Lead it Like Lasso: A Ted Lasso Rewatch Podcast

Leadership Lessons from Sunflowers | S3 Ep6

• Marnie Stockman and Nick Coniglio • Season 3 • Episode 6

Share episode

🌻 Episode 6: Sunflowers 🌻

Amsterdam. No curfew. One unforgettable night. ✨

This week on Lead It Like Lasso, we explore Ted Lasso’s fan-favorite episode, where the entire cast is set loose in Amsterdam — and from canals to jazz clubs, pillow fights to bike rides, total football to total vulnerability, every storyline unfolds into something deeper.

🚲 Roy learns to ride a bike — and more importantly, learns to apologize.

🎷 Higgins and Will turn a night in the Red Light District into a jazz pilgrimage.

🪞 Rebecca lets go — literally and emotionally — into the canal and into the unknown.

⚽ Ted gets lost, gets found, and finds total football.

🧠 Colin opens up about living two lives — and Trent listens.

🛏️ The team ends up in a pillow fight, because of course they do.

From authenticity and connection to flow and freedom, this episode is a leadership treasure chest.

🎧 Listen now and reflect with us on how loosening control, living authentically, and embracing vulnerability lead to transformation.

🔗 leaditlikelasso.com

📩 Join our newsletter: workinprogmess.ai

#LeadItLikeLasso #TedLassoLeadership #Sunflowers #AuthenticLeadership #PillowFightPower #TotalFootball #LeadershipLessons #TedLassoFans

Speaker 2:

Hi everyone, I'm Nick Coniglio and I'm Marnie Stockman, and this is Lead it Like Lasso, a Ted Lasso rewatch podcast. We are the co-authors of Lead it Like Lasso, a leadership book for life, your life authors of Lead it Like Lasso, a leadership book for life, your life.

Speaker 1:

And as you know by now, this podcast is an extension of many of the elements outlined in our book. We invite you to join us as we take a deep dive into each episode and explore the leadership principles as they play out in the series, and for today's episode, we're diving into a good one. Season three, episode six Sunflowers.

Speaker 2:

Oh, the Ted Lasso Facebook fans community loves Sunflowers. This is one of the top talked about episodes there, for sure, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And not only them. I think we loved it as well. So, for a little recap of the episode, this is really multiple journeys with one night in Amsterdam, yeah, and it starts with them losing you know. Another loss for the team. But Ted opens the door to no curfews and the entire team and the coaching staff and the ownership spreads out across Amsterdam. Entire team and the coaching staff and the ownership spreads out across Amsterdam, yeah, and what follows in one night is many journeys and a series of self-discoveries.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, one of the fun ones, of course, is Rebecca meeting a mysterious Dutch stranger right after she falls into the canal. So that encounter warm, unexpected and possibly prophetic.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. And speaking of warm, Jamie teaches Roy how to ride a bike and there's quite a lot of bonding. That goes on after that.

Speaker 2:

Ted gets mentally high, but actually not physically, and goes on this interesting psychedelic journey through museums, triangles, barbecue sauce and comes up with total football.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, the Colin storyline gets a lot deeper. He opens up to Trent and he breaks our heart, reveals the ache of living two lives, which is hard to do.

Speaker 2:

Keely is pretty quiet in this episode, but you begin to see Roy processing her relationship with Jack, which is interesting to see.

Speaker 1:

And the team, our favorite team, afc Richmond. After a lot of chaos and a lot of indecision, they probably settle into one of the purest forms of joy, which is a pillow fight.

Speaker 2:

And then Higgins and Will have a surprisingly profound jazz night complete with a quote to live by.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and finally, you know, the night ends with Ted's new idea you mentioned earlier total football and everybody re-nights on the bus, renewed, and we get to hear some great music in this episode Very timely, don't worry about a thing.

Speaker 2:

And they're all probably tired. I bet some of that ride, when they're not singing, they're napping. But yes, it was a long episode for all of us.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it sure was. So where do you want to start?

Speaker 2:

Marnie. Well, I've got quite a few notes. It's like the top 10. But how about if we start with a bit about communication? So we know communication is a critical leadership. It's a critical life skill, not just leadership skill. And today I feel like it is very possible, with all the memes and quote unquote, brain rot, which is what they call, all the nonsense on the internet. Um, if, if you don't understand what someone else is saying, that you can get context wrong. Case in point Higgins was going to have a night on the town in the red light district.

