Tales From An Airport Bar
Tales From An Airport Bar
Ep 13: Take Off Your Pants And Jacket Featuring Lindsey
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Hey guys, below are the links to the podcast that we did a crossover episode with. It's called the Otter House Podcast. Feel free to give them a listen and go support those guys!
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Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gHKuB3w5M3Go62GAF6cRe
Welcome to an unforgettable journey into the world of airport bartending! Join us as we chat with Lindsey, a seasoned bartender who has transformed the chaos of serving travelers into a treasure trove of entertaining stories. Picture yourself waiting for a flight, imagination swirling with possibilities. Now imagine the bartender behind the bar, listening to unique tales from patrons who come from all corners of the globe. This episode dives deep into those hilarious anecdotes that Lindsey has gathered throughout her time in the airport scene, including her experiences with celebrities, rowdy travelers, and the unexpected situations that unfold when people are separated from their usual comforts.
The conversation not only captures the energy and drama of airport life but also highlights the essential role bartenders play in enhancing customer experiences amidst travel stresses. As Lindsey unfolds her journey from a regular bar to an airport setting, listeners get a taste of what it truly means to serve the public during high-stake moments. We laugh with her at the absurdity of some encounters and nod in agreement at the universal truths of hospitality. If you've ever navigated an endless terminal or shared a drink with a stranger, you won't want to miss this rollercoaster discussion! Ready for an adventure filled with humor and insight? Tune in, and don't forget to connect with us—share your thoughts, stories, and questions!
Welcome to Episode 13
Speaker 1Hey guys, welcome back Episode 13 of TFAB, Tales from an Airport Bar. We have a really special guest for you this week, but first I want to introduce my co-host.
Speaker 2What's up? Everybody Balaké.
Speaker 1Welcome back everybody. This week we've got Miss Lindsey who worked parallel to us years ago in a little satellite bar. Lindsay, welcome to the show. Thanks for coming on today.
Speaker 3Hey guys, it's super nice to be here. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1Yeah, so for starters, tell us how long did you work at the airport?
Speaker 3I started at the airports. After the COVID happened, my restaurant shut down that I'd been at for five, six years. I had a friend, malcolm, that kept pushing me to go into airports, kept pushing me to go into airports, so he slid me in there in the back door. The rest was history.
Speaker 1Shout out to Malcolm, episode four. The rest was history.
Speaker 3Shout out to Malcolm, episode four. Since then I've loved being in the airports and I never want to leave. It's one of those things that once you're in, you're never leaving. You don't go anywhere. You're not going to go anywhere else, You're just going to make friends and hop around.
Speaker 1You worked at this little satellite bar. Can you give us a little bit about how, maybe, it was set up? How many? What was the capacity of the restaurant?
Speaker 3So it was just down a little hallway. The only thing next to it was a bathroom and a little Hudson stand, and there were a little convenience store. Yeah, a little newspaper convenience store. We had no kitchen, we had nothing to the sort of food except for a little like pre-wrapped sandwiches.
Speaker 1It sounds like the little satellite bar I started at years ago.
Speaker 3That's very common, for you know it was super fun during COVID too, cause you had to serve food with your alcohol and we were always out of food.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3Like okay, so why are you here? I don't.
Speaker 1So we had Carrie on the last show. I don't know if you ever worked with. He worked with Carrie. Yeah, we had her on the last show talking about she's now working that bar. Yeah, no, yeah, and she was talking about all the shenanigans she's been through. Great, that was a great episode.
Speaker 3It's been. It was a wild ride down there. The cops definitely had their eyes on us most of the time because it was just one large party. Yeah no, I used to bartend down there myself.
Speaker 1I can't bartend down there anymore. You're not allowed. I like to make things rowdy and I can't do that, so that is not an inviting environment for me.
Speaker 3I tell people all the time it's not Cabo. You can't do that here.
Speaker 1Yes, Not an all-inclusive resort. We're on federal property, guys.
Speaker 3Yeah, we're on federal property. Guys, it's not an all-inclusive resort.
Speaker 1I don't care that there's an eight hour delay. Like I always say, all your misdemeanors turn into felonies.
Speaker 3Here it's for the psa um. So so you worked there for how many years there? Okay, 2022, probably two, two and a half years.
Speaker 2Okay, I was there enough to see some things More so than.
