it's for everybody, and that's the cool thing about big dudes like you, right? Who come to Christ is like how many other big dudes like you who are hardened, maybe they've seen the worst of the worst, are like, oh bam, did or like I think of a guy like Blake Cook, you know how that is? Just he went on the Sean Ryan show, like kind of came up this year. I'm sure former uh I think he was like Louisville or Louisiana cop, big old beard, long hair, but like loves Jesus and talked about it on major platforms, but he's like tatted knuckles down, like was on the gang unit. But like dudes like that who are unapologetic for Jesus, guys like us, we need that. Yeah, our our circles need that because they're like, oh, that guy's not too cool for school, and neither can I be.

SPEAKER_02: 28:54

Why they need it is because it's hard to look at dudes like our statute, right? Like cops, military. I'm using air quotes on alpha guys, but when you see that dude on his knees praying, you're like, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 29:13

Yes. Why? That's exactly it. If he's not too strong to pray, if he's not too alpha to pray, if he's not too cool to love Christ and lead his family that way, neither am I.

SPEAKER_02: 29:26

The thing that I wish I could scream from every rooftop is how it makes you feel. That's to me, and during this journey, uh God, we haven't got into your story yet. Um This is better. Yeah, for sure. To me, that's the like that's like the like why don't people explain this?

SPEAKER_00: 29:46

Yeah, you can't sometimes. Sometimes you can't put words.

SPEAKER_02: 29:51

And how it just it just softens you, just what I mean soften it in the greatest way to where leaving church today. Perfect example.

SPEAKER_00: 30:02

Great example, tell it.

SPEAKER_02: 30:04

I didn't I let a guy in, I start going, another dude thinks he's gonna cut in front of me. He starts throwing his arms and in the church park a lot. In the church park a lot, doing this to me. Old bam, before God. We're gonna have a situation. But I look at the guy and I'm like, like, you know, laughing. I yeah, we start laughing. I'm like, dude, you're in church parking, like, but that used to be me in that truck. That was we're sitting, we're waiting 15 minutes just to crawl 10 feet out of this parking lot that we just sat through an awesome service, two other guests from the podcast there. Like, what a great morning, right? And then all this guy store in his heart, but that used to be me. And now I'm like, like, you know, but when I say soften you, it's I carried and I've talked I've I've been a pretty open with it the hate and the anger and the weight that men just carry every single day, and you just don't know. You get used to it, but it builds and it bottles, and then you're having these moments where you're snapping at your kids, you're irritable for no reason, you're taking it out on your wife, and it's like, why? There's I don't know how many times I've sat in my room, talked to Jesus, been like, why? Why? Why why am I at like there? I have healthy children, I got a roof over men, we got food in the fridge. Why am I acting like this? Why am I an asshole for no reason? And then the prayer, you start praying for those things. Yeah, so you know, my wife put she's probably prayed for 17 years of being with me to soften my heart, turn a heart of stone, and then once you start feeling that and you softening to a lot of dudes would look as weak, then now I'm like, I feel great. Yeah, I don't have road road rage anymore. I'm not trying to fight everybody, you know. It's just I don't that it's just gone. And it's like I have my little flare-ups, so a thousand percent. Okay, not sitting here saying I'm perfect, but compared to who I used to be and how I used to feel and just carry this, just I mean, my wife, she just still admitted. I I woke up every day and chose violence. If it if it presented itself, there was never a moment where I was gonna be like, All right, buddy, you're right. Like it was straight to confrontation every single time. And now I'm like, Yeah, you're good, dude, whatever. Like, like now, if the wrong person is gonna test me on a wrong day, I'm not saying I'm perfect, but that's why I pray every day and working to be a better person. But just that softening, man, I wish every I wish so many of my friends and so many men out there can feel what it is like to be like a true, it's be it true peace and happiness. And I feel like once you start uh just getting a taste of that, and it's like, okay, okay, I need more of this. Yeah. What do I have to do? Why do I feel this way? Why what's changing inside of me? And then you start seeing your kids like, man, dad, you haven't had a haven't been in blow up in a while. And then it's like, damn, do they notice? It's a beautiful thing, it's an incredible thing.

SPEAKER_00: 33:20

I think the more the more time you spend with the Lord, the less weight that you start to carry. Because as men, we carry a lot of weight. A lot. And we put it on our shoulders. But the gospel is that he took that weight for us. Yes. So if we can actually learn to give that to him, to cast our cares on him because he cares for us and actually believe that. But a lot of the times, like that word cast there, it means to cast and let go of it. What we'll do is we'll treat it like a fishing line. If no bites, we don't feel like God's working, he's not working quick enough, we'll reel it back in. I love that. I want that weight back because I'm gonna go over here to this next spot and catch this fish, right? Or do it my way. Yep. And it's like it says cast your cares to him because he cares for you. A lot of men don't want to cast cares because it makes them feel weak. But the problem is you're only weakening yourself and your flesh and your family by carrying the weight that you were never meant to carry. Absolutely. You were never meant to carry that weight, you weren't built that way. It just builds. Yeah. You start picking up more weight and you're angrier, it's heavier. It's just like in the in the natural, the more weight, the more pressure. Guess what? Eventually you're gonna collapse.

SPEAKER_02: 34:33

And then when you collapse, it who's who's who's in front, like who's taking the blunt of it? Your family. Your family? Is it alcohol? Is it drugs? Is it chasing women? Like, then that's when you start looking for those outs.

SPEAKER_00: 34:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 34:48

So good. Who would have thought?

SPEAKER_00: 34:51

Who would have thought, dude?

SPEAKER_02: 34:55

God shit. It's wild. Y'all are wild. Oh man. It's it's it's it's such an incredible feeling, dude. I I have known never in a million years ever would think I'd be talking about how happy I feel and how incredible life is once I started praying.

SPEAKER_00: 35:15

Well, we talked about this downstairs with your with your wife, of There's No Coincidences, right? So I believe that too. And just the divine nature of God and how he orchestrates relationships and connections through like random stuff, what we think to be as random. It's very, it's very he's very detail-oriented. He's a God of order, right? And so when he's putting these things in order before we even knew each other, he was prepping both of us for this day, which is insane to think about, right? He was prepping our conversations, he was prepping our hearts, he was prepping your podcasts, which you thought was just gonna be crazy cool stories, which they are, but what's it turning into? People deferring to give God glory. Yeah. And it's like more people are hungry right now, and he's blowing up your platform because more people are giving God glory. So he's blessing it, he's showing you favor. But that all came when you're dude, okay. I love this because you even said it, like you're rough around the edges, right? Like you're like you're not like perfect, you still got your stuff. Dude, God wants a willingness and an attempt at obedience to him. Meaning, if you just come to him, most people think I gotta clean up before I even come to God, or you know, like no. He's he wants all of you. Yes, a thousand percent. He wants full submission. It's hard. You gotta pick up your cross and carry it daily and come as you are. And that's the beautiful thing that I think uh it blocks a lot of people. It's a huge stumbling block. It's it's hard to wrap your head around the fact that all I wait, you're telling me all I have to do is reach right now initially, is to reach and to literally confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe my heart that he was raised from the dead. That's it for all the things that I've done.

SPEAKER_03: 37:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 37:18

Yeah. And watch what he does.

SPEAKER_02: 37:21

But it's so hard. It's so hard. It's it it's you I mean, just like every we talked about a little bit prior to this, just praying.

SPEAKER_00: 37:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 37:30

It's the greatest form of therapy to me. Don't ball my eyes out. Yeah. And I'm like, oh God, okay, feel great. Next night, ugh, I don't want to get on. I don't want to get on my knees. Do I have to get on my knees? Do I have to pray? Yes, okay, get down, do it again. I'm like, whoa, this flush just flushes you. Go to sleep, feel great, wake up next morning, feel incredible, spend my time. Next night, fight it again. Fight it again. It's that flesh, you know, and but it's like come come as you are. You hear that all constantly. All day, hear it all day. I've heard it a billion times. Once you actually like, what do you what does he mean? Come as I am.

SPEAKER_01: 38:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 38:09

You mean to tell me with my addictions, with my my skeletons, with my demons that I fight every day, I could just I can just come and have this conversation.

SPEAKER_00: 38:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 38:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 38:19

Because God's a healer, he's a provider, he's a redeemer, he's a restorer. He like and oh gosh, the feeling of what you were talking about. When you start to feel all those things, you're like, there's nothing greater than a good father. And there's a lot of people with father wounds and mother wounds, and yeah, like you raise your hand. Dude, I feel like the Spirit of God is saying that he's proud of you. Like right now.

SPEAKER_01: 38:45

Thanks, dude.

SPEAKER_00: 38:45

Yeah, I don't know if you're told that a lot, but yeah, he's I feel like he's proud of you. Thank you. You know, like because you're taking steps to like like he's dude, he's wooing you, right? He's wooing you to himself, he's wooing your listeners to himself through crazy stories like mine, through crazy lives like yours. You're you've lived a messy life, I've lived a messy life. But like I was sharing downstairs, 1 Corinthians, and talks about he uses the foolishness of the world to shame the wise, the weak to shame the strong, like the the most unqualified individuals. He called 12 disciples who were just like nobody's scripture says that they were uh unlearned men, meaning that they were preaching the gospel and weren't smart, they're like still dumb, to put it plainly. Like that's the kind of God that we serve. He's gonna call people with messy pasts like us because here's the biggest part we're willing to share all of us, meaning your mess and my mess. We turn our mess into our message and we're willing to share it. But that's what a lot of guys aren't willing to do. We hide from our past.

SPEAKER_02: 39:59

That's the pride.

SPEAKER_00: 40:00

Yeah. Or or fear. Fear. Because of judgment. Oh, I I had a weak moment, or I had a lapse of judgment, or this person's gonna judge me for my mistake, or what are these people gonna think when I, you know, do this or come back here? It's like we're we have we have deep deep rooted fear that sometimes is undealt with until we actually come into full agreement with Christ.

SPEAKER_02: 40:22

I would lose everything right now to feel what I feel with him. Like by if if me talking about it turned people away, I would I would take it all. Yeah, I'd lose every follower right now if if that if it meant how I'm not even dude, I'm still brand new into my journey. But what it has done and transformed me so far, I wouldn't go, I'd I'll shut everything down right now. Yeah, I actually pray for it. Pray for it. That's all you know. I'm I'm fulfilled when bam disappears. It's crazy though, man. It's just I wish every man can feel what we're able to feel. And they can, but it's available to them. And this is how this is how I look at it with for non-believers. Let's say let's just say none of it's real. God doesn't exist, science has proven everything wrong, which has never debunked anything from the Bible. Let's just pretend it's all, let's just pretend it's any other religion out there. But if you lived your life just following the Bible and just going along with this made-up religion, you're gonna live such a happy, fulfilled, grateful, loving life and have this warmth and peace and gratitude, and you get to watch the fruits through your children and watching them grow and blossom, and you're looking at it from a completely different point of view, instead of this hateful, angry, gotta be this man, I gotta be this badass dude, I gotta protect. And then, but if I just follow this, and let's say it's all fake, and we all just die and we go to ash and we get sprouted as a tree, whatever, whatever anybody else thinks. Let's just say the worst case scenario, you are going to live such an incredible life, a happy, fulfilled life believing in this. But it's the fact that it's real and that it's true, and that he gave us his son and then it walked this earth and died for us and bled for us for our sin to be able to be like, hey, here's all of my imperfections, here's all of my problems, all of my demons, all of my battles. Here, help me, take them. It's all like well, when when I started really looking at this, I'm like, God, like I was watching my wife because she was on fire way years before me. She got pulled in, and so I was watching her. I'm like, okay, even if like I was always a believer, I was never a non-believer, I just fell away, and which gave me a lot of doubt and questions. Just just due to my level of education and scripture, and that's all on me, and just reading the Bible. But I'd watch my wife, and I'm like, God, like she's making like I'm watching this change. Yeah, I'm watching who she's blossoming into, what how she's looking at things, how she's receiving things and processing them. I'm like, okay, like that sort of thing. I'm like, even if this was all just BS, the fact of how she is living her life is is that's what I want. I want to feel I wanna feel that.

