The Cluttered Path

#19 The Pursuit of Happiness: Bad Idea or Worthy Goal?

• Mangudai Six Productions • Season 2 • Episode 19

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Why does a man with $2.1 trillion (five times Elon Musk's wealth) conclude that everything is "vanity and striving after wind"? King Solomon's ancient wisdom on happiness finds surprising validation in modern psychological research.

We've put happiness on a pedestal as life's ultimate goal, but what if chasing it directly is actually counterproductive? This episode dives into fascinating research from Jonathan Haidt's "The Happiness Hypothesis" revealing why achievements often feel anticlimactic and why circumstances—both good and bad—have surprisingly little long-term effect on our happiness levels.

Discover the scientific formula for happiness (H = S + C + V) and why your voluntary actions contribute a whopping 40% to your well-being while your circumstances account for just 10%. We explore the crucial difference between pleasures (which feel good momentarily) and gratifications (which engage us fully and create lasting satisfaction), and why "flow states" might be the secret to meaningful fulfillment.

The conversation takes a provocative turn examining Buddha's philosophy of non-attachment. What if the enlightened one missed something crucial by never actually speaking with the suffering people he observed? Perhaps complete detachment isn't the answer—our greatest joys and deepest meaning come precisely from the connections that make us vulnerable to pain.

Whether you're fascinated by ancient wisdom, modern psychology, or simply seeking a more meaningful approach to well-being, this episode offers valuable insights on living with purpose beyond the happiness trap. What worthy pursuits will you dedicate yourself to?

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Todd:

This is the Cluttered Path, a compass for midlife. We put happiness on a pedestal as some sort of ultimate goal in life. The pursuit of happiness is actually enshrined in the US Constitution. But what if chasing happiness is actually a trap? The thing is, happiness comes and goes, so we need to ask ourselves whether there's something deeper and more meaningful to aim for. So today we're asking the question about the pursuit of happiness. Is it a bad idea or a worthy goal? My name's Todd and I'm here with James. Hi, james, good morning.

James:

Todd, hope you're well.

Todd:

Let's start with a story about King Solomon. He lived about 3,000 years ago and he became king of Israel after his father, king David, died. And the interesting thing here is he was maybe 24 years old at the time, so he was very young Solomon. He was very pious, he loved God and he worshipped him. So God appeared to Solomon in a dream one night and he said hey, solomon, ask what you want from me.

Todd:

And out of humility, solomon came back with this. He said look, you've made me king, although I'm just a little child. Give me an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil. And that actually pleased God. And he said look, because you asked this and did not ask for riches or long life, I'm going to give you that wise and discerning mind so that nobody like you has been before you and nobody after is going to be like you. I'm going to give you what you ask for, but I'm also going to give you riches and honor, so no other king is going to be able to compare with you.

James:

Wow yeah. So that's not what I would expect a 24 year old to ask for himself. Nope.

Todd:

If God were to appear to me and ask that question, I'd be like, yeah, you know God, I'd put on a pious face and go. You know God, make me rich so I can do good things for other people. I always couch my greed in charitable terms to make it feel better. But Solomon it's interesting that he's only 24 and he was already wise beyond his years because of his ask of God. Now, solomon, he did become a wise man and his gift of wisdom was legendary. He became a prolific writer, a poet and a scientist. He ended up writing over 3,000 proverbs and 1,000 songs. He produced scientific manuals. He spent time describing nature, plants and animals, so he became known as the wisest man on earth.

Todd:

Now, hearing the stories, there was a queen at the time, the Queen of Sheba. She'd heard the legend of Solomon, so she paid him a visit. Now she was a ruler in what is modern day Yemen. She was very wealthy worth about a billion dollars in today's dollars and she visited Jerusalem to see for herself and the scene was just too much for her to take in and the story says that her breath was just taken away and she said look, I heard in my own land of your words and your wisdom. So I came to see for myself. But they didn't even tell me the half of it, and your people are happy.

James:

Yeah, it's very interesting. More often than not, today's state's officials visits to other countries are like a non-event Right.

