Lens of Leadership: A Ted Lasso Rewatch Podcast

First Impressions | S1E1

• Nick • Season 1 • Episode 1

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Have you ever walked into a room and felt the weight of a first impression pressing down on you? Join Marnie Stockman and Nick Coniglio as we unpack the power of first impressions through taking a deep dive of the pilot episode of Ted Lasso. From the antics of AFC Richmond to our own tales from business, we look at the nuances of new leadership roles and the undeniable influence of first encounters. We unravel the psychological intricacies of the primacy and halo effects, giving you a front-row seat to the leadership styles and personalities of characters like Rebecca and Ted, and how these initial impressions can impact the journey to success.

We dissect Ted Lasso's infamous press conference fiasco and how his unfaltering positivity serves as his compass. Can a bad first impression be redeemed? We bring in wisdom from a Harvard study and lay out strategies leaders can use to turn the tide. The importance of supporting characters like Coach Beard and Higgins isn't lost on us. For commentary on these beloved characters, LeadItLikeLasso.com remains your go-to spot. Tune in as we challenge our own initial judgments and reassess character scores on John Wooden's pyramid of success, affirming that impressions, much like our very own leadership tactics, are ever-evolving.

Marnie Stockman:

Welcome to the Ted Lasso rewatch podcast, lens of Leadership.

Show Clip:

Feels different. Coach, I mean the same, but different.

Marnie Stockman:

I am Marnie Stockman.

Nick Coniglio:

I am Nick Coniglio. We've worked together for over a decade. The first company we worked for got acquired and acquired and acquired. We learned first hand about the good, the bad and the ugly.

Marnie Stockman:

We decided to take the good and start a company of our own in an unfamiliar industry. We grew it with positivity, problem solving and team building, with a bit of goofy mixed in Sound familiar.

Nick Coniglio:

While all three seasons of Ted Lasso aired, we started, scaled and sold that multi-million dollar company. We then outlined our leadership framework, principles and stories Ted Lasso style in our book Lead it Like Lasso.

Marnie Stockman:

That said, let's dig in and see what leadership lessons we learn in today's episode. At the end of the show, we'll score some of the main characters on John Wooden's pyramid of success. But let's start with a quick recap.

Show Clip:

I do love a locker room Smells like potential. Afc Richmond, an English Premier League football club, is run by Rebecca Welton and she's on a mission to destroy it. Rebecca fired the existing gaffer and hired Ted Lasso. Ted knows nothing about European football, as his success came as an American football coach. Rebecca is counting on this to sabotage AFC Richmond and fulfill her revenge against her ex-husband Rupert. What Ted lacks in knowledge about soccer in the UK, much to the dismay of the press, the fans and the team he seems to make up for in his Kansas charm and positivity.

Show Clip:

Coach Beard is Ted's right hand man and guide to soccer, and England Higgins, the director of communications for AFC Richmond, used to work with Rebecca's ex Rupert. Rebecca plans on using him to enact her revenge. Nate is the impressionable, unconfident kitman of the club who is shocked that Ted learns his name. He gives Ted and Beard some intel on the players. There is aging and always agitated veteran Roy Kent, jamie Tartt, the star player, and Keely Jones, jamie's model girlfriend, none of whom have high hopes for the team. And that's an introduction to Ted Lasso. You've met a really cool show.

Nick Coniglio:

Wow, lots of stuff packed into that first episode.

Marnie Stockman:

Oh, so fun. I saw someone online say that they wish they could erase their memory of Ted Lasso so they could rewatch it again from the first time. I totally feel that.

Nick Coniglio:

First, episode really was the introduction of Ted Lasso to us and introduced us to the plot, to the setting and the characters, and we thought it'd be a great time to talk about first impressions, since they're so related to introductions. So when I say first impressions, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

Marnie Stockman:

Well, as a former teacher, I always think first day of school, Right. You're definitely making lots of first impressions as a teacher, as the students, etc. And as Beard, as when Beard mentioned first day of school, Ted says there's no such thing as last day of school jitters, right? So yeah, first day of school.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, okay. So I think, when I think first impressions, I think of how critical they can be. You know, thinking about a job interview or that first day at a new job, you know, especially if, coming from a leader, let's say, you're brought in as a leader or coach into a new environment, the first impression can have so many implications and consequences. So I think, when I think first impressions, I think stress oh my God, right, I got to nail this and there's a couple of phenomenons in psychology that kind of back that up right. There's the whole notion. I think they call it the primacy effect, right when people tend to remember the first interaction that they have with you so much more than subsequent interactions right.