SPEAKER_00: 43:35

I mean scripture actually talks about that, which is very interesting. So it says, like I'm paraphrasing that wives will win over their husbands by their conduct. Example A. It's not God's design, but your wife's conduct and fruit of her life by submitting to Christ actually is winning you and wooing you over to Him. That's why I said, like, praise God for your praying wife, dude. Like, seriously. Men need praying wives. And women need praying, submissive husbands. We don't want to talk about submissive as men. No, we never want to talk about that word. That's a very preach that word for five years. Yeah, let's get into it. Submission, dude. It's the word I heard when I asked God what to do when my life fell apart. Submit. What does that mean? It means are you willing to literally do anything that Christ calls you to do. I had to come to a crossroads of a word that I was preaching for five years. I wasn't living in one area. And it was the fear of getting back into law enforcement. I had to display uncomfortable obedience before I could preach it. And I'll do anything for a sermon. I will do anything to give God glory. That is why I got back into law enforcement. So that I can give him glory and I'm actually fully equipped and qualified to preach. You need to be obedient even when it's uncomfortable. Absolutely. And that's my whole story, dude. I did the whole thing scared. Should we get into it?

SPEAKER_02: 45:16

I think a lot of us do. Yeah. Alright, let's get into it, dude. Now that we just that was uh that was cool.

SPEAKER_00: 45:22

We're gonna have to circle back on submission because I'm gonna get there.

SPEAKER_02: 45:25

For sure. Okay. I guess let's get into it. Well, first, why'd you why'd you want to be a cop?

SPEAKER_00: 45:31

I didn't. The first time? Yeah. I love helping people, so I love serving people.

SPEAKER_02: 45:36

So you knew you wanted that was I didn't grow up wanting to be a cop.

SPEAKER_00: 45:38

I don't have that kind of story of you know dreaming to be a cop. My grandfather was an officer for 30 years, was a motor detective, like did a lot of things in the city of Merced. And uh was widely known. And so I was always around, you know, we were watching cops together, and so you could say that I had kind of a background and and an interest in it, but I never grew up and I was like, I want to be a cop. I actually wanted to be a firefighter. Yeah, and I took the the EMT test or whatever. I passed the EMT course, took the national registry once, failed it, and was like, Yeah, I'm not taking that again. It was like 300 questions like, yeah, I'm good. I failed it, I'm not gonna, it was too hard. Yeah. And so um, I knew I wanted to serve people in a different capacity. I do I love helping people, I love serving people, and so I was like, I'm gonna be a cop. And so uh went through the academy. The academy was probably the darkest six months of my life. Why? One, I was living in sin and darkness, and I wasn't a believer, so I wasn't a follower of Christ. I'm having to cope with all these dark emotions that I know nothing about for the first time in my life. I'm like, I was always against the word depression growing up as an alpha male, like depression, nah, can't can't touch me. Anxiety, non-existent, but I was actually depressed for six months.

SPEAKER_02: 46:56

During the academy?

SPEAKER_00: 46:57

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 46:58

Well, what was what was depressing about it?

SPEAKER_00: 47:00

I can't, I still cannot put words to why I was depressed. I would wake up almost every morning weeping, begging that God would pull me out of it, like get me out of the academy somehow, somehow. And I pushed through. Like any good old alpha male would do. I don't know what it was. To this day, I don't uh demonic oppression. How was the academy for you? It was rough, dude.

SPEAKER_02: 47:24

It was it was like well, I mean, so what's what's so I mean, because I've talked to a lot of cops. What was rough for you?

SPEAKER_00: 47:30

Well So you you get a lot of people, it's no big deal, it is what it is. For me and how I went through it, I hated it. It was hard in the sense of like demeaning, degrading, constant pressure, coming home and having to be a you know fiance and like dealing with the pressures of home, and like I just didn't like it. It it was a lot of mental drainage and mental exhaustion that I felt. Okay, and how I coped with that was alcohol.

SPEAKER_02: 48:04

Okay, so you because you already had the the roots planted for college. So immediately you just roll right into the academy, you're feeling very depressed, dark times, and you did you So I wasn't depressed entering the academy.

SPEAKER_00: 48:18

It was kind of gradual. It's like, man, this sucks. And like I see no light at the end of the tunnel. It's six months.

SPEAKER_02: 48:23

You suck it out, huh?

SPEAKER_00: 48:24

Yeah, I suck it out. Like there was no other way for me. I wasn't gonna quit. I'm not gonna be that guy. Yeah, I never quitted anything. Like, and again, football, baseball, basketball. I'm used to yelling, you know, I'm used to the occasional demeaning words and getting on, you know, coach getting on me for whatever, but like it was just different. It was a different type of thing, it was a different kind of pressure, it was a different kind of weight, it was a different kind of mental exhaustion that I had never really been able to process. Okay, and how I dealt with that was coping. And the way that I coped was unhealthy, yeah. But that stemmed from college. Okay. And so coping with alcohol, dude, we would I would literally um we would our whole social life was breweries or wineries. Like that's what we did, me and my wife. She's my fiance at the time. And our whole life revolved around it. So I would literally go to a brewery, get drunk, forget I was in the academy, go home, go to sleep, go to the academy the next day to try and like forget that I was in it because it was so dark. I did not want to I did not want to think about the fact that I have to be in this academy right now. Yeah. And it was just it was a lot, dude. And there's so many stories of people having it worse than me, and so it it sounds minimal, but like it it and I'm not trying to compare like traumas because I never like to do that, but it was it was traumatic for me to where it was it actually affected my mental and led me to you know what happened.

SPEAKER_02: 49:57

All from the academy, huh?

SPEAKER_00: 49:58

Yeah, that's interesting. So there's there's there's also a father wound there. How that had something to do with that. So me and my dad were best friends growing up, um, very supportive of me, like my best friend growing up. Sports lived vicariously through me of like just my number one fan. You know how it goes, right? Oh yeah. And uh went to college to play ball, he would travel, he never missed a game, barely missed practices. Like he would, he's all in. Yep. And so when I decided to hang him up and walk away, that relationship was kind of severed, strained, yeah, severed, strained. Because for the longest time, what was normal to us was connecting through sports. And so what are we gonna talk about now? You know what I mean? Like you guys had nothing outside of sports. I I'd like to think that we did, but to think of all of our conversations, it was revolved around recruiting and what's next, and how was the game and how was practice and what's this MLB team doing, and what's this player doing? And so when I walked away from the game, I was like, I was done with baseball, dude. Like I kind of walked away bitter because I was drinking all the time, I didn't care, kind of threw my college career away. Like, yeah, my shoulder was hurting, but I I I could have played somewhere else for the next two years, but I'm like, I'm done. I just I don't love it anymore. It's more of a job than it is um fun for me, and I was trying to start real life. Like I wanted to get a job, make money, be an adult, you know, do do real life. And so when I walked away from baseball, it kind of severed the relationship. It's never been the same since. And then when I became a Christian, it I mean, my so when I became a Christian, my entire family, almost my entire family, uh I want to use the word betrayed me. Dude, I was someone saying I'm in a cult, someone's saying this dude's going insane. What's up with this dude? I'm holier than thou, right? So I'm like, I'm feeling this betrayal for my family and all this stuff. That's you know, that's post-conversion. I'll get back to what we were talking about, but I think the father wound had a lot to do with it. Okay, I didn't have my dad in the academy.

SPEAKER_02: 52:23

To lean on, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 52:24

So I feel you.

SPEAKER_02: 52:25

I went through my whole early military days and I didn't have him at all either. So I'm with you on that.

SPEAKER_00: 52:30

So it was just kind of hard for me to I didn't have anybody to talk to. Anytime I had stressors or things to talk about, like that I needed to talk about, I had my dad there. But the most important, like the only dark time in my life as a I was 22, 23 years old. No real life, like just college and partying, and so I didn't know what a dark moment looked like. I didn't know what depression looked like, I didn't know what anxiety was looking like, and I didn't know why I was feeling those things, but I was right. So who am I gonna talk to? The bottle, and that's all I had. Yep, and so that's who I leaned on.

SPEAKER_02: 53:10

Dang, man. Okay, so you get through the academy. What was your first day on the job like as a cop first? Even with your your FTO, you're strapped in, you get on the job, dude.

SPEAKER_00: 53:25

First day on the job as a cop. What was that like? I remember it vaguely, but I remember my FTO was like, Alright, you're driving a day. Like, I've never experienced a day on the street, and that's not common. Okay, at least from stories I hear. Of like, usually you gotta ride in the passenger seat, it's kind of like a glorified ride-along. You do a week or two of like kind of seeing how it's done, seeing how your FTO operates. He's like, All right, you ready to drive? Just gives me the keys and hops in the car. And he's an old, like, he's super cool, okay, gentle FTO, but like vetted. He had like a year left till retirement. So I'm cruising around, I'm like, I don't even know what to do. And we're cruising around the city just trying to get the you know geography of it. And we're sitting at a red light, and there's like people like blowing the light, or like, you know, it's a it's a it's a quick yellow, and you could violate them or whatever. He's like, Are you gonna pull somebody over? I'm tired of watching violations happen in front of us. And I'm like, Yes, sir. Like, I don't know what to do. So like there's no instruction, there's nobody telling me what to do. Like, this is real now. It's set in, and I have to like find stuff to do and learn how to be proactive. So I think you know, hands-on learning of being thrown into the fire, like figuring it out was the best way for me. But again, during that whole time, dude, it was like I hated FTO, and it was smooth. I had zero bad experiences in FTO. Okay, but it was like, yeah, there was there was there was a mental block to where it was like something dark was going on inside my mind, not related to the job, because everything on the job was going well. Everything in the FTO program was going well. I was crushing training, doing well, right up to speed. Same thing with the academy. Excelling crushed it. So it wasn't like I'm being picked on, and like it's just I can't take it. There was there was something going on in my mind that I couldn't put words to, and I didn't know how to cope with it. And I and I and I cannot put words other than possibly just right now connecting the father wound to it of like I just didn't have who I needed, you know, and I there's probably people out there that maybe they feel the same way of like sometimes in seasons you just need certain people, absolutely, and I didn't have my rock, yeah. You know, I didn't have them. Yep, so it's tough for me.

SPEAKER_02: 55:54

How long was your FTO program for?

SPEAKER_00: 55:56

Um FTO probably total six months.

SPEAKER_02: 56:00

Okay. So you're six months of the academy, six months as FTO. Uh might have yeah, give or take six months. And so what are you feeling it out now? Or like you excited to be a cop? I mean are you still in this dark time or after I was solo, it's great. Yeah? Yeah. What would it what was great about it?

SPEAKER_00: 56:17

I think not having somebody in my car, like looking over my shoulder, watching my every move, like critiquing me, marking in their notes. Every time someone pulled a note out, I'm like, dude, what did I do wrong? Oh yeah, for sure. And it's like it may not even necessarily be wrong. It's like they wanted to prop me on something or commend me on a call that I handled well, but it was just like I don't like somebody be in my car, watching over my every move. You know, it's kind of nerve-wracking. It's just nerve-wracking. Yeah, I didn't like it. There was nothing wrong with it. Yeah, they didn't do anything bad. I don't I don't have the horror stories of like just an FTO that's like yelling and cursing and freaking out on you. I don't have that story. Yeah. You know, um, I handle my business and you know, for the most part, I was a good thing.

SPEAKER_02: 57:01

What's the what's the day-to-day look like for you as a cop uh during this time?

SPEAKER_00: 57:06

Back then? Yep. Um I was on weekday days. Okay. So, you know, handle normal calls for service, nothing crazy, homeless people, trespasses, being proactive, community events. That's kind of a lot of day shift stuff. Yeah. Um, is just being involved in you know, proactive community engagement and stuff. So getting out of my car, being with people, being with community answering questions. Um yeah, nothing crazy because I was all my training period was that's when I touched every shift. You touch the swings, you touch the graves, you touch the days. Yep. We had a relief shift to where it's like a kind of in between. You start at 11 a.m. and you kind of like are a relief shift for um days and swings. So I touched every shift during training and then I got placed on days. Days is kind of uh depends. Days is kind of boring, so like it's an OG shift. So I learned a ton because I had all the OGs on my shift. These are guys that are close to retirement. Okay, they're working four days a week, they got weekends off. Like that, they're primed up, they're they're ready to go. But that only usually people get placed there because there's a vacancy because somebody retired from that shift. So I got placed there, had a great beat partner. He's actually my real estate agent, yeah, dude. Yeah, like still my real real estate agent. And uh just phenomenal dude. I learned a ton because of who was on the shift with me. So a lot of OGs were just willing to teach and walk me through calls, and like I'm solo, but there's still calls that I never handled, you know, to where it's like this is still new to me. So being able to lean on them was huge. Um, and yeah, just day shift. There's typically nothing crazy going on, thefts, stuff like that. We had a huge mall where we were at, so uh a lot of thefts and shopping centers, stuff like that. Chasing kids. Yeah, nothing crazy. There, I mean, we had our stuff, like guns, drugs. We even had prostitutes, like stuff like that. But on day shift, you don't come out at night.

