Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future

Ep #197: Suzanne Raja: How to Align Power, Pleasure, and Purpose in Love

• Beate Chelette • Episode 197

Share episode

Had an AHA or Insight? Share it:

We’re mastering business, money, and personal growth — but why does business success often mean that high-achievers feel empty in love?


We live in a world that glorifies hustle and independence. Myself included, many of us believe there is a reward for doing everything on our own. Meet Suzanne Raja, co-founder of WarriorSage, who looks at what happens when success comes at the cost of our connection to ourselves and our partner and family.

In this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future, Suzanne explores what it means to be powerful and feminine — to lead without losing softness, to love without surrendering yourself, and to rediscover the intimacy that gets buried under achievement.

On whether or not you or your partner is the more successful one, success often means friction in our relationships. This conversation will open your eyes to what’s really missing.

👉 Learn more about Suzanne’s work: https://warriorsage.com
 ➡ ️ Subscribe for more raw, thought-provoking conversations that challenge how we define success, love, and leadership.


Other Resources Mentioned:
Suzanne Raja:  LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram

_____________________
We appreciate you, thank you for listening. Let us know in the comments what resonated in this episode, we want to hear from you.

Leave a comment, like, share with one person who needs to hear the message our guest shared.

Take our QUIZ and find out what your talent is worth in this market: What's Your Talent Worth (http://WhatsYourTalentWorth.com)

Follow us on Instagram:
Check us out on Tik Tok:
Work With Us

BEATE CHELETTE:

You can succeed in everything in life, your business with money, but starve in your relationship

Suzanne Raja:

when you're doing things from a place of automatic this is where things go all over the place. He's the King and I am a queen. In the relationship, there is only one queen, and that queen is me. I wondered, Am I valuable? I had moments where I felt not good enough. Go back to the source of life itself. Spend some time in nature, and you will start to find yourself when we're not feeling pleasure in our own bodies. It's difficult for you to engage with others.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Suzanne, you say that you can succeed in everything in life, your business with money, but starving your relationship. Why do people do that?

Suzanne Raja:

Priorities or lack of priority, lack of the right priorities? You know, it's priorities come from actually tuning in to really what is the most, what is the truest place for me to move, what is the most aligned to who I am, and following that impulse, what am I really about, what do I value when you when you're not tuning into that we're not taking the time to breathe, taking the time with yourself, go inside, and everything else is more important. Everything else you gotta, gotta go there. You don't take the moment to tune in, then you start to act from automatic. And when you're doing things from a place of automatic, this is where things go all over the place. It's about coming back and rooting in and aligning your life with the deepest part of you and your priorities will come from that place, and you follow that.

BEATE CHELETTE:

You know, I always say that when people don't find balance, that there's only three things you can blow up in your life, that's your health, your relationship, or your business. And I see a lot of people blow up their relationship. Is it that people don't value the relationship? Or do men and women have different values as they go into relationships? And what I mean by that is I have noticed that men have a harder time to commit, but once they commit, sometimes it feels like that's it. They're done. They don't need to do anything more. What are you noticing in your work on how these dynamics work?

Suzanne Raja:

I notice whether it's men or women. They are not coming back and tuning in what is deepest in their soul and aligning their life with that. When one does not do that, when one does not take the time and, you know, maybe wake up, one of my practices is I wake up extra early in the morning before every before the consciousness of the world, before the consciousness of my home arises, I make sure that I go to bed at a certain time so that I can have enough rest, so that I am up at least two hours before everyone else wakes up, so that I can tune back into what is, what really matters, listening to that voice inside of me that's very faint, that says, okay, yes, go here. No, this that. It's just very simple listening to that, listening to the inside, and not getting lost in the noise. I feel that when we get lost in the noise, that is when relationships go awry. We make mistakes, we do and say things that are not in alignment with who we are. Invest the time in ourselves and in our deepest, the deepest part of us that has the truth of the way we need to be, the way we need to be showing up in the world for ourselves and for our partners and for etc, etc, etc, and so on. But it starts at home.