Speaker 3I thought I would Exactly In an airport it doesn't take so long I'm being honest, you could work there a week and see some things.
Speaker 1So you still now you don't work at that bar, but you do still work at a bar.
Speaker 3In two different airports actually.
Speaker 1Okay, good times, it's a little bit.
Speaker 3I say a little bit. It's a lot more low-key, more like a wine bar setting and people are sipping their wines. They're not pounding shots of tequila and we have a kitchen where we can feed them.
Speaker 1Yeah, Good times.
Speaker 3It's very rare that I have to cut somebody off anymore now. Back then it was a daily occurrence. Like no, no, Drink some water on me, Just bottle of water on me and go sit down at your gate and put your mask on. That's your best friend right now, during COVID. No one can smell you. Just shut up, put your mask on, so I know you've seen.
Speaker 1Talk to me, talk to me. What shenanigans have you seen? I know the cops have been down there a few times.
Speaker 3I mean, I was warned of other bartenders not being able to work down there, not pointing any fingers.
Speaker 1No Drop. You can name drop, it's cool, just not last name.
Speaker 3Chris and Spencer are no longer allowed to work down here. Don't be like Chris and Spencer, no not Chris.
Speaker 1No, Chris was still not different Chris totally different oh yeah, he.
Speaker 3He was not allowed to work in the night shifts because it would just get too rowdy and crazy with him. He, he would try to keep it up until 1 am, and I'm like there are no flights going on at this point. What are you doing? They're laid over for the night.
Speaker 2They've got to have a place to stay. They've got to have a place to stay. They need to go to their hotel.
Speaker 3This is ridiculous. So you know, the cops liked me for the longest time just because I did kind of run with an iron fist. I was willing to cut people off, give them their water, send them on their way. Very nice about it, in a nonchalant way Like hey, shut up, You're in a federal building and depending on where you're going to get arrested in this building depends on where you go to jail. So figure it out, Go sit down.
Speaker 3Shut up and have a drink, but then again, I was the one flying with the drinks the entire time. It's like is there another round of shots coming from Mark, cause this guy's buying. There's only, you know, 13 seats around the bar a couple of two jobs.
Speaker 1to clarify, you're not the little Filipino lady that um Carrie was describing.
Speaker 3I am no, I am not I she is actually Never mind Long story. She sells lots of great bags and stuff.
Speaker 1In a way, in a roundabout way, she's related to my youngest son. Long story.
Speaker 3I don't know what to do with that.
Introducing Special Guest Lindsey
Speaker 1Yeah. She cooks amazing though anytime I'd come. Yeah, you know, there was no kitchen. The kitchen was her.
Speaker 2she was the one giving me all the food the filipino noodles do you want some you know, and she always goes hey, baby, but that woman I mean, you know, she has the voice.
Speaker 3uh, I don't know if you've ever seen the Emperor's New Groove, but do you remember Yzma?
Speaker 1That is her voice.
Speaker 3Great impersonation, by the way, but any time that people she's very loud, she's very out there, she's very abrasive.
Speaker 1She's a cartoon character, she's a walking cartoon character.
Speaker 3Sit down, have a drink and she just tells you what to do you, just do it. Sit down, have a drink, and she just tells you what to do.
Speaker 1You just do it.
Speaker 2You just do it.
Speaker 3You want double. It's like being in a nail salon but not being in a nail salon.
Speaker 2You don't even mean to do what you're doing.
Speaker 3You don't have control of your body.
Speaker 2When I first met her, I was working at Rodeo and she was just the grab and go. She wasn't even bartending. But yeah, the first shift I worked with her, I was down there, I opened and within three minutes I had 15 people drinking Bloody Mary. She's like you, you need a Bloody Mary, get in here.
Speaker 3And I had a full bar and I was like okay, thanks, she's like the, without the cardboard sign and the bell.
Speaker 2she's bringing people in whether they know they want to be there or not, and she's a force to be reckoned with she's amazing she's got mind control over D-Day. I don't want to get too sidetracked here.
Speaker 1So no, back to what I said earlier. I know the cops have been down there Talk.
Speaker 3Oh God, okay, Spill the beans. Most of the time it was people that you know it's an airport. You don't know where they just came from.
Speaker 2You don't know how many drinks they've had. If it's midday, they could have been traveling all day. We also don't know what kind of Xanax.
