57: From Braids To Silk Press: A Black Woman’s Hair Journey

Hair carries memory, culture, and the everyday work of showing up. I open up about life with thick, curly hair—from toddler photos where my curls were bigger than me to a present-day silk press that finally feels like balance. You’ll hear the real differences between a “perm” for straight hair versus Black hair, why heat is both a tool and a threat, and how I weigh the trade-offs that come with shine, swing, and scalp health. This is a practical guide and a personal story in one, built from years of braids, weaves, trims, and do-overs.

We get into the fine print of protective styles: the hours they demand, the take-downs that test your patience, and the small techniques that keep them fresh—sealing ends, gentle wash routines, and scalp access. I share what changed when I moved away from chemicals, wrestled with shrinkage and dryness, and learned a silk press could give me ease without losing myself. Expect concrete details on tools and routines, from brush-dryer combos that won’t snap off in coils to heat protectants and wrapping at night with flexi rods or pin curls to hold shape.

There’s mindset work here too. Two sisters, same parents, different textures—proof that comparison robs joy. I talk about releasing length envy, prioritizing healthy ends and low manipulation, and embracing grays when I want to and dye when I don’t. Biotin, prenatal vitamins, rosemary mint oil, and weekly wash habits show up as supporting players, not miracle cures. If you’ve ever juggled identity, practicality, and beauty through your hair, you’ll feel seen and leave with strategies to try next wash day.

Enjoy the conversation? Follow the show, share this episode with a friend who gets the Black hair journey, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find us. Your stories and tips make this community stronger—what routine is working for you right now?

Episode 15: What Is Dry Shampoo?

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/15-what-is-dry-shampoo/id1677891195?i=1000638393181

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Setting The Scene
• 1:16 Family Hair Traits And Identity
• 4:25 Perms, Heat, And Hair Care Reality
• 8:53 Braids, Weaves, And Maintenance
• 14:20 Going Natural And Choosing Silk Press
• 18:40 Growth Goals, Supplements, And Care

