Teen Voices Matter: Exploring Coping Strategies for School and Life

Are you curious about how young people really feel about mental health, school challenges, and building self-worth in today’s world? 

In this episode, we invited Flick—a wise and insightful 17-year-old—to share her authentic perspective on growing up, navigating peer pressure, and finding real strategies for emotional well-being.

You’ll discover how our unique approach to youth coaching, including simple tools like dance parties, music, and safe spaces, helps young people move through tough emotions and discover their own inner strength. 

Flick opens up about what she wishes schools knew about mental health, the power of supportive environments, and the real difference it makes when teens have a say in choosing their mentors.

By the end of the episode, you’ll gain a fresh understanding of youth’s challenges and take away practical tips to help yourself or young people you care about feel seen, empowered, and more resilient.

Connect with Nichole Hamilton:

Website: https://www.thekidzcoach.com.au/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nichole.hamilton.587
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekidzcoach_nichole_hamilton/

Want to be a guest on The Nichole Show?
Email: thenicholeshow@gmail.com

Transcript

0:01

Welcome back guys to the Nicole Show with a very special guest speaker. It's my first ever. Well, teenager slash youth client of mine that I've invited in to really speak from their hearts and their perspective on the coaching work and the things that youth need. Beautiful. Felicity has known me for a very long time. And in this conversation we, I really just ask what our youth need. It's something that I hear and see from many schools, many different versions, and Felicity has such a beautiful emotional intelligence and really speaks from the heart. So please hold some space and get right in. This is a child youth friendly podcast on The Nichole Show. Welcome aboard the Nicole Show with host Nicole Hamilton. Our task is to educate, empower, and change lives. Join us for stories of resilience and rebirth, honest talks that inspire and challenge you. Are you ready to make a move? It begins now. Begins now. Hello my beautiful souls and welcome back. To the Nicole show. This podcast is going to be a little different today and I'm super excited, uh, to have my very first youth child. She's not a child, she's 17. This is Flick everybody. Um, and what I was with the original Nicole show that the intention's the same, you know, bringing, um. Messages and information so that you don't feel alone. But my forte, my niche, my passion is working with families and children and youth to coach them through their emotions. Uh, anything that they need help with. And flick was one of my, well. Probably not og about middle, middle of my career so far. About three years ago, four years ago, 13, 14, we started working together and I thought it'd be a really beautiful way to, to break the ice and just talk about kids coaching, uh, and holistic healing from a youth's pers perspective. And I'll say youth 'cause you're not a child in our, in our minds until everyone's 18 in Australia. You, you know your children. Yeah. But I would love to know. Very first question for you, Blake, is why did you pick me? Uh, well, when we were doing stuff,'cause my mom introduced me to you. Mm-hmm. And then we talked about it. Um, and my mom was like, oh, so what do you think of Nicole? And I was like, oh, she's really cool. Like, I like, um, all the stuff that she was doing when we, when like I met her, um, she was like, okay, well do you wanna like see her more often? And I was like, hell yeah, let's do that. Oh, beautiful. And that's one of the biggest things. And you know, I, I believe. It should be adopted. Like that's my projection. It should be adopted for most coaches and and anybody working within their own business and have the refines to do so. Teachers and, and doctors don't have that range, but ask a child, empower them to make a choice for their mentor, for their person that they wanna work with, for the coaching club that they wanna go into, whether it's sporting or. Whether it is a counselor or whatever else, there are so many beautiful practitioners out there, and I don't have an ego and belief that I'm the best one for everybody, but by giving, uh, a child, doesn't matter if they're 7, 13, 17, even a choice to have another mentor outside of their family is a really beautiful place. Somebody that's, you know, safe and trustworthy and has the right kind of. Values and morals for your, for your business. And so I, I find it an absolute honor. Like I love working with your mom. I love working with, uh, women and you know, parents. But when the, when a child and a, a youth picks me, it's so, so beautiful. So I would love to know what, um, yeah, what you liked. The first child that I've actually had on the elder youth. But what did you like