SPEAKER_02: 59:06

It is interesting how everything just starts popping off at night and full moon.

SPEAKER_00: 59:09

Sun goes down, dude. It's yeah, children of darkness, they're they're coming out.

SPEAKER_02: 59:14

So weird. That's why I tell her, I'm like, fine, because you know, obviously she's older now and can do whatever she wants. But in the earlier days of her driving, I'm like, tell me one good thing that happens after 10 o'clock.

SPEAKER_00: 59:26

Nothing.

SPEAKER_02: 59:28

Absolutely nothing. I'm like, in my line of work, nothing is happening after 10 o'clock that you need to be out on the road. I was like, I feel like that is fair from everything I've experienced. So yeah, it's it's interesting how there's a shift really quick, and that's when the sun goes down and people start getting they start popping off. Okay, so how long were you a cop before you got in trouble?

SPEAKER_00: 59:50

Not counting the academy, a year minus thirty days.

SPEAKER_02: 59:53

A year minus thirty days?

SPEAKER_00: 59:55

I was thirty days away from probation.

unknown: 59:59

You got

SPEAKER_02: 1:00:00

Popped while you're on probation. Okay, so let's walk through this. So, what did you do to get fired as being a cop?

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:07

I'll preface it with this. I can laugh about it now, right? And tell the story. Yeah. This is in no way a flex. So for your viewers, and you're you're gonna get hateful trolls that are coming out of nowhere, out of the woodworks, um, who know me and who have seen my stuff, but I just want to preface it with this ain't a flex, this is just real life, and I'm able to laugh about it now because I'm redeemed. But uh I flew to Arizona for a bachelor party. One of my best friends from preschool or kindergarten, like we go way back. You know, I've known him for over 20 years. Flew there for a bachelor party, we're hanging out, we're drinking. I start right when I get off the plane and to the Airbnb. Like I'm drinking, we go to Top Golf, I'm drinking. Um, we go downtown, I'm drinking. And at this point, I probably blacked out by 3, 4 p.m.

SPEAKER_02: 1:00:59

That's impressive.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:00

Night's not even started. Yeah. Right. So we get to the downtown scene in Scottsdale, Arizona, and I I you're probably gonna understand when I say this. It's like flashes of memory. Right? Like you don't remember the whole thing. Putting pieces together. Correct. So I got I got kicked out of at least four to six bars. Okay. Um, like they dude, like it was so bad to where they they like I don't know how they do this, but they had a system to where they knew my face upon entering each bar and club at the downtown scene of Scottsdale. Because I remember entering this bar, sitting down and getting a drink, and somebody came up to me and physically came and said, You can't be here. So, like, word was getting around that I am so drunk that I'm to not be served, let alone enter any bar or club. That's how bad it was. Okay, that's impressive. I'm making a scene, you know, I'm cussing, I'm I'm trying to be the alpha male of the city at this point, and I'm like thinking I'm on top of the world. Meanwhile, I have no idea what I'm doing. My friends aren't helping me because they're probably encouraging it, or they're trying to stop me, and I'm not typically a guy that you can stop back then. Next thing you know, I'm in line uh at this bar and I'm trying to get inside. No idea where my friends are. I think they left. I'm by myself, downtown Scottsdale, and the next thing you know, I have probably eight to ten officers with me with the mounted unit, and I am causing an absolute scene in the middle of Scottsdale, Arizona, okay, in the bars. There's two horses in my face with a mounted unit on top. There's a sergeant over here talking to me. I'm arguing face to face with an officer, telling him I'm a cop. Oh no. You can't do this to me, and all the things. I'm making an absolute fool of myself. I tainted the badge 100%. Stained it, tainted it, tarnished it. What a fool. So I get all the hate, dude. Did you just go physical? Nope. Nothing physical. Yelling in their face. They asked me who my on-call sergeant is. Oh no, you're done. I don't know what I told them. Next thing you know, I'm on the curb in handcuffs, dude. And finally I'm like, alright, I'll listen, I'll leave. Too late, dude. We're past that point. So I get walked to a patrol car and I get booked at the county jail as an off-duty cop. No.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:17

How you're probably not in the right state of mind to be processing this. Not at all. I'm having a panic panic attack in the jail.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:27

As an off-duty cop. Yep. They separate me, like I'm in confinement, because obviously, like, yeah, it's not wise for me to mix, so I'm thankful for that. You didn't have a badge on you, did you? No, I think I had my ID card. Okay. And I was probably flashing that. Okay. But I'm bragging about I'm a cop. I'm thinking I'm high and mighty. I'm gonna get out of it.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:53

Oh, I've been here.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:55

I've been here. Dude, I get booked in jail and I spend the night in jail. I call my on-duty supervisor from the jail.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:08

How did that go over?

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:11

I mean, I woke him up at like 3 a.m.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:15

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:16

And I'm yapping in a jail phone, dude. I don't even know what I said. But he said, hey, just get through it and we'll see you when we see you. Good luck, kid. A thousand percent. So, dude, I get out of jail.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:42

You're in there for 24 hours?

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:44

Not 24 hours. Okay. I got in until I sobered up in the morning.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:49

There was a taxi cab waiting for me. Took the taxi to the Airbnb, went to sleep for four hours. Canceled my flight that was supposed to be the next day. Because I was supposed to be there for like three days. Dude, I woke up sick to my stomach, not from the alcohol. From like, you know, when you're like drunk, but something happens, you're sober. You're like, oh my gosh, I just did that. Is that is that a dream? Is it a nightmare? No. It's a real life decision that I made.

SPEAKER_02: 1:06:21

Damn, so it's setting in now.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:22

And I had to deal with that. From that day forward, I had to deal with that as a man. I cancel my flight the next day. I book it for like now. I leave to the airport and I fly home. I have like 20 texts from my wife. She's my fiance at the time. No answer. I didn't text her back.

SPEAKER_02: 1:06:44

Did she know you were in jail? No. So she's just blowing you up concerned.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:48

Yeah, are you safe? Are you alive? What's going on, dude? And you're in jail. Yeah, it's very unlike me to not text you back.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:54

I'm in jail.

SPEAKER_02: 1:06:56

How did that conversation go? Did you text her that you were alive, or are you just like, I'll just do this in person?

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:02

I called her. Okay. And I just told her what happened. And she like it w The call of shame. It was the most like bone-chilling. I'm sure she was mad, but she wasn't yelling. She didn't demean me. She didn't degrade me. She didn't say anything about it other than like okay. Like get home. So I got home and we talked about it. And it was just dude, like it was like the darkest moment that I've ever experienced in my life. It came fully in front of me. Oh, for sure. And I had to choose how I was gonna deal with that.

SPEAKER_02: 1:07:48

How was your flight home? I was sick.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:53

My head was spinning. I felt sick. For multiple reasons. Alcohol-related career way. Oh yeah. I thought if there was any chance at saving it, it'd be because I was legit a stand-up dude. Like I say that, like I just got arrested for drunk in public. Who's gonna believe that? I was a stand-up dude. I never lied. Good cop. For the you know, time that I was on, good partner. Thought if anything's gonna save me, it's gonna be like because of who I really am. And maybe they won't take the lapse of judgment.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:33

Dude, I don't blame them for a second. I deserve to get fired. So four days later from that incident, I got let go. What was it like turning your badge and gun in? It was humiliating because they had to make sure that the department was clear of people and that the locker room was clear, and they had to like escort me in. So now you feel like a criminal in a way? Yeah. Which 100% justified. They're they have every I have nothing bad to say about anything that they did or how they handled it. So when they what a schmuck, dude, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:09:16

Yeah. So when they're firing you as a cop, they clear the department in case you like go postal when you're turning your gun in.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:25

No, more so it's more so for my dignity. They're making sure people aren't walking through like what why is he clearing out his locker? Uh they're they're doing it for my benefit. Right I asked that. And yeah, kind of. Like they make sure that you're you don't have your gun on you, right? Like, because who knows? You never know if somebody goes crazy and makes a stupid decision after the the first one, like, yeah, 100%. For for both reasons, but it was more so for the dignity part.

SPEAKER_02: 1:09:58

What was okay, so how did the conversation go? Because obviously you go back to work. What was the conversation like going back to work after being arrested as a cop, knowing you're gonna have to face your admin now?

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:10

Yeah, so I I I had to meet with the lieutenant, and it was a very short conversation. He said, Is there anything you want to say for yourself? And I said, This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. I apologize for my actions and and how it's you know, kind of represented the department and and put on display. This is not who I really am, and I really apologize for my decision. That was it. That quick. Yeah. They said, go clean your locker out. And I think it was a day later, so like on the fourth day is when I had to report, get my paperwork. That was it.

SPEAKER_02: 1:11:00

What did that feel like losing your job as a cop?

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:02

I called my grandma and cried. Cause she didn't know any of it. Ooh. How'd she take it? She was she was silent, she didn't understand what I was saying. Because in her eyes, I'm an angel. And truthfully, I've never done anything quote unquote wrong or major. Like I again, I wasn't I didn't get in trouble. I had never made a decision like that in my life. So it was a shock to everybody around me. It wasn't like, you know, Drew's always getting in trouble and he's always towing the line and like he's riding the gray and he's doing all these bad things. Eventually he's gonna get caught. That wasn't it. It was like one night, one decision, my life's changed forever. That's all it takes. That's all it takes, dude. One decision to change the trajectory of your life in the negative or the positive. And also, life's about decisions. So the next decision I had to make was am I gonna get back up or am I gonna stay down? And although I wanted to stay down, I knew that I couldn't.

SPEAKER_02: 1:12:15

You mentioned that it went viral. What went viral?

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:24

So you want to jump to that?

SPEAKER_02: 1:12:27

Are we not there yet?

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:28

That's three years later. That's three years after the arrest, bro.

SPEAKER_02: 1:12:36

It went viral? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:38

It nobody knew anything other than well, can we back up and then we'll get there? Yeah, okay. Because this part's important is I don't have it, I lost everything, right? And I didn't get saved in church, I didn't get saved in a men's group. I went up to my workshop on five acres and I asked God for the very first time because I had no idea what to do, and I had just made a wreck of my life.

SPEAKER_02: 1:13:04

This was your first conversation with God?

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:06

No, because I was raised Catholic. So I always say I had the foundation of God, but I never had a relationship with Christ, and that is the pinnacle peak point. Yeah. And so I asked God, what do you want me to do now? Because I just wrecked my entire life. One word. Submit. Like that's what I felt in my spirit. You need to it's time for you to submit. So, like the greatest mistake I ever made was getting arrested. Because it laid it led to the greatest transformation that's gonna change generations to come with my yes all day. Yeah, God's a redeemer. Yeah. So I simply submitted to him. What does that look like? I went all in because I had no other choice. What am I gonna do? Dude, I'm talking. I did whatever I felt God was telling me to do through his word, through wise counsel, through pastors in my life. A lot of people know this. I had a different I had an opportunity to go to a different department to be a reserve officer pretty quick after this. What's pretty quick? A month. Oh, no kidding. Had a connection with somebody important. And these and they were a mutual connection.

SPEAKER_02: 1:14:31

And they were willing to hire you in within a month of being fired as being a cop?

