Episode 010, Tending Hearts: An Interview with Charity Philips

Charity Philips is a woman of God, wife, mother, business owner, gardener, homeschool teacher, missionary, and budding homesteader. Most days you can find her with a wildflower in her hair, garden dirt under her fingernails, an eye-crinkling smile on her face, and a beauty that literally shines from within. Charity sits down with us today in the studio to talk about lessons learned in the garden and how they can be applied to faith, motherhood, and life as we know it. 

We went into this conversation with no plans, no topics, and no discussion points and came out on the other side with one of my favorite recordings to date. This episode is chock full of real life examples, practical applications and bumper-sticker worthy nuggets of wisdom that will have you shouting "YES!" as you listen along. 

It's an episode you'll want to reference again and again as Charity leads by example- both in tending gardens and tending hearts. 

Transcript

Lindsey 0:00

We are Brent and Lindsey Goodyear, husband and wife duo, here to share our unfiltered thoughts on marriage, parenting, faith, family, and everything in between.

Brent 0:09

We promise to ask the hard questions and share perspective as we navigate life in all its unexpected curveball filled glory.

Lindsey 0:17

So here's the authenticity, here's to growth, and here's to embracing the Goodyears. And cut! Yes! Masterpiece! Slammed

0:27

it!

Lindsey 0:30

Let's introduce you. Yeah. So guys, this is my friend charity. Um, and she's here joining us on the good years podcast. I've actually had her on. My previous podcast, whenever I was doing, um, the salt and light motherhood podcast and she and I had just a beautiful discussion and it prompted me like when we kind of like rebranded and wanted to kind of do this, it was like, well, of course you're going to join again, just because I had so much fun on our previous conversation and I feel like we just dove into so many different just avenues of life and motherhood and marriage and it was like, okay, well literally let's, let's do this again. So, and honestly, you guys like, Charity is one of my favorite people to do life with. I feel like she and I have like been getting closer and more connected over the last probably two years. Um, and charity is like, I feel like you're like the ying to my yang. Like when I describe people and I describe you to people, I'm like, literally she's like this beautiful, like balance of me and the fact that like, I'm like, Go, go, go. 100 percent like organized to the T. I mean, like struggle with like spontaneity and then charities on this opposite end of the spectrum where she just, you just are so like laissez faire. You take things, you roll with the punches, you handle, you handle just like chaos so beautifully and you take everything with this grain of salt and just, you're just so graceful in how you handle the curve balls that happen in life. And it is something I want to, I envy so bad, but it's such a beautiful, like there are moments where literally, like I feel like I should have the what would charity do instead of what we Jesus do. Cause like I literally, in some situations you'll pop into my mind. And I'm like, okay, how would, how would charity handle this situation? We're going to pray, take a really deep breath. I'm going to go out and like maybe just pray. Play in the garden, even though my garden looks nothing like your garden. I like to try and like get it together. But anyway, welcome back, Charity. Thanks for the podcast. I'm so excited. Um, for those of you that, um, like I said, for don't that don't know you, why don't you go ahead and just tell everybody like, just a little bit about yourself, you know, where you're at, what season of life, your passions, just kind of. Yeah. It was the Sparkle

Charity 2:34

version. So I'm a native Texan that moved here. I've lived here now. Aaron and I will have been married for 10 years in September. So I'll have been here for like a third of my life, which is crazy. Like we've pretty much adopted you at this point. You're from Louisiana. Yes. But I still, I'd be like, where are y'all from? I'm like, well, I'm originally from Texas, but we live in Louisiana. I feel like everyone that's from Texas,

Lindsey 2:54

they just claim it for forever. Like you can be overseas in Europe and you're like, no, no, no. But I'm Texan.

Charity 3:00

Exactly. It is that way. Um, I'm a mama. My husband and I have a 10 acre farm and we own Headkicks, which is a martial arts and fitness gym. So, um, I'm doing less there now than I was when we first opened. Now I'm kind of managing more of our farm and our home, our homeschool. And really I'm just trying to do my best to, life as it comes. And I absolutely love gardening. I really, the Bible has just come alive for me when I started gardening. The Bible is so agricultural when we talk about like, you know, planting seeds and reaping what you sow and all of those things. Like there's, you know, planting the seeds in rocky ground. And like when you've actually planted seeds in fertile soil and rocky ground and all the things like that,

Lindsey 3:48

You understand why, because like in that time period when the Bible was written, that was like literally just part of life. It was part of survival. So it makes sense that like God, like as God was writing the Bible, like through man that he wanted to use. Right. Like, things that were applicable to their life. So that, that really does make sense. Mm hmm. Do you feel like, you know, you said, do you like, you feel like you've gotten deeper into scripture? Do you feel like being outdoors and being in your garden has just like, it's deepened your spirituality? It's, it's a way that you connect with God? Oh, absolutely. Okay.