in the session? So what do you suggest that I do more of or, I liked that, um, 'cause it was like, uh, the very first session after meeting you that we did, um, you were like, you put on some music and you were like, come on, let's just dance. All the like bad energy out. And I really liked that. That was fun. Um, and at first I was like, oh, this is kind of stupid. And then like, we actually started like being silly and it was great. Um. Oh, I love that. I do forget to do dance parties. You know, a dance party can be done just by yourself, and it is a really good way for moving energy. I did it maybe a week or so ago in here when I was doing my inner child, and it's probably something that I need to remember to do. We might have to have one after this dance party. Um, but it was really fun. And, and then like, we had like, like we had like, girl, it was like, um, it's like go like. Sort of reset yourself, ready to talk about stuff and then talk about stuff. Um, and then see what the conversation takes you to do whatever. Yeah, I love that. And I do love having those beautiful conversations with you guys to help. Um, so what in, and we won't go into any of your stuff 'cause that's all personal, but what do you think, and especially now that we're, you know, reconnecting, what do you think that some of the biggest. Challenges that, you know, teenagers and kids do come across that they do need help with? Probably like, I don't think that peer, peer peer pressure is an issue, but I think the pressure of what other people will think of you at a more general thing. Yeah. Um, it's like. It was like, for example, um, vaping being really popular and stuff like that. Um, people are like, oh, well, you know, I just vape because like everyone else is doing it, but everyone else isn't actually doing it. It's just become this like rumor or like this trend. Yeah. Hmm. And it's like, well maybe just don't. I love that you have the concept and the willpower for that and some people probably don't. I think, um, you know when I was, that's why I'm back the clock guys. When I was a teenager. God, uh, it was smoking 'cause obviously smoking was a thing, you know, behind the toilet blocks and behind the, the toilet sheds away from the teachers, but it was never something I was never interested in. Um, I do know a lot of teenagers that have, you know, vaped because it was, it's so easy and it also so addictive and, you know, tastes good. Not like smoking and the rest. But I'm really curious of what you said there about worrying about what other people think of you. I. Hmm. You think that everybody struggles with that? No, definitely not. Everyone, everyone has bit different. It sort of depends on your own experiences as to how you interpret that as well. Yeah, because like, um, it's like, for example, some of my friends, they're like, dude, if, if someone vapes like. That isn't really gonna strain our relationship.'cause I don't wanna be friends with someone who's like following the trend and doing something that they know is bad for them and blah, blah, blah. And then I have other friends who are like, I genuinely don't care if you vapes. Like go ahead, do what you want. It's like, just don't like push it on me and you can do what you want. Like it does not affect me. I'm so intrigued. These are such beautiful, intelligent conversations and such great boundaries that you've established to be able to have that concept of like, yeah, if you're not pushing it on me. As long as it doesn't involve me, I'm all good about it. Yeah. Some people are like, no, it crosses my values. I don't really wanna be around that. So that's not for me. Um, that is actually really, really cool. But the other thing is I actually think that everybody struggles with self-belief and self-worth, and I think that the school system, and again, in my perception, it's really hard because. You're in a place that you don't get to pick that you have to show up with, with either 30 students in your class or a hundred in your year level, that you have to be around almost every day for however long. Yeah. And then you've got social media. I and 44 I still struggle with sometimes, not all the time now, but comparison, imposter syndrome, am I good enough? Should I show up today? Like all of those things. And yet it's compounded at school because. Some of those people won't be your friends anymore. You've gotta find somebody to hang out with. You have to have a safety net somewhere. And the perpetuation of all being compared and all learning the same and it all being graded like it, it act actually does. Um. At tribute to some of the conditioning of self-worth. I remember in primary school not having friends. I remember like, so I probably remember all the bad things. I remember a teacher telling me that my handwriting was messy. Like I remember all these little bad things that made me feel innately not good enough. Mostly from school. Yeah. So I, I, that's what I believe, but