Remembering the Forgotten Art of Receiving Love with Aaron Cartwright

Do you find yourself constantly giving to others but struggle to accept love in return? 

In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with one of my dearest friends, Aaron Cartwright, to explore a challenge many of us face but rarely discuss – the art of receiving love.

Aaron shares his powerful journey from personal trainer to transformational coach specializing in inner child healing. 

After battling anxiety and panic attacks himself, he discovered that traditional psychology couldn't address his deeper needs. His story of finding healing through inner child work mirrors my own journey of transformation.

Together, we dive into why we often reject the very love we're seeking. I open up about my experiences with bisexuality, addiction recovery, and creating an open relationship with my wife Abi while Aaron offers profound insights into the blocks that prevent us from truly receiving.

What we discovered in our conversation is that many issues in relationships, business, and personal growth stem from the same root – not feeling worthy of receiving love. 

When we overwork, people-please, or constantly strive, we're actually trying to earn what's already freely available to us.

By the end of our chat, you'll understand that learning to receive isn't just about relationships – it affects everything from your financial success to your ability to form deep friendships. 

As Aaron beautifully puts it,

"How you do one thing is how you do everything."

Ready to break free from the cycle of giving without receiving? 

Follow us both for more insights, and remember – the love you seek is already there. Your work isn't finding more love; it's removing the barriers to receiving the love that already surrounds you.

To explore Aaron's services, connect with him here:

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/TheAnxietySpecialist

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healing.all.things/

Connect with Nichole Hamilton:

Website: https://www.thekidzcoach.com.au/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nichole.hamilton.587
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekidzcoach_nichole_hamilton/