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:41

Hi guys, and welcome to another episode of Turn to Pete Podcast. This is one of your co-hosts, one of eight. This is just like two of four episodes I'm recording today with just me. Full disclosure, I am fully in bed right now because I'm on my period this week and I just feel all over my body. I usually don't, but it's like my whole body hurts right now. So I was like, you know what? Let me just work from bed today and add a few things I wanted to talk about, and Shree wasn't available. So I was like, you know what? Let me just record these solo um and get them out into the world. But yeah, so today we are talking about my natural hair journey. Oh guys. And just my hair journey in general. So take it back to the beginning, back 39 years ago when I was born, October 5th, 1986. Came out of the womb with a head full of curly black hair, thick curly black hair. Um, and it has stayed like that, texture thick and curly for my whole entire life. I have pictures of myself from when I was like a toddler. My hair is like bigger than me. My parents used to call me Don King. My hair is so thick and just like not even coarse, it's just like thick and tangly and curly, and we get it from our dad's side, we get it from our dad's mom, our grandmom. She's since passed on. But her hair was gorgeous, it was so thick, and she had like a head full of hair, and just um, for as long as I can remember, she always used to wear she used to wear wigs. But before the grandkids, her hair was like out and stuff, but I had seen her hair like without the wig, obviously, because she wouldn't wear it like in the house. But and her hair was like a head full of gray hair when she was older, when she got older, and it was just thick and long, and it's just like I have a picture in my head right now, which is amazing. But I have had quite the journey with my hair, so I just feel like being a black woman, just like your hair is just like a whole it's like a whole separate entity of you. Like there are different grades of hair, even if you were like if like for example, Tawana and Cherie come from the same parents. We are full blood siblings, we have two different versions of hair. Like Cherie's hair is thick and long, but she also came out of the womb uh 32 years ago with a head full of thick black curly hair. Like we both did. Our baby pictures are identical. You have to really look at us in the face to tell which is which, and probably also like the picture quality, because one's from the late 80s and one's from the midn like the early mid-90s, if you're really into photography like that, and like maybe like the props, which is many, there were hospital pictures, there were no props really. So you really have to like look at it and tell who was who because we look identical because we both came out with a head full of curly black hair, thick curly black hair, and both of my boys did too. My niece, her hair got like that as she got older, got older, she'll be three. But her hair, she has so much hair now, and it's just like my sister does it every Sunday, it's super cute, and her hair now is thick, black, and curly. Um she didn't come out like that, but her hair took some more time to grow, but her hair is like that now, and I I just love it. But um, so my sister's hair is long, it's always been longer than mine, which is fine, not mattering. This is an example of like you could be a black woman, same family, full full blood siblings, and you just have different grades of hair, but she's still got thick hair. Like I both got it from her grandmom on her dad's side, or dad's mom. Thick curly hair, and um she her hair is longer than mine. My hair, when it's wet, that's when it's naturally look when it looks the most well it's in its most natural state is when it's wet. It's curly and it's scrunchies. Like it looks like I have an afra when my hair is wet, but only when you blow dry it out and you sh you do a blowout and you straighten it. I got a silk press recently. My hair is not curly anymore, obviously, because the curl the silk press straightened my curls out, but my hair is long, it's not super long like my sister's, but like my sister's gotten her hair cut and trimmed, but hers is past her shoulders, mine is like almost to my shoulders. Um and my hair has always been like thick and full. So sometimes now with the silk press, like my hair looks flat just because of like I guess the way that like the silk press that my hair took the silk press. But when I run my hands through it, I can like barely get my hand through it because it's so thick, but I think like fluff it up and I'm gonna get a round brush. But this is my hair without any chemicals on it. So also like just a little like history or just like facts. So African Americans and Caucasian, our hair obviously is different, and like the process that we do with our hair is also obviously different. So when you get a perm in the Caucasian community, their perms make their hair curly. African American community with perm, it makes your hair straight, like bone straight, and it lasts for like six to eight weeks. It's chemicals they put in your hair, and you have to like sit with it on your head for I don't know how long, but if it's on too long, it burns your scalp. And every black girl listening who've gotten a perm knows what I'm talking about. The perm burn. Um, it burns her scalp if it's on too long, and it just like bone straightens your hair. And in that time, you cannot get your hair wet because it'll like the perm will just like not melt out, but like your hair would no longer be bone straight. It'll will also depend on the course of your hair and the grade of your hair. So whenever I was wearing a perm and like my hair was like wet, like if I got it wet in the rain, it would just like go lip, like it would just start to curl up again and not look bone straight. And in full disclosure, like you can wash your hair when you have a perm, you can get like touch-ups, but you'll just have to blow dry and straighten it. It won't be as straight as the first time because the perm's coming out like six to eight weeks, but um you just have to straighten it. But also heat is like kind of funny with black girls bec on our hair because you don't want to put too much heat like blow dryer and straightener because it can dam heat can damage your hair, but you also need to crank up the heat a bit sometimes, depending on like the grade of your hair, because if your hair is super curly and you're trying to straighten it, you're gonna need like to crank that bad boy up to like the highest to get that curl out. So it's kind of like a love-hate relationship. It's interesting. They have they have a bunch of heat protectants that