The Good-Years
Husband and wife duo committed to navigating the ups and downs of parenting, marriage, faith and family alongside you. We don't pretend to have all the answers, but what we DO have is a desire for asking hard questions, deep conversation and genuine connection. We are tired of being "tired" and going through life on autopilot- disconnected and disengaged leads to discontentment. Let's commit to living a life awakened.
So here's to authenticity, here's to growth, and here's to embracing The Good Years!
The Good-Years
Episode 001 - Welcome to The Good-Years!
Reach out by sending us a text message! Click here.
Welcome friends to the pilot episode of The Good-Years podcast!
We are kicking things off with a bang- diving head first into some key elements which we feel have impacted our relationship and have helped to elevate our marriage to the next level. We address personal stories/examples, lessons learned in the process, and honest discussion of the good, the bad, the wins, the losses and everything in between.
We are excited to start this new adventure and look forward to sharing our thoughts and perspectives on marriage, parenting, health, relationships faith, & family, as well as bringing you some juicy interviews with some very special guests!
We promise to ask the hard questions and shine some much needed unfiltered light as we tackle life TOGETHER!
Here's to authenticity, here's to growth, here's to embracing... The Good-Years!
-Brent & Linds
We are Brent and Lindsey, Goodyear, husband, and wife duo here to share our unfiltered thoughts on marriage, parenting, faith, family, and everything in between. We promised. I ask the hard questions and share perspective as we navigate life in all its unexpected. Curve ball, field glory. So here's to authenticity, here's to growth and here's to embracing the good years.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):The live Dave. Oh boy. Y. No. Okay. You guys, um, welcome. This is the first episode of. The good years, although this is not the first time. Right. And I've done a podcast together, but this is the first time we've attempted to. Do a joint
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):podcast. So.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Kind of be patient with us as we're, we're learning. How to. Do this and navigate this new, new venture together. It's going to be good. It's going to be fun. It's going to be, it's going to be good. Um, so. Basically, I guess we'll kind of start and talk a little bit
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):about.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Ourselves. Um, So, um, I mean, I'm Lindsay and I'm Brent. Yeah. Um, so we're, we're, we're married. We've been married now for seven years. Yeah, almost seven years, but we've, uh, I go there nine years. Right. We are what friends, what, five years before that? Yeah. So it's. It's adding up pretty quick, babe. It is, I've never dated anyone this long. You're not dating them. We are married. I've never been with him on. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, we've obviously been together. We were, you know, we've been friends for a long time. We're still best friends. We just now have the same last name. Um, but we are parents. We have two children. Our oldest is Jackson and he's three and a half and our youngest is Marlo and she is. Two months, 10 months. We are in the thick of it. We are very tired. I tell people we're just in the we're in the stage of parenting. Littles and just of not really being in control of our own life and our own schedule, but we're still, I mean, we're loving it. We talk, I mean, everyone always complains about how hard parenting is and it is, we have. We definitely have hard moments, but rent and I talk all the time about how much fun we're having and just how lucky we are and how blessed we are with. I've just, I've learned a lot about myself through it so far. Only three and a half years. Oh man. A little nervous. How much more. It's going to be uncovered. Oh, my gosh. A lot of learning, a lot of growth. We all have a lot of fun. Yeah. So we're both. I mean, we're parents were married where we both work or working parents. Um, I'm in the medical field.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):And
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Brent works in the oil field and has been for. Your entire career. 15 years. Yeah. 1215 years now. Yeah. Right. Um, that's kind of just a brief. Spark note version of our life. As you guys continue to listen in to the podcast, I'm sure you'll learn. More about us. Um, but really, you
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):know, I think Brett
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):and I we've, we've talked about doing. A podcast together for a little while now. I think it's always been something we've had a desire to do it. Well, I just find that there's not like, um, One place to go. Where there's. Like really honest. Quality conversation about people who are in our seasonal life. You know what I mean? Um, people with kids. I find like most of everything is just. This picture. Perfect. Like everything's great. And there's a lot of times where
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):people want
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):to know.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):That you know
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):what. I'm having a tough time too. Like we haven't fun, but man, We're struggling to we're like learning. We're literally figuring it out. You're not alone. That's right. You know what I. mean? And we just, like, we just felt like outside of the fact that our last name is Goodyear. We just felt
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like the current,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like the seasonal life that we're in, that these are the good years, like the years that we're going to look back and we're going to miss. All the noise and all the. Um, I guess learning about ourselves and. And who we are as parents now. And.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Um,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I'm going to just show it. Really. We really are in the good years. Our life for sure. So. Uh, we just felt like we wanted to, um, To share the things that we've learned, share the, the wisdom that people have taught us. Um, but also not to like cut you off, but also to, to share things that we're interested in talking about, like you guys moving forward, you're going to hear from both of us, right. We're going to have conversations where it's just Brent and I, but then you're also going to. Hear conversations where, you know, we, we interview other people about topics