Nick Coniglio:

So if you make a really good first impression, you have a little bit of leeway to maybe not continue and follow that up down the line, because they remember so strongly that first impression that they have for you. And then the second thing I think of is you know it's called a halo effect. I think people have heard of the halo effect, right. But you know, if you demonstrate some really good qualities in that first interaction that you have with somebody, chances are they're going to think that you have a lot of other good qualities, right. And counter to that is and this is where the stress comes in again, right, if you don't demonstrate necessarily such good qualities up front, if you demonstrate some negative qualities, they may be a more apt to believe that other attributes that you have they may view that in a negative fashion.

Marnie Stockman:

So I should always eat your first test. What's that? Yeah?

Nick Coniglio:

first impression you should eat your first test, yeah. Yeah, yeah, they're high stakes, they're high stakes. So so we met a whole bunch of characters in the show, right? And I think, I think probably be a good idea if we, if we, made some first impressions on some of those characters. So you, okay, start with Rebecca.

Marnie Stockman:

What you think, rebecca. Okay, rebecca, confident, decisive, powerful those would be my first impressions.

Nick Coniglio:

Throwing a little bit of manipulative.

Show Clip:

I'm gonna say a little bit of cold as well. Yeah.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, she's very cold.

Show Clip:

Let me have it, of course. You're fired, yeah right, and I'll be buying out the remainder of your contract, so Wish you the best of luck.

Marnie Stockman:

Yeah, but to be fair, she didn't know she was making a first impression on us right when we viewed her firing George, you know, etc. Ted, I think, got a different impression of her.

Show Clip:

Hey how y'all doing. I'm Ted lasso, your new coach. You must be miss Welton.

Show Clip:

Oh, please call me Rebecca. Miss Welton's, my father.

Show Clip:

If that's a joke, I love it. If not, I cannot wait to unpack that with you.

Show Clip:

This here's coach beard it is so good to finally meet you both face to face.

Marnie Stockman:

Right when she, when he walked into her office, she's ah, I'm Rebecca. You know, call me Rebecca when again Ted has his Sights set on positivity for sure. So I don't think he knew at all that Rebecca set him up to be in that press conference and then she saved him in that press conference.

Show Clip:

Now, coach lasso may not have a CV that you all find acceptable, but he does have one thing this club doesn't a trophy from this millennium. So, like it or not, richmond are changing the way we do things and from now on, that way is the lasso way so he only has positive Thoughts about Rebecca, even though we've seen, like you said, that manipulative, controlling side of her.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, she literally saved him right.

Marnie Stockman:

That's okay.

Nick Coniglio:

So when we're talking about this brainstorming, this podcast, or we're talking about Rebecca, this is what frustrates the heck out of me, right? Because you know, as a leader, she has a vision. Right, it's a very emotionally controlled vision, right it's? I want to burn this club down to the ground. Yeah because I do not like that's done and I can't play him.

Nick Coniglio:

Absolutely. She has a plan Right, but she's not letting everybody in on the plan, right? So you know, she, she, she's. She obviously let Higgins and we'll talk about Higgins just a little bit later but from Ted's perspective, he's like I'm going in, she hired me, right? She's supportive of me, she's, she's told the world that we're now going to do things the lasso way, right? So Well, I know what she's doing and we know, as as viewers, what she's actually doing. It's just so frustrating to me because she's, she's. She's a different person to different stakeholders and we know from personal experience that that never ends up well.

Marnie Stockman:

Well and I'm sure there are people listening here that feel like, yeah, work feels a lot like that. They say one thing and do something else. Right, I mean, that is the issue. Whether it's a first impression or not, if you're not Acting the way you're believing right, it doesn't feel good 100%, 100% okay, let's, let's jump off of Rebecca for a second and let's talk about the namesake of the show, ted lasso.

Show Clip:

Yeah right.