SPEAKER_00: 1:14:35

It would have no. So the yes, the yes was there, but it was still gonna be time and distance to get in as a reserve. But I had the it's yours if you want it. Okay. So I had that, or I could choose to go work at a church. I took a$40,000 pay cut, like any smart person would, and worked at a church as a facilities director. And I learned how to stack chairs, dude. That's what I call it. I learned how to be a humble person.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:05

So you went from being a cop, top of the world, to being fired to now stacking chairs at a cleaning toilets.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:12

Cleaning toilets. Talk about being humbled. I mean, I'm talking about the most humiliating thing I've ever done. And I had to make a decision, what's it gonna be? So when you say what is going all in look like, it means taking a$40,000 paint cut with a wife that I'm about to get married to and trusting that God is who he says he is and that he's gonna provide for us and he's gonna turn me into the man of God that he has called me to be. And if that means stacking chairs to start, I'm gonna do it. So I raised my hand and I said, I'm gonna take this job at the church because the church knew my story. Right when it happened, I started telling my story. There's no skeletons for me.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:56

Did you immediately stop drinking?

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:58

Um after getting fired, so my anniversary date of five years sober is November 20th. I got fired on the 14th. So my timestamp is just when I made the decision. So I met with my men's pastor, who's a great friend to me, great mentor. And he said, I feel like it's time to stop drinking. And right before that meeting, I prayed that God would speak through him to what he wanted me to do. I never looked back. That was his words. Yeah, I cold turkeyed it. I made the decision. Like when I say all in, whatever he said, I did it. Not my pastor, what I felt God was speaking to me and through different people that I trusted. And I knew there had to be a decision that I had to make. Am I going to continue drinking, towing the line, saying, oh, it's just one mistake, alcohol's not the problem, it's me, or am I going to make the best decision for my family, for my future kids, and for generations to come? Yeah. And that was the decision that I made. And and working at the church was the best decision that I ever made because I learned humility, dude. And I needed that because I was like a wild stallion. And I had to be broken in order to be put back together again. And after I realized that, humility set in, and I started to really take my job seriously, and I loved it and built community and learned what it took to actually humbly follow God. Like, what does it mean to follow Jesus truly? What does it mean to learn scripture? What does it mean to be a disciple? Not just a lover of God, but a follower of Christ. What does that mean? And so I learned that the past five years since getting arrested. What does that all mean? And people will try and say it's a gimmick, it's a fluke, he's not really sober, he's gonna go back to doing nobody can change once a whatever, always a whatever. It's like, dude, my life's been forever changed. Absolutely. Everyone around me knows it, and I praise God for it. Because if I didn't get arrested, I wouldn't have been humbled. Oh, yeah. I would have stayed cocky and arrogant and selfish, and that would have reflected in my marriage and in my kids. So I am thankful, dude. Cuffs to Christ. I am so thankful that I went from cuffs to Christ because it changed everything for me. I love that. And I'll take all the hate, I'll take all the comments, I'll take, dude, I got hate mail. Like it was dark. Oh, yeah. And so I'll take all of that because it came with walking with him. There was not a day that he wasn't with me. So yeah, I had to say that part before we got into the viral part because there I had to give context that I'm working at a church when this all goes down.

SPEAKER_02: 1:18:48

Okay, so we fast forward. So you're a probationary cop, you get arrested on a drunken rage night, lose your job, get extremely humbled, start working at the church, three years goes by, and then now your incident goes viral.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:11

Correct. Who posted it? Okay, so this is kind of a funny story looking back. It wasn't funny at the time. For sure, especially when cancel culture is after you. Yeah, dude. So I am in service worshiping, and I get this random message to my phone on Instagram, and then I got another one from Facebook, and my phone just starts popping up with messages. And I pull up my phone, and we're in the middle of service. I click on this link, it's me. It's the body cam footage to my arrest. No. From three years ago. So another thing, a lot of people, when that came out, they thought I had just got arrested.

SPEAKER_02: 1:19:58

Oh, it reset the

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:00

Haters and stuff thought, oh, this dude's fresh. Why like why is the church letting him do it's like, dude, this is three years ago. You just you're not doing your research, you're not checking timestamps. So it's like this is from three years ago, and it's just now getting out. To this day, I don't know who dug it up, but the fact that it was three years ago from the from it going viral, it was somebody who didn't like what I was doing. This is my this is my assumption. This is my own assessment based on you know facts and you know kind of timeline of things. It didn't like what I was doing and how I was building the kingdom because at this point I'm traveling and preaching, I'm sharing my story, I'm active on social media, sharing the gospel, I'm actively preaching at church.

SPEAKER_02: 1:20:48

You think it was somebody close, or you think it was somebody from the past?

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:51

I think it was somebody close.

SPEAKER_02: 1:20:53

Always is.

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:20:55

Do you have this video? Yeah. Is it on your phone?

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:58

No. I mean, you can YouTube it. Are you wanting to watch it live or what? Yeah. It's no, it's like 30 minutes. Oh, yeah, it's not, it's not a quick one. It goes 30. It goes from my first the first contact with me all the way till the jail. How are they able to get this video? That's exactly it. So it's a public record. Okay. Somebody's that's what I'm saying. You submitted for you had to know me, my past, the county that it happened in, right? Like you had to know me enough to not just randomly like this seems like an interesting guy to check out. Like, no, you had to know I got arrested and have a you know, have a past.

SPEAKER_02: 1:21:34

So the link that was sent out with you your name.

SPEAKER_00: 1:21:38

I was on a major, you know, like police activity. Okay. Do you know what that is? That's where like all the body cam footage comes out when there's active shootings, or that's like the the one. It was like that, but for like cop exposure activity. Like it's sitting at it might be at two million views. Because it was at one, like within three days. Yeah, dude. So I opened that up.

SPEAKER_02: 1:22:07

Million views in three days. Oh my and here you are changing your life around like holy. In your middle of worship.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22:17

And I clicked on the link. Here's the here's here's the better part, dude. On our church's live stream, people are finding out that I work there, and they're posting it in the live stream comments. Hey, talk about nothing better to do on your Sunday afternoon. They are posting the link, and the media teams having to filter out the delete the things, and our social media coordinators like, hey dude, we got your back. Like, okay, we have our church attorney, like you if you need us like and I'm like, what is going on, dude? So I left, I got in my truck. Here's what the Lord told me. I cried for about 15 seconds, and then the Lord being him, two things pray for the person that exposed you, and Romans 8 28. And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. He said, Watch me flip the script on this, and today might be the day that he does that, like our episode, you know, like if the arrest footage can get over a million views, how much more can God do with a redeemed story? Right? Like, let the let the redeemed of the Lord say so. That's what the scripture says. So, like I love that. I'll take all the hate, I'll take all the weight, I'll take all the comments, all the mail, all the trolls, all the things to defer glory.

SPEAKER_02: 1:23:48

All day.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:49

All day, dude. All day. I got a messy past. Who doesn't? That's the crazy thing. I'm talking like do you know a cop with arrest footage online?

SPEAKER_02: 1:23:58

There's a few that are active. Yeah, that's what we haven't got to yet. You're still an active cop, or well, rehired as a cop, so which is fair. That's the wild chaos part of this. That is the cra that's the only reason I even like was like, oh, I have to talk to this guy is knowing that you got fired as a cop, cleaned your life up, then everything goes viral, which just relights the fire of of humiliation and being humbled all over again, and then to be able to fight through all of the cancel culture and all that everybody that immediately becomes a hater, and then the fact that you fought through all of that and felt this urge to still want to be a cop and to fulfill that and to be actually to live out that that dream of yours. What's the name of this video?

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:53

What's it labeled under? I think it's uh Is it just your name? California cop gets arrested. Or no, it's it's uh what's the title of it? You are a disgrace. That's the title of it. California cop gets arrested.

SPEAKER_02: 1:25:10

That's what you that's your claim to fame, huh?

SPEAKER_00: 1:25:12

You are a disgrace. Ouch. Guess what though? Now I'm under his grace. Absolutely, so it's like bitter. Sticks and stones, you know, like may break what is it? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Yeah, honestly, bro, that saying is a lie. Because words do hurt sometimes. Absolutely they do, and I was hurt, and my wife and I actually had to relive that. Well, we had to live it once and we had to relive it twice.

SPEAKER_02: 1:25:39

Which is horrible. Yeah. Because it takes a lot to like accept the shame, made a mistake. Damn.

SPEAKER_00: 1:25:49

My wife turns into like mama bear. Like she's my wife, but like she will just she gets pissed. Yeah, yeah. You know, and I have to, and I'm the one, like, it's my thing. I should be the most affected. My wife actually is. Always. And I'm the one that's like, hey, it's gonna be okay. Let we need to pray for these people because they're dark and they have nothing better to do. And like they need the love of Christ, just like I did and you did. And so I'm ha I'm finding, you know, the the more we have to deal with this, it's me actually, praise God, getting to display the fruit of the spirit, which is patience and self-control. And like, hey, this is not everyone knows about this, this is not a big deal, you know. But she uh she kicks in and she's like she gets fired up about it, and she uh we've had to live it out once the first time together and then relive it twice. We just touched on the second one, but the third one isn't when I got rehired. So but we were touching on something before that, weren't we? I don't know. There's so much going in my head that I that is fascinating, man.

SPEAKER_02: 1:26:56

So how is your wife taking the second round of this whole entire debacle just out being she I mean she was crying too, like she was just feeling bad for me because what are you gonna do as a wife?

SPEAKER_00: 1:27:09

Like I made the mistake, I owned it, I changed. She's seeing that, she's seeing the fruit of it. She knows that we wouldn't, we probably wouldn't be married if I didn't change because I was just arrogant and I thought nobody could touch me and I was invincible and like I was selfish. So she's seeing, like, oh, this actually changed him for the better. Why are all these people who don't know him saying these things about him? Because my wife's with me every day. These people have no idea who I am, and they're assuming all these things because of the internet and arrest. Like, I get it, and I'll take it, you know. But like, you don't know me. My wife does, so she's getting upset of I know my husband, and he's put in work to change, so much work. He's made so many sacrifices to change. I've said no to a ton of things and people, I've changed my circle. Like, it took a lot of hard work to nobody ever wants to see that though.

SPEAKER_02: 1:28:07

No, nobody nobody wants to see that ever.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:10

I see you as this, you can never get out of that. All you'll ever be. Yep, and that's exactly it, and that's why my mission is literally your past does not define your present. Because just because you once were doesn't mean that you are now. Like people are changed by the power of God. And I'm walking proof of that. And I'm also walking proof that just because you made a mistake doesn't mean that you can't come back ten times better and do it again. Yeah. Do something better and make a comeback. Full, full, full stop.

SPEAKER_02: 1:28:42

So during this time off, I mean, obviously, your church knows who you are. If you're if you are who yourself are.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:47

They know my whole story, that's why I got hired.

SPEAKER_02: 1:28:49

They what?

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:50

They know my whole they knew my whole story, that's why they hired me.

SPEAKER_02: 1:28:53

Yeah. So obviously they're not, I don't want to say cool with it, but they're getting flack because you're any employer that's hiring anybody that goes viral on the internet obviously gets it too, and all the the reviews and live streams and everything else that happened. So are they pretty cool with it? Are they helping you through with this, or were they like, yo, you gotta lay low for a little bit? How did that pan out?

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:12

They're on board, yeah. And I even got to address like staff and different people, like, hey, this is what's going on. You're probably gonna see it. Because I had friends coming out of the woodwork, like, hey dude, saw your thing. So sorry. Love you, bro. Hope you're doing well. Like friends I've I haven't talked to since middle school. Jeez. Yeah, and I'm also getting the trolls that are like, I know this dude, he's been a piece of shit his whole life. Like, not that people that don't even know me that are saying that.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29:39

No, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Random trolls, it'll I dude. I get it every now and then people will say something be like, that's not even true. They don't even know if you're gonna talk shit. Let's let's talk about some some real stuff. Like, I'll give you some fuel if you need it. Yeah, that's one of the things.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:52

It doesn't bug me, but it's always like, you don't even know who like but I have people saying dark things, dude. Like, like, I hope your family suffers. Oh, like, dude, I got arrested for drunk in public. I didn't like murder somebody, like it's a huge mistake, but like, what are you talking about? Why are you dark? You know, like you'd probably beat his wife, yeah. Karma's coming back, like you tainted the badge, you're a POS. Like, I hope you suffer. I hope you never get back. Like, wow, that's that's pretty crazy. You know, you don't even know me, and you felt the need to comment to reach out to me directly. Well, because it's on you, it was only on YouTube. Well, no, that's not true. It was on every platform, it's not true because I have people reaching out on every platform. And my dad saw it on TikTok of all places. Like, what? Like clips of me, dude. They cut it in clips. No, yeah, like I'm talking when I say viral, I'm not like you probably have, and now we're full circle, dude, face to face. Like, I'm that guy. This is what I want to put in my Instagram bio. You're here because I'm that guy.