Speaker 1:

We all know what that means.

Speaker 2:

He tells Will's going to become a man in the red light district. Lots of possibilities.

Speaker 1:

So I felt like communication was a theme there. Yeah, I, absolutely, and I'm going to. There was one line that I believe Higgins said, right With you know, one pilgrim that's a zealot and but with two pilgrims that is a pilgrimage, which I you know. We talk about leadership, and how often it can feel lonely. Yes, um, and I you know. So that that line obviously it.

Speaker 1:

It was very specific to the context of the show, uh, and what starts out as kind of a rite of passage, um, really ends up turning into, I don't know, a a really cool sacred connection between Will and Higgins. And I think that's representative of at least some of my experiences where I did feel lonely, mostly because of my own actions, where I felt like I needed to be lonely in a leadership position. But it's amazing when you open the doors to people helping and again, something that seems obvious but I missed it you know in my Leadership 101 course way back in the early days, but how much easier it is to have companionship. And you know when you start opening up and being vulnerable and I think you know the vulnerability is not necessarily what happened in this show. A little bit it happened a little bit, but I just thought there was a hidden message in that.

Speaker 2:

So that's what I think. I think that's a good one. The other part on this particular bit, with them mentioning the red light district quite a bit is that Higgins clearly is understood for the authentic version of Higgins. He is well branded within the organization because he talks about going to the red light district and Rebecca and Keely look at each other as though to say you mean he's going to the red light district, the reason we think he's going, and then they both say nah. And then later he says to some other folks on the team we're going to the red light district. And they look at each other again Nah, because he's well branded and authentic and they know Higgins and I think that that helps, helps smooth over. If we go back to the communication piece, if you are always the authentic version of yourself, even if you make little mistakes along the way, uh, being authentic helps smooth that over a bit.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, which I think is a good segue to one of the the, uh, another main there are so many of them but another main storyline of the show, which is the situation with Colin where, not intentionally, but he is Trent understands and confronts him about Colin being gay, right, and you know, I think there's something that that comes across in that storyline, that, whether or not you're in that position, but you've been in similar positions in the past where, uh, colin talked about living two lives and, um, the ache that goes goes along with that.

Speaker 1:

And I think when we talk about authenticity and I'm not saying by any stretch Colin wasn't authentic, right, but but communicating your authenticity to everybody so you don't have to be in a position to act one way with one subset of people and a second way with a second subset of people is really important because, as we see play out perfectly in the show, the stress involved with having to be a different person with different constituents is real, it's anxiety producing, it's stressful and you know, from the standpoint of just general life, I know a ton of people in a very different position than than Colin in the show but kind of live that life where they're they. They in essence border themselves off with their friends versus their, their coworkers um, their fellow students versus their family, um, and that that's a really tough um position to sustain, I think.

Speaker 2:

Oh, couldn't agree more. Um, it makes me think of in the classroom that so many times. I live in a small community so my worlds are continually colliding. The people I play volleyball with probably have a child that was in a class. I taught that type of thing. But when I was teaching I can remember I was being observed and I told a silly story and when the observer left the kids said Ms Stockman, like you don't care if somebody's in here watching or not, you're still the same goofy version.

Speaker 2:

And especially in a small town, it would be impossible to not be the same person because you just bump into every. You know all kinds of different worlds in one place. But I think a lot of people do put a mask on at work or with groups of people, like you said, and that is hard to do. That is you mentioned it. It's a level of stress that really wears on folks over time, I think as leadership. That is why we talk about icebreakers or team building being important, because it does help folks bond. I mean pillow fights absolutely make for great television.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. I think the other thing that's kind of hidden in that is, you know, if and when people do find out things that they felt like they should have expected to know, it's not helping with the trust factor. And we often talk about how trust is, if not one of, if not the most important, one of the most important aspects to building any team and being a leader. And when you suddenly find out oh you know, I didn't know, nick, that you had this hobby doing X, y or Z or something to that effect, I mean, that's a very trivial example, I understand, but it's something that they feel like they didn't know you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's exactly right. You're trying to build that trust and you'll never you never really open yourself up to the opportunity to find people that might be in a similar position as you, and I think it's really neat the way it played out with both Colin and Trent is, you can see over the course of the episode, granted, but okay, we share some of the same experiences. You can see them then starting to trust each other more and and and really open it up, and I I think um, you know that's important, as you lose out on that opportunity if you don't, if you, if you hold back certain things that are very important to you, that impact your, your life on the day-to-day basis, and and in the course of that, we talked a bit about team building, and another element in this episode was how about the bond building between Jamie and Roy Kent, as Jamie teaches Roy to ride a bike?