I really love the fact that you have such a good perspective. Do you think, and I, and again, it's been a long time I've worked in the school system, but it's been a long time since I've been in any schools and every school is different, every teacher are different. But what do you think that could be done better at school? Like what do you think you guys need more of? More, I think an understanding of how, um. Racism and ableism actually impacts other people. And I know it's something that like, it's of, uh, really often it's like, oh, great, we're having another racism presentation, we're having another bullying presentation, we're having another vaping presentation, whatever it is. Um, but for a lot of people it's like, it's like those things. It's like they're hoping that it'll get through. Like someone, um, it's like I remember we had a, um, racism, uh, presentation at school a couple years ago and. Um, it's like everyone, like the entire time in the classroom were just like joking around, being silly about it. Um, and then like there was a couple of people who like, clearly they actually thought this was gonna like, get through to someone or whatever. Um, they were just sort of sitting there like, yeah, you guys can keep laughing and doing what you want. When you, when you have those presentations, are there, are you guys getting outside speakers in to give like, um, perspective on that or is that just delivered by the own teachers of the school? Um, it sort of depends, but generally speaking both.'cause like sometimes there'll be a teacher and a guest speaker, or there'll be two guest speakers or there'll be two teachers. Mm-hmm. Hey everyone, Nicole here, and I hope you're enjoying today's episode. I just wanna take a quick moment to talk to you all. If you're finding value in our conversations and loving the raw, honest dialogues we're having here, I've got a small favor to ask. This podcast is a passion project for me, and there's nothing I love more than bringing these stories and insights to you. So if you haven't already, would you consider subscribing to our show and leaving a review? It's completely free and it doesn't take much time, but it really helps us in two big ways. It's getting the podcast in front of more listeners, which keeps our community growing. It helps us attract more amazing guests, which means we give you more value in the episodes we bring to you. Just hit that subscribe button, drop us a review, and let's keep these conversations flowing. Now let's dive right back into our episode, and thanks so much of being a part of the Nicole's show. It sort of depends on if it's like, uh, in, during your, um, like home group, mentor group, whatever. Um, or if it's like during an assembly where they have like someone important come in, speak up from like Headspace or, um, I. I can't think of anything else off the, of my head. Head right now. But's. Okay. What do you think the best ones are like, like the most impactful things that have come, like come to the school like that, you know, public speakers.'cause that's something that I think I would love to do, but, and also encouraged for people to have those like role models and mentors. What do you think, like what are the, like the best ones that you've seen so far? Uh, the best ones I've seen so far, there were these people from. Um, this, I can't remember what the company's called. They have the Aboriginal name and they talk to all the Aboriginal students about, um, like the history of, um, like trading. Tobacco for other things with aboriginal people before, sorry. During like, while, like Australia was just being colonized and they talk about the impacts. And then they also have a do a va do vaping presentation, um, like alongside all the smoking stuff. And they, they bring in all these, uh, chemicals and stuff and they're like, so this nail polish remover is actually a lot of vapes and this dishwashing liquid is literally in some and Oh wow. Like they, they point out. All the different stuff that's in it, um, in them and things like that. And I think that having a visual representation, like of like things that are harmful actually um, makes sense. Yeah. To more to other kids. But it sort of also depends on the kids you're talking to.'cause um, it's really hard to have a very, to try and give up to a broad audience when. Like at school, you have like your social groups where it's, you know, those are the cool kids or those are the weird kids, or those are the kids that don't talk to anyone else or Yeah, like people don't necessarily, aren't necessarily in those groups, um, that much, but, um, quite frequently a lot of people my age like tend to cat, cat. Characterize, yeah, characterize people, um, and put them into specific boxes or specific categories just in their head, and that sort of changes how they see that person instead of just getting to know that person. They do a hundred percent. They do. A hundred percent they do. And also