Want to be a guest on The Nichole Show?
Email: thenicholeshow@gmail.com

Transcript

0:00

Welcome back to The Nichole Show, guys, for 2025 where we're having a bit of a theme of some amazing and inspirational men's coaches with their stories and their journeys. And today in the hot seat is my beautiful bestie, Aaron Cartwright. We connected about four years ago, maybe three I, it feels like a lifetime, but we have a deep connection and this man holds space for healings inner child. Like no other. And so all his socials will be linked underneath. But stay with us as we dive down another rabbit hole of exploration relationships and just healing. Welcome back guys to the Nichole Show 2025. This is episode four and I'm super excited because this is our third time trying to make an episode with the beautiful Aaron Cartwright. He is, um, a phenomenal men's coach and I'm very privileged to call him one of my best friends and. Yeah. Then Nichole, she's kind of taken a little bit of a different turn this year of just, you know, diving into vulnerabilities. But what I wanted to, um, bring up is, is, is talk about friendships. But before we do, 'cause I'm already in my ADHD head, I want everyone to, um, for you to introduce yourself, Aaron. Mm-hmm. And give us a little synopsis of you. And also why you do the work that you do, because I think that's like super important for the, for our listeners. That's a good question. So what I do, I'm a coach. I've been doing it since 2017, and the main reason was I was working on myself. I had issues with anxiety, relationships, my overthinking. I went to a psychologist in 2007, 2017. I was a PT at the time. And I loved helping people on the fitness and getting fit and, you know, getting the body they wanted, but I realized I was something deeper. So I went to a psychologist and it was good, but there was limitations. I was, I knew there was something deeper I needed to find. And then I found another mentor and we did a lot of mindset work that changed my life. And then, um, I become a mindset coach and I never looked back. So I've just been doing a lot of personal development, working on myself, and I love figuring myself out. Hmm. I'm very curious about myself and I'm curious about other people too. I like to figure other people out, and I like to solve, like, it's like a, a puzzle piece. I like to solve people if they need, if they need, uh, assistance. So then I went down a pretty dark, uh, road in 2019 where I started having panic attacks. I had a gym at the time that was breaking in a lot of money. It was quite successful, so I was making a lot of money and my mindset tool stopped working. Mm. So I found a new mentor that did a lot of body works, inner child work, breath work, and just different kind of modalities, and it changed my life. Mm. Solved the gym. Went full time, um, into the inner child work. Traveled around Australia, well, actually met you first, then traveled around Australia, worked online and I've been doing it ever since. So inner child work was really my, you could call it my savior. Yeah, and I just wanted people to experience what I experienced.'cause I was in a very dark place and it got me out of it. And then I like to pass it on to people. Yeah, that's pretty much like the, the crux. And, and Aaron does hold the most phenomenal experiences with inner child. So if you ever get chance to go to one of his workshops or be in one of his spaces or book a one-on-one, his links will be underneath. But, um, I've done a lot of modalities and a lot of different things and everybody has their. Has their niche and has their, you know, has their, their, their one thing that they're really gifted at and that definitely is yours. Um, it's super, super special because you, you can feel us, you, you, you hear and you, yeah, you've held space for me quite, quite a few times. Um, and that just reminded me, you need to teach that. Like, I know you have your workshops and your one-on-ones, but the way that you actually teach it, teach it, teach your inner child is, is actually. Phenomenal. Thank you. Um, but yeah, I like, I love how you said like you like to figure people out. Yeah. Because, you know, you and I were, you know, we're a bit, bit crazy, a bit, you know, cheeky the rest. Yeah. But as soon as you drop in Yeah. Like you can just feel and see somebody. Yeah. And you've held space for me on multiple occasions, even when I'm. You know, in my head about things and you do you really see somebody? Mm. And I remember, um, we were planning to do that retreat and it didn't happen, but we were, we were sitting there and I was going through my diagnosis and you're like, what do you need? And I was like, I just need you to love me. And you're like, but I do. And the way that you just hold space for somebody like that, I, I truly believe makes a phenomenal coach, like somebody that can reflect back. And hold space and truly like, figure somebody out. Mm. It's such a, it's such a safety and you know, I've worked with a lot of different people, but you hold that beautiful space and I just wanted to reflect because that's a big, that's a getting choked up. That's a big piece of how much love that I have for you and for the listeners that are listening, like, I feel like you two can call in. Beautiful integrated soul connections, friendships, and that from doing this work. Yeah. You know, from rocking up to Ice Bath, from doing the work, for going to, you know, different workshops for putting yourself out there. A lot of my, uh, students and friends and people that ask like, how did you, you know, find these people? And I'm like, because I continued Yeah. To show up for myself and do the work. Yeah. Because I continue to search for more. Yeah. It's really powerful and it's a self-worth thing as well.'cause you, you feel worthy of it. I think there's two things, like there's a self-worth believing you deserve good friendships, relationships, and also putting yourself in the position to be around people that are like that. I. Mm. You're not gonna go nightclubs and find people that are like, gonna sit you down and see you and, and feel like there's a soul connection. Maybe after, unless everyone drives, maybe after a bit of md a your fingers are fucking connection. You're so beautiful. Fucking feel so nice. Wow. This, this feels so good. I love everybody. Yeah. Correct. It's shortlived, you know, so the, the. You gotta put yourself in the right positions to, to find connections like that as well. So, and you, and you are right. There is a big worthiness piece. And you know, if, if you had met me in my twenties or have met in young, we would not have got along. No, we would've but