Todd:

And this state of visit. It was a colossal event. So he was very wise. But Solomon's wealth was also legendary. I mean he had massive revenue streams coming in. There was just the incoming of gold that he amassed. It was like 50,000 pounds of gold per year, so that's like $2.3 billion of gold coming in. They also collected tribute and taxes from countries that Israel ruled. So Solomon's wealth was so immense that silver was just regarded as gravel, just common as stones. And if we want to compare Solomon's wealth to the world's richest people, there is a Forbes list of richest people out there and Elon Musk is at the top. He's worth $442 billion, but King Solomon's net worth in today's dollars $2.1 trillion. So that's about five times the wealth of Elon Musk. Wow.

James:

Yeah, I can't fathom that that's such immense wealth.

Todd:

Yes, Now Solomon. This is the classic story of the most talented human being who achieved more success than anyone in human history. And we'll hear more about Solomon as we go, but today we're discussing topics from a book called the Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. If you'd like to pick up a copy of the book, check out the link in the episode description. As an Amazon partner, our podcast earns from qualified purchases at no extra cost to you, so help us pay the bills.

James:

If you'd like to pick up a copy of the book, yeah, we'd appreciate that. The burning question is whether success brought Solomon joy and satisfaction in life.

Todd:

The very first lesson we can take from King Solomon is this External fulfillment. It's an illusion. So Solomon's reflections on his own life as an older man. They're very helpful for us today, in the book of Ecclesiastes. Here are his words. I mean he spent time in his life pursuing any and all avenues of success and happiness. He pursued power first and foremost. He said look, I'm a preacher and I've been king over Israel. And when it comes to wisdom, he said, look, I applied my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly, but with power and wisdom. He just concluded this. He said look, if you got a lot of wisdom, it deprives you of peace and tranquility.

James:

With increased knowledge comes increased sorrow, yeah, and I just want to add here that that rings so true with me today.

Todd:

It's like I gave up news a few weeks ago and I feel so much better for it oh right, I can't watch the news, man. So he pursued that man, power and wisdom, and after, at the end of his life, he's just like hey, it's just robbed me of my peace and I'm just gave me sorrow. But then he also pursued pleasures, and he said this. He said I know what I'll pursue pleasures. So, Solomon, enjoy yourself. So he searched out ways to cheer up himself with wine and he built houses and vineyards, parks and gardens for his own enjoyment.

Todd:

But with regards to that, he just concluded look, laughter is just madness. Pleasure, it's of no use. And that's why we can't fantasize. We fantasize about retiring and laying on a beach somewhere, just relaxing for the rest of our days. We can't do that because pleasure, it's limited in its ability to please us, right? So then he threw himself into work and he said look, I considered all the work I'd done and all the toil I expended doing it. But with that he just concluded look, I just hated all my work, seeing that I'm going to do all this work and I'm just going to leave everything to somebody else. That person may be wise, or they may be a fool. So his final conclusions, looking back on his life, he just said look the wise person they died just like the fool. It's all vanity and striving after wind. So there's just nothing to be gained from these pursuits.

James:

So Solomon had everything power, pleasure and wealth but he still felt empty.

Todd:

Yes, and we now have scientific research that tells us why. Now, from the book, research points us to what scientists call the adaptation principle. And if you think about your best and worst experience in life, maybe your best experience could be you're a startup founder that sells your company one day for $100 million. So in a moment all your dreams come true. You get an insane amount of wealth coming in and it does change your life forever. That's the best experience. Now what about the worst experience? Let's say you have a horrible accident, you're hit by a bus and you become a paraplegic. You wake up in the hospital and the doc's like look, you're never going to walk again. So naturally you're going to initially be in this horrible pit of despair because your life's changed forever in that scenario too. But here's what the adaptation principle says Whatever happens to us in life, good or bad, we're going to adapt to that new circumstance and return to a baseline state of happiness. So whether you become a paraplegic or if you're a startup founder, billionaire, you're going to have some level of happiness down the road and you're going to return to a baseline. That is quite interesting, yeah, and it makes me think of the story of Lex Luger.