SPEAKER_02: 1:30:57

I'm that guy.

SPEAKER_00: 1:30:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:30:58

Guilty.

SPEAKER_00: 1:31:01

But people are seeing all this stuff, and I'm getting all this hateful comments, and like I'm having to tell my wife. Well, my wife and I share on Instagram, like, she has access to all the messages, yeah. And she's seeing this stuff, and she's heartbroken, dude. And like, she doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know what to say. Like, how do you how do you walk with your husband through that? People being hateful. When I'm deep, I'm I'm deep into ministry now. I'm teaching every Sunday. Three years later. Yeah, like I'm three years later, it's not that I forgot about it because it's who I am and I preach about it all the time. Why you who why you are who you are today. Exactly. And so the my my the main thing that bothered me um because I I believe that God got glory through it because people actually found me and reached out to me because of seeing it, and we're like, man, praise God for the change. And like, you know, I did get the encouraging ones too. I actually got a speaking engagement off of it too for my buddy who went and preached to a mensch group, which was cool. But the re the main reason that bothers me is because people don't have the full context of who I am. They never did, and they're just spouting off things, and then I was like, and not that I needed to do this, but you know, something in us is like the need to defend yourself. Like, that's not who I am, you know, and you just want to scream that from the mountaintop, and you want to get on the Sean Ryan show and every show, and like, dude, this is who I am now, you know, and you're not gonna believe me because you don't know who I am. That's who I was exactly. That's who I was. I was lost and now I'm found. His name is Christ. Yep. And so that that was the main thing that was bothering me. It wasn't like the hate, it wasn't the dark comments, but it was like, dude, you really you really don't know who I am. Because if you did, you might find Christ. You might open your lens.

SPEAKER_02: 1:32:44

You wouldn't just immediately go to judgment. You'd be like, Who is this dude? Oh well, he actually works at a church. Oh, this happened three years ago. Wow, okay. This guy, hey, good for you, man. You change your life around. Exactly. But instead, us as who we are, just immediately this guy's a pedophile, this guy beats his wife. This you're just like you start reading things on people. You see it when people are talking about right now. People start getting canceled, and you just start reading comments, you're like, none of these people, none of you know who this person is. Yeah, and now it's just but anybody has a voice, that's exactly it, and they're just throwing just crap out. Keyboard warriors, dude. And you just sit there, it's like, I would beat this piece of shit's ass.

SPEAKER_00: 1:33:22

It's like settle down, right? I don't want to fight, nobody wants to fight.

SPEAKER_02: 1:33:27

Like, I'm just I just took a bunch of shit the other day. I got I woke up to hundreds of comments. Um I was like, oh my god, I that's the darkness to the platform sometimes. Same thing though. Well, I wasn't a drunken, it's just so it's just a comment I left, and people it wasn't even anything negative, and people were just they they're just so dumb. Yeah. We have a thing, I think I've mentioned on this podcast a few times, like 99% of the internet are morons. They just they don't watch a full clip, they don't watch, they don't even do any research, they just immediately build an assumption within three seconds. They have you all figured out, where they see one comment, and that's who you are in their mind. And then this the state of our environment or the environment right now that we're in, everything is just so everybody just immediately goes to it. And I'm sitting here like reading these comments, and I'm like scratching my head, like I'm like, what the fuck? People are idiots. They latch on, dude. It's had nothing to do with anything that you guys are claiming that I uh what I'm what I stand for, and then I'm getting the DMs. You're a piece of shit. Oh, you have daughters, you abuse your daughters, and I'm like, What are you talking? Literally left the this kid get slapped, and I was like, Good, because they're all like this kid's such perfect kid. Did you see this? I did, I did. Well, good kids don't just get randomly slapped by an old man. Like, there's a that's all I said. Do better. Like, and they're like, What if your daughters got slapped? I have good kids, they're not getting randomly slapped. If you're a punk ass kid running your mouth in a stadium and you're getting kicked out of the basketball game and you're lipping off some dude, do I support an old man slapping a teenage kid? No, I don't.

SPEAKER_00: 1:35:04

Yeah, you were simply making a uh observation of training and experience.

SPEAKER_02: 1:35:08

Clearly, there's a back a backstory to this group of punks getting escorted out and the kid lipping off and getting slapped. If that was my son and he lipped off to some old man and some old man smacked the shit out of him, first I what did you say to him? Oh, you called him off what caused somebody to put a hand on my child? Now they're like, I'm just sitting there and I just guys slap you. Okay, we're gonna handle it. Oh, well, you beyond, okay, that was a piece of shit. Okay, you deserved it.

unknown: 1:35:40

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02: 1:35:41

You're a teenage boy, you should know. Like, why are you have a mouth that's bad enough to take somebody to that level to slap you? I don't condone it, but if that was my son, people, what if this is your son? Smack the shit out of him if he is acting like that, like you know, but these dude, hundreds of it had like 6,000 likes on it. Like people were supporting it, but it was just you're a pedophile, you're this, and I'm like, how does my comment saying good kids don't just get randomly slapped? Like correlate to that's just the mindset of humans now, of our society, where everybody's like, yeah, I'm gonna leave a comment, I'm gonna DM you, and I'm gonna go to your podcast. This guy's a podcaster and he's beating children. I'm like, have I ever spanked you? Have I ever once spanked you in my life? Like, now I'm now I'm this child abuser rapist, and I'm like, I'm just reading these, like, these people are hilarious. And then to me, where the state that I'm in, I'm like, yeah, the fact that it the fact that it worked and just works so good. They're like, this motherfucker, and I read and I'm like, and I just stroll in time and energy on you. Oh, yeah, that's time. I just left a comment. I just I was just good kids don't get slapped for random reasons, you know, unless somebody's crazy and just walking around smacking children. Okay, it's different, but there's clearly, yeah, dude. So the internet is it's a wild place. It is a that's why children are it's very dark, very, very dark, and that's why children do not belong on it, or in basketball courts and being a little punk ass kids, but okay, so everything goes viral, comes all full circle again. You're reliving all of your failures again from the past. I don't want to say reliving them, but it's just brought back up. Like obviously, when you go through a getting fired and anything happening in a job, you don't you want to move things, you want to move on with your life, and now it's recircling. How all of this comes out after being fired as a cop, going viral, working for the church, and something in you was like, I want to be a cop again.

SPEAKER_00: 1:37:58

No, okay, I never wanted to be a cop again. I don't blame you, and I said I would never be a cop again. Okay, so every person that I ever interacted with would confirm this. I said, I am never going back to law enforcement ever again. It was too humiliating, and also it was like it's my way out, like I don't have to do this anymore. All the stress and darkness and all the stuff of like my own mind was like, I'm gonna preach for the rest of my life and be comfortable.

SPEAKER_02: 1:38:30

Is it common for cops to lose their job and and be able to get it back somewhere else? Or I thought like once your fighter's a cop, like you've you're blacklisted and you're net you're like they wouldn't a department wouldn't even look at you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:38:42

I think it's case by case. I think it is common depending on what the case is. Okay. So, I mean, dude, cops have their stuff. You know, there's a lot of cops that have their stuff. And I won't even touch on it because I'm not I'm a I'm a friend to you. Yeah, I'm a friend to the law enforcement community, and for sure not a fellow.

SPEAKER_02: 1:38:58

They battle, they're they're they're human.

SPEAKER_00: 1:39:00

They're human, they got their skeletons. For sure. And fortunately for them, uh their skeletons aren't blasted on social media that go viral. And so that's the difference between me and them. Okay. Is is my skeleton got blasted, you know? And which is never fun, but which is never fun, but praise God because it gives him glory and I get to share about it. Yeah. Um but I think depending on the case, it's not uncommon for somebody to make a mistake and get hired. With that said, to my last point, I don't know of anybody that has got arrested, it goes viral, and then you're back in the saddle. You know, and again, that's not a flex. I just I don't know of anybody that like has been outed, so to speak, of it going viral, and then you're a cop. Nobody. There probably is some, but I don't know of anybody. And I've never heard of anybody. It wasn't an easy journey, and it also was time and distance. Yeah. But it was also a lot, a lot of sacrifice and change. For sure. And that is the reason why I was given another opportunity in the first place. Okay. Is because people saw that. But backing up to your question or your statement of like, you're going to have a question. You know, what inside of you could be like, I want to be a cop again. I never did. So there might be a lot of people that think, you know, I was just chomping at the bit to when I could get in again. Wasn't the case at all. I had every intention and plan to preach the gospel for the rest of my life, to be in vocational ministry, to be a pastor, to start a church, to preach. That's all I wanted to do. That's what I obsess over. That's what I'm passionate about. That's what I did discipleship the past five years and preached every Sunday to young adults. Like that is my thing.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:41:00

The Lord called me back into law enforcement three times. And when I say that, I don't mean audibly. I mean in my spirit, so confirmed to the point where I felt disobedient staying. The first time I wasn't ready. The second time my marriage wasn't ready. And the third time was absolute confirmation that I had to do this, or else I would be disobedient and not living out what I was preaching.

SPEAKER_02: 1:41:25

How did you, I mean, what were the times? How did you know? You just got this feeling that you kind of wanted to be a cop, or somebody come to you and be like, hey, we have this opportunity. How did it work?

SPEAKER_00: 1:41:33

Nobody approached me ever. Like, that's not nobody's gonna come to me and be like, hey, dude, you want to be a cop again? Ever. Uh he spoke to me the same at the same place within three years. Okay. So our favorite place, um, it's kind of in the Monterey region. We go to the beach every year as a family. Okay, the first year he spoke to me, the the the way I explain it is for as long as I can remember, I never had positive thoughts about law enforcement after I got out. Ever fearful, would get wor anxiety thinking about law enforcement. Like, what if what if I could go back? Nope, never again. Yep, would just shut it down. Like, I was so terrified, humiliated, embarrassed to even think about law enforcement or going back. So that was never a thought in my mind. Yeah. So he calls me back the first time. I actually go, I I get a job offer. I go all the way through oral panels, interviews, lieutenant interview. I get to the chief's interview. I get the job. I withdraw my application.

SPEAKER_03: 1:42:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:41

Because my marriage was not ready. Oh, well, what was wrong with that? We were not healthy. We've just had a baby. I won't dive too deep into this because it's my wife's story, but she, you know, she struggled with postpartum depression. And we yeah, it's huge. It needs to be addressed and resources provided because it's like a real thing.

SPEAKER_04: 1:42:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:43:00

And so we went through that struggle of like we are not ready for a major life change again.

SPEAKER_02: 1:43:05

How long did that last? Because postpartum could be last a while. It's a long time.

SPEAKER_00: 1:43:09

It was uh I would say probably a year of of postpartum. Okay. You know, all in all, of like really struggling with with mental health and postpartum and isolation. And we were out in the boondocks at the time for we lived there for I don't know, two years. Yeah. Um, on a couple acres, but 30 minutes to church, 45 minutes to her family, you know, her parents. So we didn't have community out there. She was alone with the baby. I was going to work at the church every day. She's working from home, going stir crazy, and like I had to make a decision of like, we don't need another life change right now. We're gonna work through this together. And we did, praise God. So I withdrew.