Speaker 2:

How about it right, that was one of the most entertaining bits across the whole series was that bit.

Speaker 1:

Without a doubt, and you know we talk about reverse mentoring the mentor becoming the mentee.

Speaker 1:

I think what a great way to portray that these writers have done. And inside you, kind of you, you get the these hidden. Oh my god. Yeah, I didn't think about that too when, when roy was, when he finally apologized, when he finally admits that that his um grandfather was the one who was supposed to teach him how to ride the bike right and he passed away. And you know, he then says something to the effect of okay, now I can go back to my normal, taking all my issues that I have out on for no good reason, out on you, jamie, and it made me think, and I think I'm more guilty than I like on this. But, god, that's so true, right, you have something bothering you that you're not opening up and discussing, you know, to other people with. And then you go and you snap at you know, I snap at my wife or my child or something to that effect, when it has absolutely nothing to do with them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, right, but it's it's, it's the stress and we find out in the show. I mean, roy confesses that you know, I think Keely might be seeing another girl, right, and that's really why, at least in this episode, he's taking out his anger and frustration.

Speaker 2:

In this episode Fair.

Speaker 1:

So I thought, what a what? So I, I thought I, what a. What a cool storyline, though. And riding the bike when he, he's only going in circles and throwing the bike. This is brilliance, absolute brilliance, always yeah, do you have anything else on that?

Speaker 2:

uh, not on that. Uh, next up. I thought it was interesting when ted said what do you do to beard? What do you do when you're feeling stuck? What do you do to beard? What do you do when you're feeling stuck? What do you do to get out of your head or to get inspired? Beard's answer is very different. Right, he's going to have some mushroom tea, but as part of that is the power of brainstorming. And we've talked about the power of brainstorming before, especially in Ted Lasso. Remember when they did all of the football plays? There have been multiple times and never bring an umbrella to a brainstorm, but this time the soccer team's brainstorming activities to do that evening, which in and of itself was sort of a team bonding event.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I love the line I think Beard says I've been waiting how, however many years? My whole life for you to ask me that.

Speaker 1:

That question, um, but yeah, it goes back to you know, we just got answered. We just got asked the question on the uh on on a different podcast we were on the other day. What's your escape? What is? What is it that disrupts your mental loops or or something to that effect? Right, that that, um, you know, triggers new ideas and, um, you know, new thoughts. Just the idea of, of, of brainstorming, like you said, it's sometimes it's so hard when you're just constantly pushing for the answers, answers, instead of creating the space to let them in.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I think, I think whether it was this, this tea with the hallucinogenic, that was really not really tea with the hallucinogenic. That was really not really good. Yeah, it was. It was a dud, um, but whatever it was it gave it gave ted the the reason to uh, to just step away and think about something different.

Speaker 2:

So and where do you get your answers?

Speaker 1:

what's that?

Speaker 2:

so where do you get your answers?

Speaker 1:

I know, I was just about to ask you that finally I I beat you to a question.

Speaker 2:

That is a win for me. Folks listening, we're in season three and I finally got a question.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it is amazing to me that almost all of my best thoughts come when I'm taking a shower. And I've read the memes online and people talk about it, and you talk about walking and stuff like that but for some reason that is the one place in this world where I guess I stopped pushing for answers and not all of a sudden things just start rushing into my head which is kind of crazy.

Speaker 2:

Isn't that funny how that happens.

Speaker 1:

How about?

Speaker 2:

you. So, yeah, I walk a lot right, I walk and knit and just let my mind wander. It was interesting in college in thinking about really pushing through. I can remember a few times where I was really trying to get a math as a math major. I was really trying to get a complex math concept down and I just couldn't do it. But I'm a morning, I'm an early riser, not a night owl, and I can remember working on a problem from 7 to 10 PM and I just said I'm going to go to bed and then in the morning I wake up and solution.