Todd:

He was a pro wrestler, famous back in the 80s, 90s, whatnot, but he was also a former NFL football player. He was 6'6 and 275 pounds, at his peak Now. During his athletic career he had bone spurs that formed on his neck and on a long flight he was sitting there talking to someone on a transcontinental flight and so just in there for a long time he was sitting there with his neck cranked to one side talking to someone next to him and his neck started to hurt. So then he landed, went to the hotel and they just went to bed and overnight there was swelling that took place and he awoke the next morning completely paralyzed, from the chest down. He could move his arms, but he couldn't do anything else. He laid there in a panic and he just sat there screaming, trying to get someone to come help him.

Todd:

Now, years later, he was a patient at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta and I actually had lunch with Lex Luger Interestingly enough, it was just the two of us and we just sat there eating cafeteria food and he told me his life story. He was sitting there in a motorized wheelchair and I'm sitting across from him and his limbs were a bit twisted, a little bit because of the nerve damage, but he was still a massive human being. I was just sitting there looking at his thighs, like this guy is huge, and I felt like a child sitting across from him. But here's what he said about his paralysis he's like look, todd, as a pro wrestler, football player, whatever, I had success and I had all this money, I had Porsches, I had big houses, he said. But I was surrounded by people that were just users, losers and abusers. That's what he called them. It was just people that wanted something from him. But after the paralysis he said this he's like look, I've got friends now for the first time in my life.

James:

Yeah, lex found a good perspective on bad circumstances. Yes, he did yeah.

Todd:

Wow. So King Solomon adapted to his wealthy lifestyle, and then Lex Luger adapted to his paralysis. So, lex, his story. He goes from extreme wealth and all the advantages in life and living in luxury to paralysis and poverty. Now, at first I felt sorry for him, but as I sat there talking to him, the guy really motivated me, because he pepped me up from his wheelchair, no less. So that's the adaptation principle.

Todd:

Now what about our accomplishments? And thinking about King Solomon, scientists talk about the progress principle when it comes to our accomplishments, and what this means is when you achieve something, the enjoyment is usually limited or even non-existent. Now why is that? It's because our minds give priority to anticipation over the actual achievement. So your achievements could be. For myself, I mean, I graduated boot camp from the Marines. It was actually a surreal experience. I wasn't euphoric, I was just tired, I was just ready to go home. I ended up sleeping for like three hours after that. I was just tired, I was just ready to go home. I ended up sleeping for like three hours after that. Also, graduating from college, that was kind of a letdown because it's like okay, now I got to get to work, what next? So the joy. It ended up being in the daily grind and looking forward to accomplishing the goal.

Todd:

And so the author's take Jonathan Haidt. He said this about accomplishments. He said look, when it comes to goal pursuit, it really is the journey that counts, not the destination, the final moment of success. It's often no more thrilling than the relief of taking off a heavy backpack at the end of a long hike. So the takeaway here is whether we have good or bad circumstances in life, they really don't matter that much long term. And Solomon's conclusion was look, success, it's all vanity. Chasing after win, it's just meaningless. And today we've got that scientific research showing us why. The adaptation principle and the progress principle, wow so the message sounds pretty bleak.

James:

How about some data that paints a slightly happier?

Todd:

Right. If we stop there, I could easily turn into a nihilist thinking that nothing matters, so why bother? And then the words of the Dave Matthews song eat, drink and be merry, because tomorrow we die. We don't stop there, though. Here's some good news there is an actual scientific formula for happiness. But let's start by defining what we mean by happiness.

Todd:

Looking at the word happiness, we're talking about a feeling or some state of well-being and contentment. You could also say satisfaction in life, or even joy, and there's a book called Authentic Happiness, written by a fellow named Martin Seligman, and he actually came up with a formula for happiness and it goes like this H equals S plus C plus V. So our happiness, here's the formula S, that's our biological set point. This means we have a genetic predisposition towards happiness or unhappiness. This is the part of us that we cannot change, and that's why some people you encounter they're kind of miserable to be around. Maybe they're sorry, sad sacks, but others seem happy and bubbly and they can be annoying too. But that's our genetic predisposition.

