Lead it Like Lasso: A Ted Lasso Rewatch Podcast

Leadership Lessons form We'll Never Have Paris | S3 Ep8

• Marnie Stockman and Nick Coniglio • Season 3 • Episode 8

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🎙 Lead It Like Lasso – Episode 8: “We’ll Never Have Paris”

In this episode of Lead It Like Lasso, Nick and Marnie unpack a week filled with tension, vulnerability, and unexpected clarity.

Ted’s dealing with the uncomfortable reality of Michelle and Dr. Jacob heading to Paris — and he’s asking all the wrong questions before taking anyone’s advice. Meanwhile, Keeley faces a deeply personal breach of privacy and refuses to be shamed into silence. Nate is learning how to label his feelings (and his relationship), and Isaac makes a discovery about Colin that could change everything.

We dive into:
 ✅ The difference between control and curiosity
 ✅ Why asking for help is a leadership skill, not a weakness
 ✅ What it really means to support someone when their private life goes public
 ✅ And why your board of advisors matters — especially when it comes to love, leadership, and leaked videos

It’s awkward, honest, and one of the richest episodes for real-life leadership reflection.

🎧 Subscribe and listen to Lead It Like Lasso wherever you get your podcasts.
📘 Want to take the next step in personal leadership? Check out our book, The Business of You — available now!

#TedLasso #LeadershipPodcast #LeadItLikeLasso #KeeleyJones #NateTheGreat #LeadershipDevelopment #TheBusinessOfYou

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome back, everyone. I am Nick Caniglio.

SPEAKER_01:

And I am Marnie Stockman, and this is the Lead It Like Lasso Rewatch Podcast. We are the co-authors of Lead It Like Lasso, a leadership book for life, your life.

SPEAKER_02:

And as you know by now, this podcast is an extension of many of the elements outlined in our book. We invite you to join us as we take a deep dive into each episode and explore the leadership principles as they play out in the series. And for today's episode, we're diving into season three, episode eight, we'll never have Paris. All right. So let's recap the episode a little bit, Marnie. So yeah, a little light on uh on the on the pitch on football, but we did learn at the beginning that total football is working out at Richmond as as they're on like a four or five match winning streak, I believe.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. Um, and it's titled About Paris because Dr. Jacob and Michelle, Ted's ex, uh are dropping Henry off. And uh Jacob has surprised Michelle with a uh trip to Paris. So um Ted is fretting about this and seeks advice from his diamond dogs. Woof woof.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. Couple other storylines. Jack and Keely, they start out, I think, hotter than ever together. Um, but then uh we have a little issue with elite video, and Keely is refusing to feel shame about that video and ends up drawing a line with Jack.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, Nate tries in only the awkward way that Nate can uh to awkwardly define his relationship with Jade and finally uh gets the answer he's looking for, has the courage to ask.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and then that whole leak video causes quite the uh the debate in the locker room. Um, but the result there is that Isaac seems to uncover the secret Colin's been holding. Uh they don't say that explicitly, but it seems like that's gonna set the stage for um some uh some conversation uh in future episodes for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02:

So, in general, what'd you think about this episode?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, it's not my favorite, only because oh, it's just awkward on top of awkward. I'm not a fan of awkward myself, and I just you can feel for each of the characters in these terribly awkward moments. So I felt awkward. How did you feel?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I I would agree. I think awkward's a good name, good line for it. Um, good label, maybe.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe that's what we should say.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, it was tough for me actually to label this episode. I would I would say uh a transition episode. Um for sure. Um, you know, it was full filled with really uh some inspirational and um and uh it was filled with quotes full of wisdom. I think I I I think is one way to say it. I I wrote down a lot of quotes in this episode.

SPEAKER_01:

I did too. And actually, I I want to say one quote that happened at the beginning that really wasn't part of the rest of the theme of the show, although as soon as I say it, you'll probably have nine other connections for it. And that was May. Yep. When she went up. Oh, did you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um, and she tells Ted that's not that nothing's impossible, but she leans in as we know Ted is fretting between Michelle and Dr. Jacob. So I wonder if that's a season four spoiler. They didn't even know they were gonna have season four.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I I I think you're right on target there. Um, but yeah, I mean, let's let's jump into the the the Ted storyline. Ted with Michelle and Dr. Jacob, or as we know him as Jake. Do we call him as Jake or do we call him Dr. Jacob? What do you think?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh well, you know, Henry knows him as Jake, so let's just call him Jake. Okay, all right, perfect.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't think I can do that, but Jake, as you mentioned out front, is uh so they were supposed to go to the English countryside, uh, but he surprised Michelle, like you said, they're going to Paris, and all of a sudden Ted knows, okay, this is this is where everybody gets engaged, right? And it it it unleashes uh, as AI would say, some sort of spiral uh in in Ted, and uh it begins this entire worry train, um uh some existential dread while we're on AI buzzwords.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, that we can turn this into an AI AI episode for sure. Um but you know, so there's a couple of things in here, uh, a couple of quotes that I just that just struck with struck me. I I think first uh we reconvene the Diamond Dogs, which is always a good a good uh point in the series. Love watching the Diamond Dogs, but but Trent has been initiated in and we didn't disappoint. I think one of his first lines was uh Ted, you can't worry about something that hasn't happened yet.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

