100'th EPISODE of Weekly Astro Vibes.

Thank you.

I love you.

My heart open, hand outstretched to yours. 

100 episodes later...how about 100 more? It's my Venus return time and I am locking in. Committed to the love inside of me to radiate its way to you and in that way neither you or I are ever alone. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, my name is Jasmine Lee, and I am not your mama's astrologer. Welcome to the week, you guys. This is a particularly special podcast episode for me because it is my 100th episode. I have done 100 of these bitches. Hell yeah. And I wanted to do a special podcast and make it something shiny that other people would see as shiny and sparkly. And then the week happened, and Mars and Uranus were conjunct, and a bitch got a little angry and anxious, and the week took me away. And I didn't. And I woke up this morning knowing I was going to be doing this podcast and thinking, oh, I didn't make it special. But then I thought, isn't just being here giving you this weekly forecast for a hundred episodes special enough? And yeah, it is. And I think that part of becoming an adult, the hardest part, especially for me, is learning that sometimes reality isn't always fairy books and it isn't always perfect, and it doesn't always come in these bows and wrappings and endings that we get taught are there because there are endings, but then there are what happens after the endings. And on some level, that is what this hundredth episode feels to me. It is also where we are liminally in astrology right now. A lot is happening, a lot is changing. And some of us, it's happening so fast, and we're tail spinning, and there's so much going on, and new roles we're getting into, and new ideas of what our id, our self, could, maybe, will be. And then for some of us, it's not moving at all. And the speed in which it's happening to everybody else, those people where it's not, feel left behind. And we are all trying to meet in this middle of growth, of moving the freaking dial. And some of us are frustrated, and some of us are overwhelmed, and some of us are stuck, and some of us aren't. And that is actually what a world of flow is. It's everything, everywhere, all at once. And it is how we all process it that creates a collective. And I'm feeling the collective energy as I am also feeling my own personal energy. This Mercury retrograde has been super profound because it's not just about, you know, we're stubbing our toe, things aren't working. Our freaking door handle broke. Of all the goddamn things, the door handle to the backyard broke. And what the hell? And what the hell? So, you know, Mercury retrograde still has its hijinks, but the deeper tonality of this Cancerian Mercury retrograde is so much deeper, so much more ancestral, so much more wound-related. Are your exes coming up? Are your past situationships coming up? Are you dreaming about things that happened to you in the past? Are family members coming into town? Are you dealing with things right now that feel layered under the skin of you that made you, that are now confronting you? That's kind of where we're at this week. We're building towards something and something that hasn't happened. There are these outer planets that have all changed signs, and it's crazy. It is crazy that they are all changing signs, and four of them are going to be at exactly four degrees at the same time. Not this week, but we're feeling that energy, and it is all in fire and air, it is all in doing, creation, communicating, changing how we're communicating, changing what we're communicating. And this week is an interesting backdrop to all of that because Venus is in the game. All right, we're getting over this Mars. We're not getting over it. Okay, you guys, it's all July. This feeling of the Mars Uranus conjunction, this feeling of intensity, this feeling of big change, and it's bringing up fear. It's bringing up fight or flight. It's bringing up our warriors, it's bringing up irritation, it's bringing up all of the ways in which we're just fucking sick of it. What are you sick of? That is your homework this week. What are you so sick of? What is the pattern you're so sick of? What is the person you're so sick of? What is the situation you're so sick of? My cat's fighting. I'm so sick of it. That's one thing. It's a very simple thing, but it it changes the whole dynamic of the house. And how do you work on this? How do you bring togetherness when there is dispersion, when there is so much energy for the taking? That is what this week is really speaking to. We woke up today and the sun is squaring Saturn. So boy, does that feel like the mundiest of Mondays of Monday I've ever heard. I mean, it's like we wake up after a holiday weekend. I wasn't super jazzed about our 250th American birthday. You know, it but there is family in town and kids and things to do. And so we alas did those things. And what it brought up for me ultimately is exhaustion, is feeling like I have been trying so hard. And sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm getting anywhere at all. Even on days like this, when I'm celebrating the hundredth episode for myself, which is a really big milestone. And there's all kinds of feelings attached to that. All kinds of feelings of I wish I was more successful at this point, feelings of I'm so proud of myself for still doing it, despite not being at the level of success that I'd like to be. And yet, this sun freaking squaring Saturn is making me feel like I didn't work hard enough. I didn't do enough. I'm not enough. I feel like I come up horribly short in a lot of places in my life right now. And that's summer. You know, summer for a teacher and for a mom and for a partner. It's like there's all these places in my life that feel unhinged right now. And when the door is off the hinges, it can't open or close, right? I can't let energy in and I can't get energy out with freaking broken door hinges and door handles while we're at it. So what do I do with this brokenness? And Sun Square Saturn isn't helping. How do you guys feel today? It's like a very worky work, work, work, work, work day. It's like a, okay, here are the things you gotta do, but you're also like kind of tired and you don't really want to. So it's one of those times where we can feel like we let ourselves down, where the work has piled up, or where intrinsically we just feel like dirtbags. I mean, that's where this lazy Libra gets is that ultimately I'm a dirtbag. And, you know, I don't want to put in the physicality that it takes all the time to be the best version of myself. Being in my chart, having so much air and fire, there are moments where I can't read the room, moments where I can't even read my own soul room, and I don't know what I need. And so I just start doing what I think everybody else needs. And then that, of course, is a losing game because then you can't win it because you're guessing at it and you're doing all these things for other people that don't even recognize that that is what you're doing, and it is so dysfunctional and codependent and weird. And then kablooey, Monday happens and sun is squaring Saturn, and you realize, God damn it, I can't move in this paradigm because I've put myself in a corner. And you know how I feel about baby being in a corner. We don't like it. We see how that goes. And I have this feeling inside that I was supposed to be moving, that I was supposed to be somewhere else, that I was supposed to have done something that I didn't do. And yet here I am. And even if I feel like I failed on some level, or even if I feel like I am not where I am supposed to be, on a higher purpose level, I am still here at my hundredth episode doing this, even when I feel like a failure. I'm still here for you, for me, for us, for the collective, because there has to be a greater purpose than just success to be doing these kinds of things. And I've never felt that more than I feel it on this Monday. Because there are weeks where I feel private, weeks where I don't feel forward-facing, and this is certainly one of them, and it is incredibly hard to come to the page, to come to the screen, to come to you. Because if you are new to listening to my podcast, I do not script anything. I look at the transits and I come and sit with you for this time. And whatever pours out of me is what pours out of me. And it takes vulnerability, it takes not knowing if I'm gonna sound awful, not knowing if it's gonna resonate, not knowing if it's not gonna resonate, and I just come here and I do it. And it erupts and elicits so much inside of me, both positive and negative, that a hundred episodes later, I am just here doing it, hoping that I can touch even one person this week that feels lost in the woods of this. Because boy, do I not want to do this. And it's the last thing I would have expected feeling coming to this episode. Because I've been building towards a hundred episodes. For a hundred episodes now. Have I said a hundred episodes enough? Here we go. Okay. So the sun squares Saturn. It's harder to have self-recognition, self-love, and self-validation when there is so much work still to do. And so we just have to do it one little thing at a time. That's Monday. You know, the sun is in cancer, which is permeable, which is powerful, which is maternal, which is nurturing. But squaring a Saturn in Aries, which is about self and body and fire and doing, it can almost feel like you're getting whiplash, trying to feel all these feelings while also feeling like you have to do all these doings. And getting caught in between your feelings and your doings can be a terrible place to be sometimes. So I just want to validate that you are not alone in feeling like there is so much to do, there's so little to do, there's so much work in your heart to do, but you don't know where to go with it. Saturn is making it super crunchy. And the answer always with a Saturn in Aries is you can't fix anyone or anything or any situation outside of your own self-situation. And