Charity 4:20

And, um, I heard this perspective a couple months ago, and it, I have all these thoughts inside that sometimes I just don't know how to put words to. And I have, I learned gardening from Jessica Sowards, um, her social media is Roots and Refuge Farm. And she was sharing about how the homestead is like a literal representation of Jesus. And that if you believe that Christ died for you, and that he made a way for you to go to heaven, like, death precedes life every time. And that is, that's what happens on a homestead. That's what happens on a farm. Something has to die for us to live, whether or not you're growing it at home or you're getting it at the grocery store, something has to die for you to live. Even if you're vegan, a vegetarian, that was fertilized with some type of bone meal, blood meal, like that plant's life ended for you to eat it. The plant life. So it literally is like. The gospel in action every single day and I believe that we were made for a garden and My dad said something to me one time that was so profound and I was like, okay dad I was so proud I was in Texas My parents have eight acres and it backs up to a hunting club And I was riding with my dad on a side by side and he was like, it's so peaceful because there's no demons out here And it just kind of struck me. I was thinking like well, that's a odd thing to say And I said, well, what do you mean and he said like the The whole sole purpose of demons is to torment and torture. And they do that with people. Like, why would demons be out here in God's creation? Like this is his glory and this is his creation. There is no one out here to be tormenting or, and he was like, that's why the cities are so heavy. Like when you're in cities, it's full of people. And therefore, people being tormented, struggle and you know, all of these things when you're in nature, like it's just peace.

Lindsey 6:20

That's such good perspective. I've never heard it like that, but that, it makes sense because when you go out in nature, like my husband and I say that all the time when we go, we'll do little like weekend trips and stuff to like the middle of nowhere with no cell service. And we're just, and that's why you feel so just connected and connected and at ease and not You're like way down. Like you're saying, Oh, I love that. And

Charity 6:44

so for me, the garden is that encapsulated in a place. It is walking into creation and seeing nature and even the cycles of nature, like in and of that there's, you know, there's pests and there's predators and we're sharing. If you have a garden that the bugs don't want to eat, I don't want to eat in your garden. It just is a part of life, but it really is when you step into a garden. Something changes and you're like, you're just looking at part of the glory of God. And I do believe that people, we're all reflections of the Lord. We're all his children and we reflect that, but there's something totally different about stepping into nature and into creation. We just experience them differently

Lindsey 7:28

and interacting with it. And that's probably, I mean, there's literally like scientific studies, like they use things like grounding and like literally like putting your feet on the, the, the ground and in the dirt and on the grass and the sensations. And like the literally like inner, it's been proven when you do things like that and you get out in sunshine and you're like, embed yourself in nature that it does have. Physiological changes to your body. I don't wear gloves.

Charity 7:53

I always have dirty nails. I always have dirty nails and people are like, Oh, Trani was in the garden. But it's like, I am literally touching soil. And if you look at even, there's so many amazing parallels between like the web of microorganisms in the ground. And our guts. Oh, it's, I was gonna say literally, it probably is like affecting your microbiome and your gut. They literally look the same. Mm. And it's like we are so intricately connected and we've been so disconnected that when you come back to that, it just changes everything about life. I wonder if, like,

Lindsey 8:27

I feel like I, and I don't know if like the whole, you know, COVID situation was like the shift, but I feel like it was a shift for. A lot of the people that I know or even for me where it was just, I think because we were forcibly removed from the busyness, you know, going to stores, going to restaurants, like the simplicity and the ease of like fast pace, fast food, all of these things. And it forced you to slow down, to cook meals at home more often to do all of these things. And I think it was this huge like paradigm shift where people were just like, Oh wow. I feel better, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Like I feel more connected to like who I'm supposed to be because I'm not numbing it with all of this like high pace, loud, you know, distracted kind of living. Right. And it had to be like forced upon us. Cause if you would have told probably anybody in America, like we're all about efficiency. I'm bad about this too. Everything's got to be like effective and efficient and I want it done quickly and I want it done. Okay. little to no effort for myself, you know? And so like, but so if you would have like offered that to people like, Hey, I'm going to provide you a lifestyle where you have to work a little more and you're going to have to slow down. Probably 90 percent of people would have been like, no, no, I'm not interested. Right. They had to be like, Almost like, and look, I'm not saying that like COVID was a blessing because a lot of people went through a lot of hard times associated with it. But if you want to try and look for like the silver lining of that situation, I think that that is it. Right. Um, because I know for me, that was a big shift where it was like, After COVID situation, I mean, and becoming a mother too, but like I didn't want to work as long. I mean, I don't, I don't want to work full time. I had this huge pull in my heart where I was like, no, no, I do want to be home more with my kids. I do want to slow down and be able to do things with them. You know, I've kind of dipped my toe into gardening. I'm not super great at it. It's a process, but I do think that a lot of people, are wanting to get reconnected. There's been this huge and it's on social media, which is a little bit of like, like an oxymoron. I find like social media has pushed this like homesteading, grow things in the ground, you know, slower way of living movement through the fast paced world of social media, right. Which is good and bad because I think it's a providing education for people, right? Like an easy access education. But I do find that that's been like more and more people are wanting to, to do what you're doing. Like, and I, I love that, you know, you're not just like talking the talk, you're like walking the walk. You are and you're like, you're figuring it out and you're, you know, you're having moments and of like failing and okay, well this didn't work, so let's do it this way. And I see you, which I love your, your you started with the garden. Like you started with like this base of it. And now it's like you're slowly adding these different layers to it. I mean, you were literally talking about maybe getting a cow earlier. Absolutely. And literally when I had you on a year ago, you'd be like, I don't know, I'm not a cow person. Right. So like, okay, what, what has shifted? Like how is it just that you're getting more confident in it and you're willing to try more things? Or like, What's changed in that perspective?