heads, we would've butted heads really badly. And. But at the same time, like I didn't know who I was in my twenties. I was a try hard, I was taking drugs. I was a people pleaser. I was a gossip, like I had no idea how to be a good human and what I was capable of and what I was worthy of. And these are the things that are definitely not taught and probably not handed down by generation to generation and not taught in education. And so the beautiful way that. Not only you and my, but my other friends, I've taught to hold space. Mm. Use really good communication tools to set boundaries and ha be able to even have a rupture and a beautiful repair. Yeah. Yeah. To have to have a deepening of that though. Yeah. And have a trust. Yeah. Like, you know, people have not learn those things and Yeah. I find it super special. And also honoring the fact that you continue to, to do the work, to, to bring it back to your friendships, to your lives, to your people, to your, to your clients too. Yeah. Yeah. It's very true. It's very true. You do it very well too. You see people very well. I think the whole, what you see in me is literally that old mirror. That's what you do very well, more than more than most people. I know. You see people very deeply. Thank you. Nichole's very good at that. If you don't haven't met her in person, you can feel her. She, she looks into your soul. She has this look. You are like, she's fucking seen me. She sees my soul. That's what you and loves you anyway. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you're very good at and and loves you anyway. And that's the thing that I think everyone seeks. Like I, you know, I believe that my superpower is unconditional love and being able to love many, you know, and. Which is funny 'cause we will probably touch into that. You're like, I'm gonna talk about poll, but I, you know, I really believe that my, my gift is to, to love in this world. And because of that I've had many, many heartbreaks, but I can hold space and feel people very well. And because I've worked on myself and. I still have my moments of insecurities too, but because I have, I feel like there's an expansion of that heart of the ability to call in more and to see more and hold space for more and love more, which is just, yeah, why not? Yeah. One life yolo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your theory on that? Can we go into a bit of a theory? Yeah, of course. Of course. I, I knew you were gonna tap into this because we, we had these like full. Podcast before, and for some reason they weren't uploaded so we'll. We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, of course we'll touch on it. Like, like you, so you've taught me a lot about, like, I, I, I'm, I believe I'm monogamous, but you've really opened my eyes to like, you're so open and you're so loving to, you can hold love so deeply with many people. What's your theory on all this? Like, love and like? Yeah, but I believe that honestly like, well, for me, I'm bisexual and so I. Coming from a marriage with a, with a husband and then a marriage with a wife. Now there's a crossover. And it was that continual showing up and learning about myself, not only in my, my sexual needs, but my, my energetic needs and what I desire as, as Nichole, not as mom, not as boss, not as just what does Nichole actually truly want that as being, and you've seen it fucking rabbit hole of, of crossovers and pain and, and, and, and. Insecurities, but I continue to show up and have beautiful friends like you and, and, and, you know, go to couples therapy and sex therapists and, and you know, Kundalini, all sorts of different options. You wanna learn from somebody who's, who's, who's experiencing it. And I believe that I called you in for an intimate male relationship. Not sexual, but you and I have such a bond. Like I'm not like that with. Any other man, like I'm so safe with you. Like if I need a cuddle or if I need a massage, like I know you're not gonna cross a boundary, but you love me regardless. And that is beautiful. And I don't think people realize that you can have that. Like it's nice you can hold somebody's hand if you like, if they want to. Like, you can actually, if you want to, you don't have to, but like you can ask for that. But we're not taught that. We're taught like, oh, that's for my monogamous part, we can't hold my hand. Yeah. And that is a beautiful part of, I believe. Uh, in the escalation of polyamory is that you can have many Ls, and I truly believe you don't get everything out of one person. Mm. So that's why we do have friendships and, you know, work colleagues and different things. You can have intimacy with just one person if that's what you choose, if that's what your heart totally desires. Mm. But. I personally would not get my needs met from one person because I'm bisexual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so working that out and calling in the right energetic frequencies and then working out what I desire from people. So I have my beautiful circle of girlfriends that are just friends that know me emotionally, have my wife, that is my one and only. And then, yeah, now, um, through like, through the work, you know, I am allowed to. Be intimate with men and that's the relationship that ABS and I have. Mm-hmm. And she's on the vice allowed to, um, you know, have other relationships with women if that's what she chooses. At what stage did you know you were bisexual? Was it young? Oh my God, yes. Or was it older? Seven. Like seven, yeah. Conscious awakening, like around then I remember it like, well, maybe even, yeah.'cause I moved house around there, so maybe six or seven. Yeah. And knew that I was attracted to girls. So this is in the eighties, right? Yeah. So this would be in the eighties. So, so back then it wasn't as acceptable. How'd you deal with that? How'd you deal with like your parents? I just kind of hit and kids and over like there, there was one girl like in primary school that kind of like, we played around, but I just kind of then hit it and then I was kind of a late bloomer when it came to like sexual experiences. So it wasn't until I was 16 and it was with boys and then it wasn't until, you know, I actually did have a very safe boyfriend that would allow me to. To explore that. Mm. It's super hard. Back then, there was no Facebook. There was no L-G-B-I-T-Q there. I had to meet somebody from a ad in the paper to like talk, talk about bisexuality. Yeah. Like reply, meet her at the crank. Oh, fuck it. God. I know. I look young guys, but I'm 44 this year. You don't? Wow. And um, yeah, so for me, as I said, I feel like I have a very diverse life, which is hence why I've created