Meet Geena Hymer: From Hard Story to Hope Story

Geena Hymer is a woman who fought binge eating disorder stemming from childhood trauma, including her parents' divorce and sexual abuse. Food became her escape, especially after a sexual assault at 20. This led her to gain weight as a form of protection. Her struggles included self-harm and suicide attempts. After reaching 320 pounds, she decided on bariatric surgery, which helped her lose 150 pounds. Geena now leads a healthier life and is writing a memoir to inspire others. Her journey emphasizes that recovery is about personal growth and intention, highlighting resilience and hope through faith and therapy.

YOUTUBE link: https://youtu.be/_nzQWkKZs5I

Transcript

Childhood Trauma and Early Coping Mechanisms

Speaker 1 0:04

This meeting is being recorded . So this started between the ages of eight and nine I guess you could say both yeah . So , um , my parents , um , had , uh , went me a sense of calm in that situation when I wasn't really feeling like I could fully express how I was feeling about things , absolutely , absolutely yeah . So it started off very just . It just kind of snuck in there and then , at the age of nine , I had started going through sexual abuse . It was an acquaintance of the family , yeah , and so , and that just kind of amplified the situation .

Speaker 1 2:01

You know , at that young age , you that to have on hand when those feelings of overwhelm or emotions that I just could not fully express came up for me and there was a lot of shame , even back at that young age , about , you know , feeling like I needed to hide the food . You know , you know , feeling like I needed to hide the food . You know , yes , yeah , there were a lot of verbal threats made and so I stayed silent as a means to protect others as well as continue to protect myself . Yeah , the abuse for about two years , yeah , yeah , yeah , I , you know , I'm here , I am now going into that tween , pre-teenage stage of life , which is already awkward the , you know larger portions . Sometimes I would have the larger portions in front of people . Sometimes I wouldn't Again , not really wanting to have others see exactly what was going on . It kind of surprises me , even to this day , exactly how much shame is attached to eating at such a young age , when you kind of start that cycle of binge eating . You know , I had started gaining , like I would call that pre-teen weight that that girls do as they're starting to go through puberty , um and um . But it wasn't until I became an adult where my weight issues really got , I guess , out of control . Yeah , because I stayed pretty steady with my weight and body composition up through high school . I mean , I was always chunkier than some of the kids you know , and that came with some peer ridicule and stuff like that , which is , you know , kids are kids . Yeah , exactly so , you know , and that always kind of made me feel a little set apart and different from my peers and I had a very small circle of friends that I actually , you know , associated with day in and day out , that I felt like I could , that accepted me for who I was regardless . Yeah , yeah , yeah , and so I did . I did not . I actually started after I graduated high school . I went into health care . I've been doing that for well ever since , so for a very long time . I am an office manager currently , yeah , but I've kind of done an array of things Medical billing , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah I .

Speaker 1 6:44

I was 20 , maybe around 20 . The first time I actually shared about the abuse , um and um you know it wasn't the easiest conversation to be had Um . I told my mom , yeah , um , and you know I I still had just barely started going to um therapy to start working through the different things that had been um , problematic for me . Yeah , it's almost like I knew all those years growing up that I needed to sit down and talk through things with someone , and it's like as soon as I turned 18 , I was like , okay , I'm yeah , yeah , I , I am a strong proponent for therapy . Yeah , so I ? Um , I did not . I was , yeah , I .

Speaker 1 8:23

The eating pattern certainly got worse . About a week or so before my 21st birthday , I had um . I was living with roommates and we had a little house party and stuff like that . Um and I ended up being sexually assaulted by , um , an acquaintance there at the party that night by an acquaintance there at the party that night . Yeah Well , I like to believe that we go through our hard things for a purpose , for a better way of putting it . You know , my hard situations is for me to try to help others feel seen and heard . So it's made me a very

Sexual Assault and Worsening Mental Health

Speaker 1 9:10

strong individual .