Charity 11:53

At this point, it's having the support of my husband. Oh, that's wonderful. Um, so when I started gardening it was literally One, I had my son and I started looking into baby food and I was like, why is there arsenic and all these other things in baby food? Like, what the heck? I was an athlete in college, so I like had a base level of caring about health, but I'd still go out and eat with the best of them. You know, it's like, I could go to get a cookie monster and be like, I'll have a cookie monster for dinner and just forgo dinner, you know, but when I had my son, it was like, I am responsible for this life. That's a, a way in an intensity that I don't think. anyone thinks about when you get pregnant and then all of a sudden you're like, Ooh, all of this weighs on me until a certain point. And so I wanted to provide the best for him. So I talked to my husband, he was like, all right, well let's start a garden. You know, you could grow it, whatever. He was traveling a lot. He was fighting in the UFC. He was gone all the time. I was home with our kid and I really needed to be outside. I was really struggling from coming in from a place in Thailand where you're outside the majority of the time and there's no air conditioning inside except for in your bedroom. So now I had a baby in May in the summer. It's hot. He's like breaking out all the time. Like we're inside all the time. And I really needed to be outside. So we started a garden. And it failed miserably. It was so bad. And I was just so determined, like, I will provide better for my child. And we just didn't have it in our budget to buy everything organic. Right. And food from the farmer's market. Like, it was just not there for us. So I was like, I am gonna grow this, dang it. And I kept trying, kept trying. With some success. And every, like, Every picture I saw on Pinterest that I attempted to build a raised bed was like, this is really inconvenient for my son. By the time he was walking and crawling, literally he couldn't get into the beds to try anything. I've disassembled my beds. I made them all ground level where he could get in that I had to get over, like he's going to pull out all of the flowers because he wants to give mom pretty flowers. That's okay. Like, this is not about me. This is about us growing and him, appreciating the garden, being included in the garden. This is our relationship. You know, I'm doing this for him. I can't be mad. You can't control it. He wants to participate. And so over time that just grew. We had my daughter, you know, she was excited about it. I grew more flowers. I learned that food is great, but without the beauty also that brings in the bees. You don't get as much. So whenever I become less rigid of what I need. and we grow some of beauty and what we want, there's more abundance for everything. And, um, my husband got Lyme, well, he started getting sick, which there are lots of different things you could speculate about how he got sick, but long story short, he was diagnosed with Lyme disease and, um, Justin Rhodes, As a very popular, he was a market farmer and then when he got Lyme disease, he couldn't manage it anymore. So he set out to homesteading and sharing that. And I went to a conference, waited in line to speak to him, kind of, you know, gave him the rundown and he was like, you're really not going to like that. I say this, but you need to stop gardening. You need to start raising meat for your husband because quality meat and fats are going to be what changes his life. Mmm. So I'm really stubborn, so I did both. I was like, well, um, yeah, I was like, we're just going to do both. So I got egg laying chickens not long after that. Um, then I got meat birds. We started raising our own chicken via meat birds. And, um, fat is like a, probably in my opinion, the most expensive thing to source. of. It's like 30 bucks for a jar of ghee or something, you know? And so we got some Kuni Kuni pigs. We just processed our first one last weekend. So it's like such a full circle thing. And I can't say that raising animals has been like the game changing thing for my family, but I know that it's contributed to making a difference. the lifestyle changes that we've had to make to have animals on our farm and steward them well, you know, has been a part of that. And so for a long time, my husband was traveling, fighting, and he was like, well, you can do this, but this is not my thing. Right. And now he's a lot more. He's not currently fighting. He's not necessarily retired, but he hasn't fought in over a year. He hasn't really traveled. So he's been home and he actually came to Tennessee with me this summer and got to meet and see and hear all of these other people that live this lifestyle. And for a long time, he would say, this is my hobby. And I would come back with, this is not a hobby. This is a lifestyle. Right. And I am serious about it. And I think it's taken eight years for him to really, you know,

Lindsey 17:03

so do you think honestly, and I feel like that's, and this is not like a knock at men in general, but like a lot of times, like even with me, like with my husband, I'll be telling Brent things from like a medical cause like I'm in the medical field and I'll tell him like, Hey, you know, from a medical standpoint, this and this and this, and this is what's going on. But like probably because I'm his wife as a like, it's not that he doesn't listen or that he doesn't pay attention, but it's just like, it. It's different

Charity 17:28

when it's validated. That's right. When it's,

Lindsey 17:30

when he hears it from somebody else, like we joke all the time, it's like, I'll tell him something and it'll go over his head. And then literally like somebody like a friend could call him and tell him the exact same thing in different ways. And he's like, listen to this. It's so cool. And I'm like, let's pray for new information. I know. And that's what I like. I used to get so bitter and resentful about it, but now I'm literally just like, as long as someone's getting it through your thick skull, I don't even care who it's coming from.

Charity 17:56

Well, so we all represent different parts of Jesus, right? Like you're the very organized part of Jesus that loves whatever. And I'm the like, what y'all come let's feed you, you know, like, and we need both of those things. Right. So there are so many facets of the Lord that we're just not. And I kid you not, I can talk to anybody about anything. When I try to explain something to my husband, I'm like, am I speaking Thai right now? Because. I don't know how else to explain this in a way that you'll understand. And so when we were in Tennessee, I think too, we went and very specifically spoke to older families, people that have done this longer than us, been more successful. And when I tell you, I've spent so many hours studying these things. I am doing the best that I can with the time and the resources that I have for our area. And that changes for everyone, right? Like we live in South Louisiana. Our client is totally different. It's not the Pacific Northwest, right? It's not, you know, New England area. Like it's so different. So there are times that like my husband would get excited. He would get a book from Europe about all these things. And it's like, I'm glad that you're interested, but that literally, does not apply to us. And so actually sitting down with people and saying, Hey, this is what our land is like. This is the climate we're in. This is what we're doing. And having them be like, no, if unless you start working so much at the gym and you start helping her, like she is doing what she can do. Like these are rational steps to kind of, you know, getting there. I think that was very beneficial for him to hear from someone else. Yes. And I mean, in the same way, my husband has. Um, and I'm like, yes, if we had no kids and no farm, all of these things would be great. But