on the reverse side, we also categorize ourselves and try and fit into different boxes and categories depending on Yeah, exactly. Depend, depending on where we are. But I love that. So visuals good.'cause that'll, that's gonna help me for some of the things coming up for me, going into different communities and different places to speak. But, uh, yeah, I love that. And I guess. For me, bringing, um, you know, emotional intelligence, different kind of, uh, ways of moving emotions through the body, uh, getting that, you know, sense of self-worth, like working on that. I think we even did mirror work, didn't we? I think we did some mirror work, like learning how to like, really love on ourselves, like that's so important. Stuff that's not taught at schools. Um, what else do you think that, that you guys are actually. Looking for as, as a, you know, we're putting in a category here, a generalization or needing help with, because from when I was a kid, again, very different. Like you guys have social media, you have different forms to connect on. If the school system's changed a little over the time, what do you think that if you, if you could have something else in your life, whether it was a, an app, a resource, um, something else that would really help. Your emotions or mental health, what do you think would be, would be helpful? Um, well, um, I remember. Because I moved schools. Um, but at the school that I was at for most of my high school before I've moved to the school I'm currently at, uh, we had something called the learning hub. And it was a mental health space. Um, and it was really great to be able to go in there and calm down. Um, but the, the issue only issue with it is that there was the kids who were quite clearly abusing the fact that they had a mental health plan or, um, like they would use their disability as an advantage. Um. Instead of like actually going there to get the help that they know they need. Yeah. Um, because they wanna fit into their, into their little box that they know everyone's already put them in or they think everyone's already put them in because you don't really know. Correct. I've got many labels. I've got, you know, many labels apart from just Nicole. I get it. But I think that really good awareness flick like so, such, such, so you're so emotionally intelligent. But there are people that will always, um. Play on their labels and then, and yeah. And, and what, what they've been given to get away with things or get out of class or do different things. Yeah. But yeah, a, a beautiful, you know, learning hub, that, that does provide a mental health safe space and some extra options for people. I think that's really, really beautiful. When, when I went in there, um, and like those people who. Like tend to just do what they want and like use it to get outta class or something like that. Um, when I actually got, got to go in there and those people weren't in there or they didn't go in there the entire time in there, which it's always amazing. Um, it's like, it's actually a really good space. I. Um, and it's definitely helpful, but I feel like it shouldn't just be for people who have mental health struggles or like have autism. Like I feel like it should be for everyone because everyone's struggling with different stuff. A hundred percent. Um, because you had to have, they had this thing called learning hub plan and you have to like have your parents sign it and all that sort of thing. But like for some people it's like they don't want to talk to their parents about their issues, so they just want to like, um. I'm trying to think of the word right. Words. Um, but they just wanna like, um, like have that space for everyone once in a while if they ever need it for whatever reason, to just sort of cool down instead of going, Hey miss, can I go to the bathroom? And then just walk around the school for 20 minutes. Yeah. Make it a lot more accessible. Make sure that it's a, um, an availability to everyone. And you don't have to go through the, the rigmarole of getting a, a. A learning hub plan or having it in your thing or having that discussion. Yeah. I love that. Maybe people should have, um, like a, uh, like a, like a pass for school where it is a five minute breath or a five minute, um, mental health check or wellbeing check where you could just go breathe. Yeah, like, just like a regulation check. Oh, that'd be so cool. A little regulation check where you just go, you know, you've got five minutes to go breathe. Or, that's the worst thing though because, and I, and I firmly believe this. For anybody watching there? Any parents, anything, anybody. Teachers going through those struggles. Kids will learn better when they're regulated. If they're being bullied or they don't have any friends that day or something's going on at home, there's absolutely no way that. You can learn. You can't absorb that thing if you're feeling dysregulated, if you're feeling upset or angry that day. And so coming