Speaker 1 9:14

Yeah yeah , it was after the sexual abuse had started and my first attempt was at nine . It wasn't your standard , you know like you think of someone overdosing or other ways of taking their life . Mine was running out into a busy road , into traffic , trying to get hit by a car . Yeah , yeah , yeah , no , no , and thankfully I did not . I did try that on two separate instances . You know , back at the time my rational thought around that was you know , if that happened , then the abuse would end Trying to transition from one pain to another and I was , of course , at that point in my life very angry that people stopped because they , I guess you could say , foiled the plan I had . Right , I know , like I said , the rationale of a young mind who , you know . I just didn't have the coping skills necessary to navigate all those situations that were happening .

Speaker 1 11:39

I kept that secret for about a year . I kept that secret for about a year , yeah , and , and in large part to that , was the following morning , um , I had some of my female friends who , had you know , were at the party . They had came back to the house and had indicated that this individual , this acquaintance of ours , was out at the racetrack bragging to everybody about his conquest the night before . And my , my mind immediately reverted back to the previous trauma and immediately I was like , well , who's going ? Just tucked that away , like I did previously . Um , because that's what I knew to do .

Speaker 1 12:38

It was , yeah , the , the binge eating . Yeah , um , I kept it very close to my chest well into my thirties . But after that assault at 20 , I , that's when it really just spiraled , cause I was already dealing with all my growing up up to that point , severe depression and isolation thoughts or taking steps to do self-harm . Um , because my coping kind of evolved . It started with eating , um , and then it evolved into self-harm and suicidal tendencies and I just really , I attempted multiple times . Yeah , I had attempted , by means of overdose on a number of occasions . I had started cutting on myself as a way to release some of that pent up pain . Right , yeah , yeah , yeah , exactly , yeah , exactly , and , um , you know cause , in the moment , it seems to satisfy whatever it was that you're looking to , the end results you're looking for , and the pain , exactly so , um , yeah , and then I just started .

Speaker 1 15:01

My weight started going up quicker and quicker and quicker and I think , to the outsiders , they obviously knew something was going on . No one came right out and asked me . I know that in retrospect and having conversations with different , you know , family or friends , they certainly were concerned about my health . I'm just not certain that anybody really knew how to directly , you know , address the situation or you know , you know , and they themselves weren't necessarily equipped to do so , and at this point I'm an adult . So it's kind of like you know , yeah , yeah , you know she can make her own decisions , kind of thought process perhaps . So , yeah . So I ended up up going and gaining about 160 pounds from the point that I was yes , absolutely , yeah , yeah , absolutely . It just added fuel to the fire , thank you .

Speaker 1 16:56

So back , uh , in 2014 , 20 , no , 2015 , um , I unexpectedly had to fly somewhere , um , for my grandmother's funeral , and

The Body as Armor: Weight Gain

Speaker 1 17:15

I didn't want to go on a plane because I knew it was going to be uncomfortable because of my body composition and just other factors , and I had already started really digging into okay , how can I go about , you know , getting myself healthier ? Because that was my ultimate goal , because I was on medications that I didn't want to be on and I wanted to be off of those , and so , but on that flight both flights to my destination I ended up getting shamed by other passengers and I had never experienced that before not on an airplane and it just solidified a thought that I was already having I was considering doing bariatric surgery because I knew that , as part of my process to get healthier , I needed something that was going to restrict my ability to overeat , because I knew I had a problem with doing that . And so , with those experiences on the airplane that left me angry and mortified and feeling like the lowest of low , because someone didn't want to sit next to me , because I made their trip unpleasant , unpleasant . I came back from that trip going to my grandmother's funeral and I said , okay , I'm going to go see a bariatric surgeon , I'm going to see if I can get this done , and I ended up . I call it it was my birthday present because I had surgery two days after my birthday , so I had like this rebirth . I did , yeah , and you know they make sure that you're mentally prepared for all of that , because for me , my strong opinion of it is it is 90% mental . So there's a lot of work that goes into that .