Lindsey 19:51

you know, and I get it. Cause like, um, I'm kind of like Aaron, and the fact that like, I am like the big visionary, like I'm the dreamer, like I'm the one that's like, this is the goal. This is what I see. And like, Brent is kind of like you and the fact that like, okay, but like let's look at the practicality of like the action steps that's going to take to get there and the practicality of that. And I think it's good to have both, but like you have, cause it's a good balance, like without my big vision and like, then, then there's no need to look at those steps to get there, you know? So I think that that's, I can see though how, you know, having somebody else come in that wasn't you, Because, and I think part of it is, and this is a compliment to you, is that you're a very capable woman. So like your husband looks at you and he's like, well, she can do it. She can handle this. Because I married this bad bitch that can do all kinds of like, literally whatever she sets her mind to, like she's going to do it and she's going to do it well. Which, you know, I'm not to like toot my own horn, but like I can do that too. Like if I set my mind to it, I'm going to accomplish it, but it can be a good thing and a bad thing. Um, so I can definitely see how like he was just like, Oh, go charity. Go.

Charity 20:58

We need a dairy cow. I'm like a dairy cow. Um, who's going to milk that thing twice a day because I'm getting up. For all y'all and going to bed after y'all, you

Lindsey 21:07

know, like, uh, I don't know about that. That's right. Well, good. I mean, do you feel like, so is he been, he's been feeling better from like the Lyme disease standpoint. So like, I would assume then that him feeling better probably fueled a little bit of like, Oh, this does work like for him. Like, okay. Like what she's saying is like having like a practical application in my own life.

Charity 21:30

Well, it's what's been interesting is, It's having other people see and validate those things. So like I get raw milk, I drive to Jennings to pick it up. I feel that it's very important and beneficial for our family and the amount of people that will come into our gym and they're like, Hey, can I get on this raw milk thing? You know, like for a long time he was like, this is ridiculous, like this makes no sense. We should just get a cow. I'm like, I would rather drive to Jennings once a week, have a two hour round trip once a week than spend two hours a day milking a cow. For sure. And then. Process the milk and store the milk and you know all the things so I think seeing other people appreciate it and also Once you get like we all have this baseline of what we're used to and then you experience something different And when you step out of that, it's like oh, what is this is different. Mm hmm We have found, like, we have a really hard time eating out now because when you cook at home so much, you'll go out to eat something that might taste really good and 30 minutes later you're in the bathroom like, I will never do that again. Right, your

Lindsey 22:31

body's like, yes.

Charity 22:33

Which is

Lindsey 22:33

honestly like a little terrifying that our body is like so used to like all of the processed foods and how things are made here that, you know, if you get off of that for a while, Your body when you go back to it, your body's like, no, absolutely

Charity 22:47

not. Yes. Right. Yeah. So we've kind of got to this place of like a new standard of quality in our food of less fillers, less preservatives, less ingredients overall. I'm growing a lot of our own herbs and things like that. And it just tastes different. Like it's a completely different thing. And so now, uh, I think it's a balance between him appreciating it, but also feeling more empowered to like just seeing the Lord's provision in our life with things on the farm. So, you kind of can't deny those things.

Lindsey 23:24

Now, I will say this, like one thing you said earlier that kind of just like a thought popped in my mind is like you were talking about like as you started this journey, whenever Jose was like little bitty, you know, you had to kind of like release control of certain things like, you know, he's going to go in and he's going to pull the flowers and all of this. And do you feel like that's also helped you get to where you're at? Like I was talking. I was talking to you at the beginning where I'm like, you know, you're this person that just kind of rolls with the punches and kind of takes things as it is. Do you feel like that has helped you? Just that process of gardening and like obviously being a mother as well There's only so much level of control that can happen in motherhood Like has that helped you though like get to this point because you have to rely on things that are out of your control Like you can control certain things within gardening and within like, you know, taking care of animals. That's right But like the weather and like, you know Insects coming in and like your kids stomping on things like those things are out of your control to a point so I can imagine that that You You kind of just have to learn like, okay, now I'm going to pivot and figure it out. Is that, is that right? That's a good assumption.

Charity 24:29

Yeah. Okay. I mean, honestly, I, the Lord has been so gracious with me in my own life. Um, in my younger years when I was not following him and living overseas by yourself really forces you to Learn a lot about

Lindsey 24:46

yourself. I'm going to stop you real quick because we didn't talk about this before. We talked about it on our previous podcast, but charity did live overseas because you did admission work in Thailand. So just so that people have like context of why you were over there. So keep