Um and then Higgins follows that up with a line that I am sure to use uh both in my personal and professional life moving forward, which is you should find out before you flip out. Yes. I love that. That's that's even better than the assume quote that I is my standard go-to moving forward.

SPEAKER_00:

No, that is a good one.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. But a lesson there, right, is is okay, your mind is a very powerful thing, and it could take you places, and if if you're anything like me, it takes you to some dark places sometimes when when you don't have all the answers. And um I think we see that play out in real time during this episode with Ted for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, absolutely. You know, one of my favorite words is perseverate. I think that uh Ted was definitely perseverating over this. Uh, and and what I like is that you see it. I'm gonna jump to another scene because I think it's the same theme. Uh, you see it when Beard is talking to Henry and says, um, you know, the the lyric from Hey Jude, uh, which was you have the power to take a sad song and make it better.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. So um you don't have to accept this for what it is, you don't have to sweat about it. You can turn it around. Um, and saying, Stop letting yesterday, what was it, get in the way of today type of thing. Was that Rebecca's line to Ted?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it was Rebecca's to Ted. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Well, and what's interesting is Rebecca also had a line that I thought went with this same theme when she was given Keely guidance about the situation with Jack and said, give her a chance to surprise you. Like if you open yourself up to not assuming the negative outcome, maybe we can we can get a positive one. And maybe can manifest it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. So I wanted, I wrote, I wrote down that line as well. The you know, you should give her a chance to surprise you. And and as we know, um as we watched the episode, Jack uh I think at the end of the day, disappointed, the surprise was not what Gilly was looking for. Um I think as it as it the I forget the exact line uh that Jack said, but it was something to the effect of the the way I perceived it was that Jack made it all about her, right? What what are people gonna say when they find out I'm dating somebody who um you know released uh a porno video or something to that effect? And I'm sorry for messing up the exact line. Uh, but the reality of it is uh we were kind of given the hint from Rebecca to Keely and give her a chance to surprise you that Jack was going to surprise her in a positive way.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But uh I think at the end of the day, uh Keely was disappointed with Jack's reaction. Um but I think the point there is you still have to give people a chance um to react in a certain way. And it doesn't always work out the way you expect it to work out, right? People don't always surprise you in a way that's positive. It could be disappointing. But I think that's part of life. And I think that's something that um if if you're so guarded in terms of not giving somebody that chance to to kind of do something uh that you hope that they do, and you don't give them that opportunity, you're never you're never gonna move forward and grow, I think.

SPEAKER_01:

I also think that whole bit about Jack worrying about the public perception, you know, her initial reaction was the right one. I'm sorry this happened to you. It's okay. So I Keeley could believe Rebecca that we should give it a chance to, you know, let her surprise you. But to your point, it was when she was worried about what that looked like for her. I think there's whole this whole perception piece. And it's interesting because this week we did a training, right, on how to lead it like lasso, and we talk a lot about your own personal brand. And if you're not telling your own story that someone else is telling it for you, and Jack was trying to control the narrative. And I laughed because we had just had that conversation, right? Before we recorded this podcast, and Rebecca said when when Ted was saying the Eiffel Tower is the most romantic place in the world, and she said, the Eiffel Tower is just a lamp, just a lamppost with a publicist.

SPEAKER_00:

And I thought, oh, look, the Eiffel Tower knows how to run the uh business of itself, you know. I thought that was kind of funny.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah, no doubt. Um anything else on that before we move on?