SPEAKER_02: 1:43:55

How did you good good for you to realize hey, I don't have the fact that you're able to process where you were uh in your relationship and knowing, like, hey, if if I do this, this is not a good time. Because I feel most people just they get an opportunity and they get a feeling, and then they're just gonna run with it, and then we'll work things out later. Which in the law enforcement community is probably the worst thing to do if you have body loose ends. Yeah, you have to be tight and healthy on every aspect of children, marriage, health, fitness, everything to be, I feel to be a cop and stay in it and be healthy with it. So the fact that you were able to oh shit, okay, she's going through her battles right now of having a child, I can put this on hold for a little bit. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 1:44:46

So I went through, continued working at the church, and then second time he spoke to me, dude. It's that same same beach, same prayer walk by myself. The Lord spoke to me, you're going back into law enforcement. Like he's prepping my heart for the one thing that I don't want to do. And so I tell my wife, I'm being called back into law enforcement, and I am angry at God at this point because my ministry is popping. Like, like I said, I'm teaching almost every Sunday to our young adults. I'm traveling and preaching, I'm doing some conferences, like it's just now kind of getting to be what I wanted it to be and only room for growth. And that's I was so passionate about it. It's all I ever wanted to do. So I'm living out my dream, the beginning stages of my dream. Now you're going back in law enforcement. What? No, I'm not. So I begrudgingly went through this process. Yeah, for lack of a better term, I try not to curse. I'm gonna half out, I half-assed it. And I was mad at God the entire time. I argue with my wife the entire time, projecting blame on her. I was angry with my kids, impatient, um, like just begrudgingly doing it the whole time, saying I was being quote unquote obedient when I was really just not actually following what the Lord was telling me to do, right? With full understanding that he's in control and trusting him. I was like, nah, I don't want to do this, so I'm gonna just do it halfway. And so I get all the way to the Chief's interview, great conversation. I'm opening up front about the whole thing. And they're cool with it. First interview. Okay. Well, after the first interview is an oral panel, and I said, Hey, I just want to be up front. I was arrested for drunk in public, you know, I lost my job five years ago and now I'm here. I passed. So they passed me through that. Okay. That's more of a scoring system, but still you have to pass somebody. Could have given me a zero on like stupidity. But they didn't, so I passed. So I got all the way to Chiefs interview, and like I said, the whole time I'm angry, I don't want to do this. I'm telling my wife I don't want to do this, and I'm trying to like I'm trying to like be noble and like this sense, this false sense of nobility, like, hey, I'm doing this for us, like, but I don't want to, you know, like it kind of this weird like front that I'm doing. And I get an email that I was non-selected, and I gave the biggest sigh of relief. I remember exactly where I was. I was in the sanctuary putting uh you know welcome cards in the seatbacks. Okay, just walking rows, listening to worship music, podcasts, whatever. And I get the email, I'm like, thanks, Lord. Now I'm never gonna do this again. Like I did it, I did it your way, I didn't get selected. See? Ha. I'm not supposed to go back in law enforcement because you didn't let that happen. Well, little to find out, I wasn't ready. My heart wasn't good soil, I wasn't being obedient to the Lord. I was doing what I wanted to do, and I was fronting like I was doing what he wanted to do. Not once did I put my best foot forward to try and like actually want to and be joyful about it and trust in him. So that goes, and I think I am done. I'm not going back in law enforcement. This is done. I gave it my go, like perfect. I get to say that I tried and it didn't work out. Yeah. I go back to the same beach, dude, a year later, and I'm walking on the beach, and I felt so disobedient staying at the church, and I'm thinking about everything that I've done preaching, teaching, being obedient, making sacrifices, saying yes, discipling, you know, 20 to 30 men a week. I have it all in the sense of ministry. And I'm like, am I struggling with discontentment or am I struggling with disobedience? There's a difference.

SPEAKER_03: 1:48:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48:52

And the Lord goes, You're going back to your Egypt for context, because it's very important. Moses murders a man in Egypt. He kills his calling, so to speak. He flees to Midian to become a shepherd. So he runs away from consequences. He never deals with his sin. He never deals with his fear of going back. He never, he never gets a consequence from the Lord. Years later, years, decades later, the Lord shows up in a burning bush. I'm sure you know the story. And he says, You're going back to Egypt, right? To let my people go. When the Lord spoke that over my life, he said, You're going back to your Egypt. Egypt was law enforcement. It's where I killed my calling. Yeah. But what did he go to Egypt for? It was to win God's people back. It was to save souls. So my main mission is not to run and gun and have fun and do all this stuff. This is gonna come and it's yeah, it's great. I'm here to win souls. I'm here to go on mission. I'm I'm in law enforcement to go on mission. So I'm starting to think of this vision like you're calling me back to Egypt. This is too profound for me to even understand right now. What do you mean you're calling me back to Egypt? I don't need to go be a cop for that. I'm doing ministry for that. Now you need to reach the people that aren't coming to church. You need to reach the people that are dark. You need to reach the homeless. You need to reach the troubled youth. You need to reach the divorced families, the brokenness. Guess what? You get to do show up to everybody's worst day and bring light.

SPEAKER_02: 1:50:34

Damn, I love that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:50:35

And I'm like, wait, dude, I want to do that from the pulpit. Like I can preach the gospel and share my story for the rest of my life. Friendship. He's like, no, you're going back to your Egypt, son. And I'm like wrapping my head around it. And because I didn't understand what it meant at first, but after putting it together, I'm like, I have to go back to my Egypt. Because imagine if Moses said no. Yeah. Then Pharaoh would have never let his God's people go. And that's how this all started. That's how you and I came to faith because of one man's obedience, right? Or Abraham's faith. So, like, when that happened, I'm like, if I say no, I like I wasn't scared of what God was going to do through to me. I was more scared of what he wouldn't do through me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:51:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:51:29

So I wasn't afraid of punishment if I said no. My thing at that point, I'm on fire for Christ. I want to do anything for a testimony. I want to do anything for his glory. I want to do anything to bring people to Christ. What if I say no here? Like, what do you have cooking up that's in store for me and others that are going to get to know the love of Christ through my story, through my mission, through me back in law enforcement? What if I say no to this? I wasn't willing to do that. Yeah. So back to the all in at the beginning, what does that look like from the time I gave my life to Christ? It looks like uncomfortable obedience, is how I put it. Sure. So I it's the one area of my life that I actually struggled with fear in is go is the thought of going back to law enforcement. And he knew that. And that's the thing he called me to. So a lot of people think like they're comfortable and cozy and like, oh, I'm in God's will. Maybe the case, may not be. Yeah. So I had to actually go back into law enforcement to fully, fully understand and be equipped in the topic of obedience before I preached it to anybody. Now I can tell you what it's like to do it scared. Oh, for sure. Because I did the whole thing scared. I wasn't at peace with anything other than I knew that God was calling me back into law enforcement. He even he even told me the department, and I went in and told my wife, I'm gonna, I'm with your blessing, I'm going back into law enforcement, and here's the department I'm working for, and I'm there today. Wild. Like I have receipts, I'm not even I can't make this stuff up. Yeah, you can't write this story yourself.

SPEAKER_02: 1:53:09

So now that you're feeling this calling to become a cop again, you go in and now that process I take it was start to finish.

SPEAKER_00: 1:53:22

Process was in in California, your post certificate or your you know your peace officer certificate that you get after the academy, you gotta keep it fresh by being in. So since I had been out for so long and expired. You'd do the academy again? Did not have to do the academy again. I would have never been the academy again. That would have been every god knew that. Like praise the Lord. I was I couldn't, dude. Okay. You know, like we got two kids at this time. I ain't, you know, no spring chicken as far as like two, right? I was the departments can sponsor you. Okay. Which I was, but you're sometimes you're a non-affiliate where you pay your own way. Yeah, yeah. Like, man, kudos to those guys. But um, I had to do a 20-day requalification course. Okay. So this is five days a week, I think it was eight to five. Drove an hour there, an hour back every day to to you know fulfill this requirement. Yep. It was a lot. So it was like it was a six-month academy condensed into 20 days. Got it. And not like the physical grueling part or the demeaning, like you're in the classroom learning. Oh, yeah, that's brutal. And you're doing slow speed driving, you're doing defensive tactics. So it's just a huge refresher. You gotta retain it.

SPEAKER_02: 1:54:38

Death by PowerPoint. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 1:54:41

They make it interesting, they do a great job, the instructors and stuff, but like at the end of the day, it's hard to sit in a classroom like that. Oh, for sure. I'm not built for that. You're not built for that. Got it. So it sucked, but that was a step that I had to take. And so I'm I finished that 20-day requall. I couldn't put in with any departments until I finished because that activated my post. So I couldn't put in for a position with a non-active post. Okay. So I actually had to wait. So all this time, dude, I'm unemployed with two kids. Oh shit. Yeah, because I left the church. Faith, step of faith, step of obedience. God, you figure it out. Because if you're calling me to do this, you're gonna have to figure it out. So we're going through, I finish it, get certificate, get my post reactivated, and I applied to four or five departments. The only one that got back to me was the one that I said I was gonna work for. And there's a whole story with that too.

SPEAKER_03: 1:55:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:55:49

Good buddy of mine is a detective there. Well respected, good cop. Just so happens, a couple years prior when I was in ministry, I won't go into detail, I walked with him through some pretty tough stuff in his life. So I ministered to him, showed that I cared and was like really, really um trying to help fast forward. Hey dude, I'm putting in here. Like here's what it is. And he already knew, he knew my story, everything. Dude, I go uh to my oral board, passed it, I'm waiting for the next step. I'm like, didn't hear anything, didn't hear anything. Come to find out this dude vouched for me so much so that there was like three separate conversations behind closed doors of like he's vouching for me. Like he's he's backing me with his name. Oh no. This dude is a person you want to hire. Yeah, like he's the real deal, he's he's really changed. Like, watch his testimony video. So that's another thing I forgot to mention. After the viral video came out, we did like a kind of a short documentary testimony video where I clipped my arrest footage and entered with that, and then I had like 10 people that I discipled kind of testifying to God's goodness in my life and how I mentored them, so that was cool. But admin watched that and they're like, dang, okay, they had never seen anything like that, yeah. For sure, you know, because most people they're not gonna talk about it, they're very hidden about it, closed about it, and that's fine. Like if you make a mistake, make a mistake, you know. Yeah, yeah. But I would say most people aren't as like open and like, yeah, I really messed up, like it was it was a bad time, and you know, just my vulnerability with it and and humility with it really helped me. So he showed them that. But to back up real quick, after my oral panel, dude, my video leaked again through the department. Damn, so so it is this is the second reliving. No, no, it just leaked again, like it was already out, it's viral, but like it got sent around the department. Like nobody knew who I was going in. Nobody can just like look at me and be like, that's the guy. Okay, but there was intentional sending throughout the department of this is the dude that we're looking at hiring. That's rough, rough, dude. You talk about darkness again. Yeah, I already don't want to go back. I already have paralyzing fear of what are people gonna think about me. They think I'm that guy that they're seeing. How could you not? Like, that's just the human brain in us. Oh, for sure. You're that because I don't know any different. For sure. Especially cops, dude.

SPEAKER_02: 1:58:59

Especially cops.

SPEAKER_00: 1:59:00

So it's like I'm I'm like, oh my gosh. I can't win. It's gonna haunt you. God, you're calling me to this? Yeah, this is what you're calling me to do is go have to deal with this again? Like, haven't I dealt with enough?

SPEAKER_02: 1:59:18

Are you hired by this point?

SPEAKER_00: 1:59:20

No. Oh, this is still in the higher. Your first interview, dude. It's leaking through the apartment. How? Dude, my chief calls me. This is this is after because they sent somebody sent it.

SPEAKER_02: 1:59:32

But who knew you were going trying for that department?

SPEAKER_00: 1:59:36

I'm not gonna talk about that.

SPEAKER_02: 1:59:37

Why? Why?

SPEAKER_00: 1:59:41

Because I can't talk about that.

SPEAKER_02: 1:59:43

Was it your old department?

SPEAKER_00: 1:59:46

No. I can't touch on that. No?

SPEAKER_02: 1:59:54

Give me a hint. I want to know. How did these How did somebody know that you were trying out for that department? I can't, dude. Does it put them on blast? Huh? Does it put them on blast? Yeah, 100%. Who cares? They put you on blast.

SPEAKER_00: 2:00:11

We're friends.

SPEAKER_02: 2:00:13

That's fine. If you're friends, he'll get over it. Or she'll get over it.

SPEAKER_00: 2:00:16

I can't, dude. I can't. For real. You're friends with this person that puts you on blast? Yeah. That's part of the work of God. For sure. So like it's hard not to touch on this.

SPEAKER_02: 2:00:28

Yeah, this is kind of a big part. Not a big part, but.

SPEAKER_00: 2:00:32

Okay. So the person that leaked it, or that I heard leaked it, we went to the academy together.

SPEAKER_02: 2:00:44

The old academ first academy?

SPEAKER_00: 2:00:46

The only academy.

SPEAKER_02: 2:00:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 2:00:47

Yeah. And and at the time didn't didn't like me. I'll just put it that. I'll leave it, I'll leave that there. Okay. We're partners now. That's God shit right there. Dude, it's and we're friends. I love this person.