BEATE CHELETTE:

So I have to ask this question, because you are married to a very powerful man, hmm, and a very masculine powerful man, yes. How do you reclaim your femininity? Or, how do you, I don't say stand. Up to it, because that would be the wrong terminology. But how do you keep your part of this equally strong without it squashing?

Suzanne Raja:

You? Love that question. So you know, again, it's going back to the time that I take for myself, the time that I invest in myself. I spend a lot of time in nature. I spend a lot of time moving my body, coming into my body, learning about my body, enjoying my body, valuing who I am and what I bring. I'm a queen in this relationship. He's the King and I am a queen in the relationship. There is no battle whatsoever. In fact, there is only one queen, and that queen is me. And when I remember, when I forget that, then, you know, I'm forgetting myself. I've forgotten to take time for me, but the time that I take and I remember who I am. There's absolutely no battle. It's making love all the time. It's like, oh, okay, yeah, there's my king over there. Oh, be as powerful and rise as high as you you rise. Because as you're rising, I am also rising. I can only rise. The Queen only rises, She only becomes the best part of herself, and continues to do that and takes everyone with her, uplifts everyone with her. She's a blessing for her king. She is so valuable for him. She's his app, the absolute apple of his eye when she remembers who she is, and that's what I do. A real queen is one who comes from underneath and awakens and inspires and brings everyone with her in joy, in pleasure, in love, in life. And so there is so much going on for me. I have no time to look over there and say, I mean, it's not as exciting. He's got his thing that he's doing so well. What I have to do in my life, what I'm enjoying, what I have the great gift and the pleasure to be I'm I have too much time enjoying that and fulfilling my role as the Queen in the relationship, that there is no battle. It's a joy. It's a dance, actually, it's a tango, if you really want to get to that

BEATE CHELETTE:

now that have like 10,000 questions, something tells me it's not always been like this. You're not a princess, you're not the mistress, you're a queen. Were you always a queen? Or did you have to get to the real realization that you are a queen and step into that and claim that for yourself?

Suzanne Raja:

Yes, and yes. So I was always the Queen, but I didn't realize that I was the queen. At times, there were times, especially as in our in our life, where I was the stay at home mom, the one who took care of the home. And oh, what a what a beautiful thing. That is, I didn't realize my worth there, I would look to see other women, let's say that were out, working outside of the home, and they were successful in my eyes. And I felt like, well, I'm What am I doing? I'm not really X, Y or Z. And I would watch as my husband would rise in his power, and he would try to take me along. And he did. He actually took me to help me to get to the place of another iteration of my life where I'm not only working at home, but I'm working outside of the home. But as he rose in his success, in his power and his recognition outside of the home, I I wondered, Am I valuable? I had moments where I felt not good enough, and there are times where I forget we're human, that I feel not good enough. And yes, I did have that early on, and it took a strain on myself, on our relationship, and in my ability to step on to do the next part of my of my offering, of my giving, because I didn't feel like I had anything to give, and so I stayed small for a while. But with my husband, he I couldn't stay small for too long.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Was just gonna say, that's a tough thought. He strikes me as somebody wants to take as many people with him as he possibly can.

Suzanne Raja:

Absolutely. He, and he's such a beautiful man, that he always saw me. He always saw me, and he always said that you are so you're incredible. You have so much to offer. Look at what you do. He would praise me constantly, but I couldn't hear it when I didn't go inside and find that in myself. I couldn't hear anybody's gifting of words to me until I found that in myself that's

BEATE CHELETTE:

so beautiful. I want to ask this question now about did you have to unlearn any patterns and re establish those patterns? Because I think our audience probably goes she sounds amazing. She sounds like she's a powerful woman with a powerful man. How do I get there? What are the patterns we need to unlearn?

