Episode 006 - Women of Faith: An Interview with Lo Weinstein

"Are you willing to follow Him even when you don't understand..."

Lo Weinstein over here dropping some WISDOM on this episode of The Good-years Podcast yall!

Lo- a Woman of God, business owner, mother, wife, entrepreneur, leader, missionary and mentor- joins Lindsey in studio to discuss faith, leadership, family and marriage (and how they all intertwine) and brings a beautifully raw perspective to our discussion (let's just say I lost track of how many times I said "Oh, that's good!" during the recording)

Can't wait for you to hear it!


-Lindsey


To hear more of Lo's wisdom and perspective be sure and follow her on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lo_weinstein/

Transcript

lindsey: 0:00

We are Brent and Lindsey Goodyear, husband and wife duo, here to share our unfiltered thoughts on marriage, parenting, faith, family, and everything in between.

Brent: 0:09

We promise to ask the hard questions and share perspective as we navigate life in all its unexpected curveball filled glory.

lindsey: 0:17

So here's the authenticity, here's to growth, and here's to embracing the Goodyears. And cut! Yes! Masterpiece! Slammed

0:27

it!

lindsey: 0:29

This podcast is sponsored by Great Harvest Bread Company. Oh yes, oh my gosh, their Bayou Bars are the best. I mean, you guys, just picture this like ooey gooey oatmeal bar topped with fruit. It is like the most decadent indulgence, I think, in town. I know, I get them for clients probably a couple of times a week and they go crazy when I bring them in. It pulls them all out of their offices. They love them. Um, and as a bread and carb expert, I can tell you that they have the best fresh baked bread in Lafayette. I'm telling you, it's so good. Um, for every holiday, I'm in charge of bringing the bread because again, I am an expert and I get the potato rolls. I'll get whatever, 20, 30 of them, put them in the oven. Uh, whenever we get where we got to go and, uh, whenever we pull them out, they're gone in no time, they're so good. And, uh, I gotta say, uh, great harvest is owned by probably the most handsome man in Lafayette, Mr. Brian Malonso. He is a stud. So if you, So seriously, on a real note, the people there that work there, they are so kind and so warm and so welcoming when you come in, they really treat you like you're, I mean, just so important as a customer and everything you'd expect from like a, a warm and cozy bakery, like local bakery kind of vibe. So, um, you guys be sure to check them out. Um, if you're local in the area, we highly, highly recommend them. Yep. 854 College Saloon Road in Lafayette. That's it. Tell them we sent you. Yep. The good years. We're live. Yay. All right guys. Um, so this is an episode of the good years. I'm Lindsay and I'm here today with my very good friend, uh, Lo Weinstein. Um, you guys, I'm so excited to have her on the podcast today. She is just such, A wealth of knowledge, you know, she brings so much wisdom to the table and I'm so excited to just have her. Share some of that with y'all today. Welcome to the good years, Lo. Thank you. So happy. Oh, I know. I'm so glad we made this work. Um, you know, Lo is a very busy woman. You got a lot of, you're keeping a lot of plates spinning. You have a lot of hats that you wear. Um, why don't you tell everybody just a little bit about yourself and what you do.

lo: 2:38

So, um, I'm Lo. Um, I'm a mama of two. Um, I own a local mortgage company, so I'm really involved with that. And, um, I also have a local nonprofit that I do a lot with also, um, about myself, I really feel like every time I try to share a little bit about myself, I always find myself coming back that I tell my office that I'm, I'm a lover of God more than anything else. And so. I am a lone officer, but I'm kind of like undercover a lot on like how, uh, this is what God's called me to do in this season. And more than anything, I always want people to know that everything I do, I really try to do it, bringing it back to the gospel and like, The love of God and that's currently the avenue which I share the love of God with the most.

lindsey: 3:28

No, I love that. That's such a good, I mean that's, to use whatever God has called you in whatever season to just be a vessel for Him. And you really truly like, I see that in, in watching you and how you conduct your business and how you raise your family. I mean it really has, you guys, Lowe has been such, um, an inspiration for me personally, both as a mama, as a wife, you know, as, as a, as a woman of God. I mean, you do, I've seen you, you, you lead, I mean, women's groups around town. You've led several Bible studies. I know around like the Lafayette area with like 50 plus women. Um, you know, you're a speaker. I've seen you do events. It really, and you guys to, to watch her in those moments, it really, you can tell that almost like you're not in control in that situation, right? Like you get in front of people and you just are just this vessel. Like it, I see it happening. Even when you're doing like Lowe's in charge of like our little like small group that we have with our women and we have, it's so much fun, but I've already learned so much from you, um, in the best way because I find that you're one of these really genuine people that, um, you challenge the people around you to be better and you level up the people around you. And that's such a gift because you do it so eloquently, you know, and you do it so with such a kind heart. Um, and it's something I really respect about you. Um, I do want, you know, you are this, you know, very powerful woman of God. Um, tell us a little bit, About your testimony if you can. I love that.

lo: 5:05

Yeah. And I love that you started out that way because I think a lot of people, when you see me now, you naturally just think, this is how I've always been. And so, the hard part is that a lot of people only know me from this point forward. They don't know my story from this point back.

lindsey: 5:22

Right.

lo: 5:23

And so, um, I was radically saved at 21. Actually. I gave the li my life to the Lord in the car, in my car on the way home from college. And so a lot of people don't know that. Wow. And um, I didn't really, I guess I kind of grew up in a Christian home, in a Christian household. but it was really one of those things where God was talked about sometimes. And we kind of went to church on big events. Like we were the, we were the family that went sometimes on Easter. Yeah, that was us. That was us. And, um, that's how I grew up. And my mom will tell you now that she only knew God to that degree. So she didn't know how to show me God in a, in a greater degree. So I gave my life to the Lord when I was 21. Um, Actually, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. At that time, I didn't know it was Him. And I was driving in my car, and I heard this voice say, um, I have some stepbrothers, and I heard this voice say, Are you the kind of woman you would want your brothers to bring home? And it was at that point, like, the fear of God really just fell over my heart, and I knew that there was, like, this standard of life to live that God had called me to that I'd never been shown. And that I wasn't living. And so I just remember repenting in my car and crying in my car. And I got back to my roommate in college and I was like, okay, we're going to do this. Right. Like, you know, in your young, I was, we were very naive. I was like, we're gonna, um, go back to the girl who invited you to church. Cause we, there was a friend who constantly invited her to church. And I said, ask her what church she goes to. I want to do this. Like let's really go to church. Like let's really surrender our lives to God. And, um, I've never looked back. So that was really it for me, and I like to tell people I lived completely in darkness and in the world before that, that once I tasted and seen the goodness and the light of God, there was no going back for me. It was literally like a radical transformation for me because there was such a difference and a shift for me.