SPEAKER_02: 2:01:16

Did you know then or did you find out later on?

SPEAKER_00: 2:01:20

I kind of found out through the grapevine and assumed. But it's still not 100% confirmed. So again, I don't I don't have any hard feelings.

SPEAKER_02: 2:01:27

You never had a conversation with him? Why not?

SPEAKER_00: 2:01:31

No point.

SPEAKER_02: 2:01:32

There's a big point.

SPEAKER_00: 2:01:33

Not for me.

SPEAKER_02: 2:01:34

No?

SPEAKER_00: 2:01:35

You just don't want to just clear it? No, because part of the spirit of God working through me is like, if you did it, you did it. If you didn't, you didn't it. I still love you as Christ loves.

SPEAKER_02: 2:01:47

Yeah, for sure. But you could be like.

SPEAKER_00: 2:01:50

So we joke about so we joke about like my stuff. Okay. Right? So like when I tell you God has done a work in my heart and you know the persons, whether they know it or not, like legit, it's such a God thing. So we're now we're partners. And we laugh. No. Okay. We laugh, we joke, we're like, we're friends. Okay. You know, we we we mesh super well together.

SPEAKER_03: 2:02:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 2:02:24

So that's another God thing of how he just he'll flip scripts, right? And especially if I'm showing the fruit of the spirit and like just loving as Christ would, dude. Like I'm I'm putting my head down, I'm working hard, and I'm trying to be the best cop that I can be. And like everyone's seeing that. And so they're seeing that it's real. Like I'm not a I'm not a fraud. I am who I say I am, and I've changed to be this, and it took a lot of years of hard work. Back up during the during the background process. So I get pushed through the backgrounds, and I'm in my podcast studio at the time doing some work on my laptop. And I found out that my background investigator, dude, is a uh the head of security at a major local church in our region.

SPEAKER_03: 2:03:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 2:03:22

So while I'm struggling with all this fear and anxiety, I almost felt like the Lord gently reminded me that he's in control. Because how much more understanding and gentle is that background guy gonna be when I'm in there? Dude, our entire background meeting was me sharing my story and us talking about Christ Jesus. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02: 2:03:41

So you're like, okay, I'm good.

SPEAKER_00: 2:03:43

I'm like, dude, because this dude understands, he understands redemption, he understands. Like, imagine sitting with a hardened dude, and it's like, so like when I say God's hand was in it, yeah, every little detail was him reminding me do not be afraid.

SPEAKER_02: 2:03:57

Yeah. Cause you could have got some just old, disgruntled DQ'd. Yep. No, I'm wasting my time. But instead, you got a believer that just watched and knows and it was so it was like it was profound.

SPEAKER_00: 2:04:11

And then we're nearing my my higher date where I'm getting resworn in, and my chief calls me, and I'm like, I don't like that. And he says, I just want to make you aware that your video has gotten around, and a lot of people have questions and concerns, and some are even challenging your hiring.

SPEAKER_02: 2:04:40

Rightfully so.

SPEAKER_00: 2:04:41

For sure. I get it. And he said, I just want to let you know that I got your back, and all of my admin staff does too.

SPEAKER_02: 2:04:51

You don't hear that very early.

SPEAKER_00: 2:04:54

You know, that's why I want to bring light to that because I'm very grateful that that happened.

SPEAKER_02: 2:05:00

Good for good, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 2:05:02

I like very flipped on what you're typically hearing.

SPEAKER_02: 2:05:04

Yeah, you typically hear. I'm more getting fed the negative side of the the admin for I'm here to bring light. Good. I absolutely're here. So you go in, you're going through this hiring process, the video gets sent through the whole entire department to destroy you again. And instead of your admin doing which I don't want to say which most I feel like would typically do, but in rightfully so for admin, they they need to protect themselves and in that community as law enforcement because there's already so much they're under a magnifying glass as it is. So they're taking a risk hiring a guy that's already been fired as a cop. A thousand percent. Now that video is going internally around, and instead of your admin being like, you know what, let's not even waste our time with this dude. Like, we don't need this because they don't. They probably have a hundred dudes lined up. They're like, Hey, I got your back.

SPEAKER_00: 2:06:00

I got your back, we're good. Yeah. Damn good for them. I'm eternally grateful to my buddy who backed me and was willing to do that and trust me, and like he knew the fruit of my life. And I'm grateful for the admin, dude. Like, you didn't have to take a chance on me. Like you said, there's plenty of other people that could fill that role. But the doors that God opens, no man can shut.

SPEAKER_02: 2:06:35

That's one of my favorite things, phrases.

SPEAKER_00: 2:06:40

When God said I'm going to work at that department, ain't nobody was stopped. Ain't no hater, ain't no troll, ain't no admin, ain't there's nobody that could have stopped the hand of God orchestrating every piece and detail in that process. And it blows me away to even the little the little stuff like admin backing me. Like that means a ton to me. Oh, going in, like there's not very many cops that can say that. But again, like they're not with me every day. So, like, while I appreciate you backing me, and it's absolutely huge to my mental, I'm coming in thinking everyone hates me.

SPEAKER_02: 2:07:23

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 2:07:23

That's hard, dude. Was that the vibe? What here's another story, dude. It gets better. I so when I when he called me, I was just kind of like dumbfounded, and my wife knew something was wrong. And I told her, dude, I went in my room and I just weeped. I turned the lamp on low, I turned the light off the darkness, and I got on my face and I weeped to the Lord because I didn't know what else to do. I'm like, you're calling me back to this place, and this is how I have to enter. Embarrassing again, humiliating again, uncomfortable and terrified again. Like, dude, what are you talking about? Why you just let me preach? And dude, I read uh it's one of the Psalms, and I just read it every single day, and one verse stuck out to me, dude. It says, The Lord will give victory to his anointed. He will give victory to the anointed. And if I am anointed, then that means the Lord's gonna give me victory and that we're gonna win together. So I enter this scared. You know, a lot of people, oh, I had I had peace when I did this and that, and like, no, I didn't, I was scared for sure, you know. And my thing was if you know, if you can't shake the fear, drag it with you. And I had to do that because there was no way that I'm turning back, and also I'm gonna tell my kids that daddy messed up, but God made it right. Yep, and now I'm here, you know? Here's the proof, here's the proof. And so, dude, my first FTO, he's like a year younger than me, not a believer. He's shown me more of the love of Christ than some believers have in my life. Absolutely, phenomenal friend now, was the best FTO that I needed coming into that. Okay, supportive, like caring, compassionate, understanding, just great learning environment, taught me a ton of things, was understanding that I had been on the job before, not for a long time, but like respected me. Like I like it was it was it was again just profound that this guy who doesn't know me and could think of all the things he's hearing. That'd be easy to do. Right, weed this guy out.

SPEAKER_02: 2:10:09

He's like a slight hell.

SPEAKER_00: 2:10:11

Yeah. Not once was I even yelled at in FTL. It was supposed to take me 18 weeks, the full FTO program. I finished in 10. Again, that's not a flex, that's the favor of God.

SPEAKER_01: 2:10:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_00: 2:10:32

And I put my head down, I shut up, and I worked really hard to prove that, dude, I'm not the person you guys see on that screen. Good. I'm here to be your partner, I'm here to make this department a better place. I'm here to not get in people's way, I'm here to not get in your business, I'm here to not judge you, I'm here to be an outlet eventually when you trust me, but I'm here to gain trust from you. That was the biggest thing for me. I want to prove uh I want to be proven to be trustworthy.

SPEAKER_01: 2:11:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 2:11:01

And that takes work. It takes work, dude. And it put it takes putting your head down. And so I feel as though I did that. I can't speak for everyone, but I feel like people have seen that from me. And I take pride in that. I really do. I take pride in like I wasn't gonna come in and be the guy or not be the new guy. Like, I hey, whatever you need, I'll do it. I'll take the paper, I'll do whatever. I'm good with being a new guy. I'm just grateful to be here. Yeah, I don't even care how much I get paid right now. Yeah, I'm not gonna complain about money. So I I really approached it with a really healthy new lens, which my past obviously has a lot to do with that. So there was no entitlement coming from me. Yep, it was strictly humility, and so long story short, my first FTO, they put him with me because they knew that he was the best fit for me to set me up for success, and he did, dude, he set me up for huge success. Awesome. By like week one, day three, we're like BSing, having fun, like listening to music and like talking like friends. Yeah, and he said to me one day, this wasn't until like week two, he said, I just to clear the air, I know you're probably thinking a lot of things, but I haven't watched your video and I don't plan to because I care about who you are today, not who you were then.

SPEAKER_02: 2:12:24

Good for him.

SPEAKER_00: 2:12:25

And dude, it my life, I mean, it's dude, he's just he just set the trick. I'm so thankful for him. Yeah, uh, and he knows that because I've had this, I've had this conversation. I've actually got to share the gospel with him, I've got to share my story with him in the car. So it's like just got the no, not that I know of working on it, working on it, dude. But like I've shown him the love of Christ, and he and whether he knows it or not, he's shown me the love of Christ more than some of my fellow brothers and sisters have. Always, which is like man, God is it's just crazy. He knew I needed that person in that season to set me up for success, and he lined that up for me. That's awesome. And it made my entire training process smooth sailing.

SPEAKER_02: 2:13:14

Good for you. Okay, so you make it through somehow, grace of God. That's how you make it through your FTO. Now you're back out on the street. What's that feel like? I'm not.

SPEAKER_00: 2:13:28

Where are you? I got a specialty assignment. Doing what? School resource officer.

SPEAKER_02: 2:13:34

Really?

SPEAKER_00: 2:13:34

Yeah. So I spent months on the street. Yeah. This assignment came open, and this is what I've always wanted to be to impact youth. So I'm literally doing youth ministry with a gun and badge. In school? On school campuses. So we have 17 campuses uh where I work.

SPEAKER_02: 2:13:51

No kidding.

SPEAKER_00: 2:13:52

Yeah. So I get to be on the front lines for troubled kids, divorced families, some kids that don't have dads. I mean, it's it's it's such a God thing to how I go from doing ministry thinking you're pulling me from ministry, but now I'm doing more ministry than I ever have through your kids. Because I'm outside of the walls of the church and I'm I'm being a light to these kids. You know, I'm showing up for them when nobody else does. Yeah. So it's like that's that is my favorite thing that I get to do. And there's gonna be people like, oh da da, school restarts it. I don't care, dude. The things I've seen, the impact I've been able to have on kids, I would never change a thing.

SPEAKER_02: 2:14:43

God's got a sense of humor, huh?

SPEAKER_00: 2:14:44

He's got such a sense of humor, dude. I get to be the role model that I never had, in the sense of like a man of God. For sure. Who has a gun and badge. This dude loves Christ. Let me hear about that. I'm talking, I get to talk to elementary schools up to high schools, and I get to talk about kids, dude.

SPEAKER_02: 2:15:08

I just had the yeah, it's which is so important because I feel that most cops have with the stigma of cops, it's so bad. It is bad.

SPEAKER_00: 2:15:16

Our entire vision is to build and break barriers between law enforcement and families, especially kids.

SPEAKER_02: 2:15:23

Okay, so I know you're in the school system, but I I've you know, I wanted to ask this question. As a believer of Christ and a cop, how do you look at the people that you're dealing with on a day-to-day? The drugs, the alcohol, the just the crime and these people that are the homelessness. Because I feel a lot of cops over time it chips and chips and chips, and they just become jaded. The same with correctional officers and every everybody in that line of work, they're just ugh dealing with another drug addict. As this man of faith, and you're a believer, and you're here to help and lead. How is that going into these situations? Like, how do you look at this? Look at how do you look at these people that are in the lowest moments of their life, and you as a believer, like how how do you take on these situations?

SPEAKER_00: 2:16:20

Yeah, that's a great question. So like I think back to the foundation of looking and treating everybody as they're made in the image of God, right? Yes, not everybody are children of God.