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):that we're interested
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):in and conversations with people that, that we've learned a lot from that we feel need, need some kind of platform to share a lot of wisdom. Um, things that have perspectives that have changed our lives. For sure. I know some of the guests that I'm thinking of have really, um, shared some wisdom with me that has totaled that has totally. Changed my perspective on the way that I look at things. Um, you know, ma. I would say my side of the good years. Is going to be, um, somewhat male oriented, you know? I don't, I don't know of another podcast where there's good quality men.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Discussing
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):what good would being a good quality man looks like. And, uh,
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):there's
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):some good quality men out there. Uh, I'm lucky to be friends with. Many of them. And, uh, I'm hoping to be able to introduce them to you guys here. So there'll be some good conversations. Some in-depth conversations, honest conversations. And, uh, hopefully some wisdom that you'll be able to take away from it. So I'm really excited about it. Cause I've been, it's been on my heart to do this for a while. And I just never. Got around to doing it. And then it's just funny that Lindsey
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):found
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):had a big push on her heart to do a podcast that kind of talked about the same thing, but on the girl's side, So now we're going to blend them. And you're already talking about everything. Everything. So it's gonna be good. I'm really, I'm looking forward to it. So. We are recording our first episode of this, um, very uniquely in a unique situation where we're well rested. Um, we are currently overlooking the Florida beaches. It's sunny and 75. We are in a quiet. Now it's amazing. It's so nice. And we're at a quiet. Hondo with no children around. So this is a. Um, It's not the norm, but we're taking advantage of the situation to actually kind of knock out a few podcasts recording. If we're being honest, we prioritize the situation. Right. Exactly right. It didn't just come up. That's right. Oh, something that we really believe in is, um, is making sure that we prioritize time together. And we tried to do it. Well, four weeks ago. But on the way to the Houston airport, we got a flat tire and. We missed our flight. And then not long after that, what a couple an hour or so after the flat tire. Uh, your mom called and was like, Hey, your 10 month old is running fever. So we just distraught. It has a sign that it was time. You know, between the flat tire and missing the flight, the kid with it. A fever. We just took the L and the at home. Uh, the LM a lot of money. So we drove home and then we decided, you know what? We're. Four weeks later, we're going to prioritize a trip and we're going to go take some time at the beach, just her and I. So it's such an
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):important part,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I think, in our marriage, because it does like, honestly, like, and we've talked
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):about
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):this, like, since we've been here, we had more. You know, heartfelt conversations. And like, I was able to talk to Brent more in the first 24 hours of this trip that I've been able to talk to him in the last six weeks, just because of. Uninterrupted. That's right. Just because it, I mean, y'all know if you guys have little kids in your life. Anytime. I try to sit down and talk to Brent. It's interrupted by, you know, mama have to go potty or mom look at this, or, oh, no. Right.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):So
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like we, our conversation throughout the day throughout the week is so interrupted that. Having time. To just reconnect with Brent and, you know, just have adult conversation with him. It's just so few and far between, unless we take time to prioritize it. So we definitely, we try to do. Little like weekend, like reconnection weekend, getaways like this, you know, a few times a year. You know, different circumstances in situations, you know, we don't always hit it a few times a year. Like last year we had Marlowe, so we weren't, you know, it's been probably or survive. We're literally like in survival. We didn't get, I don't think we did a trip until
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):we did like
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):a short weekend or like a two day thing. I think when she was about six months, but this is the first time that we've gone, like more than two nights away from the kids since she's been born. So obviously different situations of life kind of. Dictate whether or not we're able to do these trips, but overall I think. We try to do one a quarter. Is that the goal that we try to do? At least they get away. It doesn't have to be much like. It's just anything to at least have some time together. Uninterrupted.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):The
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):reason that we prioritize it so much is, uh, this, the structure that, um, that we've been talking about for a really long time. Right. Um, even before we had kids where we were a team, right. With a capital T, we are a team, no matter what. And any time any kids that we have, they are now part of that team. But the only way that the team thrives. Is if the team captains are working together
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):to,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):to make it thrive, right. And the team captains are Lindsay and myself. Right. So if something happens with the connection of the team captains, the team falls apart. It trickles down to. All For sure. So. So a lot of times you hear. Of, um, People have kids and they make the kids the priority.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):But then at