lindsey: 7:27

That's so, now did you find that there was like, Was there like a catalyst that happened in that car ride? Like not to get like super personal, no, it's too much, but like did something happen ahead of time or it was just like an, like a random day that like you just, you just felt the Holy Spirit.

lo: 7:42

Well, I think there's a lot of things leading up to that. Um, I had grown up in a broken family. A lot of people don't know that about me, but my mom's been married multiple times and she'll tell you her story now. So it's safe for me to share it. And I was adopted several times. So I grew up really constantly without stability or security and constantly kind of everything always changing and me always trying to find my place and never feeling like I fit in or my life was always different than everyone else's around me. So, I had one semester left of college and I was the first one in my family to go to college, much less I'm the first one in my family to graduate college. So I'm, I'm like, I have one semester left. I'm going back. I'm like,

lindsey: 8:28

man,

lo: 8:29

at this point I do, I'm not talking to God, but I'm like, this is it. Like, this is, this is all I have to look forward to. Like my life has been so hard up to this point and there's really like nothing that I can see coming. That just really seems like it's going to be even easier. So I think just like in this stage of like pouring my heart out,

lindsey: 8:49

And uncertainty? Like it was like a period of uncertainty for you?

lo: 8:53

Yeah, and in total darkness, honestly. I'm just like, this just sucks. Like, this just sucks. It's, I thought once I got to college, life would be better for me, right? And it wasn't. It was that, I teach my kids this at home, when we're talking about people, I always tell them, the only thing good about you, Lily Hayes and Abraham, is God. That's it. You're no different than anybody else, except you have God inside of your heart. He is the only thing good about you. So when you're, when other people, when you hear kids come up to you and they say like, that's a bad kid, that's not true.

lindsey: 9:26

Right.

lo: 9:27

The only thing that makes one good is God. Right. And so, God just revealed himself to me, which is so scriptural now. I didn't know it then where it says like, he's constantly pursuing you. And so I think at the very bottom for me of where I'm like, I've done everything that I knew would make me happy. I'm still not happy. Then that's just really where God just spoke to me.

lindsey: 9:51

And I see that so much. I find like in our, in like my spiritual walk. And then other people too, it's like, they, they reach out to all of these like external surface level things that they think are going to like make them happy. Right. Like they think are going to fill this hole and then they leave unsatisfied on the other end of it. I mean, and for somebody like I'm, I'm somebody that's very like success driven that is very like task oriented. And so like I'm the person that like, Oh, okay, once I get this, I'm going to be, I'm going to feel good about myself. I'm going to be happy. Right. And then when I achieve that, right. you know, the success kind of driven person in me is like, Oh, okay, well, I still don't feel super satisfied right now. So obviously I need to just set my goals higher. I need to achieve this. And then once I achieve that higher goal, then I'll be happy. And I'll find that for me, it almost becomes this like, um, like an idol of sorts, right? Like this is like the, the constant like task of I'm checking this off, I'm doing this, I'm accomplishing this, that becomes my fixation. Um, and, but in the end. I don't feel satisfied no matter how much I can accomplish. Um, and I end up a lot of times that's when I end up kind of like going down to that bottom and that necessity of like, okay, God, like I feel so I have no contentment, you know, and I feel like I'm lost and I'm just grasping at straws and it's because he's just trying, he's kind of just sitting back and waiting, like, okay, like you'll come back, you'll figure it out that like, I'm the, I'm what you need. Like I'm what needs to fill that hole. Um, and people have those idols and those things and in multiple different vices, right? Like, you know, whether it's, you know, addictive vices or, you know, you know, extreme things or, or things that can even be good. Like, you know, you know, making money and, and working. Like those things are not necessarily inherently bad things, but if they become what you, what you rest your identity and your, your purpose in, that's when it becomes something that's bad. So I can definitely, um, relate to some of that. For sure. Um, now tell me, now after you got saved, I do want to hear a little bit. I know you've done some mission work, which is, I always think that that's so incredible. That's such a, now was that like shortly after you got saved? Like, cause you had this big radical moment, right? Where you were, you were going in one direction and then totally pivoted in a 180. And then you said like, from that point on, that was it. What led to you ending up, you know, Was it Africa? Is that right? Africa.

lo: 12:26

Yeah. I find that that's kind of my personality in general. I've learned that I am naturally an extremist. Um, it's like once I see it, I'm going after it or once I'm done with it, I'm done with it. Right. Um, I'm never really in between. So I gave my life to the Lord in June of 2010, I believe, June of 2011. It was June of 2011. Um, then in December, I graduated college. My plan was to go to law school. Now, how I became my plan to go to law school is I just remember growing up super, Poor. Mm-Hmm. We were lower middle class. And I remember in these classes they had a stake was like, who? Who makes money? Lawyers done

lindsey: 13:15

Perfect. That's exactly what, no passion. I don't

lo: 13:18

get a four, no four year degree. Right? This is what I'm gonna do. Mm-Hmm. So I gave my life to lawyer in June and God spoke very clearly to me in December when I was graduating, that I was gonna go on to Mission School internationally. So in May of the following year, I moved overseas, um, internationally. And I lived in Mozambique, Africa for 11 weeks.

lindsey: 13:43

Wow.