you can use. Um yeah, so that's a perm, and that's chemicals in your hair. So I've not worn a per gotten a perm in like it's been years. And before I got perms, I was getting my hair braided. My mom is braiding it, so it was still in central state, and or I was going to the salon to get it braided, which I love how I look in braids, it looks super cute. Um, but I go through phases where I wear braids and when I don't, but I do love myself in braids. I've gone through many variations of braids as well, different colors and like different types of braids. And again, depending on like what type of braid you have, you could be at the salon all day. Um I've never gotten micro braids. Big ups to the African American women that have gotten micro braids, bless you. Because if you're in the salon literally like all day, unless multiple people are doing your hair. Um, because they're super small, but they look so good. They're so cute, but I would could never sit for that long. I'm talking like twelve like hours. I have gotten braids where like they all my black women know what I'm about to say, where they would take a match and they would like burn the end of the hair, the braid, it would like turn into a cone so the braid could stay in. I've also had braids where like no match involved, but it'll use the type of hair where like if you put it in water it'll curl so that'll keep the braid in, or they tie the bottom at the end of the braid, like they'll just tie it. So that I've also had weave in my hair like numerous times. I used to get weave in my hair a lot in college, and I used to also experiment with the different colors. I've had blonde weave, it's been like super curly, like super straight, and like there's also different variations of putting weave in your hair, so you can glue it in, which is not my favorite. I think I've gotten it once, and that was just like a front part for my sister's wedding. There's also another way where you braid your actual hair, like in cornrows, and the hairstylist will sew the weave in the braid. Um that lasts for like four to six weeks. The takeout is a pain. Depending on the hair that you have, you can wash it when you have it in there. Same with the braids, and the braids also the takeout is it's a pa also. I've again been through many versions of this. Like when I was younger, um, my mom would take out my braids and it would take hours to take them out. And then you'd have to wash your hair after that because it hadn't been washed, because that hair that I had, I think you couldn't wash it. I can't remember. There's some hair that when you have in, you can't wash it because it'll just mess it up, and that's just a waste of money, obviously. But they do have now like hair that you can wash while it's in your head, which is good. Because again, black women, you know, like our h our scalp gets oily, it gets flaky, it gets nasty. It needs to be, you know, moisturized and maintenance and loved on. So right now I wash my hair once a week. Once I didn't wash it this past Sunday because I had just gotten it done the week before that was already washed. But I'm probably gonna wash it again this coming Sunday, or I think I'm gonna go see my hairstylist again this week. So I'll just let her wash it. I won't need to because you know they use like the best products and it's just nothing better. Like your hair is never as good as as it is when you get done this one. But my hair, I had braids before the silk press. So no more braids for now. And I did have natural before. Well, my hair is still natural, but I had um my hair was curly before, it's coily, it's curly, the shrinkish shrinkage is real. My grays were coming through. I've had gray hair for like years, don't know why. But I wanted to get my hair straight, but not use like a lot of um heat. So my hair girl, I asked her about a silk press, and she said that's a great idea. So I went in, got the silk press, she did a blowout, and then she straightened my hair, and then it has been straight for like over a week. Well, she curled it, and then my curls fell like the next day, just because my hair is super curly, but also when you straighten it and like you really straighten it, it will not hold a curl the way that it was done. So we're trying a different method, which I think is gonna be like different types of curling uh rollers. So my hair might hold those, but yes, so I've had perms, I've had braids, I've had weave, and this is my first time getting a silk press, but I do want to keep my hair in a silk press. I love it. So when I wash it at home, I'm gonna wash it and blow dry and straighten it, and then it'll stay straight for a couple of weeks because I have and that's like wrapping it at night, or I can curl it like with flexi rods, which we're gonna use at the hair salon, and that should be good, or I can pin curl it. Uh my b um, black woman, you know the terms that I'm using, you know what I'm talking about. My again, my hair's always been full and thick, and that's not the problem. I want my hair to grow like lengthwise. I think it only I'm not sure. It will make me sad though. Grow to like a certain point that it just like stops and it just starts like continues growing full and like which is fine. But my hairstylist, like I get my hair, like whenever I go, she'll trim my ends if I need them and like starting fresh and like getting rid of old growth and all of that. But my hair grows super quick, the fullness of it, but I need it to grow super quick lengthwise. So it's like I'm blessed with really like curly, thick, full hair. Very blessed for that. Feel very grateful for that. Missing the piece of the length that I want. Like, if I had my sister's length and the hair I still have now, I'd be amazing. My hair is still amazing, but yes, and then also my nails grow super fast. Like my hair, my nails are super quick with growing, and they've always been like that. Not sure why, because I don't haven't drunk milk since I've since I've been a toddler. I don't like milk. I drink it sometimes, like in things. Like I just had black tea with milk, but I you will never catch me drinking a glass of white milk. If you do, you need to ask me if I'm okay, and then knock the glass out of my hand. My children and their dad love milk. I'm buying like two to three gallons of milk every single time I go to the store because they all three love it, and I just can't. They say calcium helps your nails grow. I don't know what's helping my nails my nails have always been great at growing and same with my hair. I mean, I eat broccoli because there's enough calcium in there for that. But again, that's just another thing I'm blessed with. It's always been like that. And now, since I've gotten older, I've been taking I've al my my