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):that point, The captains aren't being focused on there. Their goals together. It's just, um, the kids are now the main priority. And at that point, the team falls apart. Right, or it's really heartless say it's really hard to keep the team together. But whenever the team captains are on the same page, we can both lead. And at that point, the team goes wherever the team captains decided they want to go right now. I mean, like, let's be real here. And the fact that like, Life happens. And sometimes we get caught in that, just coexisting. Like we get caught. I find that like, you know, life gets busy, we get distracted, you know, and, and that happens where. We get so distracted by everything else happening that we're not able, we aren't acting as team captains. We're allowing all these other things to dictate it. And so that's why taking time to like, do trips like this going on date nights. It allows us to then. Refocused reconnect and like let's.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Because
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):we it's impossible. Just. In the busy-ness and how distracted you can get in life. I feel like to just constantly. I get it right all the time. Right? Like let's acknowledge the. We're definitely not. We. Perfect. Sure. So we, but we realize that. So that's why we prioritize this stuff because it allows us that opportunity to be like, oh, okay. Like, I do like spending time with you and you are my, you know, Why marriage right. You are my best friend. Just the fact that I look at you sometimes when, like you.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):No,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):but I think, I guess. You know, we, we aren't calling. It's not realistic to say that we're
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like, no, we're
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):perfect. Like, yes, always. Super connected. Always hyper Frank. Right. But at the same time, I think. More than most. You and I are focused on the arch. Our structure of our family is. Is very focused where you and I are the team captains. We work together and then everybody else. In our family, Jackson and Morillo. They get on board with the team. Right. And then as they get older, they have contributions to the team. Right. And their contribution to the team might be. Um, taking out the trash or doing like little things. Just to help out around the house and it teaches them. Responsibility, but it also is their contribution to the team. And then. Maybe leading. Um, Like grace. Like blessing the food like Jackson. That's his contribution right now. He prays. Right. It doesn't have to just be chores. Yeah, right.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):But
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):also their contribution to the team has. You know, doing good in school. That's right. You know, um, there there's a lot of other ways that that's gonna be their contribution. You know what I mean? And we're going to learn that as they get older. At this point. It's hard job to stay hyper.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Focused and connected.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):That way we can lead the team together. Because again,
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):the second,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):the team captains aren't focused on each other, the team falls apart. I think that some of that is that, you know, even when we, when we have hard moments in our relationship, right? Like if we were in a disagreement or something, it's like always coming back to you and we'll say this, like, you'll say this to me in a disagreement. And I say it to you sometimes where it's like, we have.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Like we're
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):on the same team. We have the best, like.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Even
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like where. We have the same interest here and at the betterment of our team of our family. Um, and trusting that. Like, I'm not out to get you and you're not out to get me. Yeah. Because that is a big part of it is like trusting that like, okay, we are on the same team. We both had the best interest. I'm not doing something pointedly to just like, get at you. Oh, yeah. And I'll like, we were talking about that the other day. Where like whenever we get into a heated argument, Uh, which. Honestly does not happen. But even let's just take any kind of argument.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):My first
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):desire, like just right off the bat is to lash out, which I think is just a protective thing for me. Right. But I'll have to stop myself and be like, okay. Lindsey wood. Aye. I know Lindsay and I trust her. She would not purposely. Do something, um,
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):personal
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):to me, right? Like they try to hurt me.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):So I have to
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):trust that she has my best interests at heart. And with that, it gives me, uh, a much better perspective on okay. We don't have to, we don't have to get excited about what's going on. You know what I mean or whatever we're talking about. Let's just talk it through. I, I trust. That she's going to keep me safe in this.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):During this
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):conversation, it's not arguments conversation, right? I trust she's going to keep me safe through here and she needs to trust me that I'm going to keep her safe through this, and then we can work it out. You know, and we we've talked about that before. But I think the reason that we can get. To that point. Is because, um, or our foundation was set. Um, Early. Whenever even before we started dating, right. Like, um, Us being friends for like five or six years before we started dating, which I think is an integral part to our success in our marriage so far. Has been the fact that we're, we are