so, what can you do today that helps the work of life move a little easier? It doesn't always have to be about high volume, it just has to be about the care and intention you put behind the work you are doing, both physically, spiritually, or otherwise. So put some work, put some backbone behind it. You feel stuck, you feel crappy, put some backbone behind it and try to sit up a little straighter and try to get through the day because if you get through this day, guess what? There gets to be another one, and then another one, and then another one. And if all you're doing is getting through the day to get through the day, you know, you're still growing, but at a snail's pace. And this energy in the sky right now does not want us to be slimy snails. They want us to be light of feather. And so how do we do that when we don't feel that? How do we get lighter when we feel heavier? And this Libra feels caught between being so heavy and a desire to be so light. Like a bird at the door, a bird at the door of its cage that doesn't know that it's open. That's what today feels like. The cage door is open, guys. It's open. We just ain't flying. And you gotta ask yourself why. Whew, that's Monday. These big outer planets that are all going to four degrees. If you have four degrees of anything in your chart, it's big news. Three or four. I'll give you a one degree orb, three, four, five. You're gonna be feeling that so much already, but then next week, and then it's gonna build and build and build. And I want you to trust that no matter how crappy it's all feeling right now, those feelings don't stay. Just like joy doesn't stay, don't we wish? Don't we wish it did? Don't we wish we could just have this one side of the pendulum that gives us our yeses, that gives us those green lights, that opens the window, that guides the bird out of the cage for us. Those are lovely moments, they are, but to me, they're culmination moments. The yes is the culmination of the other side of the pendulum work that we also have to do. The no, the what do I do now, the stuck, the breakup, the death, the parting of ways, the path diverging. There is a lot of those stuck at these parts of the pendulum because they're so hard. I mean, do you guys remember when Mario Brothers came out? How hard it was to beat Bowser? It was hard. And you had to play a bunch of times, and then you'd lose all your lives, and it didn't save, and so you had to go all the way to the beginning and do it again. And there were times where you're like, I just don't want to freaking play this game anymore. But the notion of the defeat of the bad spirit inside of us, the Bowser that is inside of us blowing fire and all of this chutzpah. The desire to slay that dragon is always inside of us. And so, god damn, we take a day break and we get right back at it. Getting those coins, getting those like flowers that let you shoot fire from your own mouth. This is a weird reference, but it's super real for me because I know that good stories don't come with easy tales, they come with dragons to slay. And alas, this is a time where so many of us are feeling the weight, a culmination, if you will, of what's been hard. And for some of us, we're at that release point. And good on you. Go, go, go, go forth. Be our compatriots in light, be our light workers. And to those of us that are so heavy and can't seem to get up, hold it. Just hold steady. It's conditioning. Let those thigh muscles do their work. I have thunder thighs, thank God, because a bitch has had some weight on them in my life. Thus is a Saturn and Scorpio life for me. Aha. Kind of like pirates, but like much harder. So that's Monday. Tuesday, Neptune goes retrograde. It's not the same as a Mercury retrograde. Mercury is very heavy-hitting. Mercury is pow pow pow pow. Whereas Neptune going retrograde happens for a long time. It's like half the year and half the year. So we've done all that we're going to do right now with our dreamy dreams, with our fantasies, and the veil of that starts to lift. And so we start to see the reality and/or the retrospection around why we have these dreams, how far they've come along, and what we want to do with them. Here I am, hundredth episode, Neptune retrograde, still not there. What can I do about it? We all have dreams, and a lot of them feel like they don't come true, but I do believe on other planes in other multidimensional universes that our dreams have already come true. And it is how we grasp on to that, how we keep our trust and we keep our faith in what it is we have stubbornly been creating. Here's your other homework. What have you been stubbornly creating? What haven't you given up on this year? What are you sticking to? It's like pasta. You know it's ready because you throw it against the wall, and if it sticks, it's time. Is that true? I've never done this before, right? If it sticks to the wall, it's done because it's all starchy and shit. What are you starchy about right now? What is thickened, gross, inside of you that is