SPEAKER_01:

I feel like that was a lot of, you know, it started out with the Diamond Dogs and ended up with Jack and Killy. But I do think, of course, the writers just masterfully tie all of these threads together. And I'm curious what takeaways I think for personal, it's it's very easy to see how this happens, right? Constantly perseparating on what's gonna happen. But how do you take care of this in a business context, you know, for a leader of an organization or of a family? Any any takeaways on that?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh a couple, I think. I and I'm gonna I'm gonna go back to giving people a chance to surprise you. I I think you know, it reminded me of, you know, we had the opportunity with our last business where we worked with a lot of uh solopreneurs, right, who started growing their business and who uh often uh were very reluctant to delegate and provide room for growth for people that they hired and brought on board because they were so used to doing everything. And um, so from a business standpoint of giving the, you know, giving other people the opportunity and offloading some of your responsibilities. That's kind of what that quote reminded me. I realized she said it in a very personal context in terms of human relationships, but that's the one thing that um triggered a thought in my mind when she said that because it hits so close to home because we saw it time and time again. People really being reluctant to um hand over the reins and provide other people the opportunity to do something great and grow that is not only beneficial to them as individuals, but also beneficial to an entire organization because you've you then free yourself up uh by placing that trust in other people.

SPEAKER_01:

I think similarly for parenting, that you have to slowly let go of controlling all of the reins to let to trust that you've raised your child to make decisions for themselves. I watched a reel the other day about a mom that was sitting outside the store because she had let her child go in and buy something for themselves, and she wanted to watch and take pictures and video and make sure they were doing it right or call ahead and tell the store that it was gonna happen. But her therapist had said, no, you need to let them do this on their own. And she was so proud when they had that growth and the confidence that it instilled. And that I think is what you're bringing to the party when you do manage to delegate. You said build that trust, but they also build trust in themselves when that happens. So I think it's a critically important leadership lesson, not just uh just a life lesson. But we say leadership is life, so they're one and the same for us.

SPEAKER_02:

They are absolutely one and the same. Yeah. Uh let's switch gears a little bit and let's talk about Nate.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh okay.

SPEAKER_02:

So what do you think? Are we are we on the the upward trend with with Nate? Is is he is he where is he in the state of his uh transformation back to uh maybe the Nate that we we learned to really like a lot in the first couple episodes of this series?

SPEAKER_01:

So you remember in the book where we have the arc from the path from you know, any character's arc from here to there, and you think it's a single arrow, and instead it's a tangled web of ups and downs. So I think this is one of Nate's ups. Will there be some more downs? Of course, especially Nate, because he's complex. He's not gonna just he it's not like I'm cured, so all will be good from here moving forward. It just doesn't work that way. It's messy. That's why we talk about being a work in prog mess, right? Um, so I do think he is on the upward trajectory. I think he's building some confidence. It's interesting to parallel how he's feeling about Jade and how and I think this is often true that the better you feel in your personal life, that impacts, right? You bring your whole self to work too, uh, that it impacts your work life. What did you have on your list for Nate?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, uh, you know, not a ton, but I think just building off of what you said, we saw a little bit of the ups and downs, even in this episode. We saw a whole lot of up. And then we saw the one down where Rupert's like, hey, I'm sorry that Ted um and Beard uh, you know, visited the game today. I'll never let that happen again. And and they started responding with, no, that's okay, it was fun. And then he deleted that, and see he said, good. So, you know, a little bit down. Yeah um, but then we bring it right back up to his conversation with with Jade, where she finally uh labels them as boyfriend and girlfriend. I I have a I have a couple of things with that. First thing that uh that I wrote down was Jade uses a line in here that I think is always so important to remember, where Nate was reading the article um and uh there was a picture of Ted and Henry and Beard, you know, celebrating, and she says something like, You should enjoy your victories, Nate, just like they do. Um, and I I I think of that, and you know, I'm guilty of this, and I've seen so many people around me guilty of it, where like me, they don't sit back and enjoy their victories, they just move on to whatever is next. And I think it's really important to to enjoy and and contemplate, you know, when you have accomplished something, and I think that was a subtle little reminder from Jay to the rest of us, specifically to Nate, but that that's something that is critically important.

SPEAKER_01:

I agree with every bit of that. I felt it that she was speaking to me as well. You know, we talk about how you know the possibilities of season four uh through the lens of Simon Sinek's book, The Infinite Game, where it's not about reaching a goal and then saying, done, and then what do you do next? And but I do think in the infinite game, where you're always aiming to level up and be better and become the better version of yourself, that you do have to take the time to say, okay, this was a great accomplishment to get here. And I think we slash me often forget that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. And and then and then there's the whole labels conversation. That was the main storyline, right? Nate really wanted to label himself as the boyfriend of Jade and vice versa. Um, and we even saw it with Jack and Keely when they were playing Putt Putt, and Keely introduced, I mean, Jack introduced Keely as a friend, which was a bit awkward uh to rehash a little bit of the theme. Um, but it reminded me as we uh had recently done uh you know a session on leading up like lasso, uh, where we had this long conversation about legacy. And we talk about the fact of comparing and contrasting this whole notion of a scoreboard versus the footprints that you leave behind. And the scoreboard is very much about things like accomplishments and uh labels and stats. And the reality is those things change, right? Even with Nate right now, he was single, label changed into boyfriend of Jade. That may change again, could be husband, could be back to single. Um, but the important thing, and I think Jade points this out. Um uh, you know, she's like, I love your smile. I I love to see my boyfriend happy. It's leaving behind how you make other people feel. I think that's the important thing, not necessarily the label of boyfriend, girlfriend. You can take that from the personal life to a professional life where so many people are always enamored with titles and things like that. When I think at the end of the day, that's that's not really what's important. It's okay, are you doing something you love? How are the people around you? How do they feel working with you? Um, I just think of all the places it seemed odd that Nate and Jade kind of pointed that out to me.