Speaker 1 19:38

You have to change your eating habits and obviously your stomach is restricting you , um , but you really have to . Yeah , yeah , um , I was on like soft foods , um , and purees and things like that for a couple few weeks , so weeks , so yeah , and they my surgeon and not every surgeon's office is necessarily like this , but mine did require that I lose a certain amount up to the point of surgery to show that I was um like in the process , yeah , and , and I did exceed that amount that they had asked me Um , so they were very pleased with that , um , and I mean yeah , I mean I've done different fad diets and things like that over the course of life and um , I always like hit this wall at a certain stage because I would get fearful um me at after the traumas and things like that that had happened with the sexual assault and the abuse the eating ended up turning into creating like this body of armor . It was a way to protect myself . In my mind , um , and you know a lot of the rhetoric that society feeds to us as well . You know , if you look a certain way , you're considered less attractive Again . There's a lot of falsehood about that , you know . But you let it get into your , your brain , your brain , and so I thought , well , if I just keep on packing on the weight and keep on building this armor , then no one else will be tempted to harm me . And so that , once , once that thought process started , that's when the ball just went rolling . Yeah . So , um , I mean , I have zero regrets about the bariatric surgery . It really did help me a lot . It was in a very big way , yeah , cause , when all was said and done , um , cause , like I said , I , um , I stayed really steady with my weight all through high school and when all was said and done , I had went from 320 pounds three , 30 was my heaviest down to what I was in high school at one 70. , yeah , and that was in a year's time . So , yeah , I say a lot of ums , it's okay , absolutely yeah .

Speaker 1 23:14

And I remember feeling just the most on fire for life when I got to that point . I felt just healthy , mentally , physically , emotionally trauma , because you know there's still things that come up to this day . You know that kind of packed away , exactly , exactly , exactly . And you know , and even the binge eating disorder it is . It's a lifelong , daily , intentional act . You know so because you know you start overeating in all periods of emotion , whether it's anger , sadness , joy . You know , look at all the celebration that happens around food and you know there's a bunch of food at funerals . I mean every circumstance , plenty of that . Yeah Well , it's . You know it's like , say , a birthday party . You know everybody else is indulging on cake and ice cream . So I didn't feel like I was being looked at differently if I was .

Speaker 1 25:06

But you know there are plenty of times , unfortunately . You know where you go out to eat with friends or family or whatever the circumstance may be , and you get comments oh , are you going to eat all that ? Oh , are you going to box some of that up ? And to appease what they're saying , because I'm feeling judged in that moment , I do it and I box half of it up and I'll go home and I'll finish it and I might grab and order a medium or a large pizza and eat that in private as well . You know there was a lot of secretive eating behind closed doors , even more so as I became an adult and living on my own . Adult , and living on my own , yes , exactly , and I . That's why my weight amplified so quickly , you know , because I was able to go through the drive-through or whatever it was I wanted to do . I could buy , I could live on junk food if I wanted to . No one could tell me different

Bariatric Surgery and Transformation Journey

Speaker 1 26:19

.

Speaker 1 26:20

So , yeah , I , I had some horrible eating habits . I did , um , you know , yes , and even because this year I will be 10 years out from surgery and my surgery nurse even tells me I'm still heads and tails above most people that have had the surgery . I have had a weight gain of I fluctuate between 50 to 60 pounds within that 10 years . And and , like I said , it ties into this is a daily intentional reminder that you know you have to choose how you're going to cope in whatever the situation might be . Right , it is , and I did that for quite a few years actually , and and I did I kind of got a little burnt out on it because it is a lot of work , um , but there's some good reasonings behind it as well . It was honestly really digging my heels in to heal from the different traumas that helped aid with both the physical and the mental aspect of weight loss . Yeah , yeah , I am not .

Speaker 1 29:03

However , what I am doing . I am working on writing my first book . I'm working with a publishing company and I decided to make my first book a memoir about my binge eating disorder journey . Yes , yeah , yeah , because I want to be able to share you know where my story started , how it progressed , how it got better and how I continue to move forward to live a healthier life . Um , cause , I still have moments . You know , I may have a much smaller stomach pouch these days , but 10 years out , you can eat more than you could a year out , yeah , so I mean , I can still , um , I can't binge to the extent , of course , um , but I do still find myself periodically reaching for those slippery slope type foods , you know so , and then it's like , okay , wait a minute , think of where you , where you were where , how far you've come . Um , so , um , I want to be able to use my .