ready to get some goddamn marinara sauce, some mushies, some onions, some garlic. You gotta just start flavoring these damn noodles. I don't know the answer to that, you guys, because I don't know the answer to it myself. And sometimes I come to these podcasts so much wanting to be the light worker for you, but I am not this week. I am the heavier one. I am the one that feels really lost in the soup of what is my next bold move? And I don't know what it is. And I don't know what it is for you, but maybe you know. Or maybe if you're one of those light workers that has seen the progress, you can guide us there. Because we all are working in collective together. And if we can look to our light workers right now who are figuring it out, who did thread that needle, who freaking got the message, the memo from spirit and is killing it. If you're one of those people, guide us. Guide us, allow our spirits to get lighter. Because when Neptune goes retrograde, the dreamy dreams go away, and it's about the chutzpah. It's about becoming the Bowser you wish to be in life. That's what it is. That's it. What kind of character do you want to be? Not the evil one. And I don't even think Bowser's really that evil. I just think he's like sarcastic and, you know, like really likes Princess Peach. I don't know. I don't know, guys. Like, I don't think Bowser maybe necessarily is that bad, but we must defeat him in order to see that the dark is really the light. In order to see that the light is also the dark. To wrestle with these two concepts that are equidistant away from each other is so valuable in this life. Because victim state is the dangerous zone of this, of the dark, of not being able to see the light yet. And so we victimize ourselves. And I tell you one thing, I've lived in victim states here and there in my life, and they are my lowest lows. Because if you are a victim, you are not at all looking for a solution. If you have gotten in a fight with someone and you are not looking for where it went wrong in both scenarios, then you're gonna stay in that victim state. You're gonna stay right for the sake of being right. And that's not what we're looking for right now. Neptune going retrograde for the rest of this year. We'll meet back up with her in December when she goes direct again. Is time to be like, get real, dude. Get real. Like you can say all this shit. You can say what you want, but if you aren't putting the backing towards it, if you aren't actually working towards a solution, then you are just standing still. And maybe I am standing still right now. Maybe some of these harsh realities are sticking to my bones and making it hard to move. And that's okay. As long as I don't get into a place of saying, I'm the victim of this. Because really, you have to turn it on its head and say, I am the creator of this. This stuck, I created it because I want this cookie, astrological fame and fortune. That's the cookie I want. I'm all the way down here. A bitch feels stuck. Well, being a victim isn't gonna get me anywhere. I have to be accountable. I have to say, well, I do want something really kind of unfathomable, really kind of hard to get to. So of course I'm not there yet. Doesn't mean I stop climbing? Does it mean I stop podcasting? Does it mean I say it's been a hundred episodes? I didn't get where I wanted to, so I quit. Hail to the na na. We keep doing it. We keep coming on this podcast, especially when we don't want to. Especially when we don't have a bra on and we're tired and we're frustrated and we're angry and we don't feel like we can move anywhere in our life without feeling like we're hitting another brick wall, just like Ani DeFranco says. And I'm just sitting here being like, what's next? And it is frustrating. But the medicine to that is not to be a victim. No, no, no. It is to say the next step just isn't here yet, bitch. You can't step where there ain't anything to step into, or you can and see what that bold step into nothing leads to. Because steps don't just create themselves, all right? You gotta go get like rocks and you gotta like build the step. Isn't that like field of dreams? If you build it, they will come kind of shit. Like you gotta build the manifestation, even if it's not physically, it's spiritually. If you are stuck, goddamn, do some meditating. Do some visualization. Do anything but feel sorry for yourself. Do anything but dwell in there is no solution. I can say I'm stuck and frustrated, but I say that trusting that eventually I won't be stuck and frustrated anymore. Then Thursday, as if this isn't enough, Venus moves to science. She goes into Virgo. I'm a Venus Virgo. Having a Virgo Venus is very hard. First, because Venus is our love sector and Virgo's the virgin. So woohoo. But it is not necessarily prudie, okay? A girl likes a good time. But I only like a good time with someone who is like smart and clean and like showers first and like has good things to say and like knows how to say it well. This is Virgo Venus, okay? We want to