Speaker 3they've been popping If they were delayed. They get anxious when they fly They'll sit down.
Speaker 1Whatever you're into, we don't judge.
Speaker 3Halfway through. They can't stand. I'm like, oh fuck, you're not okay. We need to get this guy out of here before the cops get down here. Let's be proactive. We need to get this guy out of here before the cops get down here. Let's be proactive, not reactive.
Speaker 2And we need to get this receipt.
Speaker 3Bury it, put it on someone else's tab. No, that never happens.
Speaker 2Definitely never does.
Speaker 3Let's close you out, buddy. Let's get you a water. Let's get you to the seat that's six feet away from me and not the bar area, Because technically you're not my problem anymore. Past this little roped gate you go over here. Here's some Advil from the store. That'll be $12.
Speaker 1Put it on my tab.
Speaker 3They treated it like it was that little island pool bar you're swimming up to at an inclusive resort and there are no rules.
Speaker 2There are no rules here.
Speaker 3I'm like no, there are definitely rules here. We're in a federal building, cool, there are no rules. Shots on it, yes, party, party, party, pump, pump, pump, pump the music. You know you could do whatever you wanted there.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3Every now and then you'd see management walking down the hallway. Everybody shh.
Speaker 1Sounds like a rodeo. People are coming.
Speaker 2That's assuming they would even notice that.
Speaker 3That's your job, though, as the bartender. No, I mean that they would To notice that someone's coming down the hallway.
Speaker 2I mean that the management would even have the awareness to notice what's going on there?
Speaker 3You never had not going to name drop, but the tall, skinny one just would creep around the corner and I'm like, I know you're 30 feet away, but I can see your butt ass. You're not being sly, dude, what Also? What do you want? Bring me more sandwiches, bro.
Speaker 2At least do something positive.
Speaker 3But celebrities, athletes, all kinds of writers, well-known people. Once they start telling their story, you get a few drinks and then you know, just you know. One time I met somebody that was at the Oscars and she had been nominated for an Oscar for a short film called my year of dicks. Oh, oh, I have to go watch it now. It's already saved on my phone. I was like you were literally. Watch it now. It's already saved on my phone. I was like you were literally. She showed me pictures of her with lady gaga channing katum. She was nominated for an oscar. She lost. She was like I lost.
Speaker 3I was at the losers table, the losers party, with everybody else, like a lot of people lose at the oscars. But yeah, she lived in texas and it was about her losing her virginity while she was in texas. Called my year of dicks, okay, and it's an animated short film like 25 minutes. I can't wait to watch it. She worked on Milana, she worked on all kinds of. I was like you're legit. Who, what, how have I never heard of you? And then Billy Gibbons sat down at my bar once that I almost peed my pants. I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 2I have no clue. Who's that? Oh yeah, he's been at our bar many times.
Speaker 3Yes, yes, yes, yes, that big beard, you can't miss the hat that he wears and like he had normal glasses on in order to Bloody Mary with a splash of orange juice.
Speaker 2He always got double kettle one Bloody Marys with me.
Speaker 3Yeah, it was the Bloody Mary splash at OJ. That kind of threw me, but I'm like, whatever you want. Everyone at the bar is kind of like do I know him? I'm like, no, shh, you don't. This is my moment. You're not going to ruin this for me. Trying to play it cool, not trying to be that asshole, and as soon as I hand him his check, I'm like I'm a huge fan, really. Thank you so much. What's your name?
Speaker 2Just he put the sunglasses on the whole facade. I died that day. I was in heaven. Every time he was at our bar, people would freak out and there'd be people in the bar.
Speaker 3You'd hear hey, is that the ZZ Talk?
Speaker 2Hey, let me Google a photo real quick. I think that's him. Hey, let's go ask him. Let's go see if his name's Billy.
Speaker 3Okay.
Speaker 2I shut that whispering down real quick. And then you know, our audience at our bars typically would be a little bit older, so they all know him. They're all going over there and he's so nice, he was so nice Everyone took photos with him.
Speaker 3You're older, Chris. How do you not know this guy?
Speaker 2Well, I wouldn't know the name off the top.
Speaker 1I would if I saw his face.
Speaker 3I've never waited on him, and this was like the week before Dusty passed away, so he was going to a show in South Dakota.
Speaker 2Because you know, down that hallway I get those weird small town slides. That's about the only place you're going in our tournament Going down that side of the tournament.