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):best friends.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):You know, Um, and I hear that, you know, side note, I hear it all the time that, uh, from some podcast that your wife should never be your best friend. You know, you'd have guy best friends. Which I agree, like. Halfway. You know, like. You do have to have guy best friends. But if you're, if your ride or die is not your wife. Man, you've got to figure that out. Is that like, Something's missing because I don't know what you would call a best friend, other than someone who is your ride or die.'cause your, your buddies. They're going to be married to all their best friends and whenever they get a chance to do something, they want to spend time with their wife. I'm at the beach right now with my wife.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Spending
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):time with my best friend, right. I'm not at. Some fishing tournament with my buddies where that would've been fun too, but then the connection, the. The continued connection with my wife that I need. I couldn't get doing that. Right.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):So,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):um, there's something to be said for not like, you know, tone, like you, you do need to have. Like other friends, other outlets outside, I think of just. You and I, right, because then you get into like a codependent kind of situation. But.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Let's think
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):at the root. We do so well in our marriage because I truly do. And you truly do. We enjoy spending time with each other. Like we, we have a lot of fun together and if I could choose spending time with you and I love my girlfriends, but if I can choose spending time with you. We're spending time with them.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I'm going to
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):choose you. 99.9% of the time. Now that you've learned to. To shoot pretty well. Uh, during our duck hunt. I'd pretty much want to spend time with you too now. Now that now that you brought that. I'm glad that I'm glad that I met. And we're all in it now. We're on it now. It's good. Like also like, yeah, we. So we had the. The ability just naturally our, how our relationship unfolded. You know, we were, we were friends first, but we under, I mean, like I understand that not everybody has that. The luxury of having like a 10 year friendship before, you know, suddenly they look through the person like, oh, okay. Like this'll work out
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):romantically.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):All of us. You know, not everyone has that luxury, but I think
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):What we feel is super important is that. Establishing and getting an in. Understanding that like, even if you're starting a relationship with somebody that it has to be based off of like a. You have to be friends with them. You have to be able to have a good time with them to enjoy the same things, to have the same interests, like. To, to legit have fun with that person, because if you can't even do that and all you're going into it with is the goal of like, I need to, like, I need to lock someone down in a marriage. Like that's, that's never going to end well, like if I'm going to, if your goal is I'm going to go into this because I want to date someone to marry them, to have kids. And it doesn't matter if I like spending time with them because I have my other friends as backup. Like that's a recipe. If I. For disaster. It's funny you say that. So. Um, this one time before you and I were dating. Uh, I was single.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):And
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I never dated anyone before you, for sure. So I
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):was, I was single.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I was waiting for you. A valid life. Yeah. I was waiting for Lindsey bruv. Um, But no. So I was, uh, where we duck hunt at there. You have to take a boat, right?
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):And
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):there's only a couple of people who hunt out there and everyone takes the same mud boat ditches to get to their camp. Right. Lorena to a. An older gentlemen who haunts out there. Um, and oftentimes when we run into each other, we just turn the boats off. We're out in the middle of the more super peaceful, quiet there's. There's no cars. There's no electricity out there. It's just super quiet. So it's really peaceful. And we were just kind of talking. Well, he asked me. Um, just like randomly, like, man yet, you're not, uh, you're not married or dating or anything yet. You know, I must've been what? 27. Well, why are you looking at me? I don't know. I'm just, I'm just bouncing it off. I just don't remember what I told you. I tell you everything. I think I was probably like 27. I think it was right before. We started dating when you were 2020. Yeah. So I think it was right before we started dating and I remember. He asked me that question, like you're not dating or anything yet. Um, and I just kind of made a joke. I was like, man, I was like, I'm just trying to,
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I'm just waiting
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):on that girl to come to come along where we don't, where she likes to shop and I like to hunt. And then whenever hunt sees it comes around, I can just go hunting. She can go shopping and we're good. And he goes, man. He goes, what you need to find is a woman who does, who loves to do all the same things you love to do. And he's like, the reason is,
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):is because