Nick Coniglio:

So I think I think, unlike you know the other characters where they all kind of know each other most of the characters in the show are meeting Ted for the first time, so they're actually forming the opinion based off of the first impression. And you know what? It's not good If you look at it from the standpoint of the team, the fans, the press. They all kind of have that same first impression.

Show Clip:

I have never coached a sport that you folks call football At any level. Jesus and heck you got a question in there Trent, yeah, is this a fucking joke?

Nick Coniglio:

And which is all right. He lacks confidence. You know the all shucks, you know corny jokes that he makes. He's not really serious about what he does. So what did you think when we talked about Ted? What did you think as a viewer?

Marnie Stockman:

So when we first see him, right, he's hopping over the seat and and ask Beard, are we crazy? I think Ted recognizes that he doesn't have the you know the resume, as Rebecca says, to really do this well. So but we see him as positive. Yeah, and Beard's like, yeah, we're crazy, but Ted's still goofing around. Right, if we see each other in our dreams, let's goof around neck like we don't know each other. So he's a very positive, optimistic person who clearly has a plan. And you know he has a plan because when Roy comes in and says I never thought I'd end my career, you know working for Ronald Stinkin McDonald Ted says he thinks mad, now wait, we went over.

Marnie Stockman:

He'll be furious. So Ted clearly has a plan.

Nick Coniglio:

But I just wish he had that plan around the first impression that he was going to make.

Marnie Stockman:

Because, the first impression everybody saw was from the press conference where he said he didn't know a thing.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, and he was. He was thrown into that. We'll give him that right. It wasn't something he was prepared to do, but he had to. He had to know, coming overseas crossed the pond.

Nick Coniglio:

Someone was going to ask him that, yeah, I mean, he knew nothing about soccer, right. So I wish he would have, from an outsider looking in right and the leadership, the leadership angle here. I wish the first thing he would have done was met with his team and it acknowledged the elephant in the room, right, that he does not know a lot about soccer, but that's not where he's found success before.

Marnie Stockman:

And that's what he didn't say in the press conference.

Nick Coniglio:

Exactly right, His success and we saw this with the sports center clip at the beginning right, His success was building a team and having ability for the team to work together to achieve their goals. And he just never, he never really addressed that at all. But we know that he's thinking that because, like you said when he was talking, about. Roy to beer he.

Marnie Stockman:

So he made a bad first impression. What do you think is it? Is it possible to get a second chance at a first impression?

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, I think we all know it is, but it's very hard and I think there's even science to back it up. I believe Harvard did a study that says it takes eight positive encounters to overcome an initial negative first impression. So I guess, by Harvard's rules, hopefully at minimum by episode eight Ted will be at a point where he has overcome this press conference.

Marnie Stockman:

Well, I enjoyed episode one, so like I'm game for the next eight, see what happens for sure. I think Adam Grant, who wrote the book Think Again, would agree that it's something. As humans, we should all do a better job of really questioning the assumptions that we've made, because that's really what is happening with. The first impression is you're making a lot of mistakes, you're making a lot of assumptions based on what you've seen.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, yeah, but you asked the question can you overcome it? And I think there are certain strategies that, for those of us who have made bad impressions, first impressions in the past, we've learned, and to me the strategies revolve around four things. Right, the first is, if you have the opportunity, apologize. You know apologies go a long way in so many different areas of life. Really really pull on that if you have the opportunity to do that. But then once you apologize, hopefully you have a chance to reengage with whoever you made the first impression with. Explain what happened. Explanations always help. People want to give people second chances all the time, but I think the most important thing would be to find a way to show your authentic self, be the real you. I think that that goes a long way with everything and that will set your ship on the right course for the balance of whatever relationship you're trying to establish.

Marnie Stockman:

I can't wait to see the real Rebecca. Will she please stand up? Absolutely.

Nick Coniglio:

Absolutely Well. I think we've met the real Nate, the real Coach Beard, the real Higgins. We've also met a bunch of other characters as well. That we'll talk about in just a minute. But let me ask you Coach Beard, he's an interesting character. What do you think I have?