lo: 13:43

Um, and it was totally life changing for me. And it was there that God really started to Really, one of the things that God told me is that you're going to dig a well of intimacy with me that you're going to drink out of for the rest of your life. Mm. And it was like this time that most people never get and that I've not got sense of where it was like three months of like you're surrounded by 300 other people that are They've forsaken everything for him. Like they've sold their homes they've put their do you see people that are like, you know in their 50s that had worked their whole lives and sold everything and cashed out their 401ks to like Like sell everything to give it to the poor. So you're you're surrounded by like all these quote unquote, like laid down lovers of Jesus. And so it really gave me space as a 21 year old to say, okay, where is God taking me in my life? And what are some things that I've put as part of my path that really have nothing to do with him that I just picked up along the way. And so it really did radically change my life when I lived there. And then I moved from there to, um, the ghetto of Mississippi and we worked with drug dealers and prostitutes and kids in sex trafficking.

lindsey: 14:58

Oh my gosh,

lo: 14:59

and that also just like I'm, like that's when I realized like oh, this is in the states too. This is not just an international issue This is a heart issue, right? Um, these people also in the states don't know christ and these and so many of them had similar stories of mine so that's where i'm like It was very relatable to me that a lot of people that I looked across the table from that were broken and that were on drugs or in prostitution. Some of their stories, which this is where I'll cry, sounded like mine.

lindsey: 15:27

Wow. And like the difference was God. Yeah, just the grace of God that he like

lo: 15:34

rescued me out of it. Right. And the grace of God that I was actually able to surrender it to him and not say like, no, this is so unknown to me. I'm just gonna do what I know and that's go to school and hope that this fulfills a part of me that hasn't been fulfilled yet.

lindsey: 15:51

Right.

lo: 15:51

Um, so that's really where everything changed. Even more so for me. Yeah. Where that was the first time where I felt the forsaking for him, where I'm like, oh, part of this you hear about like, pick up your cross and follow me. But I didn't understand what that meant until then. Where it's like there's gonna be times. I didn't know how much, but there's gonna be a lot of times in my walk where I'm gonna have to forsake something to follow him, and it's gonna be something good. Um, sometimes it's bad, sometimes it is like addiction. Yes, we knew he's gonna ask us to forsake those things, but I didn't know that there was going to be a cost of like forsaking good things in order to follow really what he had called you to do.

lindsey: 16:33

Yeah. And that's such a, that's such a hard lesson. You know, like you said, I'm sure then in the extreme, the extreme sense of it. But even now, like even the Hill call us to, to leave things behind as as wives and moms and where you're like, no, no, this is a good thing. Yeah. Why are you taking this from me? And I think that that's a big thing that people don't understand. Yeah. Like non believers, I'll say, like one of the big questions I feel like you get is like why does God allow bad things to happen? You know, why, why is that, why is this God like not just constantly giving like handing out candy, you know, like this. And, and that's not, I feel like to me, like I have somebody in my life that's like grappling right now with, with faith. Um, we're like, I can tell they really, they want to understand, they want to believe like they really do. And that's like a, that's a question that they keep bringing to the surface is like, okay, why do, why does God allow bad things to happen? Why does God expect or ask me to give up good things in my life? And like, for me, um, It's made me like, okay, how do I answer this? Like, how do I, how do I explain something so big and so grand to somebody that doesn't, that doesn't truly understand? Yeah. And I feel like if there wasn't any, almost if there, if, if good things just continued to happen, right? If, if God never, I say aloud, you know, something bad to happen in our life, then we would almost, I feel like our human nature would almost, like, be like, feel like we didn't need him. Yeah, you forsake

lo: 18:00

him fast.

lindsey: 18:01

Right. Because it's like, Oh, okay. Well, there's no struggle. There, there's no, there's no need for you because my life is just trucking along without any, without any issues. I mean, I don't know if you have any like insight on, on what you tell people in those situations and just like the, the stuff you learn, because that is such a hard one. I'm not to put you on the spot. No, that's good.

lo: 18:21

One of the things that, that God just brought to my remembrance is the scripture of um, the rich man. And, um, we're taught, like, money is the root of all evil, which is not scriptural. It says the love of money is the root of all evil. And it talks about, in the, the scripture, the rich man came to Jesus and he says, Okay, I've done all these things for you, God, uh, or Jesus, now what? And Jesus said, Oh, you have, good job, you know. But, I want you to sell all you have, give it to the poor, and come follow me. And it says, the rich man went away, Very sad because he had many things So that kind of goes back to like the idol thing. We talked about before we started on The grace of god, um Always exposes the heart And in moments like that You're always not going to understand. It's like this new step of Of the true step of faith on like are you willing to follow me even when you don't understand? Um, because that's the true gospel. He says to forsake all others and follow me You And the rich man revealed his heart in that moment that he went away sad because there was a lot of things that he took pride in that were good accolades and, and Jesus was trying to say, but will you forsake them for me?

lindsey: 19:33

Right.

lo: 19:34

And you didn't even explain it to him. He didn't try to

lindsey: 19:36

him to do, to step out in faith,

lo: 19:38

which you understand as a mama, there are times where I'm like, Hey, we're practicing obedience the first time here, because when I tell you to stop, I need you to stop. There could be a car coming or they could not be, but these are why we practice these things. Thanks. So good. So. I would say to that question, because I get it often, that there are a lot of factors that go into that, but I think it's, it's sad that we live in a world that the first thing that we do is question the heart and the intention of God whenever things don't go our way. Um, And I would tell us to reflect on that and that like normally it's a heart issue on my side when I'm like God I'm not doing this anymore. I have done everything Why did you allow this to happen? Usually there's this like sense of entitlement or pride in my own heart that really I'm like, oh, that's the nasty part of me I gotta let go of

lindsey: 20:32

right.

lo: 20:32

Um, and sometimes it's not fair and I would say also too that sin has natural consequences And, um, the sin of you or the sin of those around you still affects you. And we don't sit in that either. We're not taught like, hey, we don't know everything in the word yet. We're progressing in it. So there are going to be things that we do that have natural repercussions and consequences of sin that we're not going to see until later,

lindsey: 20:58

right?

lo: 20:58

This could be one of those moments, or it could be a moment that somebody else did something that now you're paying the consequence of.