Todd:

And you know what, in the formula, that accounts for 50% of our happiness state. So that's the S part. So the C in the equation, that's our circumstances. These are life circumstances where external factors contribute to our happiness and the interesting part here is they only account for about 10% of our baseline happiness level. And now the V, h equals S plus C plus V. The V, that is our voluntary action. These are activities that are within our control and they account for 40% of our happiness. So biological set point out of our control, just part of our personality. It puts us somewhere on a spectrum of positive or negative outlook Circumstances. They have the least influence, but voluntary actions they put us in a better place on the happiness scale.

James:

Interesting. Yeah, I would have thought circumstances would have had a much larger influence on that.

Todd:

Same for me, and the book does cover circumstances along with things you can do to improve your situation. Now we don't have enough time to dig into that subject, but the book is packed with tons of info, so I highly recommend it.

James:

So this is a good reminder that your own state of mind is your own responsibility.

Todd:

Yes, I totally agree, and we do have a responsibility here, even if it means getting help from others, and let's dig more into that subject. Let's talk about the voluntary actions that bring us joy. Now there's power in that V component of the happiness equation. But the author gives a warning. He's like look, not all actions are beneficial. So if you're out there chasing knowledge, wealth, power and pleasures, those are not necessarily beneficial. Sex and food they're good, but too much of it can leave us feeling disgusted with ourselves. And also conspicuous consumption. If we're going out and buying a Lambo and things like that, we're prioritizing things over people. That's not beneficial and also pursuing these wrong activities that can lead to mental and physical health issues. So just be aware of that. So let's talk about the beneficial actions as part of that V component of the happiness equation.

Todd:

Let's start with the benefits of internal mental work. Now you can start out your day doing breathing exercises that calm your mind. In the middle of the day, when you're stressed, you can spend five minutes doing box breathing exercises. We won't get into that today, but doing breathing exercises that calm your heart rate and get you just at peace. There's also daily meditative practices that can help you see beyond immediate stressors and then doing things like gratitude journaling we talked about in the past, and also cognitive reframing. Now, that's a psychological technique that you can use to identify your negative view of life situations, your negative view of your experiences, negative view of events and ideas. You have to identify this is a pretty negative view and then you follow a process to challenge your perspective on that issue and that's how you change it. And doing cognitive reframing is one method that we can use to rewire the neural network inside of our heads. That's a beneficial activity. So that's internal mental work.

Todd:

Now, what about inconspicuous spending? The author talked about this. He said you should spend money on experiences rather than things. Experiences they're shared with others and they help create connection. Shared with others and they help create connection. So stop trying to keep up with the Joneses by buying expensive toys and spend your money on family time, vacations and other activities that bond you with other people.

James:

That's why money is not evil in and of itself.

Todd:

Right. It's how we view money that matters and how we're using it that really matters. Now the author also talked about the benefits of getting into what he called a flow state. So that's a state of total immersion in a hard task that matches up quite well to our skills and abilities. Now, many people enjoy this state more than sensual pleasures, and some people call it being in the zone, but the psychologists have settled on the term flow, and when you're in a flow state, it just feels like effortless movement. Flow happens and you just go with it. Now, getting more details on this, it often occurs with physical activity things like skiing, driving a fast car, playing team sports, stuff like that. It's also aided by the actions of other people around you of other people around you. So if you're singing in a choir I don't know if you've ever done that, but singing in a choir, in harmony with others around you, you can reach a flow state and it just feels so good. Dancing, reaching a flow state with your dance partner, or simply getting into a deep conversation. So these are actions of others around you that help you get into a flow state. Now there's also solo activities in a creative sense that you can pursue to help you get the flow state. So if you're an artist, maybe you're painting a picture or maybe you're writing or even a photographer so these creative activities you can get yourself into a flow state where it just feels effortless and you're accomplishing things.

Todd:

Then it comes to spiritual matters. This is where we're studying to transform the mind. You're spending time in meditation or prayer on, maybe, the tenets of your faith. You also want to spend time trying to align behaviors with beliefs. Nobody wants to be a hypocrite. You also want to identify character flaws and say, hey, here are areas where I need to improve. And then just general spiritual growth Prayer and meditation can help with that. And then, along the lines of spiritual activity serving others, you can reach a flow state doing that. But here are the keys to flow it has to be something worthy of pursuing, there has to be a challenge involved and it has to fully engage your attention. You have to possess skills to meet the challenge. So I'm not going to reach flow state if I go out on an NFL practice field and start trying to play with those guys.