Speaker 2:

I like the brain just needed that extra processing time, the other place that I think lets my brain go. It's one of the reasons I really like sports and I think it helps in a couple of ways that it actually is a place where I can shut off the rest of my brain. On Friday nights I play volleyball with my kids and my daughter's a teacher and Friday was a rough day and she was struggling up until 6 pm and then when we started playing volleyball, she took a game to get into itm. And then when we started playing volleyball, she took a game to get into it. But then after the second game I said is the day going better? And she'd kind of gotten herself out of it. So I do think it can help free up the brain and take some of the stress off when you can get yourself out of it.

Speaker 1:

Without a doubt, and I think that's why a lot of people turn to working out or it, without a doubt, and I think that's why a lot of people turn to working out or exercise, and it's it's kind of a similar, similar concept.

Speaker 2:

I wish running worked for me, but I really just don't enjoy that whatsoever. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

My, my mind, while I'm running, is constantly looking for the answer of how do I stop?

Speaker 2:

Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, nothing is chasing me. I'm doing this on my own. This is ridiculous. Exactly, roy know. Could Roy motivate you if he was chasing you like he did me?

Speaker 1:

Maybe for about a minute, but, as we found out during this episode, I think that's about all he can keep up. So you mentioned volleyball and I just happen to know that you played a ball volleyball collegiately. Did you ever, um, did you ever get, uh, a message from the coach that said no curfew tonight? Those three magic words.

Speaker 2:

No, but I, I, I don't. I wouldn't have known if we did, I was not, I was not one to go out anyway, and I don't ever remember the team going out. It was typically things at hotels, you know where. We would just go to somebody's room, and I've always liked my sleep, so I wouldn't even have necessarily participated then. So no, there were certainly no pillow fights or runabout town.

Speaker 1:

Well, let me bring it more up your speed then more up your alley in terms of have you ever been in, is there ever been a time, as you're leading a class, leading a team, where you felt like it was the right time to loosen control a little bit as a leader, to kind of bring joy and chaos, and you know more of a renewed, renewal of spirit or anything like that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, now that brings a little more I can. I can relate to that one a bit more. Some things come to mind in terms of teaching in having a class where, okay, like something big is going on it's typically in our town a snowstorm is happening and they're not going to be able to get past it because they're so enthusiastic about it. So we spend a minute doing something silly about that. Okay, you've heard the old wives tales about putting a spoon out or doing a snow dance. So I've absolutely to high schoolers All right, everybody stand up, we're going to do a snow dance for a minute and then we're going to sit down and get this done, just to shake it up. So, in that regard, sometimes loosening control for sure gets you where it needs to be.

Speaker 1:

So you have, in that scenario, you have actually dictated more control to control them, to loosen control a little bit.

Speaker 2:

For those playing along at home. He's calling me out on being a control freak again, because I am for sure.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I think about you know, there's like 10 years ago, the whole notion of and the phrases you'll hit it. I can't believe the phrases Not in my head right now, but the engineering shops, you know, setting aside some team where they can go create solutions, right, Some code fest of some sort Hackathon yeah. Say again Hackathons.

Speaker 1:

Hackathon.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, my goodness, that is the word I was thinking about, yes, but I mean that, in essence, would have been frowned upon years and years, years and I mean not even years and years ago, 10 years ago.

Speaker 1:

But then it started to come into play where, okay, you just go do what you're going to do, you know, have some fun, you fun, think of some creative solutions to some things. And the results have been. You read stories about the results how new products, new services, new offerings were based off of something that just gave freedom to engineers and developers to go build something to engineers and developers to go build something, and I think that's a perfect use case, an example of giving people more freedom, because you never know what might come out of it once people kind of clear the shackles of the day-to-day grind and start creating something, and I think that's really important to remember. You know, if, whatever it doesn't have to be engineering related, it could be any industry to give people some time and some thought to be creative, because the value that they can add is a lot, presumably because you hired them on your team, right.

Speaker 2:

It's interesting because it makes me think. Sometimes putting a really funny restriction on something can free up people's brains right. Come up with a hundred ways to use a brick, none of which can be built. A wall in a house gets you really thinking. And the reverse is if money and the laws of physics were of no option, you know, we're not even concerned. What would you do to build a team? And I remember I know I've talked to you about the time I had to build a 12-star customer success program. They said you've heard of five-star programs. We want you to design a 12-star. Nothing is off the table. And that was really fun to open up the ideas of. Yeah, if you are a leader of a team, that is a fun way to get some big ideas out on the table. And what was interesting is they came back and said well, are some of these things things we could do? Because that was. I don't know how you came up with that ridiculousness, but there's a part of that that's kind of some magic.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it always reminds me of the time that we had the opportunity to sit in front of military leaders, where they're doing design thinking and the challenge was how do we get this cat out of the tree?