lindsey: 21:05

Yeah, you know and I can see the flip side is also true like as you're saying like, you know You have to take a step out in faith sometimes not knowing you know the reason behind it right and that the The flip side is that sometimes in taking that step out in faith God's asking you to do something now and obey him now because if something that's going to come into fruition A year from now. Yeah. Or, or five years from now. Or, and it might have nothing to do with you. Right. And that's ex That's so true. That's exactly

lo: 21:33

right. There been so many times where I'm like, I still have no idea what you were doing there. Right. Like, I still don't know. Yeah. I, I, I don't know if I'll ever know on this side of heaven. Mm-Hmm. But it's, I'm thankful that I was obedient. Right. I think the hard part for people too is, um, which I don't know if we'll get into about not knowing. If it's God or if it's not. Oh, that's a good one. And I think that's where like this, we haven't done a good job teaching people to discern, to discern the voice of God or teaching them how to read their word and how it applies. So people do, you know, walk around a lot in confusion only because they don't know that God really does speak to people. And so sometimes when I tell people I'm like, you know, God told me this, they're like, wait. What does that mean? What does that mean? Right. How does that happen? That's true. What do you, what do you mean God speaks? That's kind of weird

lindsey: 22:26

or, um, And it's not, I think it truly is out of people just don't know. Like they don't understand. Like I, I was raised in a Christian home. I went to a Christian school, you know, and, but that was, you know, we, yeah, we were, we, I was taught to pray. Like I pray to God, you know, that was a respect. That was what you did. Right. But it was, it was. never really, and people would say, okay, well God, you know, I'm going to pray for you or you know, God's going to tell you. But like, that was just something people said. There was really no further conversation about like, no, no, no, this is like an actual two way conversation. It just people, there's no tools, there's no education on like, okay, this is, this is how you do it. How you read scripture, you know, because there's reading scripture to like check the box of, okay, I read my Bible today. So good. And then there's a reading scripture to truly understand and allow it to change you. That's right. Because it's the, it's the living word, right? So it's supposed to like, it's like a feedback mechanism, right? And sometimes, um, a friend of mine actually, like, and this is gonna be coming sooner, but, Brent just did a podcast with Brian, our friend, and Brian made a comment in that podcast, not to like spoil it, but his will come out before this, so it'll be fine. But like he made a comment that like sometimes you're not, sometimes you're gonna read the word and maybe for whatever reason you don't feel as connected that day, and that, and that's fine. But it, it may be that it, You're still gleaming something off of it, even if it's not fully understood by you, or even if it's to just like, it may be that you're just kind of putting seeds in your mind of scripture that the way that you can then recall later when you need it or, or different, you know, it's also the task and the discipline of getting in the word and obeying God and doing that. Um, but it's something that I've struggled with because I, I didn't start praying to God with an, with the intention of hearing back from him. until probably in the last few years, like in the last probably two years or so, I was just praying to God to check my Christian box for the day. You're like, this is what we do, right? You know, I'm just going to thank God, you know, this, this holy being that's sitting on his throne. Like, okay, thank you for all the wonderful things you bless me with. And I meant it, I meant it truly. Like it wasn't anything that was like forced from me. I truly felt. grateful and blessed for all of the things that I have been given in my life, but I wasn't trying to have a relationship. And that that's, I think people really do want to, they just don't even know the first step on what that looks like. So how do you, how do you, Cause I feel like you have, you've taught me a lot on like, just in like in watching you and, and listening to things that you say on, like you, you have this low talk, which is like this group that she has on Facebook and it's wonderful. And she'll kind of just share a little tidbits of wisdom throughout the day. Um, you know, watching some of those, you know, listening to how you speak to your children, just, just literally kind of taking a step back and observing you. I've learned a lot about just what it looks like to have an intentional relationship with God. But for people that don't know how to do it, and people that don't even know, like, okay, I have a Bible, it's sitting on my bedside table, and it's collecting dust, because I don't even know where to start, right? Because it's a, for someone that hasn't read the Bible, that isn't intentional about reading the Bible, it's an intimidating book. Like, you open it up, there's all this, like, you know, big words and things that are, that's hard to apply, or people feel like it's hard to apply to, like, current day situation. And then, Where do they start with it? Like how do people dive into that if they're truly seeking that? I love that question.

lo: 26:06

Um, one of the things as you're saying i'm reminded of Always make sure this is like a little secret that someone told me years years ago Is that before you read your bible first is that you always say God, I pray that you would open my heart to receive it from you I pray that the eyes of my heart would be enlightened to your word And, um, it's alive and it's active, but it's a spiritual life. So if you're not asking God to open your heart to receive, sometimes that's when we get in this little checkbox where we're like, Oh man, I just, I just went through the motions and I forgot to stop. And, you know, I was just unloading on you, but I forgot that you can actually give me wisdom and you can actually bail me out. So I would always say, you always start there with like asking God and, um, actually prayed about this before. And I felt like on the podcast, I was supposed to share to read the book of James. Um, the book of James is five chapters. It's really, really packed with a lot of wisdom. It's one of the last books in the old and the new Testament. And so I would tell people to start there, but I would also remember is that the more you memorize the word, the more God brings it up. And so, um, There are times all throughout my day where I'll be in a situation and a scripture will come to my remembrance, which is what God says. He says, He'll bring it to your remembrance. That's how I know God's speaking to me. So it's not always like, Lo, Like this big booming voice or like this little whisper. Lo, don't do that. It's like, um, you know, God will bring something to remembrance. Yeah. Or even sometimes God, like yesterday I was, I was praying about a situation. My heart was really heavy. Yeah. And, um, my husband has a really good friend named Mitch and God brought a quote that he says to me all the time when my life is hard and people are critical of me. He says the same quote. So I was praying and God brought the quote to my remembrance and I'm like, Oh yeah, this is one of those moments where people always criticize something they don't understand. So I just was reminded by the spirit. I'm like, don't take this personal. And this is a normal part of humans. Um, Who are unrenewed and even me sometimes I can be like that They're just being critical of what they don't understand. So i'd say god speaks to you through the word of god He speaks to you through nature go outside ask god to speak to you show you something And then god speaks to you through other people So i'm always like okay lord if i'm really struggling with something I get in the word and then i'll say like lord Let me have an aha moment with Lindsay. Use Lindsay to speak to me. Like you can, you created, you created her in me, created everything. You can use her to speak to me. Confirm something. And I found like when I started to ask and look, I started to see a lot. But it's when I forget to ask and look that I tend to be like, where were you today? Right. Where were you? And he's like, I Like living room, remember? Wait, did you marry a heart in a Martha world? Yes, yes, yes. So he's like, I've been sitting in the living room waiting on you all day long. You just, you were in a hurry and you passed by, but I've been waiting on you.