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):what's going to happen is your buddies are going to find that girl and they're going to take her everywhere. They want to go. So he's like, you never have to ask for permission to go fishing. You know, why. You just take her. You never have to ask for a hunting permission to go hunting. You know, why. You just take her and he's like that way. Y'all are y'all are best friends. Doing it together because he said all your friends going to be doing that with their wives. And then you're going to be stuck by yourself, fishing by yourself, hunting by yourself, playing golf by yourself. And like, I look back now and I was like, Like that was such profound wisdom because like, honestly, I wasn't. I wouldn't say, like I had. I wouldn't definitely, wouldn't say I had a tight, you know, because I was very open. To like different types of women. But that little nuance. Of
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like what
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):to look, what to look for. Right. Was such good wisdom. So then when you came along, what was like our first time hanging out was what we did.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Um,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):well, first time you came to the beach, the second time you asked me to go to the March with you. To go out. You can take measurements on. But we went for a ride in your marsh. And I was open to it. I can remember. I was literally that you'd pick me up. I had finished the shift at work, so I was in my scrubs. And we took the Gator tail. And for those of you that don't know we live in south Louisiana. So that's why you're in here. A lot of references to like hunting and fishing and just like, I mean, we literally live in like what they call sportsman paradise. So like, This is a, it's a thing in our, in our, we had a good time. We just went out to the Morris. We had a really good time. And, um, it was just fun. I enjoyed being in a place
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):that
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I love to be. With someone
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):was like, no, I'll call like
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):this
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):girl. What I mean. Uh, and it's to share your passions with other people. That's right. That's what you want is you wants to meet. Things that you love to do. I want, I would hope that you would invite me to go do those things with you, you know? Even though I might hate. Going to a Broadway show, but I can appreciate. Yeah. Someone who can sing well. Things like that. It was you, you would go to those things because you genuinely love spending time with me. And we have fun, no matter what we go to. And I knew it makes it would make you happy. And that's my overall goal would be, you know, to see you happy and whenever you're having a good time, I'm having a good time. Yeah, but it was, it was really profound wisdom that that man shared with me. So it was just that I really hadn't. Thought of hard before. But if you'd have told me to choose how to be like, well, I want someone who doesn't like to do what I like to do that way. I can go do my. Go do her thing, right.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):But
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):then we're not operating as a unit. Right, right. And operating as a team. We're hoping as something said, You're literally just coexisting.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Living two
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):separate lives at that point. You're not sharing interests. With each other. So because of that. Um, That moment in the mud boat ditch, where we had our post tied up and we were just hanging out. Like that really changed my perspective. What to look for, and then not long after, have you ever told him that you. You need to. I think the wisdom came from. A man who had been divorced and who has remarried. And I think the second person he married was she goes out to the washroom and enjoys it with him now. So. We'll say like another thing we were talking about trust and our marriage. You know, and so it's based off of the fact that. You know, we've been friends and all that, but another thing I feel like Britain, I do. We work really hard on and we do exceptionally well as a couple. We have. We communicate very well. With each other. And I feel like that. You know, even at the beginning of our relationship, You know, as we were, as we were building that trust, right? Like trust is not something that we just jumped into at this point. You know, we didn't jump into our relationship automatically being trusting people. Well, um, I'm a little bit more trusting in general, but I think that like, that's like a, we built that trust over time and that was built off of. The backbone of
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):communicating. You
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):know, insecurities, communicating doubt, communicating fear that when those things presented themselves in our relationship, as we were like navigating the early stages of our relationship together, We were super open about it. Right? Like we didn't hide it under this like rock of shame of like, oh, okay. I'm having. I'm having. Doubts that. You're not answering your phone. So I'm having doubts on where are you? Like, why aren't are you avoiding me? Aren't you answering this? You remember, like, We both had some, like, a little bit of baggage that we carry into our relationship, right? Like past, past experiences that, that were. We'll say we're fresh, but they were like somewhat influenced the way that we interact for sure. Right. And I remember there. Again, that wasn't an opportunity for me to gain some wisdom before you and I started dating. And one of them was, um, if you remember, cause we haven't had to do this in a long time. But there was this thing that we called the LA. Right. And capital T capital L online. A lie and the lie was exactly this. And I think, I think this catches people all the time because they're not aware of it. And if you're not aware of it, you can't recognize. In the lie was as simple as this, um, when we first started dating. Um,
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Lindsey would