back, you know, into this world that we're so overwhelmed in having these places and spaces to have these proper conversations, having someone to help you regulate someone to have a dance party with someone to go to a learning hub or having a breathing space is literally so helpful. I personally. Every single day make sure that I move my body. I'm a DHD. If I don't move my body for a couple of days, I'm definitely starting my day, way crankier. I also use like smells'cause I love sensory. So I'm just gonna give you guys some tips here. Smells are really, really good. So if you have a smell, so at the moment I'm used to wear all my essential oils. At the moment I'm wearing, um, my wife's off to shake 'cause it makes me feel like while she's away, I miss. So I've got like a smell on me that helps me calm down. I personally love Paleo Santo, which is something that you can like to calm energies down in your home, but I highly recommend like lavender and different smells. Um, taking a little breath, like when I'm super dysregulated, like if I'm at that heightened state, I'll put on a YouTube or something and go and actually take some big breaths. And when I'm feeling like. Super sad or whatever, that breathing, going through those breaths, no one wants to be told this, by the way. So it's something you gotta do yourself. Someone tells you to go breathe when you're upset. It's the worst thing to say. Yeah. But if you go choose to go take some breaths, your nervous system will relax. And I, yeah. I firmly believe in having like little places and spaces like this, you know, if you have YouTubes or um, podcasts, there's so much available that you guys can just Google. It's something of your interest to, to keep you, you know, motivated and happy. Um, so yeah, what are your tips? Do you have any like songs or YouTubes or things that you do to help that you think other, um, teenagers or whatever might not know about? I think for me it sort of, um, depends on what the issue is. It's like if I'm just feeling generally overwhelmed from like, like the, like the stress of like just having a lot going on at that time or having like the everyday it's like. Like when I'm going to bed night, I like to, um, put on like my Spotify playlist. Um, typically stuff, the stuff that I want in my Spotify rap because need to make sure the Spotify rap's good. Mm-hmm. Um, but like, I like to put on a playlist with like anywhere between like five, 500 songs, um, to and. Of just a bunch of songs I like and just have the lights off, have it, um, on dark mode 'cause I have it on my tv. Um, and then just sort of like lay in bed and not necessarily go to sleep. Just like, yeah. But sort of like, like give myself a moment to breathe before I just, like, before I decide to go to sleep. I love that. Yeah. So, and you have different playlists for different things? Uh, no I don't, but I do have a lot of different playlists that I like go in between. Yeah. So sometimes I'll just play my liked songs 'cause I dunno what I feel like listening to. Other times I'll um, just put on Billie Ish 'cause she's my favorite artist. Uh, other times I'll put on, um, a small playlist, big playlist. Um. I love that, where it plays with a lot of sad songs or it plays with a lot of angry songs. Yeah, I do that too. Yeah. I love that. Music is the key guys. Honestly, we're gonna go do a dance party in a minute. I think we're just gonna shake it out. Um, I highly recommend that. But yeah, Spotify is your best friend. You can even Google like rage if you're raging. I used to play, so this was funny. I, I do remember this from our childhood. Rage against the machine and it was an old band guys, but when I was really angry at my parents and I didn't have any like freedom.'cause obviously when you live at home and you're still working out. So I'd play my most raget music with all the swear words that I could in my bedroom as loud as I could because it would help me get rid of some of my anger. Um, but yeah, you can listen to sad ones. You can listen to some. There's some amazing healing ones. I have a healing playlist. Anybody wants any of my ticks, tips and trips about paleo santo breath work, uh, different, um, healing songs. Dance parties, anything else you guys can message underneath? And if anybody else would love to be on the podcast, I'm particularly looking for kids that wanna talk about mental health and just different things that can be really shared for youth, whether it's play or game-based. I would love to have you on and yeah, if you like this podcast, you can definitely share it and. Subscribe and yeah, we are just here to help. Is there anything else that you wanna share today? Lik not, I think of, no. It's been really, really cool. Like at first. Youth to chat to getting some different perspectives. You've given me some ideas for schools. So schools look out. I'm gonna be hitting up the public speaking, uh, realm and um, yeah. Thanks for listening to the Nicole Show.