lindsey: 29:09

I think that that's, one thing that I, I was thinking as you were talking is that like, I think another thing is, Everyone maybe connects to God or hears God differently. Like you give a few examples, right? You said through other people, through going, you know, sometimes in nature. Um, for me, a big one, and you and I've actually talked about this as like, I feel. Like, I almost kind of like, get more connected spiritually when I listen to praise and worship music before I try to read my bible. Like, I feel like it just kind of like, opens, it clouds, it quiets the like, outside noise, and like, the constant, you know, spinning wheel of my mind of these are all the things I have to do today, right? Well, you know, like, scriptural. I think you had told me that. So I think that's cool. That like,

lo: 29:50

that's how you know like the scripture and God's moving and you might not even know that it's true. Like you enter into his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise.

lindsey: 29:58

Yes.

lo: 29:59

So like you're doing something and you don't even know yet. Right. And then you know now, but it's like, I love that. That it just was

lindsey: 30:05

like, that's naturally like how I like truly connect, but it's hard because a lot of times. Um, I actually learned this lesson. I don't think I've ever told you this story. I learned this lesson like years ago when I was in college. Okay, so I was part of this like college Bible group and we went to listen to this Christian conference. I think it was in Chicago. Brian was actually there with me. Um, and we went and like, I can remember there was like a big conference, you know, all this praise and worship and big speakers. And I'll be honest, like I was in, the, I was in the group, I was in the college group because there was a guy that was in the college group that I was really attracted to. So I probably wasn't there for like the best. I was there because of a hot guy that was there, but Hey, it put me in the right place with the right people. Um, that's right. So went on this, this trip and we were, you know, listening to all that, but I wasn't really getting a lot out of the conference. Right. Because I probably, cause I wasn't there with the right intentions, but also like it, I just wasn't feeling the connection with the speakers or the praise and worship. And I can remember they had like a breakout session. And so like everyone had to break out and like all these people around me, like people are like talking in tongues. People are like just having these like massive like spiritual experiences. Um, And I can remember seeing them and getting like so disappointed in like who I was as a Christian, right? Went outside of the building, okay, started walking around kind of outside. And I'm like crying and I'm upset and I'm praying to God and I'm like, God, I don't understand. Like, why don't you, like, what's wrong with me? Like, why aren't you connecting with me? Why aren't you speaking to me? Like, you're doing all these other people. Like, what, what am I doing wrong here? And I was super upset. And so, a little back story, like, My whole life, anytime I get upset with anything or I'd get overwhelmed in life, I take a drive in the country. Like I would take my car and I go into like the back roads. I end up like lost as all get out, like in the middle of like cane fields and flowers and just, that's just where like I would go to like clear my mind. So that's a little tidbit. So as I'm walking, outside of this convention center, crying to God, just praying like, why aren't you connecting? Like, so frustrated. This girl comes up like out of the blue and she's like, Hey, I feel like God wanted me to draw this for you and give it to you. And she gives me this piece of paper and there's a flower. redrawn on it, like a picture of a flower. And she's like, God wanted me to tell you that he created you to love nature, and he knows that that's where you go to connect with him. I know, right? I mean, like, get the chills. Like, he knows that that's where you go to get connected with him, and that's okay, because that's how he created you, and that's how he loves to connect with you. You don't have to connect with him like all these other people are, because he made you special. And, like, literally, like, I still have the little piece of paper in, like, one of my Bibles that's, like, you know, kind of, like, shelved away, but it, it was just one of those, it was, like, one of the first moments where, like I mean, I didn't even know what to say. Like, I think I hugged her. Just like, I don't think I said anything. I was just so shocked, but it, it just goes to show that like, Sometimes, I mean in life and in this, like we get lost in that comparison, that comparison trap, right? Like, okay, my spiritual walk doesn't look like low spiritual walk, so therefore it's not as good as low spiritual walk. And that's such a lie from like the pit of hell, right? Like truly, like my journey, my testimony, my How I connect and speak with God is gonna be different than yours and it's supposed to be, right? Like I'm not supposed to be this like robot, that like, you know, goes through, okay, well this is, this is how, these are the steps to being a good Christian, and this is how you get to heaven, right? It's supposed to be a relationship, just like my relationship with you as a friend is going to be different than my relationship with other women as friends, just because of like, our two backgrounds coming together, and how, how we interact with each other. And I think that, that is such a good lesson for women, just anyone, to learn in general, that like, you know, comparison is key. really will, it's truly the devil coming in and just trying to plant those seeds of doubt and those lies and those, um, feelings of insecurity to try to like stir up because he has no power other than planting those seeds, right? Like that's what it, that's truly what he's doing. And I feel like, I know that you've said recently, like you and I were talking beforehand that like, you've had on your heart, over the last few months about like God grappling with you and kind of you learning about comparison and struggling with it. So I'd kind of, you talked about it on your low talk the other day and I think it's so relatable because so many people struggle with comparison in any, in multiple different avenues of life. Um, so kind of talk with, so it's a little bit about that, what you're learning, maybe what you've been hearing, you know, as you've been praying.

lo: 35:12

Yeah, I think I love everything that you're saying. And I think, okay. You and I are both the same, like, one of, some of our core values is like authenticity and vulnerability. And so any chance I can get to say, uh, me too, or like, hey, me too, like, I struggle with that too, um, because it's true. People can look at you and they can see the highlight reel, right? And they're like, man, how do I get my life not to Suck. Right. You know, like I remember being there like, yes, look, everything's so perfect for her. Like, you know, her and her husband obviously never fight. She's never yelled at her children and her house is always clean. Look at that counter. Yeah.

lindsey: 35:51

And when, when reality it's like you cleaned off that like four by four spot on the counter, you can feel a little bit of the same. So you can film it and put it on an Insta. So funny.