Suzanne Raja:

There's so many patterns I can speak about having a very powerful in a voice mother and mother in law and women in my world that have that I've looked to and thought I need to be strong and powerful, as well as my husband. I need to climb. I need to as strong as he is, I need to be strong too. I need to this and this, and that's a pattern of insecurity and not recognizing who you are. And that's something that I had to break. I had to instead of looking to Him, and as he rises, think, well, I have to keep up. Instead, I had to turn the view back to myself and find me again, and that's one of the things that I really find in my work. Women who have forgotten to resource. I call it resource. You've heard the word resource, well, it's resource. Go back to the source of where you come from, go back to the source of life itself. Spend some time in nature. Be with nature, and that nature will teach you how to wake up to who you are, to spend time in the quiet and watch, watch as the radiant sunlight attracts you into life. Watch as the green of the grass is growing or it's or it's going into hibernation. Watch those things breathe that in, attune to nature, as if you would attune to an instrument, and you will start to find yourself again. We have lost touch with that, and it's time to remember. And that's a very simple way that your breath returning to your breath coming back to that these little things, they're simple, but they're potent. They're powerful resourcing going back to the source of life, and that will change the pattern that is so unnatural these days. It will bring you back. Do you think that

BEATE CHELETTE:

many women are forced by society or the patterns that have been established around us to be too much in their masculine energy. And I'm totally speaking about myself. I mean, I've been I've lived in my masculine energy for most of my life, and it wasn't until I met this man who, very much like yours, a very powerful, very masculine man. And I realized we can't have two alphas, two alpha males in the same relationship. But how do we how do we help women to find joy and pleasure not being in the alpha male when all it seems like that's being rewarded.

Suzanne Raja:

Yes, yes. We have to get away and be with each other in pleasure, times of pleasure that have nothing to do with the mind, our absolute, brilliant mind that's there, our brilliant capacity to make waves and do amazing things. We we are capable of that and so much more great. We've sharpened that it's time to get away and be together in community with women. We've left the village. It's about getting together, retreating, escaping with with women, and speaking about love, speaking about pleasure, getting into body massage, walking in nature together, just I mean. Simple things like that, listening to music together, dancing together. It's counterproductive. It's not what you do when you're going out there and you're using the mind and you're on your laptop and you got to get that project together. It can take you into a spin. You have to set time to step away, you have to set time to do frivolous things. Take out an art book, take out some crayons, play some music, sit back and color. That alone will take you away. There's so many things that you can do to just come away from the mind and be amongst other women. Stay out of the head, and when they start to get into the head, get into some body practices, where you're you're dancing, you're in movement, you're you're enjoying the senses together. I have known so many women that feel like they're in a desert. And when we get together in the way that we do, and you can do this too, it's like a drink of water for the first time. It's like you're Oh, can finally relax. And I'll tell you something when you do that, when you get away with other women, and you go and you resource in nature, and then you get into your body, and you get turned on to life itself, You will come back so juicy, so radiant, so alive, that everything starts working even better with less efforting and your partner. Oh, my God, that's the other piece. It's just, what a joy, what an eternal honeymoon. You know? I mean, isn't

BEATE CHELETTE:

that sort of what everybody wants, and then very few people seem to be able to do that. You make it sound so so easy, but I know plenty people where intimacy is a huge issue, where it's not the love for each other, but it is the physical connection. It's the tenderness, the intimacy, the sex, the connection.

Suzanne Raja:

Where do we lose this? You lose it in yourself. It always comes back. And when I say always come back, what I mean to say is that when we're not feeling pleasure in our own bodies, when we're not able to just take a finger and feel the um, feel the Whoa, I could just stay here forever, or just when you can't make love to yourself in such a way that you're ecstatic, Then it's going to be difficult for you to engage with others, with your partner, you're it's going to be difficult, but when you are able to, and by the way, it's not just with yourself, it's with the source of all things. So for me, I enjoy making love with what I call the Great one. With the great one. You can call it God, Goddess, nature, spirit, Christ, whatever you want it you want to say for me, when I when I take that time first thing in the morning, and I have time where I am making love with the great one. I'm relaxed completely. I am in full trust that I'm going to be completely the Great One is present with me fully, so I can just relax all all tension, anything that would hold me back from experiencing nothing but pleasure, and I commune with this the deepest part of me that is the deepest part of all. And when I've had that experience, it I am a delight to be with intimately and intimately. It's delightful to be with my beloved, because My beloved is a concentrated form of the great one. So imagine what's possible. It's a renewal, is what I'm speaking about. It's a return. It's a return to the to resource with life is the opportunity. And it's as simple as this. It's as simple as a breath, just breathing in, allowing that breath to come right inside, and holding it, holding the pleasure of it for 3210, my God, that was so good. Exhale. All. All the way, all the way and holding that pleasure celebration, then just allowing yourself to be breathed as if you were being made love to in the most delicious way. It brings energy. Just brings such delight. It's yummy.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Well, I'm getting all kinds of ideas just talking to you good what is so difficult about us? I mean, you said priorities. We lost our house in January in the fires. I'm sorry. It's been a horrible road of recovery through a lot of grief, and in our spiritual practice, we understand that the version 3.0 is emerging, and that is emerging in its own time, and thank God for our spiritual practice. Otherwise, I don't think I'd be able to function, but people have a lot of tough stuff that happens to them, what would you say to somebody who's going through a very difficult time right now, and a lot of people are going through very difficult times right now, where can they start with? Maybe something simple or something juicy to help them to find it's all you know, like, I have this visual of almost like this, this thread of wool that I can follow, and then that leads to more and more and more. Where can I find the beginning of this threat that I need to follow?