Todd:

I don't have the skills for that, so I need to possess skills that match the challenge. And what happens in flow state is you're getting immediate feedback on how you're doing at each step, and that aligns with the progress principle, where we get satisfaction out of that. So you get this flash after flash of positive emotion during an activity in flow state.

James:

I think we can all relate to reaching flow state with worthwhile activities.

Todd:

Flow state. It's a good feeling. It's like Neo in that movie, the Matrix you feel confident, capable, unstoppable, and it's the opposite of that very common nightmare where you're running away from a bad guy while walking in mud. Here's another worthwhile activity. The author recommends that we arrange our lives to find balance between pleasures and gratifications. Now let's talk about the difference between those. Now, pleasures, they're like sensual delights that spark emotion in us Eating good food, having sex, back rubs, seeing a beautiful sunset, standing there enjoying a cool breeze. So these are sensual things that spark emotion in us.

Todd:

But here's the thing there's no lasting benefit from those activities. You feel good in the moment, but there's nothing afterwards. Now they're not bad, but too much sensual pleasure we end up overdosing and deadening ourselves to future pleasure, almost like a drug. Gratifications, however, these are much more fulfilling activities. So these are activities that engage you fully. They draw on your strengths and they allow you to lose your self-awareness, and they ask more of us. We get challenged by gratifications and they make us extend ourselves. They often come from accomplishing something or learning something or improving something. These gratifications are associated with the flow state where hard work becomes effortless and we actually want to exert ourselves more and more so that we get better.

Todd:

Now the author did a scientific experiment with his students on pleasures versus gratifications. He assigned activities. He said first thing I want you to do is indulge in a pleasure, and specifically I want you to take a break and eat some ice cream during the day and enjoy it. Second, I want you to perform three gratifications. I want you to attend a lecture that you normally don't go to. I want you to perform an act of kindness for a friend who's down. I also want you to write down reasons you're grateful for someone and then go tell them about it. And here are the results the kindness and gratitude activities, the gratifications. They left the students feeling good the rest of the day or even longer. They experienced long-term benefits from pursuing gratifications. The ice cream it was nice in the moment, but no lasting impact. Once they finished the ice cream, they just moved on.

James:

That don't make sense. It seems like happiness is something that we're experiencing, but we don't get it directly.

Todd:

I know right. I believe that we can enjoy a sense of well-being and contentment, but it's only a byproduct of pursuing other pleasures.

James:

Yeah, devoting our time and energy to worthwhile pursuits and relationships. So where does religion factor into all that?

Todd:

Yeah, this is a biggie. So in his research for Happiness Hypothesis, jonathan Haidt, he studied the life of Buddha and he initially thought that Buddha would provide us the best example of how to live our lives. But he was surprised. Now he was taken in and he was allured by the teachings on the futility of striving. That sounds good and thinking about the promise of inner tranquility from reaching enlightenment. That was great. But he discovered something. He began to think Buddhism might be based on an overreaction or maybe even an error.

James:

Interesting An overreaction. So what does that mean?

Todd:

He went into the life of Buddha. So who was Buddha? He was born Siddhartha Gautama. Hope I'm not butchering the pronunciation, but he was born a king in northern India and his dad had heard some prophecy somewhere that his son would turn his back on the kingdom. So his dad ended up lavishing him with sensual pleasures because he wanted to prevent him from seeing anything that might be disturbing. So Siddhartha ended up being married to a beautiful princess and he was surrounded by a harem of women. But he grew bored with it all. Now, that's the adaptation principle in practice. He was just accustomed to it. It was there, the luxury, the women, and he became curious about the outside world. So he ended up taking a chariot ride over three days.