the culture show, because I never want. Anybody to feel alone, like you know, if you're in the L-G-B-I-T community, if you're having, you know, bad sex or you know, having a bad relationship with your partner, if your business is not going good, if you've got a drug addiction, if your kids need emotional help, like I have literally been in the trenches and all those parts. Mm. And I just wanna share and know that even if I'm not the right person, I might know the right coach.'cause I've literally. What the walk and tried to always better myself. Yeah. And own my fuck up. So then there's been plenty. There's been plenty. But the relationship that Abby and I have now, honestly, yes. We still trigger each other, but we always come back to love and we have the best communication that we don't hide anything from each other. Yeah. Even when we know what's gonna trigger the other person, even when we speak our truth. Because when you, if you do, if you hide those parts. A part of you suffers and compromises. Mm-hmm. And that lives in there. It's been inspiring to watch you guys sometimes. Yeah. What you guys are going through. I thought that'd be very difficult and you guys just make it through it's communication. Very open. I I, I'm very inspired by that. Can we, um, I'm trying to see what I can touch and not touch into, but I'm curious about, um. Have you spoken about your, like your older days of drug taking and stuff? Yeah, so I think that I've, you know, in previous podcasts, you know, I, I, I talked about that. Um, it was again, probably me not knowing who I was in my twenties. And yeah, my philosophy really is yolo. You only live once, so, and try all the drugs. But, um, now that I've wind forward and know who I am now with A DHD, I think. Methamphetamines became my gateway and my safety, and it was, yeah, there. And then when some big emotional things happened, like my grandfather's death, I turned to that for an everyday usage and that's where my soul got rocked to the core. That's when I really started losing who I was and, and becoming miserable. Mm-hmm. A lot of people don't, they don't make, a lot of people I know. Do not make it through with meth, ice. So that, that's why I wanna bring it up. Yeah. Just because you went through it and you've come through the other side and turned into this inspiring human mother, partner, everything. Coach, what was your secret to getting outta that? The secret was keep looking. So I, you know, I knew I had a problem and everybody knows I've got a problem. Doesn't matter if it's sex addiction, drug addiction, alcohol, Bob, you all know it. Deep down, you know there's something to work on. Yeah. And I went to those same places that you said like you went to like psychologist and work. Mm-hmm. I went to the doctor. I, you know, went to drug and alcohol counseling when it got really bad. But I was still kind of hiding Pa pardon of me. Mom and dad didn't know. And when I spoke at, honestly. So number one, speaking your truth, like, you know, owning accountability of where you're at was the biggest point. And, you know, telling my mom and dad was a huge turning point, but I found a hypnotherapist. And that's why I'm a hypnotherapist. It's why I speak so well. It's 'cause I've continued to study the art of language. But having somebody hold space for me, which is what you do in your own modality and see, but ask the right questions. Every single human has their answers inside of them. And I just needed someone to help me find that click. When someone tells you something, oh, how you should do this and this and this, this is how you fix it. No, no one listens to that. It's like. What do you think you need? How can I hold space for you? Like all those questions and, and wherever you go in your unconscious journey, when you get that click and that flick from whatever it is, breath work, inner child, hypno, whatever, it works, the euphoric thing of your body going, oh, you're listening to me. Like, I knew then and there in that one session that I was gonna leave my ex-husband, I was gonna find my light, my tunnel and be sober with my kids. It didn't happen straight away, but I saw it. Yeah. I saw it. I didn't know I was gonna go study and be a hypnotherapist. Mm. But you know, it continued on and I was like, ah, yes, universe. I need to tell people my story. Mm. I need to show them that they can find it through other channels.'cause there are so many people out there struggling. Yeah. And when they do go and ask for help, they can't even get into, you know, um, yeah. Six month wait for psychology and that. Well, for psychology or even, um, I think, um, another friend just went into, what do you call it? Rehab. Rehab, yeah. Rehab. And like yeah. When you get to that point, you are, and I know I was, I was fucking suicidal. Mm-hmm. Like when you actually need it. So yeah, I highly, highly, highly recommend. There's some beautiful coaches that I do know as well, but addiction coach coaching is huge. Yeah. Yeah. And it led me to here. How many times have you been suicidal through life? Is that just one time? I would say three. Three main times. Yeah. And was it always during the drunk phase or was it after or before? Hmm. One was drinking as a teenager and that was just like no friends and stupidity. So I don't, I think it was more of a cry for help, but it was the first time that I did something stupid. Mm-hmm. Uh, the second time was getting sober. Like I fucking wanted to die. Like calm downs and getting sober. Yeah. Like af after ice, like that. I did need medication and I went to the doctors to get, um, antidepressants. Hmm. And one time, which I actually haven't even spoken about, but it was really, it was in the time that Abby cheated on me and she was just really, I was a fucking mess. Mm-hmm. Like I. Literally took tablets and then made myself warm up. Mm. I was not in a good place. Yeah. How'd you get through coaches? Coaches? Yeah. Every time. Every time. Like, you know, I, I, I feel like there is a also a, a divinity in, um, whatever you believe what, you know, source your guides, you know, this. Something where your soul just tells you, this is not for you. You need to stop, or you need to, like, there's, there's something where you listen to that. So I was like, what have you fucking done? Mm-hmm. And I'm not a vomiter like some people, you know, they can just, no. So anyway, I, and I just fucking owned it and took myself straight back to, to whoever. I can't even remember my coach was at the time. Mm-hmm. And that's the scariest fucking thing. Yeah. Isn't that when you actually like I, even though I've done this, you know, hundreds of times, every time I rock up to