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):be like at work or something, not just be busy, doing whatever I was doing. Right. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere into my mind came a question and the question was. What's Lindsay doing right now. And I remember like being in life. What. Like, I wasn't even thinking about Lindsay, but all of a sudden there was this thing that came into my mind that tried to create doubt. On what, what was Lindsey doing? And I knew. That just because I, I had heard that before I was aware of it. I knew that that was just a lie that came into my mind. And you can say it came from the devil, it came from the world, some bad energy, whatever you want to say. Right. But I just knew that it was a lie. But you didn't know that yet. So I remember it got. it, got to a point where I was like, okay. When you hear that question.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):That just
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):comes out of nowhere. You call me. And I will tell you exactly what I'm doing, because there's nothing that I'm doing. That is going to jeopardize this team for sure. Nothing, because you and I are both working in the same direction. As long as one of us, doesn't do something to jeopardize a team we're going to win. So I was like, you call me and I can remember you calling me being like, Hey. I just need to know what you're doing right now. That'd be like, yeah, sure. Look, I'm in Lafayette. Um, At work right now, I'm at my office. Um, you know, um, this is what I'm working on and some people would, could throw that up as to like, um, Paranoia. Yeah. Yeah. We, I knew what it was and that it just would take a few times of us doing that. Before we, we trust each other because you know, I personally believe the devil tries to like your, your, our team's building a house. Right. And when you ask a question like that, And you don't address it. That's a brick.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Poked
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):out. Of the foundation of the home that you're trying to build. Right. But after a while, When there's a hundred bricks missing, right? So now you have. Your home is starting to look pretty shaky. You know what I mean? So it's, it's those things that we address that we were wise enough to address early and now it doesn't affect us into our marriage. Or even now we're finding that like, I mean, I did it a few weeks ago where like, I
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):was
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):it's to me, it's about like, the communication is like I'm talking through. My thought process with you.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Even
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):if it's hard and even if it's awkward and even if it's uncomfortable. So like the other day, a few weeks ago, I was struggling internally with a situation where I was like going back and forth on being very upset and very frustrated with you. And instead of like, just letting it mole over and fester in Bern into this like big. Like forest fire of emotions. I literally called you. And said, okay, this is what I'm struggling with right now. I just need you to, to hear me out. I need. I want to talk it through. I want some feedback, you know, this is, this is where my heart is. This is where my head is, you know, and, and, and. And we've done that because in the past, like I've not always done that. Like there has been times and I feel like that's when you blow up in a relationship is when you don't communicate things and you allow that little like Ember of bitterness to, just to just fester in that Amber just kind of grows and it burns and it builds into this big fire. And it's a lot easier to put out a small fire. Than it is to put out a big fire. It's when you make assumptions, right. If you don't. If you don't ask intently, then you make assumptions and there's a lot of. Uh, misunderstandings and assumptions, right? So like, um, I think you were, you had asked him something like, well, Um, I need you to explain to me like what you meant by that. Which was a really good question. Because if you just assume that you understand what I'm in. Then your mind's gonna make it up to be whatever. Right. So, um, like I use that in my daily life because, um, my background is sales business development, and whenever I'm talking to customers, I can't assume I know what they mean. Right. I have to literally say, what do you mean by that?
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):And they have
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):to tell me something that's incredibly clear and concise. And if they don't, I would say like, elaborate some more, like help me understand what you mean. And that's the only way that I can get a true understanding of where they're at, what they mean, but that's a good tool that we use in our own relationship is, is tell me exactly what you mean by that. And we don't mean it in a. Like, what does that mean? You know, it's, it's more of like, Hey. I want to make sure I understand exactly where you're coming from or, Hey, I want to make sure I understand. Exactly the intent that you meant for that. And then once I, once I would explain it, almost Lindsey would explain it. And we would realize, well, they didn't mean that in any other way, then.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Then. Applying
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):the way our, Hey, this is very direct. On what I meant, and then being direct as okay. You know, cause you know that there's, if you trust your spouse, you know, there's love behind it. It's very direct, which can be hard for people to hear. But if you know that if you trust. That they're not trying to hurt you. Then you don't take it personal. And then at that point, you can actually communicate really well. Honestly, like we land. And that's learned. I think that it is learned over time and it's, it's again, it's building, it's like all of this, like you said, the house analogy was really good because all of these things, the communication, the trust. You know, all of that is building is built upon each other. Like if you continue to have to lean into hard conversations, right. Cause you, and I think are good at that. Like yeah. A lot. I know a lot of couples and I've talked to a lot of people like our friends that they just flat out avoid conversations because it's going to be hard and it's going to be difficult and they just don't want to do it. So instead of. Of having it in leaning into the hard conversation and knowledging, like this is going to suck. I'm going to get emotional. We're probably, you know, it's just not going to be a fun discussion. It's just swept under the rug and it's just there just, it just kicks the can down the road until it eventually blows up into a big thing where they do that. It's not a fear. Right? It's out of fear and you can't let fear run a marriage. It has to be.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):It has