lo: 36:02

So comparison, it's like, I've been really, really weighing on it and struggling with it, um, for the last few weeks and trying to pray through of like, hearing God say one thing about me, but knowing other people view me different. And then really trying to even the weight of going back and forth, like, I don't know if you've ever had that happen where you're like, They think I should be doing this, but I know you're calling me to do it this way. I understand it's different than they did it and what worked for them worked for them. But you're, you're having me do it differently. Even that comparison, it's like, you know, that can be hard. So, um, I do know that one of the things that God's really been highlighting is the point of comparison is to get your eyes off of him. So you're supposed to have your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and the perfecter of your faith. So if he can get your eyes fixed on you, you're distracted. That's so good. And you're very susceptible to more discouragement. And that's been me lately. Like, I'm like really fighting to be like, Lord, am I doing this wrong? And hearing the Lord say, No, you're doing it right. And me be like, Well, we're in a homeschool movement, right? So I'm like, My kids are homeschooled, but I have a, I have someone who teaches them themselves. And so I'm like, Am I supposed to be the one doing that? Like, you're like,

lindsey: 37:25

you know, you feel like the homeschool community is like shunning you because it's like, well, you're not truly homeschooling because you're not doing it for you. Let me sit

lo: 37:32

down. And so it's just like this weight that you're like, God has called me to workplace ministry right now. You know, like my employees will tell you, Sam and I sat down with, if they're having marriage issues, they sit down with us. If they're having parental issues, they sit down with us. We are, And you know, most people have no one to go to. And so we're, we are, by the grace of God, making a difference there. But it's sometimes you can see all the good God is doing and still wonder if you're doing it right or wrong. And I think that's where you have to have one person who knows what God's called you to do. And when you're really struggling, you go to the Lord and then you go to them and you're like, remind me please.

lindsey: 38:14

Now, do you Do you recommend that that person be your spouse or should it be somebody else? I love my husband. I do not. I

lo: 38:23

do not trust my husband in this avenue. I'm like Sam. I really think I would look good with my head shaved. He's like, you would look so hot. I'm like, no, I wouldn't. Why are you saying that? He's like, well, I just want to support you and I love you. And I think that you'd look beautiful. And I'm like, okay, no, I can't.

lindsey: 38:42

I need someone that's going to give me the

lo: 38:43

hard truth. Okay. Yeah. Then I asked Brian and he's like, no, absolutely not. Never do that. I'm like, okay, thank you. Um, so I don't recommend, I think it can also, um, I'll say this too. It puts a lot of pressure on them, too. I have found, um, if, if Sam comes to me too much for things that need to, he needs to go to a man for, it puts too much pressure on me. And, um, I am his friend, but I'm not his buddy. So I'll tell him that a lot. This is a buddy conversation. Ooh, that's a good way a friend conversation. Uh, Call Brian. Call Britt. Ask them. Get advice from them. Um, which I recently had to force him to do, because there was a, there was a guy that God had told him to call. He was like, how should I have this conversation? I could give him advice, but I wanted to teach him to, to be authentic and vulnerable with a man. So I said, don't ask me. And he called Brian, and Brian told him what to do. And he was like, okay, that's a great idea. And so it just kind of like, extends his network. Where he, he learns that he can have, that other people still show up for him. Um,

lindsey: 39:47

And I feel like as a, even as men or even as women, like I, I will, I'll hear things differently from like a friend, than I will from my spouse sometimes. Like Brent can tell me one thing, and I don't know if it's just, whether it's just like my human nature being like, no, no, no. Like I'm right. You're wrong. Like this is, I want to do it my way. But like, and it's same thing with him. Like I can tell him, Hey, I think you should do this. I think you should do this. I recommend you do this and hits like literally hitting a brick wall sometimes. And then he could go to a guy friend, like, And then the guy recommends the same thing or maybe words it a little differently or says it from like guy to guy like in a guy way of saying it. Where he's just like, hey man up and do this. Yeah. And like they give like a tough love and that's how he receives it. And it's not, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just like, I think sometimes like they have, they're open to hearing suggestions in different ways or like having hard conver different kinds of hard conversations, if that makes sense, with like a friend versus, you know. With your spouse. So Sam will say

lo: 40:49

he's always trying to impress me. Oh, that's a good. That's probably good. Yeah, so that's what it is It's like sometimes if I if he says something and I'm like, no, that's a bad idea. He feels like I didn't impress her And so I'm like that's a lot of weight for me to carry sometimes too because I want to respond Truthfully right while knowing if I respond truthfully the enemy will use it against you, right? So that's where I'm like Go, go ask someone else. You're not trying to impress them. Y'all, y'all are like, you know, you're bros. not the same thing. With me, he wants to super impress me. And I want to impress him. I want him to always think like, wow, you handled that amazing. Oh, look at you. You, you know it all. And so sometimes that's why I can get defensive. And I know that he can too. It's because he's just like, oh man. Yeah. Like

lindsey: 41:38

I dropped the ball here. Oh, that's so good. That's a good way to look at it now. Okay. So you said. Having a confidant that you go to can't be your spouse. Is there anything else that you've, I know we were kind of going through some of those.

lo: 41:51

I say too, one of the things I've really been noticing in this season is, um, seasons change. I think I told you this, is like learning to pivot. Um, you and I are closer in this season. We're, we're similar seasons and there's a lot of new things we're doing. Um, that maybe other people aren't doing. So I need to be able to find someone that's doing things similar to what I'm doing. That's good. So that way we, we can like encourage each other and you don't compare so much. That's

lindsey: 42:21

right.

lo: 42:21

So I'll tell my friends who are stay at home moms who homeschool your best resources, a stay at home mom who homeschools, y'all are going to be able to bounce ideas off of each other and you're not going to feel like you're not doing enough. That's so good. But if you look at me, and you see that I'm in this season of my life, I'm leaving my house at 6 a. m. Um, I'm coming home at four and mine, you know, whatever. Then it can make it be like, Oh man, should I be doing that? Or, you know, is it time for me, baby, is it time for me to go back to work? Are you sure you want me to be home? Right. It can just really cause a lot of like friction. So I say pay attention to that seasons change and it's okay if your resource change in each, in each season.