Speaker 3You're getting South Dakota. You're getting some hotel in Tennessee I've never heard of. I had to put the South.
Speaker 2Dakota State women's basketball game on Saturday. For some people at the bar Aren't you lucky. That's how slow it was Wilmington, north Carolina, that I'm putting on the South Dakota State women's basketball game on in the middle of the day, that's something I get butts in seats. Alright, south Dakota flight, let's go as long as it works.
Speaker 1We're going to Peoria Illinois.
Speaker 3Amy Adams came in one time. That was still when everyone was masked up.
Speaker 1Okay, I recognize her immediately.
Speaker 2Yeah, Lois Lane yeah.
Speaker 3And you know, at the point you're supposed to ID every single person that comes in the airport, whether they're 17 or 70. So I don't care if you're 70. You're showing me your ID. You had to have it to get in here. Flash it at me Doesn't matter. So she shows me her ID. I was like I figured it was you, I'm such a huge fan. She said thank you so much, Asked me what she should order at the Shiner, since she was in Texas, or a gin and tonic. And I was like, well, Shiner, duh, you're here in Texas.
Speaker 2Yeah, gin and tonic.
Speaker 3Right, you can get that afterwards. She was with her daughter though, so didn't want to make a scene or a fuss, but she, she put her hands in mine and was like what's your name, lindsay? Lindsay, I'm Amy, it's so nice to meet you, and she was just so genuine about it. I'm like thank you, lois Lane. I feel so safe now, and I texted, of course, my family as soon as I did with the Billy Gibbons thing, and my brother goes Lindsay, don't you dare embarrass us in front of Lois Lane, I'm going to need you to shut it.
Speaker 1You're not here, anybody else cool.
Speaker 3I know that I've run into a lot of athletes. I don't know who they are because I don't fall sports, but I can tell that they're massive rings, that they've won championships Every now and then. I'll try to Google them from their cards. Usually, for the most part, they're not nice. They don't want the attention.
Speaker 1Yeah, no doubt.
Speaker 3They got that big ring on their finger. But the minute that you say I see that you played such and such and they're like, yeah, cool, so you're not going to take your sunglasses off or talk to me. What can I get for you? Oh, hard pass. But yeah, most of the time everyone's super nice, super chill. Danny Trejo, that was another one. Spencer was working one of my shifts.
Speaker 1He had covered. What's that Spencer was covering for me?
Speaker 3Yeah, I remember Spencer mentioning he met him and he sent me pictures and I'm like damn it, damn it, one time I need a shift covered. And apparently he was super nice. He just had a coat. He's a really nice guy. Everyone recognized him. You can't not recognize Danny.
Speaker 2He just gave everyone autographs and pictures.
Speaker 3I mean for the most part. Everyone is always surprised when I tell them about my celebrity stories because they're like wouldn't they fly private? I'm like no man, they're just like us.
Speaker 2Not everybody has a private jet In these places. There's one way to get to them.
Speaker 3Even if you have a puddle jumper. That's not making it for no, they fly commercial just like us.
Speaker 1It's not like Harrison Ford or John Travolta and has their own airplanes and shit.
Speaker 3Plus that's expensive. We're not all Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. We can't.
Speaker 2Well, even a lot of people that do it run themselves a bankrupt. They can't afford to do it.
Speaker 3So what's the point at that point? Just fly commercial and deal with your airport bartenders.
Speaker 2That's it, just get in first class.
Speaker 1Whatever, no problem. Your airport bartenders and that's it. Just get in first class, whatever, no problem. Go to the lounge if you don't want to be around people, um, so talk to us now about the wine bar, you're in now.
Speaker 3How's that going? I love it there, love the fact that it's mostly business travelers, so you know you don't get the rowdy group.
Speaker 2A lot of suits that come into that.
Speaker 1Blake, I know you've also worked in the wine bar. People never get a little sloshed. It doesn't take a whole lot of wine for some folks.
Speaker 3I've had my fair share of. I'm going to take this bottle from you. You're going to be lucky. I don't smash it over your head because we're in a federal building and I don't want to get arrested and I would like to get you safely to your gates. Yeah, there was one time I ordered a $360 bottle of wine.
Speaker 1One of the only ones that we had.