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):to be absolute all in trust. Knowing that whenever we're going to have this conversation. Yeah. It might be. It might be a little complicated. It might be a little tough. But we both know our goal is the same, right. Are are always say this, our goal is aligned. We have the exact same goal. I want you to win and I want to win. The same team because we're on the same team and there's no other situation that I'm
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):interested in.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Then a win-win situation. If I win and you lose. It's not a winning situation for our team. I tell it to clients too. I'm like, we're all on the same team. Right? If we win and you guys win, we all win. We all look great. Right. And that's what, that's what I want in our marriage for win-win situation, because. But who's away. Boeing has a song and it says, um, How's it go. It says,
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):um,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Um, a battle. About a one. If he's supposed to be talking from his perspective. At a one, like the things. I think it starts off saying like the things. I do to prove I'm right. Break her heart just to watch her cry, leave her standing on an island all alone. You know, And it ends with a battle. One is a vowel loss, right? Even though he won, right. He really lost. He lost the.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):The
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):war. Yeah. He won the battle. Like he proved he was right, but at what expense kind of thing. That's right now. And another thing, I find that
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like, When
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):it comes to confrontation and hard conversations like.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):When we.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):It's twofold, right? Like things need that. We need to protect our team. And you're really good about saying this and the fact that like, if I have a problem with you and I have an issue with you. I need to call you. I don't need to call. With with, with outliers in this element, we're going to talk about that in a second, but like overall, the overarching, like the main, like, if I have an issue with you, I need to call you and talk to you directly. I don't need to call my best friend in. And bitch about you. Timid ass friend. Like I need to call you and say, look, this is what I'm frustrated with with you. That's right.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):This
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):is the issue that I'm struggling. Right. Because it's between you and I, it's not between you and me and my third party extension that it's just going to, you know, sit because I need to, and you say this very well. It's like, I need to always. We're protecting the team. I need to put you in a good light for other people. Well, if I go to my, if I go to my best friend all the time and I'm like, bro, listen. Listen to what Lindsay's saying, like, tell me if this makes sense. Well, that person is eventually going to look at you, not in the Mo in the. Brightest crazy wife, some crazy woman. But I'm not doing a good job protecting us. Right. So, and this from an ex girlfriend. Uh, it was an invaluable lesson. And the lesson is, you know, If I'm having an issue. I don't go to my friends with it. Right. I'll go to my wife with it. And if I can't, if we can't solve it together, then that's. I go to. That's what I was going to say incredibly wise counsel. Right. Which is a very few select people. Like one, maybe two. Right wise counsel mentors,
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):counselors.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Like those are, there are certain, I mean, like, Pete. Those are the extremes in this situation. And when you go to them, it's not to make your significant other look bad. It's. Hey. This is, this is where we're at. Here's the honest to God truth, both sides of the story. Third party, unbiased opinion. That's not, here's my side of the story. She she's wrong or looking at what she's doing to her that I'm writing. It's basically used to be like, Hey, I haven't, I haven't honest. Um, I haven't. An honest. Um, well, like it needs to be a person to get this worked out, whether I'm right or I'm wrong, like.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):The
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):ego has to be gone. And that's the hardest part for. From men. That is the hardest part. I'm sure it's for women too. But for guys for sure. It's hard to let go of that ego, but that's the only, the only time that you can be sincere is you have to surrender that ego. Surrender it. Right. And I feel like we talk about death to the ego a lot or death to self. Right. And I feel like a big part of that is like, as you become like faith as a whole. I mean, we've always run. I've always had a good relationship, but I feel like the deeper that we've. We have dove into like our faith. Has by default.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Like. Put back
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):into our marriage and made it to where, because then it's. Like I've had. Instances. I mean, even in the past.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Few
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):months, like, as I've gotten deeper into my, my faith and into my relationship with God where like, I have.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Made
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):a comment to Brent or won an argument or want to discussion with Brent where like, in my mind, I'm like, oh yeah. I proved my point. Like I won that and then literally like in stopped. It literally happened a few weeks ago where I was. I was kind of almost like gloating about the fact that I had proven my point. Right. And. This is always
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):just