love, but through exceptional behavior, through service, through relating, through our daily life and rituals, through touchstoning each other. Venus and Virgo, this is a different time than Venus and Leo, who was like, look at me, love me. And now Virgo, Venus is like, okay, what do I have to accomplish? And what does the connection in front of me need to accomplish in order to find the mind meld? Virgo always wants to be of service. Mother Teresa was a Virgo. I mean, it is very pious in certain ways in that it expects excellence. And so we need to love each other excellently. Now, what happens when we have the desire to love each other excellently with this Virgo Venus? Fighting. Discord. Because we're not excellent. We're dirtbags. I'm a dirtbag. Everybody's a dirtbag, all right? So if you are trying to just do your own dirt bag thing like you're used to doing, you got like real housewives on while the other person is bored. I mean, listen. Virgo Venus don't want a dirt bag in a relationship. So fighting. Because you start to recognize what needs cleaning. You start to recognize that you need to turn off the TV and go on some walks. You start to recognize that relationships are not self-watering mechanisms, that it takes service, that it takes humility, that it takes unselfish desire to help, to be, to co-create with others in order to reach such high standards of relationship. And that's what it is. A bitch just has a high standard. That's Virgo Venus. So have higher standards. And if that means you're having more fights, that means you're figuring out some stuff. That means you're moving the tectonic plates of how you are relating and loving in this world. And do it. Do it. Do it because Virgo Venus wants excellence. Virgo Venus wants co-creation. Virgo Venus wants a tidy, romantic room, you guys. We want candles. All right. We want clean sheets. We want music. We want to be able to fall into love clean. To fall into love safely. To fall into love to be of service to the other person. So that in turn they will be of service to you. It is reciprocity. It is energy. Venus is all about the co-creation of energy. It is why we love stories. It is why we love music and poetry and books and kissing and making out and having sex. It's why we love all of those things because it is all encompassing togetherness. But it doesn't work if the freaking door handle is broken and you can't open the damn door to the backyard, you guys. So fix those handles. Get tidy. Start understanding your role in the dysfunctional parts of how you're loving, in what you're expecting from love and why. Because some discord could come up because Virgo's like, mm-mm-mm. Not unless the socks are folded. Listen, the socks are never folded in this house. So there's got to be some other paradigm from which I'm living. But not unless it's tidy. Not unless we're coming together truly, cleanly, and for each other. That is Venus in Virgo. That's Thursday. And I mean, obviously, not just Thursday. Virgo's gonna be, or Venus is gonna be in Virgo for a while. So buckle up, buttercups, and start scrubbing those soul cloths. Start getting in that heart sector, start rubbing it clean, and start seeing how you can actively participate in a healthier, higher functioning relationship lifestyle. Friday. Then Venus comes up and butts against the South Node, which is what we need to release. What are the habits? What are the preconceived notions? What are the fights that you've been having that have to get let go of in order to find the solution? So when I said maybe there's gonna be some fighting, maybe there's gonna be some fighting, maybe there's gonna be some discord. Maybe you're not gonna feel super cozy within your relationships because you're needing to let go of something. You're needing to let go of your expectation around how it's always gone. Because relationship, not just romantic, all relationships, work relationships, kid relationships, parental relationships, they all only work if you are willing to release the paradigm you have others living under. Don't put them on a pedestal, don't knock them off a pedestal. Don't say this person always does this, don't say that person always does that. Allow, allow growth. Because absolute statements about each other limit the capacity to heal it. If you think your partner starts fights with you because they like it, I guarantee you most of the time they don't. And those that do just don't fucking be in relationships, ew. But most of us don't. Most of us want harmony. But the hardest part about relationships is that we have a lot to work out in ourselves. And do you think we do that tidy inside of ourselves? The hell we do. We do this in contrast. We seek out contrast so that we can mirror parts we don't like about ourselves, parts we do like about ourselves. It's all activated through the other. So are relationships supposed to be easy? No. But what if you started seeing everybody you are in a relationship with as you? As just another side of you. Have you