Speaker 1 30:29

The slogan of the publisher that I work for is may your hard story be someone else's hope story . May your hard story be someone else's hope story , and I take that very much to heart . I want to be able to fulfill what I believe is my purpose in helping others . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , I honestly would recommend and ask them if they have a safe person . Is there anybody in their life that they feel that they can go to judgment free ? Because that's , that's a , you know , a big part of it . Like I said , there's a lot of shame and you get a lot of judgment , whether people realize it's coming out of them in that moment , either in their body language or their eyes or their words . You know , that's , I think , what keeps so many people that battle , specifically with binge eating since I can't speak to the restrictive side from speaking up or , you know , leaning into another person to see how they might be able to get help to work through that . That , because you know .

Speaker 1 32:24

Again , going back to the society effect , you know there's so much . There is , yeah , exactly , and health comes at all phases and stages . You know , um , I may still be considered overweight . However , I'm healthier now than I've ever been . So , yes , yeah , yeah , yes , I'm glad I did . Yeah , yeah , society , um , and also those that you create for yourself , yeah , which are , you know , also fed by society .

Speaker 1 33:40

You know , an interesting bit of information that I forgot to mention that kind of shifted me from being at hyper-focused about my , you know , staying on task and on

Societal Judgment and Weight Fluctuations

Speaker 1 33:57

goal for when I got down to my lowest weight was , I remember I came back for a visit to see friends and family . And again , this is at the point in time where I was like , yes , I'm , you know I was , I'm a very humble person , but I was extremely high on pride and myself . You know , I was like I did this , you know , and I went to , yes , exactly , it was the first time in my life I felt proud of myself . So , and at this point I was 30 , 36 , 37 , somewhere in there , so , and I went and met up with , you know , different groups of friends and family during that visit and I had still upset with myself a little bit about this , but I let that narrative get into my head , even though it was two of 50 people that had given me commentary on how they , you know , felt about my progress or how I looked . I let those two comments derail and sidetrack where I was at that point . I gave it power , absolutely .

Speaker 1 35:43

And that , that , you know , I generally don't live with regrets , I tend to live with more lessons learned , but I would say that letting that happen is a bit of a regret for me . Yeah , I would say , you know , this is where I'm at right now . Is that point ? I just was like , really , I was taken aback by it because I was not expecting that , you know , and that was at 170 pounds on a five , five , five foot five inch frame , so a curvy frame at that . So , you know , that's just yeah . But to them , I think it was a stark contrast from where I was at three , 30 . So , and I also believe , because both of them have had their own weight struggles , I feel like it was also partially yeah , yeah , yeah , or that comment would come up .

Speaker 1 37:41

And then there was also a period where I my work was incredibly stressful and overwhelming . I was working 70 , 80 hour weeks and so , you know , I was leaning on the easy food fixes and things like that , on the easy food fixes and things like that . So , yeah , I remember the staff would order in food because you know , I'm like stuck in a conference room trying to comb through and different things that were going on in the office at that point . So , while they were well-meaning , yeah , yeah , yeah , you know , my parents were well-meaning in that I didn't wasn't witness to a lot of the arguing that led up to the divorce and so , yes , of flipped my life upside down . Eight , yeah , I do .

Speaker 1 39:31

I have an older brother , two younger sisters , and then I have an older stepsister , older stepbrother and a younger stepbrother . You know my older brother and I . We were , you know , dealing with our own , you know resolutions to the divorce and stuff like that . My younger sisters were both in car seats when that initially started , so they don't have a lot of memory of it . Um , if any . Um , and then my brother and um . I lived in separate houses off and on growing up as well , so as did my sisters and I . But um , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , so , um , there's two things that I like to start my day off with um , before anybody else in the house is awake . Um , which is usually a good hour , hour and a half . Um is um .