Suzanne Raja:

Something simple. Set a time. Have a timer for 10 minutes, have a journal, and in that 10 minutes, you write about your grief, get messy, say the things that you wouldn't maybe, maybe say to anyone. You're afraid to say, you're afraid to think, you're afraid to know your fears. What, how it's ripping you apart, all of the things that are going on, right, right, right. Just keep writing. If you don't know what to say, just I don't know what to say, you just write. You just write. You just write. And then at the end of 10 minutes, take a breath again. Take a breath. And here's the thing, I really want to emphasize this breath that I'm utilizing with my clients. It's so powerful. It's really about breathing in all the way, just like letting life in all the way, we stop short, you know, breathe life in all the way, and hold it there. Hold it. Experience life fully for 321, and then slowly exhale all the way. Because often we don't let out fully what we need to let out the pressure cooker so strong need to let it all the way out, and then celebrate that you've let that go for 321, and then, and then just bring come back into a breath and recognize that you Don't have to breathe, but that you are being breathed, you are being held. I find that this is really so helpful. After allowing yourself to let let those things out, and then coming back into the breath, it's a bit of a reset. And then you can write on another piece of paper. You can say, what is a win insight or learning that I've gotten from this just a win insight or learning. And once you have that close the book, say gratitude to the great one or whoever, what, however you want to do that the next day, same thing. Next day, same thing. It's like. Move through it. Move right into it when you allow yourself to let life have its way with you, and you take it in the end as there is, there is a win, insight or learning in here for me, ultimately, ultimately, no matter what it is, and soon you will know what is the your next step.

BEATE CHELETTE:

So you what I want. I'm hearing from you, and I ask, not just for myself, but really for our audience, is that we often make this just way too complicated. We run from seminar to retreat to podcast to Burning Man to spiritual retreats, and you're saying the. It's all nice, but start with yourself. Start here today. Start with something really simple. Take a breath.

Suzanne Raja:

Yeah, it really is that simple. You know, we do make it complicated.

BEATE CHELETTE:

I'm the queen of it too, you know,

Suzanne Raja:

I too. Have Been there, yes. And when I forget, I go there too,

BEATE CHELETTE:

but it is so it is so easy to forget, because we're so busy, and the stuff piles up, and then you get bad news, and you get other bad news, and in your practice, but talk to me about the work that you do with the people that come to you because people come to you because they seek out Suzanne Raja for Sacred partnerships. Tell me about the work.

Suzanne Raja:

Well, when they come to me, they come to me for different reasons, but what I love to do is hold them in something that I call the spa for their soul. Yeah, so that is where they get to come in with whatever they've got. They bring whatever it is, and they lay it down. And then I get to lay my hands on them, virtually, and I get to feel where it hurts, where it's what's going on over there. And then I get to with their permission, press in and feel, Oh, that's tender there. And some need just a tender touch. Some need just the most tender touch. They need just to be heard, just to be held, just to be seen and felt. And it's simple. It is so simple that that alone can help a client to get to the next stage in where they need to go that alone, and that is so valuable. Sometimes it needs to be more of a more of a press, a press in for them to feel what's actually happening. And I through the processes that I offer allow them to actually go deep inside and feel and it's not it's not like they're getting in there and they have to talk about the deep, dark, horrible things for long periods of time. We don't have time for that. We're about getting to the pain really quick, as long as they allow me to press in and feel and then moving to the next place that we need to move to, and stepping into that next stage. And so it's, it's working with them where they're at, and helping them to feel, which is what we're really we've stepped so far away from, is feeling, so that we can start the healing.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Are people afraid of feeling these feelings of loss and fear and disconnectedness