lindsey: 43:05

And I think that that's why. you know, I find that one thing I've been struggling with, and I think we've talked about this as like truly like kind of having a shift and like the women that I spend time with and like the friends in the circle of people that I, that I give a lot of my energy and my time to lately. And I think it's because I am in a different season and things are shifting. So like the people that I may be connected with and had a lot in common with five years ago are no longer, even though I love them and I want the best for them. There are no longer the people that I can really go to for like, sound wise advice, right? Or having hard conversations. And I feel like there are some people in your life that are, that are meant to be there for the long haul. There are some people in your life that are meant to be there for a season. There are some people in life that you're just like, they'll just touch and go, you know? But I think that I struggle with, cause I'm a, I'm a, I'm a big like social butterfly. I love to spend time with a lot of people. And so like, I, that's a big thing that I feel like God's been working in me is like trying to find the women that are gonna bring out the best in me that are where I'm supposed, that are the women that I'm supposed to have in this season. Right. Um, I think you're one of them, isn't it, honestly. Love that. Thank you. You've, you've kind of become this person in my life over the last probably year where I feel like you and I are kind of in, we're trucking along in the same season, and then. We do things differently sometimes, but overall like are overarching. I know I can go to you or I can look to you for, um, an example. That was just the chair,

lo: 44:42

but I can look to you for that. When I love that. Cause like we're talking about, you know how detrimental it would be to go to someone. Um, I'm going to say other than me, not just, there's plenty of people that you can go to that are like me, but who wasn't going to encourage you and say, Go for it.

lindsey: 44:59

Mm-Hmm.

lo: 45:00

Do the podcast. Scared.

lindsey: 45:01

Mm-Hmm.

lo: 45:02

You don't have to have it all figured out. Right. God has called you. If it's for one person, it's enough. Right. You, you need the people in versus someone who's like, are you sure you can balance all that? Right?

lindsey: 45:13

Yeah. Or are you sure it's gonna be as good as the other people? Right? Yeah. There's already

lo: 45:17

so many podcasts out there, right? Like you have to be very protective of that because. And let's be honest, we're already thinking things like this. I do not need one more person to speak to my doubts. I need someone to speak life to me, that believes in me, that I grab onto their hope and I like let it pull me through. That's right. And it's like in these seasons, especially seasons where you're having a harder time, it's like who are the anchors who are really like saying, Lindsay, you're going to show up anyway. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you're going to give them the very best that you have. Cause you have, you have a lot to give them. We're not shrinking back. We're not bowing out. We're not quitting. It's like you, you need those people. And so as your life changes, and I find as you become more sanctified that the pruning process does happen. And, and no one talks about that. Like, Hey, in winter time, it looks like the tree's bearing no fruit. Everything is being pruned off. Um, that's not fun. But when all the fruit starts to produce, we're going to be thankful that we might have pruned some people back, and we really, we really went

lindsey: 46:23

after where we wanted to go, you know? I, I think that that's, that's so important, because like, in that pruning season, like, who's left, right? Yeah. And those people, You are, I mean like, that's like a common concept, like you're, you're the sum of the people that are surrounding you, right? Like you're, you're going to be, or you can even go biblical and there's a story of the man in the, in the Bible that was healed because of the faith of his friends. So good. Right? I mean, and it wasn't him that did anything. Like these men literally found Jesus and lowered him through the roof. To Jesus to heal their friend and Jesus. And those weren't passive friends. They weren't

lo: 47:00

like, hey, do you want to? Right? They're like We're getting it for you, right? We're gonna do whatever it takes. That's right. And then you can thank me later, right? Yeah, thank me later like,

lindsey: 47:11

you know, I mean it's so true. I mean, I think that that just speaks so this speaks volumes to like just the type of people that you choose to surround yourself with and how important it is. And I do know that that's a big struggle for a lot of women, especially women that are moms, especially that are women that are, like when I was doing Salt and Light previously, that was like the number one thing that women would say. struggled with is feeling like lonely and they didn't have friends in their motherhood. Um, and that, so it's a hard, it's a hard space. And I think that like, you know, social media is a big part of it. You know, people, you know, see things on social media. They think that, I think part of it is that social media, like you end up, getting like a false sense of feeling involved, right? Like you end up seeing people on social media like, Oh, okay, well I know that, I know that low and her family went on a vacation. I saw the photos, you know, I can comment on there and I've made my connection for the day when it really, it's this like very surface level. Yeah. Unauthentic connection. And you can be feeling at

lo: 48:14

home like, no one even cared to ask me about my vacation. That's right. Where are my people at? That's right. Where's my friends?

lindsey: 48:20

I think that that's so important is to like really continue to put effort into the people that are in your life. And that's how you try to prune, right? Yeah. Like that's how you learn that. It's like, okay, like who is putting effort back into me? Who can I, who can I call that's going to meet me for coffee and is willing to listen to my hard moments? Um, not just utilizing this like faceless. tool on social media, right? I mean, social media is such a double edged sword, like there's good things that come from it, obviously, but I do think that that's something that people struggle with is like, finding that friendship, and I wish I had the answer. Like, I kept telling women that when we were doing Salt and Light, they'd be like, Oh, how do you find mom friends? And believe me, like if I had the answer on how to find genuine Real deep connection. I'd be blasting it everywhere. Well, I have two things I'd like

lo: 49:04

to say to that. Yeah, for sure. One thing I would say is don't be afraid to start over.

lindsey: 49:09

Mm hmm.

lo: 49:09

Like if, if you've been hurt in the past, which we all have had friend hurt, like you can't be afraid to start over. And then have courage to reach out. That's a big one, yeah. So I'm like, I tell people even in my low talk, I'm like, if you have no one, please message me. Please message me. And I'll say that on this, like, you know, you and I are like, please, we'll go to coffee with you. Absolutely. It might take a little

lindsey: 49:32

while to get it, like, figured out schedule wise, but we're gonna do it.