Speaker 3It was on the shelf for a while Letting other people try it. He literally had one glass out of this and just turned into this giant able where I couldn't get him to sign his check. His card got declined. He tried another one. He wanted to play that game with me where I don't want to hand you the card. Very sexual, harassing, very just cringy.
Speaker 3Maybe you can come by my yacht club and shine my yacht for me okay, if you can't pay this check, you're not going to be able to afford me so are you going to give me a plane ticket? Let's get past this let's speed things along here it got to the point where you know where I'm working. Now you have to. I can't be as crass as I was at this little satellite bar. I can't drop the F-bomb as much. I can't get my point across by cussing.
Speaker 2I have to keep my composure. It's much quieter in that bar than other places. That will be her.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's a different world for me, because normally I like to speak my mind, I like to be a little rowdy and loud, and I can't do that there.
Speaker 2I like to be a little rowdy and loud and I can't do that there, and also everyone there's tab is at least $200. Yeah, Even if they're there for 30 minutes.
Speaker 3They come in for a soup and a glass of wine, that's a $55 check.
Speaker 2They are paying, yeah, so you've got to be you know Whether they want to or not. Fine dining in that airport, which is hard to do. I didn't realize this Cabernet was $28. Well, did you look at the menu?
Speaker 3No, I just said, I wanted this good one. Can you read?
Speaker 2Well, you asked for it by name.
Speaker 3I think I asked that at least once.
Speaker 1No, I think maybe you should read it to me 100%. Yeah, just the other day.
Speaker 3What is this seared salmon salad? What's a seared salmon salad? I couldn't hide my noise. I was like what do you mean If you?
Speaker 1don't know what it is. It's like they come into our restaurant. You can't afford it. We've got 10 margaritas on there. We've got like 11 different flavors what's in this margarita? And 47 different tequilas we can make those with, and they're like can I get a margarita? I'm like I'll give you the best damn margarita.
Speaker 3No, no, my favorite thing about the wine bar is as soon as they walk in, because we're that first thing they see when they walk in through security Can.
Speaker 2I get a margarita.
Speaker 3No keep walking. We don't serve that here. Go to Kiske get a Laredo.
Speaker 2I'll just get a beer then. That was my least favorite thing at the wine bar.
Speaker 3I'll just get a beer.
Speaker 2Just go down there and get a beer. You're not going to be happy here. The beer's going to cost more. We only have three beers.
Speaker 3We do have liquors now, but they're $75 for a nice shot of scotch. It's a good scotch.
Speaker 2If you're going to do it, then just go all in and turn it into a full bar. Don't do that. I'll just take a scotch or tequila on the rocks. Okay, that'll be $150. What you guys don't have, a queer boat. No. Nobody wants that here, nobody wants that anywhere.
Speaker 1Garbage person.
Speaker 2Just go all in. I would always be like, hey, you're not going to hurt my feelings, just keep going, just keep going, just keep walking that way.
Speaker 3Do you want a full bar? But I saw you. There's one right past the bookstore right past the bathroom.
Speaker 2I would always go. Any other bar here has that they go. What? Yes, any bar but this one. But this one, what I'll?
Speaker 3just have a Miller Lite. I did have a gentleman the other day yell at me about soups. All we had was tomato basil and he was not happy with that. I want something else. Okay, I'm so sorry, like we don't offer any other. Well, what soups do you have? And I'm like in the airport yeah, what soups do the airport have? He was so mad at me that I could not tell him.
Speaker 2I'm like.
Speaker 3I don't know sir I don't work at those other places. And finally, after about five minutes of us going back and forth, I told him he could get an information, kiox. I just looked at him and said no soup for you and I just went about my business. He probably didn't even get it.
Speaker 2No, I don't care, though it was a victory for me that was for me, that was not for him um my other. My other favorite thing there was, yeah, any anywhere where you sell salmon and then people always come and go.
Speaker 3I want that salmon.
Speaker 2Well done. Where are you getting salmon? What are you doing?
Speaker 3How long do you have before your flight? 15 minutes Not going to happen.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'd like a well-done salmon. I've got seven and a half minutes before I board to Albuquerque. Do you know what well-done means?
Speaker 1No, I thought you had the mixed salmon on the menu.
Speaker 2Do you have a microwave?
Speaker 3here, don't tempt me. I will do that one day.
Speaker 1You can't put that on the George Foreman grill.
Speaker 2I've got a Foreman in my bag, just hand it to me, it's fine.