Suzanne Raja:

at first, but it's about the container that's held for them. I have only found a a moment of fear, but quickly, quickly leaves because of the container that I hold. There is a sense of safety. There is an awareness that you know you're not going to be judged, you're not going to be there. There's none of that. You're only going to be welcomed and held and midwife of sorts to see what So, what is that that you're bringing? What is that contraction? And I do speak about it sort of, it's kind of like a spiritual midwifery of sorts, when you're feeling whatever that contraction is, and allowing you to breathe through it and go go through it. So then birthing, what is the next iteration of your relationship, your the next stage of your life, the next play, the next Vista that you're here to reach because of whatever that contraction is. It's only here to open you out to the next stage, and they actually get to feel it. Quick

BEATE CHELETTE:

question here, do you think that these things have to happen and the pressure has to increase for us to be able to release it? Is that what it's there for?

Suzanne Raja:

I would say it's a trigger that's there. Sometimes it's pressure. Sometimes it's not always a trigger. It's something that has triggered you. It's something that has got your attention. Give attention to it. When you don't give attention to something, it grows. What you give attention to grows. So let's, let's give full attention to that that is got you get that feel that fully and completely magnify it, dramatize and intensify it. That's that. That's the way that we work. And then once you've done that, then we move to the next stage. I wouldn't advise you do that on your own, but this is something that is how we hold our clients and help them to connect to the deepest part of themselves, and then in the deepest part of their partner, and be able to see each other, because often we don't, we're we

BEATE CHELETTE:

don't see there, yeah, no, yeah. Or we see it only in moments, and we can hold on to, we can hold on to this moment. This has really been very beautiful. And I feel we feels like we sat in a canoe and we were paddling down a river together while we were talking,

Suzanne Raja:

love that. I've never heard that that's beautiful.

BEATE CHELETTE:

As we're stopping, we take in a look at things, we put our fingers in the water. And, you know, so, so I hope I get to do that actually with you.

Suzanne Raja:

Oh, I love it beautiful. I wonder, I wonder what your your listeners, what their visuals were, what they heard or felt or tasted in that and that they're all with us. They're all with us on that canoe.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Exactly. Yeah. So, so share that in the comments. Leave us a comment, and please maybe share this with episode if it resonated with someone else who needs to go on a nice little canoe ride and take a breath fully in and fully exhale. So Suzanne, where can we find you? Where can we send our audience for more information about what you do? Do you know

Suzanne Raja:

what? Reach out to me. Reach out to me. At suzanne@warriorsage.com, W, A, R, R, I, O, R, S, A, G, E.com, and, yeah, reach out to me directly and let me know what how you're moved by this. I have retreats that I offer. I have a mini course that's coming out. Send me a message and let me, let me know if you'd like some of that I'm happy to share. Hop

BEATE CHELETTE:

in the canoe. Hop in the canoe. Thank you so much. It's been a beautiful time spending with you. Thank you. Thank you for taking the time

Suzanne Raja:

to talk to us today. Oh, my pleasure.

BEATE CHELETTE:

And that is it for us, for today, definitely a different kind of an interview for you today to go on a nice, smooth, sexy ride and maybe something to think about. Slow down, take the breath, and I see you again next time. And goodbye. That's it for this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show, founders of the future, if you're done playing small and ready to build the future on your terms, subscribe, share and help us reach more Trailblazers like you. And if you're serious about creating, growing and scaling a business that's aligned with who you are, schedule your uncovery session at uncoverysession.com. Lead with vision. Move with purpose. Create your future.

Head Shot

Beate Chelette

Host
Head Shot

Suzanne Raja

Guest

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.