lo: 49:35

Yeah, I was gonna say, I have two under two. No wonder it's going so fast. But I would say, like, reach out to somebody. Like, It's like that you want the dream job you got to reach out and you got to take the chance of possibly getting rejected Friendships are no different like reach out see what it takes See if you connect and it's fine If you don't doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or them it just means you didn't connect who else lord Can I connect with right instead of just like can get very discouraging in that and I think that Especially for us like perfectionist recoverers. Yeah, it's like that's not failure. That's actually success like you're trying Failure is just staying put. That's

lindsey: 50:15

so good. That's so good Cuz I do like that's another thing even the comparison because it goes back a lot of comparison I think is so rooted in social media as a whole. Like I said double edged sword, but you compare Marriages you compare homes like you were saying you compare motherhood, you know in Comparison Truly I'd read a quote somewhere and it was like comparison will either make you feel inferior or superior But neither of them. Yeah are Of god, like oh

lo: 50:43

both right. Oh, look at me. I got it all figured out. That's right Look at me. I saw you. It's like it that's how you so that goes back to romans 12 too If I could tell anybody there's a lot of scriptures, but in this season if you're struggling with comparison, it would be Memorized romans 12 too and it's do not be conformed to the patterns of this world You But be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And so it'd be like, just hold your thoughts captive and renew your mind on like, Who does God say I am? That, that has to be truth for me. And I have to just think on that. Because when I think on other things, it really takes me down a, a rabbit hole into depression and anxiety and frustration. And then I don't show up as a good wife or mom or,

lindsey: 51:27

or friend, so. And those thoughts are like, when, it's such a natural human thing to go down the rabbit hole of comparison. I've caught myself doing that, right. I'll see things on social media and it just starts going and all of sudden Just this black hole of, like, You know, frustration and comparison. Yeah, you're like, no

lo: 51:46

more toys in the living room. I saw Sarah's Instagram and she keeps all of her toys, all of her kids toys, so you know what, family? And then you're like, and then your husband's like, whoa, what just happened? You're like, Sarah's husband? So it's just like, this is real life stuff. It is. So it's just like, no, what works for

lindsey: 52:03

me and my family? That's right. And like sometimes literally calling it out in the middle of it. Like I've literally like done this before where like in the middle of that That spiral, that thought spiral, it's like I've stopped what I was doing and whether it's like put on praise and worship or I just start talking to God and be like listen, like I can't pull myself out of this. Like tornado of negativity by myself So like I just start literally trying to divert my thoughts to something else like i'm gonna divert it to god I'm gonna divert it to praise and worship music, you know i'm gonna call a good friend like Like a friend that's gonna uplift me because sometimes you can't get out of those moments, you know, like I That happened the other day. Like I literally, like you texted me, I'm going to tell this story. Cause like I had a moment where I was like, really frustrated, overwhelmed. And you texted me the next morning. And you were like, Hey, you were on my heart to pray for. And it was such a, it was such a good reminder that like, What I should have done is in those moments where I did get overwhelmed and I was lost in negativity and comparison and couldn't pull myself out of it to the point that like I was just, you know, having a breakdown about it. Those are the moments where I should have either called you, called another friend, you know, gone and taken a walk and started praying, whatever I needed to do to pull, to ask for help to pull myself out of that. And I think that that's, that's so important to know that like everyone struggles with this. Everyone has something that they're struggling with. They compare themselves to, whether you're, you know, man, woman, you know, mother, you know, don't have any children. You have some avenue that you compare yourself to, but Well, and it goes back to like, happy

lo: 53:43

people choose to be happy.

lindsey: 53:45

Mm

lo: 53:45

hmm. It's a choice. You choose to be happy. And if you could give any advice after talking about comparison, it would be, Stop it. Quickly. Like, when you see it, identify it and stop it quickly. I'm a loud person. I get vocal. I'm like, Stop that. Oh. Like out loud? Oh yeah. I'm out loud. I'm out loud. I'm like, oh, I see you comparison.

lindsey: 54:05

Mm-Hmm.

lo: 54:06

No, you are not ruining my Saturday morning. Right. I, I know what you're gonna do and I'm a phone a friend person. I'm a hey.'cause if I try to get myself out of it, it takes longer. Oh yeah. And I want it done quicker, so I'm like, Hey, struggling. Give, encourage me. Tell me everything can wait. Lil, everything can wait. I'm like, okay.

lindsey: 54:26

Okay, perfect. That's so good. You're so wise. Thank you. My good advice. But I love it. I think that's so good. Like, that's why I wanted to talk about the comparison. I know you had talked about it because I saw you, like I said, you posted about it and it was like, I felt like God told me like, oh no, this is, this is what we need to talk about because it was, it was such a, it's such a relatable topic. I love that. Um. But look, I mean, we're, we're kind of coming up on an hour already, love. Oh wow. Oh wow. Is there any closing remarks that you want to say? I'm going to kind of start wrapping it up. Anything else that's on your heart?

lo: 54:58

Yeah, I think the closing thing, um, that I hope people get out of this episode is to be gentle to yourself. Um, be harsh with the enemy, but gentle to yourself. Girl, put that on like a bumper sticker or something. Girl, I'm like, that's good, Lord. Thank you. It's cause I think that we're too hard on ourselves in that, um, if we could just be more gentle to ourselves, then it would take us a lot further. So I really hope that's what people get out of this podcast is that you and I don't have it all figured out. We're doing the best we can. Uh, we love the people around us and the desire of our heart is just to add value. It doesn't necessarily mean that we are the best at it or we know everything. Right. We just want to add some value and, and just bring truth to other lives that we currently have that we don't want other people to know they're not alone in.

lindsey: 55:49

That's so good. I mean, and having that sense of community and that feeling of not being alone is just, is so important. Invaluable when it comes to this now, you know for those that want to you know, get in touch with you Maybe they want to reach out to you by getting some coffee How do they contact you on social media, you know, give them your Instagram handle Facebook So I

lo: 56:07

would say Instagram is really easy and so is Facebook low Weinstein That's really it. That's perfect. Okay. Go ahead. Simple. Alright, very good.

lindsey: 56:16

Well, y'all make sure to give her a follow. Um, I mean, I, I think that's it. We're gonna go ahead and wrap it up. Thank you so much. Thank you for, for joining me today. This was such a lovely conversation. I'll definitely be having you back. So just start taking notes on what you wanna talk about next time. Um, all right, you guys. So thank you so much for listening. this is Lindsay Goodyear and this is the Goodyear Podcast. Be sure to follow us on Instagram at the Goodyear. Um, actually it's at the good underscore years. Make sure you put the underscore. and then be sure to follow us on Spotify, Apple podcast, leave us a review, but thanks so much. All right. Bye you guys.