Charity 24:58

going. So when I moved over there, I was living by myself in a country where I didn't speak the language. Um, I was learning, you know, I could ask like where's the bathroom and basic things like that. Um, but I was kind of at the mercy of another culture. Another weather, all the things, everything. And I learned so much about the Lord and His grace and His mercy and His provision. But we don't really put ourselves in a place to not have control. That's uncomfortable for a lot of people. So, um, If you are really good in the medical field, you don't walk into a construction site like, Hey, I got my hammer, you know? And so whenever we are in those situations, it actually forces us to rely on the Lord a lot. And so being over there, you know, I, I balanced this place of like learning what I'm capable of and trusting the Lord. And then you come back to a place that's comfortable and you get married and there's this balance of, Well, I can do that and your husband being like, well, I want to, I'm the protector. I'm, you know, whatever. I like, I very distinctly remember when my husband and I got married, we went back to Thailand and he had eaten, he had trained, he was tired. I came back to where we were staying and I was hungry and I was like, Hey, I'm going to go down the street to get dinner. It was dark. He was like, well, you can't go without me. And the thought popped in my head. I have been doing this longer than we were married. I sure can go get food by myself, you know? And I know that wasn't coming from a place of ugliness in his heart, but it certainly stirred up a little bit of rebellion in me. And so it has forced me to learn like the give and take. And then when you have a child, it's like, okay, well I have, I was learning to navigate this relationship. with my husband and now there's a child that I'm nursing that literally depends on me to feed them all the time and Really when I think about the way the Lord has been so gracious to me all the times that I've you know quote unquote plucked flowers and Ruined fruit that he's brought into my life. It's like I want I I Am the closest thing my kids are gonna see to Jesus for a long time And so I can't talk about him and not model him. And so That doesn't that comes with a lot of challenges all the time a lot of apologizing and you know navigating But I I tend to think about my kids in terms of how would I want to be spoken to? how would I want to be responded to and I Think the Lord wants us to be in the garden. He longs for relationship. So if he longs to have relationship with me, why wouldn't he long to have relationship with my children? How, how can I convey to them how amazing this garden is and tell them don't touch anything, don't come in, don't try it. You know, I want to create a space where they also feel safe. And if I'm experiencing him in this way in the garden, I believe that they can too. So I really have to be open and willing to saying like, okay, Lord, This is what you've given me and I want to steward it. Will help me to not act like it's mine.

Lindsey 28:13

Oh, that's so good. Charity. Oh, that's so good. I mean, and I will say this, like I do find that like, and look, maybe it needs to be gardening maybe a bit for everyone. It's going to be something else like getting you, I think you hit the nail on the head. And the fact that like trying to put yourself in positions where you are out of your comfort zone in whatever way that looks where you're not so dependent on your own. Like prowess and like your own capability because that's when it gets super easy to fall into this I got this I got this guy like why don't you take a back seat? You know I have a glass of wine or something because it's like I've got it under control and I struggle with that like I I There are things that I in my life That I'm very good at And so I kind of like, okay, I'm gonna take control. And I always struggle with a control issue. I'm a constant, it's a constant back and forth for me. But you're right in the fact that the times in my life where I've been the most out of control have been the times in my life where I have been most connected with God because there's literally nothing else I can rely on within my own person. To get me out of that situation. Like I literally just have to like go to him, like palms up and be like, I, I have to release this to you. Right.

Charity 29:30

Um, and it's hard too, because you do have these gifts, like, and it's such a hard thing, like use your gifts, use your talents, you know, whatever. And it's like, yes, but it's not about my gifts and talents. It's about what the Lord has given me and giving him glory. And so it is a, it's a, how do I use those gifts and

Lindsey 29:47

talents to serve you? Like he has given, he's allowed me to steward these gifts and talents. Like these are really not mine. They're really like his, like he's gifted that to me and it's to use that for his glory and his purpose. And how am I doing that for his glory and his purpose versus my glory and like my accolades. And that's like a hard, it's a very human, a very like real. Line that you have to kind of toggle back and forth with. Right. Um, because I was so good. That was such a good analogy. You're like, literally like I'm telling you, I'm going to leave this thing and I'm going to be like, okay, we're going to, we're going to restart the garden. Like this is it. But I love that you're like, because you've learned, it's like something that you have just totally like given your heart to. That is taught you so many lessons that has allowed you to just feel so connected. Um, But like, uh, I have a few notes here too. Like I want to talk a little bit about your mission work just cause I feel like that's such an important part of like your journey and how you've gotten here. So kind of just give us like a, how did you end up in Thailand? Like of all the places, how did you decide to go

Charity 30:50

there? So I was actually supposed to be going to Argentina. I, my dad has a construction company in Texas. I grew up working for him, helping him build houses and, I, I am the hands on kinesthetic learner. Like, I love, at the end of the day, this is what we've done. You know, like, just having that. And so I, when I was graduating college, I had, long story short, worked for this lady. I was getting credit hours towards going to occupational therapy school, and she got audited, and fell off the plane. face of the earth and would not sign any of my hours. And this happened right before the deadline for school. And so I explained to them what was happening. I did all these things. And basically I didn't get accepted into grad school. So I had to take a year off. And I had been, I'd always wanted to do longer term missions. I had done like, you know, a week on spring break and things like that. And this was the opportunity. So I committed to going on this trip and then all the women on the trip backed out, except for me. And they're like, Hey, this is actually gonna be a really inconvenient. Just, you know, to have you, we'd have to have all these things. Would you consider going somewhere else? So I go and I look and my campus pastor had really, really encouraged me because I was very similar to you. Like he wanted to send me to India and I had no desire to go to India. And he was like, yeah, but. You speak Spanish. You know construction. You are good at all these things, right? Why don't you do something like why don't you trust the Lord a little bit? I was like, I really like you're saying like I this is where