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):like all her things she wanted, but really. Let me make my point.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):I
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):was in my mind, had. Proven my point and was like, oh yeah, he learned like, I showed him kind of situation. And then all of a sudden, like my direction completely like kind of took a 180 and it was something, you know, if we want to call it, God, you want to call it the holy spirit. You want to call it whatever you want to call it. I call it the holy spirit basically kind of stopped me in my tracks and was like, you need to go back to your husband because.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):And
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):apologize to him because. This is about a team and you kind of, you know, you pulled him through the mud and this, and you need to, and honestly like, There has been instances in the last few months where I've been humbled. And had to go back and apologize to Brent about something where it was like, you know, I'm sorry, this was not, you know, my intent to, to make you feel this way. You know, I really am feeling like convicted and how I spoke with you, you know, in that. And I feel like. And you've done that too. Like, as you've gotten deeper in your faith, I find that you were. You've always treated me with respect.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Let
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):me, let me kind of lay that groundwork. Like there's never been an instance in our relationship. I don't get that right? Yeah. It's never been an instance in our relationship or like, I haven't felt well loved or protected or honored. Like, I feel like. Since you have. Really. Worked on strengthening your relationship. With God and have become more faithful and have been very. Intentional about the people that you're spending time with and the men that you're, you're
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):allowing
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):you're pouring into and allowing to pour back into you. Right. You've essentially like leveled up the people around you.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):And
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):as a result. I have felt. Honestly more honored and I've almost felt like he was like, put me on like a pedestal of sort and like almost your McQueen you are on of those. I mean for real, like it is like, and it's been like a, it's a, it's not something that I felt was lacking by any means before, but it was almost like. It's like. You took something that was. that was. good and made it even better. Like it just brought our relationship to this like next level, just because of our. I guess, I mean, our relationship. I don't know where I'm going, but I would say like, so for context, I would say. At the. End of 2022. It was never, I can honestly say that. that. I become saved. Right. Um, I'd always. I've always. been a believer that dwindled in my adult years, you know, where my logical mind started really taking over and be like, well, this doesn't make sense. Just doesn't make sense. But there were like little things throughout my life that had happened where I'm like, okay, Something is going on. There's something bigger than me. Or something else that I can't see. That's going on. Right. You know? And then at the end of 2022, Um, You know, Lynn. Well, I mean, we just, we just started saying yes to a few things that put us in.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):in. the right
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):rooms to put me over the edge. Essentially is what happened, right. And. But. The hardest lesson about that. I've had to learn.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):It
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):has been a death to the cell. That is without a doubt, one of the hardest lessons, because. As men. Right. Fellow's talking to us. Okay. As men. Our identity is.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Built
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):on. Is often built on what we can provide. Right? Cause that's, that's where men get their value. You know, women want a man who's capable. Who's obviously financially dug
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):well,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):because that man can provide for her and the family, you know? So we're we're. We mostly get our value from. Our identities. He's built in what we do.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Well, how much
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):money we have, um, Can you provide. Or influence. Yeah. Kind of thing, power that's right. that's right. But all of those things. Or, um, Sensible what's, that's not quite the word I'm looking for when I'm thinking of is more of like it's, that's all about
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):me. You know, which
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):is it's all ego boost. But what you have to learn is that it's not about me. cause your identity. B. Built on. Something that can be stripped away from you because whenever it is stripped away from you, what's left.
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Right.
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):Nothing. And it can't, it can't be built on that. So had, um, Some incredibly wise
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):counsel,
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):one time when I had lost my job. Um, 10 years ago when the oil field was doing really bad. I went through like three or four jobs in the period of like two years, I was really hard for me. And I was like, what? 24, 25. So really getting into learning. Who who was Brent Goodyear, right? Or who is Brent? Good year. And when I lost my job, I was just so deflated. And I was just telling him, I was like, dude, I don't, I don't know what I'm going to do. Like I don't. I don't. know what I do anymore, you know? And he's like, well, Brent. You're you're, you're a salesman. But that's not who you are. That's just what you do. And I was like, what do. you mean? He's like
Input channel 2 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):being
Input channel 1 - Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone):in sales is not who you are. That's just what you do. He's.