SPEAKER_01:

So it's interesting because we say that impacts success as well. We talk about the credential ladder versus the value ladder. And and what do we know from Carnegie's study? 85% of success is based on character skills, soft skills. Those are the same things that land in that legacy column, the how you make someone feel, the value you give to them, the value they feel from you, as opposed to the titles, the awards, etc. So very true.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So what's next on your list?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, so the writers, again, sometimes put a character in front of us that is used to show the opposite of uh maybe what's important to us or kind of as a as a foil to us as opposed to a mirror. And you know, the same workshop that we were doing, we talk about the strengths and weaknesses of Ted as a character and what is one of his biggest weaknesses, that because he's so busy taking care of other people, he doesn't do the self-care for himself. And he's at the table with Michelle, and you always think about what made Michelle crazy about Ted. I mean, it was the always having a joke for everything, never taking things seriously. We talked about that on the last episode, but probably a bit of that too. He's so busy helping others that that she never got to help him, etc. And so we look at who she selected to be with for the time in Jake, and what is he doing? He's going to Paris, not having the dream romantic vacation that Ted would have dreamed of having with Michelle. He's taking selfies, he's having pictures, he's having people take pictures of himself by himself in the various places. And I think that's just a good counter to okay, maybe this is something Michelle saw in Ted and went in the completely opposite direction. And maybe she'll come back to a different conclusion.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah, I think that's I think that's brilliant. I love the insight into the the foil. But I and and again, speaking of the writers, you know, not only was it Dr. Jacob, but they remind us again and again when when when Roy confronted Keely first, apologizing and not apologizing, but asking her how she she was with the release of the video, you know, at the end of the day, it kind of was all about Roy, that conversation, because he wanted to know who she was for, yeah, who the video was for. And then we saw it again with Jack. You know, it was all about Jack ultimately because she didn't want to be seen with somebody who would put that type of video out there. And then the writer surprised us one last time and bring Jamie back to the uh the fold. Um, when Jamie approaches Keely and just again wants to know how she's doing, and we find out that Keely actually created the video for Jamie. The video, of course, that she does not regret, that she's not embarrassed about. She had a good reason um to send it. Um, but I think the the funniest part of that was Jamie was the one who was adamant about always deleting all the videos. Yeah. And he admitted to making a mistake, and he has that great password on his email. Um password with two S's. How can everybody guess that?

SPEAKER_01:

Coming from uh, you know, our work with the IT space, I think everyone there gives a big shout out to Ted Lasso for basically rethinking your uh you know, your security, your privacy and security on the internet. Thank you for that. An important leadership principle as well for the record.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't think unless you uh unless you wanted to, I think we're gonna we're gonna take a deeper dive into Isaac and Colin in these subsequent episodes. Oh, agreed. Do you have anything you want to speak about on that?

SPEAKER_01:

I agreed. I think I think the writers doing what they do. Uh and frankly, I appreciate it, Isaac pausing, moving on. But yeah, well, there will be more on that for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Anything else?

SPEAKER_01:

Um got that one. What is this last note? Uh no, I think we got them all. I just the last note I just read was awkward.

SPEAKER_02:

So apparently that is how I felt about the whole that's perfectly fitting because this seems like an awkward ending. So we'll say that is our whistle whistle. Game's over. Let the leadership lessons keep playing.

SPEAKER_01:

As a reminder, you can find us here, there, and every effingware at lead it like lasso on social, of course on leaditlike lasso.com. And we'd love for you to check out our snarky sidekick and newsletter, work in progress.ai. And be sure to like, follow, subscribe, because apparently the algorithms really like that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. And I think our last edition, we talked about the power of cussing. So I appreciate that you said here, there, and every F and where. Uh so until next time, stay curious, stay kind, and keep leaving a like lasso.

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Marnie Stockman

Host
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Nick Coniglio

Host