SPEAKER_03: 2:16:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 2:16:35

But we are made in the image of God. And so to be able to look through the lens at a drug addict or a homeless person or a criminal that I have to arrest and there's consequences, I always stay, like I call it like the dark pit. I always keep the dark pit in my head of what I went through to get to where I am now. So just because I love Christ doesn't mean that you're gonna not get natural consequences. For sure. I only came to Christ because I was placed in handcuffs. So for me, like you're gonna get justice, justice is gonna be served, and you're also gonna get the gospel, and you're gonna have to come to a choice of who is Jesus. So I look at everybody through the lens of how God would look at them. He loves them, he created them in the likeness of his image, right? Knitted them together in their mother's womb. That's really hard. And I and again, I I empathize. I can't say that I understand because I'm still back kind of fresh. Like I empathize with guys who have been on for 10, 20 years and they're they're jaded and they don't like people because we deal with the darkest stuff every day. We deal with the problem people every day, and sometimes they don't change ever. So I empathize with somebody who might say, Well, yeah, it's easy for you to say you're still new. I get that, right? So I'm not trying to say that this is the way to do it and it's easy to keep this throughout your career.

SPEAKER_02: 2:18:08

You don't have it figured out.

SPEAKER_00: 2:18:09

Yeah, and I'll and I and I also want to say this is my goal though, is to continue to look at people through the lens of how God would see them. God's my prayer has always been, God break my heart for the things that break yours. So while some people like you know might joke about it or it would be quote unquote normal for them to see people like strung out on drugs or homeless and just see them kind of as a statistic. My heart breaks, dude. Sure. Like it legit breaks. I I don't I don't talk trash about criminals, I don't talk trash about homeless people. So I operate differently in my patrol car as a believer of Christ because I look at things differently through a spiritual lens. So I understand that people are there's there's wars being waged in people's minds and their bodies and their souls, things that we can't see, right? So the scripture says principalities and powers and darkness. It's not flesh and it's not like they're wrestling and fighting people, like they're talking to themselves, they have demonic thoughts. For sure. There I had a dude that I arrested. He was literally casting down demons by name. By name, calling demons out on me and my family. Yeah, bro. Like dark, yelling, screaming, saying names of demons.

SPEAKER_02: 2:19:40

So he okay, so he this is actually a great question, I feel, because I've had other law enforcement officers on talk about the homeless population and dealing with the mentally ill. And in the comments, there's always this there's always a fight, there's always a battle. Because you'll have certain people that be like These mentally ill, I'm talking drugs, whatever they're battling, is a demon, and then there's this huge other side who's like, oh, they're just drug addicts. How do you feel a lot of these people? Because you're seeing them like you're you're dealing with these people, you're having to talk them off ledges and handle and arrest and move and transport. So you're in the trenches with these people that are battling these. I believe it's a demon. Just because of you, if you truly watch a homeless person or somebody that's battling mental illnesses on the streets, that's not a person. The way that they're acting, they move, the noises that are coming out of them, sad. It's heartbreaking. How do you going back to my question? How do you look at these people? Do you believe it's a demon or is it just an addiction? How do how, as a man of faith, how do you come up come on these situations?

SPEAKER_00: 2:20:56

I would argue that why can't both be true at the same time? Okay. Yeah. And I would go through the example of, say, pornography. It is demonic and you are oppressed and you are addicted, right? So with drugs, it's no different. Porn is a drug. For sure. Right? It's the new age drug, as people would call it. So I think I think both are true at the same time or can be true at the same time. But I believe mental, like mental health issues are 100% real. And I'm talking well, we talked about footholds earlier. Like when people give the devil a foothold, like the scripture says, that's just an opening to an area in your life. Yeah. And that comes through drugs. So I believe the foothold comes first, demonic oppression comes next, and you are now a drug addict because you keep going back for more. And that demon just keeps you craving it. Correct. You're just like or an alcohol or anything else. You're bound. Yeah. Right? And the only thing that's going to set you free is the power of God and the blood of Christ. Now, if you can never understand, comprehend, or nobody shares that with you, and you're too strung out all the time to even comprehend life, that's gonna be really hard for you to grip. Right? So I again, my heart breaks for these people that I've never seen sober. Because they can't they can't get into any clinics. We try and provide resources. The team that deals with them tries to provide resources, we try and provide housing, but it's the old saying, like you can lead a horse to water, you can't make them drink. So it's like at the end of the day, my job is to share love and and display fruit in my life. God's job is to bring salvation to those who believe. So I try not to put so much pressure that I have to go save every homeless peop person in the city while also empathizing with the fact that there are real mental health issues at play. There is real demonic oppression over the region and over homeless people that are strung out on drugs and that are talking to themselves and have mental health crisis. And there are people that from those two things then stems a drug addiction. So I don't I wouldn't even say that they're separate. I think they go hand in hand, just as any other addiction would. Now it's the when you're not seeing it through the lens of if you don't believe in demons, then you know that argument's out the window. Then you're a drug addict. Like, and then that's how people get jaded because they're seeing you as the person is the problem. They're not seeing the spirit behind it that is controlling the movements. Puppet master. Yeah. So, like, you know, let's say you, let's say you pop off at your wife and right, like you're yelling and you're out of character. A healthy marriage would be like, well, I know that's not BAM. Yep. Because that's not how he loves me. That's not how he talks to me. Like that was that was a like that was a demonic attack. It was a demonic attack. 100%. He he won for a second, he doesn't have the victory, but Satan got a hold of you somewhere and trigger foothold that you're letting in or something to that. That's not my bam, you know, like that's what your wife would say. Same thing with these drug addicts. Like, all these people were humans once, probably. Like living in houses, something happened drastic. Like, you know, that's why I have different empathy where I'm like, something happened to get these people homeless. Maybe it was a poor decision and you just turned into a drug addict. Maybe you lost everything because of a divorce, and now you're homeless. You know, I've heard all of it. It still doesn't discount them as humans. For sure. And that's where I come at it of I'll never disrespect a homeless person, a drug addict, a criminal, a suspect. Like I'm not. We could even fight, and like I'm not gonna dis and I've also learned over the the past five years of following Christ, like how to keep my composure, and that's another thing I pride myself on for sure. And I'm just not at the end of the day, I love Christ and I care about my witness too much to tarnish his name, and while I'm not perfect, I do try my best to live a righteous lifestyle, yeah. So the last thing I want to do is be a bad witness to Christ, to where people are pointing at me saying, You follow Christ and you do this. Like, I don't want to do that. Do I do it sometimes? Yeah, because we're all hypocrites sometimes. For sure, you know, but is that my goal? No, and that's why I work really hard on following Christ, obeying Christ, knowing what his word says, doing what it says.

SPEAKER_02: 2:26:05

What as an active duty cop, and you're in the day in and day out of it right now, what's something that you wish civilians understood more about law enforcement?

SPEAKER_00: 2:26:21

I think uh we have a very supportive community. So I think for the the the general public that maybe doesn't like law enforcement or they look at the incidents that are bad or you know, where cops screw up or whatever. I would say that um to work a 10-hour shift or a 12 and a half hour shift and all you see is darkness or you're having to solve everyone's problems, there's a different kind of weight that comes with that. And I would just ask people to to kind of empathize with the fact that like who would you call if you were in trouble? The cops, and it's probably gonna be your worst day. So the fact that we're trying to show up on your worst day and solve a problem, maybe we can't solve it, like we don't have all the answers, and we're also gonna mess up on calls, off duty, on duty, right? We're humans. I think yes, we're held to a higher standard, thousand percent, and we should be, but also we're humans, so like it's the same if you were to put on a uniform and mess up. Yeah, you're hu you're just like me. Yeah, I have training experience and specific to law enforcement, but like if people lose their cool or they say something they shouldn't or do something they shouldn't, had a lapse of judgment. It's like at the end of the day, yes, we're held to a higher standard, but also there's got to be grace for men and women in law enforcement too. And I think if that grace is taken in advantage of, then yes, have your opinion, have your judgment. But I think for the most part, I think most cops want to do right. We want to do good, we want to make an impact, and we want to live healthy lives and successful lives coming home to our families every night. Um so I think the more support that people can give would help law enforcement officers do that. And there's just a different type of weight, especially having a family too. Oh yeah. So sometimes it's hard to separate family from from work, and vice versa. So, you know, all the more reason to like try and understand what cops are going through. I'm not even talking about myself, I'm talking about other people. Like this is why cops commit suicide. It's because they feel like no one hears them, they deal with all the problems of people, then they kind of come home and deal with their own problems and their own marriages, and it's like I can't do it all, and nor should you. Yeah, right. And so I think civilians showing support is huge for cops. Um, and just providing resources and backing law enforcement officers, I think goes a long way. Oh, for sure. But people don't realize that. Um, but then when we're criticized, we're criticized, you know, like we're the worst. So, with that said, just the closing thought on that would be you know, not every cop is built the same. So, like, just because there's a bad apple doesn't mean the whole bunch is spoiled. 100%. And that's common. Like, just because I got arrested doesn't mean every other cop is doing stupid stuff, right? And also, you know, just because I got arrested doesn't mean I'm still that guy. So, yeah, because a cop messes up and goes viral on body cam or whatever does not mean that every cop is bad and out to get you and doing traffic stops illegally and doing all this stuff. It's like that's not the case. You're looking at the very 1%, I heard it put this way. It's like you hear about all the the plane class crashes, right? But you never hear of a plane landing. So you never hear of the good stories, the successful stories, the things that are just normal. You only hear of the negative when the planes crash, right? And not like, oh, that's right. The statistics are drastically higher of planes landing compared to planes crashing. But you only hear about the only things that make the news in the headline and and cause an influx in opinion and rage is when planes crash, right? And those planes being us, you know, people like me. Yep. I made the headline, so all cops must be like this, or Drew must have never changed because he had that one moment. Yeah. And it's like you gotta open your eyes, dude. People change, and God changes people.

SPEAKER_02: 2:31:05

So with change, I guess we'll we'll end on this. There's one message to leave to anybody that has gone through some trials and tribulations in their life, what would be a message that you would like to leave for them?

SPEAKER_00: 2:31:23

It's my main mission, dude. It's uh your past does not define your present. And if you can if you can give yourself the same grace that God gives you and actually accept the love of Christ, I think that's a big hindrance, especially for men. You don't know how to accept love. Right? We're we're good at giving love and like showing love and speaking love languages, and but if you don't know how to s accept love from a brother, because maybe you were trained, is that's weird, that's not manly, then you'll you'll never be able to accept the love of Christ. Because guess what? His is unconditional with no strings attached, no ties. You don't have to do anything, there's no qualifications for it. He loves you as you are. Christ died for us while we were still sinners, it said. Dude, I don't know about you, but I'm not gonna go die for somebody that is betraying me. And we do that every day. So my message is your past is not define your present. And God can do exceedingly and abundantly more than you can ask or think if you would allow him to. And that I've I've seen that play out, and I've seen it play out in many other people's lives, crazier stories than mine. And I'm just I'm very grateful, you know, that he chose me to be saved and loved, and to be able to share my story and the love of Christ. And I've I'm grateful that he gave me boldness. And um, I think if if more men would just understand and accept the love of Christ and obey what he's telling you to do, lives would be changed forever. Your marriage would be changed forever, your kids would be changed forever. And it would change the world. It really would change the world if men would bow down at the feet of Christ. Love it.

SPEAKER_02: 2:33:30

You want to finish with a prayer?

SPEAKER_00: 2:33:31

Yeah, let's do it. Jesus Christ of Nazareth, we love you and we need you desperately. Um, I can feel you in this room, and I thank you for uh just convicting both of our hearts and for bringing us here to do ministry, God, because this is what that is, is ministry. And I pray for the people listening. Um, whenever this drops, there's people from so many backgrounds and faith, and maybe they're thinking, yeah, that doesn't apply to me, or I'm still not going to do it, or there's something hindering them. Maybe it's a father wound, a mother wound, or loneliness, or depression, or anxiety, or a mistake that you made and you feel like you're unqualified for the love of Christ. There's nothing that separates us from the love of God. So I pray that you would remind people of your love, that you would gently um just touch them, Lord. And I pray that you would protect them, give them a sense of peace. I pray that you would restore marriages right now in the name of Jesus, and that you would uh protect children, their eyes and ears from evil and darkness. And I pray that you would cause such a change in people's hearts and lives that they would look and sound and talk and behave differently because of your love and your sacrifice and your grace. So we love you, we thank you, we desperately need you in Jesus' name. Amen. Thanks, bro.

SPEAKER_02: 2:35:03

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 2:35:04

It's a good one.

SPEAKER_02: 2:35:05

It's a great one. Great one. That's a wrap. And cut.