ever looked at someone and like judged them really harshly? Well, that's probably a part of you that either you can't access or you don't like about yourself. Is there something you see in someone else, especially like celebrity syndrome, where you're like, I just wish I was that? Well, you just wish you were the topical versions of that, not the actual that. None of us should be wanting anybody else's life, because I can tell you from lived experience, the people that look like they have it the best are the people that have it the worst, and vice versa. Whatever you are seeking, you're gonna see in other, and it's gonna feel sometimes unreachable, and that is information. So stop just fighting to fight and start looking at it as an opportunity to grow. We cannot stay stuck. Venus in Virgo, right next to the South Note, says, You gotta let it go. You gotta be willing to accept what is in front of you to know what could be ahead of you. So that's Friday. And then Sunday, we get a little treat for all this hard work, for all this strife, for all this connectivity, for all of this service work, we get a Mercury Kazimi. It's the best moment of the Mercury retrograde. Mercury is gonna be right in the sun, and for a moment, clarity. It is coming, you guys. Those outer planets all being at four degrees in air and fire signs, there is clarity. There is. I promise, even if it doesn't feel like it, there is a plane waiting for you to get on. And it leads you somewhere, and I promise that it is doing that. You just have to hold the faith. And this Mercury Kazimi gives us a moment of clouds parting inside of ourselves, of the storm settling for a moment. And maybe it's just the eye of the storm. Maybe you're just smack dab in the middle of it, and more is to come, probably so. But we need those moments, those hot takes where we can look at the entirety of the mess we have created and say, This is my mess. This is my life. These are my relationships, this is my success point in my career. This is me. It's me. I'm the problem. It's me. I have to say that to myself all the time because nine times out of ten, anything hard that happens in my life is created by this bitch. I did it. I did it. Whoopsie daisies. My whole life, as like all these planets in Sag, is one big whoopsie daisies. But I like to think that for every whoopsie daisies comes an aha moment of I can shift this, I can move through this. Because if someone gives me a note, whether I like it or not, I am gonna work on it. Because I am committed to growing. Even if it's painful, even if I'm a dirt bag, even if I'll never be less than a dirt bag, I want to be both Mario and Bowser at the same time. Whew! That's this week, you guys. The card I pulled is serendipity. I love this. I love this because in serendipity is where we get those yes moments. When things are hard, look for what is conspiring in your favor. If you woke up and thought about something, go see how those thoughts manifest in the outside world. We are all manifesting our outside world. And what if that was true? What if you believed that? Then everything you see outside your front door, every broken doorknob is you. You are the broken doorknob, just like you are also the front door that does not have a broken doorknob. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do with this one wild ride, precious life? What are you gonna do? And even if it's hard, and today, you guys, today was hard. I have been on some kind of verge of tears for days and days because there is something really deep going on inside, and I don't have words for it, and I can't explain it, and there is chaos in my life right now. But there is also the very littlest inkling of you just did a hundred episodes. You did it. Is there some giant parade in my honor? No. Am I any more successful and fiscally reasonable than I was before? Not really. But I still did it. I still am here and I am still podcasting, even on a day where I really didn't want to. So, my love to you guys. May this week open some portals, may it fix your door handles, and may you become the bower that Bowser that you have always wanted to be. Or Mario, you get to choose. You know, whatever. Air and fire, they all work together. The elements are working together to help us. So I hope it helps you. Thank you so much for listening. Please do, do, do always call to action. Share this podcast. If it meant something to you, please, oh please, share it with someone nearest and dearest, or, you know, someone not nearest, just a stranger. Just like type in a phone number and send that bitch and see what happens because whatever we send out comes back to us in some way. And every kindness that you give someone else during this Venus in Virgo time will come back to you tenfold. Any kindness, any form of understanding you can conspire to have with others is going to give you that forgiveness you seek inside of yourself as well. So forgive each other, love each other, have a little compassion, and I will see you next week.