Lindsey 32:21

I'm comfortable. This is where I'm really uncomfortable

Charity 32:23

with me here So he really encouraged me to do something I wasn't good at so I had been praying about it and I was looking at these listings through that lens of okay Lord I do trust you I'm looking through them and it's all like things in Europe. I had been to Europe. It was homeschooling. I had been homeschooled construction work. I had done that and then teaching English in Thailand popped up and instantly I was like, yeah, I'm not doing that. I despise English so much. I took all of my college English in high school as like dual enrollment, so I never had to do it again. That is hilarious. When I write, oh it's stressful. I'm like, grammar? Oh my gosh, what are we going to do when my kids get to grammar age at home school? And so, just as soon as I said that, Like the Holy Spirit just convicted me of like, you were, you wouldn't do that. And I had just come back from a trip to China, a medical conference with my college and nothing against China. It just wasn't my jam. I did not like the food. It was so different. I was like, nah, you know, like Hispanic culture is the way I'm going. Loved it. So, um, I did the Christian thing and I was like, well, we'll pray about it. And I walked out of the room and my Mimi, I was living with her at the time, my grandmother, and she's like, come see this. The bachelor's in Chiang Mai, Thailand. And I was just like, really Lord, like the Lord can use anything. So I was sitting there and I'm just looking at it and I'm like, I don't want to do this. And so in my mind I was like, well, I'm not TOEFL certified. So they're not going to accept me. So I pray about it. I'm like, all right, Lord, I'm gonna apply. They're not going to accept me. I'm going to do something else. They accepted me. Oh my gosh. It's just three months. It's just three months. You can do anything for three months. And so I submitted my information. It was the fall. I got there Thanksgiving day and was there for three months and really just fell in love with it. And I mean, like we're going from Southern Like Baptist, conservative United States to like in Thailand where their language is completely different. It's primarily Buddhist, the language, like the people, the culture, the climate, everything was different. And the Lord really just met me there. And. he just provided so many ways for me to be able to go back and to serve. And it was, I'm so thankful for that time in my life. I feel like had I not had that time, um, I definitely wouldn't be the person that I am today. And it's really helped me to put myself in a place to not be the majority and to be the minority. And when I moved there, I chose to stay relatively in a, um, Um, and an area of the town that wasn't a ton of foreigners. And so I would shop where everyone else is that they don't speak English. You know, they were, you could go to tourist places and then you could go to native places. And I just chose to put myself in those shoes and to experience the grace that those people had and just how, um, Um, funny story. I was taking language school. I had taken like six weeks of language school. I was feeling really confident in myself. I was like, I'm going to go, I'm going to order all the vegetables. Like I'm going to practice. So I walked in and the markets there are like a table with like all the parts of a pig, a table with all the parts of a chicken, a table with all the parts of a cow. Okay. Fruit, vegetables, like an open air. Everything's out here with fans, flies everywhere. It is not a grocery store. So I walk in, I go to the vegetables and the fruit. And I say, uh, And everyone goes, My! They all start freaking out, right? Like, no! And all the men are like, Ow, ow, ow! Like, dancing. And all the ladies are like, My, my, my! I thought that I ordered a dozen bananas. And I ordered a dozen penises. So all the men are dying laughing like, Ooh, you want some? You know? And all the ladies are like, No! And I'm like, What'd I do wrong? Cause you could say, like, Glow eye, glow eye, glow eye, glow eye. And it's five different words. It's a tonal language. So it's not like it's just one word. I'm like so embarrassed. This lady's like points to a banana and says it and then points to her husband and you know, he's like, getting all whatever. And it was just so, I was like humiliated, but what's there to do? Do I cry or do I just laugh? And then the lady would like grab a banana and she'd be like, Like, tell me what it is. She would have gotten an apple. A pun. A pun. Uh? A pun. Not, a pun. A pun. I was like, I got it. Like, got it. And so, it's so hard when we come back here and people will be like, no one speaks English. No, you know, you're in America. It's like, yes, I've lived in Thailand. And people We're so thrilled that I gave effort. That's right, and they were so gracious with me. Can we just be gracious? Oh, you know and so it's really forced me We live in Cajun country, where some people speak French, and there's a plethora of people that come at various times. I love Festival International. There are a lot of people like, Oh, Festival International's here, you know, stay home until it's done. I'm like, these are people from all over the world that represent Jesus and culture, and one day when we get to heaven, It's going to be like, that's about to say literally it's going to look like that. That's what it's going to look like. They're going to look different, sound different.

Lindsey 38:02

I love festivals. So if heaven looks like that, I'm going to be all, I'm going to be up there dancing.

Charity 38:07

It's going to be different. You know, some people are going to be like, Oh, that was heresy, but you know, it

Lindsey 38:12

is.

Charity 38:14

No, I get it though. I think that that's such a presented

Lindsey 38:17

because a lot of times, like I really do think it's just like the effort of like people I think are so quick to like, Um, just be critical of each other in every, in every aspect of life, whether that's like in your marriage or your motherhood or like, you know, you're not talking in our language and we should be at this point because, you know, cause you're here. That's right. And it's such a, I don't know how we've gotten here. I don't know if it has to do with just like television or internet and like comparison and like, you know, all of these things. But I agree that I think just like providing people like, The differences between us is, is the beauty of it, right? Like, we're not meant to all look the same, you know? Mm-Hmm. beauty is not like defined in one way. Mm-Hmm. you know, like the, the variances and, and how we look and, and the differences in our bodies and our cultures and everything. And I think that that is so beautiful and it's, it's almost becoming rare.