mom has always given my sister nine vitamins, for me vitamins since we were younger, and we have just like continued that on. But like since I've gotten older, I've like, you know, researched different supplements and stuff for like hair growth and like you know, took prenatal vitamins with both my kids and restarted like my vitamin regimen after both of them were born and everything. But I take biotine, which is good for your hair and your nails. So it just kind of like like I was saying with the prenatals, it's like it had biotine in it and like it helped like your nails and like your hair grow, but I'm like my hair and nails are already growing fine. So it just kind of just like added to it. Like I know a lot um a lot of women after they have birth they deal with postpartum hair loss who think like blessed have never dealt with that. My hair kept growing. There was a that was never a problem. So that and it's always been such a journey for me with my hair because I feel like if you're a black woman and if you don't know how to do your hair, it's almost like that's like your rite of passage. And it's been such a journey for me, and it's been like frustrating a lot because it's like I'll see black women with like gorgeous hair, whether it's like natural or in a perm or like they just it looks in my mind, it's like, oh, their hair looks better than mine. But it's like I don't know the story behind that. I don't know how long it took for them to perfect that craft, or if they just get it done all the time, which is also fine. Like that's part of like getting maintenance in your hair, is going to get going to the salon and getting it done. Because as an African American woman, your hair is a full-time job. Like, depending on the style you get and like the time of year, you have to be really committed to know what you need to do. And for braids, I had braids during birth pregnancies because it was like lower maintenance for me. When it's curly and like coily and shrinkage, like I have a hard time with that because it gets like really dry and I don't know how to take care of it like that. But now that it's a silk press, I've been doing so much better. I've been putting um scalp oil, rosemary mint scalp oil on it, and that's supposed to help with like the length of your hair, which amazing, and then hair grease and just you know, you know, just moisturizing it and stuff. But my hair is still straight, um, still thick. We still got that, which is good. But I also just got a new blow dryer. It's actually a comb, it's a it's a brush, but it's a hair dryer, like it's not the old school like hair dryer with like the extra piece you have to put on for the comb. And like my hair is so thick that it used to break the teeth on the combs all the time. We've had so many like attachments and replacements, and like right next to the pink lotion, and just like oh my god. It's like a whole story in and of itself, like African American hair for women. It's a whole thing. For men too, I'm sure, but I'm speaking as my ex from my experience as being a black woman. But it's just a whole thing. It's a it's a labor of love, like and also I got I dyed my hair black because I didn't want to see the grays anymore. So it's just black, which is my natural color. But I've also had my hair dyed brown, so many different colors. Um, it had highlights in my hair, everything, which is like so funny. It's just like I feel like your hair like tells a story. But anyway, so I got a new blow dryer, Revlon. I'm excited to use it. Um, it's just one big brush, and you plug it in and you just, you know, said it's good for curly hair, and it said it's good for African American. We've heard that I have 4C. Um, so we'll see. And I remember I don't know what kind of straightener I have now, I forget the name, but it gets the job done. But I remember when Chi was so big back in the day, I wanted a Chi straightener, so and I think I ended up getting one, but it was like um not even refurbished. I think it was just like I think I forgot where I got it from, but it like wasn't full price. But I was so excited when I got it because it was like the and came into my different colors. I think it had a black one and it was like the thin one. And I remember the heat protecting, the chi heat protector um that you would spray on before you straightened your hair. But that's all. Like I said, it's a journey, it's been a labor of love. I am learning to embrace my hair and just, you know, this is what it is. I mean, I love it. It has been with me, you know, for thirty-nine years, been through so much in college as well. It may have kind of put like a probably delayed my hair length wise, because I went to a hairstylist before a beach party, and she cut my hair uneven. Like one side was up to my chin, the other side was like sh either shorter long, I can't remember. But then she had the audacity to curl it so you could tell. Like it wasn't like, you know, a little bit, it was like literally two length two visible lengths, different lengths of hair. Then, like I said, she had the audacity to curl it, so it looked ridiculous. And then I had to just like go back to another salon and like cut it completely short to start again and it grew up pretty fast, but I was like, Oh my gosh, she messed up my hair. But I have since recovered since then, but I think it's still it's still traumatizing to me because I can still picture it my hair. No, thank you. We are past that. But yeah, so this is just my journey with natural hair. Um I know Shere and I did a b episode a couple months ago um about our hair journey as well. Let me pull it up because we talked about just like being a black woman and just hair, you know. I think it was called I'm looking it up right now. I believe it was called Yes, it was back on December 13th, 2023, episode 15, and we called it What is Dry Shampoo? And we talked about hair, natural hair, weave braids, etc. And the oftentimes burdened it feels that black woman us have to carry just because of our hair. Um, we shared our perspective, our experiences living in our skin with our hair. So if we want to take a listen to that one that was from almost two it was two years ago, December. Episode 15, What is Dry Shampoo? Yeah, so two years later, we are still going on this journey with our hair. And here we are. So thanks for joining us, guys. And uh please like, listen, subscribe and review. And if you can find it in me to give a five-star review, we'd love you for it. We love you for it either way, even if you didn't. But please like, listen, subscribe, and review, and share. Share this with you know, one of your girls who understands what it's like to be a black woman with hair. With all the hair. All right, guys, I'll talk to you soon. Bye.