Marnie Stockman:

Coach Beard says a lot in very few words. I think Beard is our guide. I think he's our guide to the UK, he's our guide to soccer and he is also our guide. That validates all. That is Coach Lasso. I think you see it in their connection. I love the scene.

Show Clip:

Could you take Coach Beard and get him their IDs housing information, anything they need. Wifi password wet wipes You're meant to fire Way ahead of you, coach. Thank you.

Marnie Stockman:

I mean, he knew Ted wanted wet wipes Wi-Fi password and he meant to fire. That's fantastic. That's just. That is saying that they've created a bond, right, and because of that you're going to watch Beard to see, to learn about Ted again, england and soccer. So I think he's a great guy.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, when you talk humidifier, you know, you know, they know each other pretty well.

Marnie Stockman:

I'm all about a good humidifier.

Nick Coniglio:

But you know, so you're talking about that. I'm like did we watch the same show? I mean, Beard was in it for like 45 seconds. But I think you've proven one of my points and tenets at the very beginning in terms of halo effect. Right, I think Beard made a good impression on you in a couple different areas and you extrapolated that out to all the things that Beard's going to be good at. Got me Right. Yeah, I think point proven right there I say screw you, Harvard, Right.

Nick Coniglio:

I have my own theories. Okay, what about? What about Higgins? Higgins and his gagging?

Marnie Stockman:

Higgins is so wishy-washy and I think I think the gagging is because he's not living true to his own core values and he's discontent and he kind of makes himself sick to a stomach. Rebecca calls him out. He basically says right, I will give you this raise to support your family. So Higgins accepts it right to help me burn the club to the ground and guilt some into it by saying I'm sure you had to do some unsavory things when you snuck Rupert's women out. So Higgins is just trying to do what's right for his family and in doing so destroyed another family and I think that's where the gagging comes from.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, I think you're definitely right on that. We also meet Nathan Nate right, the kit man who is lacking self confidence.

Marnie Stockman:

What is it?

Nick Coniglio:

That's my first opinion of Nate, but talk to me a little bit about Nate and what you saw there.

Marnie Stockman:

I also think there's a conflict within Nate. The very first time we see him shh get off the pitch. Get off the pitch, screaming, yelling right, and then takes beard and Ted into Rebecca's office and runs out. Doesn't even have the self confidence, like you said, to introduce him to Rebecca.

Show Clip:

Stop touching the grass. Get off the pitch. Stop touching the grass, please. There you go.

Marnie Stockman:

Hello. So is Nate the one with the confidence to streak across the pitch and give what for to the new coach, or is it the one running away from the power? That is, rebecca. I think that that is more about his nonverbal communication, which I think is also important in first impressions. Right, it wasn't so much what he said, but it was the running right toward the event versus running away from the event, and it made me think about nonverbal communication and how, in today's world of digital, everything the first impression you may make on the world might not even be from where you said or even an action that you've taken. Live like running toward or from something. It might be a LinkedIn post, a TikTok.

Nick Coniglio:

Which we seem to live every day, given the age of our children, right yeah, where they're now at the point in their lives where they're trying to get that job that they want or that internship that they want. And I know, personally speaking, I have a son who is going to graduate college within a year and he's really trying to set himself up for what that first job opportunity might be. And he's diving into the world of LinkedIn and I know we've had to have conversations and we've had some deep conversations about the way in which he responds to different connections on LinkedIn and he's got to get over the mindset of what he's been used to, whether it was Snapchat or whatever social choices.

Marnie Stockman:

Just one on one, chatting with the buddy yeah.

Nick Coniglio:

Exactly, and maybe trying to be too funny, which comes across as immature, but it goes back again to what you were just saying, which is that whatever you're posting on puberty, it's still the same. It's a pretty good chance, especially if you're young and you're out looking for a job, that you are actually making a first impression on a prospective employer that might be looking to hire you.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, absolutely, and it's a completely different mindset, something that we didn't have to worry about 20 years ago and something a lot of people are talking more and more about. But you can't talk about first impressions without bringing up the fact that your interaction on social media these days is likely giving a first impression to a person, and we don't all have Ted's dance as our first digital impression.

Marnie Stockman:

I couldn't think of this.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, I subscribe to the thank god that I don't have dancing as my first impression on like that, yeah me too.