a coach, even if I'm in a good place, I get nervous. Yeah. It's normal. Rocking up to a Zoom because I'm like. What's gonna come up this time? What's gonna unravel, where am I at? And I went for a new coach, the other, the other week, and his breathwork session was phenomenal. But I still get nervous. Like, but when you come out of it, that's why I love, um, hold the stick and unconscious coaches because every time, like you go to a psychologist, sometimes you walk away feeling worse than what you started. Yeah, yeah. More suicidal. Yeah. Yeah. You go to a coach every fucking session, you walk out and you've. Nailed something or let something go or healed something and you feel a thousand times better. Yeah. That's why I so strongly believe in this world. Yeah. And that's why I like to bring it to kids. Mm-hmm. Because I don't want kid to be suffering in their twenties or thirties. Yeah. Play with them. Yeah. Teach them how to regulate. Teach them about anxiety and confidence and the rest. Yeah. What made you come become a kid's coach? Was it because of that you didn't, did you go through something as a kid that you don't want others to go? You helped me realize this. So when we were having a bad time Yeah. In realize in Queensland when you held that space for me, it was in the hotel room and I was like away from ab. Yep. Um, I came out and that was the puzzle piece that came to me. I was like, fuck my 7-year-old. Me. Who was that? People pleaser who didn't know who she was, who was bullied and, and not attractive and all the things. All the things I had in my head. Mm-hmm. She needed a coach because your parents, it doesn't resonate if your parents say, I love you, I'm proud of you. It's beautiful. Yeah. That's not the same, but when someone else holds face and 'cause, oh my God, Aaron just like, yeah. I feel you. You're so beautiful. I love you. Like it hits a different way. And so being a coach for a child, if they pick you and you're their mentor, holding space for them is such a gift. And I realized that that's what I needed. However, there is a twist to that. I thought. That's why I was like, you know, I'm a mama bear. I do it really well. I can make games for kids. Anything that's holistic. Aurora's just got diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, a month ago. And become quite challenging for me and Abi, which is, it is hard on our relationship 'cause it's hard to parent her when she's in her defiance mode and different things. And it's a completely different, um, behavior to what Jacob had. And I realized, and I did a little post about this today, that I created the kids coach. So I, and Abi and our family could have a wealth of knowledge and support as well going through this. Yeah. And we do, we have amazing, like coaches and teachers and. OTs and, and, and different kind of like therapists in our field that we can call on at any time. Hey, we're struggling with this with Aurora, so maybe my future self knew that Aurora was gonna challenge us. So yes. Past self. Yes. Inner child was like, you needed me. But future self like going, alright, you're really gonna need this. Yeah. You're really gonna need this. I believe in that. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Hey everyone, Nichole here, and I hope you're enjoying today's episode. I just wanna take a quick moment to talk to you all. If you're finding value in our conversations and loving the raw, honest dialogues we're having here, I've got a small favor to ask. This podcast is a passion project for me, and there's nothing I love more than bringing these stories and insights to you. So if you haven't already, would you consider subscribing to our show and leaving a review? It's completely free and it doesn't take much time, but it really helps us in two big ways. It's getting the podcast in front of more listeners, which keeps our community growing. It helps us attract more amazing guests, which means we give you more value in the episodes we bring to you. Just hit that subscribe button, drop us a review, and let's keep these conversations flowing. Now let's dive right back into our episode, and thanks so much of being a part of the Nichole's show. So if you could, actually, let's do that. If you could touch into your future self. Mm-hmm. Your, your, your guy up there. Mm-hmm. Future Aaron. Where is he? Like where is he pulling you to now? Like what are the messages he's been sending you and where is he driving you and pulling you to and sending all these like frequencies, like what is future Aaron? Interesting. I was just talking to Crystal about this. There is a little crossroads at the moment in my future self. I do feel like he's pulling me. Yeah. Where's he pulling you to? I think he's pulling me into, um. Um, similar, I'm, I'm always gonna be what I am, which is I love coaching, teaching, and guiding people, but I think it's gonna shift directions a bit, potentially more into, more away from not the feminine stuff, but also a bit of a mix, like more, uh, potentially business stuff, helping people with their mindset and business and, and in a childhood business, something, it's something towards entrepreneurship and helping entrepreneurs or something. I don't know what it is yet. I don't know. But I'm getting that tug. Yes. And I dunno why. So I'm gonna, I'm, I've been sitting with it. I love that because I just love it and, and I've been working in this 5G realm and, and calling my future self. The funny thing is, um. It is really powerful when you play with some of these modalities. Like don't call it in, don't pay attention if you're not ready to do the work. Yeah. And it's scary, right? Yeah. Because you dunno what it is. I actually said to abs and abs, if you're listening to this, I love you. And it was not meant to land this way. And you know, it wasn't. But my coach at the moment, she's like, don't do the work if you're not prepared.'cause shit's gonna change. And so I've been doing this frequency work. I've been smashing it in business. I've been doing all my rituals, changing some things up, changing my vibe, and I feel super passionate and energized for business and, and life and everything. And, you know, um, I just said to abs, I said, I'm, this is actually scary 'cause my coach is going through something and a big transformation. I said, I'm scared of outgrowing you. Mm-hmm. And again, like we speak really honestly, and I know that landed harshly, it wasn't meant to. What I'm fearful of is her not growing with me. Mm. And that was the concept. And having those conversations, because when you start doing the work, things do shift here. Yeah. What does that look like? What does that, like say someone doesn't know what you mean by our growing? What does that actually look like in a relationship? So for me, like I have in previous. Relationships, friendship, being told I'm too much or, um, you always want more. And that's a bad thing. And now I really own that. Yes, I do want more, like I, I, I can see myself, you know, traveling and building this business and building the thing and maybe living in Bali at some point and growing and growing and growing and calling in more in, in the poly world and just in love in general. Like I really see that abundance grow. Mm-hmm. And for me, just my normal people pleaser. My insecurities is what if I push too far and it's not right for ab? Yeah. Or what if I outgrow, or what if I wanna do this? And where my growth goes. It's not in alignment for her. And what I, I mean, and I know she will always be my life.'cause I feel that my future self just really wants to grow with her. Yeah. You know? As a team. As a team. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think it's really important in any relationship, even friendships. Mm. To continue to grow in that.'cause you're always evolving. Like that person has to meet you on a new level. Do you believe monogamous can work at all or is it a hundred percent? I do. Do you believe like some can work, some are just meant to be poly at. What's your theory on that? I think that you decide in your heart what is right for you. Mm. I think if you're doing it out of fear, 'cause I hear so many people say, oh, I could never be poly because I'm too jealous. I could never do this because of this, and I would never Mm. If you're coming at it from a fear place, of course. Yeah. Of course. I have done a lot of like study on it and I believe in the tribal way in having a community, in having experiences and sharing. Families and different things and, and that growth and getting it, as I said, probably doesn't always have to mean intimacy, but sharing a lot of your life instead of being isolated. Yeah. Um, but I, you know, I, if people, I respect everybody's boundaries. If you are calling in your queen or your king and you choose not to share that intimacy, and that's your connection, and I've heard of, you know, people having amazing spicy lives forever and really connecting in that deep way, if that's what you choose. Mm. If you solely choose that, and that's what you really want outta someone. For me? No, just not, not for me. Have you thought about being a sex therapist? I think you should. At some. I would love to at some point. Some at some point. You need to do that. I think. I think that I'm just very open and you know, again, that's why I created the Nichole show. This is not for the kids. Like I, I was really, it was another element of me. Speaking my truth, and I went from kids, like the kids coach, and I hid my pole dancing. I hid, you know, the bearer workshops that I used to do, like down at Malins. I hid a lot of parts of. Nichole that made Nichole and Nichole and then my relationship stuff as well, like going, like working on Kundalini energy and with sex therapists and the rest, but every single facet of me, if every part of me is, is thriving mm, then the energetics go somewhere. If there's a part of you that you are denying or shunning or, or compromising for or or being feeling guilty about and pushing down, that does come up at some point. Mm-hmm. And it does have a deep. You know, opening and finding people that you can totally trust and open up to that are not gonna judge you is the key. I'm sure at some 0.1 of my videos or one of my things is gonna go viral. I'm sure I'm manifesting that and I will get judged, but I am working on myself so much that when that time does come, that I'll have the tools and resources to go, who cares? Yeah. Who cares? Yeah. Because this is what I'm doing and fuck, I've got a great sex life. I've got a great relationship. I have the best marriage. I have amazing children. I have the best kids, and they are growing into evolved and my business is growing and I'm so fucking proud of it. Mm. So judge me. Yeah. So judge me. Yeah. I was on the news years ago. I went on, um, did you know that I was on the news? I saw that in the thing. Yeah. So I don't know the full story of it though. Yeah. Well, when I had my gym, I put out the post, it was controversial, went viral, and then the daily male contacted me, said they want to, it was, it was kind of, I was labeled as a fat shame, which is funny 'cause I'm not really that. But, um, it was worded that way. And I got, I went into the media, all the, all the papers and all that, had to do interviews and get my side of the story. But then the project messaged me and said they want me on the show that night, basically to get my side of the story and. They basically wanted to drag me through the mud, of course. And that during that time, it made me realize that no matter what you do, if you've got an opinion, people are gonna hate you, but people will love you too. If you are pleasing everyone, you're not being true a hundred percent. So, so I was having death threats. I had thousands, I had, I had phone calls all throughout the night for about two weeks. I had death threats and everything from. Men, women from a comment. Yeah, yeah. From a post and, um, you know, um, but you get support too. So what you're saying is like you, yeah, you're gonna, you're gonna get hate of course. For you. I'm not for everybody. No, I'm not saying that. I'm for everybody. Yeah. I get judged sometimes by having photos of me and Crop Top and, you know, and the pole shorts with kids. You know, I keep things very separate. In regard to what's appropriate for age levels and the rest. But I am so diverse, and I think that is a, is a quality of mine. That's what I was here to do. And that does gimme the capacity of unconditional love because I've been in so many circumstances that I now, which I judge myself for. I don't judge others for. Um, and yeah, like I just wanna open people's eyes Yeah. You, and know that if you're listening to this and any. Part of one of our stories is, you know, relevant that they're not alone. Yeah.'cause for a long time I did feel alone. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I was bullied when I was younger and didn't think I was worthy and, you know, didn't really have any friends or, you know, now I know that I'm worthy of those friendships. I know that I'm worthy of love. I know that I'm actually worthy of speaking my truth. And all human beings just wanna be loved. And accepted and forgiven, which is why I believe in the hop prop, pono, pono so much is keeping that mantra close to your heart. Yeah. Love and forgiveness for all, especially to yourself. Mm. Especially to yourself. Yeah. That's so funny that people thought you were a fashion name considering how you grew up as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't know the full story, but, you know, it was, it, it opened my eyes to human behavior. Mm. And, um, the media and everything. But the biggest thing was actually allowing people to hate me and actually sleep at night. Fine. Yeah, knowing that, and what I was getting at was, as long as you are speaking the truth, you, you have the strength to stand in fire. Do you know what I mean? So if you're being real, 'cause I, for me, I was being real to what I believed and I stood in the fire because I believed in it and I was okay. Yeah. You know, and, and I know that you are the same. Like you stand in your truth and you would be fine if it went viral. And people, 'cause you believe in yourself. Yeah. You know, some people don't and they crumble. They can crumble if one person doesn't believe it and then they backtrack on what they're saying.'cause we have a fear of being, um, rejected by loved ones and, and society. So we don't stand our truth. And then we end up beating ourselves up and hating ourselves deep down. Oh, I've definitely been there and especially in my teenage years and, and twenties and stuff, had no idea of any kind of moral compass or who I wanted to show up in the world as. So it's really nice and, and that's again why I. I do what I do. I really hope that nobody ever feels that, that pain of loneliness. Well, you're very good at that. You are very good at, um, not judging people. That's how, what, what I was saying before I judge, let's be real. I judge, I do, I compare and I judge and then I take count. I count on myself and go, hang on. What, how would it be from that person's eyes? What do they need? How do I do it? Blah, blah, blah. And then I retract. Yes. Every human being judge. All judge. I'm not. I am not perfect judge. We all judge for sure, and then I pull myself back and go, Ooh, you're very good. Why did I do that? You're very good at coming back to love though. A hundred percent. So I'll rephrase it. You're you judge. I get your question. So do I. But your ability to come back to love is very good. Yeah. And hold space. Yeah.'cause you know, the biggest thing was when I first a, uh, announced, not announced, but went to seek help. One of the, the psychologists was very young, very fresh outta uni. And she literally leaned back in her chair further and further, and her mouth got wider and wider.'cause you know how open I am. I was even must my twenties were bad. And she, she just had no life experience and she could not help me. She couldn't write a referral fast enough. And I was, yeah, I felt bad and I. More alone. And it doesn't matter what her client has said to me. And it has happened many a time that somebody has blown my mind with whatever the thing that they've brought to me. Mm. But never once hand in my heart have I ever shown that. I'm like, awesome. How we work on that. Yeah. You know, and just like let it process. Like of course there's a judgment. I've had fear in my head like, oh fuck, what do I do that? You know? But I trust my heart. Yeah. And I get out the way and I hold space from that place. Yeah. You come back to your heart very well. That's what you do very well. Yeah. It's, and that's why I teach, and that's why I love, and it's, it's on my website. I really believe that unconditional love is one of my superpowers. If you, you know, go and think about it. And the funny thing was, I only found out last year that pink is unconditional love. Is it? Mm. I was like, no wonder my hair's pink. No wonder my logos are pink. No wonder I'm drawn to pink. But it's, it's actually unconditional love. Mm-hmm. So. That's why I'm pink. I remember first seeing you. That's the first thing I've seen. I was like, fuck, who the hell was that? I love her energy. It's a big energy. And fuck me. That hair is so pink. It was great. I couldn't, you know, I could not see her. You just stand out. Yeah. And you know what the funniest thing is though? And the thing that I've been working on most lately is the fear of being seen, like deeply seen. Mm-hmm. Mm. Because we want it. We wanna be seen, but when we get it, we push it away. Oh fuck. It scares the shit out. We, yeah, we deeply want it. Do you know, even Crystal said how much she loved me the other day, like full, like a deep Yes. And I had to get up and do something my, and I unpacked it later. I was like, oh my God, why can I hold space for people? It's all the time and, and do that. And then something so beautiful, it wasn't, she was, wasn't angry at me or anything. I probably could have held space for that better. She was deeply seeing me and holding such beautiful space and loving on me that I just wanted to run. And I was like, fuck yeah, there it is again. I don't wanna be seen. Like she sees all of me and I just recalled. I was like, okay, that's, yeah. And so it's come up in a few different places in relationships and different things, and. In my business too. So yeah. How you do everything, how you do one thing is how you do everything. Yeah. I was actually thinking of that today. It's so funny. Like literally half an hour ago this, I was thinking about this. It's not so much we say we wanna be loved. We, we say we want deep connection. True. But if you look around you, you, you've actually got access to more than you think. Mm-hmm. But we block it because if you actually got the love that you wanted mm-hmm. People, you would freak out. So it's not about, it's not there. It's there. Yes. Right. You're more, you, you feel more comfortable with getting people treating you like shit or Yes. Or rejecting you because that feels safer than, or getting angry at you or getting angry at than actually opening up to love. If you opened up to love, you would all freak out. So we all freak out too. You gotta get better at receiving love. Correct. That's the hardest fucking thing. It is. It's harder than it was just, yeah. We're unpacking. It's harder than holding space for anger or other emotions like we think Oh. You know, I'm such a furry person. I'm so angry, I'm so sad, or whatever it is, and you are like, okay, let's unpack that. Let's work on where those came from. But now I've worked on that. It's like, ah, fuck, it's receiving. It's the receiving of the love. It's receiving love. And do you know what I worked at the other day is that I'm calling in and'cause I have, and I'm full honesty, like fluctuations with business and finances. It's the receiving of love. Like money is love. Yeah. Yeah. Money is an energetic way of receiving love. And if I'm rejecting that and fully being seen. Of course there's blocks. Yep. How you do one thing, self-sabotage, how you do everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the, it's the biggest thing. And, and you have ev everyone actually has love around them, even in the, maybe you've got a bad family situation, but, and then look at, look around. It's there somewhere, but we like to pretend it's not there. And it comes from within. It does come, yeah. Well, of course. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna start at first, it starts within Correct. A hundred percent and then you, then you can open up to receive it. Yeah, a hundred percent. And I think that that's how we. You know, cultivated these friendships. Yeah. Because we we're chipping away at it. Yeah. We are not fully there yet. Yeah. We're there. Come on, we're there. We're pretty close. We're pretty close. But that's why in relationships there's always push pull, you know, whether someone, someone's pulling away and someone's trying to get the, get the love from them. And then when this person stops pulling away and goes towards this person, no, because it, yeah. Oh, fucking, I don't want that. That's what, you know, it's a push pull. It's the, um, what is it called? What is that called? It's attachment styles too. Yeah. Yeah. But it's the, um, the magnetism and the, and the clarity polarity. That's, yeah. Clarity. The clarity of it all. There's the word I wanted. Yeah. So if you, well, if you could share something with the viewers that you think that they need to know today. Yep. What do you think it would be like? You know, they're listening to us and some of this may have made sense and some might not have. Yeah. But for somebody listening, what do you think that could help them? Some practical, um, let me tune in to who's listening. Um, yeah. I think it would be what we are talking about. This is what I've been realizing. It's. It's about getting good at receiving, which is crazy, but if we can just work on receiving love, I honestly think it's, it's, it sounds almost cliche, hey, but receiving love is actually one of the biggest things you can work on. It really is. You can do all the work. You can do everything, but if you can't receive love or receive money or receive support, help, help, it's. You're gonna go around circles and you're gonna be a people pleaser, and then you're gonna resent other people, and then you can go to more coaches and more psychologists and go around in circles until you get better at receiving. Mm-hmm. So I'd say that's the theme of the day for me to share. Mm-hmm. Which is because, yeah, it, it's funny, like I said, you know, back in that time, I'm being deeply like. Seeing me, and even, even times like, I've let you see me cry. That sounds bad because I don't cry front love. But letting somebody love you in that darkness, letting somebody in, like, you know, and I said, you know, I feel broken with the a DH adhd. And you're like, and I'm like, just love me. And like, I am like, yeah, but I just need you to love me. And like, but I am. And it's because it's that circle. It's that block. Yeah. I think I need something. And it's fucking there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, but I'm, but it's, I'm not receiving it. Yeah. Yeah. You're actually like my whole heart's here, Nichole. Yeah. And I'm like, but, but no. Yeah. And I think, I think going on with that, I, when I look back at my dark times, like dark night of the souls, and if I go actually into the nitty gritty, if I go into the moment, what was I doing? I was normally overworking. And while was I working well, I was trying to get the money, why was I trying to get the money?'cause I wanted to be worthy enough. Yeah, what was I doing? I was also people pleasing with a partner back then.'cause I wanted them to see me as worthy. It all come back to being worthy. And what does that really mean was that I was trying to work for love instead of re just receiving how I was and, and the worthiness I already had. It's kind of like, uh, it is a bit cliche, but just loving yourself. That's it. Comes back to that every time. Yeah. Every single time I go around circles, I come back to. I'm not fucking loving myself. That's actually what's going on. I think it's the outside world. I think it's the money. I think it's that person's fault person. Yeah. I'll blame that person. The situation. The situation. And you know, but if you go into nitty gritty, actually I'm not loving myself and I'm not allowing love to come in and receive love from others and towards myself. Mm. So, so practice, we forget it and we relearn it. We forget it. We relearn it. Yeah. So, so interesting. So if you are in like a dark spot, you know, I. Have you been overdoing for people? Are you sick of people? Are you burning out? Are you sick of being, um, the support for everyone else? But deep down you're feeling deflated. It's probably something to do with that, that you're not receiving your own love and, and, and other people's love and support. Mm, I love that. And please know that, you know, we are a wealth of knowledge, like we're both coaches as well. We also, I forgot to mention, we've worked together well as a team. We mentor and look after Yes. Young children as well and teenagers. Um, so Aaron is also a great youth mentor. So bringing this, you know, the, the men's, the, you know, the philosophies to our, to our team voice. Where was I going with that? Just saying how amazing I am. We are just saying, letting the love in. Kids. Getting the love in. That's right. Hundred percent. Um, but we, we don't necessarily say that we have all the answers either. And so we are a wealth of knowledge and we've worked with hundreds of coaches ourselves. Mm-hmm. So, um, we know people right across Australia. Um, if you have any questions and you'd like Aaron back on, I'd love to go into probably some more of your dark night to the song, maybe another episode. Yeah. Um, and, you know, really just shining light on some of the dark places, but if you need any help, our socials are below and we can always, you know, refer you or, you know, send you somewhere that sounded wrong. But you, hopefully they got what I meant. Just go with it. Sounds great. Um, I'm gonna wrap it up there guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Nichole Show. Let's, maybe this one goes viral. You never know. Let's manifest that. Get ready for the love and hate and hate, mainly the, mainly the hate. And that's okay. That's okay. But I am honestly sending unconditional love to every single person's ears that this lands on. And I'll continue to do this work. And uh, bye for now.