Speaker 2:

And, of course, the first 30 answers.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Shoot the cat.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's uh, it's, it's something Um. So what was your definition of gazellic? I can't even say that Gazellic.

Speaker 2:

I don't know how it is. I just I feel like I just have to build up a cough and then say some letters. Um, I felt like it was a state of almost like Zen flow, where it was just a really comfortable state of happy peace. What was yours?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I thought familiar. I think they used the words cozy, and then they said your heart. And, uh, I thought, given the context of, of the interaction between rebecca and our dutch man, um, who I don't know if we ever know the name of, uh, we do not, because she said uh uh, I know in this episode we don't uh for sure, um, but uh, but yeah, the the whole.

Speaker 1:

You know there's there's the microcosm of Rebecca and the guy and and the whole notion of the flow, like you said, that they got into and that was a very similar flow to other storylines within. You know, ted himself got into the flow of thinking about total football and then, uh, the other storylines as well, with Jamie and Roy and Ted and Colin and Trent, but the entire show had this great flow to it um which which I thought, which I thought was really cool and, I think, good for Rebecca in being vulnerable.

Speaker 1:

Right, that's not normal Rebecca, from what we have understood to this point, and she only got there because she agreed to be vulnerable with the guy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but it took her falling off a bridge and losing her phone to get there.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, it sure did. So what other things? Did you have any other items in the I don't think I did.

Speaker 2:

I think the rest of it was really about the flow piece and interesting that Ted thought he had to get into a different mindset, and I'm just now thinking this. So he thought he needed to get into a different place. So he drank what he thought was spiked tea, and then where did he go? To an American pub where there was a dartboard and barbecue sauce and Arthur Bryant's barbecue sauce, which he's very familiar with and he's watching things he knows. He's familiar with the basketball game that they're playing on television and he actually kind of came home to his own thoughts and was able to put what he already knew into the concept of coaching soccer, slash football and comes up with total football.

Speaker 2:

And I do think that that's an important leadership thing to think about. The notion of taking something from another part of your life and bringing it to a different scenario at work can really expand. I think that's how innovation can happen. Now Ted's innovation has already happened, so he didn't create a new you know, a totally new football strategy, but I do think that's how innovation happens.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't argue with that and I I will counter Beard's contention that the T wasn't spiked.

Speaker 1:

Maybe it's not for him, from a simple standpoint that Ted not only hallucinated seeing Nate, he also hallucinated seeing this cartoon character, right, I forget the exact name of the character, but that kind of introduced him to reminded him of all, all the concepts. But again, important, that that bulls game. It kind of tied everything together, right, what is what was he reminded of? He was reminded of watching with his dad, and we know that that that is. You know, his relationship with his dad is a big part of the panic attacks that he's actually having and it gets him back to. You know, you saw the journal pages when they were flipping through, at the end, right, it's triangles, try angles, try angels. And you know he really did come full circle. And you know when you know you're meant to try, right, it's that line in the show is is really powerful, um, yeah, when?

Speaker 2:

what was it when you uh, I wrote it down, when you know you're doing what you meant to do.

Speaker 1:

You have to. That's the line. Thank you for correcting me. Yes, so yeah, all all good stuff. Um, did we hit everything from your perspective?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we had the big. I mean that was such a powerful episode, so many things. But those were the highlights I thought in terms of of leadership. Yeah, Agreed.

Speaker 1:

Agreed. Can't wait for the next episode, so I think that means it's time to blow the whistle Game's over, but the leadership lessons keep on playing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they do. As a reminder, you can find us here, there and everywhere, at Lead it Like Lasso and, of course, leaditlikelassocom. Or we'd love for you to check out our snarky little sidekick of a newsletter at workinprogmasai. And don't forget to like, comment and share, subscribe, do all the things.

Speaker 1:

So until next time, stay curious, stay kind and, as always, keep leading out like Lasso.

Head Shot

Marnie Stockman

Host
Head Shot

Nick Coniglio

Host