Speaker 1 41:18

I have shifted to really try to curate my social media , to feed me what it is like a healthy mindset , more positive content , because there's a lot of garbage out there and since you know , it's inevitable that at some point during the day I'm going to be mindlessly scrolling on one of my socials , whether it be for building my writing audience or whatever it might be , catching up with friends , yeah , yeah . So you know , I like to find positive news or positive quotes or things like that , so feeding my mind well . And I also like to spend time in scripture in the mornings and journal or just listen to music . So , yeah , I like to try to spend time over coffee . Just , my dog talks to me before coffee . He's a little terrier mix , yeah , little eight pounder . Absolutely , yeah , yeah ,

Faith, Healing, and Finding Purpose

Speaker 1 43:15

nope , absolutely . So , yeah , I've got big plans for myself .

Speaker 1 43:44

So , um , I definitely want to start my own podcast at some point , um , and continue to , you know , start getting my story out there by being on more uh , podcasts . Um , I also envision myself doing speaking engagements . Not sure exactly what that looks like , but I , like I said , I just am really being intentional that's actually my word of this year is intentional . So if I say it a lot , you know why . About getting my words out there , because I know for me , when I was going through the heightened part of the binge eating disorder , there really wasn't a lot of resources out there that I personally had found that I could relate to Not the clinical side of it , because there's lots of stuff on that end , but you know , I remember I heard a lot more about the restrictive side . So I feel like having more of this type of story out there . It would have been helpful for me back in the day . It would have been helpful for me back in the day . So , yeah , yeah , oh yeah .

Speaker 1 45:38

I , my heart's definitely on fire for Jesus . Yeah , yeah , so I , yeah , so I mean , I like to tell people my relationship with God has always been complicated . I spent a lot of years keeping him more arm's length because I felt like he may have failed me . You know , because when you're going through those hard times , it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel , and so , um , you know , I am very thankful that I have such a strong relationship with my faith at this stage . It's what gets me through any hard moments . So , mm-hmm , yeah , mm-hmm , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . Well , first I have been where you are , you know , um , where I felt like I was abandoned , um , during some very hard times , um , and now I have a much greater understanding that I don't . I don't , not one that believes that . You know , god necessarily wants us to go through certain types of traumas like that , but he will use our story for a greater purpose . Yeah , and you know where I did have a turn , and there were certainly bumps along the way , even since , um , up until about a few years ago , when I really just you know , became more dedicated and engrossed in my faith .

Speaker 1 49:21

Um , I , it was the day of my last suicide attempt , when I was 28 . Um , I was , you know , I was sitting in the middle of my living room , um , with a plan in place to take my life , and I made a deal , if you will , with God in that moment , that I was going to reach out to a friend of mine and that if she answered the phone I wouldn't go through with it . But if she didn't answer the phone I would . And she answered the phone and to me that was divine intervention . And to me that was divine intervention . That was him saying , yeah , no , now is not your time . So , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , I've I .

Speaker 1 50:59

I still bout with some depression , not near to the extent that I did growing up , and I've had no inkling of wanting to harm myself . It's been 18 years . I think it's a combination of both . I think he has lifted me up to really show me how much strength I really have within me . You know , you know , because in those moments you don't see that about yourself . All you see is that you're being beat down and beat down and it's like how much more can I take ? Right ? But I know I am stronger than strong and there's nothing that I can't make it on the other side of yeah , no , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah .

Speaker 1 52:34

You know , just don't give up on yourself , regardless of what the circumstances are . You know there's resources out there for when someone is ready to take that next step . Um , and the next right step is going to be defined by each person , um , but yeah , we , we really don't have to suffer in silence in whatever we're going through . So , whatever we're going through , so , exactly , exactly . And you know , um , yeah , I just , I really hope I actually said a prayer before we , we started this that my hope is that this finds the ears that it needs so that they can hear it . Yeah , well , I appreciate that , thank you . I'm in more of the early stages , so it will definitely be out this year exactly . I would love that . Thank you , michelle . I feel the same way about you , you too . Bye-bye .