Speaker 3I got it through security. Don't ask questions.
Speaker 1It's just a small electronic.
Speaker 3With iron plates.
Speaker 1Yeah, whatever what?
Speaker 3are you?
Speaker 1going to do Smash somebody's hand in there.
Speaker 2Well, it's very heavy. There it is. It's very heavy, no, michael Scott.
Speaker 3You can't take your wine keys into the water.
Speaker 2I just like to have bacon ready and fresh in the water. Michael, how did you smash your foot? How did you grill your foot in a George Foreman?
Speaker 3grill. Seriously, that sounds like something you would do.
Speaker 2Me.
Speaker 1Yes, I just like to have fresh bacon in the water.
Speaker 3You're vegan, but you don't eat bacon.
Speaker 1No, I love bacon. Who doesn't love bacon?
Speaker 2now say it like you mean it I love bacon.
Speaker 1I love bacon, there we go, there we go and you know I think bacon and I have a love, love relationship.
Speaker 2Okay, seems a little forced.
Speaker 1I love to eat bacon.
Speaker 3Bacon loves to have me eat it. I thought you were going somewhere else with that. No, I wasn't. But I will say, I've seen two people naked Not fully naked.
Speaker 1Back up.
Speaker 3Not in my life. At the airport and not at the same time.
Speaker 1Thanks for the clarification.
Speaker 3There was one woman that came out of the bathroom At the airport. Oh, and not at the same time. Thanks for the clarification. Yeah, that's a good question. There was one woman that came out of the bathroom without her pants on or underwear. Her shoes were still on, so the process that this took. Oh, she was shit hammered, had to take off her shoes, to take off her pants and underwear, then put her shoes back on. That's where the logic was. I need my shoes to get out of this bathroom.
Speaker 2I don't need my pants or maybe she was wearing a skirt and she went to the bathroom and then just stood up out of it. It was pants and just forgot to pull it up. Who does that?
Speaker 3I don't know. I was like that sounds easier than the other one.
Speaker 2Maybe she didn't want to get her feet on the dirty airport bathroom floor.
Speaker 3Explain to me why there are still no pants though, pants though. Did you shit your pants? Yeah sure.
Speaker 2I would rather go pantsless than shit. Maybe go buy a hoodie.
Speaker 3Ripe somebody to buy a hoodie, wrap it around you. I don't know.
Speaker 1Go shit pants first across the hall, find something.
Speaker 2I'm going pantsless. That's less embarrassing than shit pants to me.
Speaker 1What are you doing? Shitting your pants? In the first place, there's a pants bandit in the bathroom.
Speaker 2My pants are gone in the bathroom. My pants are gone. I was changing clothes. The pants bandit took them.
Speaker 1Is that what we're?
Speaker 3going with. He's the pants bandit.
Speaker 1I'm not at liberty to comment on that.
Speaker 3There are worse things you can be. We can never deny so.
Speaker 2This episode's off the rails on.
Speaker 1It's about you do. Can you give more detail? So the what we're going with is she shit her pants. That's why she came out with the shoes on.
Speaker 3So the the bar was right across from the bathroom, so you know, half the time I'm getting yelled at where's the bathroom and I'm like right, so right there behind me, wait, so explain.
Speaker 1So there's a men's and a women's public bathroom, and then there is a….
Speaker 3Like a family bathroom yeah, handicapped family bathroom that you can go in, where you can go in there and change the baby, but they're all right there. You walk five feet and you're there. You're in the bathroom. You can hit it with your sandwich that you bought Right. I can throw the change. Don't call my $14 sale Turn on my receipt and hit the bathroom door.
Speaker 3Where is it? You know, people are mad. They can't find the bathroom. Once they do find it, then they come out pantsless. I'm like I didn't even say. Cops come down.
Speaker 1Of course this is one of the cops. I'm like I didn't even Cops come down, but obviously multiple times, because we're getting to the next story momentarily.
Speaker 3What happened? I'm like I don't know. I didn't serve this woman.
Speaker 2She didn't come from my bar.
Speaker 3I don't know where she came from, crazy town, I don't know. Send her back.
Speaker 2You'll have to review the film. I don't know.
Speaker 3She's got no socks on either. This is very concerning. Like you have shoes on, you have pants on. So not sandals, but shoes no, pants no socks, just shoes.