Todd:

So day one he was going out on a chariot ride and the dad, the king, he ordered all the sick and crippled people to be taken inside because he didn't want his son to see them. But despite his best efforts, they encountered an old man along the way and Siddharth saw him and he says, okay, well, what's going on with this dude? What's wrong with him? And that's where the driver explained what was going on and he discovered that we all grow old. It was a pretty shocking experience for him, and so he retreated back into the palace. Then on day two he went on another ride and he saw his first sick man, someone whose body was contorted by disease. So he asked well, what's going on with that person? And the driver explained that, well, people get sick. That's what happens.

Todd:

So, shocked, he returned back to the palace. And then on day three he saw his first corpse and he told the driver. He's like look, I'm done. He found out that we die and so he's like look, let's turn around and go back to the palace. And he said this this is no time for pleasure excursions. So he ended up going back to the palace. He left his wife, he left the harem and he left his future as the king, and he just went off into the forest and began his journey to enlightenment. And he reached that state. And here's what he taught after reaching enlightenment he said life is suffering and the only way to escape suffering is by breaking attachments that bind us to pleasure, achievement, reputation and life.

James:

So basically just an acceptance that life is suffering.

Todd:

Right. But then Jonathan Haidt asks a very profound question in the book. He said this what would have happened if the young prince Siddhartha had actually descended from his gilded chariot and talked to the people he assumed were so miserable? What if he actually talked to the poor, the elderly, the crippled and the sick? Now, buddha just assumed they were also miserable, and there's actually a psychologist named Robert Biswas Diener. He actually researched those people that are less fortunate and he did a study on sex workers in the slums of Calcutta.

Todd:

Now in India, prostitution is legal. It's just regarded as a necessary evil. Some people have to resort to that. Now we're talking about extremely poor people in the lower caste who have no other choice. Now they live in squalor. But here's what Robert discovered they have close friends that they spend a lot of time with. Interestingly enough, most of the prostitutes stay in touch with their family and their families know what their employment is, and in surveys they actually reported being more satisfied with their lives than dissatisfied.

Todd:

So the psychologist's conclusions were this Look, poor people in Calcutta. They don't lead lives that we would envy, but they do lead meaningful lives Because they're capitalizing on non-material resources available to them and they do find satisfaction available to them. And they do find satisfaction. So Jonathan Haidt's conclusion is Buddha, he might have pitied them, but their lives are actually much better from the inside than what we see from the outside. Now here's a disclaimer. I'm not saying that prostitution is okay. It's a horrible situation and it exploits people. But the point I'm making here is that religious people often look down on the less fortunate and make assumptions about them.

James:

Yes, with religion, we often forget about relationships and intangibles that bring meaning to our lives.

Todd:

Yes, the relationships, the connections, meaningful pursuits. They actually help us experience joy, even in bad circumstances. What are our takeaways here Now? The ancient philosophers? They taught that happiness can only be found within. We have to break attachments to external things and we have to cultivate an attitude of acceptance.

Todd:

But a philosopher named Robert Solomon. He actually disagreed with the Eastern philosophy of non-attachment, and this is the interesting part for me. He said non-attachment is actually an affront to human nature. And why is that? He pointed to reflection and emotional indifference of the Greek and Roman philosophers and this calm, non-striving for anything that was advocated by Buddha. And he concluded that those philosophies, they identify lives that are just destined to avoid passion. And he said look, a life without passion it's not human life. And we have to come back and realize that. Look, while attachments do bring pain, they also bring our greatest joys.

Todd:

Taking it back to Solomon's final analysis pursuing happiness it's like trying to catch the wind. You can't do it. We should strive for accomplishments and enjoy them for sure, but more importantly, we should be passionate about our attachment to God and the people around us. So the key word here is relationships, and I think that is where religion, whether it's Christianity, any religion we have a tendency to forget about the relationships, the things that actually bring meaningful existence. So ask yourself, what worthy purpose can you dedicate yourself to Now? I invite you to check out the links in the description If you want to pick up the books we cover on the podcast. They'll be there. We're an Amazon partner, so we do earn from these purchases at no extra cost to you. So thanks so much for joining and, james, enjoy the chat man.

James:

Yeah, very, very insightful. Appreciate it. Thanks for our listeners. We look forward to seeing y'all next time.

Todd:

Have a great day, bye.

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Todd Carswell

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James Robinson

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