Nick Coniglio:

At least I hope I don't. So there are a couple of other characters in the show that we didn't really we didn't learn much about, and I'm sure we will as the episodes go on. But there's Roy and Keely, jamie, jamie Tart, of course. So we're not going to really spend much time, or any time at all, talking about them in this episode, but rest assured, in future episodes we're going to dig right into those characters, because they are some of our favorites, for sure.

Marnie Stockman:

And maybe we will sit around and enjoy some biscuits with the boss while we chat on those.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, well, that's a good lead-in to next week, but we're not there yet. Let's talk about one last thing. So we talked about our first impressions of the characters, the characters' first impressions of Ted, but we really didn't talk about our first impressions of the episode itself. So what did you think, what was your takeaway from the episode?

Marnie Stockman:

Well, I think, judging from the fact that we sort of have split first impressions of a lot of the characters in the episode right, which Rebecca is it, which Nate is it, etc. That the show actually does the same thing. I went back and checked the very first scene of the show is on a soccer pitch and I actually know people that have said, oh, they didn't want to watch Ted Lasso because they thought it was just a soccer show. And I think one thing that we have learned for sure is it's not just a soccer show. So I think one of the things that the show itself presents is first impressions are not at all what they seem and you maybe should give a second chance at first impression. Same true with the positivity that is Ted Lasso, and yet the show ends with him having a rough conversation with his wife because they're having troubles. So I think the really the broader show is about first impressions and how maybe they are not as they seem.

Nick Coniglio:

Love that. Love that I mean. You really did your homework on first impressions, Marne, Well done.

Marnie Stockman:

I did. I'm a homework doing, kind of girl.

Nick Coniglio:

So is it really shallow of me just to say that I really enjoy the first episode? That's my first impression. I can't wait to watch the next one.

Marnie Stockman:

Yeah, I'm in on that too. Yes.

Nick Coniglio:

Yeah, yeah, well, I, you know I've enjoyed the conversation about first impressions. It really is. You know, we wrote a book that presents a leadership framework and such a big part of leading yourself or leading others is related to the relationships that you build and, in turn, building relationships, you know, is very much influenced by the first impressions that you make. So I'm hopeful that we have covered the topic well enough, where people have questions and they can argue with us, agree with us, but we'd love to hear your comments and feedback, if you were, if you're so apt to doing so. So we'd love to hear if you want to just drop us a line. But beyond that, we're ready for episode two. Hopefully our first impression was enough. Well, you'll watch us again. Yeah, and episode two is Marnie mentioned earlier. It's biscuits with the boss. So apron's ready, we're good, we're going to be ready to go, I've got mine, let's do it All right, okay, I'll try to find one too.

Nick Coniglio:

All right, thanks, everybody Appreciate your time.

Marnie Stockman:

Before we go. Here's another sign pun intended that maybe these two do know what they're doing as Beard hangs up John Wooden's Pyramid of Success. We promised we would rate a few of the characters on some of the traits. We're going to look at confidence, ambition and industriousness for Rebecca, ted and Nate. If you want to see the full pyramid scored, you can head to the resources page at LeadItLikeLassocom. For confidence, wooden defined that as respect without fear may come from being prepared and keeping things in proper perspective. So for that, rebecca gets a 10, ted gets a 6.7, and Nate gets a 3.3. Ambition for noble goals Well now, rebecca gets a 3.3. Ted full 10, nate 6.7.

Marnie Stockman:

Industriousness there's no substitute for work. Worthwhile results come from hard work and careful planning. We feel like all three of the characters score a 10 on that, as they really are performing their jobs at the highest level. Well, actually these scores were from when we first watched the show and again, that was just our first impression. But when we went back and really thought about these first impressions and analyzed what we were saying about Ted and his lack of a plan in really how to make a first impression, we felt like maybe his industrious score needs to be dinged a bit for not having a plan, so we're going to drop him down to a 6.7. As you go to the website, if you check out the full spreadsheet we're going to update it each week you can see our initial first impressions right now, but we're going to also show any changes that we make along the way, to see how the willingness to rethink a first impression can actually make a difference.

Marnie Stockman:

See you there.

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Marnie Stockman

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Nick Coniglio

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