Charity 39:14

Mm-Hmm. Oh yeah. The differences

Lindsey 39:16

in things. And that's a, it's almost a scary place to be because how. Like you want to talk about like an age of like the robots, like that's literally how like culture is going. People are becoming robotic and how they act and how they looked and how they, how they interact in their day to day life. Like we're getting so disconnected with like community and, and, and personal relationships and thinking differently and having conversations and accepting differences without like attacking people for those differences. And it's, it's, you know, uh, again, you go, you say you have to leave from the front, right? So like even in my motherhood and things like that, like in my marriage, it's like we, we always have conversations about the importance and the beauty of being open and having deep conversations to try to understand, to not try and convince or like alter. And especially as we're going into like, You know, an election year, you know, I feel like it's just, that's such a,

Charity 40:14

uh, you know, there's not this side and that side, right? That's it. I have this conversation with my kids all the time because they'll come in and say, it's freezing. And I'll say, you're freezing. I'm hot natured and I'm hot and it is not freezing just because you feel cold because you might be wet. Right. You might be, you know, any of these other things. It's like. We can experience the same room differently and that doesn't make anybody wrong. And one thing that really just completely like shattered my heart and solidified this for me when I was in Thailand, I went to a Thai church, you walk into a Thai church, like we have worship, you know, worship looks different there. It's in a different language. And they were singing, like I was, you know, As well as I could participating in church, but if you don't know the songs or, you know, whatever, you're just kind of there, like, learning, watching, observing. And they sang, Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord, in Thai. And I could worship at the same time in a different language. And it was so beautiful. And so when I came back from, um, Um, that trip to Thailand, one of the first things I wanted to do at church, you always get the opportunity to speak at church, you know, and I asked my sister in law to sing with me and she sang in English and I sang in Thai. Oh my gosh. And we feel like we're so different until something like that happens. And then you're like, Yeah. You're worshiping the same person. Like we have the same posture of our heart. So I actually listen to a lot of worship songs that we know in other languages. Oh, I love that. There's a really popular song. I'm going to lose the name of it. Um, but there's a version of it that's in Hebrew. And so I'll play that in Hebrew. And the kids, I'll catch them singing. In Hebrew? In English. Oh. And I'm, you know, slightly learning the Hebrew. But it's like, you don't need to know their language. No. Like, it's okay. I'll listen, I'll play songs in Spanish that are the same. Sometimes when I sing hymns to the kids that I know, I'll sing a verse in English and a verse in Thai and a verse in Spanish if I know it because Like that is, we all represent the Lord. We're all a part of his heart. He didn't speak English, actually. Yeah. And so I think, I think we need to be immersed more in that. And that's one thing that I really love about the gym is there are people from all walks of life, different skin colors, different heights, different eye colors, different languages, all of the things. And my kids are growing up. Yeah. in that type of environment. And there are so many people that will never come to church with me that would walk into the garden and that would pick flowers or be given food. And I think it's a way of connecting. Like my goal is always like, I want to build a bridge to your heart so that he can walk across it. And it's not me. Like, that's the tricky thing with social media now, right? Is like, I'm sharing a lot of gardening on social media. Okay. It looks like a lot of self promotion. Yes. But I want other moms and dads and whomever to step into a garden and experience the peace that comes from being in a garden. Yes. I want them to put their hands in soil and experience that exchange of energy. I want to hand someone flowers and build a bridge that therefore the Lord can walk across. through giving some flowers or that I can, I'm having a seed swap on Saturday. Like I want to put seeds in people's hands so that they can plant flowers and they can go and pick flowers for their mother or for their neighbor or for their children. Or they can walk outside and experience beauty.

Lindsey 44:05

Cause you're supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Like literally like, and that's like, God wants us. I feel like, Jesus, like the way that that verse is, it's not Jesus saying like, I want you to talk about me. Like, yes, he does. Like he wants us to go and like speak to other people, but like he literally used hands and feet, which to me is a very like actionable. Right. way of describing it. Like, uh, not only do you need to talk about me, but you need to like put your money where your mouth is and show people me because you're right in the fact that that, you know, that crosses language barriers and, you know, racial barriers and political barriers and all of these things like that is the way that we can unite, you know, people whether and truly show people the difference in, in, in. what it is to be a Christian versus not being a Christian. Right. I think, and that's so, that's such a good way to use that, you know, that I literally wrote it down. I want to build a bridge to your heart so he can walk across it. Cause that is such a good, that's a such a good way to put it. I mean, like that

Charity 45:08

relationship. Yeah. And on my road, the road that I live on, we are the only house on our road and there's a little like airstream. that this family lives in. They speak kind of broken English, but it's not their primary language. And I will pick flowers. And if I see the husband outside, like they're the tiniest, like short, older couple, they're so cute. He's always outside, like fiddling with something. I will pick flowers that I'm going to bring to the table. And if I see him, I give him flowers and I'll tell him like, Oh, for your wife. And the next time I see her, she's like, I'm me, huh? You know, that is. That's what it's supposed to be. Like the Lord was about relationship.

Lindsey 45:51

And

Charity 45:52

so we're all the time giving flowers out at the gym and people like, it's just flowers. It's like, but it's relationship. Like, I don't even have to be the one to do it. I could just give you flowers and the Lord can do more with flowers than I can do with words sometimes. Right. I really mess up words. So it's like, okay, how, like, feeding people when the, when the Bible says, like, love the Lord, your God and love your neighbor as yourself. Food is the way to people's hearts. Oh, for sure. You know, like maybe that's not in the North, but like if somebody's sick, bring them food, somebody died, bring them food. Like as a mom feed my children, like that is love to me to not have to cook a meal. And so. For me when I make something, like when I make bread and give it to someone, not the biggest thing, right? Like, yes, it took time, it took three hours to bake whatever. Whenever I raise chicken and give someone a chicken, it's like I spent two months of my life, right? Months raising, said things. Mm-Hmm. to give you the best nutrition that I could. Mm-Hmm. When I harvest a vegetable outta my garden. Some of these vegetables I started in December, some of these herbs and things like, this is a labor of love that like, I cannot buy this and give this to you. That's such a different experience. Not to discredit going and buying Chick fil A and feeding somebody's kids. But for me personally, this is the way that I show love. Yeah. And It's such a way that I think is undervalued until you experience it and then you're like I can actually taste the difference Like you can taste the love right where they call it flavor or whatever. It's like Well,