Speaker 1And what age was this? Young lady, older lady Probably 40s, 50s, oh well maybe her medication kicked in.
Speaker 3She wasn't 20.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3So there's no.
Speaker 1She wasn't hammered from someone's bar in the airport.
Speaker 3There's no telling she could have been. She could have wandered down like a homeless person looking for a sandwich that we did not have, and went to the bathroom instead.
Speaker 2Okay, it could have been the bar of pill jar, oh top cocktail Uh pill jar.
Speaker 1Uh, needless to say, she was taken away.
Speaker 2Uh, needless to say, she was taken away.
Speaker 3Yes, they're like nah, she's fine People wanted to know if she'd been there.
Speaker 1Put your pants on and get on your flight, lady.
Speaker 2They're like there's no way she wasn't in here. I don't know what to tell you?
Speaker 3Do? You know how many bars there are in this place? This is a big airport Can't keep up with everything Does she have pills in her bag?
Speaker 1check that first last time was.
Speaker 3This guy fell out of his chair. I'm giving him one drink.
Speaker 2I'm drinking that the worst and he fell
Speaker 3out of his chair and like, oh crap, he was huge too, so like I had to get two other grown men to help me to a chair, give him a bottle of water, and that's when I noticed the giant knee brace. I'm like, perfect, perfect, you're on pain pills. You said okay, good, that's not this isn't going to make me look bad. Cops come down. What happened? I'm like. Obviously he's on pain pills, why'd you serve him? I cause I don't look at everyone's knees, nor can I see them under the bar.
Speaker 2And our job is to have a 30-second interaction and make that judgment.
Speaker 3Yeah, what do you want me to do? I gave him the water, I gave him one shot of whiskey and then all of a sudden he can't stand up. He's 300 pounds. I can handle more whiskey than him there you go. They weren't happy. They weren't happy about my attitude at that point. Well, stop bugging me, Dan.
Speaker 1It's spicy, so naked person number two.
Speaker 3Oh, there were two different instances where one woman thought that well, and she wasn't wrong, if I flash this guy across the bar he will buy me shots. She wasn't wrong, it happened. This also isn't Bourbon Street. I didn't know what to do. I'm like, oh, I don't know whether to film it or to call security at this point. You can't do that in an airport. And then another woman, I think she was just older, she didn't know airport. And then another woman, I think she was just older, she didn't know she would have been crocheting with beef jerky sticks. She was just her meds were off the charts she didn't know.
Speaker 2She was at the yeah, she didn't know.
Speaker 3She was at the airport. She came out with no shirt, a bra and like a bra that covers everything, because she's 70 and her jacket was like slipped over her shoulder and I'm like, oh, oh, honey, no, no, we're missing something. Let me put the jacket on. I don't. Maybe a fashion statement Not with a bra that big.
Speaker 1And how much did you serve this young lady?
Speaker 3Oh, I didn't see that person either. I'm like am I a bathroom attendant or a bartender? What is happening?
Speaker 1You're getting very defensive right now.
Speaker 2These people serve themselves.
Speaker 3The girl that did flash the person was at my bar. I did serve her.
Speaker 1Oh, and the truth comes out.
Speaker 3But sending a woman that came out so confused. I'm like I didn't serve you anything.
Speaker 1She was confused before she ever got there she stays confused the younger girl that flashed the guy.
Speaker 3I can't be mad about it. I mean I probably would have done it in my 20s. Yeah, I could have, but she just kind of kept him out there. I'm like, girl, put it down, you got your free shot.
Speaker 2It's called a flash.
Speaker 1It's not called a cover Again this is, this is federal property, you guys, Stop it, at least make it quick.
Speaker 3There are so many cameras.
Speaker 2Again subtlety is the art of the airport.
Speaker 3You just girls, gone wild yourself about, even knowing it Now the whole.
Speaker 1And how much? Now all of South.
The Fun and Challenges of Airport Bartending
Speaker 3Dakota knows what areola is like, I mean those girls probably one shot, one drink in and those you know, the gentleman probably bought them around, but we that was before we got onto the two drink ban where you can't serve anyone more than two drinks. I'm like you do realize that's a little unrealistic if someone's sitting here for four hours A lot of our guests.
Speaker 2That's 15.
Speaker 3They cannot have no more than two drinks on their check. I'm like cool, you need to close that up. We need to start you another check. We need to find a way around this.