Lindsey 47:45

I do think and like I feel like this just popped in my head like I think and we kind of touched on this earlier It's about like God has given us certain gifts, right? Your gift is this passion that you have, this passion of feeding people and, you know, and using your talents in the garden and in the livestock that you're raising and, and using that to be that bridge to God. Right. And using those tools, you know, my gift is a little different. Like, you know, my gift is, you know, organization and, and like getting things done. Like if literally like if somebody is in crisis, I am the person that like, if you pick up the phone and you say, I need your help, I'm over there and I'm handling everything. Like I'm going to, I'm going to handle your childcare. I'm going to help you figure out like we're going to clean your house and we're going to do all of like, that's my way. Those are the things that I excel in. And so I think it's truly about, even if, you know, you have this beautiful gift of like, the labor of love and cooking. But you're right in the fact that like, even if I'm just taking time to go to Chick fil A and come help you and use my other gifts to help you in that moment, it's just about using the gifts that have been God given to be that bridge I think that that truly is just like, that's what it's about and that's what it should be about. And so it's finding those, those gifts, honing in on them and using them in a way that you can be the hands and feet of Jesus to the people around you and however that looks. And I think that that's so, that's so important. I mean, I think that that really is the, You know, we've been talking for almost an hour. I feel like that's really like to kind of like close it up. I think that that's, that really is a lesson learned for everyone that like my way of loving and your way of loving may look a little bit different, but it doesn't change the call that's been given to like both of us. Right. And I think that that is the yin and the yang of things like trying to find someone that, you know, that it like, it looks different, but it's still equally as, Purposeful, right?

Charity 49:48

You got hands and feet.

Lindsey 49:49

That's right. No one thing. That's so true. That's right. That's so true. You need both. You need both the hands and the feet. But, um, Well, okay, this was I mean like I'm gonna kind of wrap it up because I feel like we've we really that was beautiful This conversation was so good and it's so crazy because whenever I when charity got here today I was like look I kind of have this like general idea of what we're gonna talk about But I feel like you and I will we'll be able to find something We'll just chat and it'll be it'll come out to what it's meant to come out to be And I truly felt, I truly feel like that was exactly how it was supposed to go. That was beautiful. I loved it. This conversation. Thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks for having me. All right. So I do want to say, cause like you said, on social media, you use that as a tool to kind of help share your love of gardening and educate people. So if people do want to find you on social media, how can they do that?

Charity 50:35

So on Instagram is primarily where I share a lot about gardening. It's charity gardens. Um, I do have a YouTube channel. Life. Yeah. Like we have not been active there for very long. Um, so you have some old content on there that might be on there that would still be helpful. Okay. Good. Charity gardens, um, is where you can find all that. We're at head kicks. There's a garden in the front. There's a garden in the back. Show up and walk around the gardens. That's right, and

Lindsey 51:00

you did say, now I was about to say, you have this, when this podcast comes out, the seed swap will be done. But you have your seed swaps periodically, right? Yes. And you post about them on your social media. I do. Okay, that's good. We do a seed

Charity 51:11

swap in January and in July every year. Okay. To prepare for this podcast. Um, and then we do a plant sale

Lindsey 51:16

every

Charity 51:17

March.

Lindsey 51:17

Okay. Wonderful. Okay. So if people want to kind of like watch your social media, they start following you, they'll, they'll see those notified. So that was great. Okay, you guys, well that's it. Thank you so much for tuning into the good years podcast. Be sure to follow us on social media at the good underscore years. Um, and then be sure to, you know, leave us a review here. If you're listening on Spotify or Apple podcasts, you know, make sure to leave those reviews and that really helps to kind of, uh, To help expand our reach when it comes to this, but thanks for tuning in. Alright, y'all.

51:47

Bye. Bye.

Lindsey 51:49

This podcast is sponsored by Great Harvest Bread Company. Oh yes, oh my gosh, their Bayou Bars are the best. I mean, you guys, just picture this like ooey gooey oatmeal bar topped with fruit. It is like the most decadent indulgence, I think, in town. I know, I get them for clients probably a couple of times a week and they go crazy when I bring them in. It pulls them all out of their offices. They love them. Um, and as a bread and carb expert, I can tell you that they have the best fresh baked bread in Lafayette. I'm telling you, it's so good. Um, for every holiday, I'm in charge of bringing the bread because again, I am an expert and I get the potato rolls. I'll get whatever, 20, 30 of them, put them in the oven. Uh, whenever we get where we got to go and, uh, whenever we pull them out, they're gone in no time, they're so good. And, uh, I gotta say, uh, great harvest is owned by probably the most handsome man in Lafayette, Mr. Brian Malonso. He is a stud. So if you, So seriously, on a real note, the people there that work there, they are so kind and so warm and so welcoming when you come in, they really treat you like you're, I mean, just so important as a customer and everything you'd expect from like a, a warm and cozy bakery, like local bakery kind of vibe. So, um, you guys be sure to check them out. Um, if you're local in the area, we highly, highly recommend them. Yep. 854 College Saloon Road in Lafayette. That's it. Tell them we sent you. Yep. The good years