Speaker 1It does not work like that.
Speaker 2You just said no more than two drinks on a check you didn't say there was no, asterisk, you didn't say whilst they were sitting here.
Speaker 1You can have four drinks, two doubles.
Speaker 3I think it was different down at that satellite bar.
Speaker 1Well, no, I'm not talking about. I'm not talking about back then, I'm talking about now, it was the loudest yeah and that's fair.
Speaker 3Like, if you want to, you're, you are kind of at a stainless resource.
Speaker 2You got to pay for it.
Speaker 3Go to the next bar if you want to have more drinks.
Speaker 2Well, that's what I always tell people, even when I'm like hey, you know even when I. Even if they haven't had the limit. I'm like you've met your limit.
Speaker 3Here. I'm like you're happy to try somewhere else.
Speaker 2I just can't give you anything. You see that bar, that's 60 feet away. Look, you're happy to try your luck somewhere else. See that bar right behind you over your shoulder.
Speaker 3This is just all we can do. You've got to protect yourself. You've got to protect your job, just keep going.
Speaker 2This airport's bigger than Just keep going, you'll find another place.
Speaker 3The problem was after they'd hit all of your bars and the other bars. That's when they came down to my satellite bar and went to that bathroom and came out without their pants on.
Speaker 2Oh really.
Speaker 3Like cool, cool, cool cool. I haven't served you, but I get to handle their mess.
Speaker 1And I'm sure you handled quite a few messes from the barbecue place as well.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, yeah, we're right next to each other. Then that hallway just funneled them down to their gate.
Speaker 2Then they actually have to go down to where the dark tunnel, where their flight is yes, uh-oh. Welcome to the dark side.
Speaker 3Pismat, North Dakota.
Speaker 2Five hours in. Let's go see what's going on down here.
Speaker 1Look here on down here, Look, here we got a newsstand and ooh, this bar. Looks like you put those hot dogs on the roller this morning.
Speaker 3That one looks a little busted. Can I have that one? Sure Been there since 7am. It's the juiciest one.
Speaker 1Yes, you can tell that to all the boys.
Speaker 3Did you just edit. It's the juiciest one, no.
Speaker 2No no.
Speaker 3That would have been incredible.
Speaker 1There's no editing here.
Speaker 2I will make that a sample.
Speaker 1Yeah, lindsay, thank you so much for coming on our show today.
Speaker 3This has been a blast.
Speaker 1You want to go ahead and hit that shot on air here while we're recording? Yeah, do that. Here we go. All right, cheers to you and everybody out there taking a shot with her. Lindsay thank you so much for coming on. We will definitely have you on again. It's been a blast. We don't want you spilling all your stories in one shot here.
Speaker 3That's what she said.
Speaker 1No, no stories.
Speaker 2And that's what we're calling them now. The cool kids are calling them stories.
Speaker 1No, no, they're not and I'm not that cool. Guys. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. It's a couple things, though. A couple things, though. Blake talk to me. Well, I want to plug our sponsors real quick Shout-outs to Al Snowball and the Bedford Snowball. Thank you, kevin, for all your support, and we will have you back on here as a guest as well.
Speaker 1And then we are recording live. You won't hear it live, but we're recording live from the big Apple, as always, guys, blake, excuse me, oh, yes, and then our episode. Uh, well, that we recorded, uh, two weeks ago, that dropped. Uh, blake will be putting up a link so you guys can check it out. We did a crossover episode with these awesome guys that have a podcast here, locally called the Otter House. Um, you should definitely check those guys out. Hilarious, we did a crossover episode with those guys and Blake will be posting a link so you guys can check that out.
Speaker 1Those episodes are a little longer than usual. We got a little carried away, so it's like they split it into two episodes, so it's like an hour and 50 minutes, something like that. So, yeah, we could have kept going. Check that out, and, uh, we are also. Uh, thanks everybody for your uh monetization, uh, uh, charities. Uh, we are taking more. Uh, the goal is to get some studio time and start getting up on YouTube. We're looking into getting equipment. So our goal right now is like six, seven hundred bucks. So anybody that pitches in on that much love. We are also working on getting some merch out there for you guys. So thanks for all the love and support. We will do it again in a couple of weeks, guys. Again, thank you, lindsay.
Speaker 3Thank you.
Speaker 1Guys, until next time, peace, Peace.
